"Блядь!" shouted a Stallion in an ushanka, trenchcoat, and cavalry boots as he drilled the ponyville recruits in the art of warfare. He was a grayish white, Like sooty snow, and his eyes were steel colored, matching perfectly with his rugged, scarred face as he shouted at the would be troops in both his own tongue and English. His name was Petyr Trotsky, And I'd hired the grizzled Stalliongrad vet to train my fledgling force for the coming war.

I looked back down at the table I was working on, which was filled with paperwork and sighed.

"Requisition forms, Experimental weapons, Injury reports, Medical Briefs, What is all this bullshit?" I groaned Wishing inwardly that I could truly die just to get away from the incessant paperwork. Hell, I'd have been happy just to be with the rest of the troops, drilling and training. Especially since I was trying something never seen before. I'd split my regiment four ways: Light Infantry, Armed with bow and Other light weapons; Heavy infantry, With large shields, Armor, and assorted spears and weapons fit for standing your ground; Experimental Infantry, Armed with a close approximation to the breach loading sharps rifle, and an assortment of ammunition from mundane lead Minie balls to Weaponized Gems imbued with magic; And finally, Aerial cavalry. Pegasi Were given a light cuirass and wing armor, A saber, and a bulky-but-functional Revolver. (As it turns out, ponies were already using rifled muskets, and their engineers were quite fond of the idea of breach-loaders and self contained ammo, and quizzed me relentlessly on what I could remember from my interest in the American civil war.)

"It's a part of the job, uncle. See that it is filled out properly." Said Aderyn from across the picnic table, his head buried in another ledger. I'd always hated the bureaucracy, but Addy had taken to it easily...and continually made my life hell in order to make sure it was up to date. As my Aide, he'd gotten Rarity to design a uniform for him. It looked fancy and had too much gold, white and purple for my taste, But it quickly became the adopted uniform of the regiment. At least for parade purposes. It was made of a purple waistcoat with golden brass Buttons, White shirt, White pants with different colored lines down the side depending on which Company they belonged to. and Different hats for each. It was frankly Ostentatious and a bit more than I'd have liked, But Apparently it was really simple compared to the attire worn by other regiments. Rifles and pistols roared in the training field as The Experimental Company and Air cav practiced with their new weapons. I felt torn between calling Them Dragoons or just leaving it as cav. Either way it was amazing to watch them work. They'd make a diamond formation in the sky before diving from great heights, Firing their pistols into the crowd of Mannequins below, before leveling off with a rebel yell and lashing out with saber and wingblade.

"Yeah, Yeah, Addy. I'll Get it done. Sheesh kid, Thought having a family would be more fun" I pouted, my eyes drifting off towards the Experimentals. Two rows of ponies Fired a volley of regular rounds, Putting many holes in the dummies before them and the brick wall behind, and then reloaded, the slight glow in each of their hands as they did so evidence they were using gem rounds. Another volley, and the Dummies were awash in a sea of elemental magic. Fire swirled with lightning and Ice in a devastating assault, leaving most mannequins destroyed. I cringed a bit at the sight. I may be a vengeful, Ghoulish monster from 2 milleni ago, but nobody deserved that.

It hadn't ended well for the ponies firing either, as some rolled on the ground, their hands burnt, frozen or just writhing in agony after being electrocuted, their expensive rifles lying ruined in the dirt. Sgt Trotsky was upon them in under a second, Chewing out their leaders while the injured were led to the clinic. One unfortunate pony had his rank torn from is uniform and was ordered off the training site. Another overeager officer candidate loses his military career over a dumb decision. I would not tolerate that kind of behavior though. The gems weren't even supposed to be issued yet, let alone Fired.

"Fucking dumbass...Got good ponies injured by playing stupid games. " I muttered to which Aderyn sighed.

"Uncle...I know you're worried about them, but must you be so harsh in their training?" Addy Asks, wincing as Trotsky picks up a stallion and uses him to hit another stallion after bothe accidentally drop their swords.

"IS GOING TO BE BEATING STUPID мудак wITH OTHER STUPID мудак!" The grey stallion shouts with insane glee as he pummels the two.

I wince but before I could answer, Greta, Walks up behind me and leans on the table.

"Combat is not pleasant. Being this harsh ensures more of these guys and gals survive a real fight. Oh yeah, sure, the bezerker in me loves it, But When I snap out of it...Makes me sick." She says with a shudder. Addy looks down, sighing and nodding, his own experiences being a poignant reminder of what we're up against. The grim mood is broken By the shrill blaring of the bugle, signalling that it was time for the soldiers to return to the barracks. Trotsky, Who was staying in my mansion, Came over, a grin on his face.

"These guyz is good soldiers. they will be becomings unstoppable with proper Stalliongrad training. Had to beat less senseless today" The Stallion beamed proudly when his troops were out of sight. He was actually a nice guy, but he made this terrifying persona to instill fear and stress into the trainees. It would keep them alive later if they got used to it now.

"Ah,Sgt! Right on time! You have several forms to fill out concerning today's....Accident on the firing range, as well as a roster to update, If you'll come with me" Addy said, a sadistic grin filled with malice and dark glee. Trotsky Paled and grabbed my arm, pleading in his language to me, his mother, and the princesses that I not turn him over to the small Cervi boy...However, seeing my chance to escape the Paperwork I calmy Chewed off my amr as Trotsky was dragged screaming and crying towards His office in the Barracks.

"Comrade Fielderrrrr! WhyyyyyyyY!" The grey stallion shouted as he was dragged around the corner. Greta shuddered, Gave me a shrug and flew off towards town.

"Alls fair in love and war...and Bureaucracy" I said, with a cowardly grin as I started to enter the mansion. I feel a sudden jolt, and look down. A silver spearpoint, mounted on bleached ash was protruding from my middle chest area.

"Wha..."I choke out, falling to my knees as someone behind me sobs.

"Oh, gods...I'm so Sorry...T-They have my family and..." Began a Cervi man as he backed away, watching in horror as black pus begins to seep from the wound, and then my mouth and eyes, the silver on the blade tarnishing and ground sizzling as it leaks. The Cervi runs, but is captured by Moonlight, before she turns to me. Everything is fading in and out, and I feel dizzy.....Wait....I can actually.....Feel.......

Author's Note

Is this the end of our intrepid hero? Are you reading this in an old fashioned annoucer's voice?! The answer to one of these questions is yes, But you'll have to wait until next time to find out! (Unless, y'know, you read the blog. Alternate monsster type are still welcome to be submitted. If you want Brandon to somehow get turned into a different monster or creature of legend, just comment your mnster, or drop me a message. Or write it on a cream pie and throw it at me. whatever works.