I stood in Canterlot palace, patiently awaiting my turn to see the Princesses. For the fifteenth time I read over the summons order I had received that morning.

“Count Fielder, We have a special assignment for you. Come to the palace at once. Signed, Celestia Dawn-Bringer & Luna Dream-Walker, Princesses of Equestria.”

I folded the paper up and placed it into my pocket when the day-guard waved me through. Celestia was leaning over a magical map on a table in the center of the room (giving me more than an eyeful of her copious cleavage as she did so. gotta love toga-dresses) while Luna stood next to her with a grim expression. I stood at ease and softly coughed to gain their attention. While I’d initially been annoyed at having to wear my dress uniform again, when Luna has an expression that grim….Bad shit’s happening.

Celestia looked up and gave me a tired smile. “Ah, Brandon. Just the man we’ve been waiting for. There’s been trouble.” she stated matter-of-factly.

“It’s SchweineLand. They’ve been bullying many smaller countries on their borders into capitulation” Luna said as I leaned over the map. It looked like a topographical map, but all the different nations had their own colour. Schweineland was grey, Equestria was Royal blue, etc. Many smaller nations on the map were being covered by Schweineland’s grey. Grainland, Home of the fowl-folk was conquered. The Fortresses of the mountain Goats were holding, but with the fertile valleys below under schweine control, they would not last. Pack-istan, Home of the diamond dogs, had a border that seemed to shift and move. It wasn’t long until I realized they were fighting.

“You understand the situation now, correct?” Asked Celestia staring expectantly at me. I nodded. Her shoulders slumped. “I believe you also know that the royal guard is unprepared for….War…”She said, almost unable to spit out such an abhorrent word. (Yeah, I can talk fancy as fuck sometimes, roll with it)

“From what I’ve seen, the guard is more of a police force than a military.” I replied. Celestia Nodded.

“That is what we wanted them to be. After the war with nightmare moon, I couldn’t bring myself to fight another. Too many of my little ponies were killed. It breaks my heart to know that all that time working towards peace has been shattered by one greedy king.” She said, her head sinking and shoulders sagging. Luna walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Celestia smiled appreciatively.

“Now, that brings us to why we’ve called you here. As you know, we made you a noble for several reasons. Firstly, to keep an eye on you. second, so that your constant visitation of the royal palace is unquestioned, and lastly, but no less important, To help the cervi populace. They look up to you as their savior, and having you in command has eased some of the tension between the residents of Ponyville and the refugees. We have learned that we can trust you.” Celestia nodded at Luna who stepped forward and motioned for me to kneel.

“I, Princess Luna, Ruler of the night, Declare you an officer of the Night Guard. You are Placed in command of The first special task force in the royal guard. Henceforth, you shall be in charge of protecting Equestria from the unseen and unnatural. Rise, and accept the symbol of your new station.” Luna said, placing a hand on the top of my head. When I stood, she offered me a symbol, a blood red crescent moon entwined with a black sun with golden lettering that said ‘Royal Agent’.

Celestia smiled. “Come. We have some gifts for you, and some people to meet.” She said as she strolled through a side door in the throne room.Luna and I followed, before coming to armor on a stand. It was full plate in a dark, Old-looking grey. a ragged purple cloak hung from the shoulders by simple golden clasps, but it was otherwise unadorned. All in all, it looked more like the armor of an experienced mercenary than a noble. There was also a kite shield with a simple purple background with a golden dragon painted onto it. Before I could react, Celestia’s horn flashed, and I was wearing the armor. Unfortunately, it was fucking heavy, and All of that weight was suddenly on me. I fell to the floor as both Princesses snickered.

“Oh, dear. He seems to have fainted from happiness” Luna Cracked.

“Ha-ha. Very funny Princess. Thanks for the armor though.” I replied.

“All jokes aside, you have to meet your team. Each and every one of them is a special case like yourself.” Celestia said, giving me a sad smile. She led me back into the throne room before waving over a guard who nodded and left the room. A short time later he returned with five people. The first one Was a beautiful, red-headed thestral with crimson Irises. I noticed She wore huge, round, glasses as she walked around me.

“Princess...Is this to be my new master? He looks so… Weak. she said as she turned to look at Luna. Luna just grinned.

“Maybe you should look again, Gauze. As you well know appearances can be deceiving.” she said.

“Ha. I doubt this Human has more surprises than m-EEP!” said gauze, as she turned around, only to be met with my leering skull and glowing eyes mere inches from her face. Luna and Celestia giggled as the mare collected herself. Luna’s horn lit up and a glowing bottle of my medicine floated over to me. (You see, when I force myself to change, It overrides the medicine, meaning I have to take it again, ugh.) I took the bottle like a shot, grimacing at the taste. Gauze extricated herself from the ceiling and flew down to me.

“Er...Hi. I’m Crimson gauze. I’ve been assigned as team medic, and as your first servant. It is a pleasure to meet you master.” she said giving me a smile. I noticed she had fangs.

“....Servant?” I said, sending Luna a confused look. She just smiled.

“Your team doesn’t officially exist, as you’ll be solving delicate problems of supernatural origins. This is so that my sister, Twilight, Cadence, and I can focus on readying Equestria for war. As such, your team will also function as your manor’s staff.” she said.

“What about the other elements of harmony?” I asked, slightly confused.

“They will continue to solve the problems the map gives them. however, I would like you to have your guard force trained soon. I would be much more at ease if they had Protection. Also, be prepared to foray into schweine territory. We need as much time as we can possibly get, so you and your team will be sent to harass and delay their plans. We are not at war yet...But we have no doubt we are next on the list of targets. Now, go meet the rest of your team.” Said Celestia, shooing me away so she could return to the map. Poor girl...so much weight on those shoulders.

I walked towards the rest of my new subordinates. Idly noting that they are all attractive females. I cocked an eyebrow at the Princesses, who shrugged.

“male-female ratio of the world is skewed. It’s especially noticeable in Equestria.” Luna said. I still felt like they were trying to push me towards romance, or trolling me, but I let it slide.

“Greta Steelwing, At your service m’lord” said the second of the five, A griffon Female with Eyes as black as coal.Her feathers were mottled white, and she was apparently very athletic. While Crimson could definitely fill a c-cup, Greta barely Rated an A. The third was a massive minotaur female named Milly. However, her stature only seemed to enhance her feminine attributes. (Double D’s and she got a booty….Not that it was important to me at the time eheh.) Her scottish accent was very thick, and I needed to relocate my arm after her handshake. The fourth was a Grey unicorn mare, with silvery eyes. Beautiful as she was, something seemed off about her. Very deep in the uncanny valley. Her name was Willow wisp (Large-C, and legs that would make marilyn monroe jealous) . Finally, Another thestral. Something about her screamed lust and sensuality, even though she was not the most endowed of the group. She was slightly Flighty, but seemed to be able to hold it together. Her name was Moonlight Serenade. Little did I know, how special my special unit was, until my first night back at the mansion.

Author's Note

Question, What do you folks think Brandon's theme song is?

Exxaxxion's been a bit busy, so no editor quote this time. Check out his new story though
Kraken in Manehatten.