P-ness

by Charyb

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 934

Pinkie Pie Pokes and Prods her new Penis, as Penned in Prolifically Purple Prose. Plenty of P-words Present.

Pinkie Pie Pokes and Prods her new Penis, as Penned in Prolifically Purple Prose. Plenty of P-words Present.

Cover art drawn by bartolomeus90, whom I'd prefer to pass on profaning with my passion for P. They draw nice things.

Now with reading by HagalazVA.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-26 17:50:01 UTC

PPPPPPPPPPP

Pinkie Pie pondered for a period in the present on her P-ness. And then on her penis. She was a pleasantly plump pink pony of presently prodigious proportions, and the perplexing properties of her plentiful and ponderous package paralyzed her own perception. Plainly the precipitous presence of her pulsing pony pounder was portentous of pleasurable proceedings, but Pinkie preferred to get a psychological picture of phenomena prior to pursuing a plan.

She peered at her portly privates and proposed to probe her problem prudently by poking and prodding it. Previously she had possessed a plump pink pussy in preference to a plump pink penis, but perhaps she'd permit a piddling portion of her preoccupation with pleasure to her pristine new pecker. She provided her pulsating prick with plenty of petting, and her pulmonary parts pitter-pattered with pleasure in payment.

"Oh!" she phonated as her penis promptly pounded with pep. It pumped up with plasma as she proceeded to pet it with a proliferating passion. No phrase perfectly portrayed the pure pleasure she was partaking in at that point, but her peeps painted a portrait of potency. "I pronounce it my Pinkie Pride!"

She'd previously proposed to play with her Pinkie Pride up to a point, but she passed that point as piping-hot pony precum percolated up from her penis. Pinkie passed a petite portion of her own piquant pre over her palate. "Perfect!"

She was prepared now to partake in her pride's own production in perpetuity, but was prevented from proceeding by a pony's pronunciation. "Pinkie!"

"Puh?" She popped off her pole and peered up. She paused... No pony present? Peculiar.

She prepared to pounce on her penis anew, but the peculiar pony's prolonged pandemonium penetrated her pleasure. "Pinkie Pie!"

Twilight Sparkle pushed in past her pad's porthole. "Pinkie Pie!" she pronounced. "I have absolutely no clue what you could have been doing up here, but we have to get you back to my library this instant! I just realized that new spell I cast on you yesterday had dire unforeseen consequences that would have given you a stallion's genitals!" She paused as she perceived Pinkie petting her precious new penis. "Wait... You knew? And you're sucking on it?"

"Presumably!" Pinkie perceived no problem with her prodigious peter. She pondered in passing as to why Twilight was so peeved. "Is it a problem?"

"How could it not be an issue? Look at it! It's gigantic and gross and just... ick!" Twilight prepared herself to prattle on. "I mean, I've been trying to find you ever since I realized what that spell did! It's my fault for not realizing that it wasn't a spell for avoiding logical fallacies so much as a spell for avoiding logical 'phalluses.' And... I honestly can't imagine why Starswirl the Bearded would have invented a spell like that, but it's my fault for assuming that his spellchecking spell had gone on the fritz." She panted. "The entire town's in an uproar over this. You wouldn't believe the gossip I heard on the way over here now that everyone knows you have a, um, you know... a stallion's thing in between your legs!"

Pinkie pitched her head. "Ponyville's in a panic?" she pried.

"The whole town is in a frenzy, yes." Twilight presumably protesting the practice of P.

"Perchance I've passed over the point of propriety?" she posited. "A Pinkie Pie with a penis in public is paradoxical in Ponyville's perception?"

"I just said as much! You can't have a mare walking around with that sort of equipment and not expect someone to notice!"

"Aw, Twilight!" she pouted. "You're perturbing my P-ness!"

"I should hope so!" She pranced back to the porthole. "Come on, Pinkie. As soon as we get back to the castle, I'll work on readying the necessary counter-spell to remove that unfortunate implement hanging over your crotch. Then we're going to have a very long talk about what exactly is and is not okay to flaunt to Applejack's customers while she's having a bakesale."

"Pshaw, Twilight!" Pinkie pooh-poohed, then she pouted when she perceived Twilight was not playing. "But it's my Pinkie Pride!"

"And the fact that you're calling it that is more than enough evidence that something has gone very wrong." Twilight's point phosphoresced and Pinkie's posterior was propelled into progress. "One way or another, Pinkie, you're going to be coming with me. We're going to get to the bottom of all this 'P-ness.'"

"Perish that plan!" Pinkie pleaded, perceiving her penis to be in peril. "Perhaps I prefer to pleasure a penis in place of a pussy for the present!"

"And stop starting all of your words with that specific letter!" Twilight's pull on her posterior persevered. "Unless that's a side effect of the spell, in which case we absolutely need to get rid of that. It's entirely ridiculous, and I can't see the reason as to why anyone could ever want that! There's a vast array of words available to you in expressing yourself, and you shouldn't have to stretch your vocabulary finding close-enough fits that start with a certain letter! It's simply asinine!"

It was patent that no plausible plan was present by which Pinkie could preserve her pulchritudinous paraphernalia. She'd produced no possibility in her psyche that'd persuade Twilight of her principles. The prerequisites to prevail on Twilight's preconceived presumptions on her penis were out of her power, and she prized that her pulsating peter would pay the price for that.

With a parting peck on her prodigious pecker, Pinkie Pie put the period on the parable of her Pinkie Pride.