Rainbow Dash slowly awoke, awareness coming in spurts as she stirred under her soft sheets. She yawned as she sat up, an exhausting workload the past week making her want nothing more than fall back asleep. A quick glance at a calendar told her it was the weekend and that she could do just that.
Smiling now, Rainbow laid back and waited for the sweet embrace of sleep. It never came however and Rainbow was stuck staring at her ceiling, a niggling feeling telling her that she was forgetting something. With a sigh Rainbow decided that if she couldn’t remember it probably wasn’t that important and she could take care of it tomorrow……tomorrow.
With a cry Rainbow lurched out of bed and stumbled over to the calendar, nearly tripping on her sheets along the way. Eyes now wide and alert, Rainbow stared at tomorrow’s date, a word written and circled in red pen staring right back at her with an accusing gaze.
"Anniversary"
“Oh ponyfeathers.” Rainbow whispered as she remembered the essential event with a near heart attack. Rainbow isn’t one to lose her self-control but tomorrow is going be a significant milestone with her and her colt-friend and she had forgotten completely, not good.
Soarin is going to be so disappointed if she didn’t fix this ASAP. She needed to get a special present, fast. What though? Dash rested on her haunches, hoof stroking her chin as she settled into her thinking position.
'What on Equis could Soarin possibly wa- oh duh, pie.'
Smiling now, Rainbow went to grab a quick shower. If she hurried and got the early morning weather done fast she would catch Applejack before she headed into fields and then presto, pie.
Easy peasy and with no chance of something going wrong, or so she hoped.
***
“Applejack, hey Applejack!"
A tired voice called out through Sweet Apple Acres. Getting the attention of an orange mare that was busy loading a wagon with empty baskets. Applejack looked up into the sky and found a familiar cyan pony moving in an uncharacteristic slow speed towards her.
“Well would you fancy that, looks even the Dash has slow down sometimes.” Applejack chuckled to herself as she waved to the approaching pegasus.
“Hey AJ” Rainbow Dash rasped, panting as she landed next to the farmer. Sweat gleamed off her coat as she leaned on the wagon.
“Howdy Rainbow, looking a little under the weather there.” Concern filled Applejacks voice as she offered a water filled canteen that had been slung over the wagon. Rainbow grunted before taking it and drinking a few gulps.
Handing the canteen back Rainbow closed her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she relaxed. “Thanks AJ.”
“No problem sugercube, what’s got you running so ragged anyway?”
“It’s been a long week. Half the team got called to Manehatten to help with some feral weather they have been having. Also I, uh” Rainbow paused, staring down at her fidgeting hoofs.” I kinda need your help with something.”
“Ah.” Exasperation replaced the concern as Applejack turned back to loading the wagon. “Well what did you do this time?”
“Hey, what makes you think I did anything?“
“You didn’t?”
“Well, no.” Rainbow frowned at the snort Applejack let out as she lifted another stack of baskets into the wagon. “Look, I know you’re busy but I forgot Soarin’s and I’s anniversary, its tomorrow and I haven’t gotten him anything yet.”
“Ah, well that changes things.” Applejack turned back towards Rainbow Dash, a thoughtful expression on her face. “That’s quite a pickle you got yourself into Rainbow, not sure what I can do for you though.”
“Well it is Soarin we’re talking about here.”
Applejack was indeed a clever pony as she quickly caught her meaning. “A pie huh. I don’t know Rainbow, seems a little plain for an anniversary gift.”
Rainbow shrugged, her expression resigned. “Maybe, but I’m kinda low on options. Besides Soarin likes plain and you should hear him go on about your pies.” Rainbow rolled her eyes as she groaned. “He literally talked for hours about how he could tell the pie was completely homemade. He’s a straight up food nut.”
Applejack chuckled as she quickly loaded the last stack into the wagon. She gestured for Rainbow to follow and moved toward the house. “Well that’s mighty flattering to hear. Lucky for you I baked up a bunch just yesterday.”
“Sweet! Thanks AJ.”
***
Halfway to the house Applejack nudged Rainbow with her hip, causing her to stumble a bit. “Just don’t be expecting me to dig you out of the hole you made for yourself next time.” The farm mare said with a teasing smile.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…..wait, what do mean by next time!?”
Applejack ran, leaving Rainbow chasing the laughing farmer to the house.
***
The Apple family kitchen was much like the rest of the house; worn down, needing a coat of paint, and sturdy. No one in their right mind would call it beautiful but the sheer heartiness of the food that came out of it couldn’t be denied.
Applejack smiled as she watched Rainbow take a deep breath as she entered the kitchen, a pout slipping off the pegasus as she unconsciously licked her lips.
“Smells good in here AJ.”
“Darn tootin it does Rainbow.” Family pride blossomed in AJ as she trotted over to the fridge. She opened it and looked through the pies within before picking one and placing it on a counter. “There you are Rainbow, pick of the litter for ya. Made from the fruits of my labor it is.”
Rainbow Dash stared blankly for a moment before smirking at Applejack, who was desperately to keep a straight face. “Hardy har har AJ, you should leave the corny jokes to Mr. Cob.”
They stared at each for a moment before dissolving into giggles. Calming down Rainbow said, “How much do I owe you?”
“Huh? Oh, the pie. Just take it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, now I have to get back to work. Big Mac and Caramel are probably wondering what’s taking me so long. See you later Rainbow, hope things go well for you tomorrow.” Applejack nodded to Rainbow and headed out the door.
“Thanks AJ, you’re the best!” Rainbow grabbed the pie and flew out an open window. Relief made her wings light and that combined with a strong wind behind her made for a quick flight to her house.
Alighting in front of her door Rainbow awkwardly tried to unlock the door without dropping the pie. Having succeeded, Rainbow flitted through the house to the kitchen, placing the pie on a slightly dusty counter.
Rainbow Dash leaned in to take sniff but stopped and frowned down at an energy bar wrapper her hoof had nudged. She took in the fast container strewn mess that was her kitchen, and other parts of the house as she peered through the door to the living room, and sighed.
“Better get this cleaned up before Soarin thinks I’m a slob…..well, more than he already does anyway.”
One hour later and Rainbow was enjoying a well earned snack when somepony knocked the front door. With a groan she shoved the last of her candy bar into her mouthed lurched off her seat to the door.
Grumbling, she opened it and saw the local sleepy eyed mailmare Derpy, who quickly produced a letter from her saddlebag and held it proudly towards Rainbow.
“Hi Rainbow, I have mail for you” Derpy said, giving the letter to her,
“Thanks Derpy” Rainbow said.
“Something smells good in there.” Derpy commented with a wide smile.
“It’s a pie from Applejack. Me and Soarin are having our first anniversary tomorrow.”
“Wow, a whole year already?” Derpy smile got even brighter. “Congratulations Rainbow Dash.”
“Thanks Derpy, and hey, speaking of which.” Rainbow said as she saw the letter was from Soarin.
Rainbow ripped open the envelope and had started to read when she noticed Derpy looking at her with a hopeful smile. With a roll of her eyes Rainbow read it aloud.
“Dear Dashie.
I can hardly believe we been together for an amazing year. It seems like yesterday when we really talked for the first time at the Canterlot wedding. As celebration I’m taking out us both to dinner tomorrow to a surprise location. Yes you’ll have to dress up but I promise it’ll be the night of your life. I’ll pick you up at your house at 6:00.
See you then.
Love Soarin”
“Awwwww” Derpy gushed, “That’s sweet of him.”
“Yeah” Rainbow said, unable to stop an undeniably sappy smile from spreading across her face.
“Anyway I have to get going now Rainbow. Good luck with tomorrow.” With that the gray mare took off.
“Thanks Derpy, see you later!” Rainbow shouted after her. Rainbow went back into the house and gave the letter another read as absentmindedly closed the door behind her.
“Need to dress up huh, hopefully I got something stuffed somewhere.” She muttered as she walked up to her bedroom.
***
“I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR.”
Dash screamed a sentence that she had never uttered her entire life before. If someone were to hear her say that she would lose awesome points for sure. Clothes covered her bedroom as she threw the rejections over her shoulder. None of them were suitable for tonight. Rainbow flopped down on her bed with a groan. She really didn’t want to do what she thinking but she didn’t have much of a choice.
“I know can who can get me a dress.” The tomboy said to herself.
***
The Pegasus headed for "Carousel Boutique" her friend owned. Rainbow knocked on the door. In seconds, the glamorous white unicorn with trademark purple curly mane
answered the door.
“Rainbow Dash, what a pleasant surprise. Do you need something?” Rarity asked.
Rainbow Dash steeled herself as she said the words of doom. “Hey Rarity. I was hoping you could hook me up with a”, Rainbow glanced around before whispering, “a dress.”
“I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that Rainbow. You want a…?”
The words clawed themselves out through Rainbow’s throat. “I. Need. A. Dress.”
Rarity blinked owlishly a few times as she stared at Rainbow. Rainbow worried she broke her friend for a moment before Rarity shook her head, tittering. “Oh that was a good one Rainbow, very well done. For a instant I thought you..were…serious?”
Rainbow, who had been nodding her head to show she was indeed serious, was wondering if she would regret doing so. When Rarity lifted her up in her magic Rainbow found her answer. She was not going to enjoy this at all, though judging by the fact that Rarity was literally skipping into the boutique it would seem the white unicorn was of a different mind.
Rainbow walked out of the boutique, every step small and shaky as if the ground was as fragile as her pride and dignity. Rarity had not been all too pleased at the looming deadline and had set about the task with a grim determination.
Rainbow shuddered as she took off. She had been measured in places she hadn’t even known she had and had to stay still the entire time. To give in to her desire for flight was blissful.
Tension eased from Rainbow as she flew. The wind rustled through her wings and Rainbow let out a woop as she twirled through the air. The past week had left little time and energy for her usual practices and now that she had everything ready for tomorrow it seemed as good a time as any.
Heading off to a nearby field Rainbow thought about how great tomorrow was going to be. She’d go to sleep early, deal with the early morning weather, grab the dress and kick back and relax till Soarin showed up.
Rainbow allowed herself a small giggle; it was going to be perfect.
Rainbow hummed to herself as she pushed the last cloud into position. She hadn’t gotten the early start she had wanted; exhaustion from the past week had caught up to her as she was finishing her work out. Thankfully the morning weather hadn’t called for anything elaborate.
Rubbing the sweat out of her eyes, Rainbow took a sniff of her foreleg as she headed to Rarity’s. Getting up late had meant she rushed to her fridge for a quick meal of whatever she could grab.
Unfortunately she wasn’t sure the thing she had grabbed could even be classified as food anymore. The stench and Rainbow had flinched, covering her hoof and the floor in gunk.
A quick soaping had rid her hoof of the smell but even after tearing out the soiled clouds the kitchen had stunk to high heaven. She had opened the windows and hoped that would air her home. Spying her friend’s home Rainbow dived down to the ground.
Landing smartly, Rainbow took a moment to make sure the smell was gone before entering the boutique. The small bell rang once more and Rarity poked her head out of her workroom soon after.
“Ah, Rainbow dear. I wasn’t expecting you so early.” Rarity’s smile was frazzled. A loose hair hanged over her face and glasses.
“Hey Rarity, do you want to come back later then?” Rainbow asked, half turning back toward the door.
Rarity shook her head and waved a hoof toward the waiting room. “No, no. They just needs a few more adjustments, it shan’t take but a few moments. Please make yourself at home.
Raising an eyebrow Rainbow said, “they?” Rarity didn’t notice however and went back into her workroom. Rainbow shrugged and went into the living room. She sat down on a couch and prepared to wait. A few minutes later found her toying with the small figurines on the coffee table.
“Rainbow, you can come see them now!”
Rainbow looked up from where princess Danger Awesome was about to fling the dark wizard into the volcano. She got up and headed toward the other room. Upon entering she saw Rarity standing next to a rack of dresses and curtained off podium.
Rarity’s smile was as bright as it was tired and she stared expectantly as Rainbow looked through the rack.
Rainbow counted as she glanced over the dresses. 2, 4, 7…….Rainbow shook her head she turned her head toward Rarity. “Did..did you really make all the these for me in one night?” Rainbow’s voice was small, guilt washing through her stomach as she considered the amount of work she made her go through.
Rarity gave a small laugh as she quickly assuaged Rainbow. “Of course not darling, I’m good but not that good. These are just some things I had laying around that fit you, with a few adjustments here and there.”
Rarity paused to clear her throat before raising a hoof dramatically to the curtain’s rope. “Now the dress I made last night is right…here.” With a flourish Rarity pulled on the rope and revealed her creation.
Rainbow’s eyes grew wide as she gazed at the dress. She reached out a hoof and felt the soft fabric. A blush blossomed on her cheeks as she said, “I’ll take it.”
Rainbow carefully laid the dress down on her bed. She admired it shape for a few moments before a yawn overcame her. Feeling she deserved a treat Rainbow headed to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Entering the kitchen she greeted the various objects in the room. “Hello cup, hello coffee machine, hello pie, hello bird, hel-bird?”
Rainbow stared wide eyed at what indeed was a bird, a pigeon in fact. A pigeon that was standing on her pie and was giving her a stare back. A tense silence filled the kitchen. The two combatants meeting head on in the field of will. Who knew how long they stared at each, fire in their eyes. A fire that would consume them. That would consume the world before they-
The coffee machine made a small beep.
Rainbow charged at the pigeon, furiously yelling for it to get the heck out of her house. It flew up to the ceiling and flew around in a few circles. Rainbow chased the feathery pest around the kitchen before spying an open window.
She quickly herded it toward the opening, moving between it and any other path besides the window. It took a while but when the pigeon finally flew out the window Rainbow slammed it shut. She gasped for a few moments before muttering, “must have forgot to close the damn thing yesterday.”
Rainbow rested her head against the pane, not wanting to look at the pie. She had to though and so she walked over to what was left of the pastry. Not a lot had been eaten but what was left wasn’t appetizing in the slightest.
She stared glumly at where the pigeon had left a little gift as Fluttershy said. Frown on her face Rainbow grabbed the pie and tossed it into the trash.
“Applejack isn’t going to let me hear the end of this…..and I’m gonna have to pay this time.”
Rainbow raced above fields of apple trees as she hurried to the Apple family home. She hoped she wasn’t too late to catch them before they went to deep into the acres that stretched on beneath her.
The iconic red barn appeared in the distance and quickly grew closer as Rainbow sped toward it. Rainbow was soon able to make out the details and spotted the small form of Applebloom. She landed behind the filly, who gave a start and twirled around at the sound.
“Oh, hello Rainbow Dash.”
“Heya Applebloom. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Ya didn’t scare me.” Applebloom rubbed her foreleg as Rainbow gave her an amused look. “I was just startled is all.”
“Sure, whatever you say squirt.” Rainbow let her smirk fall as she looked around. “Do you where your sister is?”
“She’s trying to work out her emotional issues in a fruitless manner.” Applebloom nodded sagely.
“And uh, what does that mean exactly?”
Applebloom shrugged. “It’s just what granny says whenever Applejack goes into the fields when Caramel visits. Just looks like bucking trees to me and I don’t know what she
means by fruitless neither since she always brings back tons of apples. Why did you want to see her anyway?”
Rainbow fidgeted. “Well you see I uh, well it’s my anniversary today and-“
“Oh yeah, Applejack told us about that. Happy anniversary!”
“Thanks Applebloom, anyway like I was saying I need a pie and I kinda need it quick.”
“Didn’t you already get a pie though?”
“Yeah but It got ruined and I need another one.” Rainbow saw that Applebloom was about to ask another question and raised a hoof with a bit in it. “How about this, I buy a pie while you don’t ask any more questions and don’t mention this to Applejack.”
Applebloom slammed her mouth shut and nodded. Rainbow tossed her the bit and they walked toward the house. Applebloom led the way in and said to Rainbow as they were about to enter the kitchen.
“There were about 6 pies left after market yesterday and ya can take any of th- oh pig slop.”
“You ‘urp’ watch your language young filly!”
Rainbow poked her head around the corner as Applebloom uttered a sorry Big Mac. The kitchen wasn’t any different from her last visit except for a groaning Caramel and Big
Macintosh, who was giving Applebloom an admonishing stare. A bunch of pie pans sat on the table between them.
Empty pie pans.
Rainbow hurried to the fridge and threw it open. Shelves bare of any sort of pastry shone bright under the small light bulb and she closed it with a sad thump. She let her head hang as her plans for today came crashing down. Feeling a small hoof nudge her she looked to see Applebloom giving an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry Rainbow Dash. My big brother and Caramel got into another eating contest. They did save some pieces for me and Applejack.” The small filly pointed to two plates on the counter. “I’m not sure not that’s what you wanted though.”
“It’s okay Applebloom.” Rainbow patted her on the head. “I’ll just get Soarin a card or something and make it up to him later. Unless you can….” She trailed off as Applebloom shook her head.
Rainbow sighed, glumly picturing how the day would go. Soarin would come to take her on a night of her life and though he wouldn’t say anything Rainbow knew he would be hurt that she had forgotten all about today.
“Why don’t you make it?”
“Huh?”
“Why don’t you make the pie?” Applebloom’s sweet voice cut through Rainbow gloom. “I mean, it’s not that hard and it’ll be more special this way right?”
Rainbow’s face slowly lit up as she considered the idea. “You know what Applebloom, that’s not a bad idea at all.”
“Really?!” Applebloom jumped up and raced over to a drawer. She opened it and rifled through a bunch of cards before selecting one. She brought it over to Dash and handed it to her with a large smile. A grown up had said her idea was good!
Chuckling at the filly’s enthusiasm Rainbow looked through the recipe on the card.
The Apple’s Family Pie
Ingredients:
Pastry for 2 crusts 8 cups sliced, peeled assorted baking apples - about 3 lbs. (Granny Smith, Cortland, Jonathan)
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
3/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 Tablespoons butter
1 egg yolk
1 Tablespoon milk
Directions:
In a large bowl, toss the sliced apples with lemon juice.
Combine sugars, flour, cinnamon and nutmeg; add to apples and toss well to coat.
Fill pastry lined 9 inch pie pan with apple mixture and the dot with butter.
Place second crust on top of pie filling, cut slits in top of crust to vent. Seal the edges of the crust with a fork or by hoof.
In a small bowl, beat the egg yolk and milk. Brush mixture over top crust.
Bake at 425 degrees F for 15 minutes.
Reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake 40-45 minutes more or until crust is golden and filling is bubbly.”
Dash stared dumbfounded at the piece of paper in her hoofs before shrugging and deciding to just wing it. Baking can't be that hard right?
***
Carrot Cake looked up from where he decorating a cake, an angry and confused expression on his face.
"Hey honey?" He called, dropping the bag of icing he was holding onto a tray. "On second thought you take care of this while I deal with the dough. I need to hit something."
***
After giving Applebloom a quick hug, and paying for a small bag of apples, Rainbow flew as fast as she could back towards her home. She snacked on a few of the apple and arrived in decent time.
She darted through the door and sped into her kitchen. Rainbow then put the apples on the counter and hanged the recipe on a small hook. She read it again and memorized what she needed to grab.
Rainbow Dash dug through her cupboards looking for the ingredients but she quickly hit a few roadblocks. She only had whole-wheat flour and no nutmeg. Rainbow let out an irritated groan; this is going to make more work for her. After a moment of thought Rainbow shrugged, there wasn’t a lot of nutmeg so it probably didn’t matter and flour was
flour right?
Problems solved, Rainbow grabbed the ingredients and set them on the counter. Dash may not have had a lot of experience with cooking but she is willing to try for Soarin. She got out a cutting-board and the apples, Cortland if Dash remembered right.
Dash set about the process of peeling, coring and cutting the apples into bite size pieces. She put them in the measuring cup and found to her dismay that she was missing a cup.
“Horse crap, I‘m out of apples, now what do I do?” Rainbow thought. “Shouldn’t have eaten so many…
Dash looked around her kitchen but the only other fruit she had some pears in a fruit bowl.
“Close enough, pretty sure he said he liked pears anyway.”
Rainbow grabbed a few pears and went back to chopping. One cup of chopped pears later and she tossed the sliced apples and pears into a large bowl along with some lime juice, which was the closest thing that she had to lemons.
“Meh, lemons are overrated.”
Finding that she had forgotten the sugar Rainbow went to get some from the pantry, only to find a small amount of brown sugar. It was a problem she only cared about for a split second before dumping the entire bag in the mix, not even bothering to measure first.
“The more, the better, who doesn’t love sugar?”
Since Rainbow didn’t have any nutmeg, she decided to double the cinnamon. She took the cinnamon sticks, placing them in a plastic bag and smashing them with a glass until they were a dusty power. Rainbow then poured the cinnamon into the bowl along with flour before giving it all a good mix.
Filling done, Rainbow realized she hadn't read anything about the crust. A quick search turned up nothing.
'Applebloom must have not realized the crust recipe wasn’t on it when she gave it to me.' Dash thought as she looked at the back of the card again. 'I don't have anything like that here.' Then Dash remembered a convenient fact. “Pinkie is working today. They have those pre-made crusts you can buy.”
***
Dash flew out a window again, making sure to shut it behind her, and headed to Sugarcube Corner. Once at the bakery, Dash entered the building and was immediately greeted by the sight of Pinkie speeding towards her.
“Hey Rainbow Dash! Today has been so sloooow and I was hoping sompony would pop in.” Dash couldn’t get a word in as Pinkie kept talking. “Rarity didn’t even come by for her usual cinnamon roll and nopony else really wants to talk for too long.”
“Pinkie.” Dash said to try and get her hyper friend’s attention but Pinkie Pie kept rambling.
“And I was really hoping Derpy would turn up today as well because I wanted to get her try some cupcakes since they’re like muffins except that they’re cakes as well and she always just eating muffins and nothing else.” The mare went on.
“Pinkie.” Dash repeated but had more volume to it.
“Mrs. Cake always said that too much of a good thing is bad, which really doesn’t make much sense but whenever I try to tell her that she just looks at me like she’s not sure what coloured icing to use for a cake so I just go along with it. Anyway it doesn’t matter since she never showed. Hey we should totally bake cupcakes sometimes.” Pinkie continued her happy rant, oblivious to her friend’s increasing frustration.
“PINKIE.” Dash shouted, louder then she intended.
“Yes?” The perpetually pink pony said, not the slightest bit phased that Dash had yelled in her face, a common occurrence at times.
“I uh, can I buy a piecrust please. I'm in a hurry.” Dash said, a little guilty about shouting but it had snapped Pinkie out her rambles.
“Of course silly, why you didn’t just say so?” Pinkie said. She bounced too and over the counter. She leaned down for a moment before popping back up with a sad look and a dented tube. “I’m sorry Rainbow but this is all we have and I can’t sell it.”
“What, why not?!”
“Because it’s cur- hello Mr. Constable!”
Rainbow turned to look at the pony who had entered with another pony trailing behind him. Constable Goody fourshoes was in his usual blue uniform. The pony behind him was wearing the armor of a royal guard messenger and Rainbow tensed as she saw him.
“Hello Pinkie, and to you as well Miss Dash.” Goody nodded to both of them before gesturing to the stallion beside him. “I’m just showing an old acquaintance around town before taking him to his sister’s and I was hoping you had some of those cherry cobblers?”
“Sure thing!” Pinkie gave apologetic look to Rainbow before preparing the order. Rainbow on the was relieved that the messenger wasn’t there for her, a national emergency wasn’t what she needed right now. As soon as Pinkie was done with them she would get an explanation.
“Hyah!”
A loud bang followed the shout. Goody exclaimed, “What in Celestia’s good name was that?”
“Oh that’s just Mr. Cake trying to work out some anger.” Pinkie became solemn as she shook her head. “That poor, innocent sweet dough will never be the same.”
“What!” The messenger charged toward the kitchen door and dove in with a cry, “unhand my sister you fiend!”
Pinkie and Goody chased after him with the latter shouting, “wait a minute sergeant Baked Buns!”
Rainbow stared blankly after them for a moment before grabbing the forgotten tube and tossing a few bits on the counter. After leaving the building she took flight and hurried home.
A few minutes later Pinkie walked out of the kitchen and saw that Rainbow was gone. She shrugged and took no mind of it till she noticed the bits and lack of the tube. For a moment she worried before waving it off.
“It’s not as if some little old curse can make Rainbow’s cooking even worse anyway.”
***
Once Dash returned home from the encounter at Sugarcube Corner, she got out the pie tin she thought she would never use. Blowing some dust off it, Rainbow then opened the package and took the dough out. She regarded it warily for a moment, she could have sworn it had glowed for a second, but shook her head and looked at the package for instructions.
Rainbow eyed the cover, arching an eyebrow at the picture of a chef meticulously spreading the dough.
“Nah.” Rainbow crammed most of it into the tin. Massing up the edges then poured the filling in the piecrust. Butter followed in chunks as Rainbow double checked the recipe, or at least she thought it was butter. It smelled a little weird but the container said it was butter so in it went. Smooshing the last of the dough into a circular shape Dash tried to pick it up and lay it on the pie only to have it tear again and again.
Growing frustrated, Dash dropped the pieces on top the pie and gave a half hearted attempt at patching them up and shoved it into the oven at 320 degrees. Taking a deep breath, she let it out with a relieved sigh. She was finally saved now; all she needed to do now was get the pie out in fifteen minutes.
Rainbow stretched and rubbed her eyes, eager for a break. The utter mess that was the kitchen however, told her that wasn’t happening. She drooped for a second before resolutely grabbing a rag and set about cleaning. So absorbed was she that she failed to notice the clock quietly tick away the few seconds left to six o’clock.
***
-Outside the house-
Soarin landed outside Rainbow’s home. A hoof reached up and found that his mane and tie were still in order. A glance also told him the flowers he brought were in good condition as well. Relieved to see everything was ready, Soarin knocked on the door.
After a few moments, and knocking on the door again, Soarin heard a clang from inside the house. A shout quickly followed and Soarin nervously fidgeted as he waited.
Stomps soon approached the other side of the door and Soarin held the bouquet of flowers in front of him. His mouth was open, ready to give the proclamation of love he had prepared when the door slammed open.
“Happy-“
“What the heck do you want!”
“…anniversary?”
Soarin stared speechless at his marefriend, who had become completely mortified as she realized who she shouted at. Wordlessly he offered the flowers to her and she accepted them with a flour covered hoof.
“I…oh damn it to tartaros. I’m sorry Soarin, I been having a bad day and….I didn’t mean to shout at you.”
Soarin gave her an easy grin and moved to nuzzle her. “It’s fine Rainbow. I’m just glad my little Dashie isn’t actually angry with her goofy stallion.”
Rainbow blushed. “Goofy is right.” She muttered, taking a sniff of the flowers to hide her red cheeks. She coughed and moved out of the way to let Soarin in. Soarin looked about, noting the lack of rubbish and an interesting scent coming from the kitchen. “It looks nice in here Rainbow, smells good to.” His grin turned teasing as he looked back at Rainbow’s floury and sticky face. “Though I’m not too sure about your choice of makeup.
Rainbow stuck out her tongue at him as she headed back into the kitchen. “You watch it buster or you’re might not get your present”
Soarin poked his head into the kitchen and watched as Rainbow finished wiping the counters. “A present? You didn’t have to Rainbow, I heard how short staffed your department was this week.”
Rainbow dropped the rag and walked over to Soarin. She gave him a quick kiss before saying with a wry smirk, “Well I hardly be Equistria’s most awesome marefriend if I didn’t now would I?”
Soarin gave her a kiss back. “No, I guess not. What’s cooking anyway?”
“Oh nothing special really. Just, you know, a pie.”
“Really, you made a pie all by yourself?”
Rainbow’s smile couldn’t be more proud as she nodded. Soarin laughed and gave her another nuzzle. “That’s great Dashie, I’m sure it’ll be amazing.”
Rainbow Dash glared at the oven “It better be, I spent all day making the darn thing.” She frowned as she noticed Soarin giving her a sly grin. “What?”
“Oh nothing, I just find it so sweet my little Dashie spent so much time making a pie for me.” Soarin crooned as he patted her on the head. “Don’t worry Dashie, I’m sure the pie will be as sweet as you are.”
Rainbow pouted as Soarin dodged the swat she aimed at him. She held her head high and trotted out of the kitchen. “We’ll see who’s laughing when you get a taste of the best pie you’ve ever had.”
In the living room Rainbow called down to Soarin as she headed up the stairs. “It’s gonna be ready in a few minutes. I’m just going to take a shower and then we’ll head out okay?”
“Sure thing Rainbow.” Soarin called back from the kitchen. He glanced toward the stove and saw that there was a timer with about two minutes left. He reached to scratch his muzzle and noticed a smear of flour on his fur.
He walked over to the rag Rainbow had been using. He gave himself a quick rub down, using a shiny kettle as a makeshift mirror. Finished, he turned around and gasped, the cloth falling out of his grasp with a wet splat.
Ominous red light was pouring out of the oven.
Swallowing a lump in his throat, Soarin approached the machine while calling out to Rainbow. “Hey Dashie?”
“Yeah Soarin?” Rainbow’s voice was faint and distracted as she called from the shower.
“Has there been any problems with your oven lately?” Soarin was in front of the oven now, trying to see through the murky light behind the little window in the door.
“No, why?”
“Oh nothing, just the light in it is acting a little weird.” Soarin hoped what he said was true as he grabbed the handle. He took a deep breath and wrenched the door open.
A regular looking pie greeted him, the source of the already gone light unapparent. Soarin stared for a few moments, feeling the heat roll off his face. He shook his head and closed the oven when a loud noise sent him jumping into the air.
Holding a hoof to his heart, Soarin panted as he whipped his head around looking for the source of the beeping. Eventually he found that it was simply the timer going off and nothing more. Soarin sighed as turned it off, his nerves must be high-strung from worrying about how the night would go.
The blue stallion quickly put on the oven mitts and took out the pie. He then placed it onto the stove and turned the oven off. Leaning over the pie, Soarin took a deep sniff and gave out a pleased hum. A frown creased his forehead when a burnt after-smell hit his nostrils.
“How’s the pie look Soarin, is it alright?” Genuine worry filled Rainbow’s voice.
“It…it looks great Rainbow.” Soarin called back as he inspected the pie for any burnt patches. “I’m impressed, really.”
“Aw yeah. Move over Applejack, there’s a new princess of pie in town.”
Soarin couldn’t see any blackened bits however, and the time and heat the pie was in for shouldn’t have damaged it anyway. He decided he must have been imaging it and went to grab a cooling rack. Just as he got one out he heard a gurgling sound from behind him.
Soarin whirled around, only to see nothing. A sound from the shower above made him decide it just the pipes moving. He trotted back over to the pie and put the mitts back on? Soarin paused, the pie seemingly in a different place than he remembered. Deciding he needed to sit down before he went crazy, Soarin placed the pie onto the rack.
Soarin caught another whiff of the pie and decided he needed a piece of pie to go with the sit down. He walked over to the other side of the kitchen to grab a knife and plate. Another gurgling sound came from behind him as he grabbed the knife.
Soarin gulped as he turned around slowly. The pie was now almost off the rack. Feeling his breath shorten, Soarin muttered reassurances to himself. “It was just the pipes, it was just the pies and I put the pie weird, that’s all.”
Having gathered his courage Soarin tiptoed to the pie. It refrained from doing anything a pie wasn’t known to do, which was a lot really, as Soarin poked the pan with the knife. Soarin pushed it fully back on the rack and scrutinized it.
“It’s just a regular good old pie Soarin, no need to get so antsy.” Soarin whispered to himself. Still, he couldn’t help the slight tremor in the knife as he raised it. Abruptly he pushed the knife down into the pie and it…it….
It did nothing, nothing at all.
“…..phew” Soarin wiped the sweat from his brow and silently laughed at himself. The sound from the shower stopped and Soarin heard Rainbow push back the curtain. “I’ll be down in a snap Soarin.”
After a few moments of imaging Rainbow drying herself off with a goofy smile Soarin shook himself from his daydreaming. Soarin grabbed the knife, sadly deciding that pie would only ruin his appetite. Head already turned to the sink he tugged on the knife.
It didn’t come out.
Soarin tugged on it a few more times before taking a deep breath. Fear and confusion warred within him as he slowly turned his head toward the pie. Nothing seemed too different and he gave the knife another pull before noticing a line of sticky red going up the blade.
Soarin let out a shout and took his hoof away from the blade as of more lines sprouted from the cut. They reached out like feelers, some slithering toward the knife’s handle while others went to the edge of the pan. So distracted by what was happening before him Soarin almost didn’t hear Rainbow call.
“You alright down there Soarin? Thought I heard you scream.”
“N-no Rainbow, everything is fine. Just burned myself a bit on the pie pan.” He shouted called back. He certainly didn’t want Rainbow to know her cooking was so bad it came alive!
“That’s what you get for being impatient greedy-guts, anyway I spilled some juice on my wing. It’ going to take a while to get it out.”
“No worries Dashie, I booked a place nearby for seven in case we got delayed.” Soarin fought to keep his voice level. ” You take as long as you need.”
“A wise but ultimately fruitless decision to try and keep the female away mortal.”
Soarin jerked his gaze back to pie and felt his heart skip a beat. The tendrils had dragged the knife through the pie and made a large gash in the crust. A tear shaped cloud of crimson fog had emerged from the hole and now stared at Soarin with thin slashes of light. There was no mouth but the fog where it would have been trembled as the demon spoke.
“All shall know a sticky end when I, Ube’Qoth, mightiest of the harbingers, open the way to the void and unleash the apocal- oh blast.”
Soarin stared dumbfounded as the demon dropped the knife which it had been waving around during its spiel. The cloud leaned over as much as it could, a tendril from the bottom of it keeping attached to the pie, while another tendril fumbled across the ground for the knife.
“Mightiest of the harbingers huh?” Soarin said with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh shut it you bag of flesh, and I am actually. Admittedly by virtue of being the last one left but it still counts.” The tendril found the knife but it slipped out the slimy grip while raising it back up to the pie. “Darn butter tendrils.”
“Do…do you need any help there or…” Soarin trailed off awkwardly as the self proscribed bringer of the apocalypse grunted as it tried picking up the knife again.
“No, no I’m fine. Perfectly capable of picking up a knife, thank you very much.” The demon cursed as the knife hit the ground again. Fumbling for a few more seconds the
demon sighed. “Oh by the Mother’s countless tentacles this is embarrassing. Finally get out of that tube and this is what I do.”
“You sure you don’t want me to?” Soarin stepped forward but backed away after the demon glared at him.
“As I said I’m perfectly fine. Now just stand there please while I just….” Another tendril joined the first one and the knife slowly but surely rose up. “Aha! There we go.” The demon gave the knife a victorious wave as it stared expectantly at Soarin.
After a few moments the wonderbolt hesitantly started clapping.
“Thank you, thank you.” The demon said demurely. After Soarin stopped the demon gathered itself up. “Right, now that’s past us, where was I?”
“Unleashing the apocalypse I think.” Soarin supplied.
“Yes, that sounds right. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, about that-“
“Foolish mortal! You have doomed the world with your inaction and now the world sha- huh?” The demon floundered, staring at Soarin who had raised a hoof above his head.
“Umm, yes?”
“Well you see Ubi, may I call you Ubi?”
“I suppose, that slab of flesh you call a tongue wouldn’t be able to properly form the sounds of my full name anyway.”
“Well Ubi, I was wondering if you could put off the apocalypse for a bit. Rainbow Dash and I have plans you see.”
Ube narrowed its eyes. “You want me want to delay the occasion I’ve been waiting for over forty of your mortal years for, the very reason for my existence in fact, so that you and your girlfriend can go on a date?” The demon’s voice turned incredulous. “Seriously?”
“It’s our anniversary actually, and well yes, I am being serious. So could you please have the end of the world tomorrow?” Soarin flashed his best smile at Ube as he finished. The cloud of doom mulled his words for a moment.
“Well first off, congratulations on your anniversary.”
“Thank you, it’s our first.”
“And no.”
“Oh come on!” exclaimed Soarin, his wings flared from agitation. “Help a brother out here man.”
“What does it matter if it happens tomorrow instead anyway?” Ubi tilted its body quizzically. “Isn’t it going to be a damper on your date if you know the world will be a place of death and destruction the next day?”
“No, but what will be a damper is Rainbow having to miss our plans to gather her friends so that they can send you right back to the void. I would much rather they did that
tomorrow instead of tonight” Soarin said flatly. The two of them stared at each other in a pregnant silence.
Soarin hoped for a moment that he had got through to it till the literally damned thing laughed.
“Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.” The demon sputtered on for a bit and Soarin glanced toward the ceiling. Rainbow had always complained that she needed to get new towels as it always took her forever for her to dry. Soarin was now immensely grateful for this.
“haha…ha..haaaaa…” Ubi wheezed. “Aw man, I haven’t had a laugh like that in, well, forever. I mean damn, that was….the funniest….thing?”
Ubi took in Soarin’s completely serious and frank look and felt uncertainty build within itself. “You’re not joking, are you?”
“Ever hear of the elements of harmony?”
“….ah shit.”
“Yeah shit, now are you going to me and yourself a favor and skedaddle?”
“Look, I would if I could but I-“ The demons eyes grew wide as it metaphorically shut its trap. It was too late to take back what it said however and Soarin leaned in with narrow eyes.
“What do you mean you would if you could, all you have to do is to not do it right?”
Ubi shrunk down and kept its eyes pointed at the counter as it toyed with the knife. “Not exactly….” It glanced up and saw the waiting expression on Soarin’s face and sighed.
“I’m more of the…..lookout for the apocalypse actually.” Tendrils pulled back a large part of the pie topping and Soarin saw a slowly widening tiny whirlpool-like hole leading into nothingness. “I’m just supposed to guard the vortex long enough for the magic in pie to do its stuff.”
Soarin blinked before looking back up at Ubi. “Then what was with the speech and knife?”
The demon let the knife slip out its grip with a clatter as it slumped. “I just thought it would be cool. There wasn’t much else to do besides planning what I would say while I was stuck in there. I was going to cut some weird symbols into the pie and chant but….well you saw.”
“That’s….well honestly your life sounds kinda crappy.” Soarin scratched his head, not sure what to say after that. “Still, sounds like my anniversary is ruined no matter what.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’d help if I could, really, but I can’t. I couldn’t even leave this pie if I wanted to.” The demon grunted as he drifted upwards, showing where a mass of tendrils had attached themselves to the point on his lower body.
“These things are keeping me here and are draining most of my power. Anyway you two should be getting out of here soon.” Ubi pointed to the vortex, which was twice as big as a bit now. “Once the vortex consumes the pie the Void shall be unleashed. I’ll probably get eaten when the first Forgotten One passes through any-woah!”
Ubi stared down in shock at the severed tendrils hanging from his body.
Soarin frowned as he put down the knife and stared at the still present vortex. “Darn, I thought that would work. How are you feeling Ubi?”
“…..surprisingly okay actually.” Ubi was busy flicking off cut tendrils. “That wasn’t very nice by the way.”
“Oh don’t be such a baby dude, stallion up. You said you were gonna get eaten anyway. Now how come that didn’t switch off the vortex?”
“What in the name of Madness gave you that idea, and why do you refer to me as male? ”
“You said the pie was draining your powers and well, aren’t you?”
“No I am not; I do not possess a gender.”
“You missed a tentacle then.”
Ubi looked down and cursed. While he tried to shake the tendril he missed off Soarin lifted up the pie and tested its weight. “You sound like a dude anyway. Now seriously, if it wasn’t stealing your power for the vortex then what was it doing?”
Ubi flew into the air as it answered, “Oh you have no idea how liberating this is. As for my power it was being used to sustain the protective spells woven into the pie. The Vortex is a delicate thing, simply destroying the pie will do the trick.”
Soarin was about to object when Rainbow called down. “Hey Soarin I’ll down in just a minute. I’m wearing those stockings you like!”
“Nice”
“Yeah, you’re definitely a guy.”
“Hey you spend a couple of years at hip height in Sugarcube Corner without learning to appreciate the female body.”
“Sick, but interesting. Anyway I can’t destroy Rainbow’s pie; she worked so hard on it.”
Ubi floated toward the window. “Well good luck figuring out something else Mr. boyfriend, maybe we’ll meet again in a pool of suffering.”
“Where the heck do you think you’re going?” Soarin demanded, panic coiling within his chest as he desperately listened for any sign of Rainbow coming down the stairs.
“Uh, duh. Away from the impending apocalypse.”
“The hell you are. I helped you out and now you’re going to help me not screw up one the most important nights of my life, please.”
“Not my problem bub.”
“I’m begging you man, I’m begging you with the apocalypse in my hoofs.”
Ubi groaned as he stopped and turned around. He was glaring, but he floated back to Soarin’s side. “Alright, fine. Don’t know what I can do since I’m missing most of my power
and not to mention a few limbs.”
“I don’t know either man, just please think of something. Anything!” Soarin said urgently as he heard Rainbow start down the stairs. He placed down the pie and held a hoof to his head as he tried to imagine explaining the situation to her.
“Hmmmm” Ubi floated around Soarin, thinking. They couldn’t do anything to the pie itself and he had more chance of beating Celestia in a not ‘not a demon cloud’ contest then he had of magically disabling the vortex.
Starting to feel a bit anxious as well from the way Soaring was jumping from hoof to hoof, Ubi frowned as he regarded the vortex. The darn thing was bite size now and was growing at an ever increasing pace.
Bite size, now there was an idea.
“I have an idea.” Ubi said as he concentrated what was left of his magic.
“Really, oh thank Celestia” Soarin whispered, Rainbow was but steps away from the door.
“First, you have to say ahhhhh.”
“Why do I hav-“
‘Whap’
“Hey you ready to- oh seriously Soarin?”
Soarin dragged his face out of the pie and whimpered. Not because of the frown from Rainbow, though that was bad enough, and surprisingly not because of the temporal rift in space that was wriggling in his mouth. No, it was for a different reason Soarin felt tears spring up in his eyes.
The damn pie was hot.
Knowing he had little choice, Soarin swallowed and shuddered at the feeling of the thing unraveling in his throat and gullet. Panting desperately, Soarin tried to apologize with his eyes. Concern warred with the anger within Rainbow and she opened her mouth to say something when a bit of pie fell of Soarin muzzle.
‘Splat’
Soarin closed his eyes, prepared to meet his end. The end didn’t come however, unless it was heralded by giggling. Opening his eyes he saw Rainbow Dash’s futile attempt to control herself, hoof pressed against her mouth to contain her laughter.
Giving the goofiest smile he, Soarin thanked the stars hadn’t noticed anything amiss. Rainbow, who had been set off again by his smile, gained control of herself and gasped for breath.
“You’re such a laugh sometimes Soarin.” Rainbow said as she wiped her eyes. “I guess I should take it as a compliment that you couldn’t wait to eat it. You get cleaned and I’ll be outside.” Rainbow walked pass the doorway to the front entrance, laughing something about silly stallions.
Relief made Soarin’s knees weak as he heard the door open and close and he slumped down with a sigh. The pie squished under his chin, the tendrils having disappeared when he had eaten the vortex.
“I think that went quite well, wouldn’t you say?”
Soarin turned to glare at the demon, who had dropped down from the ceiling after Rainbow left. A hazy outline of a hand floated beside him, Ubi having decided that Soarin may have had a point the gender thing, and one its three pointed fingers moved in a ‘tut tut’ motion at Soarin.
“Now, now. There’s no need for that look, especially since I single handedly saved your anniversary from ruin. Now if you would excuse me, there’s a pink behind that I really to better acquainted with. No need to worry about any side effects, just don’t be participating in any blood sacrifices for the rest of your life and you’ll be just dandy.”
With that Ubi dropped though the floor and disappeared into the night. Soarin watched the floor for a moment, not knowing if the odd entity was really gone. Deciding that it didn’t matter, Soaring looked down at the pie and took another bite.
After a few moments of chewing, Soarin swallowed and gazed at the ceiling.
“Doesn’t taste half bad actually.”
