It was a fine day at Canterlot High. Seemingly normal, for once. No singing sirens, no ketchup and mustard colored demons, no purple pony princesses, just normal.
....
Oh. Oh. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA! You thought I was serious?! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! No no no, NOTHING is EVER normal at Canterlot High. Let's take today for example...
"Urrrrrgggg..." Sunset Shimmer groaned, banging her head against the table. Glaring at her friends, she continued to bang her head against the table, groaning all the while.
Applejack sighed and rolled her eyes. "A'right, Sunset, what's gotten inta ya?"
Sunset stopped banging her head, and let it rest on the table. "Just watch the doors in five seconds."
The occupants of the table swiveled their heads toward the double doors at the end of the cafeteria. Within a few seconds, the doors swung open to reveal a girl very similar to Aria Blaze, except wearing a purple collared shirt and black skirt. A white band with a equal sign on it encircled her arm.
The girl climbed on top of a table and took a deep breath. "Hello students. I am Starlight Glimmer. And I-" BANG.
"Vinyl! Why would you do a thing like that?!" came Octavia's voice from the table a few yards away from Starlight Glimmer, laying on the floor beside the chair that had been flung at her.
"Obviously she's just like those girls. You remember the one with the giant hair? Yeah, I bet she's just like that one." said Vinyl.
"That's no reason to just attack her!"
Starlight Glimmer rose to her feet, looking decidedly dazed. "As I was saying, I think that we need-" BANG.
Another chair hit Starlight, this time flung by Trixie. "The great and powerful Trixie will not be seduced anymore by girls with nice bodies!" she screamed.
Instant silence.
"W-what?" Trixie stammered. "Trixie does not need t-"
Starlight Glimmer rose again, saving Trixie. "-Need Equality, and that includes the not throwing of cha-" BANG.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"I'm with Trixie and Vinyl!" shouted Flash Sentry. "We don't need another demonic ruler! No offense, Sun-" BANG
Sunset was now the one who had thrown the chair- but at Flash Sentry. "No one likes you anyway, Flash! EVERYBODY ships me with Twilight!"
"Er... Sunset... what are ya talkin' about?" Applejack asked, a puzzled look on her face.
"Oh, it was just the author lady saying she doesn't ship Twilight with Flash Sentry, because she doesn't ship Twilight with anybody, but popular polls show that most people ship Twilight with Sunset! Right, author lady?" Pinkie Pie said as she bounced up and down, her mouth circled with a ring of frosting.
"Dear, what are you talking about?" Rarity demanded, looking confused.
Pinkie stopped bouncing. "You'll never know..." she whispered, her hair going slightly flat.
Starlight Glimmer staggered to her feet again. "I.. I demand... equality!" she said, her eyes slightly crossed at this time. "I... I demand..." BANG.
Derpy stood over Starlight Glimmer, with tears streaming down her face. "I'm tired of you people making fun of me! Now you're imitating me?" Derpy raised her chair, ready for Starlight when she rose. "You're so mean!"
Flash was the one to rise first this time. "Sunset, what the heck!? I was your-" BANG.
Sunset had thrown another chair. "I don't freaking care! I just-" BANG.
"Pinkie!" Applejack cried indignantly, whirling around to face her. "What was that for?"
Pinkie shrugged innocently. "It looked fun."
"You didn't have to throw a chair at me!" Sunset said, pushing herself off the floor.
"Y-yes.. this is entirely uncalled for.." Starlight Glimmer said. "I think-" BANG.
"I don't care what you think!" cried Derpy! "Just stop being mean!"
The students surrounding Derpy carefully edged away from her.
The double doors flung open again as Principal Celestia walked through. "Now, honestly, what is with all this ruckus? I allowed the singing, but-" BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.
Several students were in on it now, flinging chairs right and left, toward certain people.
"Applebloom, what are ya doin', don't you dare throw a chair at your big sis-" BANG.
"I can't believe that someone like you would even think of throwing a chair at my beautiful face, Scootaloo, I am Diamond Tiara, do anything I don't like, and I'll tell my daddy on you-" BANG.
"Oh my gosh, it's just like Mortal Combat in here! I can't believe it-" BANG.
"Golden Wings, don't you dare, I'm sorry I broke up with you last week, but that's no reason to-" BANG.
"I'm sorry for starting that rumor about you, Sound Berry! It's just that-" BANG.
"Take this, you stupid tennis-ball-stealer!" BANG.
"THIS IS FOR YESTERDAY, YOU SLUT!" BANG.
"Just because I critiqued your writing rather harshly, Lotus Scent, doesn't mean that you-" BANG.
And in the middle of it all, Vinyl, the person who started all of it, stood unharmed.
Looking around, she witnessed students saying, "Great idea, Vinyl!" or "This is so much fun! Good job, Vinyl!"
But all good things must end.
She could have caught it. She could have anticipated it. She could have dodged. But all the same, the champion, Vinyl, was struck down by her best friend, Octavia, and her chair.
BANG.
Several long, very grueling minutes later...
Discord wheeled his janitor's cart into the cafeteria. Looking around, he noticed the unconscious students, the comatose principal, and the chairs with head-shaped dents in them. There was food on the floor as well. He sighed and realized that this would probably take a very long time to clean up.
EN- BANG.
Author's Note
Hehehehehe
