Ponyfinder: Get in the Game

by David Silver

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Human, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dungeons and Dragons, Romance, Original Character, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 21629

A group of roleplayers are having a good Friday evening rolling the dice and murdering their way to ever increasing loot, until they find themselves in this dangerous world. Can they handle being pony adventurers?

A group of roleplayers are having a good Friday evening rolling the dice and murdering their way to ever increasing loot, until they find themselves in this dangerous world. Can they handle being pony adventurers?

Ponyfinder/MLP HiE chicanery here, done by request of Canary in the Coal Mine.

Published 2015-04-24 20:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-10 14:23:34 UTC

1 - Getting into the Game

I looked around the table, eyeing the little figures we had scatted in battle formation on it. I was considering my move when Brad bellowed from across the table. "Take your move already!"

I frowned at him a moment before reaching for my pegasus miniature and nudging it ahead. "Alright. I'll charge the ooze and attack with my lance."

Paul, our Game Master, nodded. "Roll for it."

I picked up a die from the pile in front of me and let it fly. Just as it began to settle, everything changed.

I was thrown forward with a wet squelching noise. I felt strange new limbs pumping at my side. The moment I thought about them, they stopped moving right and I flopped to the ground in front of an oozing jello creature that was approaching all too quickly. Glancing to the left revealed a huge horse. With a loud grunt, the horse smashed a hoof down on the creature and it splattered everywhere. Some of it landed on my face and began to hiss painfully.

I scrambled away from it, trying desperately to wipe it away, but I didn't have hands. I socked myself with new hooves and sat on equally new haunches. "What the hell is going on?" My voice was wrong, female, but authoritative.

"I'm dead sexy." spoke the larger horse as she stepped away from the defeated jelly.

"Brad? That's your character... right?" I shook my head. "Did you guys slip something into my soda? This is freaking me out!"

A new voice joined the conversation as a pony knight clip-clopped over towards us. "We're in the game I think. Uh, this is Joe. Brad, Ian? You picked a bad time to make female characters I think."

Brad snorted as she shook her armored rump. "Says you! I'm perfect now."

I climbed up to my hooves and looked back at my wings, trying to get control of them in slow stretches. "So... what? We're our characters now? That's bullshit! Where's Paul?"

"Right here." The voice seemed to echo all around them.

Brad looked up towards the ceiling of the dungeon they were in. "No way! Are you still the Game Master?"

"I think so."

Joe shook his head. "Can you turn us into humans again?"

"And then our brave heroes turned into their human selves!" Nothing happened. "Well, guess that's out. Wait, I have an idea. Maybe I can't undo what happened, whatever that is, but maybe you guys don't want to adventure in Everglow and die for real, right?"

I raised a hoof. "I'm down for not dying. I may have a lance, uh, attached, but I'm not that eager to put it to work."

Paul's voice spoke with the deep authority of any good GM, "And so our heroes, reeling from their sudden entrance, looked around desperately for a way out. Fortunately for them, there was a secret door to the west."

Joe snorted. "Which way is west?" They began to look around, poking and prodding the walls until they found a loose brick. Joe pressed it in and a section of the wall swung inwards.

"As the heroes opened the door, they beheld a great and mysterious artifact! This would take them to a much safer place, where ponies could live in peace."

Brad perked her ears. "That sounds kinda boring."

I rolled my eyes at Brad and strode past her, marveling at the alien place of muscles in my new body. "Stay here then. I'm not finishing out this dungeon with my real body on the line!" Joe seemed to agreed with me, moving to trot alongside me. Our bodies seemed to have a mind of their own, and they moved as we wanted to as long as we didn't focus on it too hard.

Brad stomped an oversized hoof. "Come on! I can't take it alone. You're taking the heals and DPS!"

Ignoring Brad, I began to poke and prod at the control panel until I found a large lever and gave it a pull, or tried. Hooves were not made for grasping. I leaned in and mouthed it and pulled with my entire head. The knob tasted of dust and dirt and I spit it out as soon as it was moved. In reward for my actions, the portal crackled to life in a rainbow pattern of swirls in an oval shaped. "So, Paul? This is safe?"

"Safe as I can make it. You're lucky, at least you have a body."

"A girl body." I looked under myself, but I was dressed in armor, so there was little to see just yet. "This is what I get for rolling randomly for that."

Brad stomped up suddenly. "Fine, be a bunch of babies. See you suckers on the other side." She jumped into the portal, and vanished in a rainbow.

Joe scratched behind his head with a hoof. "Well that looked safe." He pointed at the portal with his horn. "Ladies first."

I sighed and approached the portal cautiously. I reached out a hoof and gently brushed the surface of the portal. That was enough. I was sucked in violently and thrown out against a building. Stars swam in my vision and I started to get up when a new body crashed on top of me. I squealed girlishly in pain and squirmed under the bulk. Joe at least had the manners to get off of me quickly.

"And so our heroes arrived just outside the town of Ponyville, where surely nothing could go wrong."

I picked myself up off the ground, shaking myself out and settling my new wings into place. Ugh, those felt weird. "Why did you say it like that? You're not going to throw odd crap at us, are you? This is serious, Paul. We're really here."

"Sorry, sudden urge. You're not the only one getting used to something new. I think it's my job to keep things interesting."

Brad got a queer expression, eyes going half-lid. "Can you make it sexy interesting?"

"Dude, this is Ponyville! They're all innocent little ponies."

Brad shrugged. "They're alive, right? They got urges like anyone else."

Joe reached out and poked me in the side. "You alright? Sorry for squishing you like that. Let me see if my magic works."

I remembered Joe's character was a cleric of the Sun Queen. "That'd be pretty cool, thanks."

Joe poked again and again, looking like he was concentrating really hard. I rolled a hoof. "The spell has verbal components."

"Oh yeah." Joe smiled and tried again. "In the name of the Sun Queen, may your wounds be healed!" He poked me and a sudden warmth ran through me. I could feel the burn from the jello and the mild crushing I got fading away, replaced with a sense of wholeness.

I smiled back at Joe. "Wow, that worked great. I guess you'll be set for a job here if nothing else."

Joe blinked. "Huh?"

Brad nudged Joe with a large hoof. "You'll put their doctors out of work."

Joe shook his head. "Nah, I'm OK not doing that. So where to?"

I turned in a slow circle, looking around the town, then I got an idea. "Do we have money?"

Brad looked herself over. "I don't have hands to check..."

Joe's horn glowed as struggled with his magic.

Not wanting to wait, I reached with my mouth and pulled open the strap on my saddlebag, then peeked inside. "Looks like everything I had on my sheet is here, money included. Assuming Equestria trades the same as Everglow, we're solid." I suddenly found myself lifting from the ground. "What the?!"

Joe squeaked and I fell to the ground roughly. "Sorry man. I'm trying to get the hang of this."

Brad snorted softly before she started walking off. "I'm going to go bother Vinyl Scratch. I bet she knows how to get down and dirty."

I scrambled back to standing and ran after Brad, tripping up and sliding across the ground. These hooves were not as easy as they looked. "Don't split the party, fuck."

Joe lifted me up with his horn, showing some greater control over it. "What if something goes wrong? We're the only ones that even theoretically can fight in this town."

Brad looked over her shoulder. "What do you mean? Anything that bothered Ponyville would have to deal with Mary Sue Book Horse and her friends. Whatever. I'm not wasting my time looking lost like you guys." She flicked her tail at Joe and I. "Later."

Joe watched her lumber off and glanced back at me with a sigh. "Well I'm sticking with you."

I smiled then stretched out my wings. "You have your horn working. I feel like I should really get these wings to cooperate. What kind of pegasus fighter can I be without flying?"

Joe snorted softly. "You're lucky. That sounds easy to figure out. Unicorn cleric? I barely know where to start. At least the horn's mostly point and click."

I spread my wings out. "Do you remember much about your god?"

"Goddess, and yeah."

I nodded as I began to flap in place. "Well try thinking about her. You know, pray? She's kind of important to you now." Gravity seemed to release its hold on me and I lifted into the air lazily under the power of my new wings. I looked them over, admiring their long yellow feathers with the reddish tinges towards the ends. I was just getting used to hovering when something crashed into me, and I plummeted down with it, landing beside Joe.

The weight was lifted off of me and I saw a light purple pegasus wrapped in Joe's magic. She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and bam, that happened. Name's Stormwalker! Welcome to Ponyville."

Joe set her down gently and nodded. "I'm Joe, that's Ian over there."

Stormwalker looked confused even as she helped me up. "Ian? That's a funny name for a pegasus. What's with all the armor, and that lance." She poked the lance that was still strapped to my side. "Are you two doing a show?"

I cleared my throat as tension built up through me. "Uh, not so much. We're new in town. The lance is for monsters."

"Oh." Stormwalker tilted her head one way, then the other. "Why not just fly away from them?"

Joe puffed out his chest. "She'd never leave me behind. We're friends."

Stormwalker smiled at that. "That's good. I can respect that. Well, I should get back to work! Those clouds aren't handling themselves." She shook herself out and then took off into the sky effortlessly.

I looked to Joe. "We should get a place to stay. Does Ponyville have an inn?"

Joe shook his head. "I... didn't watch the show much..."

I peered at him suspiciously. "What do you mean? I mean you're playing Ponyfinder! How could you not watch the show?"

Joe shrugged. "I just liked hanging out and rolling dice. Is that bad?"

I shook my head quickly. "No! No. Just surprised. God, you must be so confused right now."

"That's what I said before!" Joe flopped onto his haunches. "Hey, Paul! Can you tell us where there's a nice safe place to take stock of things?"

"Looking around for shelter, you find your eyes drawn to a small purple-roofed house that seemed to draw you towards it with promises of sanctuary and a warm meal."

Joe looked around slowly. "What? I don-- Oh There it is." He pointed to the purple-roofed house and soon we were walking for it. "Think Brad's gotten into trouble?"

I shrugged along the way. "He's either in jail or Vinyl's showing him, uh, her? Whatever... Showing them exactly how their body works."

Author's Note

The heroes arrive in a new world and new bodies. Perhaps once they get a room they can take a moment to soak in just how much they've changed.

What awaits them? How will they adapt? Will they find a way home, or forge a new life amongst the ponies?

Could be worse, one of them could have been playing something like a clockwork pony or a phoenix wolf.

Paul claims he can see typos, but I doubt that.

3 - To Adventure

"And so, refreshed and ready, our displaced ponies rouse from their slumber."

I cracked open an eye and peeked upwards. "Hey Paul."

"Hey. Time to get up."

I slid off the bed and noticed Joe was already up and getting ready for a new day. "Hey Joe."

"Stout Word." Joe perked an ear at me. "I might as well go with the pony name too, right? Being the only pony in the world named 'Joe' won't work."

I snorted softly. "Funny thing, that. There is another pony named Joe. Notice she didn't comment on your name."

"Really?" Joe shook his head. "Well fine then, I'm sticking with Joe."

"Getting dressed and prepared, our adventures were soon ready to face the day."

I opened my mouth to complained, then realized I was dressed and clean. "That's... creepy but cool. So what's the adventure?"

"What, you're ready now? I thought you wanted to hide from adventure last night?"

I shrugged, casting caution to wind. "The way I see it, you're either bringing adventure to us, or us to the adventure. Maybe we'll go home after we get off our, uh, flanks, and do what adventurers do. So what's on the agenda?"

Joe looked less sure. "I still haven't figured out this whole 'praying' thing. I mean, I'm not very religious back home."

I reached up and pat Joe's shoulder with a hoof. "Just remember, it's not really faith. We aren't unsure if your god's there. You healed me with her power and all that. We're in the world man! She's there. You just have to say hi."

"Right, just say hi..." Joe sank to his belly and looked like he was concentrating.

I looked upwards. "Don't suppose you could help with this?"

"That would be cheating."

Minutes passed slowly before Joe's eyes snapped open. "I saw her!" He hopped up to his hooves and rushed me. "I saw her! She was super bright, like blinding, and she was warm. She looked worried about me, and I felt power running through me. It was fucking amazing!"

"Faith renewed, there was nothing else standing in the way of adventure!"

Joe fell back sheepishly. "Oh, uh, I guess not? Where are we going, Paul? Is Brad OK?"

"Oh she's fine..."

Vinyl licked over the healed neck of her newest toy, giving a sultry purr as her hooves rubbed over Brad's massive belly. "Such a big mare you are. Where are you from?"

"Earth."

Vinyl tilted her head. "Never heard of it. Is it far?"

"Another world."

Vinyl leaned in close. "How intriguing..." Her tail lashed softly as her fangs were exposed. "Tell me more about it..."

The door opened and admitted a grey earth pony. Octavia peered at Vinyl a moment. "Are you roleplaying again? Take off those fake teeth."

Just like that, whatever grip Paul had on her shattered. Vinyl spat out the teeth. "Oh, yeah, heh... Meet my new friend, Brad!"

Octavia raised a brow high. "Not interested." She trotted past, and a door closed soon afterwards.

Vinyl shrugged. "Well, it was fun, but I should get some sleep. Later."

A stunned Brad was evicted from the house, landing in a naked pile in front of the door. Her clothes and equipment were tossed out after her, draping over her large form.

"I'll make sure she meets you on the way."

We emerged from our room and noticed the end of the hallway was a collection of debris. The door to the right of the disaster zone was kicked in. "Uh... I think Daring Do found what she came for."

Joe peeked over my shoulder at the mess. "Shit. That looks like it was one hell of a fight."

Bed Time emerged from the mess with an apologetic look. "Sorry! I'll have this mess cleaned up soon. I hope the noise didn't disturb you." she shuffled nervously. "You aren't leaving, are you?"

I tried to reassure the worried pony. "We're just getting things done, we'll probably be back tonight. It didn't bother us at all."

"Oh thank Celestia!" She smiled brightly and went back to cleaning. I noticed Joe's eyes looking where I didn't like and nudged him towards the stairs.

"You can ogle the mares later."

Joe descended to the ground floor with a huff. "What are you talking about? I was thinking she might need help."

Maybe I was the big lech. "If she's still busy when we get back, we can ask."

"There was trouble in the air, they could feel it. A soft urging from his god led Joe East, where the disturbance beckoned to them."

Joe shuddered from top to bottom. "Oh fuck that feels... This way." He turned and began trotting away from Ponyville, heading out towards the mountain that held Canterlot.

I followed along after him. "So... what does your, uh, god, feel like?"

"Like my nose is a compass, except north is also hot, and north in this case..." He pointed ahead. As we hiked along, Brad came loping into view from the side, soon joining us.

"Hey guys."

Joe tilted his head at Brad. "Hey. So... had fun with Shiny Scratch?"

Brad huffed as she rolled her eyes. "Vinyl Scratch, and yes. No thanks to Paul."

"You're welcome. Don't split the party next time."

Brad looked aside at Joe. "If I can't have fun with the locals, I'll settle for what's close at hand, or hoof."

Joe edged away quickly. "Dude, I didn't forget you as fat and a guy, man."

Brad shrugged. "So? Now I'm all muscle and female. You have a horse dick, right?"

I stuck out my tongue, feeling my belly coil a little at Brad's shamelessness. "Chill out. Don't pressure Joe into things. We're looking for adventure, by the way."

Brad raised her brows. "Now we're talking. I'll take point, but I call dibs on the loot." She trotted up ahead of us.

Joe looked over his shoulder at me. "What class was Brad again?"

I shrugged. "Don't remember. Some kind of rogue or something? They disarmed those traps before, remember?"

Our destination came into view soon, with Paul announcing the fact in case we missed it. "Before the party rose the forgotten castle. Once it served as a way station for weary travelers, operated by stalwart ponies in the time of war before the current peaceful regime. Without the guardians, it has become a haven for monsters and ne'er-do-wells. Perhaps our heroes can restore the fortress to sanctity, and discover its secrets."

4 - Dungeon Crawling by the Numbers

I discovered that fighting was partially baked into the body. We had all the skills that were on our sheet, it was just up to us to 'use' them. When the troll-like thing challenged us at the gates, I charged forward and stuck my lance through his gut and out the other end in an impressive shower of blood and viscera. Brad stomped out the little goblins in the courtyard beneath her hooves, laughing the entire time. We were actually having fun with it.

"Though entering the keep had proved little challenge so far, our lucky adventurers had no idea that they were being watched from above by a much more powerful presence."

Joe looked upwards quickly, but saw nothing there. "Uh, no offense, but now we know?"

Brad shrugged. "Box text, it never changes. Race you to the next floor." She shouldered the doors heading inside and vanished into the gloom.

"Joe, light me up." I pointed up at the helmet on my head. Joe tapped it with a hoof and a brief prayer, making it start glowing. With light ready, I flew through the open door to find Brad surrounded by diamond dogs. They were working her over good with clubs and maces. She could take one down with each tremendous hoof stomp, but there were a lot of them and they were organized.

"Big pony will pull lots gems at same time!" one cried jubilantly before he noticed me. "Look, another one!"

I moved to charge into the throng, but the largest of the dogs intercepted me, grabbing the lance halfway down its length and using it to roughly shove me to the ground. "Not going anywhere." He yanked the lance out of my saddle rack and tossed it aside.

I bounced back to my hooves and reared up, standing somewhat like a person normally does. "I can fight with or without that. You're just delaying things."

Joe suddenly burst in from outside. "In the name of the Sun Queen, we will win this day!" The effects of the prayer washed out over the room, emboldening us and sapping the dogs a little of their fighting spirit. Filled with new energy, I lashed out with a hoof and caught the big dog across the chin, ducking aside as he tried to return the favor.

Brad suddenly rolled over, crushing several dogs under her bulk before she rose back up, standing on them. "These guys are fucking jerks! A little help over here?"

I ducked under another swing and planted a hoof into the dog's sternum. "Working on it. I got the room boss over here." For my distraction, the dog suddenly lashed out with a quickly-drawn dagger, leaving a bloody wound on my barrel. It stung like hell! I spread my wings for balance and came in close to the dog, punching and flailing with a methodical punishment.

A spear suddenly appeared beside the large dog, glowing and ghost-like. It lowered its point at it and began to jab and thrust, wetly perforating flesh. The dog fell back, trying to ward off swinging hooves and the jabbing spear. It soon went down under out concentrated effort. "Thanks, Joe!"

Joe gave a salute before pointing his horn at the next dog, directing the spiritual weapon to its new prey. I was soon after it, tag-teaming the poor bastards one by one. With the biggest one down, it didn't take us long to clear the room of opposition. Brad moved up to Joe. "Heals, fuck, come on."

Joe raised a brow. "Maybe next time don't just charge in alone? That wasn't smart."

I joined them after reclaiming my lance. "I could use a little too. Big dog got a lucky hit in, might have been a critical. Hurts like a bitch."

Joe let out an exasperated sigh before he turned his sun-styled cutie mark towards us. "Bask in the warmth of the Sun Queen!" A wave of positive energy washed out over us and the pain fled before it. "Seriously though, that was shit tactics."

Brad snorted. "Says the guy waving his ass at me. That wasn't enough, more."

I sided on Joe on this one. "We should have scouted the room before just charging in. We can't expect to outlevel everything in here. Also, cut the crap. He's the one with the heals, unless you like bleeding."

Joe nodded at that. "Yeah! I don't have to heal you." Despite the words, Joe did reach out a hoof to Brad. "Rest easy in Her warmth, and be whole."

Brad looked almost good as new, and shook herself out. "Much better! Yo, Paul, what's up with the douche patrol?"

"Why do you seem surprised? Monsters, dungeon. You know the drill. I set them up, you knock them down and claim the rewards."

I lifted a hoof. "Speaking of which! Joe, check for magic."

"Good idea." Joe cast a quick spell and looked around slowly. "This is way trippier than we play it as... It's like predator vision, but it's all yellow until I stop moving, then it resses in." He advanced on the big dog and nudged it over, then with a flash of his horn he yanked off one of his rings. "Magic!" Then a potion came free. "Magic! So... how do I identify them?"

I shrugged. "Your character had spellcraft, right?"

"Sure. +12 or close to it." Joe tilted his head. "How do I use it?"

Brad snorted loudly. "Stare at it. Maybe a little sign will pop up or something."

Joe held up the ring and stared at it intensely for about half a minute before he nodded. "I think it's for jumping. Just a hunch. How do we use a ring? None of us have fingers."

I held up a hoof. "Try putting it on me anyway." He did so, and the ring expanded out on contact, easily slipping over and becoming an ankle bracelet of sorts. "See? Easy."

Brad snorted softly. "You're a pegasus, what do you need to jump better for?"

I couldn't argue the logic. "Well, yeah, guess I can fly. You want it?"

"Lame."

The ring went to Joe, who tested it with a few spritely jumps into the air. "It's not moonwalking. It's like having little springs in your shoes."

We weren't wearing shoes, but the idea was clear enough. I looked to the stairs. "Ready to move on? We have a boss to smash."

We went up the stairs in formation, coming up into what appeared to be a church of sorts, with iconography of Celestia and Luna all about. A stained glass window showed Celestia and Luna facing each other, horns touching and wings spread. A robed figure stood before the altar, facing us, though their features were hidden by the cowl. They spoke in a deep and ominous voice that I recognized as Paul's 'spooky voice'. "You've made it to me. I thought this new world would have disoriented you more. No matter. I cannot allow champions of Everglow to get in the way of my plans to conquer this peaceful realm." He flung his robe aside, revealing a human with a glowing sword of light held in two hands.

Brad snorted derisively. "Really? We're fighting a fucking Jedi or something? Come on, Paul. You can do better than that." Her words came up short as the figure rushed her, carving her with the smell of burning horse meat. Brad cursed up a storm as she fell back.

I rose into the air, lance ready. "Treat him with all the respect a boss is due and stop shitting around." I lunged forward as Joe spoke a new prayer and I felt my movements growing more certain. I drove the lance deep into the bastard's shin, but he wrenched his leg away then cut with that light sword of his, catching a wing painfully and making flying an agonizing task.

"By the forces of harmony, I strike thee away!" Joe launched a sudden avalanche of rainbows across the room. They stung and burned as they passed through me, and the human looked similarly pained, but Brad howled with a renewed agony, stunned in pain. "Well, Brad's chaotic, good to know."

The human laughed at us. "What incompetents. I'll be sure to note that on your grave markers." He swirled the sword around before lunging at the stunned Brad, sending her toppling to the ground as that awful smell got stronger. "It's not too late. Join me, and we can conquer this place. They don't even know what true war is. They will fall like wheat before us!" The window behind him suddenly exploded inwards as Bed Time came crashing through it.

She charged at the human. "You can't kill them! They're my only customers!"

"What?" He didn't get a chance to say much more as she began boxing him with flailing hooves.

Not wanting to pass up a chance when I saw it, I jabbed the jerk right in the back while he was distracted. "We're not interested in your schemes. Go back to Everglow and rot!"

Joe rushed across the room, casting a healing spell on Brad, who woke up with a spasm. "Fucking shit and fuck!"

The human pressed on Bed Time, scoring her hide with burn marks, but she bore them with surprising stoicism. To put it bluntly, she was being a true badass, and I felt a new respect for her. With Brad rejoining the battle, the odds were stacked in our favor.

"As the heroes pressed the evil mastermind, he decided discretion was the better part of valor. With a sudden flash." The room lit up brightly. "He was gone." When the light faded, there was no sign of the boss anywhere to be seen. "They had won, for the moment."

Bed Time looked around with confusion. "Did any of you hear that?"

"Huh? You heard me?"

"There it is again!" Bed Time circled around again, trying to find Paul.

Joe approached Bed Time as he let his healing energies wash over us. "Calm down. Thanks for coming for us. I... Did you climb up the side of the castle?"

"Maybe... I thought you were in danger." Bed Time scuffed at the ground lightly. "I didn't mean to get in the way."

I shook my head quickly. "You didn't, thanks!"

Suddenly everything changed. I was sitting in the chair I was in before, back at the game table. My figure was moved. We were on a new map, the church map.

"Oh my Celestia, what happened?!" I looked up at the voice to see a naked woman in one of the open chairs. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking like a leaf. We were home, and we had company.

Author's Note

End Arc 1! The plot, it thickens!

Typos get thicker with the plot, watch out for that.

5 - Character Considerations

I held a hand at Bed Time. "Before you st--" Too late, she screamed. She fell out of the chair was in and collapsed to the ground, wailing from there.

Paul was patting himself down. Guess it was nice to have a body again. Brad snorted loudly. "Fucking hell, shut her up, and why did we come back here? I didn't want to leave."

Joe pushed up to his feet, chair clattering down behind him. "Hey hey hey. It's OK, uh, Bed Time?"

Bed Time suddenly stopped the auditory assault. "How do you know my name? Who are you? Where am I?"

I moved around the table to get towards her. She wasn't a bad looker, not supermodel material, or even super pretty, but she looked healthy and fit. It made sense on reflection for an earth pony to human. "We're the ponies you were just with. I'm Cloud Kicker."

She pointed at me. "You sound like a stallion! Oh my Celestia! You are a stallion! You poor thing!" She tried to stand and began wobbling dangerously. She flopped against the table, using it for support. "How can you stand so easily? This body is so weird!"

I just noticed with her ass on full display that she still had her cutie mark, the pillow on her hips. She had the green hair too, but there was no sign of the blue fur, replaced with dark flesh. I don't know why I assumed a pony would become a white human. At least she wasn't like an Equestria Girls human. "Please, have a seat. We'll go over all of this. You're safe, promise."

Bed Time pulled up the chair she knocked over and plopped down onto it. "Why am I the only one not wearing something? It isn't that cold in here."

Paul snapped out of whatever thought space he was in. "Welcome to my house. Bed Time was it? I'm Paul. You heard me just before you came here."

Bed Time's eyes widened. "Oh, that voice I recognize! You were invisible. Were you a...whatever that is, all that time?"

Joe nodded. "We were all humans to start."

Brad shoved to his feet. "Call me when it's time to go back." He stomped off towards the kitchen.

Bed Time watched Brad trundling off. "Who was that? They don't seem very happy."

Joe chuckled softly. "They were that big mare."

Bed Time nodded slowly, looking uncertain. "I can see why she's upset. She became a stallion too, an overweight one! So, please, explain this? I have to get back to my inn. Somepony might come by looking for a room."

I went back to my side of the table and flipped my laptop towards her as I pulled up a video. "This may be easier to show than to explain, but in this world, yours is a story."

"A story?" Her eyes become riveted on my laptop as an episode began to play. "Oh it's Princess Twilight Sparkle! Where are her wings, and why does this magic make everything look so... round?" It was playing the Canterlot Wedding, and Twilight did her butt wiggling dance. "I don't usually look for that kind of thing, but you can't see her... parts?"

Paul laughed at her reaction. "Sorry, laughing with you, not at you. The show's made for little kids, so they don't show anything they consider 'offensive'."

She tilted her head like a horse might. "What's offensive about that? It's just weird with nopony having one." Then it clicked. "Is that why you're all covered up?"

Joe nodded. "Got it in one. I'm Joe, by the way."

She smiled brightly. "Oh, at least one of you didn't change from stallion to mare or vice versa." She looked down at herself then. "I didn't change either, besides being a... hu what was it?"

I smiled at her patiently. "Human." She was kind of adorable in her cluelessness. She seemed eager to learn and not too scared of everything anymore.

"So, really, how do I get back?"

Paul frowned a bit. "We're still not entirely sure how we got there in the first place. We were playing a game of Ponyfinder and suddenly we were in it. When we finished the adventure, we got out." He gestured at the playmat.

She leaned forward with bright eyes. "Look, it's me!" She plucked up the miniature that wasn't there before. There was Bed time in all her glory. She was fully colored, pillow cutie mark intact. "I look ready for adventure. So this is like Oubliettes and Ogres? I played that once in school. So we just have to play again and I can get back, right?"

I lifted my shoulders. "Maybe? Like Paul said, we weren't planning it... But I guess if it works once, it could work again. Paul? Any objection to tweaking my character a bit?"

Paul hiked a brow. "Why?"

I flipped him the finger in a sudden urge. "You can't guess? I want to be a stallion if we go back in there. I was missing my man parts."

Bed Time flushed red. "Is that why you were being so nice to me?"

Joe coughed into a hand. "Nah, Ian's just a cool guy. Besides, you were nice. There's no reason to be rude to somebody."

"Pony."

"Body." Joe chuckled. "No ponies around here."

Paul waved. "Go ahead. I don't know if it'll change things or not, but go for it."

Brad returned with a cup of soda in hand. "He gets to change his character? I'm going to too. If I'm going to be anything, I want to be a dragon."

Paul shrugged. "I don't have any stats for a dragon character I want to use."

Brad made a displeased face as he settled into his chair. "Whatever. I'll go with a changeling then."

Bed Time stiffened. "Why would you want to be one of those?!"

Paul sighed softly. "They're called doppelgangers, and sure, whatever. You won't be large anymore though."

That was when I noticed a new sheet in front of Bed Time and reached for it. "Hey, you have a character too. That makes sense. You're an earth-bound barbarian it says."

She flushed brightly. "I'm not a barbarian! I always try to mind my manners... Was I really that rude?" She reached to grab the sheet back and got her hand on it, falling over the table in the effort before she could right herself. "Wait a minute... If I change this, will I change? This is too scary!" She slapped the sheet down and turned away from it.

Author's Note

Will they get Bed Time home? Will the adventure continue?! Will the police called because it sounded like a woman was being brutally murdered?

Will the typo creature ever be defeated and what loot is it carrying?

6 - That's What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me

Joe pulled off his jacket and offered it to Bed Time. "Here."

She looked confused at the offer. "I'm not cold, thanks."

Brad laughed at the both of them. "Your tits are hanging out."

"My what?"

I waved a hand lightly. "It's polite to be dressed. Please."

She smiled and accepted the jacket, slipping into it with minimal fuss and concealing much of her form, with the table covering the rest. "Better?"

Brad finished his cup. "So, we going back in or what?"

Paul frowned. "Fuck that, pardon the language. I don't know why you're in such a rush."

Brad got back to his feet and moved for the back door. "I don't know why you'd be in such a rush to stay here." He pulled open the darkened glass door to reveal a psychotic mess of colors beyond. "What the hell?"

I peered at it a second. "Close the door man. Is that stuff safe?" Brad thrust a hand out, lost in the colors a moment before he pulled it back, unharmed. "Right, well... I'm not going out in that."

Bed Time shook her head and turned her attention back onto that character sheet in front of herself. She flipped it back over and looked it over. "Hey, it says I'm pretty smart."

Paul smiled at Bed Time. "Well you're definitely holding it together pretty well. So, uh, you seem to be stuck on this ride with us."

Brad huffed. "As if." He stepped into the color, vanishing. A moment later there was a knocking at the front door, then it opened and Brad came in, closing the door behind himself. "Nevermind."

I shrugged softly. "Alright, so we're stuck."

Joe gestured at the table. "Think we're stuck until we finish the game?"

I pulled out my cellphone and saw it still had a signal, hm. "What if we order something? Up for pizza?"

Bed Time perked up. "Oh, yes please. Mushrooms and wheat flakes please."

Joe chuckled good-naturedly at the request. "Mushrooms we can do, but we don't do wheat flakes. How about pineapple?"

"Pineapple's OK." She bobbed her head. We put in the order with a few quick phone taps, much to Bed Time's amazement. "You have your own kind of magic. I really do need to get back though, so after the pizza, can we go back?"

Brad settled back at the table. "I suppose there's no reason not to, right? We're going back?"

Paul nodded. "Not a lot of other options, but see if you can't get out with the pizza guy, if he can get here, maybe we can get out? I don't really want to be a faceless voice."

Bed Time tilted her head. "If you were running the story, you made a very interesting story. That's quite an honor, to be a master of fate. You should be very proud, and treat it with the seriousness it deserves."

I decided, again, that Bed Time was adorable. "You really believe in Fate, huh?"

She tilted her head at me. "How could I not? Every pony has a talent they are good at and it and our personality is imprinted on us right here." she pointed to her still exposed rump. "Even in this place I still have it. Destiny is how Princess Twilight Sparkle became a princess at all! It's why I run that inn, because I'm supposed to. If I wasn't, where would you have gone? We were supposed to meet. It was fate. What are your cutie marks?"

Brad laughed as he settled back where he started. "Oh man. We don't have cutie marks. I was considering a sweet tatt, but nah."

Joe nodded in agreement. "No cutie marks here. We have to decide where we want to be on our own."

Bed Time pouted a bit. "That sounds just awful. We really should go back. You had cutie marks there at least." She looked across at me. "You were going to... change your fate? So casual..." She looked back at her own sheet. "Too casual..."

I chuckled nervously. Her tone of voice made me feel odd. "Well... I don't want to be a mare. I'll keep everything else the same, just be a stallion pegasus. You're alright with that, right?"

She flushed softly. "Oh, yes... if you want to be a stallion..." She then glanced towards Paul.

Paul raised a brow, then seemed to realize something. "Bed?"

"Yeah?"

"Accept my apology in advance if I'm barking up the wrong tree, but are you giving Ian 'the look'?"

Brad burst into laughter as Joe looked sheepishly away. Bed Time's blush magnified. "I... think he would make a very dashing stallion." The laughing grew in volume as Brad slapped the table.

I wasn't sure how to react, but Brad's reaction was getting annoying. "Shut the hell up, Brad."

"Make me." He sat up though, and quieted.

I gave Bed Time a soft smile. She was pretty enough as a woman, and she was shaped right as a pony. Was I upset that she seemed to dig me? After consideration, I decided that this was not something to be upset about. I didn't have a girlfriend at the moment, and she seemed nice. "So, what do you do, besides run an inn?"

Before she could answer, the doorbell rang. Joe pushed up to his feet and went to open the door. The pizza man stood half in and half out of the colors, seemingly unaware of the phenomenon. Joe got the pizza and tried to step out after the pizza guy, only to end up popping up at the back glass door. "Crap."

At least we had pizza.

Author's Note

But will pizza make the typos go away, or will the cheesy goodness draw more of them?

7 - The Battle Resumes

Pizza was shared around the table. Once hunger was taken care of, Bed Time gestured at her little figure on the table. "Can we go back? Please? You seem like nice ponies, but I want my tail back."

Brad raised a hand. "I will agree with this statement."

Joe looked out the back door to the swirling colors beyond and sighed. "Well we're not getting out any other way I can see... Let's do it?"

Paul pushed a sheet forward. "First, an idea. Behold, Blank Slate, a unicorn with the unfortunate habit of being possessed by higher beings. If this works, I'll have a body to inhabit when I want to."

Bed Time shuddered softly. "You're just... making a pony? Are you gods?"

I reached across the table for one of Bed's hands, squeezing it gently. "We're not trying to hurt any... pony. As soon as we can, we'll get out of this game and stop messing with your world."

Bed gave a nervous little smile. "It's hardly a game... But thank you." Her curious eyes took in Paul. "I am... Please be kind to us."

Joe shook his head. "That sounded almost creepy. Let's play the game like regular people, uh, as regular as we can be."

And so the game resumed. They exited the church and returned to Ponyville. Oddly enough, Paul found he had pre-drawn maps of Ponyville at hand, and easily moved their tokens to it. When they arrived at Bed Time's inn, he had a map for that too. Bed Time was delighted to see her inn, even in two dimensional format. "I check if anypony has signed in while I was gone."

Paul let loose a few dice, and they were in.

Bed Time swayed with disorientation as she suddenly had four legs again. As she recovered, a broad smile played over her snout. "Home!" She rushed over to the registry and peeked at it. There was a new name. "A new customer too! Today gets better. Blank Slate? Why is that familiar?"

A pale white unicorn descended from above, looking around timidly and stepping awkwardly across the stairs as if she were new to the form. "Hello?"

I raised a hoof and waved. "Is that you, Paul?"

She smiled. "That's Blank Slate, but yes."

An unfamiliar earth pony snorted beside us. "I didn't figure you'd go with a mare." The earth pony suddenly became pegasus with disturbingly large teats that resembled udders more than anything else. She chuckled at them.

Joe, returned to his unicorn cleric self, tilted his head at Brad. "Ugh, really? Can you keep a clear head for a moment?"

Bed Time moved over to Blank Slate and smiled at her. "It's good that you're not just a voice anymore. Nice to meet you, in the hooves as it were." She reached out a leg and hugged Blank Slate around the neck, then turned towards me and paused. "Oh..."

I looked down at myself. I didn't look that different, I thought. I was a little larger, but still a pegasus, dressed the same and wielding a lance. "Do I look off?"

Bed Time shook her head. "No... very handsome."

I flushed a little, feeling a lot better about being a handsome stallion than a mare. "I'm still the same pony as before, just.. male."

She tilted her head a little. "Alright. Well I liked her too, so I'm sure we're still friends." She only then noticed Brad exploring her shapeshifting powers and cringed. "Please don't do that here. You'll scare away my business.

"What business?" Brad curled up on herself and took a teat in snout, starting to nurse from herself shamelessly.

All eyes moved off of her, finding one another much safer things to look at. Joe coughed into a hoof. "So! Once we go on an adventure, I'm guessing we get sent back."

Blank Slate pointed at Bed Time. "You're a party member now."

Bed's ears perked. "I am? I mean... you want me to be?"

I quickly nodded. "Yes, please? Besides being an awesome warrior, you're a good pe--pony. Stick around with us."

My compliment seemed to warm Bed Time to the idea as she nodded quickly.

Blank Slate went limp, standing there with her eyes closed.

"As the party gathered, strengthened with new numbers, they prepared for bed. Surely there would be new challenges for them in the morrow."

Blank Slate suddenly snapped back to wakefulness. "Woah! Sorry, sudden urge. Guess I can't narrate and possess at the same time." She turned back for the stairs. "Let's get some sleep. It's been a long day. Disembodied voices have a hard time getting any naps in."

I nudged the self-indulgent Brad. "We're going to bed."

She paused long enough to grunt, "I'll be up when I feel like it," with her snout buried between her own legs. Ponies were a lot more flexible than humans...

I decided not to contemplate that for too long and soon we had all retired to the largest room the inn had to offer. There were three beds. Joe sank to the floor. "You guys can take the beds."

Bed Time huffed softly. "We can share them." She threw a leg over my neck and gently pulled me towards one. "Like this." She gently pulled me up onto the bed with her and smiled. "See. We're all friends, right?"

Blank Slate hopped onto the next bed over and snuggled up under the covers before closing her eyes, passing out almost instantly.

Joe tilted his head at the sleeping Blank Slate. "Guess he really was tired. Uh, so what about Brad?"

"She's last, she can get whatever's left." I stiffened as Bed gave a warm nuzzling across my cheeks. "You're overdressed for bed." She began peeling me out of the armor. This was moving pretty fast, but I kind of liked Bed Time. I thought maybe I should just go with the flow and not question a good thing.

Joe moved over to the last bed and was soon tucked in and sleeping as well, leaving us to enjoy one another in relative privacy. Bed Time seemed to enjoy peeling me free of the armor, like a strip show that she had control over. She gave soft noises of appreciation with each new piece she worked off, and her hooves explored over exposed fur as I became free to the air. By the time I was naked, I was also painfully aroused.

Sure, she was a pony. Maybe I was a sick person, but that fact really didn't seem to matter so much while she was feeling me up. When she put her soft lips to my oddly shaped tool and kissed the flat end of it, I groaned softly. My mind was made up, I wanted her in all the right or wrong ways. She seemed to detect my readiness and rolled over, presenting her backside to me. "Make me your mare."

My mare? Some part of me thrilled at the idea of it, and I moved in. I'd had some girlfriends before, and didn't rush to bury in her, instead exploring her pony pussy with my tongue. She squeaked and started to squirm as I tasted her. She was hot and soft, and tasted strangely but not unpleasantly of a baked apple pie. Her passage convulsed with my broad tongue's explorations and I knew she was ready for what was to come.

I hopped up on her, wings flapping to keep me steady. I nudged forward, driving that pony cock up along her belly the first time, then across her tail. Third time was the charm as it caught on her winking vulva and slowly sank into her. We both went rigid with pleasure before I pressed inwards slowly, savoring every inch of victory over her form. My mare. I felt a strange new feeling burning inside of me and I leaned in, nibbling at the back of her neck, claiming her as I drove in to her fully. We were consumed with the need to consummate this overwhelming new bond we felt and worked against each other in a frenzy of meeting flesh. Each full push ended with my heavy balls slapping against her with increasing tension. I was getting close. I couldn't tell how she was doing, other than the throaty noises of bliss she let out. Her passage twitched and spasmed around me, but it had done that from the start, almost milking me for the seed I was rapidly building up.

She drove back against me. "Do it! Stop holding it..."

Was I holding it? I grunted softly and rocked against her, letting it all go. A powerful twitch ran along my new member and heat poured freely into her silken passage. Every spurt was a powerful spasm of delight through me. I collapsed against her back, panting for breath, but still held snugly in her before my softening member began to draw back. She let out a soft sigh of completion and turned her head back at me. "You w..." She cut off, looking past me with an expression of distaste. I craned my neck around to see what she was looking at and saw Brad had snuck in during our session and was enjoying the show with a bit of self-pleasure, though she now sported a tool that dwarfed mine.

I nuzzled Bed Time gently. "Ignore her. Thank you, that was great."

Bed Time nuzzled back gently and slipped out from beneath me only to guide me to the bed. Her mouth descended over my spent member. Every touch of her tongue made me jump with sensitivity, becoming a delicious sort of torture until she decided I was clean. We were soon snuggled in together in bed, and faded off to sleep.

Author's Note

Just in case you were wondering why this was rated Mature/Sex. The party's back, and the dynamic has shuffled a bit. What horrors await, and does clopping produce typos? Brad, you traitor!

8 - Welcome to Ponyville

The next day, Bed Time roused them with breakfast in bed. Joe sat up and blinked at the plate of eggs and odd-looking bacon in front of him. "Wow, thanks. I wasn't expecting this."

Brad snorted, currently a blue pegasus mare. She pointed at me. "She's buttering up her boy toy."

Paul, wearing the body of Blank Slate, tilted her head a bit. "Brad, can you try to be polite? Thanks, Bed."

Bed hopped up next to me, and I had an apparent cuddle partner while eating. Her affection was nice, but also a little worrying. On one hand, she was being clingy, on the other, that was such a pony thing to do. I couldn't muster anger at her properly and accepted the snuggling as the warm gesture it was meant to be. "Are we boyfriend/girlfriend now?"

Joe recoiled a little. "Wait, you mean that wasn't Brad shitting around?"

Brad laughed a little. "You should have seen it. He was--" His words were interrupted as Bed hurled her pillow at him, striking him across the face. "God, fuck. Don't get stressed out."

Joe cleared his throat. "Well, uh... congratulations?"

Bed flushed gently. "I would like to be?"

I rubbed behind my head. "I'm going to go home after the adventure, and you belong here. How is that going to work?"

Bed nuzzled gently at the side of my face. "You'll stay with me, or I'll stay with you. For now, we're together. It'll work out."

Paul nodded softly. "Your faith in destiny is humbling."

Joe joined in agreement. "That's kind of amazing. Look at her, she's completely certain. I wish I had that kind of faith."

I pulled her closer and she snuggled in against me, putting off an oddly pure sort of love. She didn't seem to need to own me, like the stereotypical clingy girlfriend, she just knew she wanted to be with me, forever. The last word made my more human sensibilities get wonky. "Would you be happy as a human? We only just met! I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything."

Bed slid down to the floor. "We'll figure it out. For now, how about I show you around?"

Brad waved a hoof dismissively. "Ponyville we know."

Paul shook her head. "I have a feeling we should explore the area."

Joe hopped up to his feet and started getting dressed. "If the GM says explore, I agree."

I rose a hoof. "I'm in, lead the way, Bed Time."

Bed Time moved for my armor and brought it over. She helped me into it without a word, then sat on her haunches. "I should get some of that too."

Joe looked at her and me. "What, armor?"

She nodded quickly. "It helps against monsters and evil things, and you plan to fight those, right?"

Paul raised a hoof as she walked towards the door. "If you're true to your class, nothing heavier than a chain shirt is advised."

She quickly led the way downstairs, and we followed her through town. She seemed to know a lot of ponies, waving to them as they passed by, at least until we ran into Pinkie. Pinkie Pie took one look at her, then all the new ponies around her. She gasped dramatically and took off running.

Bed Time looked over her shoulder at us. "Expect a party before the end of tomorrow. You've entered the crosshairs of Pinkie Pie."

As Bed Time strolled along ahead of us, Joe came trotting up beside me. "Hey, are you cool with this?"

"With what?"

"You know, her." He pointed at Bed Time's butt. "I mean, I'm trying not to judge. I'm sure she's, uh, nice and all... But she sounds ready to exchange rings and vows."

I wasn't sure how I felt, and I said as much. "She's pretty nice, but this is super fast. Maybe that's how ponies do things? They don't... fuck... if they aren't ready to commit?"

Brad came up on my other side. "So which will it be? You going to break her little pony heart, or accept that fragile thing and do your best with it?"

I paused in place, making the other two stop. "Holy shit, Brad. That was... genuinely thoughtful."

Brad shrugged. "It happens once in a while. You know I'm just fucking with you, right?"

I felt some of the anger towards Brad fading away, reminded of why I tolerated him. "Yeah, so, uh, what do you suggest?"

Brad pointed at Bed Time. "Tap dat flank for all it's worth."

I sighed, the moment broken. I suddenly had an idea and trotted to catch up with Bed Time. "Hey. Can we stop by Carousel Boutique? Maybe Rarity could put something together for you, and I had a question for her."

Bed Time quickly nodded. "Of course. Good idea! She's the best at clothes." She turned directions and guided us to Rarity's shop in short order.

On the way Apple Bloom scurried past, stopped, and turned to face us. "What're those fancy-armored ponies wit' ya fer, Bed Time? You on official Canterlot Business?"

Bed Time tilted her head at the filly. "Something like that. They're adventurers, looking for wrongs to right."

Apple Bloom clopped her small hooves together. "Super cool! Well ah gotta get to tha girls. Good luck!" And off she went in a quick-legged gallop.

Joe watched the little filly go. "Well, that was adorable."

Brad snorted softly. "We're here." He pointed ahead at the carousel, from which Sweetie Belle emerged and ran off in the same direction Apple Bloom had just gone.

Paul went limp, and a voice spoke. "The Crusaders were up to their usual mischief, but what trouble would result? Nothing, for now..." Paul came back into Blank Slate, jerking awake.

Bed Time shook her head. "That is still very strange. Does... Does that pony have a heart?"

Paul raised a hoof to her chest and went still a moment. "I think so."

Bed Time snorted. "Not like that! I mean... a mind? If you weren't here, what would she be?"

Paul shrugged a little. "I don't know. I'm not sure she existed until I made her up."

Bed Time turned away from Paul with a disquieted expression. She mouthed open the door to Rarity's shop. "Rarity! Are you in?"

Author's Note

Emotions were shared and the plot advances at its own strange rate.

I think Sweetie Belle was smuggling a few typos!

9 - Surprise!

Rarity emerged from the back with a bright smile. "Darling, do come in! Bring your friends with you."

We stepped into the boutique and the door slammed shut behind us, somehow plunging everything into dark. Weren't there windows a moment ago? The lights came back on, revealing dozens of ponies that could not have been hiding, with Pinkie Pie at the front. "Surprise!"

Bed Time burst into giggles. "Oh wow, you must have bribed Rarity big time to get her to let you have the party here."

Pinkie tilted her head at Bed Time with some confusion. "You know Rarity? Oh! You must have heard about her. She's super popular for her clothes and stuff."

Bed Time blinked softly and tilted her head the other way. "Huh? I've lived in Ponyville for years."

Pinkie pointed upwards where a banner hung. 'Welcome Bed Time, Blank Slate, Cloud Kicker, Joe and Moonlight Shimmer' "I never forget a party. I never threw you one, so you must be new. Simple."

Bed Time flopped onto her haunches. "But I own the inn just over there." She pointed. "How can you..."

Pinkie shook her head quickly. "Nope, no party. You're new."

"But... I've been here... for..." She frowned. "For... I don't remember..." Tears began to flow. "But I came here after... after... My parents..." She sank to the ground, hooves going over her head. She was falling apart and I felt awful as realization came to me.

I stepped forward quickly and set a hoof on her head, stroking gently. "We'll figure this out later, Bed Time. We should enjoy the party for now, right?"

Pinkie bobbed her head at the idea. "Exactly! Welcome to Ponyville!" The tension in the room faded as music began to play and ponies milled around, enjoying themselves.

Paul came up beside me. "I didn't know it would do that. I just wanted there to be an inn."

I sighed. "Yeah... but inns have people, er, ponies inside. No wonder we were the only customers she's had."

Bed Time suddenly sprang up and threw herself at me, knocking me to the ground. "Is any of this real?! Am I just... one of your figments?" She sank against my barrel, sobbing into the fur. "Are all of these feelings lies?"

Brad whispered to Paul. "Why don't you just announce her back into one piece?"

Paul frowned and fidgeted in place. "I think she has to fix this on her own. I caused enough trouble."

I softly petted along the back of Bed Time, murmuring nothing to her at first before I nipped an ear. "Wherever you came from, you're here now. Even if you never were before, you are now."

Bed Time slid up to look at me nose-to-nose. "Can you love a fake pony?"

I slid a hoof under her chin and leaned in, kissing her nose. "You are not fake. You are Bed Time, and you're wonderful."

The words were good enough for the moment, and she hugged close. "What if everything's just because Paul said so? What if our love is fake?"

I perked an ear at Paul. "Well? Did you do anything?"

Paul shook her head. "Nope! I just said there was an inn. I wasn't even thinking about an innkeep."

I rubbed cheeks with Bed Time gently. "You were the best kind of mistake."

Bed snorted out a half-laugh at that, then sat up a little. "It means... I have nothing to go back to. I have no family, no friends. The ponies of Ponyville just think they know me... but they don't. I don't even know me now..."

I shrugged softly and began to stand up, helping her to her hooves. "You are you, and that has to be good enough for now. At least nopony's upset about your inn. We'll figure this out, as friends."

Bed thrust a hoof at Paul. "No more making ponies! It's not right! You... m-might be a god, but it isn't right. It's e-easy for you to do, but we have to live with it."

Joe approached with Rarity at his side. "I found her."

Rarity smiled. "Oh, am I interrupting something? I can wait if you require?"

I shook my head at Rarity. "No No, we had a question for you." I gestured at Bed Time. "Can you make functional, but elegant, armor for the fine mare here?"

Rarity tilted her head. "I'm no metalsmith, dear, if you wanted something like the ensemble you're wearing."

Bed Time shook her head quickly, focusing on the new conversation. "Nothing so heavy. Maybe something leather? Studded for extra protection? I would appreciate whatever you could do."

Rarity tapped at her chin thoughtfully before a measuring tape appeared, floating in air. She took Bed's measurements with a soft humming. "I think I can do something, dear, so put your mind at ease. It's unbecoming for a lady to cry at a party." She reached up and gently brushed away the tears. "You have a fine stallion at your side. He looks ready to support you."

She trotted away, leaving me with a new blush. Bed Time moved in beside me and snuggled. Her trembling was slowly dying down. I'd have to wait until after the party for a chance speak to Rarity. "Let's get some snacks."

The other ponies of Ponyville approached us through the party and engaged in idle conversation. More than a few asked about our weapons and armor, but nopony was too thrown off by it. Telling them truthfully that we were adventurers seemed to earn their respect and wonder. The idea of a heroic band of do-gooders struck most as romantic and exciting, rather than ridiculous.

There were certainly worse ways to spend a morning.

Author's Note

Bed Time learns the Awful Truth.

Perhaps she's discovered the true source of typos.

10 - Learning About Ponies

I finally managed to pin Rarity down a moment in private. "Rarity, I have a few questions about mares, if you have a moment?"

Rarity hiked a brow. "Oh my, we've just barely met, good sir."

I blushed even as I laughed. "Not like that. It's about mares in general." I waved a hoof at her. "How... Uh... This is going to sound bad, but I'm asking with honest curiosity, not trying to offend."

Rarity looked a bit more serious as she turned to look at me with her large eyes. "Alright. You have my attention dear. I will treat this with all the gravity it deserves. What's on your mind?"

I took a slow breath. "Alright, if two ponies... have sex, what usually happens afterwards?"

Rarity raised a brow high even as her cheeks colored. "I do hope this isn't about the birds and the bees. You do know where foals come from, do you not? I can scarcely believe such a strapping stallion would be unaware of it."

I shook my head quickly. "I know that part. I mean... relationship wise? Does sex mean something by itself?"

"By itself?" Rarity looked quite baffled a moment. "Well, I do suppose that depends who you ask, darling. Some ponies are more... liberated... about that kind of thing. If you're asking if you should have sex before marriage, I suggest against it. What would you do if you gave some poor mare a foal?" She fluttered her lashes. "That would be most ungentlecoltly of you."

I sat down on my haunches like a dog would. "Rarity. I had sex with someon--pony, and now she's acting like we're practically already married. Is that normal?"

Rarity frowned a little. "If she offered and you accepted... That is usually only done between already close couples. Do you... have feelings for her as well?" Her frown deepened into a scowl. "Is she some sort of trollop, trying to seduce you, sir knight?"

The mental image of Bed Time with bedroom eyes and seductive negligee made me giggle. "I don't think she's trying to be a bad pony. She seems to genuinely like me, and I... think I like her? It just feels so fast."

Rarity raised a hoof to my shoulder. "Then follow your heart. I know that sounds terribly cliche, but it remains true. If she truly makes your heart flutter, perhaps a life at her side isn't the worst thing that could happen? On the other hoof." She lowered the hoof to the ground. "If you don't wish to proceed, do not engage in... that... again. A first time could be described as an error of judgement, a second would be outright cruelty on your part. To, er, mount... a lady is to accept her as part of yourself. To accept a stallion in being mounted is much the same for her end of things. Your coupling should be a serious event, not an idle tryst."

I nodded slowly, thinking about it. "Alright... I think... You've been very helpful, Rarity. If I want to continue, then just do as I have been doing, but if not, we should keep it to hugs at most."

Rarity nodded her head with smile. "Precisely so. Be honest, with yourself, and her. Love can be a very thorny issue, but I have every confidence you will handle it with the grace required."

She rose and returned to the gathering just as Bed Time came up beside me and nuzzled into my neck I flinched in surprise, but quickly melted into her. "Hey Bed."

Bed yawned softly. "Parties always wear me out."

I wondered at that. "Are you sure?"

Bed paused, then frowned. A tremble ran through her body. "No..."

I felt guilty for throwing that existential grenade at her and turned to her. We shared a soft kiss and the moment was soon forgotten. "Well we got what we came for. Rarity will get to work on your suit."

Bed smiled brightly. "I'm sure it'll look great. So, uh... What were you talking to Rarity about?"

I considered a dozen different white lies before deciding to take Rarity's advice and try honesty. "I was asking about our time together, and how quickly ponies usually move relationships."

Bed Time perked her ears, looking at once nervous and hopeful. "Oh? Did... What did you say? What did she say? She took a half-step back. "I'm being rude. You don't have to answer that."

I advanced with her and rubbed snouts together. "It's OK. I never had sex with a pony before. You surprised me when you started acting like a wife the next morning."

Bed flushed darkly. "It felt right... If I'm annoying you..."

I rubbed nose-tips together gently. "You haven't annoyed me so far, just spooked me. I want to give this a try, a real try." Her expression brightened. "You're a good pony, and like you said, there's nothing tying you here. Worst comes to worst, you come with me after the game." Extradimensional loyal wife who knows how to cook and clean and keep a house? There are worse things one can get out of this. Besides, I really did like being around her, as I found every time we were together.

She perked an ear. "I had a question... If we find a way to, would you consider... staying here, in Equestria? You could be a hero here."

At what price? I wasn't sure I was quite that sold on the pony physique, wings and all, to trade in the human form forever. "I'm not ready for that leap. I will say, if I was staying here, I'd definitely stay with you."

She giggled girlishly and turned away, swatting me with her tail before she trotted off to the snack table.

Joe slid up at my side when she left and I chuckled. "Wow, is there a line waiting for me?"

Joe shrugged. "Maybe. I was watching. You get your question answered?" I relayed what Rarity said basically. "Huh, so...?"

"So?"

Joe pointed at Bed Time. "You doing it or not? Kind of creepy to me. She's not even a... real person. Paul made her up."

I frowned at that. "Sure she is. She's missing a past, but she's got a present and future. She has feelings, she has a body, and she worries about things just like we do. We should focus on making that future instead of worrying about a past that isn't there."

Brad snickered as she wandered up to join the conversation. "I bet you'll make a future, with little legs and the clippity clop of foals. That actually gives me a great idea. Anyone see Paul?" She wandered off without waiting for reply.

Joe watched Brad a moment. "I hope to whatever god is listening Paul does not make a pony for Brad. That would be so incredibly wrong."

I frowned a little. "I hope he doesn't make any more ponies at all. Bad enough making the monsters we hack our way through, come to think of it, at least they're temporary. Ponies have to live with the mess we make."

Joe shrugged softly. "What if this whole world is just like her, but better detailed? It could all be a big fat figment of imagination."

I waved a hoof. "Welcome to philosophy. They've been arguing life is a dream longer than either of us were alive."

Pinkie appeared abruptly, not approaching, simply being there. "Is everypony having a good time!?"

Author's Note

Philosphy, the true enemy of typos! I think? That may have been a dream.

11 - Answering the Call

As the party wound down, Twilight approached them, dressed informally, which is to say naked as usual. "Excuse me. I'm told you are specialists in monster-slaying, troubleshooting, and general swordponyship?"

The group looked at her curiously before Brad stepped forward. "That we are! What can we do for you Princess Twilight Sparkle?"

Twilight fluttered her wings a little. "No need to be so formal. I was just curious to hear if you were still seeking employment? Princess Celestia sent word to find the ponies who cleared out the old outpost, which was apparently your team?"

Joe nodded his head quickly. "That was us, miss. How can we help?"

She smiled brightly. "Oh good. We're always on the lookout for talented ponies to help out. There's a dozen such troubling places scattered across Equestria. You could really help your fellow pony out if you're willing to put that talent of yours to work."

Brad raised a brow. "Does this involve royal pay?"

"Oh, uh." Twilight's ears twitched softly as she put a hoof to her chin. "Of course! You're sellswords, not super heroes, I suppose."

Bed Time frowned a little at this declaration. "I just want to help. I don't need a lot of bits for that."

Twilight pointed at Bed time. "That's the spirit! Such wonderful civic-mindedness."

Brad lifted a hoof. "I could be convinced to work without bits for the company of a dozen lusty mares."

Twilight's poor mind crashed. She stared at Brad with jaw agape and eyes wide. She couldn't even process the words spoken.

I moved between them carefully. "That was a joke. She's joking, your majesty."

She laughed nervously. "Ah heh... yeah... a joke, of course." With a twinkle of her horn, she summoned a map with big red marks scattered on it. "Here's a map of the trouble spots. Take care of them in any order you can. When you've cleared a place, just cross out the circle and Celestia and I will know you've done your part." She dipped her head. "Thank you all. Me and the girls can only take care of so much at a time."

Brad snorted softly. "I'll settle for two?"

Joe gently nudged Brad away from Twilight, with much complaint coming from her. "A little payment would be appreciated, your highness. We have to upkeep our gear and get new stuff hopefully."

Twilight nodded lightly. "Of course. I'll be sure to inform Celestia and she'll handle all that. I don't have any official say over the royal coffers just yet. If you have any questions, just let me know." A bright smile, and she fled the scene as quickly as her lavender hooves could carry her.

Paul raised a brow at Brad. "That insolence will surely come back to haunt you."

Brad snorted. "Stop talking funny, and fuck you. I bet she'd have given it to me if you jerks didn't get in the way."

Bed Time stomped a hoof at Brad. "I've never seen a mare act so brazenly in Twilight's presence before. You should be ashamed."

"You haven't seen anything from before a few days ago." Brad sneered at Bed Time, then sauntered off to the punch bowl.

Bed Time deflated at the jab at her deceptive existence. I went to her and wrapped a leg around, holding her close. "Hey, don't let her get to you. You were right, that was out of line."

Bed Time nodded slowly before she seemed to rebound and gave me a soft nuzzle. The party concluded without any further surprises.

We emerged into mid-afternoon and Paul went slack mid-step, falling over on her face.

"The party was acquainted with the friendly ponies of Ponyville, but their resolve would be tested before day's end. If they could not be crushed underhoof, their wills could be bent."

Paul snapped awake with a sputter, clambering to her hooves. "You have no idea how odd that feels."

Brad tilted his head. "Well, tell us?"

Paul considered this a moment. "It's sort of like you have to go to the bathroom, then I lost my 'grip' and I fall away from this pony body. The words gush out of me, and then I can get back in."

Brad snickered. "It's literally verbal diarrhea? Awesome."

Joe rolled his eyes. "You would find the most awful way to put that, but from the sounds of it, yes. It's better than being without a body though, right?"

Paul quickly nodded. "For sure. It felt awful being there, but not there? At least I have a pulse and parts, horse parts as they may be. Besides, it means I get to play too."

Brad waggled her brows. "Play huh?"

"Not that desperate."

Bed Time looked around a little. "Is noone else worried about the words Paul said? Something's going to attack us."

I shrugged a little. "Sure, but we knew that already. We don't know what it is, so what can we do about it?"

Bed Time huffed. "You could be a little worried about it at least?"

I leaned in and rubbed snouts with her. "What if I said I felt safe with you?"

Bed Time warmed in the cheeks. "I'd say you were a liar, but a very nice one. Paul, can't you tell us what's coming?"

Paul shook her head. "The more I try to think about it, the less certain my grip gets. I have a fairly good feeling that if I try too hard, I'll be thrown out of this body and then I won't want to say. I can be the Game Master, or a player, not both." She sat down in the dirt. "I don't want to be an outsider this time. I want to be with the party."

Joe moved beside Paul. "I can understand that. Welcome to the team. You're less creepy as a possessed pony than a faceless ghost proclaiming the world around us anyway, which is the oddest observation I've had all day I think."

Author's Note

The party's over, but the party's just warming up. What will test our heroes? I bet it's typos....

12 - To Action!

We regathered at Bed Time's inn and spread the map out wide between ourselves. Bed Time pointed at a circle. "This one's not that far away, just at the edge of the Everfree. We could start there?"

I nodded in agreement. "No reason to go rushing half-way across Equestria when there's one in our backyard, so to speak."

Brad shrugged her shoulders. "As long as we get back by night. I have a date I don't plan on missing."

Joe raised a brow. "Some 'lusty mare'?"

Brad waved a hoof. "Nah. I'm over that. I'm going for the classy ones like I always wanted to. I was getting carried away."

Paul paused a moment. "You... didn't go after Rarity did you?"

Brad smiled. "She'd be an alright catch, but no. Octavia has her beat for class, and she agreed to a nice swanky time out. I'd rather Luna--"

Bed Time jerked upright. "Don't even joke about that! Princess Luna has better things to do."

Joe shook his head. "How did you convince Octavia to do that? Wait, which one's Octavia again?"

I offered a description. "Grey earth pony, wears a little bowtie, looks cultured? She plays, uh, that thing that looks like a person-sized violin?"

Joe nodded slowly. "OK, I remember her. How did you get her not to run away in abject terror?"

Brad gestured vaguely. "I used my charisma."

I didn't get it. "What?"

Brad flashed a bright smile. "Twenty charisma, ten ranks in diplomacy, bluff, and sense motive."

Paul frowned quickly. "You were level eight, how did you get ten ranks in anything?"

Brad shrugged softly. "Ooops? Guess I must have gained a level or two..."

Joe joined in the scowling. "So, you cheated?"

Brad waved a hoof. "You mean I was smart? Yes! We're in a game. Why wouldn't we cheat?"

Paul, or rather Blank Slate, fell to the ground in a heap.

"You must be punished!" The angry voice of Paul the GM boomed. "Since you can't stop thinking with your genitals, you will learn that too much of a good thing can turn quite sour." The ground trembled under us. Bed Time pressed against me fearfully as the others looked around, waiting for something to happen.

Brad scoffed. "Chill out, Paul. You're just angry you didn't think of it first. We're going to smash the hell out of the next dungeon."

"Brad jeered and mocked the game, but he would find his just desserts soon enough. He forgot all about the ill-fated conversation and instead focused on hunger that filled his mare of a body."

Paul sat up, occupying Blank Slate again. Brad glanced around. "Bed Time, can you get us some dinner? I'm starved."

Bed Time gave a stiff nod before she wandered towards the kitchen. Everyone else was a bit quiet. Brad looked confused. "What? So we're going to the Everfree dungeon first right?"

I nodded. "Yeah... I vote we get a good night's sleep and head out first thing in the morning. Maybe Rarity will have Bed Time's armor ready by then too."

Brad shrugged. "Great. That means I can enjoy my date in peace."

I looked to Brad. "So... how do you 'use' a stat like that? I mean, besides just... talking?"

Brad frowned a little. "You have to focus on it, then your words get more weight, depending on your stats. Just like Joe just had to focus on spellcrafting the magic item. We have all of our skills and stats."

I nodded lightly. "Like how I can fly despite not having wings for most of my life?"

Joe nodded. "And how I got a grip on casting so quickly. Makes sense enough. It wouldn't be a very fair game if we couldn't use what was on our sheets."

Paul shook herself out. "I'm still getting the hang of it. I wasn't exactly in a body last time."

Bed Time trotted back into view, platters of food balanced on her back expertly. She gently set down the hot food in front of us, setting one right in front of me and sliding up beside me to share it with me. She was kind of adorable. "Bed Time, I have a question." She looked at me quizzically. "What do you like about me?"

She frowned in sudden thought. "You're nice, loyal to your friends, brave... Handsome, strong... You're..." Her head sunk a little and she leaned in, her voice lowering to a soft whisper. "You are a gentle lover." She leaned back upright and smiled hopefully.

I leaned in and nuzzled her gently. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around you, Bed Time. I never got a girlfriend so fast, and so hard. You act like we've been married for a while already."

"Do you want to be?" She tilted her head. "Isn't it destiny that brought us together? I'm happy when I'm next to you, and you seem happy next to me. What's missing?"

I chuckled a little. "I guess not much more, besides me not really being a pony."

She nuzzled into my chest. "Eat, and you're pony enough by my viewing." She snapped up a plate in her mouth and brought it up to me, teasing me with its delectable aroma. My questions were defeated in favor of enjoying the meal with her.

Brad rose to her hooves after dinner, sprouting wide wings. "I'm taking off. Don't wait up for me. I plan to go all the way with that fine slice of mare." She trotted off with a happy whistling to the door, soon gone.

Paul raised a brow. "She shouldn't have cheated..."

Author's Note

Brad, come on... you don't admit to the GM you cheated. That's not a good idea...

Arguably even worse than typos, and very few things compete with typos.

13 - I am Octavia

Brad ambled along with a soft whistle on her lip. Visions of Octavia's lovely grace occupied her mind and brought a smile to her snout. It would be a good evening. She arrived at Octavia and Vinyl's house and knocked lightly with a hoof. A moment later the door opened to reveal Vinyl Scratch. "Yeah?"

"Oh, hey, could you get Octavia?"

Vinyl smiled slowly. "Oh, so you're the one?" Brad was about to say something when she lashed out a hoof, punching Brad across the face roughly. "You total jerk! What kind of crazy mind-control magic did you use?"

Brad snorted angrily. "I did not use any magic. I just asked her nicely."

"Horse apples." Vinyl grabbed Brad in her magic and threw her into the house, stepping out of the way for her trajectory. "Nothing makes Tavi late for a meeting! We had a date, and you made her willing to skip out on it." She slammed Brad into the couch. "When I reminded her of where she was supposed to be, she cried. You made my Octavia cry." She kicked the door shut behind her. "Now you get to pay the price."

Brad hopped up to her hooves. "Chill out." He focused on his diplomacy. "There's nothing to be stressing out about. If you're jealous, we could make it a three-way date, right?"

Vinyl's teeth clenched as she advanced on Brad. "Oh yeah... You're right. We should totally play together. I was being totally lame."

"Yeah." Brad smiled. "That's what I'm saying. Relax. Let's have fun."

"What kind of... fun... do you like?" Vinyl leaned in close, her breath felt over Brad's face. "I can play all kinds of games..."

Brad clearly approved of the new direction Vinyl was taking. "Now now, let's be patient. It was my mistake to leave you out last time. Let's get Octavia."

Vinyl slowly nodded as her hooves wandered over Brad. "How could I not see how amazing you are? You're right though, we should get Octavia. Oh, there she is. Hey Tavi, want to play?"

A new voice spoke, "Yes, let's." Octavia brought down a chair on the back of Brad's head, splintering it over her skull into so many wood fragments.

Brad awoke later to the sound of the two conversing quietly. "Let me handle it, Vinyl. We can just turn it over to the guards and be done with it."

"No way," spoke an angry Vinyl. "That jerk hurt you, Octavia. I say we hurt it back! I'll give it exactly what it wants until it dies."

Vinyl walked into the room, a bedroom. Brad was securely fastened to the bed with thick rope. "Hey there, awake? Good. We're going to play a little game."

Brad pulled and thrashed on the bed. "This isn't funny anymore. I didn't hurt you."

Vinyl scowled at Brad a moment before a false smile spread over her snout. "I won't hurt you either. Now you just lay there like a good little... whatever you are."

A puffy-eyed Octavia followed more timidly. "Vinyl, please. It's done enough. This isn't like you. We don't even know what that thing is. It could do something awful to you. Why would you even want to touch it?"

Vinyl hesitated a moment. "But... it hurt you, Tavi. It made you cry. Nopony makes my Tavi cry and gets away with it!"

Octavia threw her forelegs around Vinyl, hugging her tightly. "You're a wonderful pony and a dear friend, but hurting it anymore won't make me happier. Please..."

Vinyl frowned into the hug, but stiffly nodded. "Alright... if you say so..."

Brad wiggled a hoof. "Don't suppose you could let me go?"

"Fuck you." Vinyl turned tail away from the strange doppelganger pony that Brad had reverted to. "You're just lucky Octavia is an angel on Equestria." She kissed Octavia's cheek gently. "Anything for you babe. Come on, we'll call the guards." The two walked out together, leaving Brad to her own devices.

Brad pulled at the ropes and they fell free of her after enough wriggling and tugging. "Ha, my CMB is high enough." She shook herself out and became a normal looking pony again. "Now to get out of here." She sprouted wide wings and slid the door open before retreating into the night, sailing away into the sky and her failed date. She could see two gold-plated guards entering Octavia and Vinyl's house and she redoubled her speed away.

Brad slid into a bed when she got back. She saw Joe and Paul had shared a bed, though they weren't touching. Ian and Bed Time were all cozy under a blanket. Brad grunted softly in annoyance. Why did Ian already get a waifu, before he did? This injustice would be fixed soon. The ponies wouldn't be able to refuse him for long.

Brad curled up under her covers and realized she was close to her neglected nethers. Deciding to work off some of the pent-up steam, she extended a tongue and began to taste the petals before her, imagining the tongue of the earth pony she had been denied earlier. It wasn't as nice as the attention of another pony, but it would have to do. How had that all fallen apart? Brad's mind whirred, trying to find where she had failed in her seduction of that prized cello player. Vinyl Scratch, of course. Her thoughts caught as she brought herself to a peak and trembled around herself in little fitful spasms. Feeling more relaxed, she flopped out onto the bed, thoughts of the next day teasing at her before she faded from wakefulness.

Author's Note

Why can't big dates ever go well in Equestria?

Typos, that's why.

14 - Everfree Ever Free

The group awoke the next day. Paul was first, stretching out and nudging Joe with a hoof in the stretch, rousing him. "Huh?" Paul apologized and slid to the floor.

Their noise was enough to rouse Brad, who rolled out of bed and quickly assumed the form of a unicorn similar to Twilight, though the color was slightly off and the cutie mark was a smiley face.

I was the last up, shaken awake by Bed Time. She hugged close, then pushed to her own hooves. "I'll get started on breakfast." And off she went, clip-clopping down the stairs.

I got up out of bed and looked to the others. "Ready?"

Joe snorted. "After breakfast. How'd it go, Brad?"

Brad's expression soured. "Nothing worked. It was total bullshit. I convinced Octavia to go with it, and Vinyl got all mad. I tried to make Vinyl happy and something whacked me over the head. The way they were talking about it, Vinyl was ready to kill me."

Joe raised a brow. "Maybe they're an item? Even if they aren't, you're kind of being a douche. You don't know them beyond what you saw in some cartoon somewhere."

Paul snorted but remained silent. I felt the need to voice in. "What you saw wasn't even enough to qualify a personality. You basically tried to rape both of them with smooth moves and got hit for it."

Brad frowned at me. "It's not rape if I ask and they say yes. That's the opposite of rape."

I wobbled a hoof. "With cheated stats? You're basically trying to mind control them."

"Your mom's trying to mind control them."

I blinked. "What?"

Paul chuckled softly. "When in doubt, mom jokes. I'm going to get something to eat." She trotted off after Bed Time, and I followed after. Soon we were all downstairs and enjoying what Bed Time had prepared for us.

With the meal done, Joe offered to help clean up, and they retreated into the kitchen. I glanced at Paul. "Hey, man, you OK with a mare's body like that? It was weird when I tried it."

Paul shrugged softly. "It's not that different is it? If we're getting this chance to try things out, why not go full in?"

"Your mom went full in."

Paul snorted. "That one worked better. Anyway, I'm not sleeping around, so it's not that big a deal." He pointed at me. "Unlike you. You have a girlfriend. How's that?"

I flushed softly, considering that. "Kind of... nice? I can't think of too much about her I'm not growing to like. It's the first time I had a girl that serious about making me happy."

"Your mom--"

"Enough." I clopped a hoof down. "You got shot down, we get it."

We got dressed in our armor, double-checked our supplies, and soon we were trotting out of Ponyville towards the Everfree. "Where dreams come to die at the claws of terrible beasts." Paul grinned. "My first real adventure!"

Joe chuckled softly. "You're sounding really excited about this. What are you again? A wizard?"

Paul nodded at that. "Blank Slate is an accomplished evoker."

Bed Time tilted her head. "What is that?"

I answered with a flick of my head towards Paul. "It means he makes things explode real good."

Paul clopped his forehooves together. "And I'm looking forward to trying it. It's in the Everfree, so it's probably not sentients. We get to blast beasties and stuff and not feel guilty."

We soon arrived at the spot, which was little more than stone stairs leading right into the ground. Joe tilted his head at it. "Really? It's like it was put here just for us."

Brad shrugged. "Maybe it was? Let's get to smashing up everything." She gestured at the stairs. "Knights first." She was looking at Joe.

Joe huffed. "Oh sure, now that you're not huge you're not so eager to rush into places."

I stepped up towards the stairs. "No reason to get the healer in trouble. I'll go first."

Bed Time quickly rushed up beside me. "I'll go second." Though she volunteered, her voice quivered a little. She was clearly a little scared of it, but...

I turned to her and gently rubbed snout to snout. "You don't have to."

"I want to." She nuzzled back, and we descended into the dungeon.

We stuck to the numbers, and it was fairly smoothly going at first. A few wights here, a gaggle of elementals over there. Even Bed Time was warming up with the practiced tactics we brought to bear on each room. Paul was having a great time, unleashing the elements with a giddy little giggle of delight. Joe kept us in fighting trim, serving quite well as the group medic whenever the monsters landed a lucky shot. We pushed open the next door and found Octavia bound to a chair securely.

She looked up at us with a bright and hopeful smile. "Thank Celestia! Somepony came to rescue me!" She pulled at her ropes. "Please, get me out of here!"

Brad advanced quickly with a smirk on her lips. "It'd be my pleasure."

Octavia narrowed her eyes a little when Brad came into view. "Keep your hooves where I can see them."

"Oh relax, I'm rescuing you." Brad quickly had her out of the ropes. "See, I'm not so bad."

Octavia slid to her hooves and shook herself out. "No... I suppose not. Sorry for acting that way. In fact... maybe I should reward you." She turned towards him with fluttering lashes. It felt wrong and I was about to say as such when Paul put a hoof up to my mouth and shook her head quickly.

Author's Note

Dungeon 2, go! Now with Bed Time melee action, and a surprise appearance by Octavia!

What's she doing here? Did she set up these typos?

15 - Are You Happy to See Me?

Octavia licked over her snout as she approached Brad. "The kind of reward I have in mind isn't appropriate for your friends to watch."

Brad waved the rest of the party away. "You heard her, buzz off."

Paul turned for the door, waving for us to follow, and soon we were standing outside the room. She closed the door, then went limp. Paul's voice spoke lightly to us from nowhere. "The party knew Brad was facing his punishment. There was little purpose to a game if one ignore's the rules, and they watched through the wall, allowed to witness the justice being handed down."

Paul snapped back to life and turned around. The wall had become a one-way mirror, and we could hear and see everything.

Octavia, or what pretended to be her, had advanced on Brad, stroking over her body with eager hooves. "I never noticed how well-built you were. I was such a fool before, turning you away. What was I thinking?"

Brad nuzzled along her neck, nibbling through her fur. "It's OK. That's old news now. Let's just enjoy the moment."

*** Since it occurs to me to put in a warning, clop be here. Look for clop end to skip. ***

Octavia slipped her head underneath Brad's barrel, nuzzling up along her belly until she arrived between her legs, where she sniffed and flicked out a broad tongue, tasting Brad's dampened petals. Brad licked her lips with a soft pleased rumble. "Which way do you prefer it?"

Octavia drew her head back out. "Hmm?"

"Innie, or outtie?" Brad pressed nose-to-nose. "I can ride you all night long if you prefer it."

Octavia's face become a grin of delight. "That sounds wonderful. Is it a toy? Vinyl's tried a few of those before..."

Brad transitioned quietly from female to male, voice deepening. "No toys here. Present."

Octavia turned away from Brad, hiking her tail out of the way. "Such a talented little thing you are. Go on..."

"There's nothing little about this." Brad scoffed as he hopped up onto her and shuffled into position. He pushed eagerly into her tight depths with a low grunt of pleasure. A strange new pleasure suddenly bolted through him and he exploded thickly into her despite having just mounted her. She moaned whorishly, pressing back against his twitching tool as it filled her. Brad felt dizzy and drained, but good. Despite the brevity, its intensity was incredible.

"More," commanded Octavia, driving back against his still hard shaft. "Fill me."

Brad pulled back a few inches before sinking deeply into her with a wet squelch, starting to rock against her in eager motions. With every other shove, his body went tense as climax shuddered through him. She was literally draining him dry, but he never felt sore or empty. The pleasure only grew with every shuddering explosion into the wanton pony under him. Brad sunk against Octavia, strength abandoning him to the point that he couldn't push against her any longer.

Octavia looked over her shoulder. "Aw, already done?" She swayed her hips back and forth, her back end a sopping mess of their shared fluids. "I'm not." Her velvety tunnel gripped him solidly and began to pull at him, stroking him without movement between them. His next release was the biggest yet and he howled in a mixture of ecstasy and sudden pain. Something more than cum had been extracted from him, and he felt it a moment before he collapsed across her back lifelessly.

*** Clop End ***

Paul glanced sideways at the others. "That's that."

I recoiled. "Uh, dude. Punishment is one thing... but you just killed him. That's a bit much."

Paul shook her head. "I don't think he's dead."

Bed Time shrank back against me. "That was horrible! He deserved to be punished, sure, but not... that."

Paul turned for the door and nudged it open. Joe put up a hoof quickly. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes." Paul strode in towards the false Octavia.

Octavia rubbed her swollen belly, looking at Paul placidly.

Paul nodded at Octavia. "We need him back, please."

Octavia ceased to be Octavia, becoming a pony with deep red fur and bat-like wings. Her hooves were cloven and delicate horns curled back from her head. She was a demon pony. "You'll have to wait. I don't work that quickly." She huffed softly. "Why should I give my child to you anyway?"

I approached, filled with morbid curiosity. "Child? You mean he's in... there?" I pointed to the demon's swollen belly. "And not in there?" Where Brad's lifeless form was sprawled on the ground. "Creepy. Uh..." I didn't really have any good arguments for why a demon should give up its kid, horrific though its source may be. I looked to the others.

Joe shook his head firmly. "Don't look at me. This is way too freaky for me to wrap my head around. Can we get back to fighting evil instead of sleeping with it? That was a lot less confusing."

Bed Time was in firm agreement. "Paul, please, tell us you have a plan? I don't know what to do here. As... evil as I think this demon is, she is the literal tool of fate. I can't be angry at her for this."

The she-demon batted her lashes at Bed Time. "I love you too."

Paul reached out a hoof and gently rubbed the demon's womb through her red fur. "We'll wait, but you must give him back to us. That was the deal."

She pouted softly. "I don't know how you are aware of that, but fine." She settled to the ground, and we all waited. "His soul was already dark, it shouldn't take long..."

Joe busied himself by stripping Brad's form of equipment. Bed Time tilted her head at the looting. "Is that right?"

Joe shrugged. "If he comes back, he'll want it. If he doesn't, we'll want it. Win-win."

Author's Note

A question! What should Brad come back as, now that he has fallen for the wiles of this infernal beast? It's up to you, loyal readers!

What manner of typos infests the dreams of the corrupted?

16 - Birth of a New Era

The demon pony stretched out and gave a soft little grunt. "They feel ready." She grit her teeth and made little noises. She was no delicate flower of matronly splendor. She demanded the birth, and woe unto any child of hers that was slow about it. Almost violently she expelled a red and wet sac to the ground and let out a sigh of relief. "It's been fun. I have other planes to torment." She looked over the party. "Unless one of you wants a ride? No? Fine." She vanished in a puff of brimstone and flames.

Their eyes settled on the almost bloody-looking sac. Bed Time looked sick considering it and turned away. I couldn't really blame her. "So... Do we wait some more? Is he coming out of that thing?"

Paul advanced with uncertainty, reaching a hoof and tapping the thing. It split open with a wet squelch, revealing a little demonic-looking goat, not that goats had to work very hard to fit our definition of 'demonic'. The reddish fur was notable. He looked... tiny? I moved up beside Paul "Is he a baby?"

Paul shrugged. "I have no idea." She sat down and gently nudged Brad. "You in there?"

Brad shook himself out, then stood up. "Why are you all huge?"

Joe chuckled at that. "We aren't any bigger, genius."

"Your mom's bigger." Brad seemed to be getting a hold of his new body. "Alright, why the hell am I so small?"

I rolled my eyes. "Good choice of words. You're a little hellspawn now."

"Lame." Brad looked himself over, then appeared to try to do something, concentrating to no visible effect. "The fuck! Why can't I shapeshift?"

Paul rolled a hoof. "Fiendish cloven don't have any shapeshifting powers, and you're level 1, and you don't even have a class yet."

Brad's face fell. "You're shitting with me! I'm not even a PC anymore if you do that."

Paul snorted and frowned. "Don't cheat and we don't have to go through this." She stomped a hoof on the ground. "We've wasted enough time with you. Let's continue. I hope she was a good lay at least."

Brad thought back to it. "Uh... yes, actually..." He sounded a little sheepish (goatish?) as he admitted that. "Look, I'm sorry, OK? Turn me back! I'm useless!"

Bed Time suddenly advanced on him. "You were useless before! Worse than useless! You were given another chance by fate to be better than... what you were. Don't squander it." She bared her teeth a moment before sighing. "Now come on. We have a quest to finish."

The party as a whole agreed to forge on and we began to walk towards the next room. Brad followed after us on quickly pumping little legs. "Hold up! These legs aren't good at fast."

We let him suffer and continued apace. We missed Brad's DPS a little, but the party worked together with so much less friction that it made up for it. Everyone smiled at everyone else, and no one had bad things or snarky comments to say. As we reached what felt to be the last room, we felt confident.

Brad caught up with some huffing. "Blank Slate, can you.. scry into the room?"

Paul tilted her head. "That's a good idea." She sat down and pulled out a crystal ball, starting to cast a spell over it. An image formed within it of a skeletal pony seated on a throne. There were channels of lava running through the room.

Joe tapped each of us, a burst of flames escaping our pelts. "Fire protection up." He went through the party again. "Death ward up. We're ready for this."

Brad waved small hooves. "You didn't hit me."

Joe pointed at Brad. "Because if you're smart, you're staying out here. The boss probably has some AoE, and if you get caught in one, you'll go from annoyed to dead real fast."

Brad sunk to the floor, sulking but not arguing.

We kicked the door in and charged into battle. The skeletal pony rose up smoothly. "Who dares defile my tomb? Begone, or serve me forever!"

Bed Time, bless her heart, charged right for the guy with a loud war cry. I was right beside her, lance aimed at the skeleton. The lava channels we were jumping over suddenly exploded upwards, creating a hedge maze of heat instead of dangerous stepping stones. Charge foiled, we began to make our way through the maze, battling smaller skeletons and flame elementals that sprung up to bar our way.

"Sleet Storm!" Paul sent a frigid blast over the plumes of lava, turning them into sheets of cooled rock. I grabbed Bed Time and took awkward flight, barely getting her up on top of the stones. We could see the big boss, glaring at us with his cold blue flames of eyes. We were on him after a few jumps, but he conjured forth a fresh wave of skeletal minions to distract us from him. This is why I took cleave! I bashed through the skeletons in great sweeping strikes, knocking them into still flowing channels of lava to burn.

Bed Time bashed the boss' skull with a hoof. "Your little pets can't stop us!"

"Maybe... How about something larger?" With a grand gesture, the room darkened as a dragon made of shadows made its appearance with a roar.

"With the power of the sun, I strike you down!" A shaft of blinding light erupted from Joe, striking the shadow dragon dead on and making it howl in agony. I charged the beast, flying at it and plunging my lance deep into the shadow stuff that made up its body.

It began to discorporate instantly. "Finish him off, Bed Time!"

Bed was only too happy to comply, knocking the boss back onto his side and coming down with her hooves, smashing him to bits.

We were suddenly gathered around the table, the adventure concluded.

Joe pointed to where Brad should be. "Shit!" There was no Brad. His figure was still on the board, though it was now a little hell-goat kid.

Author's Note

This is what you get for making typos on purpose, Brad.

18 - Battle Plan

With the food set out on the table and eating begun, Paul faced the rest of the table. "Guys, I have a thought."

Joe rolled a hand. "Yeah?"

"What if we're not supposed to escape?"

I shrugged between chews of my fried rice. "What do you mean by that?"

Paul pointed at Bed Time and Blank Slate. "What if we're supposed to just join this world, you know, permanently? It isn't letting us leave, but it did let Brad go on the other side."

Joe snorted annoyedly. "I don't want to be a horse, and I have a job, and a girlfriend."

Paul pointed at Joe's character sheet. "You could fix the horse part, if you wanted."

Joe grabbed the sheet roughly and tore it in half, vanishing instantly.

I blinked at the space that once held Joe. "Uh... Fuck."

Bed Time offered more optimistically. "Maybe he's free?"

Blank Slate seemed to be in agreement. "He has rent his tie to this fate. May he find peace in whatever fateless world he now finds himself."

Paul let out a loud sigh. "Well, that leaves two of us, besides the girls. Brad's already stuck in there... I don't have a character sheet to rip up. Are you going?"

Paul looked at me with a resigned expression. I could go. Just tear that sheet, and poof, gone. But that'd mean leaving Bed Time and Paul behind. If Bed Time ripped her sheet, she'd probably go back to a pony in ponyland, not a human. Paul was stuck either way. Abandoning either of them felt like an awfully shitty thing to do.

Bed Time circled the table and rested a hand on my shoulder. "If you want to go home, I won't stop you. If you love something, you can't keep it away from what it wants." She smiled a sad little smile. "I'll always think of you."

Fuck! I shoved the sheet away. "I'm staying. We don't have a healer now though."

Paul nodded in agreement. "Well I could make one, but I think I've made enough ponies, don't you?"

Blank Slate gestured at the game table. "It is your power to create and change fate, my master. You should not look at it as a burden, but a gift."

Paul rest his head on his palms, elbows on the table. "Who says we have to keep adventuring? We could just, you know, settle down with what we have? If we keep pushing, the dice will turn on us eventually, and we'll be dead."

Blank Slate gestured at herself. "I would be dead. You are eternal, fate master."

"Not much better."

I imagined Paul all alone at the table and frowned. "You have a point..." Was I really ready to settle in Equestria? Bed Time squeezed my shoulder lightly and answered the question for me. There are way worse ways to go than living a life with someone who really loves you. "Let's do it. We'll tell Twilight we closed the dungeon in the Everfree and that we're retiring, and she'll have to find some other victims to finish the job."

Paul looked to Blank Slate. "Is this OK with you?"

"Why would it not be?" She looked perplexed.

"I mean, just living through you forever?"

She shook her head. "That is what I trained my life for. How else can a god exist in the mortal realm? I can think of no greater honor than to be your vessel."

Paul frowned a little. "You know I just... made you up, right?"

Her face brightened with a smile. "To know my life is free of the tyranny of chance, even from the start. You fill me with joy."

Paul sank, putting his face into a palm. "Alright, let's go back, for good this time, I guess. If we don't go on an adventure, we won't come back."

I nodded a little stiffly. "There are worse ways of going, all things considered." I kept my theory that Paul might eventually snap back even after our pony selves died of old age. He could discover that on his own if it ever proved to be true.

"Alright, give me a perception roll."

It was the last roll I ever made.

Author's Note

The worst typo of them all, THE END!

Ian and Paul and Brad (now a fiendish goat kid) lived out their life in Equestria. Joe escaped back to reality.

I hope everyone enjoyed the ride! This was a paid comission, of which 20,000 words were paid for, but we went a bit over because happy customers are the best customers. The story's done here, unless someone really insists it be continued.

2 - Inns are Always Safe

I approached the counter of the inn. There was a female earth pony behind there. She had blue fur and sea green mane and tail. Her cutie mark was that of a pillow. "Hi there! Are you traveling through? I don't get much business."

Unable to restrain my curiosity, I asked. "How do you stay open?"

She shrugged softly. "Want a room? Oh! My name's Bed Time. Who are you?"

I considered giving my real name again but thought better of it. As the pegasus had said, it was odd for a pony name. "Cloud Kicker." It was my character's name, who... I kind of was now? It was very confusing.

"Cloud Kicker? I'm pretty sure I met another pony with that name. What are the odds?" She picked up a key off the rack behind her and set it on the counter. "Three bits please."

Joe approached from behind me and set three gold coins down. She tilted her head. "Oh, uh, this is too much."

Joe picked up the gold coins and tried replacing them with silver ones. "More please." He settled on ten silver coins and she accepted it. "You must be really new in town! Have fun with your stay! Room's good for a week." Joe picked up the key in his magic as Bed Time smiled. "Is this a honeymoon? You two look like an adorable couple."

My cheeks went hot instantly. I don't know how ponies can blush through all that fur, but I was doing a fine job of it. "Thanks, but no, we're just friends."

Joe stiffly nodded in agreement. "Thanks."

We retreated up the stairs and found the door with the same number as the key. Inside was a single king-sized bed, a cabinet, a bathtub and... facilities... It was all made with pony size and anatomy in mind. I closed the door behind us and sagged against the wall. "Oh man this is so freaky."

Joe started pulling himself free of his armor. "It could be worse, right? I mean... We're cute at least? We could have become something hideous and gross."

I snorted out a laugh. "I'm very adorable, and that bothers me. Look at me! I'm a girl!"

He looked over at me. "Can't tell much besides the voice. You're pretty well dressed, unlike the girl downstairs. You could see everything when she turned around."

I began to warm again. "Oh, yeah... I was trying not to look."

He shrugged off his chain armoring to the floor at last and shook out, exposed to the air. My eyes were drawn to the movement and saw that he was hung like a horse, or pony, as the case may be. He stretched out in place, then flopped onto the bed. "Comfy. So what's the plan? Are we stuck here? I don't want to be a pony forever."

"As Joe relaxed on the bed, he began to wonder if he was indeed stuck."

"That's what I said, Paul." Joe raised a brow, looking towards the ceiling.

"As the thought sank in, a little panic built in his chest. Would he be forever alone?"

"Not funny!" Joe began to squirm in place. "Oh man... are we really stuck?"

"At least there was one friendly face here. Cloud Kicker would keep him company, unlike the traitorous Brad."

I wandered over towards Joe who looked more and more upset. Following some strange new urging, I clambered up onto the bed and hooked a leg around Joe's neck. "We'll make it through this, together." Suddenly the impulse faded and I frowned. "Fuck! Paul! Not cool! We're supposed to be friends."

"Sorry. I was testing what I could do. Controlling people seems to be 'in'. I wonder what else I can announce."

I pulled away from Joe and slid to the floor. The armor was becoming heavy and hot. I wanted to take it off, but I could see Joe watching me and had no desire to show off for him. "Joe, turn around?"

Joe tilted his head. "If you want, but the people here are nudists anyway." He shuffled around away from me and I got to work pulling at straps and trying to tug off my clothes. That was a lot harder with a mouth to work with! After five minutes of struggle, I gave up. "Joe... Can you help?"

Joe peeked over his shoulder, then turned back around. "Jeeze, still working on that? Stand still." He lowered his horn at me and practically pulled me free of the armor as easily as a T-shirt and jeans. "There you go. And you look fine."

I flushed. "Dude..."

Joe blinked then shook his head. "I meant you look alright. I was worried the armor would snag on your wings or something."

Reminded of those wings, I began to flap and stretch them. They felt just a little less alien. They were powerful and huge, easily lifting me from the ground.

Joe snorted softly. "You're showing."

I went stiff and fell to the ground, ceasing the show. "God damn it. So where's Brad?"

"Excellent question. I'll go check on him."

Brad fluttered her new lashes at Vinyl. He had found her just coming out of a music store with a new speaker. "Need help carrying that?"

Vinyl regarded Brad curiously. "Huh? Yeah, sure, thanks!"

Brad's huge form easily shouldered the speaker and they began to walk side-by-side. "So, you busy tonight?"

Vinyl nodded. "Buck yeah. I got a sweet gig lined up. You going to be there? I figure you must be a fan."

Brad's eyes shamelessly wandered over Vinyl, enjoying the peeks at her nethers whenever her tail swayed away. "I'm a huge fan, but let's say I'm more interested in the after-party. What would it take to get you and me alone together."

"As Brad made his move, Vinyl considered her actions carefully. Did she know? She couldn't! But this huge pony might be a useful convert. She licked her fangs discretely while agreeing."

Vinyl ran her tongue over elongated fangs. "Oh, I'm sure we could work something out... Come with me, you righteous mare. I'll show you how to really party."

Brad stepped away, hearing Paul's dictation. "Oh, uh, I really shouldn't right away. I was just checking for the possibility."

Vinyl turned to face Brad directly. "I don't bite... usually." She smiled with closed lips. "Don't be scared. Vinyl knows how to treat a mare right."

Brad inched a little further away. Vinyl tipped her glasses down, looking into Brad's eyes with dark red irises. She flashed a fanged smile and spoke deeply. "Come to me."

Brad stepped forward towards Vinyl, ensnared in her command. "Good. Follow."

"Would Brad escape intact from the elder vampire, or would she become her newest toy? Would she mind either way? Probably not."

"Brad's getting herself into trouble."

I shrugged softly. "I'm not surprised. Is she arrested yet?"

"Nah. She's enjoying the company of Vinyl Scratch."

"Who?" Joe looked up towards the voice. "Hey, Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"You're still in charge, right, like the game?"

"I think so, except making you all human again."

"Are we safe? I mean, we're friends, right?" Joe smiled with uncertainty. "I always spring for pizza."

"We're cool, man. If you act well, I'll reward that."

I raised a brow. "That sounds kind of fishy man. This is kinda real. I don't... I mean really?"

"Near as I can tell, my job hasn't changed. If you're a jerk, I'll make sure you know it. If you do good things, I'll try to reward it. If things are boring, I'll spruce it up. Speaking of which, go to sleep or do something. It's getting boring in here."

Joe wobbled a hoof. "Aren't you freaking out at all? You said you don't have a body, right?"

"Nope, just a voice."

I shook my head with disbelief. "That has to be freaky. Why not just... make up something?"

"Make up something?"

"I mean..." I scuffed the ground with a hoof. "Make up a pony, play it? You do that in the story right?"

"Well, it's kind of weird. I can control ponies, but I'm not actually them. Watch. Suddenly, the door kicked open!" The door bashed inwards. "It was Daring Do! But she had the wrong room. She looked abashed."

"Oh, sorry." Daring Do quietly closed the door.

Joe flopped onto the bed. "This is too weird..."

I waved at the bed. "This will sound stupid, but could you make two beds?"

"It has to be plot related. There's not a lot of reason for a second bed to be involved in the story."

I rolled my eyes. "But Daring Do getting the wrong door is alright?"

"Yep."

I plodded over beside Joe and pointed. "You stick to your side." Then I hopped up and prepared for sleep, but a familiar and alien sensation kept distracting. Nature was calling. Learning to be female wouldn't be as easy as getting used to the voice.

I stepped off the toilet which doubled as a bidet. The sensation of being washed down there had brought the color back into furious force as I stiffly walked back to bed, trying to put it all behind me. But there he was. Joe had watched the whole thing, and the evidence of it was pulsing underneath him as he squirmed a little, looking at once guilty and turned on. Anger quickly replaced whatever else I was feeling. "Keep your eyes to yourself, damn!"

Joe's ears fell. "I wasn't trying to be a creep. There aren't a lot of other things to look at... God, sorry... Don't be angry."

"Well I am angry." I flopped onto the bed and curled up. "Turn off the light."

Joe's horn glowed as he snuffed the candles. "Good Night. We'll figure this out tomorrow, OK?"

"Ok..." Joe really did sound sorry. I made a quiet resolution to not hold the incident against him. We were stuck in this together. "Good night."

Author's Note

More words? Yes more words!

Brad got herself into trouble, but does she really mind it ended up this way? I'm not sure.

Joe and Ian stick together, even through the awkward bits. Paul seems to be getting a little... comfy with being the disembodied GM.

What will happen next? Typos, probably.

17 - Chat over Chinese

Joe pulled out his phone and dialed up some food. "Anyone else feel like they haven't eaten in a while?"

Paul nodded. "Now that you bring it up, it's like we didn't just eat this 'morning'. If our bodies still get hungry while we play, where's Brad's body?"

Bed Time was there, naked, and as confused as any of us. "I don't know, but I have some ideas?"

I waved at her. "Go on. Your theories can't be worse than any of ours."

She smiled a little, then frowned. "He's part of Equestria now. He was born there, and we don't have one of these." She lifted her character sheet to display.

I pointed at Bed Time. "Weren't you born there?"

She shook her head. "You made me... And then I joined your party. I belong with you as much as anywhere else."

Paul nodded lightly. "Huh... that actually makes some kind of sense. So, what, he's part of Equestria forever now?"

Joe shrugged. "As if he didn't want that anyway? So how do we get rid of the colors and get back to normal life?"

I looked towards Paul with an idea coming. "The campaign has to end. Once the campaign's over, I bet it'll break."

Paul lifted his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. "I could say it's over any time, would that be enough?"

Bed Time looked across at me. "Before you do that, have you considered? I'll stay with you either way, but... given the choice, won't you come with me? Ponyville's not a bad place, is it?" She smiled hopefully and I wasn't sure how to respond.

Was being a pegasus a bad thing? I liked fingers, and television, and calling Mom on Mother's Day would be quite a challenge to say the least. "I don't think I want to be in Equestria forever, Bed. I like you just fine, but I'm not looking to give up my place here, on Earth."

Bed gave a resigned nod. "I'll do my best to adjust then." She glanced towards Paul. "Can you change us while we're here? You are the master of fate, after all."

Paul frowned. "People don't have character sheets like ponies. How would that even work? As far as I know, I don't have--"

His words were cut off with a groan from under the table. A woman's head popped up from around the edge, quickly followed by a second nude female. She smiled brightly. "I did it! It finally worked!"

Joe jumped out of his chair. "Holy shit! Who the hell are you?!"

She looked at Joe, then me, and finally Paul. "There. Master of all things, Author of destiny! Your humble servant basks in your radiance." She threw herself at Paul's feet. "Oh how long I've waited for this day. You'll be able to answer so many questions, if you would be so kind as to answer the petitions of your lowly servant."

I had no idea what to make of her, except... "There's only one place I know of that turns up naked girls."

Bed rose a brow. "Are you a pony too?"

The mystery girl nodded and climbed back to her feet. "I'm being so rude! I am Blank Slate, humble servant of the divine." She pointed at the still shocked Paul. "This divine. Your presence within me was amazing! And you've brought me to the home of the gods. Is this my reward?"

Paul gave a stiff nod, looking towards the rest of us before back to Blank Slate. "Welcome, my... follower?"

Blank Flank grinned, "How can I best serve you? You're looking hot." She spoke odd words and cool air washed from her hands, wafting over Paul.

Bed Time clapped her hands, then paused at the odd sound of it before she continued. "You still have your magic! Amazing!"

Blank tilted her head. "Why wouldn't I? I was destined to serve my divine master wherever he required my services."

I looked over to Joe. "So, do you have your magic?"

Joe rubbed behind his head, looking quite confused. "I could try?" He set his hands on the table. "Oh great and powerful goddess of the sun, show us that your power reaches us."

Joe's character sheet began to glow with a soft white light, easily competing with a light bulb for intensity. "Well hot damn. Guess it works."

I hiked a thumb at Brad's vacant table. "I hate to bring this up, but what if Brad had a point? If we can edit our sheets, why shouldn't we? Especially if it carries back into the real world in some way or another?"

Paul frowned deeply and shivered. "That would be... a bad idea."

Blank Slate scowled at me. "You would dare to even suggest the breaking of fate before the very god of it? What gall! Should I smite him for you?"

"No, that'll be quite fine." Paul gave a nervous smile to Blank Slate. "These are my friends, no smiting them."

Bed Time tilted her head at Blank Slate. "Why were you so lifeless before?"

"I was not lifeless! I was keeping myself empty and available for the presence of my god. He had more need of my body than I did." She crossed her arms. "He had need to keep a close eye on these 'friends' of his, rebels against fate they may be."

The doorbell rang. Chinese food had arrived. Game night could continue, more complicated or not.

Author's Note

A new member joins the party! Will they venture back into Equestria? Will Paul declare the campaign finished? Will anyone rescue Brad? Does he want rescuing?

Will the author get tired of asking questions only he can answer?!

Only the typos know.