The Final Worst Possible Thing
Rarity had had enough. And understandably, too. In the past few weeks she'd very nearly been given a heart attack by her younger sister, under the assumption that Sweetie Belle had been sleeping around with some young colt and initiating a night life career that would have required a move to the other side of Equestria and a series of name changes. That had been followed by a ridiculously uncouth attempt to tarnish her own name that had required swift action which nearly put Rainbow Dash in the hospital.
Consequently, she was done. She was so done.
Rarity had packed up a small gathering of personal traveling items in an elaborately decorated saddlebag, closed up the Boutique for the day with an emergency apology notice, and left Ponyville. The nearest town was only a couple of miles away, a trek that was next to nothing for a creature of equine origin. Along the way, she attempted to think of all the unpleasant or ill favored things she had ever done in her life, trying to pinpoint the one which had apparently caused her to be worthy of such disgraceful accidents that had come so close to ruining her name.
Upon reaching the town, she gave only a casual glance at the signpost advertising the town's name.
WELCOME TO LARSONVILLE
"What a dreadful name," Rarity muttered to herself, and walked across the town line. She was immediately met by a friendly mare, who waved to her as she entered the small town.
"Good evening!" The mare called, and Rarity returned the greeting in kind.
Rarity did not know the layout of this down very well, but one of the first buildings she saw appeared to be a cafe of some kind. A fenced off area outside featured a few mares sitting together and eating sandwiches underneath tacky peach colored umbrellas. A glance above the door revealed the sign, featured in large, worn wooden letters.
The Salt Lick
Rarity frowned. How quaint. Still, she didn't see anything wrong with the place, and entered through the saloon styled, swinging doors. The inside had a log cabin feel to it, wooden beams and supports, a large fireplace in the back that was not currently being used. Off to the side a bar was sectioned off from the rest of the cafe by a long counter that ran almost the entire length of the wall.
A mare looked up from the table she was sitting at, and smiled at her. "Well good evening, sweetie. Aren't you pretty?"
Rarity smiled at this despite herself, she WAS pretty and she darn well knew it, but it was nice of others to notice.
She took a seat at the counter, and the stallion behind it turned to face her. She made a face at once. His trousers were ridiculously tight, and she saw far more than she wanted to.
"Welcome to Larsonville, honey," the stallion said. "What can I get you?"
"It's not what you can get for me, it's what I can get for you," she said at once. "You are in desperate need of a tailor, and a proper one at that. Your situation is so dire that I'll offer my services for half my usual fee."
The stallion's eyes glimmered. "Is that right?" He asked. "Well, I can't say I need your services, but that mare over at the table who greeted you when you came in, I'll bet she does. Even worse than I do."
"Even... worse?" Rarity's ear flickered at the thought, and she got up at once. She excused herself, and trundled over to the table. "Excuse me, may I sit?"
The mare's eyes lit up at once. "Of course," she said. "You new here? Haven't seen you around before."
"I am Rarity," she said in a tone that suggested offense that somepony should be so ignorant as to not know who she was. :From Ponyville, the next town over. The young stallion at the counter said you were in need of my services. If you are as desperate as he claims, I shall provide them to you for half price."
The mare slid just a bit closer. "Why, that sounds fine..." she drawled. "My place or yours?"
"You may come to my place of business tomorrow, we'll do it in the back room."
"You're quite the show-off, aren't you?" The mare teased. "I like that." She leaned in closer, and Rarity frowned, pulling away.
"What? What are you doing?"
"I was gonna kiss ya, darlin'."
"What?!"
Further conversation was met by a loud cheer from the few cafe patrons as the front swinging doors creaked, and someone who was presumably, from the cheer, a regular, made entrance.
Rarity backed away hastily from the mare who'd been so vulgar towards her, and after she offered her a special deal, too! Out of pure generosity! She backed right into whomever it was that had just come in with such force that a gruff voice snapped at her.
"Watch it, dweeb!"
Rarity froze. That voice. It had been years since she'd heard it, and yet she knew it instantly. She slowly turned, edging herself around, hoping, praying she was wrong. She wasn't. She'd backed right into the feathery brown pelt of a gryphon, one... the only one, in fact, that she knew very well.
"You!" Rarity squeaked.
"You!" Gilda squawked. "What the hay are you doing in here?"
"I was attempting to pick up new clients, but they're all behaving horribly, and that mare-" she pointed accusingly "-I do believe was HITTING on me." She was not against the idea of mares with mares, not at all, but for herself to have been so blatantly and nearly violated, without even knowing her NAME...
Gilda stared at Rarity for a moment, and broke into roaring, screeching laughter.
"You. Are such. A DORK," Gilda squawked, tears actually streaming from her eyes. "Do you even know where you are?"
"Well, yes," Rarity said. "A cafe, that-"
"That caters to a very specific clientele," the gryphon finished. "The... ah... mares for mares, variety?" she grinned. "I didn't know you swung that way, kid."
Rarity opened her mouth to ask for clarification, but reached the solution by herself. All the color drained out of her face. And the realization that she had offered that mare her services, for half price no less, and the mare had leaped at it...
Without another word, Rarity turned and raced out the front doors, leaving Gilda screeching with laughter again behind her.
First the first time in her life, Rarity broke down in public, right there in the middle of the street. Something in her mind snapped, and she lay down in the dirt, pounding her hooves into the ground. Her saddlebag overturned, and the contents spilled out. "Why me?!" She wailed. "Why, why why?!"
Several ponies and a diamond dog stopped to watch this tantrum, which lasted only a few seconds before Rarity began to compose herself again, and picked herself up. The diamond dog took a few steps forward, and Rarity instinctively backed away. He picked up a small blue rock which had fallen out of her saddlebag. "This yours?" He asked.
"Yes, that's my good luck stone," Rarity said, clearing her throat. "I normally keep it at home, but thought I might need it today." Her words were choked with sobs of humiliation, and she had a hard time getting them out.
The diamond dog was shaking his head. "Ain't no good luck stone, miss. It's a Stone of Misfortune. Rare, but not unheard of. Curses whoever owns it with all sorts of bad luck and accidents."
Rarity was on the verge of snapping again. "What?!"
Eyes flying open, she snatched at the stone with her magic, creating a slingshot from out of nowhere, stretched it back, and hurled the stone so far that it was lost to view. "Be gone, vile thing!" she shrieked. Turning to the diamond dog, her eyes filled with relief. "Thank you," she whispered. "It's over... it's finally over."
In the next town over, the rock finally landed, bouncing off the side of a building and down the steep embankment behind it, skittering across the land and finally coming to rest near a slowly burbling river.
It was here that a dull grey colored pony was slowly walking along the river, looking over rocks as if they were first edition novels. A few were placed in a pouch around her back, the rest were discarded. Her eyes fell upon the blue rock which had fallen in front of her, and straight purple hair fell across her eyes as she bent to pick it up. It was a gorgeous rock, and she'd never been so excited in her life as to stumble across this one. She almost smiled.
Almost.
"Oh. Good." She said dryly. "What a find."
The rock was pocketed, and she continued on her way.
