Applejack wiped her brow with a foreleg, flinging drops of sweat off into the grass. Tilting her hat back, she squinted up at the sun and decided that it was more or less lunchtime, so she bucked down the last few apples from the tree and began gathering up the full wooden baskets.
"Thanks, Discord," she said, as an eagle-taloned paw held aloft one of the baskets for her. She blinked. "Discord? What're you doin' here?"
Discord snapped his talons and the basket teleported itself onto his head in a flash of light, where it became an extravagant fruit hat. "Why, I just came here to offer my support for my favorite little earth pony."
Applejack raised a brow dubiously. "Thought Pinkie was yer favorite. An' Ah ain't little, thank you very much."
Discord swooned dramatically. "As usual, you've seen through my carefully-woven lies. I'm here because I need your help."
"Well, y'only have to ask for mah help, you know that," said Applejack. "Y'don't have to make up some story or trick me. Friends help each other out. Can Ah have that basket back?"
Discord grinned widely, his mouth extending a few inches either side of his jaw. "I knew you'd agree. You're so reliable and faithful and -"
"Ah haven't agreed to anythin' yet," said Applejack gruffly. "What d'you want?"
"Oh, nothing much," said Discord, his red eyes looking skyward in a way that Applejack supposed was meant to look innocent, but which she knew meant he was probably lying through his mismatched teeth. "As you know, it's Nightmare Night soon..."
"Yeah, Ah know..."
"And I'm still banned from taking part..."
Applejack nodded. "Ah know that too. Did you really think it was a good idea to come as the Smooze?"
Discord pouted. "A lot of ponies complimented me on my costume. They said it was very realistic."
"That's because it was the Smooze!" Applejack glared. "Mah little sis nearly suffocated thanks to you!"
"I'm very sorry about that," said Discord. "Come now, Applejack, do you really think I'd let anypony get hurt?"
Applejack frowned, looking Discord in the eyes. For once, he didn't seem to be lying.
"Fine," she said. "What about Nightmare Night?"
"Well," said Discord, perking back up again, "I've been banned from taking part on the night, but that doesn't mean I can't still do something for the occasion. I've decided to try my paw at decorations."
"Wait, hold up," Applejack interrupted. "You got permission to do that?"
"Well, I hardly think I need permission just to add a little ornamental festivity to the proceedings," said Discord. "Why should I not be allowed to do something that everypony else will be doing too?"
"Gee, Ah dunno. It's almost like ya got a bad reputation or somethin'," said Applejack.
Discord sighed. "As ever, you hit the nail on the head," he said, slithering around her and sliding a paw across her shoulders. "But that's why I need your help! I want you to help me create something simple and fun. Something inoffensive, that nopony could possibly object to. Something that wouldn't even bother Fluttershy."
Applejack glanced aside at the draconequus. "Could be a tall order. Fluttershy ain't never liked Nightmare Night."
"Well, with your help, I'm sure I can come up with something," said Discord.
Applejack shrugged. "Did ya have anythin' in mind?"
Discord twirled around Applejack's neck like a very speedy snake, making her feel dizzy. "How would you like to help me make a jack-o-lantern?" he asked, coming to a halt in front of her and giving her cheeks an uncomfortable squeeze.
"Uh... sure?" Applejack said, through pursed lips.
Discord grinned, his eyelids narrowing sinisterly. "I hoped you'd say that," he said, lifting his lion paw and snapping his digits.
Applejack frowned. "Wait, what did y-" Her eyes widened as she felt a flash of light engulf her, and her chest and belly bloated instantly. Her centre of gravity swing to her hindquarters and she found herself falling hard on her rump, a stiff shudder ringing through her body. She struggled to get up, but to her horror, her forelegs had shortened to her elbows and her hindlegs were now scrabbling pathetically in the dirt as they too lost their proud stature. What the... She thudded her shrinking hooves against her now round and solid chest, finding it firm and cool to the touch, like the skin of a...
Pumpkin? Oh sweet Celestia, please don't tell me he's...
"Discord!" she yelled furiously, even as her neck began shrinking into her fruity body. "You good-fer-nothin' snake, Ah was gonna help you out!"
"Oh, but you still will, my dear Applejack," Discord said, laughing maliciously as Applejack's chin bumped against the pumpkin skin and still continued to descend. Her irate protests became muffled as her lips squeezed together and vanished into the pumpkin, the deeper orange coloration overtaking her lighter coat as her face was enveloped by the surface. Her hat slid off the top of the pumpkin, leaving just a thick green stalk behind as her mane finally vanished. It had taken barely fifteen seconds, and where once stood a proud earth pony now sat a large, delicious-looking orange fruit.
Discord cackled in glee. "Perfect! Oh my, you do look impressive," he said. "And the quality of your conversation has improved, too. Why, I'm almost interested listening to you now." He slithered his draconic tail around the pumpkin's middle. "But I'm a draconequus of my word, and I said I was going to make a jack-o-lantern." He teased the pumpkin's skin with the tuft of his tail. "I'll get the carving tools. Don't go anywhere!"
Applejack sat there completely still. Even the breeze blowing at the leaves on the nearby apple tree did nothing to encourage any movement in her. Inside, however, she was a ball of fury and panic. Crossing the line between animal and plant had completely rewritten all of her senses, and she was struggling to get control of her new ones.
She had, however, heard every word that Discord had said. She was angry enough that his insults hadn't made any impression, but that last mention of carving tools had her worried.
Okay, calm down, Applejack, she told herself. Panickin' ain't gonna help you here. Yer a pumpkin. That much is obvious. Don't like it, but it's a fact. She would have blushed then, if she could have. This was actually rather humiliating. As horrifying as this was, she didn't think that Discord actually had any malevolent intent for her. Applejack liked to think she could read ponies - or draconequuses - well enough to know when they meant business. He's just prankin' ya. Let him have his fun. He'll get what's comin' to him.
She tried to take a deep breath, but of course, she couldn't. No lungs. Not really anything with any kind of motive power. She could feel every cubic inch of her mass, the dense, garish flesh that surrounded the many children within her, awaiting their release. Whoa. Now that's a weird feelin' to have, she thought, considering her seeds.
Without anything she could actually do, her senses drifted outward. She could still hear the quiet sounds of the orchard, and still knew which way was up and which way was down... and she was getting a fuzzy sense of 'plantiness' from her surroundings; mostly underneath her where the grass was, but the baskets of apples she'd just bucked were clear in their distant sugary fruitiness, as was the earthy feel of the looming apple tree.
She heard a snap of digits, and felt herself land on something flat and wooden. "Now I've never actually carved a lantern before," said Discord, his resonant voice filling her with anger again. "What should I go for? I suppose I could try carving myself... but I don't really need that kind of ego boost any more."
Applejack felt herself slowly rotate as Discord turned her round, inspecting her. Y'ain't really gonna stick a knife in me, are ya? That's gonna hurt!
If Discord was aware of her thoughts, he wasn't letting on, because he continued his deliberations without any pause. "I understand that Princess Luna enjoys Nightmare Night... do you think she'd enjoy seeing a pumpkin likeness of herself?"
Discord leaned back in the chair he'd conjured for himself, his serpentine body bending at impossible angles. "Making real art is hard," he concluded. "You know what, I'm not being fair, dear Applejack. Since you're helping me it's only fair that I dedicate this pumpkin to you."
Applejack just sat there glowering as best she could without a face to express with. When Ah get out of this, Ah swear Ah'm gonna buck you so hard you'll be feelin' it fer the next thousand years.
She felt a cool pressure in her skin, like someone was applying make-up to her, but it took her a few minutes to realise that she was actually being carved. There was no pain at all, even though she could now feel what she assumed was a knife breaking her skin and slicing gouges in her flesh. Guess Ah should be thankful for that, at least, she thought. It would have been pretty grim, even for Discord, if she'd had to endure any pain for this dumb prank. Instead, there was just the bizarre feeling of having a piece of art permanently etched into her.
More senses returned to her as the invasive artwork continued, including, to her surprise, her sight. First one eye, then another; she found herself looking at Discord's claw as it touched up details on her face with a sharp knife. It wasn't exactly pleasant to see, but she knew what was happening now; Discord was carving a face into her, and she was looking out through that face. Hey, is that me? she wondered, trying to inspect her own features from within. She groaned. Another part of the joke, of course, that she'd be a jack-o-lantern of herself. Real funny, Discord. Make that ten thousand years.
She gave an awkward grin - not by choice, of course, it was just the expression Discord had given her - and then she found herself being turned and facing the other way. A heavier knife cut into the back of her neck, or at least, where that part of her would be if she still had it - and she felt a rectangular window being made. A whole slab of her skin and flesh was excised, and she felt like trembling in disgust as Discord's entire eagle claw reached inside her and began scooping out pawfuls of her precious flesh and seeds. She was being emptied to serve her new purpose, as a lighted Nightmare Night decoration.
"You're going to look just superb," Discord promised her. "It's a shame I'm banned, or I'd enter you into the competition. Perhaps I can have Fluttershy enter on my behalf."
When this is over, Ah think Ah'm gonna have words with Fluttershy about keepin' you in check, thought Applejack. Her face brightened dramatically as Discord slipped a lighted candle inside her hollowed-out innards, replaced the section of pumpkin he'd removed, and for good measure, sealed it seamlessly with a click of his claws.
Applejack turned to face Discord as he picked her up, beaming at his creation. "Magnifique," he said, blowing a kiss into the air. Now that she could see his face, she found that he was wearing a beret and sporting a Prench-style curled mustache, although those vanished in flashes of light seconds later. "If I do say so myself. But I'd like a second opinion."
With another click of his claws, the pair vanished from Sweet Apple Acres and appeared seconds later in front of Fluttershy's cottage, holding Applejack aloft on a platter. He walked smartly to the door and lifted his claws to rap upon it -
"Discord!" yelled Twilight.
Discord gave an exaggerated scream and the platter tumbled out of his grip; both it and the pumpkin plummeted to the ground, but at the very last second, floated to a halt as a pink magical aura took hold of them. Twilight trotted up to the draconequus, her horn aglow, and levitated the items back into Discord's paws.
"Good, I was hoping to find you here," said Twilight. "I've discussed your proposal with Princess Luna, and she's agreed to allow you to take part in the Nightmare Night festivities on one condition."
Discord's eyebrows leapt upward excitedly, doing a victory twirl before returning to their former positions. "She did? What's the condition? Name it! I'll do anything!"
Twilight smiled. "Well, come back to the castle with me and we'll discuss it. You'll need to sign an agreement, however."
TWILIGHT! Twilight! Ah'm a pumpkin! Discord turned me into a pumpkin... Twilight! Can y'hear me? Applejack thought desperately. C'mon girl, use some o' that magic! Ah need ya!
Discord rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully. He lowered Applejack to the ground and leaned close to her carved 'ear'. "Okay, I need to talk to Her Highness, but I'll be right back. You just... carry on," he whispered, before swooping back up and standing to attention. "That sounds like a plan!" he said, putting an arm around Twilight and vanishing with her in a white flash.
Whatever else the two might have discussed was lost to Applejack now, as she was left sitting outside Fluttershy's cottage, staring at the foot of the front door. Great. Jus' great.
She wasn't waiting long, however, as only a few minutes later, the door opened up, and Fluttershy peeked out timidly. "Hello? Discord? Was that you - oh, what's this?" she said, leaning down and peering at the pumpkin. Applejack stared into her wide eyes, and then saw her face crinkle into a delighted smile. "Oh my, how festive!" she said, giving a little giggle. "Oh! You're Applejack, aren't you?"
Applejack felt her spirit lift. Yes! Yes, Fluttershy, it's me! Oh, thank Celestia -
Fluttershy giggled again. "Listen to silly old me, talking to a pumpkin. It's a very good likeness, though... I wonder who did it? Discord?"
No, Fluttershy, I'm not a pumpkin! Not really! Applejack thought hurriedly.
She felt teeth grip her stalk as Fluttershy picked up the lantern and carried it inside, placing it on a table. She stared at the smiling Applejack face, and Applejack saw her expression become thoughtful. "It's very pretty... but why make a pumpkin lantern three days before Nightmare Night? This surely won't keep until then."
Well, Ah kinda assumed Discord wasn't really gonna keep me as a lantern for a whole three days, thought Applejack.
Fluttershy smiled. "I know what to do with you."
Applejack felt puzzled. Huh?
She felt herself lift off the table again as Fluttershy carried her to the kitchen, giving her an up close and personal look at some flowery wall tiles. Then, for the second time today, she felt somepony cutting into the back of her neck, only this time, the knife sliced all the way up to the top. It was like the entire back of her skull was being taken off, giving her a weird sense of incompleteness as Fluttershy's gentle hooves reached into her and extracted the candle.
Another cool slicing sensation bit at the back of her head. Fluttershy's hooves were on her all the time, and she couldn't figure out what the pegasus was doing. She'd stopped giving commentary and was now just humming pleasantly to herself.
It wasn't until a minute later that Applejack found her head being turned enough that she could see a bowl next to her, and in that bowl... several slender slices of rich orange pumpkin flesh. Her pumpkin flesh.
Oh heavens, Applejack thought. Great Celestia, please, no... not that... Fluttershy! You gotta stop! It's me! Y'can't do this! Somepony help me!
Another pumpkin slice fell into the bowl. Applejack began to feel a little woozy as the knife came down through her eye, taking away half of her sight again. She was finding it difficult to stay focused with the loss of... the things that she was made of... she could still sense the pieces of her body, but she wasn't exactly sure which bits of those pieces were herself, or at least the bits that she did all the complicated thinking stuff with.
The knife bisected her face, halving her smile, and then it neatly cleaved her other eye, blinding her again. She was kind of glad for that, as visual information was a little too much for her right now. She just needed to focus on thinking first, because that was an important part of getting things done. Once she'd got her thinking in order, she could then try to get this pegasus to help her do whatever it was she'd been so adamant about just a moment ago.
The sliced pumpkin went over this plan a few times as it was transferred into a deep metal pan. Talk to the pony, it thought, as a bean masher squished several of its slices into a pulpy union. Ponies are good with decisions. The pumpkin felt increasingly satisfied as the masher continued to crush and flatten it into a fine paste, which was much nicer than being all in bits. It liked being together.
Fluttershy continued humming cheerfully as she poured the bright orange paste into a dough-lined baking tin, and neatly folded a second layer of pastry over the top, sealing the fruit inside. The pumpkin began to struggle with this sudden existential change. Was it now a pie? It seemed like that couldn't be the case, because a pie was technically a foodstuff and therefore incapable of considering its own existence.
The philosophical quandary only became more difficult as Fluttershy slid the dish into a roaring oven, the heat suffusing every part of the pumpkin, annealing it. Hmmm... Ah'm definitely a pie, it thought. Kinda wish Ah was apple. Having determined its true identity, the pie's consciousness vanished into nothingness.
"Okay, Applejack, I had my fun," said Discord, sauntering back up the cottage path. "Time to -"
He stopped. He squinted at the spot where he'd most definitely left Applejack. The pumpkin wasn't there.
A nervous feeling began to gnaw at Discord's belly. He hated this sensation. It was the same one he'd felt when he'd discovered - and then lost - friendship for the first time. It seemed to be one of the unfortunate costs of the whole friendship enterprise.
He teleported into the cottage, forgoing the formality of knocking. Okay, I left her outside, so Fluttershy must have seen her at some point... she'll help me with this. Even if she gets mad at me, she'll still help me, because that'll be helping Applejack. Good. Good plan.
"S-say, Fluttershy..." Discord called out, "...do you know where my jack-o-lantern is?" He wiped a few drops of sweat from his face, finding the delicious baking smell from the kitchen suddenly very uncomfortable.
Fluttershy trotted in, holding a metal tin in one hoof. She'd long since become accustomed to Discord popping in and out of her home, and hadn't even been surprised by his sudden appearance. "Oh," she said, smiling demurely, "well... I didn't want your cute little pumpkin to rot and go to waste, so I baked it into a tasty pie!" She licked a couple of crumbs from her cheek. "I hope you don't mind. Would you like some?"
Discord stared at the pie tin. A large chunk had already been taken out of the steaming pastry dish.
The gnawing feeling in his stomach stopped, and a new sensation took over, although Discord wasn't sure what it was. Every part of his body suddenly felt numb, even his brain.
Fluttershy's eyes widened in sudden concern. "Discord? What... what's the matter?"
Discord couldn't tear his eyes from the pumpkin pie. "I think I'm going to Tartarus," he murmured.
