Jack Ices the Cake

The first rays of sunrise peeked through the window, waking me. Fluttershy was already awake, lying down on her side, watching me. "Good morning, sleepyhead. Did you rest well?"

"I did," I smiled back at her.

"I need to go feed all the animals. Won't you join me?"

"Of course!"

Outside, we made our rounds. I fed the chickens while she tended to birdhouses and squirrel nests. Sunlight warmed my skin in the cool air. It was nice. Fluttershy sang (a bit hoarsely, but still beautifully) as she went from animal home to animal home, greeting each one by name. Watching her, I felt that being transported to Equestria could be the best thing that ever happened to me. Nothing could be more perfect.

Suddenly, a white pegasus in gleaming golden armor landed, startling my dear little pony. "Fluttershy!" the armored pegasus boomed, "Your friends in the Crystal Empire need your help! You need to come with me at once!"

"Oh, dear, what's wrong?"

"I'll explain on the way."

"Oh--oh--just a second!" She flew to me. "Can you take care of the animals until I get back?"

"Of course!" Obviously I was concerned, but I would do anything to help. The armored pegasus regarded me with surprise, but kept silent.
"And--oh, no. The Cakes are catering a welcome-home party for my friends. It was Pinkie's idea, and I don't want to let them down. Can you make sure everything's in order?"

"Yes, but won't they be freaked out when they see me? They've never seen a human before."

She looked back to the gleaming armor. "Will it be OK if I make a quick stop at Sugar Cube Corner?"

"I will go ahead of you and--" the pegasus paused "--and do my best to explain it to them." He took off with remarkable speed.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I'll be back as soon as I can." She leapt into my arms, kissing me with force. I got hard, but she flew away, gracefully, her long tail trailing behind, before I could say another word.

I called out, "I love you!" but I don't think she heard me.

I stood among the animals, stunned and alone. Or, I thought I was alone, until I heard a loud crunching sound. I looked to my right to see that curious chicken again, the one with the horn and antlers, chewing on seeds. Chickens don't chew. Discord.

"Well, well, well, you've really brought joy to my dear, sweet Fluttershy. But it looks like now, things are about to get interesting."

"Are you responsible for this?" I threatened.

In a flash, Discord took his true form, still munching obnoxiously on seeds. "My work in sowing chaos here is already done. Do you think everything will be on an" he appeared in a small boat, which turned sideways precipitously "even keel when there's a human with an overpowered sex drive around?"

"Overpowered?"

In a flash, he stood on the ground, wearing sunglasses. "Yes, overpowered. When I told you I gave you the 'virility of a stallion' I may have omitted an important detail. Stallions in Equestria don't have the same sex drive as the stallions from your world, I only chose the more interesting one. Your pheromones will drive the fillies wild. Anyway," he lowered his glasses, and his tone, "even if I did, what are you going to do about it, tough guy?"

I had no answer.

"I thought so. Just take care that Fluttershy's feelings don't get hurt. She's your number one priority."

"Of course! But if you did that--"

He interrupted, "Mares aren't quite so possessive of their stallions as you might expect. Romantic relationships" he duplicated himself in drag, and hugged him/herself while the one in the dress continued in a falsetto, "are a teeny bit different here. As long as you make sure she's the most important mare in the world, there won't be a problem."

I thought a moment. "But if that's true, then your mission to sow chaos has failed."

The falsetto replied, "We'll see about that." With a chuckle and a flash of light, he was gone, and I was alone with the chickens and squirrels once again.