An old stallion was tossing and turning in the night. He was a simple earth pony, and nothing in particular about him stood out. He had a slim muscular frame and brown fur, once bright but it had dulled over his long life. His mane had long since grayed, but he’d forgotten its former colour anyhow so it didn’t really matter. Deep gray eyes blinked one, then twice. It was a night like any other night; let sleep seemed to elude him.
His bed was much like he was, basic and functional. It may not have been very fancy but it was comfortable. Well, it was usually comfortable, but tonight it made him feel like Golden Locks; it could be either too hard or too soft, but no matter how he twisted it just didn’t feel right. He sat up.
Idly, he looked around the room he was attempting to sleep in. It was just a little bit cluttered, much like the rest of his house, and one could say the rest of the town. The stallion thought he should probably clean up a bit, as he had thought many times before, but he could never bring himself to actually pick anything up. Perhaps he liked it better a little cluttered; the room always seemed so empty when it was clean. Indeed even when cluttered, there were still relatively few objects around the room
A bookshelf in the far corner was nearly full, despite the fact that the stallion rarely read anything. It had taken him quite a few bits to fill the shelf with books, but the shelf was a gift from his late brother and he thought it looked much better full. He thought about reading one to distract him from his unrest, but he decided against it as he always did. He rarely thought about his brother anymore. It was less painful that way.
Growing up he and his older brother were close. Since their father was in the Equestrian Air Force they were force to move quite often, and knew most of the major cities like the backs of their hooves. They got to see the world, but they never stayed in one place long enough to make friends, so they were friends with each other. They were as close as two brothers could be. Why he remembered the one time they went exploring in Detrot. That had been a stupendous day.
Their family had just moved from Trottingham, and as they first drove into Detrot the two brothers rolled down their windows and stared at the city in amazement. They saw buildings that reached into the sky, and smoke billowing out of industrial smokestacks. The streets were filled with ponies to meet and the skies were filled with Pegasi. Their eyes were wide and their mouths were agape as they pulled up to the apartment building they’d now be living in. The car slowed to a stop, and by the time their mother turned to look at them they were out the door and halfway down the street.
“Colts, we have to unpack and...”
“Let ‘em go”, her husband remarked. “They’ll be fine I’m sure, and besides we have to take our things upstairs.
“I hope nothing happens to them.”
“Stop worrying. They’re smart colts.”
“You’re right; I guess I’m a bit too protective at times.”
“That’s why you’re such a good mother, now come on. We have work to do.”
The colts ran until they could run no more. They had no idea where they were going, but felt the need to run to wherever they were going. There was just so much to see in the city and so many ponies to meet. An urban jungle spread as far out as either colt could see, and further up then they could even fathom. Nopony could ever figure where to start, so they simply ran and took in everything they could. They saw concrete touch sky, and Pegasi riding the updrafts from the skyscrapers. In front of them the road banked upwards sharply, and then the slope became shallower until the top.
“Race you to the top?”
“You’re on.”
“Do we go on three or…?” The colt’s words trailed away as he saw his brother take off. If he’d known any curse words he’d be using them, but he didn’t so he simply took off in a dead sprint. He could see his brother faltering up ahead; apparently the hill was larger than either had though at first. He slowed down but kept a steady pace, slowly gaining ground. As his brother neared the top the colt put on speed; it’d be close, but the colt knew he could win. His brother looked back and saw the colt gaming, so he put on a burst of speed of his own.
Adrenaline fuelled the colt’s body; he could feel himself running faster. The only thing that mattered in his mind was beating his brother to the finish, his focus became a laser. He could feel himself pulling ahead, victory only a few yards away.
*THUNK*
All of a sudden he was on the ground. His world spinned and his eyes lost focus. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to distract himself from the pain and exhaustion in his forelegs. Finally he found the strength to open his eyes, and he saw his brother looking down on him with his hoof extended.
“You okay?”
“I think so.” The colt took a few tentative steps. “I’m fine.”
“Good.”
“So I guess you won then?”
“Nope, turned around when I heard you fall. No one could have missed a noise like that; sounded like a Pegasus crashing”
“Race still on then?”
“Not with that leg. We’ll call it a tie.”
So they trotted to the top of the hill and what they saw there made any thought of the race vanish instantly. A giant parking lot stood below them, and upon it was the one thing that every colt and filly wished to see when they walked down the street. When they stepped onto the top of the hill, both brothers instantaneously realized that today was going to be unbelievably, unequivocally, undeniably awesome.
To two colts, the sight before them was one of true wonder, a giant wheel stood against the sky, and an equally large carousel was next to it. From a distance they could make out the midway, filled with games of skill and luck. Other stands sold treats the colts were lucky to see once year, and would never be allowed to eat if their parents were with them. And they each had a pouch full of bits
A long happy day ensued, with rides ridden and treats simply inhaled. They spent at least half their bits at the midway alone, but won nothing. It didn’t matter though; it wasn’t about the prizes anyhow. The skies began to darken, and the brothers knew they’d soon have to go home. The colt spoke up first.
“Time for one more ride? Come on; let’s go on the Ferris wheel one more time.”
“I have a better idea.
His brother led him to a small photo booth tucked between a cotton candy stand and a ring toss game.
“One photo please.”
The young blue unicorn at the booth stepped out and took a photo. Her angle was perfect, the Ferris wheel was in the background and everything was bathed in the light of dusk. The carousel could be seen as well, with happy fillies riding painted elephants and deer. The two brothers were in the foreground, each with a smile as wide as a mile. The colt’s brother took the photo from the stallion, and turned to face the colt.
“Take it.”
“But you paid for it.”
“Call it a gift. You don’t want to forget this day, do you?”
They both laughed, and made their way home as dusk faded to night.
When his brother died decades later, the stallion cried for months and was distant for well over a year. The funeral was small and peaceful, attended by the brother’s few good friends and his last family member. That day the stallion watched his only brother and best friend was lowered into the ground. It was raining. He was still there when all the other ponies had left. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a photograph of him and his brother laughing with the carnival in the background. He knelt down, placed it in front of his brother’s headstone, and quietly wept.
The stallion turned to his nightstand, unable to look at the shelf any longer. His brother had always been there for him, and vice versa. He had known him all his life, and at his brother’s grave he felt truly alone for the first time. As he wept, no one came to comfort him, for there was no one left to. The realization only made him cry more.
A photo on his nightstand showed a much younger version of himself, smiling as he posed on a street in Canterlot. His arm was around a turquoise unicorn with a green mane, so lightly coloured it appeared ivory. She was beautiful by anypony’s standards. Canterlot Castle rose majestic in the background, and the photo encapsulated what had been the happiest day in the stallion’s life. He remembered it fondly, but felt a pang of sadness whenever he thought of that wonderful mare. He turned away from the picture, but the memories lingered in his mind…
The stallion moved out of his parents’ home at 20, while his father was on a short assignment in Ponyville. There was no air force there, the nearest one being in Cloudsdale, but apparently there were some scheduling issues with the local weather captain so his father was called in as a temporary replacement. It had been very short notice; his father got the orders the day before he was needed in Ponyville to help clear clouds. Everyone packed very quickly and they were gone on the next train out.
“Hey dad, why did we have to leave so quickly? We usually get at least two weeks notice.”
“Their weather captain left town without leaving so much of a note, and I was the closest person qualified for the job.”
“Too bad, I was gonna go see the Wonderbolts tomorrow. It was a one day show.”
“I’ll reimburse you. Look, you can see Ponyville from here.
A sleepy little town could be seen out the windows of the train. They had arrived in the evening, and everything was peaceful and quiet. The stallion quietly thanked Celestia for this; it was a nice change of pace from the chaotic big cities the last few assignments had brought him to. He thought, no, he knew that he’d finally have a nice quiet week to relax.
When he awoke the next day we went out to explore the town and meet the locals. This was the kind of place where you knew your neighbours, and it was possible for one pony to know everypony else, so he figured the ponies here would probably be friendly and welcoming.
In fact as he walked around town that day he met many, well, interesting ponies. Why the first mare he ran into just stared at him, gasped, and ran off without a word. He just stood there stunned, not knowing exactly how to react. Eventually he just shrugged it off and kept walking.
He had explored most of the town by noon, and saw a few other ponies in the streets. There didn’t seem to be many ponies out and about today, but he was walking around in the middle of a work day so he wasn’t surprised. Of those he did see none in particular had stood out, except for a gray Pegasus with peculiar eyes. She’d almost killed him when she crashed, but everypony has accidents once in a while so he forgave her and continued on. He also ran into a zebra. She was friendly and had a unique way of speaking, although a lot of the nearby ponies seemed a little uneasy at her presence.
By this point he was feeling a bit peckish, so he went to the market to could grab something to eat. He felt like an apple, or perhaps a carrot. Luckily the market offered both, but the apple vendor convinced him just to get more apples. Well, not convinced, more like threatened to suffocate him with her hat. That mare was scary intense about apples.
Having seen most of the town, he headed home. The fillies were just getting off school and the streets became more crowded, so he decided to sneak into the local library to escape rush hour. He’d always enjoyed a good book, and figured he’d be able to find something good there. Perhaps the new Daring Do book would be in, and he’d need something to do during his stay in Ponyville.
A turquoise unicorn with a light green mane was headed to the town library. She’d heard the new Daring Do novel had just come in, and was determined to get there before that cyan Pegasus signed it out again. She arrived at the giant tree that housed the library and was astonished to find a brown stallion unconscious outside. She poked him with her hoof, but there was no response. Well I guess someone has to take care of him. She turned around and began walking home, levitating the stallion behind her. Daring Do would have to wait.
The stallion awoke to an angel staring down at him. Well, a unicorn actually, but an angel in his eyes. The most beautiful mare he’d ever seen began to speak to him.
“Oh good, you’re awake. You were passed out outside the library. What happened?”
“Library…, Daring Do…, purple unicorn…, science…, too much science…” The stallion could barely get words out of his mouth.
“Here, drink this.” The stallion drank, and almost spat the drink right back out.
“What was that?”
“Don’t really know, Zecora said to have you drink it when you woke up. It’s kind of a cure-all”
“Zecora? Oh you mean the zebra; I remember seeing her in town this morning.” The stallion said his next words before they even registered in his mind. “Hey, do you have a very special somepony?”
They were planning the wedding by the end of the year. The mare hadn’t had a very special somepony, and their first date was a party the gasping mare threw since there was a new pony in town. When his father got assigned to another town the stallion decided to move out and move in with the mare he loved. Apparently the mare was rather well connected and was able to get him a job helping out at Sweet Apple Acres. They soon fell in love, and began to prepare for a spring wedding.
The mare handled most of the wedding planning, since she knew most of the ponies in town well. She knew that the best cakes could be found at Sugar Cube corner, and even convinced one of Equestria’s greatest designers to design her dress and his suit for free. All he’d done was convince his coworkers at Sweetapple Acres to help cater. Her greatest feat was getting one of her friends to convince Celestia herself to officiate. The stallion didn’t know what he did to deserve a mare like that, but he was truly grateful for her.
A few months later the happy couple was about to return from their honeymoon in Canterlot. Despite meticulous planning, the wedding had really been a disaster. Everyone got food poisoning from the cake (apparently the baker had taken on an assistant) and the caterers had to cancel on account of zap apple season. But worst of all, Celestia had last minute obligations so they sent Luna instead. Long story short, Luna is no longer allowed at weddings. At least the outfits were nice.
The honeymoon in Canterlot was less eventful, and neither of them really mingled well with high-society ponies. Still, they were married and that was all that mattered to them. As Celestia was lowering the sun the couple boarded the last train of the day, express to Ponyville.
The train roared towards Ponyville, taking a new route through the mountains. Smoke belched from the coal furnace and wheels clacked on steel wheels. The cabins were abuzz with chatter, mostly ponies returning from vacations. There were many families there with fillies and colts, several of whom seemed upset at leaving Canterlot. The train was running on time as always, and one could see a brown stallion and turquoise mare lost in each other’s eyes.
All of the sudden the air was filled with harsh noises. A rumbling like an earthquake filled everypony’s ears and a loud screeching pierced the air. Everyone started screaming but nopony knew what was happening. The screeching got louder and the train slowed noticeably, but still sped along as if pulled by some invisible force.
The mare stuck her head out the window and saw the source of the rumbling noise. Boulders and stones of every size flowed across the tracks in front of them like a roaring river. The train wouldn’t stop in time, and she knew it. Anypony who looked out the window would know it. The screeching of brakes stayed constant but it was clearly having no effect.
Anypony unaware of the rocks in front of them still knew something must be wrong. The screeching of brakes was a harbringer of destruction to anyone who cared to listen, and nopony could ignore the intense rumbling around them. Panic and chaos ruled the cabins, but the mare remained calm and began to cast a spell.
The stallion felt his entire body tingling, and looked town to see a turquoise shield forming around him. He was confused, but instantly realized what was happening when he looked at his wife next to him. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and her horn glowed with magic.
“No honey, don’t do this! Save yourself!” She remained focused on her magic and she only took a brief moment to respond to him.
“I love you.”
“No I can’t let you do this!” He fought against her magic. “You have to protect yourself!” He was struggling, but the magic held him firm. There was nothing he could do.
He opened his mouth to try to say something else to her, but nothing came out. It was useless. As the train sped to its final destiny, she turned to him and spoke.
“Goodbye, my love.” All of a sudden there was a massive crash, and the stallion felt himself flying through the air towards the front of train. He could see his wife in the air next to him, still completely focused on her magic. Time slowed down, and he whispered into her ear.
“I’ll always love you.”
The next thing he knew the stallion was on the floor of the train. There wasn’t a scratch on him, but his pain was unbearable. He looked down to his wife next to him; it was clear she wasn’t in good shape. Blood spilled across the features of her face, and she was motionless.
“Honey, wake up.” No response.
“Please wake up. WAKE UP!” Anyone who survived the crash could hear him now. “WAKE UP DAMN IT!” Tears flowed uninhibited from his eyes and he didn’t notice. He started pumping her chest. ‘DON’T LEAVE ME! I LOVE YOU!” He was hitting her now, trying anything to get a response. He was unaware of anything around him, and broke down into sobs.
He felt hooves on his shoulders dragging him away, and although he struggled he couldn’t break free of them. His wife’s prone figure could no longer be seen, and as they dragged him out of the train he gave up his struggles and wept. He’d just lost the only pony he’d ever love, and he could only blame himself.
A great pony once said “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. The elderly stallion would never know if this was true, but as much as he missed her he was glad for the times they’d shared. He counted sheep inside his mind, at this point willing to try anything to sleep.
One, two three, four…
Why must my only escape elude me so?
Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen….
When will sleep come?
Twenty-nine, Thirty, Thirty-one, Thirty-two, Thirty-three
How many sheep will it take?
Forty-Nine, Fifty
How many sheep until I sleep?
He gave up.
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
The grandfather clock on the opposite wall stole his attention. It was old, cracked and no longer kept time. The hands were frozen but the pendulum still swung. Its only purpose was to ominously tick away.
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
The clock had once been magnificent. It was made of stained wood with small intricate carvings as decoration, but the entire outside had been dulled and scratched. It was no longer aesthetically pleasing, nor was it functional. It simply sat and ticked away.
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
Despite the old clock’s uselessness, the stallion could never bring himself to throw it away. He never bothered buying a new one either, and he realized he had no idea how late he was. Was he closer to the dawn or the dusk? Was the light growing or was it fading away? He was unsure.
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
His thoughts drifted to the pony who bought him the clock.
When they heard about the accident the stallion’s family made arrangements to come and visit him, but due to work and university only his mother arrived. He wasn’t there to greet her at the station, but after some wandering around a kind yellow Pegasus gave her directions to his home.
She walked past a library housed in a giant tree, and soon came upon a house matching the description the Pegasus gave her. It looked remarkably different from the houses around it in that it looked remarkably plain. Most people had decorations in their windows or on their lawn, but this was not true of the house in front of the mother. This house had no decorations and every curtain was drawn. The lawn looked as if it hadn’t been mowed in over a week, and was beginning to become overgrown.
“You know he hasn’t left his house since the accident.”
The mother turned to see a blue unicorn standing next to her. Her mane was dark blue and white; an hourglass adorned her flank.
“Who are you?”
“One of his neighbours.” The unicorn pointed at a nearby home that doubled as a dental practice. “You must be his mother”
“How could you know that?”
“He has your eyes.” The stallion’s mother indeed shared the same distinctive deep gray eyes that defined her son’s face. Her father had had those eyes too, and her grandfather as well. They ran in her family, or so it seemed at least.
“I’ll talk to him. Thank you for your concern.” She trotted up the house on the cobblestone walk. A brass knocker was attached to the front door, but no matter how often she tried it no response came. It didn’t matter however, since the door was unlocked.
She stepped into her son’s home. Not a single light was on, and all was silent except for a faint ticking coming from the upstairs bedroom. Must be the clock I got him as a wedding gift. It sounded ominous in the silent house.
“Son, it’s your mother. Are you here?” She waited a few seconds, but there was no response. Maybe he’s sleeping. She walked up to his room, the ticking sound getting louder and louder as she approached. It was the only sound that could be heard; the house was entirely silent. This is wrong; I should be able to hear something. He snores when he sleeps, and his neighbours say he hasn’t gone anywhere. Where is he? She held her breath as she opened the door into his room.
A unicorn with a blue and white mane was standing outside waiting for the mother to return. She was worried about her neighbour; he’d always been such a nice stallion, and she’d known his wife for years before he came to town. They were both such good ponies, and had really been perfect for each other. The unicorn was very sad to see one friend go; she just hoped the other one was okay.
Her thoughts were interrupted when a bloodcurdling scream came from the house. Without hesitation, she ran inside to see what was happening.
The next thing the stallion remembered was waking up in a white room with a nurse standing over him. Everything was blurry, and a white light shone above him. Am I dying?
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital, being treated for alcohol poisoning.”
“So I’m not dying then?” Anger could be detected in his voice.
“No, but you came pretty close. We found a lot of booze in your system.”
“Damn it! Who the buck brought me here? I was supposed to die!” The nurse was surprisingly calm at this outburst.
“A unicorn brought you in. She didn’t say much, just carried you in here with someone she said was your mother and told us to take care of you.”
“My mother’s here too?” Now the nurse could hear tones of worry in the stallion’s voice. She reassured him.
“Don’t worry; your mother’s fine. She just saw something that stressed her out enough that she passed out. Actually she’d like to see you.
“Fine, send her in.” The nurse left the room and soon returned with his mother in tow. She turned and began speaking to the nurse in hushed tones, who then began to whisper back. After a brief conversation the nurse left to tend to her other patients. His mother took a seat next to his bed, and both were quiet for a while.
She remembered what she saw when she walked into her son’s room. He had been lying there on his bed, motionless. There were bottles everywhere, and almost all of them were empty. She had been overwhelmed, and the next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital. The nurse had informed her of the circumstances in which they’d arrived at the hospital, as well as what her son had said upon waking up. She couldn’t guess why he’d ever try to kill himself, but there was only one way she’d find out. Finally she worked up the courage to ask.
“Son, why were you trying to kill yourself?” She normally wasn’t so direct, but it was what the situation called for. Her son was quiet for what seemed like hours before he answered.
“It was my fault.”
“What was your…”
“It’s my fault she’s dead.” His eyes were watering.
“There was nothing you could do. You know that”
“OF COURSE THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO!” He was yelling now, and tears flowed freely from his eyes. “Anything I could’ve done would’ve been better than nothing. My wife had to sacrifice herself to protect me because I couldn’t even protect myself.” His mother sat on the side of the bed now, and he cried into her shoulder. “I loved her, and I vowed to protect her. How could I’ve let this happen?”
“It’s okay.” They were hugging now. “She loved you too, and I’m sure she misses you as much as you miss her.” He was still crying.
“I love you mom.”
“I love you too, son.”
The stallion’s mother left town not long after they got out of the hospital. The stallion went back to work at Sweetapple Acres, and the red stallion he did most of his work with knew it was best not to ask him too much about where he’d been. A few months later he decided tried dating again, and to his surprise the first mare he went out with ended up being the unicorn next door. They hit it off and were marefriend and coltfriend for a while, but it didn’t work out. The stallion never loved again.
About a year after that the stallion’s mother suffered a terrible heart attack and died. He mourned her for months, but remembered that she loved him, and he loved her. That was enough to get him through anything life could throw at him.
As the stallion looked around the room, at the objects that reminded him of the best and worst times of his long life, he realized why he kept things that served only to remind him of the people he’d lost.
The old grandfather clock made him miss his mother, but reminded him of the love and comfort she gave him. When he went through one of the hardest times of his life she was there by his side, and got him through to the other side.
When he looked at the bookshelf that he never took anything off of, we was reminded of the burial in the rain, but also of the stupendous day captured in the photo he left there. He and his brother had been there for each other through thick and thin, and they were two of the closest friends in Equestria.
And the picture on his nightstand, from the end of his honeymoon in Canterlot, brought a pang of sadness, but also the warm he felt each night from being close to her. Whenever he lay next to her, he had been content, and that assurance let him sleep easy.
He looked around again, at the objects that served much more purpose than he had realized before. He could feel the joy he’d felt each day in his youth with his brother. The feeling of love and caring received from his mother returned again, and a feeling of contented assurance could be felt in his heart. Looking back, the most important thing he could say about his life is that it was worth living.
Nopony could ask for more than that.
And so, with the ticking of the clock in his ear and his memories in his heart, he slept.
You just gotta walk that path again, and you can smile, smile, smile.
-Memory Lane by Jason Kennett
