Morning came quickly. The People following me were packing up with haste. With freedom ahead, and the enemy on our tails, it was time to move. In the vanguard, I had Daring, Gwrtheryn, and Aderyn. I took the rearguard with a few steady warriors. Things were progressing smoothly until I noticed that we were being followed. The path we were following was heavily wooded, so I split up my forces and lay in wait, preparing to ambush our pursuers.

“On my signal” I whispered. Two figures walked down the path, arguing and bickering over something. One was a brown unicorn stallion with darker hair, who wore a finely tailored suit and top-hat. The other was a red lizard-man dressed in faded jeans and a hoodie.

“I absolutely cannot believe that you lost our horses. How in the name of Celestia’s sunny arse do you lose a horse?!” shouted the brown stallion, berating his travelling partner.

“Not my fault! I got knocked out by some thug!” said the drake.

“Oh, Wonderful! My first excursion as an adventurer and my companion is a glass-jawed dragon. Bloody hell!” Griped the stallion, gripping his cane.

“Gaius, For fuck’s sake. I AM A DRAKE! Dragons are much bigger and scarier.” the lizard man replied.

“Oh shut your gob Xenith. we’re both failures as adventurers. I doubt we’ll catch up to this undead bandit like this, let alone end his terror.” said Gauius, his shoulders slumping. I took that moment to step onto the road and raise my hand.

“Hail traveler! would you care for a parley?” I said, flashing my best smile as my archers sprung into position all around the two.

“Bollocks” was the only word Gaius managed before he was knocked unconscious.
The drake, Xenith, fared little better.

When the two travellers awoke, I stood over them. The unicorn, Gaius, rose to his feet in an instant and plunged a silver dagger into my chest.

“Die, Foul undead!” he shouted. I just rolled my eyes and removed it.

“Whoever sold you that butter knife jipped you. Fake silver see?” I said calmly as the young stallion nearly wet himself from fear. I knelt down to his level (He’d fallen as he tried to get away, to my amusement). “Look, buddy, I saw the wanted poster. I’m not gonna kill you, I’m not a bandit. I AM undead, and the ‘Property’ I stole happens to be these fine people.” I said, gesturing with the fake silver dagger to indicate the Cervi Archers sitting around me. They were good guys, and flashed the scared Unicorn roguish grins. “Now, if you want an explanation, you’ll follow me. Gotta get outta here before the schweine cavalry arrives eh?”

I Stood and dusted myself off before offering a hand to the fallen Stallion. “You coming?”

Gaius looked at my hand and back at me before grabbing it. “I always did want to be an adventurer…” he mumbled as I pulled him up. His friend sat up at that moment and looked around groggily.

“Aw Fuck” he said laying back down. “We’re gonna die aren’t we?” he asked. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m a vindictive, angry, undead king. I’m not a murderer.” I joked.

“Right. That makes me feel sooo much safer.” The drake deadpanned.

“Wasn’t supposed to. I’m giving you a chance. You could come with us, or run away. If you choose the latter option, I’d best not find you hunting me again.” I said, snapping the cheap knockoff blade in two. The unspoken threat along with my unnaturally glowing eyes made the drake gulp.

“...I think I’ll follow you...For a bit…” Said the drake scratching at the back of his head.

“Won’t be for too long boys. Equestrian delegation’s ahead. I’m getting these folks asylum. Nobody should be a slave.”

So, with my two intrepid adventurer acquaintances riding behind my warriors we set off to rejoin the caravan. After a few hours of riding we came upon the camp. I saw a meeting table One side was occupied by Gwrtheryn and Aderyn, whilst a white stallion in an expensive looking suit and a purple alicorn sat at another.

“Princess Sparkle, I don’t see any benefit to letting this...Rabble...Enter the kingdom! They hold no information or anything of value to Equestria.” Said the white stallion. The purple Unicorn just stared incredulously at her companion.

“Prince Blueblood, Are you really suggesting I abandon them to slavery or worse? I knew you were a jerk but this is just heartless!” Replied the purple alicorn. “Celestia’s definitely going to hear about this! Spike! Take a letter.” she commanded. A small Lizard-boy appeared from under the table, his mouth bulging as he chewed something.

“Egad! Did your little monster eat the jewels on my belt! I just purchased it yesterday!” whined the white stallion. Everyone else at the table rolled their eyes. Gwrtheryn was the first to notice me approach.

“Ah! greetings Lord Brandon. I was just negotiating the terms of our entry into Equestria. Mayhap you’ll find better luck?” he said smiling. I smiled in return, but inwardly I was cursing at him. Sure, I like people calling me “my lord” and “your highness” but I’ve recently learned to hate the responsibilities of leadership.

“No more than you’d have Steward” I replied. Since he’d tried to pawn off all of the responsibilities of leadership on me, I’d made the old chieftain my steward. Serves him right for trying to get out of his duties. I dismounted and sat at the table.

“I am Prince blueblood, and this is Princess Twilight Sparkle. A pleasure to make your acquaintance...Your highness.” Said Blueballs. From the way he spoke, it almost seemed as if he were doing me a favor just by talking to me. I wanted to ram my sword into his throat and I’ve only known him for less than a minute. New fucking Record. The Princess however, having finished dictating her letter, spoke up.

“An absolute pleasure to meet you your highness. If I may, it is an honor to meet the last human. Is it true you are cursed with undeath?” she said, magicking up a pen and notepad from thin air.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Princess, though the company you keep leaves much to be desired.” I said, Grasping her hand and kissing it. (I swear, I wasn’t putting on moves! It was literally how I’d been taught to greet royalty during my squireship). Twilight blushed and withdrew quickly, leaving me slightly confused. “Well, as you have heard, I am undead and I am the last human. King Brandon Fielder, at your service.”

*****5 days later*****

My term as king was over as I sat on the train to a small town called ponyville. The leaders of Equestria, Princess Celestia and her sister Princess luna, had officially made the cervi (and all 500 refugees of varying races following me) into equestrian citizens. As for solving my undead problem….well, Luna had much experience with dark magic, but to remove the curse was to unbind my soul. Meaning, I would die. Again. Luna was however, able to manipulate the magic of the curse, Meaning that I could shift into my undead state at will. It also had the unintended but welcome side effect of letting me feel more human.

I could sleep and eat again, as well as shave and get a haircut. (the magic that makes me unable to die doesn’t heal me, It’s more of a restore point. As in, If I get blown to bits, rather than regenerate the magic uses a “template” to restore my last condition.) In exchange for helping me though, they asked me to continue leading the people I rescued. I was given the title of Count, and sent on my way to help the Cervi Refugees build a new life in Ponyville. My job, was to see to the governance and running of the newly enlarged Ponyville, whilst simultaneously freeing up Twilight and her friends so that they may deal with “friendship problems”. Now, I know they are heroes. I get it. But seriously? Friendship problems? This is gonna suck.

Author's Note

~Whiskey here! Just here to show off my shiny new editor. Say hello Buddy *Presses pistol into side*
~Exaxxion here, I’m the new editor and I hope you guys enjoy the chapter