A Gentleman in Equestria

Chapter 7: What happened last night?

I awoke feeling terrible. I mean seriously messed up. My head felt like it had been split in two by a rusty axe. Every part of my body ached, and I'm sure that I felt a deep cut above my right eye.

  'What the hell happened to me?' I thought, 'And why do I feel so shit?' I pulled myself to my feet, groaning and aching like hell, and surveyed my surroundings.

    I seemed to still be in Pinkie's room. For this I was thankful, the last thing I wanted was to wake up somewhere I'd never been before. Looking to the floor, I saw around a dozen passed out ponies room. This took me aback for a moment; I thought something bad had happened, but memories of last night came flooding back, telling me that I needn't be worried. Well, apart from the worry of liver damage.

    I recognised a few of the sleeping ponies as those I had met since I had arrived: Vinyl, Octavia, Lyra, Bonbon, Derpy, and Pinkie. A few others I did not know. Over in the kitchen area, two ponies were slumped at the table, surrounded by shot glasses: Thunder and Rainbow. I walked over, gingerly stepping to avoid ponies, and tapped Thunder on the shoulder. He didn't respond, which I had expected, so I tapped his shoulder again, this time firmer than the last.

  "Wha... No... 5 more minutes...." Thunder said, before snoring loudly.

  'All right, enough of this polite shit.' I thought.

  "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I shouted, slapping Thunder across the face. Even though I'm not exactly a morning person myself, I can't deal with that "5 more minutes" shit. When you wake up, you wake up.

  "AH! Okay! I'm up! I'm up!" Thunder said, holding his cheek.

  "Thanks for waking me up guys." a voice said, tiredly.

    It was Rainbow, her head was still rested on the table, but she was awake.

  "Really, it's great waking up, with a hangover, to shouting." she said sarcastically.

  "Yeah, thanks you two." another voice said from across the room. A few other voices expressed their sarcasm-filled thanks, each voice signalling another waking pony, and eventually, everypony in the room was awake.

  "Uh.. Sorry for waking everypony up." I apologised, feeling bad. "But now everypony is awake, I was hoping we could discuss a few things." I suggested, as I did want know what happened last night after talking to Vinyl.

  "What things?" Lyra asked.

  "Well, I'd really like to know what the hell happened last night." I said.

  "Hey, I'd like to know what happened as much as the next pony," Thunder started, "but I'm not up for much talking with this hangover."

  "Well, you don't have to talk," a voice said, "I'll tell you." I craned my neck to find the source of the voice, but to no avail.

  "Who are you?" I asked the voice. A pony stepped out from behind the couch in response.

  "Doctor Whooves, at your service." the pony said proudly, striking a pose.

    'Whooves?' I thought, 'Oh yes! I remember! He was in the background of a few episodes of the show!' He looked younger than he did in the show, though, as he looked to be about 18.

    Everypony stood there in awkward silence, waiting for Whooves to say more.

  "Oh, um.. I usually receive applause after that, but never mind." he said. "So, you want to know what happened last night, do you?" he asked.

  "Yeah, we do." I answered.

  "Well, stay a while and listen!" Whooves laughed. "Now, let me tell you what I remember."

Whooves watched from the corner of the room as I chatted to Vinyl.

  "I know when I'm drunk and I'm not!" I said, not wanting to seem like a lightweight. I held myself in pride that I could hold my liquor.

  "Arch, you've had 7 tequilas! Nopony could drink that much and stay sober!" Vinyl argued.

  "Oh yeah? Well how mush have you had?" I said, slurring a little.

  "I've had 3, Arch, I'm sober." Vinyl answered, "Unlike somepony." she added.

  "Yeah, whateffer!" I said, and stormed off in a drunken huff.

    I walked over to where Thunder and Rainbow were sat happily chatting.

  "Hey guysh!" I slurred.

  "Uh.. Hi Arch." Rainbow said. "Are you alright?" she asked.

  "I'm fine! I'm not drunk!" I told her rather loudly.

  "Are you sure?" Thunder questioned.

  "I'll proofe it!" I said defiantly, "Arch Micro ish not drunk!"

    I climbed up onto the table in front of Thunder and Rainbow, with the intent to dance.

  "Vinyl! Play shomething!" I shouted, drawing everypony's attention. I heard a loud sigh and then familiar music started to play from speakers across the room. I stood on the table on my hind legs, ready to dance my heart out. When the lyrics started, I sang along.

Young colt, there's no need to feel down

I said young colt, pick yourself off the ground

I said young colt, 'cause your in a new town

There's no need to be unhappy

Young colt, there's a place you can go

I said young colt, when you're short on your dough

You can stay there and I'm sure you will find

Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A

I made the well known motions to the song as the line was sung. Some of the crowd were dancing too, enjoying the song and my performance.

They have everything for young colts to enjoy

You can hang out with all the stallions

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal

You can do whatever you feel

Young colt, are you listening to me

I said young colt, what do you wanna be

I said young colt, you can make real your dreams

But you've got to know this one thing

Nopony does it all by himself

I said young colt, put your pride on the shelf

And just go there to the Y.M.C.A.

I'm sure they can help you today

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

They have everything for young colts to enjoy

You can hang out with all the stallions

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

You can get yourself clean you can have a good meal

You can do whatever you feel

Young colt, I was once in your shoes

I said I was, down and out with the blues

I felt no colt cared if I were alive

I felt the whole world was so jive

That's when somepony came up to me

And said young colt take a walk up the street

There's a place there called the Y.M.C.A.

They can start you back on your way

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

Young colt, young colt there's no need to feel down

Young colt, young colt pick yourself off the ground

Y.M.C.A. and just go to the Y.M.C.A.

Everypony cheered at my performance as the sing died away.

  "I think I've proved my point!" I said as I stopped dancing on the table.

  "How did that prove a point?" I thought aloud.

  "I don't know." Whooves said, clueless at my drunken reasoning "You thought it did at the time.

  "Why was that song on my system?" Vinyl asked.

  "I dont have an answer for that either," Whooves replied, "May I carry on?" I gestured for him to keep telling his story.

  "All right, jusht need to get down her-AAAAAHHHH!" I shouted as I fell of the table. There was a distinct sound of glass smashing as I found myself acquainting myself with the carpet.

  "Oh my Celestia!" Vinyl said, worried for my health, "Arch are you all right?" she asked.

  "I'm shpectacular!" I said as I brought myself to my feet, "I jusht need another tequila!"

  "No you don't Arch! Sit down, you've got blood all over you!" Vinyl said, pulling me to the floor with her magic.

    She levitated a towel over to where I was sat and started to dab at the fresh wound above my eye.

  "You know.... you're really beautiful Vinyl..." I said. Vinyl blushed.

  "You're drunk Arch." she said, her usual confidence replaced with bashfulness.

  "No... No... I mean it." I said. Then, to ruin the moment, my digestive system decided to reject some tequila, causing me to vomit slightly. Vinyl said nothing, she just sighed and smiled and continued to clean me up.

  "Ok, you're clean now." she said, "don't go falling off anything else." I threw myself forward and put my arms around Vinyl, embracing her in a hug.

  "Thanks Vinyl!" I exclaimed. She laughed and hugged back.

    I stood up and turned to face Thunder and Rainbow, who were arguing about who could hold more liquor.

  "Sorry Rainbow, but as long as I'm around, you're not the best at drinking." Thunder stated.

  "Oh yeah? Prove it!" Rainbow retaliated, friendly competition in her voice.

  "Drinking contesht!" I yelled. There were numerous woops from the crowd. Somepony rushed over with shot glasses and alcohol.

    Thunder and Rainbow were now sat with one shot glass and a bottle of tequila in front of each of them. Pinkie appeared at the front of the crowd surrounding the pair.

  "Ok! Last pony awake wins!" she said, "Go!"

    Thunder and Rainbow both began to pour their first shots. Soon they were downed. The crowd were cheering, betting on who they thought would hold out for the longest. Second shots were poured, and again they were gulped down by the two ponies. This continued for 18 shots until:

  "Ugh..." Rainbow spluttered, and she collapsed onto the table. Pinkie grabbed Thunder's hoof and held in the air.

  "Winner!" she announced. Some of the crowd cheered, others sighed at the loss of their money. But before any bits could exchange hooves, Thunder's eyes rolled back into his head and he too fell unconscious, faceplanting the wooden table audibly. The whole crowd groaned at the tie between the two ponies.

  "Cheer up everypony!" I yelled, "Tequila!" Everypony in the room cheered at the availability of alcohol.

The crowd that surrounded the drinking contest swarmed towards the kitchen, grabbing tequila and glasses. "Let'sh go until morning!" I called. Ponies whooped and drank and danced to Vinyl’s music.

  “Party through ‘till morning!” Pinkie yelled.

  “Yeah! Party!” I shouted. Then I collapsed, unconscious.

  “Lightweight!” a voice I recognised, but could not place, called.

  “Well actually, he did have more tequila than everypony else, apart from Thunder and Rainbow here.” Whooves reasoned.

  “Well, what happened to the rest of us?” Vinyl asked Whooves, wanting him to finish his tale.

  “Not much really.” Whooves replied, “some ponies left, and the rest of you partied until you passed out.”

    We all stood there in silence, not sure how to carry on our conversation. After half a minute, I broke the awkward silence.

  “So why weren’t you drinking Whooves?” I asked. wondering

  “I was drinking!” Whooves replied.

  “So how can you remember last night?” I questioned, wondering how he remembered all this.

  “It’s simple really.” Whooves answered, “I don’t get affected by alcohol. My body just stops it."

  "I'm... not even going to try and work that out." I told him, not wanting to think to hard with the hangover I had.

  "I think we should all go get some rest now." the voice from before called.

  'It sounds so familiar..' I thought, wondering where I had heard the voice before. 'Of course! Twilight!' I thought to myself.

    At Twilight's statement, everypony apart from Pinkie flooded out of the room. Thunder and Rainbow Dash stopped in the corridor outside of the room. They began talking about something, but I couldn't quite hear it.

  "Come on Arch, I'll let you sleep at my room for a few hours." Vinyl said. I nodded in acknowledgement and we both began walking down the corridor.

    For the first few minutes we walked in silence, until Vinyl began to talk.

  "Arch," she began, "did you really mean all that stuff about me being beautiful?" I blushed, embarrassed at my drunken words from last night.

  "Well..." I hesitated for a moment and thought. Did I think she was beautiful? She had dazzling eyes, and she was fun to talk to and be around.

  "I get it..." Vinyl said, looking to the ground. It seemed as if her bubbly energy was gone and she was distraught.

  "No, dont get the wrong idea!" I told her, I couldn't bear to see her like this. "Vinyl." I stopped and held her head up from her chin with a hoof, "I meant every word." I said the last few words looking straight into her eyes. Vinyl began crying and hugged me. I hugged her back, showing the affection I never realised I had for her.

  "Vinyl, will you be my marefriend?" I asked, hopeful.

  "Yes, Arch, I will."