I look good. But I don't feel good.
Sure, my bright orange mane is expertly fluffed, my curls bouncing to the maximum. My golden coat is brushed and shining. My hooves are shining with hoof oil. I look reasonably well presented.
Yet, if one were to look into my copper eyes, they would say they were lacking a shine.
It has nothing to do with my surroundings. The trees are vibrant and ducks quack in a nearby pond. Ponyville Park is a beautiful place and sitting on one of the benches here should have been relaxing.
Except it isn't.
My whole life is about to change, for better or for worse. I could either end up staying here in Equestria for good or I could be sent packing back to Shireland. I want to turn over a new leaf and start a new life. Equestria seems perfect except for one thing: it's extremely hard to get citizenship here.
As a pony prone to anxiety, I could very easily muck this up. Especially due to my.... special nature. Even besides that, I tend to attract trouble like a moth to light.
So, as I'm sitting there pondering this situation and trying not to have a panic attack, a pony walks up to me. One I instantly recognise with his light brown coat and dark brown mane, and his hourglass cutie mark.
Timeturner sits beside me on the park bench nonchalantly.
"Cousin Timewhirl. What brings you by to my humble town?" He enquires calmly, as if relatives from far away appear all the time.
"Cousin Timeturner. I heard there was a job at the new castle library. I'm looking for a fresh start away from Shireland."
"Folks here know me as Doctor Hooves, cousin." He corrects.
"You know Doc, you don't sound too happy to see me."
"Timewhirl dear, we all know trouble is basically your middle name. Why did you have to pick here? Celestia knows we already have enough monster attacks and friendship problems without you coming to stir things up."
I stand up indignantly. "Well nice to know I have someone's support here! I just want to make a fresh start away from all the bad blood! And what do you mean... do you think I'll cause an increase in monster attacks and.... uh, friendship problems?" I'm definitely confused by that part.
"At ease cousin. I didn't mean any harm. I'm just trying to protect my little town. Sit back down."
I keep standing stubbornly.
"Cousin. At ease. Please Timewhirl... I'm sorry. Sit back down." He soothes.
Wearily, I sit.
We stew in silence for a little bit.
"So, the castle library?" He converses. "You're aiming high."
"Not too high I hope. Hopefully it's a boon that a book is a part of my cutie mark." I reply, my earlier anxiety beginning to sneak in.
He reads between the lines. "You'll do fine, Timewhirl. Princess Twilight is a nice mare, very approachable. She will give you a fair chance at the interview."
My voice is a mere squeak. "You mean the princess herself is doing the interview?"
"Of course. She is the princess of friendship but is also known as "the people's princess" for a reason.
I begin to hyperventilate... until I notice my watch.
"Oh horsefeathers! I'm going to be late!"
I get up and leave without even a goodbye.
"Good luck!" The Doc calls after me.
***
The castle is big but I don't have time to check out the decor. I hurriedly give my name to the guard and get escorted to the library.
It's massive and stretches as far as the eye can see. On a table sipping tea is none other than the princess. I swear I nearly faint. Instead, I do a clumsy bow.
She smiles warmly at me but I can see the weariness in her eyes at my tardiness. She gives a silent cue to the guards who fall back.
"Timewhirl, I presume?"
I nod meekly.
"Why don't you take a seat?"
As I sit I scold myself to act more confident. A voice in my head sneers and reminds me I'm already tardy and employers value timekeeping. The voice sounds suspiciously like my father. I ignore it.
I smile warmly and take a seat.
Princess Twilight takes a peek out of a file, presumably my CV. She peers at me. "Timewhirl. Interesting name. It says here you're Shirish."
I clear my throat. "Yes, I hail from Shireland. I have a cousin living here in Ponyville though."
"And what makes you want to move here?"
"Well for one I would like to be near my cousin and involved in his life. I also want to make a fresh start. It's getting a little rough in Shireland at the moment with the horses trying to settle there. Makes it hard to be a pony."
She writes something in a notebook, and I become nervous and paranoid.
"By the way, sorry I was late, I was talking to the Doc." I explain.
"Are you ill?" She enquires.
"No. Doctor Hooves is my cousin."
Her eyebrow raises and I cringe at my stupidity. Now she'll think I'm not serious about the job!
"I CAN'T DO THIS!" I shout as I begin to hyperventilate. I know I'm having a panic attack. In the worst place possible! My mind races as I struggle to breathe. I curl up in a ball in my chair, and rock back and forth.
The princess says something that I can't hear because my head is spinning.
I know it's going to happen.
Just like it has before.
I can't control it.
I blink and feel myself just gone.
I reappear back on the bench and I see Doc's eyes widening.
He knows what I know.
That mixing a time agent, a unicorn, and somepony with anxiety is a recipe for disaster.
Being a time agent, he also knows that I am future me merging with past me making present me... meaning I went back in time and I haven't even had the interview.
The disappointed look in his eyes show me that I am so screwed.
"Timewhirl. What have you just done?" I can hear the irritation in Doctor Hooves' voice.
"Well.... I was kinda very late to the interview, Doc. And she sorta started thinking that I didn't care about the job-"
"Oh so you're a mind reader as well as a time agent now?" He asks sarcastically.
"Well no.... but I got a raised eyebrow! It was just like Daddy when he was cross! Oh, I can't face this sort of judgement!" I'm panicking again, and I start to shiver with anxiety.
Suddenly, I feel myself embraced by a big body.
"Hush, Whirly, it's going to be OK." He soothes.
He rubs my back until I calm down.
"Thanks, Doc. And I'm sorry." I apologise when my breathing becomes normal.
"That's OK. Now, because I love you I'm going to let you off this once. I won't punish you, and you can retake the interview."
"Oh my goodness! Thank you so much Doc!" I exclaim.
"No problem. Now, go, you don't want to be late again."
I dash.
This time I know what to expect, and bow, smile and take a seat like a normal pony.
"Timewhirl." She greets warmly. "I must say, it was getting close, I thought you would be late!"
What the princess doesn't realise is that by repeating the time she is getting a slight sense of deja vu and expected me to be late, subconsciously of course.
"Well, I'm a good timekeeper Your Highness." I explain, smiling widely all the time.
"Indeed. Now." She peers and my CV again. "Timewhirl. Interesting name. It says here you're from Shireland?"
"Yes, I am. I moved here to be closer to my cousin, Doctor Hooves and to be away from all the current strife there."
"Yes, I heard about that. I must question you about the horses sometime." She says with apparent glee, as she jots down the information in a notebook.
"So, Timewhirl. Why do you want to be a librarian here in the castle library?" The princess enquires, back to business.
"Well, I've always loved books- reading and writing them." I explain. "In fact... that's why there's a book in my cutie mark!" Not entirely the truth there, it's much more complex than that, but oh well.
"Oh! You're an author then?" She asks.
"Uh.... yes." I reply.
"That's funny, I don't think I have books by Timewhirl, or that I've even heard of you.."
"Well, that's probably because I use a pen name."
"And what's that?" She asks.
"Well..." I consider.
Should I tell her? I probably have to. Why did I mention it? She probably hasn't heard of me anyway, she's far too innocent, so I guess I should tell her and hope she doesn't look me up.
"Well?" She prompts with a genuine smile.
"It's Golden Lily." I say confidently with a smile.
It takes me all of a second to realise I've just made a huge mistake.
She stares at me, eyes wide, her cheeks slowly turning pink.
I stare back, my copper eyes wide in horror.
We continue like this for all of a minute and it's not long before we're both cherry red.
"You..... write.... smut?" She chokes out.
There's no going back. But... there is. Is it worth the wrath of Doc though?
OF COURSE IT IS! The Princess of Friendship knows I write smut.
"No, this isn't going to work." I explain as my horn starts to light up.
"What?" Princess Twilight asks, confused.
Damn, why does it take longer when I'm not having a panic attack? "Don't worry, it's alright." I say.
Then I'm gone.
Back to the bench in Ponyville with a disapproving cousin who is NOT impressed.
"Young mare you have some explaining to do!" He exclaims.
I am so doubly screwed.
