I Am the Night

by Ezn

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pinkie Pie
Length: 10236

Luna is The Batmare.

After years of living in a reclusive state of mourning for her beloved sister, Princess Luna chances to overhear a plot to misuse her power. She must take to the streets under the cover of darkness to clear her name, and to gain the trust of her subjects. She must become more than just an unpopular princess – she must become a symbol for justice.

Published 2015-05-23 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-23 21:20:02 UTC

Part I: Batmare Begins

I AM THE NIGHT

by Ezn

PART I
BATMARE BEGINS

THE SOUND of a gunshot tore a hole in tense air of the moonlit alley behind the Sidneigh Opera House. A bright muzzle flash exploded the unshaven muzzle of the stallion with the desperate eyes and harsh voice, and Luna heard her sister scream out in pain.

“Sister!”

Princess Celestia slumped to the pavement, and red blood stained white fur. Luna stood motionless, watching.

The stallion cursed. “This is your fault!” he growled, before turning tail and galloping away. He was gone before Luna regained control of her faculties.

So was her sister.

Luna woke up with a start. Renewed memories of that night all those years ago opened up old wounds, and she shivered and breathed heavily. There was no getting back to sleep now.

Princess Luna slipped out from under the covers and slid out of bed. Her hooves clopped softly on the wooden floors, and the bedroom door creaked as she opened it. Perhaps a glass of warm milk would soothe her troubled mind... more likely not.

Milk filled up a glass, and Luna cast a heating spell over it. Steam rose from the white surface. The part that wounded her the deepest was that bullet had been meant for her.

It had been happened a scant few months since her return from exile within the moon. Although she was finally free of the anger and jealousy that had consumed her in the form of Nightmare Moon, there were still ponies who were justifiably suspicious of the sudden appearance of a long-lost princess they'd never heard of before, and who they were supposed to accept as an equal to their beloved Princess Celestia. Of these, there was a smaller group of ponies who hatched a plan to forcefully voice their disapproval and – in their minds – free Princess Celestia of her sister's – of Nightmare Moon's – bad influence.

The shooter had been nervous. Guns were a griffon invention, not optimised for mouth-wielding. And ponies, a largely peaceful race, could not be said to be optimised for shooting guns.

Celestia had been hit directly in the heart. She was dead long before the paramedics arrived.

Luna blew the steam away and took a sip. The milk warmed her from her throat to her hooves.

That's when she heard a scuffling coming from one of the walls, followed by low whispers. Some ponies were having a low conversation in the room adjacent. Luna walked closer to the wall and put her ear to it, straining to hear what their talk was about.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” asked a cautious, female voice.

“Undoubtedly, Pink,” a deep, confident male voice replied. “I've got everything set up. We're just going to march in, show them the requisition letter stamped with Princess Moody's royal seal and collect what's coming to us. Trust me.”

“And then we'll have enough money to throw a super-duper surprise party for little orphan Pip?” the female voice asked.

“Oh, that'll be just the beginning, my dear,” the male voice continued. “With the money we're going to get, we'll be able to throw a surprise party for every orphan in Equestria, and still have change.”

“Ya– mmff!”

“Shh, somepony'll hear us!”

“Sorry.”

“Okay, let's get out of here. We'll meet at the First Equestrian Bank tomorrow at noon. Come in costume, and don't be late.”

There was a scuffling of hooves, and then silence. Luna slowly, unsteadily stepped back from the wall, as if in a trance.

She had to wonder how many times such crimes must have been committed in her name during the last eight years. In all that time, she had barely left Canterlot Castle, and hardly spoken to anypony apart from maids and cooks. A whole new generation of school-age foals must have known nothing of the princess who raised the sun and moon each morning and evening.

But this was no time for idle musing! She had just uncovered a criminal plot, and had to do something about it. Luna grit her teeth and cantered out of the kitchen, leaving her half-empty glass on the counter.

She hoped the nightguards’ barracks had not been relocated recently. It had been years since she had spoken with any of the eager young nightguards who were supposed to be under her command. Surely they would be brave and resourceful enough to foil the plans of these castle-infiltrating evil-doers!

But as she zigzagged through the hallways, her canter slowed to a trot, and then a walk, and then a crawl. She, the immortal Princess of the Night – the one pony who controlled both the sun and moon – was running to her guards for help against petty thieves.

Her guards weren’t there on that night at the opera house. She and Celestia hadn’t even considered bringing them. An entourage of guards for an evening of socialisation and entertainment? Whatever for?

Princess Luna had come to a standstill in one of the great, airy corridors of her palace. The ceiling was far above her head, and nopony else was anywhere to be seen.

Nopony else except her sister, Princess Celestia, who gazed down on her from just above the door on the other end of the hallway. The artist had captured her in a mood of solemn determination, her chin high, her eyes set fixedly ahead of her and her mane flowing out behind her. She looked strong, proud and ready for anything.

Glancing down at her bony frame, Luna felt stingingly inferior. She imagined herself as she must have looked from the eyes of that enormous portrait – a small, hunched speck of midnight blue, dashing across cavernous halls in desperate search of help from others more brave and capable than herself.

Luna asked herself what her sister would have done had she been the one drinking milk in the kitchen; what her sister would do about ponies plotting to impersonate her. Luna knew she would never stand for it. Celestia would have burst into that secret meeting and arrested those ponies herself. She would have sorted out and forgotten about this issue in the time it had taken Luna to run halfway to her nightguard, because she was a Princess.

Luna wanted to be a Princess too. She cast her mind back into the mists of time, remembering when she and Celestia had imprisoned Discord in stone with the power of the Elements of Harmony. Celestia had said something then, something important...

The wind whipped at Celestia's pink mane as she stood at the edge of the cliff that was to host Canterlot. Below her, pink clouds turned white and a landscape polka-dotted with harsh blues and oranges slowly grew greener. “Sister,” she said, glancing back, “you and I have done a great thing today. But our great task has only just begun.”

Luna was frightened. “W-will Discord return?”

“I do not think so, but that is not what I speak of. I speak of the great, everlasting task we accepted the day we discovered the Elements of Harmony. Do you remember?”

“Y-yes. But... forever?”

“Yes, Luna. It is our sworn duty to protect ponykind for as long as they still live. We have not aged these past twenty years of preparation, and I do not think we ever shall. Our job is too important.”

Luna nodded solemnly and joined her sister at the edge of the cliff.

Pangs of regret tugged at Luna's heart as she recalled how she had betrayed her sister only a century later, but she shook the memories out of her head and gazed up at the oil painting again. Then, nodding with a genuine solemnity, she reaffirmed her devotion to that eternal duty that was now hers alone.

She would become a Princess worthy of her title, a ruler like her sister had been. And she would start by fighting her own battles and protecting her own ponies.

*/^oo^*

It was a busy day at the bank – the last Friday of the month. Ponies of all kinds, from pegasus pencil-pusher to earth pony construction worker to unicorn lab assistant, stood in long lines, fidgeting and making smalltalk.

The main room was abuzz with noise and activity, but everything turned quiet and still the instant a timid unicorn with a dark blue coat and lighter blue mane stepped up to one of the tellers and said her name.

“Um, hello. I, Princess Luna, have come to make a withdrawal.” A hoof slapped a piece of parchment down on the counter, and the royal seal of the Night Regent seemed to almost jump off its surface.

“Y-your Highness!” exclaimed the teller, awkwardly dropping below the counter in an unpraciticed bow. “It– It is an honour!”

Murmurs and gasps floated around the room.

“Is it really her?”

“What’s the Princess doing here?”

“Mommy, what’s a princess?”

“Please,” said Luna, “do not be frightened. I need to take out a royal loan for a matter of grave national importance – the same matter that has kept me occupied for this last decade. Understand that I do not mean to –”

There was a sudden and very loud bang as the double-doors at the entrance of the bank flew open. “An impostor! That blackguard art not your Princess!”

Iron-clad hooves clanked against the floor as a figure in a black cloak entered the bank. A hood covered her head, casting a shadow over her face. A faint glow lightened the fabric at the top of the hood.

“Who’s this? What does she want?” somepony asked.

“She’s scary!”

“Look up! What’s that?”

Far above everyponies’ heads, a steel bucket floated in a cloud of brilliant blue magic glow.

“What’s she doing with that?”

The moved swiftly to a position above the dark blue unicorn in front of the teller’s station, and then upended itself.

A torrent of water poured out, and the Princess screamed in fright.

“What’s this madmare doing to our Princess?!” shouted somepony.

“She’d not our Princess, you idiot! Look!”

“Mommy, what’s an idiot?”

The Princess's body dripped with blue water, and large splotches of pink had appeared on her mane and coat. Her fake horn had fallen off.

The cloaked pony snorted derisively. “This cretin intended to make off with thousands of bits of your hard-earned savings, fair citizens! But fear not, for your salvation is at hoof.”

All eyes turned to the pink impostor, silently accusing and judging her. A path cleared between her and the cloaked pony, allowing the latter to march right up to her and stare angrily down at her pitiful expression. “What hast thou to say for thyself?”

The pink pony sniffed and stifled a sob. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. “I just – I just wanted to throw a party for little orphan Pipsqueak’s birthday. I didn’t know it was wrong... I... hey! White Collar! Tell them about the Robbin’ Hood! Tell them what you told me!”

“Shoot,” muttered an all-white unicorn with a sack slung onto his back, obviously trying to make a quiet getaway amidst the commotion. He froze for just a moment as every pony in the room turned to face him, and then bolted.

“Hey! What’re you doing? Don’t leave me!”

“No hard feelings, Pink, but I never really liked your parties anyway!”

The cloaked pony charged into action. “Block the exits! He mustn’t escape!”

White Collar chuckled cruelly and shot a beam of magic energy at the central light. The mostly windowless bank was plunged into darkness, and the sounds of ponies tripping over and colliding with each other masked his speedy hoofsteps.

The cloaked pony, however, felt perfectly comfortable in the dark. Her keen eyes spotted White Collar inches from the double-doors, horn at ready to throw them open. She knew she wouldn’t be able to reach him in time. Instead, she unfastened her cape from her around her neck.

“Go, furry friends!”

Squeaking and screeching filled the room as a horde of bats flew from her back and charged at White Collar, cutting him off seconds before he could escape.

“Ah! Get ‘em off, get ‘em off!”

White Collar trashed his forehooves around wildly at the bats circling his head, but it was futile. He had already lost, and his defeat became complete as he felt the pressure of a cold metal horseshoe on his shoulder.

The door was pulled open, and a swift buck from a pair of long dark-blue hindlegs sent White Collar spinning head-over-tail onto the hard pavement... right in the middle of large gathering of policeponies and their wagons.

“Don’t steal from our ponies! Thy Princess commands it!”

And with this utterance, the real Princess Luna cast a light spell within the bank, illuminating her proud figure for all to see. Her starry mane billowed in an extra-strong solar breeze.

“Your Majesty!” everpony cried, dropping into bows.

Luna smiled.

*/^oo^*

“I can’t tell you how much my ponies have been badgerin’ me to ‘express their sincerest gratitude’ to you for your help in the bank today, your Highness,” said Police Commissioner Applejack warmly. “White Collar’s been a thorn in our side for years with his fraud and embezzlement, and now we’ve finally got him locked up, ready to be charged, all thanks to you.”

“We were merely doing our duty!” Luna boomed.

Commissioner Applejack winced slightly, but forced a polite smile over it. “Still, we’re all very thankful. White Collar was a highly wanted criminal, and his assistant... well, word is she’s just a confused young mare, an’ I’m confident we c’n get her the help she needs.”

Luna recalled the dripping girl’s tearful eyes. “Tell us more about the assistant.”

“Well, your Majesty, her name’s Pinkie Pie, and she’s hardly a criminal. She’s got no previous record, and has apparently been gainfully occupied in the running of a small events-organising business for most of her adult life. That she would turn to crime like this is bafflin’, to say the least. I reckon that White Collar fellow spun her some pretty stories.”

“She said she wanted to have a party for an orphan,” Luna said. “Take me to her.”

“Well shucks, I’da given my money to a cause like that without it needin’ to be stolen. Come, I’ll show you to her cell. Just leave any weapons you might be carrying here.”

Commissioner Applejack plucked a holster from a strap on her shoulder and placed it inside a safe in the wall. She beckoned for Luna to follow suit.

“We don’t believe in guns.” Luna shook her cloak vigorously, and nothing fell out.

“Oh.” Applejack suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Right, right, of course. Perfectly understandable.”

*/^oo^*

“The cell’s right around this corner, Princess. Poor Ms Pie, she must be awful frightened. She didn’t even let my ponies help her wash off the p– what?!”

Luna felt a horrible sinking sensation in her chest. She turned the corner and caught up with Applejack. A wide-open cell door greeted her.

“How could she have escaped from my jail?! It’s impossible!” Applejack angrily stalked into the empty cell. “An’ what in the hay has she done to my walls?”

Two different shades of blue paint where splattered all over the walls, spelling out a message.

PARTY!PARTY! PARTY!PARTY!
PARTY!PARTY! PARTY!PARTY!
PARTY!PARTY! PARTY!PARTY!

“Well she ain’t no poet.”

“She’s a monster!” came a cry from the corner of the cell, behind the bed. A scruffy, bruised policepony pulled himself into view from where he had been lying on the floor. “I came in here to get her to stop vandalising the cell, and she savaged me! Knocked me out and made a run for it!”

Commissioner Applejack blew an angry snort through her nostrils. “I want every pony we can spare on the streets, now! This girl’s obviously more dangerous than we thought, and I’m not gonna let her get away with assaultin’ my officers!”

*/^oo^*

A pink pony covered in blue splotches galloped through the night with a singular purpose. Too much time had passed now for her to even think about carrying out her original plan. She had neither the funds nor the time nor the spirit to organise the party she’d dreamed of, but maybe if she hurried, maybe then she wouldn’t be too late to at least say goodbye.

After running for what felt like hours, she finally reached the orphanage. She burst in through the front door and barrelled up the stairs. Hooves clopped against hard wood as she raced to Room #20.

“Surprise!” she shouted as she dashed inside.

A cleaning mare looked up from where she was making the bed. The empty bed, in the barren room.

Realisation came to Pinkie slowly, and then it hit her like a brick as another pony galloped into the room behind her.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Pie!” wailed Mrs Cherish, the mare in charge of the orphanage and an old friend of Pinkie's. “Pipsqueak’s condition started to deteriorate rapidly early this morning. He passed on just before supper.”

Just before supper. Pinkie put the horrible pieces together. She had entered the bank at noon. If things had gone according to plan, Pipsqueak would have had his party. If White Collar had kept his promise to protect her, she wouldn’t have been sitting in jail for most of the day. She wouldn't have been prevented from seeing dear, sickly Pipsqueak.

But that’s not what happened.

Pinkie had failed, and now her little friend was gone.

She never even had a chance to say goodbye, let alone throw him one last party.

Pinkie Pie stood dazed for a moment. She felt dizzy, then sick, and then her eyes grew wet. She blinked, and the tears flowed. Pinkie slumped to the floor, sniffling.

Mrs Cherish moved in and hugged her, staining her apron with rivulets of blue and blue tears.

Somewhere in the dark of the night, a bat screeched. Then distant sirens sounded. Pinkie Pie’s ear stood at attention, and adrenaline broke through her grief. Blank-faced, she pushed Mrs Cherish away.

“Pinkie, what’s –”

She ran out of the door, still sobbing, ran out of the building, barely seeing through her tears, and disappeared into the night.

*/^oo^*

“I’m afraid we haven’t caught Miss Pie yet, your Majesty,” Commissioner Applejack said morosely. “It’s as if she just disappeared!”

“Keep trying. She has to be somewhere. We cannot rest until she is apprehended.”

“Will do, Princess Luna. Do say som’in if you manage to get to her first.”

“We shall. Good day.”

On the way out of the police station, Luna heard a familiar voice.

“...and he big floppy ears, and a brown coat with a big black spot on his back, and his name is Bruce, and I love him very – Mommy, look! It’s that bat mare!”

“Her name is Princess Luna, Autumn Leaf, and you need to bow when she comes in the room, like this.”

Luna smiled as the little orange filly and her pink mother bowed to her, and bade them to rise.

“Thank-you for saving us from the bad ponies, Princess Luna!” shouted Autumn Leaf.

“It is our pleasure!” Luna exclaimed.

Autumn shrunk back in awe and wonder, and Luna thought she noticed a tear of joy in the child’s eyes. She left the station with a smile on her face.

“‘That bat mare’,” she repeated to herself, amused. "We like the sound of that..."

[Luna and Pinkie Pie will return in I Am The Night Part II: Party in Tartarus]

Part II: Party in Tartarus

I AM THE NIGHT

by Ezn

PART II
PARTY IN TARTARUS

“RIGHT BANG-UP job you did with Mista Breezy here, your Lordship!” said Detective Inspector Copper Fuzz.

The slightest hint of a smile crept onto Luna’s stoic face. “All in a day’s work.”

“It’s ‘Mister Freezy’, you filthy patch-pony!” yelled the bruised, windswept stallion in the back of the police cart.

Copper Fuzz snorted concealing a laugh. “No’ much of an improvement there, Mista Freezy. Nex’ time you try to tangle wi’ Coltland Yard ‘n’ Princess Luna, it might be to your advantage ta come up with a betta name!”

Luna chortled. “And weapons more frightening than giant fans as well!”

“Tha’s the spirit, Princess!”

But by the time Copper had turned to share a grin with her, Princess Luna was already gone.

*/^oo^*

A tall, hooded figure moved swiftly and silently through Trottingham’s winding alleys. Her eyes scanned the ground ahead of her, and her ears flicked and swivelled as they monitored the area around her. Six months of fighting crime had taught Luna to always be ready for an ambush.

She came to a sudden stop as her ears picked up a light hooffall to her left.

“Show thyself!” she growled. “Your Princess commands it!”

A small fireball jumped in front of Luna, landing on the cement and sitting there for a second before splitting into ten separate fireballs of magnificent colour and shooting up into the sky in a fan formation, each one trailing smoke.

As the smoke cleared, Luna recognised a haughty smirk. The unicorn mare in front of her had a blue coat and a silver mane, and wore a green-and-purple suit and top hat. A purple mask covered the fur around her pink eyes.

“Riddler.”

The pony bowed, but with no humility. “Yes, yes, it is I, the CUNNING and DEVIOUS Riddler, Queen of the Cipher, Empress of the Enigma! Fear not, Batmare, for the Riddler’s reasons for engaging you this night are purely social! Your wits shall be strained to breaking point another day.”

“What dost thou want?”

“I’d like you to drop the silly voice, for one, but I guess that’s probably not going to happen. Mainly I want to give you message.”

“What message?”

The Riddler reached inside her green jacket and with a flourish pulled out a scroll, which she swiftly unravelled. She cleared her throat before starting to read.

“There’s a party coming, Batmare. Ensure that you receive your invitation.”

The Riddler rolled up her scroll.

“Is that all?” asked Luna. “What does it mean?”

With a chuckle, the Riddler shook her head. “You know it’s not the Riddler’s style to give these sorts of things away, Batmare. Have fun figuring it out!”

A green lightning bolt shaped like a question mark flashed as the Riddler teleported away. Luna resumed her walk. Why did they always call her “Batmare”?

*/^oo^*

Luna glided on outstretched wings in the cool night air, her cloak flapping behind her, and the moon rising ahead of her. The white spires of Canterlot were coming into view, and her heart leapt at the sight of her castle.

But as she drew closer to it, she noticed another familiar sight. Against the night sky there glowed a bright light with a shadow in the shape of a crown cut out of it. Her signal was up; the city needed her help.

Luna was tired after her long flight, but she knew her duty. Silently, gracefully, she banked left, heading for the police station.

Commissioner Applejack was waiting on the roof, standing next to the spotlight. She sighed in relief as Princess Luna alighted before her.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Princess!” she said. “There’s a dangerous villain on the loose – been busy robbing the city’s party supply shops blind since you left for Trottingham!”

“Tell us more, Commissioner.”

“It’d be more appropriate fer me to show you, Princess.”

*/^oo^*

The floorspace of Swanky Soiree’s Event Emporium was littered with bare stands and upended shelving racks. All the windows had been broken, and the door hung on a single hinge. But the most striking feature of the room was its walls.

“None of this is the work of an ordinary criminal!”

Applejack gulped. “I was afraid o’that. I expected a message, but these here are just colourful brush strokes. The other stores are the same, and none o’ my detectives can make heads nor tails of any of it!”

Luna stared at the violent, diagonal lines of pink, blue, green and yellow paint all around her, and found she could do no better than Applejack’s detectives. Every time she thought she saw a letter, it was lost when she tried to find another, and the paint seemed to actively resist any mind’s attempt to form pictures from it. All she saw were lines, but they were more like splotches, and yet not splotchey enough to be lines. If Luna didn't know better, she'd have sworn the paint was swimming and changing before her very eyes.

“Do any establishments like this remain unmolested, Commissioner?”

“Only one – Jokester Blue’s Japery Barn.”

“Then we shall wait there tomorrow night.”

“I’ll set up a stakeout!”

“No – too risky. Whoever this pony is, they mustn’t suspect a trap. The element of surprise will be our only advantage.”

“...Very well then, your Highness. Good luck.”

*/^oo^*

After lowering the sun and lifting the moon, Princess Luna donned her faithful cloak made out of her faithful magic bats and strapped a utility sash – a new addition to her arsenal – over one shoulder. The sash contained a variety of useful tools in little pouches, from smoke bombs to flares – things that would have been a waste of energy to conjure up magically.

Giving the mirror one more resolute glare – but still not being able to shake off a pervading sense of unease – she spread her wings and glided out of a castle window, headed for Jokester Blue’s Japery Barn.

Once there, Luna teleported inside and hid herself among the rafters – it was fortunate for her that the Japery Barn so closely resembled its namesake, with its high ceilings and the faint smell of hay and workpony sweat.

Luna waited. She did not have to wait long.

CRACK! A loud splintering shattered the silence as the Japery Barn's large door was violently kicked apart. Luna's attention immediately focused on the light streaming in from the opening it had left – the multicoloured light.

Luna heard the loud flick of a switch, and loud, thumping music poured into the barn, shaking the walls and nearly knocking her from her perch. A large speaker wheeled inside, followed immediately by a ball-shaped device that cast lights of different colours all over the walls. Luna dove for cover behind a shelf.

“Who's ready to party?!” shouted a loud voice. "I know the Batemare is, because I can see her tail!"

Cursing inwardly, Luna rose from her poorly chosen cover and faced the intruder, scowling.

The intruder smiled, the edges of her mouth moving just a little bit too high. She was an earth pony with frizzy pink hair and a face that had been painted like a clown's, in two different – very familiar – shades of blue. Luna's breath caught in her throat.

“And how are you this super-duper, fantasterrific evening, Batemare? I'm having a ball, thanks for asking!”

“You. We have sought thee for months!”

“And you'll have to go on soughting for just a little while longer, because I'm gonna go away again right after I pick up a few essentials! But don't worry, you're still invited to the party!” Pinkie giggled.

Luna snarled and dropped into a fighting stance, ready to pounce. “Enough! Thou art coming with us!”

“You'll have to catch me first! Oh! We can make a game of it! Whoever catches a pony first gets to put them in jail!” Pinkie grinned manically, and then spun into a cartwheel. “I hope I it's me! Catching, that is, not getting caught!”

Luna swiped at her with a forehoof, missing. Pinkie came out of her cartwheel and tapped the Princess gently on the nose. “And it is! I win! I caught you! You have a right to remain loud! Everything you say can and will be ignored when I crank up the tunes!”

Her eyes flashing with mischief, Pinkie whipped a remote out of one of the patchwork saddlebags on her back and slammed its only button, making the music louder. The room shuddered, and Luna could barely hear herself think.

Pinkie's other forehoof was still on her nose. She swiped at it, missing again as it shot up and twiddled her ear.

“Hehehe!” Pinkie giggled. “You're so slow, Bat Princess! How could anyone want somepony so slow to be their princess? It just doesn't make any sense!”

Luna's head ached. “Why art thou doing this?”

Pinkie shrugged. “For fun, mostly. That, and parties, but parties are, like, the best fun! But you'll find out all about that soon enough!”

“The only thing we are going to find out is which jail cell thou shall sleep in tonight!”

“Witty! Super duper joke, Batemare – I think I might be rubbing off on you, hehe!”

Luna snarled. The loud party music was fast giving her a headache, and with her faculties thusly impaired she was having a hard time coming up with a plan to ensnare Pinkie. She was running out of time... still, there was always her signature move. Luna reached for the clasp around her neck.

“Uh, uh, uh, Batemare, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. But then, if I were you, I wouldn’t even have those bats in the first place! Too dreary! Have you ever considered getting a cloak made of confetti?”

Luna paused for just a moment, and an evil grin flashed across Pinkie’s face. With her inequinely fast reflexes, she reached over to the giant speakers and pulled a black cord hanging from their side.

There was a clank as the fake front of the bottom speaker fell off and clattered onto the floor. Behind it Luna could see the faint circular shape of a cannon barrel.

TSSSS. Too late, Luna heard a fuse burning. She dived for Pinkie.

BOOM!

“Argh!” Luna felt a pain in her side as something solid slammed into it.

“Tell me how you like the new cloak, Batemare!” Pinkie’s giggles filled Princess Luna’s ears as she drifted out of consciousness.

When Luna awoke an indeterminate amount of time later, Pinkie was long gone, having left only a destroyed shop and a mountain of vandalised playing cards in her wake. Luna scolded herself for being so easily defeated, and then left the shop, her cloak dragging across the dirty floor.

*/^oo^*

Commissioner Applejack was starting to get used to spinning around on the chair in her empty office and suddenly seeing it wasn't as empty as she supposed. She didn't even raise an eyebrow at Luna's sudden appearance in front of her.

“The perpetrator was the girl from the bank robbery, the first crime we ever stopped – our singular unbested nemesis. It is just as we suspected.”

Princess Luna had a way of talking to others as if she were delivering a monologue to an unseen audience. That, too, Applejack had become accustomed to.

“She is skilled, Commissioner!” Luna declared, biting back the bitterness in her voice. “Skilled and very dangerous. She brought us to our knees with lightening reflexes and devilish trickery. And when we eventually arose, the clownish vagrant had left with most of the Japery Barn’s stock in tow.”

“And you’re saying you think she’s Ms Pinkie Pie, from the bank robbery?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow. “Seems a mite bit odd ta me.”

Princess Luna said nothing. She had been just as perplexed at finding out that the dangerous party shop burglar was the same confused, well-intentioned young mare who’d escaped from that jail six months earlier and not been heard from since. Something terrible must have happened to her to trigger such a violent and frightening change in personality.

“Be vigilant, and inform us of future burglaries and similar crimes,” Luna said at last. “Thou knowest how to reach us.”

“You got it, your Majesty!” Applejack said, spinning in her chair. “If anythin’ turns up, you’ll be the first one to know.” And once again, she looked out on an empty office.

*/^oo^*

Luna was awoken from her mid-afternoon nap by the gentle touch of a hoof. She rolled over on her couch to stare up blinkingly at Pennyworth, her stout, dependable maidservant.

“There’s somepony interested in having audience with you, your Highness. Says she’s with the media.”

Rubbing one eye with a forehooves, Luna raised herself off her couch and quickly donned her royal horseshoes and crown. Between her reclusion in the past and the busyness of her new life, it had been a very long time since she’d held audience with anypony... over one thousand years, she realised. She hoped she wasn’t too rusty at it.

Luna trotted through the long, cavernous hallways of Canterlot Castle and soon came to the large, cavernous throne room. Even though it had fallen into disuse, the cleaning staff had kept its various furnishings and decorations immaculate, gleaming and dust-free. It was just how she remembered it.

Princess Luna took her seat in the rightmost of the two thrones at the far end of the room, averting her eyes from the other. Although her sister’s throne was no larger than her own, she felt as if it were casting a long, cold shadow over her.

The double doors opposite Luna’s throne glowed with unicorn magic and gradually opened. A pegasus mare with a green mane and a yellow coat entered the throne room and bowed low before Princess Luna.

“Rise, my subject,” Luna told her, momentarily wondering if she should have used her Royal Canterlot Voice, but then dismissing the thought. She was still tired. “State thy name and thy business.”

The yellow pony grinned widely. “My name is Truth Chaser, and I’m here to humbly request your Highness’s presence at an upcoming, very important media event in Canterlot City Hall.”

“About what?” Luna asked.

“Well, your Majesty, my colleagues and I were hoping you would see fit to honour us with the privilege of interviewing you, in your new capacity as a nation ruler unafraid to get her hooves dirty and personally stand up for the rights and well-being of this fair nation’s citizens. Ponies are interested in hearing your side of this story, Princess Luna, and my associates and I are interested in being the medium for you to tell it.”

Luna considered for a moment, scrutinising Truth Chaser’s too-wide smile. It would be an opportunity for her to gain some much-needed rapport with her ponies – rapport like she had had.

“We shall grant thy request!” Luna boomed.

“Thank you, your Highness! You won’t regret it!” Truth Chaser was ecstatic. “Be at the Canterlot City hall at six o’clock tomorrow night, and we’ll take care of the rest.”

Luna nodded, and Truth Chaser bowed lower than before and said her farewells. She fluttered out of the throne room on a cloud of joy, leaving Luna alone with her thoughts.

What was she to say to her subjects? A day earlier, she would have proudly reported her total dominance over crime and evil in Equestria, having never been bested by a villain. But after Pinkie Pie succeeded in committing robbery under her snout, she was unable to say that truthfully anymore.

She would be honest with her subjects, she decided. She would tell them of her victories over the past six months and of her imminent victory over Pinkie Pie, even while admitting her temporary defeat. Her little ponies would understand.

*/^oo^*

“Princess Luna! So glad you could make it! We’ve eagerly awaited your arrival! Please, follow me.” Truth Chaser bade her inside the city hall, still wearing her over-large smile.

Ponies bowed and greeted the Princess with “your Majesty”s and “your Highness”s as she followed Truth Chaser down a narrow hallway and into a small dressing room. Make-up ponies swarmed Luna and gently, apologetically, but still overwhelmingly puffed powder onto her face and polished her tiara.

“Show time in five!” called a voice through a crack in the door, and the makeup ponies hurried to finish Luna’s face before gracefully ushering her outside, where Truth Chaser led her further through the hallway, up some stairs and onto a stage.

Applause thundered through the crowd Luna had only just noticed. The city hall was packed to capacity, and all eyes were riveted on her.

“Yes, fillies and gentlecolts, it’s Princess Luna, Regent of the Night, Crowned Ruler of Equestria, and – most recently – Sworn Protector of Justice!” The unicorn stallion who had spoken ushered Luna to a cushion placed to one side of the desk he stood behind. He had a blue coat and a slicked-back, white mane.

Princess Luna waved to the crowd. “Greetings, citizens of Canterlot! Your Princess of the Night art overjoyed to meet with you this fine evening!”

“Please, have a seat, your Highness,” said the stallion. “Moving the sun and moon has got to be tiring work!”

As Luna passed by the stallion’s desk, he whispered, “Don’t think we’ve been introduced, your Highness. My name’s Piercing Insight.”

Luna nodded and took a seat on the cushion beside the desk, staring out at the audience. The applause died down, and every eye in the room focused on her, waiting.

“Your Majesty,” Piercing Insight began, speaking in a loud, clear voice, “tonight’s crowd of eager ponyfolk have all come here for one reason, and one reason alone: to hear what you have to say to them. With all due respect, your Highness has been reclusive for a very long time, and even now that you’re out championing our equine right to a safe and prosperous society every night, the ponies of Equestria feel that they don’t really know you, that they don’t really have a sense of the pony beneath the crown, the one behind the bats.”

Luna nodded understandingly, wistfully recalling the evenings she had spent helping Celestia read the hundreds of letters she received every day. She had not followed her sister's example of warmth and openness thus far, but that all would change this night.

“Then let our subjects bring their questions to us!” she shouted, grinning widely out at the audience.

Piercing adjusted the notes on his desk. “Excellent! I’ve gone ahead and prepared a few questions for you myself, based on what I understand are the public’s most pressing concerns, so let’s go through those, and then we’ll open to the floor.”

Luna nodded her consent.

“First question,” Piercing began, “what event spurred this sudden interest in fighting crime as a vigilante? Forgive any impertinance, but you’d been out of the public eye for many years, and your sudden appearance six months ago as the face behind the mysterious thwarter of a bank robbery came as quite a shock to myself, the rest of the media, and indeed the whole of Equestria and many of our neighbouring countries.”

“The answer is a simple one, my subjects,” Luna said. “We were privy to a conversation detailing the insidious bank-robbery plot the night before it happened. The two ponies involved were in the castle’s employ for a time before their transgression was committed. Furthermore, the blackguards intended to assume our visage to aid their scheme!”

Piercing nodded attentively, the corners of his mouth curving up slightly. “So you might say, your Highness, that your actions at the bank that day were in defence of your own royal image.”

The back of Luna’s neck prickled. She did not like Piercing's tone. “What dost thou mean to imply?”

A murmur went up from the crowd.

Piercing touched his snout with a forehoof before answering. “Nothing at all, your Majesty – I’m just trying to assemble the facts, as any good journalist would. The people want Princess Luna’s perspective on all this, they want your side of the story.”

Luna bit her lip. “Very well then. What is the next question?”

“Princess Luna,” Piercing asked, adjusting his spectacles, “does your new intensive crime-fighting schedule interfere at all with your royal duties? Some of your critics have –”

“Thou wouldst question thy Princess’s competence?” Luna asked, a fire kindling in her chest.

“Erm, well, yes,” Piercing stammered. “Princess Luna, let me be frank with you: you’ve been gone for fifteen years, and a thousand before that. Your esteemed sister is no longer with us. The Equestrian public are not as quick to defer to a Princess as they may have been back in your day. They have a right to know what's going on in the upper echelons of power, especially if they are to be expected to respect and trust that power, those upper echelons.”

Scattered gasps rippled through the audience. The fire within Luna blazed stronger, and her eyes hardened into a glare.

“We have lived and ruled for hundreds of years. We are more than capable of dividing our time among different duties and performing each one with diligence and skill.”

“Ooookay then,” Piercing Insight replied, shuffling his notes again. “Let’s go on to the next question.”

Jerkily, Luna’s head bobbed up and down on her neck in a stiff nod. So much of her wanted to tell Piercing off for his insolence and have him arrested for defamation, but she knew that would likely not win her any love from her ponies. The world had changed, and she would need to change with it, or go back to living reclusively in the past.

“Princess Luna,” Piercing began again, his voice falling into a now-familiar groove, “is it true that White Collar, the unicorn apprehended by your Highness for attempting to rob the First Equestrian Bank, had an accomplise who escaped?”

“Yes,” Luna replied curtly.

“And is it true that that accomplise was a young pink earth pony going by the name of ‘Pinkie Pie’?”

“That art also true.”

The left corner of Piercing’s mouth rose. “Is this Pinkie Pie, then, the same pony who now terrorises the party-supply shops of our fair city?”

“Yes,” Luna forced out, blowing air through her nostrils. “But we are hot on that villain’s trail.”

Just then, a pink blur of motion came into Luna’s view. PLUNK. Somepony had thrown a pink birthday cake with a single candle on it onto the far end of the stage. The candle burnt with a hissing, crackling sound.

Luna’s eyes widened in horror. The light on the candle went out. There was a loud POP, and the stage was suddenly full of pink smoke.

“Surprii-iise!” called a high-pitched, cheery voice.

The smoke cleared, and Luna saw Pinkie Pie standing on the opposite side of Piercing Insight’s desk, smiling at him. Her face was painted two shades of blue and a ratty purple coat hung off her back – it created a deranged, dangerous appearance.

“I hear you’re a fan,” she growled.

Luna sprang into action. “Freeze, scoundrel!”

“Freeze?” asked Pinkie. “But how can I freeze when you're so very hot on my trail, Batmare?”

That name again. Luna grimaced.

“Now, now,” said Pinkie, “let’s all just relax and have fun! We’re all friends here – such good friends that I even went to the trouble of coming here to throw you all a surprise party!”

Twin pops went off in the audience, and streamers fell around shrieking, transfixed ponies.

“It’s okay everypony,” Pinkie said to the crowd, “we’ll get to Pin the Tail on the Pony in just a tweensy-weensy moment! Just have to honour our birthday girl first!”

“It is not our birthday,” Luna growled.

Pinkie whipped a calendar out from inside her coat and glanced at it. “Close enough!” she said, discarding it behind her back. “But we’re not just celebrating your birthday today, Princess Batmare! We’re celebrating mine too!”

“Speakest not in riddles, knave!”

“Ooh! The Cunning and Devious Riddler’s birthday’s coming up soon as well! Thanks for reminding me, PB! I’ll send her your best wishes.”

“We grow impatient.” Luna’s horn was glowing softly, but she was hesitant to attack Pinkie, especially when so many other ponies might get caught in the middle. She well knew that her opponent was too resourceful to be so simply defeated.

“Fine, fine,” Pinkie droned, waving a dismissive hoof as she sauntered up to the desk Piercing Insight was shaking and shivering behind. “Today, exactly six months ago – it’s not a year, I know, but do I look like Calendar Mane? – you foiled a bank robbery. Your first bank robbery.”

Pinkie was right.

“And in so doing,” she continued, slowly moving her gaze across the frightened faces of the ponies in the audience, “created me.”

Everyone was silent.

“But that's not all she's done, fillies and gentlecolts! Nooo, not even close!” With the clumsy swipe of her hoof, Pinkie scooped up the sheaf of papers on Piercing’s desk and flipped through them, muttering to herself. “Breezy... Riddler... Penguin... yep, just as I thought!”

Much to his horror, Pinkie Pie roughly patted Piercing Insight on the head, just behind his horn. “Good job, Pokey! You were right on track, and I do love all the suspense and buildup you had planned for this, but I think I’ll cut to the chase for all the ponyfolk here tonight.”

Luna sucked in a deep breath.

“Ponies of Canterlot!” Pinkie Pie yelled at the audience. “For six months, your city and indeed the whole entire country of Equestria has been having a huge party! A huge super-villain party! You’ve got me, you’ve got Riddly, you’ve got that pony with the fans – and worst of all, you’ve got Batmare, the one pony you have to thank for starting it all!”

Gasps and protestations rippled through the crowd. Luna bit her tongue, still desperately trying to figure out if she could get the upper hoof on Pinkie without trotting straight into a trap.

“Don’t act so surprised, everypony!” Pinkie continued. “It’s not like it wasn’t obvious. I mean, did you have any of these supervillains before Her Royal Battiness took to the streets?”

The crowd grumbled. Luna had to do something fast.

“That’s what I thought,” Pinkie said. “But it’s nothing to grumble about! Thanks to Princess Luna, I’m organising a huge party for everypony in Equestria! You’ll find invitations under your seats – and here’s one for you, Batemare.”

In a flash of pink movement, a white card shot from Pinkie’s jacket and landed at Luna’s hooves. She looked down.

You are cordially invited to Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie’s

PARTY IN TARTARUS

Bring a friend!

“Please do bring a friend!” Pinkie implored the audience. “Friends are the greatest thing in the world! I was going to bring my best friend, but sadly little Pipsqueak will be in no condition to at-attend...” Pinkie went silent for a moment, her crazed grin faltering. “But that’s okay, I’ve got you, Batmare!”

“When’s the party starting?” somepony shouted from the crowd.

Pinkie looked at her watchless left wrist. “Right... about... now.”

THUD. The room shook from a sudden violent thumping somewhere outside. Luna thought for a moment that it was an earthquake.

“Yay!” Pinkie’s face lit up with an all-too-wide grin. “Our first special guest has arrived!”

At the words “special guest”, Luna was already in the air, seeking the nearest window.

“Batmare’s very excited to meet our special guest, and so she should be! I think they’ll get on famously!”

[Luna will return in the exciting conclusion: I Am The Night Part III: Nightfall]

Part III: Nightfall

I AM THE NIGHT

by Ezn

PART III
NIGHTFALL

THE PRINCESS of the Night ran to edge of the stage, her wings already flapping for a swift takeoff. She leapt from the stage and towards the source of the terrible thudding noise. Ponies screamed and ran beneath her.

“Stay calm, my faithful subjects!” she cried in vain. “We shall protect thee this night! Do not be afraid!”

The screaming continued. To Luna’s ears, it seemed to grow louder. But not quite loud enough to drown out the THUD THUD THUD that continued to dominate the auditorium’s soundscape.

Finally, Luna rose high enough to see the source of the noise. And as she did so, her blood ran cold.

The creature looming over the stage was taller than any living thing she’d seen before. And yet she knew exactly what it was, and where it had come from. This was Ulrothar, exiled God-King Dragon of the times before even her reign. And, somehow, he had escaped his bondage deep in Tartarus.

Somehow, even though she was hundreds of metres above the stage of the open-air auditorium, Luna heard the cackling laughter of Pinkie Pie and knew exactly who was to blame.

The great crimson dragon roared to the heavens, his rows of enormous teeth glinting in the moonlight. And then his deafening roar was followed by a torrent of red, angry fire. Fire that was slowly lowering directly over Luna’s head.

Luna swiftly banked to the side, feeling the intense heat of the column of fire as it just missed her. Smoke rose from the feathers on the edge of her closest wing.

The column continued descend. It was heading right for the auditorium.

“Run! Run my little ponies” Luna bellowed, using every muscle in her throat to project her voice further.

The ponies on the ground were already in a sufficiently panicked state to already be running in two directions away from the column of fire, and so as it came into contact with the ground and turned the grass to ashes, Luna heard no screams of agony.

Now that her ponies were out of immediate danger, Luna’s top priority was to dispatch the enormous dragon somehow. She looked up at the source of the fire, the enormous scaly head that now hung over the auditorium. Her bat cloak flapped uselessly across her back. Even she, Goddess of the Celestial Spheres, was powerless to stop so ancient and terrible a force as Ulrothar.

“Not feeling so hot now, are we, bats?” asked a sneering voice from the ground. Pinkie Pie stood upside down, balanced on her front hooves, and then flipped around onto her back hooves. “Don’t worry, you’ll be feeling plenty hot in just a moment!” Pinkie collapsed into a giggling fit at this.

“You foal!” shouted Luna. “Can’t you see you’ll also perish!”

Pinkie stopped giggling. From her position lying on the floor, she looked up, directly into Princess Luna’s eyes. Any trace of malice or laughter was gone from her expression. Her eyes were empty. “That’s the difference between us, your Battyness. You care.”

Pinkie hopped back onto her hindhooves, and then sprung into a cartwheel. “And I don’t. You took that from me.”

The column of flame continued across the grass. Pinkie’s cartwheel tumbled jauntily on. The two came closer, and closer.

Luna shot back up into the sky as Pinkie disappeared into the blaze. Her vision was blurred with tears.

The fire stopped abruptly, and Ulrothar lifted his head. He growled at the tiny black speck flying in the air in front of him, using a claw to swipe at it, missing. He lifted his gigantic foot and took a step forward, flattening the auditorium’s stage.

Luna fired a volley of offensive magic at Ulrothar, just to watch it glance off his hide. All of her most powerful spells she fired, and none was so much as acknowledged.

Luna could see all too clearly what was coming. Ulrothar was ruthless and without compassion or feeling. He could not be talked to, could not be reasoned with. The legends of him spoke of cities, nations, continents that had been razed before he was stopped and locked in the depths of Tartarus. The legends did not say how this was accomplished. Luna knew that Equestria would be destroyed.

She knew she could not stop Ulrothar. She knew there was no hope for Equestria or her ponies. But then a thought came into her head. A nasty, evil thought of the kind she had learnt to banish immediately on thinking. But in this case, she let the thought linger. Nothing was so terrible as the destruction of Equestria.

Nothing.

You know that I have the power, her thoughts whispered. You know I’m your only chance.

*/^oo^*

Time seemed to slow down around Luna as she closed her eyes and retreated into her mind. She hung, suspended in midair, the great dragon Ulrathor a frozen, open-mouthed statue before her. To save Equestria from Ulrathor’s fire, I shall need to use every resource in my power. This is not surrender. She has been vanquished once before - her grip is not unbreakable. I will save Equestria, first from the dragon, and then from myself.

A bolt of lightning shot down from the sky, originating from no cloud. The bolt hit Princess Luna, electrifying her mane and coat. White cords of electricity snaked and cracked around her. The moon shook in the sky, and even Ulrathor had to pause to look up at the sky.

Princess Luna had gone into her meditation by closing her eyes. Now Nightmare Moon opened them.

*/^oo^*

“Yes, Ulrathor, it is I, the Nightmare!” said Nightmare Moon, newly restored and hovering in front of the great dragon’s eyes, standing atop a cloud of magical energy. “You are an ancient and terrible beast, but I have haunted you since you were a mere hatchling. The Nightmare has ruled the land since before your kind was a twinkling in the creator’s eye.”

Ulrathor’s entire body was shaking with fear, and his whimpers could be heard across Canterlot. Ponies who had not already gotten up to watch the spectacle atop on their balconies and in the streets were arriving now to witness the change of circumstances.

“And now, Ulrathor, I will take my Equestria from you.”

Nightmare Moon’s horn shone, and a whirlwind of magic spread around Ulrathor, growing faster and tighter, until no scale or tooth could be seen beneath the whirlwind of dark magic. And then, with very little ceremony, the whirlwind lifted off the ground and shot up into the air, a glistening dark comet heading with great speed and little noise towards the gates of Tartarus.

Some ponies began to clap and cheer, but the applause died when the Nightmare Moon hovered into the townsponies’ sight, staring down at them with contempt. Even the ponies who had been convinced that no difference existed between Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna found themselves noticing something strange and new in their Princess’s appearance and demeanor.

“Bow before me, ponies, for I am Nightmare Moon,” she boomed. “Under my rule, all ponies shall love and obey me, and the night shall last forever!”

A terrified gasp rose from the assembly. Nightmare Moon narrowed her cruel eyes at her new subjects. “Who dares to raise their voices against me, Supreme Ruler of all Equestria?! A queen is to be adored, not shrieked at like a freak!”

Nightmare Moon’s starry mane crackled with electricity as she grew angrier, and the crowd stifled a second gasp. She growled at them and dug her hoof into the roof she stood on. A roofing tile cracked.

Startled at this, Nightmare Moon tottered, drawing up the hoof that now hung in empty space. But she brought the hoof up too violently, overcompensated, and tottered wildly before losing her balance. The electricity in her mane flared briliantly and then shorted out like a dead lightbulb. She fell from the roof.

Moments later, a series of THUDs were heard. The crowd rushed around to the side of the building where Nightmare Moon had fallen. Their collective gaze moved from a dented dumpster lid to a tangled heap of blue limbs. The inky black coat of Nightmare Moon was nowhere to be seen - in its place lay a dishevelled and disorientated Princess Luna, her cloak tangled up in her legs and her crown lying in the dirt.

The crowd was still. Nopony moved to assist or to assault the Princess.

Slowly, shakily, Luna raised herself up. Wearily, she looked upon her subjects, who stared at her with mixed feelings of fear, suspicion and confusion. She opened her mouth, but could not find the energy to speak with her usual boisterous Royal Canterlot bellow, and so croaked out, “W-we have triumphed over the Nightmare. Be not afraid, my little ponies.”

Just as she had finished uttering those words, she felt a sharp pain in her head. Blackness overtook her vision and she felt her limbs lengthen once more. A deep cackle sounded in her head, and she felt the touch of cool metal upon her scalp. “A Nightmare,” she felt herself saying, “is not so easily vanquished.”

But then the darkness cleared, and her limbs withered once more to their natural length. The ponies before her now had only confusion in their eyes.

The voice of the Nightmare in Luna’s head panicked, its tone warbling in and out of audibility. Spots of darkness grew and contracted over her coat, and her vision dimmed and brightened, first in one eye, and then the other.

Luna at last came to terrible realisation. Taking one last look at the aghast faces of her subjects, she turned tail and galloped from their presence, lurching hideously on her uneven and ever-changing limbs.

She left her crown forgotten in the dust.

*/^oo^*

Working late one night, Commissioner Applejack looked up from her papers to identify the source of a sudden breeze in her office. In the wake of the Princess’s disappearance, the aristocracy, already greatly weakened since the days of Princess Celestia, had been toppled from their position of power, and the government of Equestria was in a state of flux. This led to a massive upswing in crime. Applejack had dark rings under her eyes, and had to squint to see her papers, illuminated by candlelight, as Canterlot’s power supply had become intermittent.

She was just then busy with the paperwork for the latest attempted robbery on the First Bank of Canterlot. It was a strange case, as the masked robber had held the bank up at gunpoint, traumatised its clients and workers, committed gratuitous damage to the premises, and then left without stealing any money. What made it even stranger was the arrival of an unmarked bag the day after, addressed to the bank’s management. The bag was filled with gold and treasures, amounting to many times the cost of the damage done to the bank’s property.

Applejack looked up from these papers to see a dark shape in her shadowy office – one which hadn’t been there before. Its dark blue mane flapped in the wind from the open window.

“P-Princess Luna?” Applejack stammered. “Where in tarnation have you been? Err... your Highness.”

“We have been occupied,” said Luna, her voice lower and raspier than usual. “We trust that thou hast held up the iron hoof of the law in these past months.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” Applejack replied. “I’ve been doin’ just the best that I can. But it’s not easy, what with your Highness’s abdication and all.”

“It would be harder still,” the Princess rasped, “had I not abandoned the throne.”

“Forgive me, Princess, but I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

The office was silent for a moment, and then Applejack gasped as her Princess stepped into the flickering light of her candle. Before Applejack stood a lopsided creature, its right side higher than its left, and its coat a splotchy mess of blue and black. But what shocked Applejack most was the creature’s face.

From the left ear to just past the left nostril, the face of Princess Luna held her gaze with that familiar stoic expression. But past the left nostril, a black rash covered the face, and the vicious turquoise eye of Nightmare Moon glared at her.

“We are here,” Luna said, “to confess to a crime. It was us, under the influence of the Nightmare, who sabotaged the track of the Canterlot monorail, causing the destruction of the train.”

Applejack gasped. She knew the case.

“It was also us who saved the train’s passengers by teleporting them all out before the train hit the ground.”

Luna thumped her own forehoof down on the Commissioner’s desk. “Arrest us now, that we might no longer continue this tormented game of destruction and mitigation.”

Applejack produced her cuffs, looking mournfully at the Princess as she brought them to her forehoof. Then, suddenly, a sharp breath blew out the candle on the desk, and the office plunged into darkness.

Once Applejack succeeded in relighting the candle, her office was empty, and she was sitting, cuff between her teeth, with nopony to arrest. Applejack shuddered, and continued on with her work. Perhaps the whole meeting had just been a waking nightmare, the symptom of too little sleep. But then she looked down at the papers which detailed her bank robbery case, with its unexpected happy ending.

Applejack sighed. Once again, something powerful and dangerous was loose in Canterlot, and the ponies of the city could look only to Princess Luna for any hope of stopping it. And once again, that danger had been brought about by the Princess herself.

Under the cover of night, awkward hooves galloped down the street, away from the police station, and away from Canterlot, but turning around again every few minutes.

THE END

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