hi.
do you know who i am?
because i don’t.
they say i have amnesia.
which is sad. i guess.
please write me back.
i have no pony to talk to.
i am very lonely, and feel empty and very, very confused.
i don't know what to think, what to say, or what to hope for.
i don't even remember what i used to feel or do or... anything...
i know this is random.
but please.
help this random pony.
sincerely, random
Autumn Breeze stared at her reflection in her mirror. She was a sky blue pegasus with short squash orange, and apple red mane and tail. Her eyes were a brown-orange color. A blank expression seemed permanently marked on her face. She checked her flank. It was blank. She couldn't remember what it looked like before. In fact, Autumn felt like she was staring at a complete stranger. A stranger that she should know. A stranger that she knew not but a couple days ago.
Autumn had amnesia.
And she couldn't remember why.
Yesterday morning she had woken up, lying on a hospital bed.
"What's going on?!" she had cried, straining to get up. "Where am I?! What - what.... Who am I?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" She had flung around wildly, screaming at the top of her lungs with a voice that sounded foreign.
"Ma'am, ma'am, hold still!" some nurse ponies with white coats, commanded.
"No! You'll never hold me!"
"Some pony get this mare sedated!" a white-coat pony had yelled.
And then the nurses rushed forward with needles and everything had gone black.
Later they told Autumn that she had been found along the docks with blood streaming from her head. Her cutie mark was fading, as was her heart beat. She was rushed into the emergency room and operated on. They had been able to save her life, but unable to save her memory or cutie mark.
One doctor had told Autumn that she was lucky. Some ponies that got amnesia had to relearn how to read, write, walk, or even relearn to talk. All that had happened to Autumn was that she lost memory of everything that had happened to her, and she couldn't remember how to fly. Oh, yeah. And she lost her cutie mark. The doctors were still puzzled on that one. But Autumn didn't feel lucky. She didn't feel anything except emptiness and sometimes confusion.
A pony that said that she was Autumn's older sister, had taken her home from the hospital earlier this morning.
Autumn didn't know if this pony was her sister or not, but with her matching eyes and name -which happened to be Summer Blossom- Autumn guessed that this pegasus mare had been telling the truth. They looked pretty similar too. Summer's coat was cobalt blue and her mane and tail were summer green with light pink.
When Autumn had first told Summer that she couldn't remember her, the older mare had gotten upset and almost started crying. She told Autumn that they lived together and were the closest of sisters and loved going shopping together. She had seemed to be in a frantic hope that Autumn would snap out of her amnesia and remember everything.
"I'm sorry," Autumn had said. "I don't remember you." That's when Summer had rushed off to her room.
Autumn had to find her room by herself then, since Summer was busy bawling her eyes out. She finally found it when she saw the name that everyone kept calling her printed into a bedroom door.
Now she was busy trying to figure out who she was, by staring into the full length mirror that hung in 'her bedroom'.
Autumn looked down and sighed. It was useless. She couldn't remember anything no matter how hard she tried to recall something. "It's useless," she murmured aloud.
Her stomach grumbled so she decided to go look for something to eat. She stepped cautiously out of her room, and looked around. Okay. So, where exactly was the kitchen? It probably wasn't upstairs, because that would be a little odd.
Autumn decided to go downstairs to look for the kitchen, as that would be a more sensible place for it to be. Carefully, she descended the stair case, step by step. For some reason that she couldn't explain, the stairs made her feel queasy and the way they curved around so sharply rather unnerved her.
Once downstairs, Autumn began a futile search for the kitchen. Her stomach continued to growl loudly, reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything good since before she was in the hospital. According to Summer, Autumn had been in the hospital for two days without coming to. When she finally woke up on the third day, the nurses had to sedate her because she was hyperventilating. The fourth day, which happened to be today, Summer picked her up.
As Autumn frantically scanned the house with her eyes her stomach cried out for food. When she heard the click of a door behind her. Autumn whirled around to face a light, arctic blue pegasus and screamed, "WHERE IS THE FREAKING KITCHEN?!!"
The pegasus jumped back, obviously very startled. "Autumn, are you okay?" he asked.
Autumn groaned. "I will be when I get some food into my stomach!"
The pegasus grimaced and scratched his white mane covered head with his hoof. "Um, I'll show you where it is."
Autumn was surprised when the winter-y looking pony lead her back up the stairs and into a room that was very obviously the kitchen.
Well, what do you know, Autumn thought to herself, The kitchen was upstairs after all.
"Who would put the kitchen upstairs?!" Autumn asked, with the shake of her head.
The stallion shrugged. "Summer said that you insisted it be up here so that it would be easier to get a midnight snack, or something like that."
Autumn was slightly taken aback. Really? It had been her decision? Well, that was... odd. She stared at the pegasus that was standing in front of her and realized that she was probably supposed to know him. "I know you don't I?" she asked.
"Well, I'm your younger brother, so it goes with some thought that, yes, you should probably know me," he said. Then with a sigh he added, "Summer told me about you having amnesia."
"Yes, I guess I do. But, um, you're my brother?" The pegasus nodded. "What's you're name?"
"Winter Chill," he replied.
"Wow, I guess our parents were really into their seasons," Autumn remarked, flatly.
"Yeah, I guess..." Suddenly Winter gasped and exclaimed, "Autumn, what happened to your cutie mark?!"
"I guess it faded away when I lost my memory. At least, that's what the doctors think," Autumn replied, with a shrug. She walked over to the refrigerator, pulled the white door open, and scanned it for food. She grabbed a container of green beans and another of mashed potatoes. Not even bothering to warm the left overs up, she hurriedly wolfed the food down.
Winter stared at her. "You okay?" he asked, as she clutched her stomach.
Autumn felt the cold, badly chewed food churn in her stomach. An overwhelming feeling consumed her, and she croaked, "Where's the bathroom?"
Momentarily confused, Winter asked, "What?"
Too late for further questioning, Autumn felt her meal push up, and trigger her gag reflexes. And there, with her younger brother that she didn't know staring at her, Autumn vomited up what she had just eaten.
"Oh, Celestia!" Winter cried, jumping back.
Summer entered the room. "What's going on?" she asked, concern written across her face. "Winter? What are you doing here? And what's that nasty smell. It's like-" she stopped when she saw the puddle vomit. "Oh dear, sweet Celestia! There's puke on the kitchen floor!"
"You think?!" Winter snarled; awhile Autumn tried to recall who in Equestria Celestia was.
"Winter clean up this mess," Summer commanded. "Autumn, go to the bathroom just in case. I'll bring you a cup of water."
Winter was sputtering angrily. "Wh-What?! I'm not going to clean up this disgusting mess! I don't even live here!"
"Well, you're my younger brother so you have to do what I say! It doesn't matter if you live here or not!" Summer snapped back. "Now hurry and clean it up before some pony steps in it yet!"
"Oh, you mean you, miss clumbsy hooves. Clean it up yourself!"
"Well you were the one who was here when it happened, so I say that you should clean it up!"
"What in Equestria does that have to do with anything?!"
Autumn clung to her stomach, wishing the still-queasy feeling to go away. She also wished that these two pathetic strangers, who obviously didn't get a long very well at all, would just stop yelling.
Without either Summer or Winter noticing, Autumn dragged herself out of the kitchen, down the steps, and into the bathroom, which she some how miraculously found. There she hurled the rest of whatever food was left out of her stomach. She felt horrible alone. Just like in the hospital. Her loneliness was probably why, when waiting for Summer to come for her, Autumn had written a note to a random pony. She had been flipping through a random address book that she had somehow gotten her hooves on when it landed on a nameless address. She had no clue who the address belonged to, or how she had even gotten the dumb book in the first place, but she had felt like she absolutely must write to this pony. So, there in the hospital, Autumn had written a note, in which she addressed herself as 'Random', and then she had a nurse pony mail it for her. Even though she had put a return address on the envelope (she had asked a doctor what the address of the house she lived at was), she didn't expect a reply. She had simply wanted to tell some pony how she felt.
Suddenly Summer and Winter burst into the bathroom.
"Oh my goodness, are you okay?!" they both exclaimed spontaneously. They gave each other a quick glare, and then directed their attention to Autumn.
Autumn looked up from where she laid on the hard, tile floor. "Leave me alone," she said.
"No!" Summer cried.
"Never!" Winter exclaimed.
Again they exchanged fierce glares.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!" Autumn yelled.
Tears welled up in Summers eyes, and Winter looked down at his hooves.
Autumn's breathing was heavy and she felt devoid of any pity or shame or anything. These two ponies that stood before her were strangers. The feeling that she should know these two arguing idiots only continued to frustrate her even more than she was. Couldn't they leave her be for one moment?! She had amnesia for crying out loud! How was she supposed to 're-discover herself', or whatever it was that the doctor had said would take time to do, with two ponies hovering over her, asking if her if she was 'okay' every moment. Of course she wasn't okay! What were their empty brains thinking?
Oh.
Wait.
It was Autumn who had the empty brain.
"I'm going up to my ...room..." Autumn said, getting up. She made eye contact with Summer for a brief moment before she brushed past the two other pegasus.
That night Autumn's sleep was fevered with nightmares. None of them made sense. She was being chased and she had to get away. She didn't know who was chasing her or why, all she knew was she had to run. Suddenly, Autumn was run into a corner. She was surrounded by boxes and there was no way to escape. She turned around, only to have a giant shadow loom in front of her. She heard a maniacal laugh and a voice, that some how sounded familiar, said, "I have you now, my pretty pony!"
Autumn jerked awake, panting and covered in sweat. What did that dream mean? Possibly something that happened in her past. Most likely just a meaningless nightmare. But you never know.
Autumn glanced out her window that was beside her bed. The sun had risen, and now was smiling down on the streets of Manehattan. Taking a walk seemed quite inviting, so Autumn got up and headed downstairs, not even bothering to fix her bed.
She took extra precaution to be quiet, just in case Summer was still sleeping. Autumn really didn't want to wake her older sister, for it would most likely bring on more ridiculous questions, and she really wasn't up to dealing with all the drama of siblings that she couldn't remember pushing her to get over her amnesia.
Autumn unlocked the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk, the blinding light hitting her eyes. She squinted, trying to make something out of this large city that she lived in.
To her right ponies milled around; shopping, going to their jobs, taking walks, among other things. They all looked fancy and proper and probably remembered every single bit of gossip that was going on. To her left, down several houses, were the docks. Ships, crates, sailor ponies, and best of all, the sparkling, blue ocean. Autumn was entranced. She simply had to get a closer look at the crystal water.
Autumn trotted in the direction of the docks, swerving around ponies and trying not to get trampled. When she reached the general area of the docks, she stopped and stared in awe. The ocean was the most beautiful thing she had seen. Well, at least, that she could remember of, anyways.
Suddenly a pony bumped into her and she heard crates crash to the ground. She turned around to face a gruff looking earth pony sailor. He had a brown coat and light blue mane and tail. "Hey, what are ye?!" he growled, trying to regather the crates that he had been carrying. "Some kind o' permanent roadblock? Move a long! Move a long, oi say!"
"Oh." Autumn took several steps back. This did not look like a pony that you would want to make angry. "I'm quite sorry, sir. I was just enraptured by the beautiful water, see."
The sailor's face pinched up in an angry frown. "What? A tourist are ye?"
"No, I live here in Manehattan."
"Then why find ye the waters so beautiful? Most pony folks here are used to it and stay clear of 'e docks."
"Well, I-I don't know, I just like the water..." Autumn stammered.
The sailor laughed harshly. "Ye be a strange one then. Well, take ye gawken some place else. Oi has work to get done!"
"Sorry!" Autumn said again, trying to get out of the way.
He pushed past in a rude manner and carried his crates towards a rustic looking boat.
Autumn was glad that the pony was gone, as she found him very unlikable. She sighed and moved closer to the water.
She peered down into the glimmering waters and saw some little silver fish swimming about. She couldn't help but smile. Aside from the noise and smell of fish, Autumn found the docks more pleasant than any place else in this bustling city.
"Autumn?! Autumn Breeze, where in Equestria are you?!"
Autumn looked up to see Summer frantically looking about. She rushed over to the rude sailor and seemed to be talking to him. He frowned and pointed towards the blue pegasus. Summer rushed over to Autumn. "Oh, thank Celestia, I found you! What ever are you doing down here at the docks? It's a most unpleasant place to be!"
"I find it enjoying," Autumn said. "Besides, you're not my mother. I can go where I please." Summer frowned. "What do you want?"
"I was worried about you, is all. You could get lost! You have amnesia!" Some sailors stared as Summer yelled. She was starting to sound a little crazy.
"Keep it down!" Autumn hissed. "I don't want all of Manehattan knowing that I have half a brain! And I know better than to get lost. I'm not a little filly, sorry to inform you, mother hen."
"I'm your older sister! I have a right to worry! You're just being ungrateful!"
More staring.
"Well I don't remember you at all! Sorry if that hurts your feelings, but it's the truth. Right now, you mean nothing to me, because I really have no clue who you are, aside from what you tell me. You could be a complete stranger to me! I really don't think I should be grateful to some one that I don't even know," Autumn snapped. She didn't care if she hurt Summer's feelings. This pony was getting on her nerves.
"You do so know me! You just don't remember right now, is all. In time you will start to remember again. You'll see!" Summer sounded like she was desperately trying to convince herself.
"Oh yeah? Well what if I don't remember? Not ever! What then? Huh? Have you ever thought of that?!"
"You will to remember! You WILL!" Summer yelled.
"You can't make me!" Autumn yelled back, frustration coming up in tears. "You have no control over fate and neither do I! If it's permanent then it's permanent and you won't be able to do a single thing about it!"
Summer burst into tears. "But you're my sister!"
"That doesn't change anything," Autumn stated, coldly.
Sobbing, Summer ran back to the house, wiping her tears with her wings.
Autumn turned to the sailors who were staring in shock, their mouths open. "What are you staring at?!" she yelled.
They all quickly looked away, murmuring, "Oh, nothing, nothing. Sorry. Wasn't lookin' at nothing."
"Good."
Autumn sighed and hung her head. The truth was, Summer probably had a right to be worried, even if this was just the docks. "Please let me get my memory back," she said aloud.
