Vanoss and His Pesky Pony Predicament

Vanoss and His Pesky Pony Predicament

by: Pixelized Dreams

Thanks to ‘crooked’ for proofreading this story.

“And Fong hits with another goal!” The announcer shouted as team Aurora won once again in their hockey match. Evan Fong, the man who made the winning shot was being hugged by his fellow team members saying “Nice shot!” and “You did it!”. All Evan could say was thank you to them. After the match, he hit the shower room to change his clothes.

It was a late at night hockey match. “Wooh! What a good game,” He said as he yawned. “Man, I’m pretty worn out from the game…” He got his car keys and drove back home quickly to get ready to sleep. He opened the lights to see his ordinary living room. An XBox connected to the TV and a PC in the other room. “Maybe I’ll just check my email. Delirious probably sent me a message.” He said as he turned on the computer. To his surprise, he had a lot of mail. They were mostly from his youtube account from his fans but he noticed one mail in particular. The subject read: ‘To Evan...’. It was sent to him just now. Out of curiosity, Evan checked the mail’s content.

*CRACKLE*

Evan jumped from his seat. “What the fuck!?” he swore as he saw it suddenly rained. The power was out in the neighborhood due to the sudden storm. The lights and the computer were turned off, so he used his cellphone’s flashlight to see if everything was alright.

*CRACKLE*

Thunder struck, but this time, near his house. “Holy shit!” Evan saw the danger in this situation so he grabbed something near him to protect himself. “This plate should be a good shield!” He quickly blocked his face with the plate and duck walked across the room. Evan went to the dining room and slid under the table to protect him from any debris.

*CRACKLE*

Evan held on to the table’s legs to make sure he didn’t get carried away by the strong winds. A gust of wind blew into the kitchen. He heard the knives fall down. “Aw fuck!” The knives were now heading at his direction. He crawled out as fast as he could before the knives reached him. He went to another safe route, the living room. He tried to resist the force of the wind but it was too strong making him fall backwards, knocking him out unconscious.

Evan woke up and coughed. The storm was still raging. “Fuck!” He was only unconscious for 10 minutes. Evan stood up and ran upstairs to his room and sat down on the floor of his room. “God, this storm is too strong.” Evan whispered to himself. “If this is going to last for about the whole night, I’m gonna be real pissed.”

*crackle*

The storm was gradually getting weaker by the second until the rain completely stopped. Evan saw the lights go back on. “Woah… Wait… I have some questions... A storm doesn’t just disappear that fast,” Evan said as he quickly went downstairs. He saw purple light emitting from the living room, so he approached the living room with caution as he saw the purple light start to fade leaving 6 ponies in his room, all looking at him… The storm stopped as Evan stood there, giving a blank stare at what he was seeing. “Huh…” he said as he fainted.

One hour ago, Canterlot, Equestria.

The six ponies ran into the throne room and saw the princesses, sitting in their thrones. Celestia stood up from her seat as she greeted them.

“Princess, what did you call us for?” Twilight said

“It’s because I’ve sensed a hostile presence approaching Equestria in about 4 days.” Celestia said.

“Well, what are we waiting for? We could go beat it up before the 4 days! Problem solved.”

“You can’t fight it, Rainbow,” Princess Celestia said. “It’s a very powerful force, even for you. It will probably disintegrate you.”

“Wow… Then how do we stop it?”

“I’ve found another world. It’s called Earth. Now we want to gain trust of this human,” Princess Celestia said as an image of a person was shown. “His name is Evan Fong. I see power inside him.”

“Really?” Twilight said. “Well, let’s get to it! We have to stop that thing before it hits Equestria!”

“Good luck, my little ponies.” She said as she opened a portal using her magic.

“Do you think it would be safe to go the world?” Luna said.

“I trust them. They can protect themselves. They’re the elements.”

Back to the present…

“Get up, Mr. Fong.” a gruff voice said.

“Urgh….” Evan groaned as he picked himself up from the ground. “Oh, hello officer.”

“Good to see you alive. Last night was a strong storm. We evacuated the entire neighborhood due to the storm. Unfortunately, a few of them were left behind because we were too late.” the officer said. “A lot of houses were destroyed but somehow your house survived, at least from the exterior..”

“Well, officer, I’ll just be fixing up everything. I’m happy to report that I’m okay and nothing bad happened to me during the storm.” He replied, assuring the officer.

“I’ll be going now, Mr. Fong. Just make sure evacuate the house when a storm is coming next time.” The officer warned.

“Yeah… Bye!” He waved to the officer. “Now, time to clean this mess up…” He sighed. He then crouched to pick up a plate, unharmed from the storm. “Huh. Whadd’ya know, this plate didn’t even break during the storm. Oh wait, this was the same plate I carried.” He said as he put the plate back to the dish rack in the kitchen. Evan sat down on his sofa trying to remember what he saw last night.

“Did I just see Power Ranger Horses last night?”He said as he picked up the knives that fell last night. “If It was the last thing I saw before I died, I’d be really disappointed. Stupid ponies.”

“Excuse me, did you just call ponies stupid?” out of nowhere, a voice replied. “Darling, do you know how delicate we are?”

“Rarity! Not yet!” Evan heard a brash and raspy voice. Then a little scuffling and a little “ow!”

“Sorry, I couldn't contain myself.”

Evan quickly jumped back in surprise. “Come out! I ain’t afraid of no ghost!” He exclaimed as he pointed the knife in his hand in numerous directions.

“Twilight, I think it’s time to turn off the invisibility spell.” the brash voice said.

“Okay Rainbow, but be careful. It has a weapon.” a voice said.

Then in a blink of an eye, 6 ponies appeared in the kitchen. “Heh, this is a dream,” he put the knife in the sink. “Well, you do look kinda cute. I mean look at this one,” He remarked as he approached them. “Rainbow and all that. Isn’t that cute?”

“It’s not cute, it’s awesome!”

“And look at you, all rainbow-y and stuff. What I’m seeing is just a dream. If I were to pinch myself and feel pai- OW!” Rainbow punched Evan in the shoulder. “God that stung! What was that for?”

“That’s for calling us stupid.”

“Rainbow! Sorry for that mister-?”

“Evan… Evan Fong.”

“Oh, sorry for that Mr. Fong. Why did you call our entire kind stupid? We aren’t that bad.”

“Well… Um, it’s….” They can’t find out about these freaks who fap to these things. They’d probably destroy the entire human race if I told them.’ He thought. “It’s because of the… No… Umm, because on our world, talking rainbow colored ponies sound… Well, you know… Stupid and weird.”

“Oh. That’s normal.” The violet one said. “It’s the same thing with Zecora, right guys?”

“Right!” They said in unison.

“Anyways… Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and- wait, where’s Pinkie Pie?”

“Hiya!” a voice shouted behind Evan, making him jump. “Thismustbethenewworld!Prettyexciting!Youlooklikeamonkey!Doyoulikecake?Ilikecake!Doyoulikewaff-” Rainbow quickly covered Pinkie’s mouth. “mmph-mpph-mphh!?”

“Jesus, does she always talk like that?”

“Well, only if she meets a new pony.”

“I ain’t a pony.” Evan said. “Somebody’s gotta tell me why there are ponies in my living room?”

“Well, we were sent here because a dark and powerful force is going to destroy Equestria and everything on it!” Twilight said. “And Celestia chose you.”

“Ummm, why?” Evan questioned. “I ain’t a special guy, why not the president or anyone with some power here?”

“Well in truth, Princess Celestia didn’t explain that much about why she chose you but what we know is that it’s urgent.” Twilight replied.

“Well, I guess I better follow the purple pony.”

“It’s Twilight Sparkle, Mr. Fong.” She said as she activated a portal. “Come, we have to be there quick.”

“Alright… Just make sure I-” Evan was cut off when someone pushed him to the portal. “AAAaaaaah!” Evan screamed as he was falling.

“Rainbow, what did you do?”

“He kept blabberin’!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go.”

“Sorry, but we have to be quick. Who knows when that thing will strike?”

Evan woke up in a place with wood flooring. “Man, what am I doing in a cabin?” he said as he tried lifting himself off the ground. “What!?” He saw that his body was no longer of human anatomy. “I’m ‘ONE HUNDRED PERCENT’ dreaming.” He said, walking up to the mirror to inspect his body. What he saw was a white crystal earth pony with a strong build, black hair and a ‘hockey puck with a “VG” symbol engrained on to it’ on his flank. “Goddammit! This My Little Pony dream gave me glitters!”

Out of nowhere, a voice said, “Well, it seems that you’ve finally awoke, Mr. Fong.”

“Wait, where are the others? And what was your name again? Bella Edward?”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle. You have been unconscious for about 4 hours and for the others, they decided to go home and rest.”

“Oh... And also, why do I have glitters on my entire body?”

“Well, by the looks of it, you’re a crystal pony!” Twilight said. “They live in the Crystal Empire.”

“Well duh! It’s in the name…”

Twilight giggled as she continued. “They might be calm and gentle but their history shows that they’re really powerful, but not powerful enough when a tyrannic ruler took over, so we took care of that.” Twilight smiled. “It was really fun visiting there during Hearth’s Warming Eve…”

“Um, Jacob Wolf, you’re distracting yourself.” said Evan.

“Oh, sorry! I just remembered all the good times with my friends, and my name’s Twilight Sparkle.”

“Well now, Sparkle Twilight…”

“Speaking of which, did you have any good times with your friends?”

Then Evan thought about everything he and his friends have done over the past 2 years on Youtube.

“I AM THE GHOST OF THE MASTERBATING…. Fisher-man? Goddamit!”

“Dudududu, Banana bus!”

“Hi, my name’s Lui, and I’m a monkey! Fire… I like fire. I have a Pokemon named Charmander!”

“Alright guys, keep’er goin’!”

“EVAN! I’M FUCKING DONE! YOU- EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!”

“Come out of the closet, Delirious…”

“Nananana, butmun!”

“Well, let’s just say most of my friends are really far away but we keep in touch…” Evan said.

“Don’t you need some teleportation spells or cabs?”

“No, by the power of human technology, we’ve invented a thing called the internet, but you can’t use it to the fullest yet. You need other devices such as the laptop, cellphone or any device that uses it.”

“Evan, keep talking, this is valuable information.”

“Well, how me and my friends talk is via an application called “Skype” on the laptop or pc. It allows you to whether hear the voice of your long-distanced friend or better yet, see their faces.”

“That sounds better than sending letters to Princess Cele- OH MY SWEET LUNA! I forgot to tell Princess Celestia that you’ve arrived! Mr. Fong-”

“You know, no more of this ‘Mr. Fong’ nonsense, just call me Evan. It’s really uncomfortable hearing that.”

“Evan, you should take a trip around Ponyville while I write a letter.”

“Ookay then Sparky and before you say your name again, that’s your new nickname.”

“Oh, never thought of that before.” Twilight smiled. “Well, have fun strolling around here.”

Well, that was a long talk, let’s see… What to do in a place where you were abruptly whisked away from your home planet into a place where technicolored ponies rule the earth? The bakery, of course! These kinds of cartoons always have those gingerbread housing thingies…

Oh God, I was right….

What stood before Evan was a house made out of gingerbread, sugar, candy, and frosting… Sugar… Cube…. Corner…

“Well, here we go.”