Rest and Relaxation

His blue-black mane flowed in the breeze. It was far too long to be regulation. His broad, earth pony chest rippled with muscles He was only wearing the Crupper of his bard. He had a white and black feather sticking out of his Martyr’s charm. His black coat shone in the sunlight. In short it was the kind of stallion that made Yards burn with jealousy. Surely he’d never have any problem with mares so he would know what to do. “There’s no trace of anything here,” he called out in his musically deep voice.

Yards looked down at him from the top of the toppled pile of lumber. Aurora was beside him, looking down at the Solari’s best tracker. Beside her Shining Armor was watching the squad he’d brought in to secure the area. Astro landed beside him. “Brought Apple over. She’s down there with the other mares,” he told his commander. Shining nodded.

“What kind of Esoteric Life Form was it?” Shining asked Yards.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. It had to way hundreds of pounds. There’s no way it wouldn’t leave a track.”

“Are you sure?”

“I saw what I saw. But if it wasn’t here then what I saw wasn’t what was here.”

Shining shook his head. “If that’s true...another hive, here?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised by another hive here. What worries me is that nopony knows about them. That means it’s a rogue hive.”

“I know this is a delicate subject with you, but if we’re right, we need to get the Inquisiti-.”

“No.” Yards answer came out before Shining finished the last word.

Yards looked behind him at the knot of mares on the ground. Catty, Toffee and now even Apple were comforting Starfall over her latest attack. Somewhere Messer was flying over the yard. This just didn’t feel right.

“Yards, I know you and Trixie…”

“It’s not it.” Yards took a breath and looked back around. What was this feeling? “This is the first time all nine Potentials have been together.”

“Yeah, so...the other two are in danger.”

“That or a chance to take us out all at once.”

“But if we don’t work together one team might not be able to take on this thing.”

“I know. Especially since...well…” The lessening of the pain made tact possible. There was no need to remind him of the loss of his wife and that the two of them had been the only thing that had stopped the Queen’s infiltration last time.

“This...doesn’t seem like changelings,” Aurora added. The stallions looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “They feed off of love or something. It would seem like they would be at that stallion house. Why would they frighten everypony away?”

“Because they don’t want ponies around their hive.” Yards answered.

“Yeah, but wouldn't they try something more like seducing somepony away from there?”

“Then they’d be coming back to try and find their lover again. No, they’d be more likely to just kill them after luring them away. But if they kill too many than it lures people here. Beat up one or two and it’s not that big of a deal in someplace the size of Canterlot. But using something like that giant monster, well, that’s more like one of Delta’s emotional outbursts.”

“That was your pet?”

“She’s a-was a...friend. When she overfed she’d freak out and do crazy, usually violent, things.”

“Why would you be friends with something like that again?”

“Hey, I only had to kill her once.”

“And you still call it friend.”

“Her. I know, it’s kinda crazy.”

She shook her head. “So, Mister Changeling Expert, where would they hide their hive?”

Yards shrugged. “Not sure. She wasn’t very forthcoming about things like that.”

Aurora huffed, blowing her bangs back so he could see her other eye for just a split second.

“Can you do an area dispel?”

“Maybe But it might not do anything. The further I spread it out the weaker the spell would have to be for me to affect it.”
“Well, usually the best place to hide something is usually out in the open.” Shining scanned the horizon. “Let’s use logic for a second. It has to be fairly easy to get in and out of. Otherwise, you bottleneck yourself into a bad situation if you’ve got to flee.”

“Why would they flee?” Aurora asked.

“Changelings rarely fight to the death,” explained Yards. “For most of them their forms are just phantasms draped over them. Very few are like Delta in that they can completely convert love energy to mass.”

“There’s usually more than one escape hatch, so they call can flee efficiently,” said Shining.

There was a noise behind them. They all turned to see Apple climbing up the lumber stack. “Yards, can I talk to you?” She was wearing that maid dress again. She was so cute in it. What should he tell her?

“Um, sure.” He walked down to meet her as she swung around and started back down. As they walked she started heading to the gate.

“I’ve got to get back to work. I’m already late. Yards…”

“I’m sorry,” was his automatic response.

She smiled darkly “It’s going to take more than that. But thank you.” She inhaled deeply. “I’ve decided to give you another chance.”
There was an incredulous snort behind them. They looked and Aurora was shaking her head as she pulled her hat down lower over her face. She walked off, muttering to herself.

Yards bit back his own retort about how real friends don’t give friends “another chance.” It was just a bad choice of words. Let it go. The
team is what matters. It was important that the team save Equestria. Instead, all he said was: “I’m glad.”

“Yards...I’m...I’m all tied up in knots inside. I just don’t know...I’ve got to get myself straightened out. Please don’t think less of me.”

“No, no, no. It’s just...I could really use more guidance with Rhu. When I’m wrong when I’m right. I...anything, really. If that’s our biggest problem together…”

She nodded. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Starfall says I’m doing good, but you’ve never really said anything either way.”

“Well, I never thought I had to. It should come to you.”

“How to wire a chain of spells into kicking in a safety levitation field after a pegasus is knocked unconscious comes naturally to me. Giving life advice to a little girl, not so much.”

“I guess I can understand that. You’re not the one who told her to kick the foals at school, are you?”

Yards looked away. “I don’t know.”

“Yards!”

“See, this is why. I told her what I was told about what to do with a bully.”

She shook her head. “I need an escort back to the castle. Can you find me one?”

“I’ll take you.”

“That’s okay, you’ve got an investigation to lead. Yards...I’m sorry too.” She hesitated for a moment, then reached out for his hoof. He took hers and held it for a moment. She smiled, like he had reaffirmed something to her. He wasn’t sure why it was so important to her. Slowly he let go and used it to flag down a pegasus. “Tech Sergeant!” A Solari aviation petty officer winged down and landed in front of him. His sky blue mane and orange coat were marred by numerous flakk shots. “Technical Sergeant Sentry, I need you to escort this woman back to the Castle.”

He nodded, “I’ll get two o-”

“No. I need you to do this. Keep her safe. Don’t let anything happen to her.”

“Understood, Captain.” He turned to look at Apple, “This way, Ms.”

When they were out of sight Yards turned back around. One of Celestia’s best guards, Apple would be safe. Now to find the hidden changeling base. The gaggle of girls was one smaller.

“Are you okay?” Yards headbutted Starfall softly.

“I’ll be alright. What was that?”

“We’re thinking it was a changeling.”

“Oh. You mean, it wasn’t some sort of...monster?”

“Nope, just a regular ol’ trick.”

She smiled, it seemed a weight was removed from her back.

“Do you want to help us look for their hideout?”

She nodded and Yards looked up at Toffie and Catty, waiting for their answers.Toffie nodded her agreement. Catty just glared back.
“Would you hear me if I told you where it was?”

“Do you know?”

“No. But you don’t seem to listen any better than your friend.” She looked up at Shining.

“What?”

“About Aurora.”

“This is far more important. Where is she? She shouldn’t be off on her own, especially if there’s changelings running around here. We need to institute our password protection. Does STARE have a password protocol?”

Catty nodded.

“Good, you stay by me. Pegasi team up. Don’t let each other out of your sight.”

“What are we looking for?”

“Start with Shining, tell everypony to go ahead and start changeling protocols.”

She nodded and flew off. Yards looked over at the zebra. “Let’s go find Aurora.”

“You don’t understand the forces you trifle with.” Catty walked beside him as they started around a pile of debris

“I really don’t understand what you’re so afraid of. She seems fine.”

Catty just stared at him. “Look I’ve known her a lot longer than you and I’m not thinking with my little head. The last guy that strung her along like you’re doing had his house burn down. We had to cover it up.”

“Oh, Shining wouldn’t do that.”

Catty just shrugged.

“Look, I don’t want to hurt your friend. I don’t want to come between you two. Why are you attacking me?”

“Because you create chaos.”

“I don’t create chaos.”

“Yes you do. You’re willful, and proud and don’t care about other ponies. Aurora is very caring so she’s easily hurt. Even if you don’t try to hurt her, the chaos you create around you will end up hurting her.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

She scoffed, but they came across Aurora as she was examining an industrial refrigerator on the side of a pile of miscellaneous parts.
“Are you a changeling?” Catty asked bluntly.

“Me and Shiny Pants,” Aurora answered.

“That would make him King of the Changelings,” Catty finished.

Yards snickered. “That’s a great password.”

That got Catty to smile. “I came up with it myself.”

“What do you have here Aurora?”

“Well, there’s this mark on it.” She pointed at a small drawing of an egg that had been drawn on the cooler. Yards scratched his chin in confusion. Catty reached out and grabbed the door. Behind it was a tunnel leading down.

“Really?” Catty sounded genuinely disappointed.

“Nopony ever said changelings were original.” They wedged the door open and drew an arrow in the dirt pointing to the giant chiller. Yards started to go first, then realized he couldn’t use his light spell “Anypony got a light?”

They looked around until Catty found a drawer full of flashlights in a nearby nightstand. They all looked around in confusion. Yards picked one up with his mouth and clicked it on. He guided the two mares down into the tunnel until it opened up into a large chamber. By a table there was a candelabra and a lighter. The candles were half burnt and slightly soft. Catty lit the candles as Aurora pressed herself close to Yards. He looked down at her and she grinned self consciously.

“No making out in the dark,” snapped Catty. “I swear you two are as bad as teenagers.”

“I’m not scared. The darkness is my oldest friend,” Aurora huffed as she walked away. She tried to puff herself out and Yards noticed just how short she really was. She was mostly leg, with a narrow, short body. Her head came up just over his shoulders.

“Yards!” Catty snapped. “I swear you two are worse than teenagers!” Yards looked up at the zebra waiting for them at another tunnel entrance.

Together the three of them walked down the well trodden corridor to a series of small rooms. Each room was simple and Spartan. Two beds, two tables, an oil lamp on the tables. In some of the rooms was a ring of filth at the end of the bed denoting where a footlocker had been. Somepony had bugged out of here very recently.

“So, what do we do?” Aurora asked.

“Let’s look for a room that’s different. If we can find a supply room or the officer’s room we might can see what they were up to.”
One of the rooms was filled with egg shapes on the wall, along with one really large version that filled up the far wall. Inside the egg was the silhouette of a unicorn. The long nosed pony in the picture was drawn with large canine teeth.

“Yards, I’m not so sure that we’re dealing with changelings. This is like the drawing those Earth ponies did at the store.”

“Maybe it’s an offshoot. Like changelings that feed off of anarchy or hate or something.” Delta would be really handy right now. Though she was lewd she was honest and generally helpful.

The hallway opened again into a large room. This had the feel of a college dorm commons. There were several sofas and cushions scattered around the room. The big egg and long snouted pony symbol was drawn on the wall here. This one also had the unicorn silhouette and fanged pony. There was a couple of tables, one had a radio playing very static heavy music. A desk sat at the side of one wall. Behind the desk was a privacy curtain.

Catty lit the lanterns on the tables while the unicorns rifled through the desk, finding only broken pencils and crumpled paper. Catty picked up one of the lanterns and they looked behind the curtain. There was a simple cell like the others back here. This one only had one bed and a small writing desk inside. Aurora opened the writing desk while Yards looked around the bed. Under the head of the bed he found a small crystal on the floor. It wasn’t covered in dust so it hadn’t been there for long. He wasn’t sure just what kind of crystal it was. Catty came up behind him to see it.

“Do you know what it is?” he asked her.

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“A sex stone.”

“A what?”

“A buckin rock.”

Yards shook his head. “And you say I’m as bad as a teenager.”

She gave him a wry grin. “Let’s get it to Shining.” Yards nodded in agreement.

As they came out from behind the curtain they saw Shining and two smg armed pegasi flanking him. “Are you a changeling?” Yards asked.

He stopped looking at the large mural on the wall and looked at him with genuine anger. Eventually he realized Yards had spoken. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m King of the Changelings, hahahaha. What are you Lunari up to!”

“What?”

Shining pointed at the drawing. “What are you doing!” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand.

“What are you talking about?”

“If it’s not Lunari then why are they drawing pictures of the moon?”

“That’s not the moon.”

Shining stopped and blinked. “I’m sorry, I forget, it’s changed since you were a foal. That’s what the moon looked like. When Nightmare Moon was still locked away there.”

“Okay, first off, why would Lunari want to associate themselves with a time during the Princess’s internment, and second we don’t celebrate her Dark Time.”

Shining was mollified.

“What the buck is going on here?” Yards asked.

Shining could only shake his head.

“We found this in the other room. It looked like the co’s room.” He handed the crystal over. Shining looked it over in confusion. Not knowing himself what it was about.

“Well. I’ll post some sentries to see if they catch anypony coming or going here, but I doubt it. Looks like somepony bugged out quick.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt there wasn’t another hidden entryway around here somewhere or else we’d of seen them leave.”

“If you don’t mind I’m going to borrow your pegasi to help scout for other possible entrances.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Not Starfall!” interjected Catty. They looked at the zebra. “They have a DATE tonight.”

Aurora stared daggers at her friend. Shining just looked on in confusion at the mares. “Okay.”

“This sounds like it could start getting dangerous. Maybe we should barde up.”

“It’s in the armoury, if you want I’ll have it sent to your house.”

Yards inhaled through his teeth. “I don’t think so. Just leave standing orders that we have access to it. I don’t want to have to, you know, make the girls carry that around. Toffee can barely fly in it.”

Shining nodded. “Alright, let’s get out of here. We could probably bring in the local CSI and see what they could come up with.”

Yards nodded. “Catty, do you want to go get the detective and see what he thinks?”

“Sure, come on, Aurora.” Her friend glared at her some more, but got up from beside Yards and followed her out.
________________________________________________________________

“So do I need to dress up for this?” Yards called out from the shower at the only other pony in the rooms. Apple hadn’t come home, Catty, Aurora and Toffee were still working with Shining, combing the rail yards. Starfall and Yards should really have been there with them, but Catty would have none of that. She had seen to it that they had left a couple hours before dark so they would have ample time to get ready to go out. Star was tired from flying all day and had ridden him back. She had taken first shower and was now curling her tail and doing her hooves.

“Nah, just doing something simple. That way you don’t get distracted.”

Yards laughed. It echoed in the shower stall. He was sore and tired too. The knots in his neck weren’t loosening up any. His stomach was taking a dangerous roll. He’d screwed up two dates in as many nights. What horror would happen tonight?

He turned off the shower and opened the door. Starfall was finishing her eyeliner as he grabbed a towel and started drying himself. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere.”

Oh, well, that made things easier. “So…”

She pushed him with one of her wings. “Calm down! It’ll be okay, I promise. Just relax.” Yards watched her beautification ritual. It was always interesting to watch a hidden aspect of life. She pulled out her slut red lipstick and smiled at him, reached out and booped his nose. She kissed a piece of paper and threw it away. “Am I pretty enough?”

“You were always pretty enough.”

She shook her head and giggled softly. Yards was glad to be a stallion. They had to make sure they didn’t stink. Sure they usually had to ask a mare out, that was the hard part. Then the mare decided what they were going to do and the stallion agreed or not. First dates tended to be simple affairs so they could get to know each other and find out exactly what a stallion could afford.

“Come on, let’s go.” She sashayed out, expertly flicking her tail to tantalizingly wrap itself along his jaw and lead him away. In her wake was a heady mix of ylang ylang, geranium and a dash of clover from her perfume leaving his mouth salivating slightly. He followed that rump back into their room where she stopped to pick up a basket. “I figured a simple picnic on the roof would be alright.”

“Sure.”

“Great, I had to reserve the spot yesterday.”

“What?”

She lead him down the corridor to a flight of stairs. “I don’t think I can carry you up there so we can go this way. It turns out it’s a really common date spot for all the pegasi in the area.”

Huh, this would be very interesting. Yards hadn’t actually seen any real pegasi mating rituals, well, none that weren’t porn based. Speaking of porn, Yards was pretty sure that Star was putting some extra sway in her hips as they climbed the stairs. There was a final landing with a door that opened onto the roof. She pushed the bar and opened the door for her date. Yards walked out onto a plyboard platform that expanded the spine of the roof big enough for a pony to comfortably walk on. There were small alcoves in the roof line created by the windows protruding through the roof. Couples were nestled together, looking out onto the city and the coming night sky.

“This is us.” Starfall landed in a corner niche. She pulled a blanket out of the basket and spread it out. “I got this one because the view isn’t as good, but it is bigger than some of the others.” She set about getting the food ready. “Come on, I’ll only bite where you want me to.” Yards smiled self consciously but walked down the gentle slope to the picnic area. He noticed a simple iron railing at the edge to help flightless ponies from tumbling to their death. There was also a shelf like structure that matched the pitch of the roof to create a flat spot that Starfall was using as her table.

She twisted a bottle into an ice bucket that had been inside the device. Then she pulled simple foods out of the bucket. There was a bunch of grapes, daisey and cucumber sandwiches, a bag of chips, and some muffins. She caught his eyes on the baked goods. “They’re oat bran, I know how you old stallions are and bran.” She gave him a playful grin as he gave her an evil glare.

“Come here.”

She obeyed his command and sat down beside him, kissing him gently on his lips. “So, Yards...I told you about my family, what about yours?”
“‘I’m a sure thing, why fake interest?’” he mocked her earlier comment.

“Maybe I want to get to know you better too.” She leaned into him, draping her wing over his back and gently nuzzling him under his jaw with the top of her head. She gently rubbed her body against him, creating a sensual pleasure. He pulled her in front of him and spooned. She spread her wings around his forelegs and pressed herself hard into his chest.

“Well, I don’t really know that much about them right now. Me joining the Lunari got me thrown out of the family.”

“Wow, they were that strongly Solari?”

“No, not really. There’s always been tensions in the family. That just gave them the excuse to exclude some of us.”

“I’m sorry.”

He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Thanks. So, uh…” Yards struggled to find something to talk to her about.” “How’s your closet space downstairs?”

She laughed genuinely, temporarily breaking the intimacy of the night. “Such pillow talk, you smoothie.”

“Sorry.” Yards tried to move away, but she held him with her wings.

“It’s okay. Cez, you’re so sensitive. Besides everypony know the fastest way to a mare’s heart is plenty of closet space.” She looked up at him and gave him a soft kiss.

Canterlot was beginning to light up underneath them. They were on the Eastern side, unable to see the sunset, so already the shadows of the mountain were being cast long and stars, both candle powered and Luna created were starting to come out. They watched the lights come on one at a time, slowly twinkling into existence. It was a beautiful sight.

Luna began to bring the cool of the night, allowing couples to snuggle closer. “So, Lunari, I mean, I know you’re not the most, you know, but the other Lunari, is it true about them?”

“Which part?”

“The sex part.”

“Well...Astro dates griffons rather than women.”

She giggled. “Would I make a good Lunari?”

Yards sighed. “That not something that really matters.”

“But Luna chose me.”

“She also chose Toffee, and she’s steadfastly Solari. Sun Buns chose Astro and he’s a Lunari.”

She giggled again. “Sun Buns. Yards, I’m scared.”

“About what?”

“This whole, I’m important thing. I...I just. I keep thinking about that...that...stuff and I froze. You saved me. You saved my life. I don’t…” She was starting to tremble. He held her tight for a few minutes.

“It’s alright. I know. I feel really bad that you girls are so poorly trained. I promise as soon as we get back home I’m going to start training you all.

“But what if I freeze up again?”

“That’s why you train, if you know the plan then it’s less scary.”

She closed her eyes and held Yards with her wings. Her tail began to tickle his crotch. “I appreciate that you think I’m worth it.”

He kissed the top of her head. “It’s alright.”

They sat together in the silence and watched the stars come to life.

“See that there? That’s the Wendigo!” Starfall pointed out a constellation.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Too bad astronomy isn’t that useful of a special talent.”

It was Yard’s turn to laugh. “I understand that.” He disengaged his leg and reached over for the bunch of grapes. He held it before her mouth. She took one and pulled it off the bunch and chewed softly. They ate the fruit while she pointed out stars. Yards knew a lot of their names because of call signs from his time in the military but didn’t know where all of them were. Sometimes she would tell him one and then he would tell her about the unit that that name had been assigned to. Eventually she disengaged herself and poured two glasses of wine. She handed one over to Yards then put a sandwich on a napkin and handed him that. He kind of looked at it funny. Using the bottom of his glass he pushed the napkin down. Then he took a big bite, grabbing most of it with his lips. With a quick flip he tossed the napkin and caught the back of the sandwich before it fell.

Star watched as the napkin floated over the edge and down to the yard. “Men.”

She took her sandwich and sat next to him while he slowly ate his. They were tasty, but she’d put a lot of salt on the cucumbers. Yards took a large drink to try and wash it down. “So, really, why me?” Yards asked her. The glass of wine was relaxing him enough that he didn’t feel afraid to ask her a direct relationship question.

Starfall shrugged. “Because.”

“Yeah, but there’s already a line forming.”

“That happens a lot now. Stallions are at a premium and they know it.” She took a sip from her wine glass. “They expect things and I used to give it to them so they’d take care of me.” With a slight grin she looked back at him and opened her wings slightly. “Then I met your little herd. You welcomed me into your house. You never asked for anything. You made room for me, and all you asked was I keep my stockings picked up. You fed me, and asked only that I help with the dishes. Most stallions anymore wouldn’t be nearly that generous. It’s like you don’t even care about what I’ve done in the past or what I could do for you, you just accept me for who I am now.”

She blushed softly and finished her glass. Then so elegantly she sat her glass down on the table and reached for the bottle. “You’re the first stallion in a really long time to do anything like that for me and not once say: ‘It an’t gonna suck itself’.” She refilled his glass then raised the bottle to her lips. She poured the clear liquid into her mouth. She swallowed quickly, keeping up with the wine coming out. Slowly she pushed the rim of the bottle past her lips, into her mouth. Using her tongue to give her a moment, she inhaled through her nose without removing the bottle, then she pushed the bottle further down her muzzle. Lifting her chin to line it up, she took the bottle into her mouth, releasing her hold on the sweet nectar and swallowed the remainder of the wine.

Yards picked his jaw off the roof. Starfall pulled the bottle out of her mouth and gave her lips a satisfied smack. She gave the stallion a smoldering look over her shoulder. “Speaking of, I think I owe you a little ‘lip service’ from the shower, don’t I?”

Yards blanched. “Uh, now, ah, are you...in heat?”

Starfall smiled at him. “No, that’s a couple weeks away.” She picked up his glass and held it up to his mouth, waiting for him to take a drink. Nervously he gulped the wine down. “No, this is ‘no relationship entangling’, just ‘thank’s for being a decent pony and saving my life’ sex.”
Yards didn’t want to believe her. That sort of thing never happened. She leaned in and kissed him. Pulling away she gave him a curious look.

“You do like mares, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just...I don’t want to hurt anypony.”

“Well, it only hurts if you’re doing it wrong, or really right.” She gave him a winning smile. “Look, here, let’s do it this way. I’ll show you some basic moves that Apple or Toffee won’t mind you knowing, okay?”

“Okay.” She took his hooves and wrapped them around her. Then she flipped her short mane back.

“Start working your way down my neck, along the artery there.”

“That’s not your artery.”

She gave him a stern look. “Nibble whatever it is like you’re preening.”

Yards moved in. Softly he nuzzled at her nape. Taking her advice, he nipped at her slightly. She moaned softly in response.
“Good, personally I like it a little harder, but you’ve got to listen to the noise she makes to tell you how much force to put into it.”

Yards obeyed, biting her harder. She moaned louder. He moved slightly down to a fresh spot on her neck and bit harder still. She squealed in delight. “It’s okay, bruises don’t show up on my coat. But don’t go for a big bite all at once. You-ahhh! yeah, like that. Build up to it.”

He worked his way down her long neck biting and kissing. She moaned and writhed against him in obvious pleasure. The fire in his chest was growing to match the alcohol buzz in his brain. She didn’t care about his failures. She didn’t want to live with him. She just wanted his body right now. They were just two bodies. He kissed her hard as her hooves slid down his chest. They were just two bodies. He buried his muzzle into her mane and bit down on a mouthful and pulled. She whinnied in ecstasy.

Her hoof moved past his chest and hit the tip of his emerging member. She stroked it lovingly as it began to unsheath. It was his time to gasp in pleasure. With a knowing hoof she coaxed him out, kissing him while doing it. As he came up for air, Yards remembered something about nibbling her ear and bit down at the end. She squealed and pulled away. Looking him straight in the eye she lowered her head in between his forelegs. She disappeared under him only for him to feel her hot breath on his tip.

Working it like the wine bottle Yards could feel what her tongue had been doing things he hadn’t seen. Shudders of pleasure rocked his body and forcefully stopped his brain. He could feel her lips come to rest at the base of his shaft and hold there for a few amazing seconds before she jerked away, gasping for breath. “You are part earth pony,” she said with a grin.

Turning around and lifting her tail high, she presented herself to Yards. “Do what you want.” Yards scrambled on the roof shingles, desperate to get to all four hooves. He grabbed her by the hips and pulled her back. She squealed at his strength. He pulled her further under him and leaned forward. His weight forced her to her knees. She grunted and reached under her. Eagerly she guided him into her.

Yards grabbed her by the chest and pulled, burying himself into her. She grunted in pain. “Not all at once!” The alcohol and sex had shut down his brain and his body was just a machine, performing one of it’s most basic functions. Frantically he thrust into her.”Wait!” she called out.

Yards could feel it growing inside him and knew every second was precious. But the mare said wait. With what little control he had left he thrust in and held it there. He could feel her shuffling around under him and he bit down on his lower lip, trying to hold back a little longer.
She seemed satisfied with her new position and breathed out a “go” command. “Now’s when you start biting my mane,” she whispered to him. With a mouth full of mane he pulled her head back. He pumped for everything he could. She moaned under him, moving in time to his irregular rhythm. Grunting she grabbed him with those magnificent wings. Feeling the feathers embrace his sides Yards exploded inside her. She gyrated under him for a few seconds more before her own call of ecstasy came from her lips.

Gasping for breath, he collapsed on top of her. He did his best to keep most of his weight from crushing her. Softly he nuzzled her mane and noticed the sweat foam matting her coat. “You, ah, okay?”

She nodded under him. Her eyes closed and a satisfied smile on her face.

Slowly Yard’s brain was coming back online. “You, uh, what now?”

Without looking she moved her foreleg slightly so as not to muffle the sound she answered. “You hold me.”

“For how long?”

“Until we’re done.”

“Aren’t we?”

“You’re the one still in me.”

“Oh, sorry am I not supposed to.”

“It’s fine. Just calm down. We don’t have anywhere to go. You can stay there as long as you want.”

“Am I crushing you.”

“No, it’s nice.”

Yards lay on top of her for several moments. His brain slowly slipping down again. Physically exhausted, and sexually satiated, he was struggling to maintain consciousness. He’d seen enough stand up comedians to know he wasn’t supposed to fall asleep. Starfall softly started snoring. Yards rolled his eyes as he rolled off of her. Quietly he began to gather up the few items that were in the picnic basket. He looked around at the couples on the roof. He could hear a few of the more vocal ones that were out of eyeshot finishing up as well.

Apparently this was going on fairly often up here. He’d have to remember to be very careful about being up here ever again.
Looking down at the indigo pegasus, he really wished he had his magic still. He could just levitate her down to the bed they would share for the rest of the night. It was too bad she didn’t want a relationship with him. She was the only one that didn’t want one with him.
Oh crap, the only mare that didn’t want a long term relationship and he’d picked her to have sex with? What was he thinking? What had he done? Self loathing washed over him in a thick, comfortable coat of misery. He spun and hung his head over the edge and heaved until the wine burned purgation into his sinuses. How could he have done something so stupid?

“Gee, it was that bad?” The hurt and betrayal in her voice was obvious.

Oh no, not again. He heaved over the edge again as his stomach twisted up once more.

She sighed and got up, grabbing her basket. “Well, I…” She just stammered for a few seconds before she flew off. Yards turned to walk back to their room, but tripped on the roof. He tried to scramble, but the incline was just too much for him to navigate.

Stop. Concentrate. Move with the roof. That roll is a rhythm. Just roll with it. With only slight difficulty he was able to climb back to the spine and walk to the door. For some reason the door wasn’t wanting to cooperate with opening. Using both hooves he was finally able to open the door.

He made his way back to his room. Toffee was standing there in the room. Her face was even.

“Toff, where’s Star?”

“She’s in the shower, crying. Yards...I...saw that you two had sex.”

He walked over to Toffee. For some reason the floor decided to roll the opposite way and he stumbled. Toffee gave him a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

“Sure. No. I hurt another of you again. I’m a horrible pony. I ended up hurting everypony tonight.”

“I’m not hurt.”

“Sure you are. You’re just hiding it really well.”

Toffee shook her head. “Look, I know I’ve lost this. Just, please, why?” Her eyes were starting to tear up.

“Toffee…”Yards tried to say.

“No. Look I know. I’m not stupid. This with us, it’s a microcosm of my life. I had a one in four chance and for some reason I blew it. I...I…I just want to know why.” The tears started to trickle. The cracks in the emotional dam were starting to spread.

“There’s three of you.”

She pointedly looked at him. “Here, but your heart is split four ways, and my part is the smallest.”

“Toffee,” Yards dropped some bass in his voice to admonish her.

“No.” The tears were angry and free flowing now. “I-I just want to know why. Was I not slutty enough?”

“Toffee, that’s not true! You don’t have to be slutty to find somepony.”

"I don’t? You had sex with Starfall, but you won’t with me?”

Yards hung his head. “I’m not jealous. It just hurts.” She pointed her hoof to her heart. “I love you. I want you to be happy. If she is what you want, then fine. If you want Delta, fine. But why not me? That’s all I want to know. How am I just not good enough?” Her wings flapped in agitation.

Yards sighed before mumbling: “You’re just so...perfect.”

She made a noise. Yards wasn’t sure if she was laughing or crying. “Perfect? Me?”

“Yeah. There’s never any hesitation. You always do exactly what you believe is right. You never screw up. It’s really hard to live up to that.”

Toffee was definitely laughing now. “‘Never screw up’? I never screw up because I never do anything. No really, when was the last time I ever did anything that didn’t involve a direct moral dilemma? Never, I don’t. Why? Because I’m too scared. Because I was lied to my whole life. I did what I was always told was what would lead to the best outcome. I always do what’s right because that’s supposed to be how you get a happy ending. But no, who gets your heart? Two sluts and…” her tears started to flow again, “and somepony who’s already had her turn with somepony. Do I get a turn? No I don’t!” Her wings flapped in anger. “I don’t get anypony!” Pain rich tears rolled down her cheeks as she smashed her hoof down. “It’s not fair! I’m stuck being alone my whole life. Unless I’m willing to be a third wheel in a relationship or I take some interests in vagina. None of those options sound particularly good.”

Yards tried to push through her anger. “Now that’s no way that’s true. You’re a great mare. Any stallion would be lucky to have you as a marefriend.”

“Except there aren’t any.”

“Tof, I know it can seem that-”

“No, it IS that way. Yards, you know that the usual gender ratio is 40/60.”

“Well, it’s 43.7 to-”

“Those numbers are pre-war. We lost over ten percent of our population in that thing, mostly stallions. The new ratio is under 30/70. You factor in stallions like Astro who ‘aren’t into mares’, or ones too emotionally or physically damaged like Messer to be in a relationship and I’ve got, at best, about a one in four chance of finding a stallion, even if they were all single. I told you we were a microcosm. I know I failed this. Just, please, explain to me why.”

Yards walked up and hugged her. He held her for a long time. Softly he nuzzled her mane while she cried herself out onto his back. He realized just how alike they really were. He brushed her ear with his muzzle as he whispered to her: “Because I’m one of the damaged. You still have your chance.” She cried harder while he joined her.

“Oh road apples!” came an angry shout from the door. “What is wrong with you mares?” Aurora shoved Toffee away from Yards. She hugged him around the neck.

“Do you want to know why he doesn’t love you? Because you don’t love him.” Gently Aurora stroked Yard's mane behind his ears. “You don’t care at all about him, he’s just a placeholder for anypony that keeps you from being lonely. You’re supposed to be Honesty, how can you lie to yourself and to him like that?”

Toffee tried to sputter out a defense, but Aurora didn’t let up. “And it’s not just you. All of you are horrible to him. This poor unicorn had his horn cut off. Were you there?”

“No...that was Delta.”

“And you wonder why he loves her more?”

“I-We worked together to try and save him.”

“Yeah, I was there I saw how well that worked. You tried to clean up a mess that you made. You know what he went through. Then less than a day later he was shipped out on a new assignment. Then another one. He should be in a hospital! His magic is growing back wrong. He could lose all of his magic. Do you realize what that means? Do you even care about him?”

“OF COURSE I CARE!” Toffee yelled back.

“Road apples! Nothing you’ve said since we’ve been here has shown that any of you care about him as a pony. All any of you want is a bed warmer and a sex toy!”

Catty moved to interject herself between the two, but Aurora let out a deep growl. Catty squeaked and backed down.

Star came out of the bathroom. Her towel was wrapped around her rear, holding her tail to keep from dripping on the floor. “What’s going-”

“And you!” Aurora launched into the new target. “You’re the worst of them all! You’re supposed to be Kindness. Yet you stick yourself in the middle of two other mares who are already competing for him and you just want sex. Have any of you ever even asked him what he wants?” She let go of Yards. She looked up into his eyes. “Yards, what do you really want?”

Wow. He looked around at all the women in the room. What did he really want? He smacked his lips. “A glass of water.” He said, fidgeting. “And a neck rub.”

Aurora gave them all a satisfied smile. “See, that’s all he wants.”

Star snorted and muttered under her breath, “Sure, after I’ve already gotten him off.”

She stared daggers at Star until she meekly walked over beside Toffee.

“Come on Yards, let’s get you away from these selfish girls.” She started pushing him towards the bathroom.

“Aurora, String-” Aurora growled deeper at Catty and she visibly shrank.

Aurora lead him to her bed. It had black silk sheets with a dark blue, squishy comforter. She pulled the sheets back. “Lay down and relax.”
Yards did as instructed while Aurora loaded an album on her phonograph. Yards recognized it immediately. It was Hayloft, a concept album that was mostly instrumental. They had recorded it right before Golden Booty had died so it was drug reference heavy.

She lit a scented candle next to the bed and walked over to turn the lights off. Yards was getting worried. He looked over at the mare as she locked the door to the bathroom. She took her hat off and hung it on the back of the door. There was a lock of black hair in her mane behind her right ear. Her right ear was pierced four times. There was only one earring in there. It was a snake that coiled around her ear through all four holes. Her left ear was pierced ten times. The piercings were all studs of different colors arranged in triangular patterns. Her left eyebrow was also pierced with a ring.

Gently she poured him a drink from a carafe into a tumbler. “Here. You wanted a drink, too.”

He smiled and took the offered water while she climbed onto the bed with him. Her tiny hooves touched his neck and she pushed down, trying to push through his thick neck muscles. She readjusted herself and tried to get more of her body weight on him.
“Just let me know if I’m too heavy.”

He grunted. It was nice. It wasn't enough to get what he needed, but just the attention was nice.

“Do you mind?”

“Okay.” He wasn't sure what it was she had in mind, but so long as she kept massaging he didn’t care. With a slight hesitation, she stood on him, using her whole body to try and get at the deep tissue. He grunted in pleasure. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

She leaned forward, trying to put all of her weight onto his neck. One of his vertebrae popped back into place. He gave a surprised grunt.
“I’m sorry.” She immediately backed off.

“It’s fine, do it again.” He already was feeling better and her hooves were starting to get at some of the large knots. Her hooves moved through his mane and tugged some of his hair. He grunted, but said nothing.

“Sorry. It got caught on my shoe.”

“Zokay,” he said through the pillow. Those small hooves started working up by the base of his skull and he gave more happy grunts. She wasn’t as skilled as whoever had done it for him when he had been captured, but she was zealous enough that she kept at it.

“Do you mind if I set down?”

“Mhrr,” he said. Apparently she took that as a positive and straddled his back. The twin points of excitement poking him in the back told him how much she was enjoying this, but she behaved herself the entire time.

The gentle rocking of the room began to time itself with the rocking motion she was using on his tired muscles. It was like the world was cradling him. The vanilla from the candle and the gentle music added to the effect. Gently, his heavy lids began to fall. His brain had already shut down and his body was following.