427 years ago, I was Discord; Chaos Guardian of Equestria. And 2,269 years ago, I was Discord; Tyrant Ruler of Equestria. But...5,109 years ago, I was something much worse. I was known as Discord; Beast of the Destructive Chaos Magic.
‘The Beast’ as I call it, was something that I never want to go back to. When I was like that, my magic did not consist of chocolate rainclouds, long legged bunnies, and floating upside-down houses. Oh no, I used my powers for much viler things. I would bend and twist, and torture any living thing, just to see how long it could survive. I would warp, morph, and mesh creatures together, and create suicidal abominations, just for a quick laugh. I enjoyed ripping the heads off of creatures, but keeping the head alive long enough to make it watch it’s headless body scramble around in panic, before dropping lifelessly to the ground. I would make ponies cry as much as I could, then drown them in a tank of their own tears.
I was Satan, who was playing God.
That old me was a savage and horrifying beast. I cannot even recall how I managed to escape that twisted mindset that I had been trapped in. Even though I had turned into a tyrant, soon after that, at least it was better than being that…thing. Eventually, I was struck down by Celestia and Luna; encased in stone with time to think about the error of my ways. Not that I did. As soon as I was free, I tried once more to rule Equestria with my mismatched iron fists!
But I failed.
Once again struck down. But instead of it being the two most powerful beings in Equestria, I was encased in stone once more, by six…teeny tiny little ponies.
Quite a blow to the ego indeed.
Thoughts creeped into the back of my mind, as I sat in my marbleized prison. I wanted to destroy their homes with floods made from chocolate rain. I wanted to take the Pegasi wings and put them on the Unicorns, then take their horns and put them on the Earth Ponies, and watch them as they tried to control their magic, and fail. I wanted to mush them all together into one pony, and watch their personalities clash, fighting each other to control one body. I wanted to turn them into savage animals, and watch them tear each other to shreds. I wanted to snap their necks and chuck their ragdoll bodies into every mountain, every cliff side, and every canyon, until they were nothing but mushy piles of shredded flesh. I wanted to rip out their esophagi, and use them as bendy straws to drink their own blood.
I wanted to be that monster.
They were fools to release me from the stone. I would’ve struck them down, then and there, if Celestia and Luna weren’t standing there. Celestia greeted me with a warm smile, but the other…well, her horn was loaded and ready to go. Celestia made a deal with me; If I behave like a good little draconequus, I would earn my freedom, and their trust. It was a deal I couldn’t refuse. It was going to be far too easy. Earn their trust, then destroy them later. It was a simple, fool proof plan.
Until Fluttershy came along.
Remember those six annoying little ponies that imprisoned me the second time? She was one of them. What gets me though, is out of all the others, she was the soft spoken one. The gentle one. The SCAREDY one.
And she was going to be the one to make me behave.
That was what her friends and the Princesses agreed on. I would live with her, and she’d use her…kindness…to make me nice or something along those lines. I nodded in agreement, but laughed on the inside. I was going to break her, bit by bit, until she was nothing but a pile of a shattered spirit. However,
She ended up breaking me.
Well, maybe I shouldn’t say ‘break’ me. She did what Celestia said she would do. Reform me. She cared about me, even when the others feared me, and despised me.
And they had a right to.
Either way, once I had made a bond with her, I knew that I didn’t want to lose it. Even when Tirek had tricked me, I didn’t want any harm to come to her. And when I had messed up…when I had came so close to turning back into ‘The Beast’, she still stayed by my side. So, it was easy to love her. And no, not in a ‘Beauty and The Beast’ kind of way. I cared for her. I cared for her so much. I did everything to right my wrongs, to bring myself to the side of good, for good. And of course, I was delighted to know that the Elements of Harmony made them semi-immortal. I would now have Fluttershy and the others around or a very long time. It took a very long time, but after hundreds of years, I made myself a better being, a guardian of society and Equestria as a whole. When I went to battle, nothing could stop me so long as I had my friends. I was feeling on top, and life was going fantastic.
Until Fluttershy died…
When she died, I was never the same. I began to walk around with a scary calmness surrounding me. The citizens of Equestria weren’t afraid of me. They thought that I was in mourning. And to be truthful, I was. The closest friend that I had ever had since I was created, had died. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Either way, my behavior change didn’t go unnoticed. The Princesses and the other Element Bearers feared me. They knew what I could be. They knew how dangerous I was. And, in their fear, they banished me from not just Equestria, but from the plane of existence that they resided in.
So now, I stood in the darkness, at the edge of their world, looking at them. I was also standing on the edge of my already frayed sanity…but there was a strand of hope that they would let me gain entrance back into Equestria.
They never did.
So, I wandered around in the black, depressing void that they trapped me in. And in my wanderings, I had stumbled upon a mirror. Once I found it, I became bonded with it, without my will. I was drawn to it, no matter where I was in the darkness. The mirror showed the real me; the savage looking animal that I was so long ago. A more terrifying version of myself, with sharper fangs and claws, far more twisted horns, and beaten, shredded wings that outstretched and could encompass small towns in their shadows. And his eyes, nothing but a soul sucking shade of black. That creature in the mirror didn’t answer to the same name as me. He answered to ‘Truth’. And right now, Truth and I were about to have a little chat.
“Did you have fun?” Truth questioned in a growly voice.
“Did I have fun with what?” I questioned back.
“Did you have fun watching the traitors live out their lives?”
I locked my jaw shut and stayed silent.
Truth tilts his head to the side, “I take it that’s a no?”
I still refuse to give him a response.
“Don’t ignore me. That’s rude…”
“It was never about me having fun, you know.” I finally answer him.
“I know that. It’s about what you want to do to them.”
“I want to be with them.” I correct him.
He smiled, bearing his unnaturally pearly white fangs in the process, “No you don’t. You don’t have to lie to me. You can’t.”
I glance away from the mirror for a second. I can feel my heart start to thunder in my chest.
“You want to hurt them, don’t you? You want to make them suffer for all the pain they have caused you. Don’t you?”
“No.” I quickly reply with a snappy tone in my voice.
“Yes you do. Because I want to make them hurt. I want to make them suffer. And I am YOU. I want whatever YOU want.”
I avert my gaze elsewhere.
“It’s been so long since we’ve had blood. Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss the way it slides between our fingers? Don’t you miss the way it tastes?” he hissed out the last part.
No answer from me.
“Don’t you miss the terrified screams of those who feared you? Don’t you miss using that unstoppable power that courses through your veins?” Truth shrugged, “I mean, sure, you used your powers here and there, but never to their full extent anymore. It’s not the same, is it?”
I slowly shook my head, “I don’t miss it.”
“Oh, you don’t? You don’t miss that power? You liar. I saw it in your dreams. I saw it whenever you looked in a mirror. Back then, when the light of the world kept me from speaking out, and from you being able to see me. I could see the blackness and wickedness creeping at the corners of your eyes. I could see my eyes through your own. And my eyes? Well...we both know they’re your real eyes. These are the eyes of a monster. A beast that craves flesh and is parched for blood. So, let’s do what’s best, and let me out.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I look away from him, “Because…I’m…”
Truth flicked his tail in annoyance, “You’re what, Discord?”
“I’m afraid of you.”
There was suddenly a dead weight that fell on the both of us. Truth tugged on his beard in thoughtful silence for a few moments, before settling his burning gaze to the ground,
“You’re a fucking fool.”
I glare back at him, my ears pinned against my head in anger, “How so?!”
“YOU’RE AFRAID OF SOMETHING YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN!!”
I flinched at the ferocity of his tone.
“Look at the facts, my friend. Ever since you have came into existence, you have had a craving for flesh and blood, and all the destruction you get to create to get it. You were spawned of the darkness, of all the wickedness, and given the purpose to destroy without a moment’s hesitation. It beats through your heart, courses through your veins, and surges through your nerves. Have you forgotten who you were before that mare came around?”he held his jagged talon hand up to keep Discord from interrupting him, “Don’t get me wrong though. I cared for Fluttershy as well. As I’ve said before, you and I are one. But she did not destroy me. She did not tame me. She couldn’t, and she didn’t even try to. I have a feeling that deep down, she knew what you were too. She saw that the power you possessed, was not of their world. Not from the world that your so called ‘friends’ reside in. She simply didn’t want you to let me out. And you didn’t out of your love for her. But now, she is gone, and you no longer have the only pony in that world, who truly cared for you".
“The others showed me love too.”
“They did now?!” Truth wore an evil frown, “Then tell me, why are you here?! Why are you locked away in this void?!”
“Because…” my gaze fell. “I’m a monster…”
“Exactly. You’re a monster. You’re a monster, and they knew that. Did you think they didn’t notice the small smile you would have, every time a mission required the death of somepony? The smirk that would plant itself on your face, before you inflicted pain? No matter how much you try to deny it, you love doing those things. And they knew, with Fluttershy gone, there was nothing to keep you from unleashing that violent energy. So…let me out, now.”
I don’t want to look back up at him. He was right. I am a monster. I will always be a monster. Even if they were to allow me back into Equestria, things would never be the same. They will never fully trust me. And, with all the time I’ve spent locked away in this dark hellhole,
I’d never trust them either.
They would continue to be afraid of me. Future generations would be taught to hate me, just as they did long ago. My life would never be the same. Truth placed his furry paw up against the glass,
“If they’re going to treat you like a monster, then you might as well act like one.”
I turn my gaze back to him. I’m determined now. I will let him have this body. All traces of the kindness and gentleness that Fluttershy taught me, would be lost in the process, that much I was sure of. Not that it mattered anyway. There was no point in keeping this personality, so long as I was trapped here. I step forward towards the glass, and Truth gave me one of the most wicked sneers that I have ever seen in my life.
“Yes…let me out…let me ease your pain and sorrows. Revenge has an amazing flavor. I bet you can already taste it now…”
I press my talons to the glass. It was extremely warm. Truth looks up at me. The schlera of his eyes are yellow, and his pupils are shining red, just like mine. His smile stretches across his face, and he reaches through the mirror. His paw clamps around my body. It was much bigger than I thought they were. I had forgotten how large in stature I was when I was ‘The Beast’. He had rendered me immobile, and I began to panic.
“Don’t be afraid to fulfill your purpose.” He pulled me closer, “Now, open wide!!”
In my rising fear, I don’t react quickly enough to satisfy him. He gave me a sharp squeeze, causing me to yelp out. In that moment, his body melts into black magic that shoots into my mouth. There was a deafening ‘WHOOSH’ sound as I felt evil slip past my teeth and slide down my throat. When it was done, a warm feeling began to bubble inside me that was getting hotter and hotter by the second. The heat wasn’t painful. It was amazing. This power…it was amazing!” I could feel this overwhelming amount of energy flowing through my veins. It felt as if there was too much power within me. I walk over to the mirror and look in it. I was once again the savage monster from long ago. The blackened eyes glittered with delight. I had far too much strength to keep inside. I needed to let it out.
I needed to get out.
I sprint towards the only source of light in this void. I was going to be free. My body slams into the invisible barrier that covered the entrance back into their plane of existence. I bang furiously against the barrier. The Mane 5 and the Princesses gallop over to the entrance. Twilight steps closer to the glass than the others, giving me a sorrowful look. I hate it. I hate that fucking look of false pity. I wanted to rip the skin of her face off, so that she couldn’t give me that look ever again. In fact, that was going to be the first thing I do. I glare at her,
“Let me out!” I snarl out in a commanding tone.
“We can’t let you out!” she shouted at me. “We knew this was going to happen to you, Discord!”
I roared out in frustration, and slammed my talon fist against the barrier,
“You all made me this way!! You trapped me in here, with no valid reason!!” I bang on it again. “And because of that, all of Equestria is going to pay for your misdeed!!"
For some reason, none of them reply to me, and it only pisses me off even more. I start using both fists to bang on the glass now. It starts to crack from the abuse. Twilight and the others start to back away from it.
“I…will…be…FREE!!”
The barrier finally shatters under my might. My power boils to new levels, and my vision goes red, as I let the monster inside me back out. I would once again be Discord; The Beast of the Destructive Chaos Magic.
Oh, how great it is to be me...
