The Conversion Bureau: More MLG Gun

by Heliocide

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 997

The ponies thought they won. They thought that one human can't stand up to them. They were wrong. So horribly wrong.

One day, the ponies decide to convert humanity for the "greater good".

They COULD have won.

If humanity's greatest invention didn't stop them.

This invention being a 13 year old boy. With video game powers.

Let the strawberry jam spread the floor.

Cover Art from Google.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-27 22:10:01 UTC

The One and Only

Princess Celestia was happy. Not big surprise.

She trotted through the city once known as Washington smugly. She saw some ponies tending to the converted humans. Overall, she was a big success as she finally wiped out the remaining numbers of the human race. She was giddy beyond all recognition. Surely nothing will dampen her mood now.

"Princess?"

Celestia turned around to see a guard. Nothing special here, just a plain guard with the trademark gold armour and white fur that made all guards look identical through an enchantment in their armour.

Now Celestia was curious. What did this guard want?

"Yes Iron Phalanx?"

The guard, now known as Iron Phalanx seemingly puffed up in pride because of the Princess knowing his name even though there were thousands of them. But that pride went away quickly as he spoke of more important matters.

"There is one more human left, Princess and he is immune to all manners of conversion. As we speak he is surrounded by an indestructible bubble it seems, an he requests to see you at once."

Now Celestia is at her peak of curiosity. No recorded human has been able to resist not even one mode of conversion. And she wished to correct that.

"Bring me to him."

"At once, your majesty."

The guard's horn glowed bright and they disappeared in a bright flash.

They materialized in a new location. One with a truck filled to the brim with big, blue briefcases and multiple contraptions that Celestia recognized as 'sentries' surrounded the human child in the middle. Said child is playing a guitar in a familiar tune.

Celestia glared at him through the transparent blue, glowing bubble that surrounded him. And spoke,

"Who are you?"

The boy kept playing on his guitar and looked up at Celestia and her whole army slowly gathering around the bubble. Celestia saw his whole body.

He had a fair white complexion and charcoal and rather messy, black hair. White rimmed glasses covered his eyes while the yellow hard hat that is a bit too big on him swayed a few times. Tilting his hat to the right, he dusted off his clothes which were a plain brown polo shirt with black pants and black sneakers. He smiled lazily and spoke in a Texas accent.

"Hey look, buddy, I'm Deth, the newest freedom fighter of humanity and a beginner engineer. That means I solve problems."

Celestia was about to retaliate but he cut her off.

"Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy."

He stopped strumming his guitar and pressed a button on his level 1 Sentry.

The sentry then auto targeted the guards in the face and fired quickly and accurate.

"Fall back!" Celestia shouted. As she glared venomously at the boy inside his bubble, still smiling lazily and once again continued to strum his guitar. Celestia casted a spell that made a bright gold wall of magic appear in front of her and her guards. She was close enough to hear what the boy had to say next.

"I solve practical problems." Deth then drunk from a bottle of applejack and spitted said drink and threw the bottle aimed at a guard. The bottle passed through Celestia's shield as if it were non existent and the bottle shattered on the guard's muzzle and knocked him out.

"Fr'instance, How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?"

Deth aimed his level 1 Sentry at the sky and brought some pegasi down to the ground.

"The answer, use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun."

As he said this Celestia heard multiple loud noises that sounded reminiscent to missiles being fired. Her world turned orange as she and her army were wiped out by missiles. Yet, Deth and his bubble were unaffected. Celestia used some of her magic to at least make the pain go away.

"Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me, Built by me, and you'd best hope... not pointed at you."

A loud bang filled her ears as she dropped to the ground, blood slowly pooling around her.

As she died, the converted humans were once again human and Deth smiled.

"Noobs." Deth stood up disabled his force field, grabbed the Blades of Chaos in a crate and screamed bloody murder as he went out to kill the remaining ponies on Earth.

Surprise!

The view closes up to a yellow pony with red streaks crossing his fur he dons a black scarf and black roundish glasses. his griffon-like tail swishing around happily in a white and empty room. His orange horns are rather dull but it's enough. He keeps typing on his laptop using his ghostly hands that came from an enchantment from his silver bracers. He then notices you looking and stops typing. He smiles at you and waves.

"Hey there viewer! Hope you enjoyed this fan fic! I know there ain't that much in the line of 'hella tons of video game crossovers' but it is a start!"

He then pulls out a small leather-bound book out of nowhere with a golden F in the middle of the cover. He then flips it to another page and he held it up for you to check out.

"Here! View another one of my fantastic fics! I promise you will not be weirded out at all! It's perfectly normal!"

"Be sure to leave some love and cheers for more fics to come! Though it does beg the question... What now?"

He then got an idea and began typing once again on his laptop happily, with a lazy smile on his face.

"Prepare thy anus!"

A banging of a door was heard.

"I know you're in there Etho! Come out!" The voice of Deth shouted.

"My own OC. Out to kill me. Heh, lolz."