Nyctophilia

I continued on my way to the outskirts of Ponyville. I passed the train station before continuing off into into the wet muddy fields. I slowed my pace, trying to avoid the muddy spots on the field. Mostly though, I had no choice other then to walk through the mud in displeasure. I stopped and gazed up at the sky. It was still raining. Less then heavily, but more then a drizzle.

I closed my eyes as I let tranquility overtake me and relaxed as I stood out in the rain. Water droplets ran down the sides of my cheeks and fur as if coaxing me to sleep. I imagined looking at myself from afar and admiring at how graceful I must have looked.

I opened my eyes again to the sound of thunder catching up with me. I whipped around and heard it again. It's mighty crackle flew through the air and frightening all that stood in it's wake. But it could never scare me. The next time it thundered, it came a lot closer then before. As if, it was following me.

I put a smirk onto my face and giggled a little. I looked out at the field. I scraped the grass with my hoof and snorted in anticipation.

"Come and get me," I whispered.

I ran, full speed ahead feeling the mud splash onto my fur, staining it brown and sticking to it as if clinging on for dear life. Some flew up into my mouth. I gagged and spit it out before laughing manically.

"Woohoo!" I cried at the top of my lungs while laughing in joy. "Try and catch me!". I ran as the thunder started to produce a constant boom that always trailed right behind me. It was close, but it wasn't loud at all. I tried to jump in as many puddles as possible. Prancing around from puddle to puddle. I felt like a child.

As I splashed, I could see the grass underneath the water as my kinetic energy made temporary craters. Like a small window into what laid at the bottom of those puddles. Water would splash in every direction, washing off the mud as I went along. I felt a if it was chasing me, like we were playing tag.

I eventually tripped and flew into the air. But before I landed, I managed to turn myself over and land on my back. I laid there in silence for a couple of moments before bursting out in laughter. I returned to silence, trying to listen out for the thunder. I couldn't hear it. I smiled and listened to the roar of the rain surrounding me everywhere I went. It always felt so relaxing listening to the rain.

I moved my limbs up and down to make a mud angel. After a while of this, I got up and looked at my handy work. It looked horrible. I rolled my eyes thinking, whatever and continued on my way.

We named her Rainshine. She was gorgeous in every way. Her mane was turquoise like mine, but with highlights of sky blue mixed in, just like her father. And also just like her father, her coat was all white. When she sleeps, her snores were the most adorable thing in the world. Only second to the way she smiled. She was our pride and joy. When we felt down, she was the one thing that could turn it all around.

I could no longer tag along on the expeditions into the Everfree forest to study cloud activity. I was forced to stay at home and take care of the baby. Which really, I didn't complain all that much. Sure, it was sad knowing my days of adventuring would cease for a while, but I cherished every moment with her. It was well worth the sacrifice.

When Rainshine turned 7, we were confident enough to hire a babysitter to take care of her. I could finally rejoin the monthly expedition. It was when our team entered the heart of the Everfree forest did we discover Rainshine. It turned out that she hid inside one of my colleagues bags. I was so mad at the time. I scolded her for a good 5 minutes. She was passive, and didn't care much for being patronized. So, when we decided to keep moving, Rainshine spoke up and told us that it was going to rain 4 km northbound.

Cloud thought she was ridiculous. He said that the chance of any kind of weather activity in the area was 4%. Rainshine complained and complained, swearing that it was going to rain there. One of our staff said that she had to get samples from the pond near the area anyways. Might as well now then later.

So, we agreed and continued to walk along. Rainshine got out one of our umbrellas and propped it open. Her father laughed in disbelief. And, wouldn't you know it, it rained.

"I told you! I told you! I told you it would rain, but you never listened!" I looked over to Cloud who stared at me. I laughed and he laughed harder as we recalled the day we met at the wonder bolts stadium.

Our daughter, could not only detect weather pattern days in advance, but also determine precisely where it would happen. She joined us on our expeditions ever since.

The water still rained heavily all around me. Continuing it's dull roar that permeated the everything. My fur and mane were at their maximum carrying capacity for soaking up any water. My movements then started to become sluggish, though it never bothered me.

Then, I finally reached my destination. I could see it just ahead of me, a hill where a single bench had sat atop it. A place that was a reservoir for many memories.

It was gradual, but I could feel the ground beneath me beginning to steepen. Though it was strange, I didn't remember the hill being so difficult to climb. And you see how I use the word climb instead of walk which was what I should have been doing as I did so many months ago.

Halfway through, I stopped to take a break. Having my head hung low, I raised it and looked up to the top. I took a deep breath, searching for that marvelous petrichor. But it had turned out that my time in the rain had me desensitized to it's fragrance. Still, reminding myself of the fresh air didn't hurt me.

When I finally reached the top, I staggered towards the bench with flimsy hooves and took a deep sigh of laxness. I propped myself onto the bench. At first, then wood felt cold to touch, but after a few moments the cold subsided and my body heat was able to offer comfort. The sounds of thunder began to boom from a far off distance.

We always called this place "the hill," though that was improperly worded because it was actually a cliff.

I was overjoyed when she received her cutiemark. I cried tears of joy. Her cutiemark meant it was official. She was now a permanent member of our team. We celebrated with a small party with a couple of our friends, and a couple of Rainshine's. Rainshine didn't have to many friends, but the ones she did have were inseparable to her. Tightly bounded from the strings of friendship that brought them together.

A few days later, we had the expedition. It turns out that one of Rainshine's friends had the Pegasus pox. It was in it's early stages so detecting it would've been impossible without special equipment. Fortunately, Rainshine didn't catch the disease. Unfortunately, I had.

I had to skip out on the expedition. They begged me stay, but I kept protesting I wanted to go. Eventually, logic kicked in and I agreed. They too pestered on about staying, yet I insisted they go on the expedition. I told them that they had to go or else our research would be discontinued by the government. They had to go.

I wish they never came to their senses.

The expeditions usually took around a week or so, and in that time my pegasus pox only got worse. It was a rare case where if I didn't receive medical attention, the disease could have been lethal. So after I collapsed on the floor, I was rushed to the hospital. One of my old friends was visiting at the time, what luck.

After I was rushed to the hospital I woke up to nurses chattering about all around me. When I finally awoke, I immediately asked, "Where's my family?"

"They haven't came back ma'm." one of the nurses replied.

"But they should be here by now," I complained.

"I'm sorry ma'm I just don't know."

And so, I laid down on that bed. I waited for days. I hoped, prayed and wished as hard as I could, all so they would be back. Then, after my 4th day hospitalized,they finally put up a search warrant.

Everyday, the police would come in and tell the situation on and everyday they would tell me the same thing. I was terrified, but still I hoped for their return.

My condition wasn't getting any better either. Thank goodness it didn't get worse then it did, but it never got better. Right as I was about to lose hope, the officer told me that they were found. But the way he said it, made my heart slumped into the pits of my stomach.

I don't want t get into the details, but they were found at the the bottom of some ravine deep in the Everfree. I was advised not to see the pictures, but I had to see them for the sake of my sanity. I really wish I didn't.

So for a another week or so, I sat in my bed. A lot of nights had me crying and screaming for my family to be with me. I thought I was going to die. And all I wanted was for my family to be with me. I just wanted them to be around me, to comfort me, to tell me how their day was, to just about anything. As long as they were there, I would have been happy.

I eventually got better, but it had turned out the disease had taken away my magic abilities and I could no longer fly. I could never again fly through the rain. But then again, fate had not aloud me to die which I was, in part, grateful for. Just for the sake of life.

The months after that seemed to just strip me apart. I was eventually reduced to feeling alone, bitter, hateful, and just a concoction of negative emotions. I was alone. And alone I would always be.

And so that brings us back to here. It's been exactly a year since they were confirmed to be dead. I sit here on this bench, imagining the world I would have lived if they were in it. I look over to my right and it's a sunny day outside, gross weather if I may add, and I see him raising her into the sky.

"I wanna be like mommy dad!" I would hear her cry as her father's magic made her soar through the sky. I imagine her laughing as I keep crying out to be careful. What a life I could have had with them. What a world that would have been.

"What a life we could have had..." I said though I wasn't able to hear myself under all the rain. As if in response, the clouds above started to thunder softly. I smiled when the clouds did that.

"I sometimes wonder if it's you up there. You and our child. Sprinkling down on us mortals. Watching me, protecting me." I said aloud. I smiled. But my smile gradually turned into a frown.

"Why? Why did you have to go..." I whispered to myself.

"Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't you both just come home...why couldn't..." I paused.

"Why couldn't we be happy!? Why! Why! Why!" I yelled up at the clouds.

The clouds didn't respond. Nothing responded. I didn't blame them, you can't tell if somebody is crying in the rain. You can't tell tears and raindrops apart.

I sobbed there on the bench just as I did when I finally got out of the hospital. Never, for a moment did I forget why I suffered. Why I was miserable. Why I was crying. Never, did I forget why I loved the rain. I can be myself in the rain. I could always be myself around them.

The rain continued to pour down. It comforted me as I sobbed, and eventually my crying had ceased.

I took a step forward. The clouds crackled in response. My body felt distorted and my face soar from the uncomfortable position I had took on bench as I sobbed.

I took another step. The clouds now softly thundered above me as if questioning my actions.

Another step. That's when it clicked. Suddenly, thunder and lightning violently jolted all around me with such fury it scared me half to death. I staggered back a little.

"I'm sorry, I just can't..." The clouds continued to thrash about violently with thunder and rage telling me to step back. To run in the opposite direction to try and scare me to live. But now, I wasn't phased at all. I continued to walk forward. I continued to walk forward to the edge of the cliff.

Bursts of lightning shot through the sky creating a terrifying showcase of sounds and visuals. I did not want to nor could I slow down my pace at this moment.

With every step I took, the sky above me only grew more chaotic as hell was being unleashed above and all around me. I was being pushed by powers unknown to my conscious being. My will to live drowned by the sadness and grief of their loss. I couldn't live. It was to much to bear, to much to endure. I just wanted them by my side once more, to hear them one more time.

I was at the edge of the cliff now. My hooves firm on the ground despite it's lubricated surface. The wind pushed me back with such force that the water droplets around me once my friends, had now turned into painful daggers that shot pains similar to to pins and needles everywhere where stimuli could be felt.

I looked back for a moment. In this moment that lasted for a fraction of second I saw my life without them. I saw myself moving back to Cloudsdale. I saw myself meeting up with some pals and seeing how they were doing. Along the way, meeting a new stallion who had a motherless foal, and being her new mother, a new family. I saw myself moving on and continuing to live my life without them in peace. I saw a new life of happiness.

But by this point it was too late. Gravity had pulled me down.

I saw the raging sea that the storm had fueled to become all the more deadly crashing against the sides of the cliff in anger. I didn't feel anything I had no time to feel regret. Only the lingering pain of sadness over took me as I fell off that cliff.

I close my eyes and listen to the rain. Oh how I loved the rain. I could always be myself in the rain. The rain made everything seem so beautiful. It always reminded me of them. And for a moment, under the roar of the relaxing patters of rain drops, under the lightning and thunder, under the cacophony that was the rain, I could hear them laughing. I heard them laughing from over the cliff. I could see them running around the field as they played tag.

I smiled. Soon, I would join them. And that thought, was even more lovely and brought me more joy then my love for the rain could ever bring. Yes, I loved the rain, but not as much as I loved them.

Rain rain go away

come again another day

the little fillies want to play

rain rain go away

Author's Note

My school is on strike so I've been inside all week and i's raining a lot outside. Decided to go for a walk, and it felt awesome. The walk inspired this fic. I really recommend walking in the rain with a bathing suit and some sandals. The harder it pours, the better. It feels awesome. Leave a towel at your front door before you go, for obvious reasons. You might be surprised of all the ideas that pop into your head.