Twilight's Horn Can't Stop Growing
The Crystal Castle kitchen was usually a peaceful place for Spike. Well, only when Twilight’s friends weren’t there devouring all his delicious snacks and not even respecting the word ‘silence’. It’s pretty peaceful and quiet when there’s just him. This was one of the rare times Spike had the kitchen to himself. All the delicious treats at his disposal.
Although, despite the permit of ‘dig in’ by Twilight mere minutes ago, Spike decided to save the food for later. After all, he just ate a rather filling lunch and did not feel like putting anything else in his stomach apart from a glass of water which actually stood in front of him waiting to be drank as its crystal clear reflection make it an amazing sight. He sat down on the dinner table, contemplating the wonderful sun view and wind breeze.
Having a completely dry mouth after devouring a sufficient amount of sweets, he didn’t waste any time in drinking. However, Spike’s romantic moment with a glass of water went to an abrupt end as his huge gulp didn’t reach its destination. Thanks to Twilight, of course.
“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIKEEE!!!”
Spike began coughing as he tried to swallow while trying to remain calm from Twilight’s sudden and unexpected shout.
He turned to see the Alicorn princess rush down the stairs. “Ye-,” Spike coughed again, as he struggled to speak. “Yes?”
Twilight had a rather small anxious look. Okay, she actually had a pretty noticeable anxious look. The type of look that makes anypony with a clear sense of mind backup just in case some… damage occurred.
“Spike! Do I look different to you?” Twilight was sweating. It’s been a long time since she did that which only made Spike sweat as well.
Spike tried to find a reason to why she would think she looked different. Not only because he had, what seemed to be a rather unstable Twilight Sparkle in the castle, but also, he couldn’t bear choking on another glass of water again.
Her mane was a bit ruffled and her coat as well but apart from that, Twilight looked the same as always. He came up with nothing unusual and shrugged. “No, Twilight. You look fine to me.”
“LIES! IT’S ALL LIES!” Twilight ran outside.
Spike didn’t really know what to do so he just raised an eyebrow and walked back to the dinner table where his glass of water was still fairly full. He decided to make the best of it, and drank it all.
Twilight came back in. “LIEEES!” She went back out.
Spike spat out the water in surprise and continuously coughed. “Oh-come on!”
Twilight’s been feeling this itch on her horn for half an hour now. And, only from the lucky find of a book which held information of such itch, she noticed her horn was growing. Not like the sudden growth when she transformed into an Alicorn. This is the type of growth that’s continuously lengthening her horn every minute. Well… to be exact, it’s actually growing every single second. This fact wasn’t helping Twilight’s nerves one bit.
Oh, Celestia! What should I do? Should I go to Canterlot and ask the princesses? I’m sure they’ll have some spell that can fix this mess!
“Hey… Twilight.”
No, I can’t do that, what if my horn falls of if I use it?
“Hellooo… you there?
Maybe I should take the long way, go there by train.
“Twilight…”
Bad idea, my horn would already look ridiculous by the time I get there!
“TWILIGHT!”
Twilight jumped as she just noticed Rainbow Dash’s presence. She felt happy, yet still worried.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight took a few quick steps forward.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t resist the urge of backing up. “Uhh… yes, Twilight?
“I have a horn problem!”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought horn problems were only for stallions.”
Twilight gently shook her head in confusion. “What? Don’t you know there are Unicorn stallions as well?”
Rainbow put the pieces together which ultimately led a tone of red appear on the mare’s cheeks. “Oh, you mea- you mean Unico-“ Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Yes! That’s exactly what I meant by horns.”
Twilight was curious. “Why did you say it was only for stallions, then?”
Rainbow found herself in a tight position. “Because…” Rainbow tried to muster up an excuse. “I… I forgot there were… I forgot there were mares?”
Now Twilight’s eyebrow was raised. “But you’re a mare.” She pointed at Rainbow.
Rainbow glanced right and left not long before making a fake smile. “I forgot I was a mare?”
Twilight didn’t have time for this. “That doesn’t matter! What matters is that my horn can’t stop growing!”
Rainbow directed her gaze to Twilight’s head. It seemed normal apart from the rather ruffled hairstyle she got going there, Rainbow didn’t seem to catch anything unusual about Twilight’s horn.
“I don’t know, Twilight.” Rainbow shrugged. “I don’t really notice any difference.”
Twilight gave Rainbow a rather annoyed look. The sole fact that Rainbow Dash wasn’t even acknowledging the problem made Twilight’s irritation rise.
“Of course you don’t notice it! According to my calculations, my horn is growing zero point zero zero forty-two centimetres per minute!”
Rainbow held herself from making one of her egghead jokes. Luckily, she prevented the sudden blurp of annoyance as she realized those jokes have already gone stale.
“Well…what do you want me to do about it? You know I’m not a unicorn, Twilight.”
Those words hardly processed in Twilight’s mind as she searched for another pony to request help from. She didn’t know why since she had Rainbow Dash in front of her. It was probably her subconscious mind telling her that Rainbow is useless when it comes to solving magic related problems.
Fortunately, her eyes fixed on a certain green unicorn trotting around the fields with another pony. Twilight, on instinct, scooted to their direction.
“I’m telling you Lyra, there’s no way we’re moving to the Crystal Empire just because you want to see some weird portal,” Bon Bon shook her head.
Lyra kicked a pebble then looked back at her marefriend. “Come on, Bon Bon! This could lead to huge advances in my Anthropology career! Imagine… the portal to the human world up close! Think of all the things I could study from it!”
“Think of all the things that can go wrong,” Bon Bon interrupted. “I’m pretty sure you would straight up step inside the portal without hesitation. And I don’t want to lose you just because of a silly portal,” Bon Bon stated as she had a quick view of the plain grass. At her surprise, she spotted a small purple speck slowly getting larger and larger. Although, she didn’t really pay attention to it. “And plus,” She continued. “We’re not even sure if such portal exist. According to the information we have, it’s all just a bunch of rumours.”
Lyra’s sigh led her own gaze towards a purple speck. The same one Bon Bon spotted mere seconds ago. It seemed to be a unicorn. Well, that’s all Lyra could make of it thanks to the easy sight of her horn. Even though Bon Bon didn’t seem to care, Lyra was rather sure she noticed it.
“Hey, umm, Bon Bon? Who’s that?” Lyra didn’t need to point. Her gaze was all Bon Bon needed to understand as to what she was referring to.
“I don’t know. It looks like Pinkie Pie.”
“What makes you think it’s Pinkie? She’s pink.”
“Okay, well, maybe she had a tan or got her coat dyed purple or something.” Bon Bon looked closer. “How else would you explain the incredibly fast running?”
Lyra had hoof to chin. She shook her head. “I don’t know… it looks like-“ Lyra was immediately cut off as her face was covered with the purple and magenta aura of Twilight’s teleportation spell.
“LYRA!” Twilight shouted.
Lyra stumbled to the ground for a few seconds upon collision. Rather frazzled and shocked, she tried to remain calm in front of Royalty. She got back up from the sudden impact, still with dilated pupils and confused mind while trying to process what just happened. “Uhh… yes? Princess?”
Twilight went closer. “You know magic! Help me!”
“Help you with what?” If she needs help with anything, it would be with her mental issues. Why would the princesses even make Twilight an Alicorn? Lyra’s thoughts ran inside her own head, however, the previous thoughts of complaints were now replaced with ones of worry as she just remembered just how powerful Alicorns are. “Ah! Did you hear that?”
Twilight’s worried look dropped to a confused one… again. “Hear what?”
Lyra was sweating. “Please don’t tell me you can read thoughts!”
“What? No!” Twilight shook her head. “Why would you even ask that? Were you thinking about something private?”
Lyra scratched her mane as she decided to go with the flow and pretend. “Yeah… that was exactly what I was thinking about. Something private.” Lyra’s eyes widened once again. “Crud! Can you tell if somepony is lying or not?”
Lyra immediately regretted asking that and Bon Bon just facehooved. Twilight was a bit suspicious about Lyra’s behaviour. Although, she let it be as she had more urgent matters to worry about.
“Look girls, I need help with a horn problem and-“
“Woah woah woah WOAH…” Lyra interrupted. “Hang on a minute.” She looked around in search of something but she came up with nothing. She nudged Bon Bon. “Psst… where’s the popcorn?”
“Where’s your brain?” Bon Bon asked sharply.
“In my head! You know? Where my horn is?”
Bon Bon laid her hoof on her own forehead. “Lyra! Your horn is ON TOP of your head. Not in it.”
Twilight stepped forward. “Actually, according to pony anatomy, our visible horn is only three quarters of our whole horn. The one quarter can be found inside the Frontal Lobe of the brain which connects to various nervous systems allowing-“
“Let me just stop you right there, Princess and point out that your horn is looking fairly… unusual today.” Bon Bon pointed just above Twilight’s head, where her horn was.
Twilight, upon looking up, noticed her horn grew slightly in size. It wouldn’t be long until it would be completely noticeable.
This did nothing but worry her even more. She rushed towards Lyra and grabbed her by her shoulders. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I need help!”
Lyra, keeping in mind that Twilight is a princess, gently escaped her grasp. “Calm down, your highness. I think the best thing to do is to go to Canterlot and ask for help from Celestia or Luna.”
“But don’t you see?! It will be too late by the time I get there!”
“Then… I don’t know… ask… ask Derpy?”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Out of all the ponies, in all of Ponyville, why would she go ask Derpy for help?” She asked Lyra.
Lyra crossed her hooves. “Well… she always finds out a way to solve a problem even though she doesn’t realize she found it.”
“Give me an example.”
Lyra thought for a few seconds. Not long after, she remembered. “Remember that time when I hid my sandwich? And I didn’t remember where?”
That wasn’t what Bon Bon expected. “You what?! First of all, why would you hide your sandwich?!”
“For it to hibernate.”
Bon Bon remained speechless. She didn’t really know what to say. But luckily the awkward silence was broken by Twilight.
“Thank you girls for the help, regardless. I got to fix this trouble!” Twilight ran towards the town, still in search of somepony to help her.
“Bye! Don’t forget to wear socks!” Lyra waved cheerfully.
Bon Bon tried to muster some goodbyes to say to Twilight but it was hard to do after hearing what Lyra just said. After making sure Twilight was already long gone, she slowly turned her head to Lyra. “How long did you sleep last night?”
“I didn’t,” Lyra answered flatly.
“Why?!”
Lyra cleared her throat. “Because, you see… last night, I went to bed pretty early, actually. But, the thing is, I couldn’t remember whether I left the cooker on or not. I wanted to check but I was too lazy to get up.”
Lazy? Too lazy? Is she serious?! “Really? So how did you check if it was on or not?”
“I stayed up all night waiting for a fire to happen. There was no fire in the end which meant I turned it off.” Lyra smiled. “Aren’t I smart?”
Bon Bon just stared.
“Umm… Bon Bon?”
Even if Twilight wanted to search for Derpy for some help, she wouldn’t be able to. The cross-eyed Pegasus was fairly busy delivering mail during the day so it was almost impossible to reach her as she sped across Ponyville. From house to house, from doorstep to doorstep.
Twilight gave up trying to find anypony in Ponyville for help. She decided to take the long trip to Canterlot by train. She was fairly traumatized to fly with a spell on and even more to teleport directly there as she didn’t know what other side effects using magic or flight could give her while having this ‘horn problem’.
She galloped towards the train station only to hear the train whistle go off and the steam engines starting. She was still rather far away from the train which made it impossible for her to catch up to it. Despite knowing that she will be missing it, she still galloped there as fast as possible.
The train station was empty, save for a couple of guards who stood on each side of the station’s entrance. To Twilight’s surprise, one of the guards seemed familiar. As there was no train to board, she decided to find out for sure if it’s the guard she knows.
“Strafe Blitz? What are you doing here?” Twilight’s hoofsteps came to a halt as she stopped in front of the two guards.
“Princess Twilight! Nice to see you’re here. Captain Solar sent me and a few other squadrons to Ponyville after… some incident.”
Twilight was much curious. So curious that she even forgot about her horn thing. “Oh? What was the incident?”
“Some books caught fire for some reason… I have no idea why. There were no civilian casualties, luckily. It was probably some accident in a bar fight or something but Celestia wanted to send us here just in case.”
Twilight slowly nodded. However, upon looking at the other guard which appeared to be a female Bat Pony, she recognized her as well. She has appeared most of the time in the castle, guarding the hallways and chambers at night. Red Charm.
Twilight wasn’t actually going to say anything if it wasn’t for Charm’s expression being rather… unusual. Like she was taking the neutral guard expression to the next level.
“Red Charm? Are you alright?”
Charm remained silent. Her eyes were fairly open and her head didn’t move an inch since Twilight got there. She’s basically staring at one particular direction the whole time. It was definitely weird.
Suddenly, Blitz intervened. “Red Charm is fine, Princess.” He said smiling. “She’s just a bit… out of it.” He stopped momentarily as he stared at Twilight’s horn. Not long after, he came to his senses and pretended like he didn’t see anything.
Twilight rolled her eyes, yet she was fairly thankful for him not mentioning it.
Suddenly, the train arrived.
“Oh, got to go. Good to see both of you.”
Blitz slightly waved. “Goodbye, Princess.”
Twilight entered the train while receiving a few stares from the passengers. The train’s doors closed rapidly and the steam engine began. The coal powered machine took its time to advance but finally, it was on route to Canterlot.
As the train became less and less visible, Red Charm suddenly shook her own head slightly. She blinked a few times and turned to Blitz. “Did anypony notice?”
Blitz shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
There was silence between both of them for a few seconds. Nothing could be heard but the gusts of wind and falling leaves.
“I envy you,” Blitz said.
“And why is that?”
Blitz turned to Charm. “You get away with sleeping with your eyes open.”
Luna always thought Celestia was a bit too serious when she is around friends or her students. Sure she has an image to keep up but Celestia was hardly ever seen publicly laughing and cheerfully chatting with ponies. Even when she is privately speaking with her sister, they hardly chat about interesting topics that aren’t about Economic problems or Society issues in general.
“Thou art way too serious, sister.”
Celestia sighed. “Does it make any difference, Luna?”
Luna nodded. “Thy skills has't been bestowed around Equestria and citizens expect the best from thee. This may not be very important to you sister but it majorly assists in boosting the population morale.”
“But, how about you?”
“We clearly do not have as much exposure as thee.” Luna smiled. “Thou just needest to… lighten up and be funny.”
Just on cue, Twilight came running towards the princesses. There was no doubt in both of their minds that Twilight had gotten herself in a pickle as her horn was now a whole one metre long. So long that she needed to lower her head to avoid contact with the hallway ceiling. Thanks to the train having some ‘technical difficulties’ on her way to Canterlot, it was clear that this was far from Twilight’s lucky day.
However, Celestia, keeping in mind what Luna just told her, approached Twilight smiling. “Ahh, my faithful student. It seems that your… horn is growing… if you know what I mean.” Celestia nudged Twilight while smiling. Her student wasn’t happy at the slightest. “No, no, that was a bad one… let me think.” Her thoughts piled up in her brain. “Faithfull student… I see you’ve… got the horn, haven’t you?” She paused, making a shy grin as Twilight was not the slightest bit amused. “No? Think I can do better? Okay just give me a minute.” Celestia walked aside as she thought
Luna, after giving her sister an annoyed look, approached the purple Alicorn. “What happened, Twilight?” Luna asked.
“I drank a Skizze Flower beverage and then this happened! I don’t know what to do!”
Luna thought for a few seconds just before she came with an answer. “This… Skizze flower is a real pain in the flank, Twilight. It can be confused as an innocent drink. It obviously isn't making it the equivalent of Discord being stuck with you for a whole day. This can be easily cured with a simple trip to the doctor. Haven’t thou tried that?”
Twilight felt embarrassed. “All this time… I just needed to go to the doctor?” She slapped her forehead. “Gee… that was dumb of me.”
“Fear not, Princess. Thy presence here is not wasted. Canterlot hospitals are one of the best, so we can assure thee that thou will not enter this… ‘pickle’ again.”
“Thanks, Luna.” Twilight smiled.
Celestia trotted back to them. “Okay, how is this?” She cleared her throat. “My beloved protégé Twilight, I am afraid you’ve gotten too…” She put on her sunglasses. “Horn-y to be my student.”
Twilight’s smile was a short-lasting one, as it dropped to a frown.
Luna trotted towards her sister. “Okay, never mind the jokes, Tia. Just be thyself.”
Celestia lowered her look, making her eyes visible. “Can I keep the sunglasses?”
Author's Note
And yet another awkward situation involving the princesses. What's with me and doing comedy fics always starring them? Huh. Probably because they're so fun to write. I'll do a comedy fic starring somepony else sooner or later.
Hope you enjoyed the read!
