A Broken Moon's Man

by BATCAN

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Adventure, Sex, Random, Dark, Human, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3149

My name is Derric. Im a human that was just enjoying his normal every day humany things when somehow I got teleported to a magic land of talking ponies. How much better will it get when i am forced to live with a princess and how do i hide my past???

My name is Derrick. I was a average human on his morning jog when suddenly I was shoved off of a bridge and ended up in Equestria. A few months after meeting Twilight Sparkle and her friends along with a few others, They decide I'm a bit of a hermit. I mean really people~! Twilight gets to study all day but I cant relax and stay home all day alone? Anyways, They decided to fix my little "Problem" by having the princess of the night move in with me because apparently she did something rather.....surprising to say the least. especially for a princess! Anyways, She still cant know about my past....noone-pony. Nopony can know....

Special thanks to Dundundun for helping me tweak the idea a bit and helped me out with some of the chapters here and there. He was also a big help finding the idea. Anywhoodles, I just wanted to say a thanks to him for helping me. This is my first attempt at writing any time of fan fiction and actually going through with posting it. Hey we all start somewhere right? Hope you all enjoy!

(Ps.- Dark tag due to Derricks dark past, and Sex tag is for the future)

Published 2015-04-21 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-08 23:34:36 UTC

Chapter 1

Author's Note

Please keep in mind for now and the future that anything in blue text as so is Luna's thoughts and anything with yellow words like this are Derricks thoughts. This is going to make things much simpler and make it to where its not just saying "Luna thought" or "derrick thought" through the story. Sorry for the inconvenience of a Pre Read guys. Hope you enjoy!

(Ps.- you can expect the next chapter by about Friday of next week, if not Saturday of this week!)

Chapter 1

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I woke up to an annoyingly familiar beeping. Ugh. I just want ten minutes for myself after twilights special "Poker Slumber Party" last night. Glad I could sneak out of there...even if I don't remember how...All well. Note to self though...avoid alcohol and Rainbow Dash at the same time. Derrick thought to himself as he slammed his fist down on the alarm clock, effectively silencing it, and turned back over to his stomach before closing his eyes and trying to drift back to sleep.

He was invited to Twilight's library last night at about two in the evening yesterday for "urgent business" as Twilight called it, however when he arrived he found all of his friends completely shit-face drunk and found a certain purple scaled assistant of twilights getting frisky on Rarity. This was a bit of a shocker to me because Rarity seemed to be egging him on and NOT trying to stop him in any way, shape or form. After wondering around for a bit and finding twilight hiding in her room trying to sleep, she said that she thought I should try to make some friends. I tried to tell her I preferred the solitude of my humble abode, but she quickly shot down the idea of me being a loner for the rest of my life and even called me a hermit. I might like to not leave my house unless I need to for food or something or maybe to go to the local gym, but that didn't mean I was a hermit. We argued for a while, but ultimately twilight had a point when she said that I was probably going to die alone. She then tried to tell me to get a special some pony, but I quickly shot that idea down considering that I'm not into being in a relation ship after what happened last time. She tried to convince me, but eventually threatened to turn me into a balloon and give me to Pinkie Pie if I didn't at least get a roommate. I agreed and then I remember Twilight asking me if I wanted a drink, but everything after that was a blur.

My thoughts were stopped when I heard a loud knocking. Someone was at the door, but I couldn't be bothered. At least I wouldn't have been before a purple bolt of magic shot through the window and almost hit me in the face. That got me up real quickly seeing as I bolted to the closet and yelled "I'm up! Cease fire! CEASE FIRE DAMNIT!" Then I heard a voice that I hoped I wouldn't for the day.

"Open up Derrick, we need to talk. Now!" It was Twilight.

I sighed and slipped on some light green sweat pants and a tight black muscle shirt, courtesy of Rarity, over my form and made my way to the door. As I unlocked it, Twilight bolted in and slammed the door into the only thing in the way, my toe. Needles to say I might have screamed a few.....ok a lot of obscenities to the world as my toe throbbed in pain before Twilight used a spell and the pain was instantly gone. I let out a sigh of relief and glared at the purple unicorn mare with a dark purple mane and tail that was accented by a light purple and pink stripe down the center of it. She just smiled sheepishly at me and scraped a fore hoof at the floor boards.

"Heh...sorry. Thought you would be up considering that it's about four in the evening." This made you glare harden at the unicorn.

"That's not why I'm upset Sparkly butt. Your paying for the window...again. I mean how hard is it to just tap on it or something? Come on Twi! This makes the third time this week."

This caused twilight to raise her head and look at me with an expression of glee on her face as she responded. "Well if it makes you feel any better I have some good news this time! And I don't mean the type of news like last night...well kinda." Turns out that I found out a pony who is looking for a roommate like yourself and I told her you would let her stay with you for maybe one or two...maybe three....years...at least."

As she said that, my eyes grew to the size of golf balls and my breath caught in my throat. "T-twilight....did you just say......t-three years....at -least?" She responded with a slow nod of the head. "T-twi...I'm just want you to know....I'm going to get payback while your sleeping..." I said as I rubbed my temples.

"What!? You cant do that! We had a deal! You said you would get a roommate last night! Not fair Derrick. Your breaking your promise!" She said with a huff as she plopped down on the floor and crossed her fore hooves and made an adorable pouting face, even for a pony.

"Yes twilight. I said, and I quote, 'I agree to find a roommate by the end of this month.' I never said that YOU could find me a roommate. Besides twi. Your version of a 'cool' roommate is princess Celestia. You like people who study all the time. In short, you pick egg heads."

Just as I finished with a smug grin and a huff to show that I had won the argument, I heard another voice behind me that made my heart skip a beat. It was a sweet voice that had a soft, maternal glow to it.

"I don't think I'm an egg head, and surely I do more then study." Twilight had a smug grin plastered on her face as my eyes shrank to pinpricks and I slowly turned to see Princess Celestia standing right in front of me with a similar smug grin on her mussel. "Anyways," She started as her grin started to fall back into her usual soft hearted smile. "I hear you have been looking for a roommate, correct?"

Uh oh.... Ok. Just keep cool. This is all just a prank by Pinkie. She always seems to be pulling these sort of things. Yea, that's it! Any second now she will jump out and yell 'gotcha!' or something. Derrick started to worry when no pink mass had erupted from thin air as she usually does.

"Well?" Celestia said with a knowing look. "Would you like to meet your new roommate?"

"S-s-sure." Derrick stuttered. He was nervous. He didn't know what to think about the princess showing up at HIS doorstep and asking if he wanted to meet someone. Let alone a new roommate. "S-so...where is he?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"She will be here in about three...two...one..." Celestia said with extra enthuses on the "she". Then, out of nowhere, a bright blue flash momentarily blinded me. After my eyes had stopped burning from the flash, I opened them to see a thought I thought would never happen.

Standing in front of me was Princess Luna. Princess of the Night and Co-Ruler of Equestria. Now if your wondering why this is such a shock, let me enlighten you. I am a gamer. Naturally I am a nocturnal person. I like to stay up late and binge while watching all kinds of movies and playing video games that I acquired after Discord, the god of chaos and disharmony himself, had set me up after he was reformed so we could play together considering we were two of the three who had the consoles. The third owner however, Discord had chosen to keep a secret out of a request.

"Hello Tia. Twilight. And...other." said the midnight blue alicorn with a starry blue mane and tail that seemed to flow in the non-existent wind that was blowing through the air. It was speckled with what looked to be small white stars. She had beautiful blue eyes and stood at about my hight while most of the ponies were about to my chest or neck, and Celestia was about a head taller then me. My jaw completely dropped at the alicorn's appearance. She. Was. Beautiful.

She must have noticed my dumbfounded expression because she covered her mouth with a hoof and let out a small giggle at my expence which was quite possibly one of the most adorable things I have ever- Wait a second! No! I do NOT think of ponies that way! Taboo I say, TABOO!!!

Then there was a hard thud as I might have fainted and fell backwards which would have been okay...if twilight wasn't standing there. She yelped as my unconscious body pinned her to the floor and struggled to get away, to which the two princesses just burst out into a full on giggle fit. That was all I remember as the last of my control was sapped away by the soft caress of unconsciousness...along with a small temper tantrum from the purple mare trapped under me. Eh, I'll worry about it later.

Chapter 2

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3

Author's Note

DISCLAIMER: The song used in this chapter is not my property nor do I lay any sort of claims to it. It is the work of another and is optional for the emerson of the story, little as it provides. It is one of my favorite songs personally and I give them full credit.

This means don't sue me people. :rainbowlaugh: just being safe here because I've never really written or produced anything before and didn't want to make a mistake and stuff

Anywhoodles~! I wanted to say that I will be continuing this story! Yaaay!!!
*que the cheers of all of my "adoring fans"(don't look into that totally legit)*

However! The production may be slow. Possibly one chapter a week or one chapter a month or so.
What can I say guys? I am a busy rocket scientist and socialite that has a lot of important work to do!

...actually I'm just a lazy introvert that loves to procrastinate but still!

Love ya mean it tho so don't be mad at me pleeeeeeease~? :derpytongue2:

See you guys next time!

Chapter 3

Derrick's eyes slowly opened and he glanced at the clock on his nightstand, taking in the fact that he had woken up at nine in the morning. Again.

He had not a clue why but for whatever reason since he had arrived in this place he had always woken up at nine sharp unless he was hurt badly, sick, hungover or drugged. Yup. Still haven't forgiven that Lyra mare for that attempt.

Brushing his thoughts away he gave a groan as he rolled off the bed, smashing into the floor and laying there motionlessly face down on the black carpet of his bedroom floor for a moment.

I feel a disturbance in the force...... Note to self. Watch for rainbow dash and pinkie today. Derrick had come to evolve a sixth sense of sorts over his time here. That sense did two things. The first was it would alert him of when the pink party pony of paradox perplexing power would appear out of nowhere, and the second is it would give him a general idea of when a prank was coming his way.

He pushed himself off of the floor and shuffled down the hall to his kitchen, letting out a yawn as he got busy. He gathered eggs and milk from the fridge, dropping them on the kitchen island before grabbing bread and cinnamon from the counter. He grabbed a bowl and a large plate as well before he got to work.

He started the process of making breakfast by cracking eggs into the bowl, cracking around five in total. Once that was finished he poured just a little bit of milk into the bowl as well as adding a decent bit of cinnamon. He mixed the concoction well, making a yellow-white liquid with a slightly brown tint to it before putting a frying pan on the stove and a bit of butter to melt onto it.

While he waited for the pan to get hot and buttered up he idly strolled to his speaker in the corner of the room, switching it on and hooking up his iPhone, one of few things kept from his old home, to the device and hitting the shuffle button on his music app.

Within seconds a familiar melody began to fill his ears and he smiled at the fact that out of over a thousand songs, his favorite had been chosen.

He set back to work as the familiar music began to play, taking a piece of bread and drenching it in the mixture before laying it in the frying pan to cook as he sang along to the song.

A hiss filled blended with the music as the food began to cook. He flipped the food and prepared another piece, dipping the bread in the mixture and repeating the process until he had a large plate of cooked french toast stacking fifteen pieces high.

He smiled at his work and got the milk out of the fridge and sitting in on the table.

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought his attention to his new roommate as she walked into the kitchen smiling and sat down at the table.

"Good morning Derrick." She said, smiling sweetly and giggling slightly. "You possess a very talented voice."

I blushed slightly p, realizing now that yesterday had in fact not been a dream and that I now had a roommate.

He groaned and grabbed two later as well as two glasses, pouring milk into both of them and putting half of the stack of food on one plate and sitting it in front of said smirking blue pony princess as well as a glass of milk. "No comment." He joked as he sat across from her with the other half of the meal.

The two began eating and chatting over simple things such as local news, the town and the ponies that stayed here.

"So your telling me that you don't leave this house at all unless it's for supplies?" Luna said with a look of disbelief on her face.

I nodded. "Pretty much. That and for the occasional pinkie pie party or because twilight made me."

She stared at me dumbfounded. "What do you do all day then?! Surly it must get boring doing the same activities all the time?" She asked to which I smirked.

"I play games." I said. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"What kind of games?" She asked, to which my smirk grew.

I stood and gathered the now empty dishes and carried them to the sink, beginning to wash the as. I continued the conversation. "Just some games I got from discord as a gift after he was reformed to make me feel more at home. There are only three in the entire universe that I know of, though I only know of two of the owners." I said.

Luna's reaction was far from what I had expected however as her jaw seemed to drop. I looked at her in confusion for a second before she responded.

"YOU ARE THE THIRD PLAYER?!" She shouted. It was my jaw's turn to hit the ground.

"Your the other owner?" I squeaked to whichever she nodded. After I had wrapped my head around that thought I shook my head and walked to the living room. "What are the chances..." I mumbled as I plopped down on the couch. Luna soon following my example and plopping beside me.

After a moment of silence she glared at me and punched me in the arm. "That was for cheating when we were playing pony fortress two a few nights ago." She said as I rubbed my arm and laughed.

"Your just jealous that you can't be as good a pyro as me. It takes a truly talented mind set to perfect the class." I gloated to which she glared at me.

"You simply burn things and taunt me as if you were a foal!" She shouted, causing me to laugh even more.

"I never said I was mature." I giggled. She huffed and crossed her hooves, giving a small pout that made my chest warm.

I brushed off the feeling and stood from the couch.

"Where are you going?" She asked, watching me as I walked down the hall.

"To get naked." I shouted back as I walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and turning on the shower.

I stripped and stepped into the barrage of hot water, a sigh escaping my lips and a small smile growing on my face as I felt my muscles relaxing. I quickly cleaned myself, washing my hair and body before stepping out of the shower and drying myself on a fluffy white towel. I wrapped the towel around my waist and left the room, turning down the hall and running right into Luna.

We each fell, Luna falling backwards and we falling on top of her. I quickly jumped off, crawling backwards with a slight blush on my face.

"S-sorry luna. I wasn't paying attention." I apologized. "It is fine Derrick. We were not paying attention as we-" she said, cutting off towards the end with a bright blush covering her cheeks. I watched in confusion for a moment, tracing her line of sight to the thing that had captured her sight only to find my towel not covering my privates.

A dark blush covered my face entirely as I promptly froze in embarrassment, my body refusing to respond to my movements for a brief moment before I squeaked and jumped to my feet, sprinting down the hall and into my room before slamming my door and pressing my back against it with a bright red blush.

A moment later a small knock was heard at my door. "D-Derrick? I apologize for that incident b-but um.... N-never mind! S-sorry again." She said before the sound of hoof steps leaving down the hall filled my ears.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and face palmed. i can't believe I just flashed the princess....

I sighed as I set about getting dressed. It was gonna be a long day.

Chapter 4

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.