Dogfight Squadron

"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his."

                                           - General George S. Patton

       I don't like waking up. Leaving the warm embrace of a bed, it's probably the worst part of the day. The best? Going back.

       So naturally, I was pissed when air raid sirens began blaring. Dragging myself to Spitfire's office, I grilled her on how demonstration teams don't need air raid sirens, and that these trainees couldn't hope to defend successfully against an actual fighting force.

       When I asked her why they were on in the first place, she got cold hooves.

       Apparently, there's another alicorn that's marrying some Royal guard. Twilight's brother, I found out.

       There also happened to be a massive attack on Canterlot at the moment.

       Throwing another fit about the unpreparedness of the Equestrian military, I got the whole team together for a wartime scramble. When Spitfire ordered me to stand down, I told her to hell with our orders, there were innocent lives at stake.

        And that's how we ended up over Canterlot, half an army Air Force on our asses.

        "Break, break!"

        Splitting up, we did our best to shoot the suckers on our tails, ripping any of those weird bug things that crossed our path.

        Finding a bigger version in my tail that I couldn't shake off, Jon came to the rescue, doing a head on. I dove away, and Jon blew the mutant up.

        Then, he blew up.

        *sniff*

         Didn't even get to say goodbye.

         The Citation was the next to go. Engine one flaming, the entire crew was killed when it slammed into the mountainside.

           Jeff, he lived. But he was in his final ropes.

           His landing gear had been shot out, his engine dead. Not wanting him to go too, I rolled over and put out my gear, stuck it into the empty landing gear bays, and firewalled the throttle, all against his objections. And flew home like that.

          Landing soon came, and still against his objections, set my plane upside down on the ground with the Skyraider on top. The tail of the tiny jet was sheared off in a shower of sparks, and the body was slammed to the side, taking off the shot up attack fighter's left wing. I continued to tumble, still not knowing what was happening yet.

         The ejection seat misfired just when the broken jet was upside down, and I was slammed into the ground. The last thing I saw was the dirt coming at my face.

                                         ----------------------------------------------

         When I finally awoke, I saw Jeff sitting in a chair next to the bed.

        "Okay, good news and bad news. The good is that we're national heroes. The bad? There's a slight chance that you have a minor case of major brain damage. You're a fucking idiot, you know that?"

         "We're both alive, are we not?"

         "If you died, I would have never forgiven myself."

         "Well, I'm your older cousin, that's what I do." I turned my attention to the others.

         There was a white unicorn with a cutie mark similar to Twilight's, and probably her brother. Another was a pink alicorn with a heart shaped cutie mark. Must be the newlyweds.

         "Eh, so, um, thanks...?" The white one spoke.

         "You in the guard?"

         The poor pony shrunk away a bit. "Um, yes, I was the captain."

         "Do you ponies have any higher ranks?"

         The pink alicorn spoke softly. "Equestria hasn't had an offensive military in over seven thousand years."

         "That explains a lot. Sargent Joseph "Acheron" Xu. I'm Asian, don't judge me."

         "Captain/Prince Shining Armor. Equestrian."

         We shook hooves/hands.

         "If you need anything, you have the Crystal Empire's full backing."

         "Thanks."

         They left, but held the door for some very familiar faces, save a purple lizard.

         "Hey, buddy."

         "You talk?"

         He nodded proudly. "But you're the reason I'm here. Who are you?"

         "Who am I? That's a good question. Well, I'm-"

         "Darling, those flight suits are simply a disgrace to fashion!" Rarity, I believe, cut in.

         "They're drab olive for a reason." I paused, then a smile slowly crept onto my face. "But, may I interest you guys in Red Bull Air Racing?"

          "What's that?"

          "Time trials."

          Rainbow looked at me devilishly.

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