The Patient Hunter

You would think the world of colorful talking small horses would be peaceful, wouldn't you?  You would only be half right.

"Du du du, wa wa."

"Ugh, would you quit that?  It's not like you're going to be stuck much longer."

The majority of the world is peaceful.  Thanks in no small part to the 'immortal' rulers of Equestria.

"What, it's not like I have anything better to do but bug you.  I mean, I could plan out my revenge against Sunflanks and Moonbutt, but that would take away from the chaos of it!"

"Why did I start introducing you to human music again?"

The rest of the world is scattered pockets of irregular conflict and the Everfree Forest.  Then there is Canterlot, and it's Royal Statue Garden and Hedge Maze.  Where I have been stuck for a good seven hundred years, as an exhibit.  Oh, and the only company I have had is Discord.

"Because you were driven mad by boredom?  Besides, how do you know it's today?"

"Because Luna is back, Cadance and Shining are having a date in a week, and Cheerilee just entered Canterlot with a class.  Remember our deal?"

"Yeah, yeah, let you out if I wind up stoned."

You may be wondering why I was stuck as a lawn ornament.  Suffice to say, when you literally drop in unannounced during a trade discussion, Celestia takes it a might bit personal.

As the wave of harmonic magic expands to Canterlot, the princess of the sun looks out on her garden briefly to make sure that no one else had escaped.  She smiled as she looked at the statue of a bipedal being wrapped in armor with a duster flowing in the wind with one of its claws raised up holding some strange device aimed at the eastern horizon.  On its head concealing most details of its appearance was a large broad brimmed short hat.  On one side sticking slightly below the duster was the tip of a long sword with a plain sheath of petrified wood.  As she turned back to her work and planning a celebratory ceremony for her student and her friends she thought she heard a quiet snap.  Shrugging, she went back to planning.  "Now, should it be a red carpet or should I go with the white carpet with red accents..."

Two days.  TWO DAYS!  It took two days before I could scratch the itch that formed on my chest about four hundred years ago.  Of course, first I had to fall off the freaking five foot tall pedestal and land face first in the well maintained grass of the statue garden.  I mean, did they all have to measure every last blade of grass meticulously?

Any way, after getting up and scratching vigorously, I hopped up and started whistling as I walked towards the exit of the statuary.  Because let's be honest, that is the proper name for it.

As I walked past the two royal guards standing by the exit I nodded to them both as I passed.  "Afternoon gentlemen."  And resumed my whistling as I continued walking away.  They, of course, took offense to me just leaving.

“Halt!  Identify yourself, creature!”

I stop in mid stride, turn on my back heel to the two guards ponies.  “Seriously?  Celestia really didn’t tell you about the entities in the garden?  Well fine then, I think my plinth says I am called ‘Hunter,’ and while that is half right, it is also half wrong.  My name is Astartes the Hunter!”  Pause for dramatic effect…

“Well who ever you are, you are coming with us to see the captain!”

“Guys, I would love to join you for that, but you see, I just don’t have the time to wait for you to wake up, so lets get this over with.”  I then proceeded to calmly walk forward as my equipment shifts into a long thin cane and a heavy blunderbuss that I mount on its small carrier on my back as I twirl the cane slowly.

The guards are reasonably surprised that I seem to have disarmed so very readily before they realize what I said and get in to their stances gripping their spears with their wings tightly before leveling them at me.  This is a mistake on their part, as I am quick to inform them via slicing off the ends of their spears and smacking the both of them with the cane sheath of my threaded cane.

Shortly after Celestia returns to her study to begin dealing with the left over mess that Discord caused, including cotton candy jamming the cloud production factories to an uncomfortable degree, a guard bursts in panting.  "What is wrong now?  Let me guess, Cloudsdale is being flooded by chocolate rain, right?"

"Sorry to interrupt you, your highness, but something else left the statue garden!"

She immediately looked out towards a certain marble plinth.  "Oh no.  Go and wake my Sister from her sleep, and tell her that the Hunter is loose!"

You would think it would be hard to get out of Canterlot without attracting a lot of attention.  You would be half right.  I drew the stare of nobles and all their hangers on, but the guard didn't look at me twice.  Despite walking around with a slightly bloodied walking stick as far as they know.

So, being a newly freed biped in a nation of quadrupeds, I did the smart thing, and headed the one place ponies still don't normally go.  The Everfree Forest.  Now, before you think I am completely insane, I do have a hidden base with a bunch of my extra equipment.  Including a messenger bath, which will need cleaning and replaced quick silver, a workbench that is probably half decayed if not worse, a simple stone altar, and the Doll.  She gets snippy if you don't call her the Doll, and she is one of few companions I can say I would truly miss if she were gone.

Of course, to get there, I would have to deal with about five miles of forest that wants me dead on principle from last time I was here.  See, it used to be bigger, and spread where it wanted.  Then I went Molotov happy.  Which is why I am running from four manticores and a hydra.  "I hate this freaking forest!!"