Pinkie's Magic Pinching Shell of Pain

by Noir de Plume

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 892

Pinkie has a shell. And she wants EVERYPONY to hear the magic of the ocean.

It's a known fact that holding a shell to your ear will let you hear the ocean. So why does Pinkie's make everpony else hear "ouch?"

Submitted for The Competitive Writers' Guild April contest. The theme was "the sea."

Published 2015-04-29 16:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-29 16:00:02 UTC

Pinkie's Magic Pinching Shell of Pain

"No way!" Rainbow snorted. "You need your eyes checked!"

Twilight frowned. "If you tilt your head and squint, it does so look like a reverse double helix."

"I'm pretty sure you made up most of those words," the pegasus replied, chuckling. "Also, you stink at cloud watching." She flicked Twilight's muzzle with her tail.

"I guess I still have a lot to learn," the alicorn agreed. Twilight smiled, laying back into the grass. It was nice to have a day off from royal duties to spend with her friends. It reminded her of when she was still on her quest to make them.

"You're doing just fine, Twilight." Fluttershy patted her leg. "Dash, don't be so hard on her. Twilight runs a kingdom now."

"See, that one looks like a fish," Dashie said, pointing with her hoof, ignoring 'Shy entirely.

Twilight blinked. "Oh yes, I can see how it bears a similarity!"

Rainbow sighed. "You want to take another round over the field?"

"Let the poor dear rest. We've been flying all afternoon," Fluttershy interjected softly.

"Maybe in a bit. My wings are still sore," Twilight answered, grimacing a little.

"You are getting better," Rainbow conceded. "For an egghead."

Twilight grinned.

"Oh, great." Rainbow waved as Pinkie bounded through the gently waving grass towards them. "Here comes trouble."

"You guys have to try this!" Pinkie exclaimed. Each time a hoof touched the ground, it sprang back up. The effect was dizzying.

"Pinkie, you're gonna give me whiplash if you don't quit with the bouncing," Rainbow sighed, getting up and reaching out to steady the buoyant pink pony with a hoof.

"Try what, Pinkie?" Twilight asked. Pinkie thrust a smooth, white conical shell into the lavender alicorn's face.

"This!" she squealed before snatching it back.

"A seashell?" Rainbow asked, eyebrow arched, sounding utterly unimpressed.

"Oh, that poor homeless sea creature," Fluttershy murmured, shrinking back.

"A magical seashell," Pinkie corrected, admonishing Dashie with a *tsk* of her hoof. The blue pegasus rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. What's so 'magical' about it?" Dash sneered.

Fluttershy's ear twitched, and she raised an eyebrow, peering in the shell's direction.

"You can hear the ocean!" Pinkie giggled, holding it to her head.

Twilight laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, Pinkie. That doesn't make it magic. You can do that with any seashell. It's just the air moving within the shell's cavity and reverberating against the drum in your inner ear."

"Pinkie—" Fluttershy began, rising a few inches off the ground, her wings beating slowly and silently.

"Gimme that," Rainbow said, grabbing it. She pressed it to her ear, frowning. "I don't hear waves. It's just some lame 'whooosh' sound that's—OUCH!" Dash jerked the shell away from her ear as fast as she could, peering into it suspiciously. "What the hay?!"

"What happened?" Twilight asked, concerned. Fluttershy lowered her ears and cowered behind the alicorn.

"Something... It... It HURT!" Dash exclaimed, rubbing her ear furiously with her hoof. "Pinkie, what's with this stupid thing?" She held it out as far away from her body as she was physically able, lest it assault her again.

"I think—" Fluttershy tried, tentatively reaching for the shell.

Twilight lifted it from Rainbow's hooves with her magic before 'Shy could pick it up, the light pink aura giving the shell an enchanting glow. She turned it every which way, upside down, left, right, staring at it from up close and far away, attempting to decipher its mysteries. "Where did you get this, Pinkie?"

"Um, excuse me—" the yellow pegasus tried again.

"My uncle's nephew's sister's cousin's brother's father's wife," she gushed, hopping from hoof to hoof.

Rainbow blinked, rubbing her ear. "Yeah, never heard of that beach."

"She didn't ask what beach," Pinkie retorted, blowing the pegasus a rather juicy raspberry. "Yah big meanie. She asked where I got it." Rainbow Dash sighed and wiped spittle from her muzzle.

"She did answer the question in the most literal way possible," Twilight agreed, "as I did not specify location."

"Ugh, you encourage her!" Dash groaned, throwing her hooves up. Pinkie beamed.

"That shell—" Fluttershy tried again, extending a hoof.

Twilight frowned, lowering one ear, slowly, slowly bringing the shell to the other. She relaxed a little. "I can hear the sound, Rainbow. I think you just got your fur caught in a ridge—SWEET CELESTIA!" Twilight ripped her head away from the shell, leaving it hovering mid-air. "That—"

"Bucking hurt, didn't it?" Rainbow smirked, hoof still to her ear. Twilight nodded, the eye on the side of her injured ear watering. Rainbow turned and kicked at the shell with her hind legs.

Pinkie caught it. "You're gonna crack it!" she admonished.

"You take that evil thing back. 'Magic shell' my plot," Dash grumbled. Fluttershy simply shook her head and sighed.

Pinkie stood in the field, dumbfounded, watching as Twilight and the two pegasi took to the skies, circling for a moment before going their separate ways. "I guess it's just you and me," she said finally to the shell, sitting in the grass with a sigh. She looked down the smooth, white surface, turning it over, resting her cheek in one hoof. "I don't understand" she said sadly. Two tiny eyestalks poked out of the crevice, followed by one large claw. "Why did they have to be so crabby?"