Bodyguard for Twilight

by The_Scared_Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 863

Well.. it about a Human bodyguard for Twilight Sparkle

What do you think what will happen if a gun loving American enters Equestria to be a Bodyguard for Twilight when she goes to Ponyville to check up on the Summer Sun Celibration? WELL, I have no idea.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-14 05:13:37 UTC

Chapter 1

Bodyguard for Twilight

By: Scared Brony

Ch.1

Twilight Sparkle was just about done packing to move to the library in Ponyville. She was still a little mad at the Princess for saying that she needed more friends. Spike’s reassuring didn’t help at all. She and Spike had finished putting all boxes on the chariot when they had stopped suddenly. “Spike you hear that?” Twilight asked. “Yeah, it kind of sounds like… yelling.” The little dragon had said.

UNFORTUNETLY that yelling was mine. I had kept falling for a while now and I had turned around to see where I was falling; as soon as I had seen I yelled and had turned to my back again. “SWEET JESUS, JUST DON’T WRECK MY FACE!” I hit the ground… Hard. Twilight and Spike ran over to investigate what they had saw. I was on my knees, coughing up blood.

“Great, just fucking great.” I said aloud. “YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN ME A PARACHUTE YOU FUCKING PRINCESS!”

Twilight had heard me curse at the Princess. “What are you!? And why are you yelling at the Princess?”

“Oh, sorry… it’s just that BITCH didn’t give me a softer landing. The names Zack, the Princess had sent me here to be your Human Bodyguard in Ponyville. She had given me a contract to make sure you return safely.” I had pulled out the scroll. “You can read it if you want.”

She had whipped it out of my hands with her magic and started to read it aloud.

After she read the she had looked up at me. I was picking at my nails with my 13in Bowie Knife. I had seen a butterfly and had let it fly around me for a bit when I had slashed the Knife upwards and cut it right in half. “Clean cut.” I said with a smirk. I looked at Twilight who had returned the look with disgust. “What?” I asked, “I hate bugs.” She continued to read the letter

“Oh, perfect more ponies to make friends wi…” Twilight had stopped right there and had turned to me slowly. “What exactly are you again?”

“I’m a Human” I said

“What’s a human doing in Equestria? How are you qualified to protect me? And another question, how do YOU know the Princess?”

“I came here a long time ago, after I left I had finished my schoolings and had went to police training and had gotten 2ND to the top of the class. During my graduation I had received a note to join a SWAT team nearby. I accepted without hesitation. I may not have been the brightest there but, God Damn could I out shoot ANYBODY who was foolish enough to challenge me! After the graduation ceremony I had just walked in my front door when I saw the Princess sitting on my couch, drinking MY Gatorade. I think the worst part about all that is that she didn’t even wipe her hooves on my Welcome mat. After a shot talk I had agreed to come here and watch over you, because if I didn’t, Celestia would have my BALLS for never returning that favor.”

“What was that favor for?”

“All the rest of your questions I will answer in good time. But for now I’m your bodyguard weather you like it or not and Celestia had a separate room for made for me in the library.”

Twilight was still staring at me with disbelief.

“You know it’s not nice to stare.” I said turning my head away.

I bent down to grab my duffle bag. My back still hurt from the fall.

“What’s in there” Twilight asked.

“My weapons” I answered her question calmly.

“Weapons? Like Magic Spells or Horn Sharpeners?”

“No no, Human weapons. Celestia had created weapons for me from my mind. Didn’t know how she did it but…” I had pulled out a gun from one of my favorite videogames, The Lancer from Gears of War. “After I saw this, I didn’t give a fuck! In my room at the library, Celestia had stocked it full of ammo for me. She had also called in backup for me.”

“Backup? What do you mean BACKUP?”

I looked at her with a shit eating grin. “My friends are coming, Do you know what more dangerous having a Human in Equestria?”

“N-No” She answered sacredly.

“Six humans in Equestria.” I laughed a little bit. “And we are going to have one HELL of a party when they get here!” I looked at her and she shivered and had looked at me like I was going to kill here. “Hey, listen. I’m not here to hurt ANY one. I’m your bodyguard, you can trust me. One more thing…”

“Yes” She replied a little reassured.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” I asked while I pointed to the purple scaled dragon.”

Authors Note

The only thing I own in this story is me. My Little Pony is owned by Hasbro and Gears of War and the Lancer are owned by Microsoft Game Studios (or Epic Games I don’t know.) By the way, How was the story?