There was no greater pride for Cheerilee than watching her students grow into young intellectuals; a sensation that caused a deep satisfaction within the teacher upon the eventual discovery of their very special talent to which led to the acquisition of their cutie mark.
It always brought a smile upon her face whenever they ran back into school the very next day to flaunt the addition to their flank, to classmates and friends alike.
Over the course of the many years, she never really grew tired of it all. It was perhaps why she had remained single for such a length of time.
She was no stranger to sex; she had her flings from time to time, but it never really developed into anything else. A serious relationship was far from her mind whenever she indulged in the temptations of the flesh.
Or at least, that was what she used to think.
It had not gone from Cheerilee’s attention that gray strands had started to make itself known within her mane, causing the mare to seriously take pause and come to the realization that she was not getting any younger.
Cheerilee had passed up her one opportunity with Big Macintosh long ago, who was now more than happily married with the most kindest mare in Ponyville (or even Equestria for that matter), Fluttershy. They were a great couple and an even greater set of parents to their young and rambunctious foals to which she had the pleasure to teach.
Who had thought Fluttershy would had gone through three pregnancies already?
Always the quiet ones, mused Cheerilee as she looked over desks, the empty classroom bathed in the dimming rays of Celestia’s sun, I can’t say I am not a little bit jealous. Oh well… I had my opportunity and I kind of blew it.
There was no denying that Cheerilee had liked big Macintosh. In fact, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Applebloom were right on the mark when they had tried to set them up on a date before… even if the event was a complete and utter disaster of magical proportions.
She almost ended up marrying the stallion, after all...
A bittersweet smile drew across her lips as she looked to the red apple sitting atop of her desk, her eyes softening at it as tears threatened to linger at the corners.
As usual, she was gifted an apple from her students everyday after class. It was a touching gesture that had followed her through her many years of teaching; passed down from class to class as they graduated on in life. A tradition she had hoped would die out.
She never ate the apples.
Although her students' kindness touched her heart, Cheerilee could not bring herself to take pleasure in devouring the gift in front of them.
Just looking at the red flesh reminded her of just what she willingly allowed to slip through her hooves.
A family.
Children.
Big Macintosh…
Shaking her head to break herself out of her melancholy, Cheerilee rolled her eyes as she turned away from her desk, trotting towards the classroom door. “Now there is no need to feel sorry for yourself, Cheerilee. You made your bed, so you best just sleep in it.”
Opening the door, Cheerilee sighed, the door’s obnoxious creak reminding her that she needs to oil the hinges.
Much like herself, the classroom was beginning to show its age. She had considered closing the school down for a few days to give this old structure a good face lift. Perhaps paint up the outside, replace the doors; breathe some new life into an environment that needed it desperately.
It was at that point, she had considered putting herself under the same process.
Maybe a good hooficure and massage at the local spa would do her some good?
Resolute to committing to both ideas, Cheerilee made her final rounds about the premise to make with absolute certainty that the school was empty before locking up. She had made the mistake of locking in a certain trio of fillies one afternoon, many years ago. The resulting chaos that ensued almost gave Cheerilee a heart attack.
A slumber party at school? What were those girls thinking… I was cleaning up confetti for days!
They had detention for a week, even if no real harm had been done. After all, she was most certainly not going to clean up by herself if she had anything to say about it.
I wonder how those three are doing? The last I heard Scootaloo was still touring with the Wonderbolts and Sweetie Belle was recording her next album in Manehatten… perhaps I’ll bother Applebloom at the stall tomorrow and ask about them.
It was only right for her to inquire, since the three still go out of their way to visit the school whenever they could.
Cheerilee smiled at the memory, giggling a little as she turned away from the main entrance of the school, only to yelp moments later in surprise as she stared wide eyed at a pony that had crept up behind her.
“I-I am so sorry I did not notice you there earlier! My head was in the clouds, so to speak… Miss?” Cheerilee looked upon the grey mare holding a small bouquet of flowers in her mouth with a perplexed expression as a feeling of familiarity rung true inside of the teacher, and yet, she could not quite place a name to the face, even if it was upon the tip of her tongue. “I’m sorry, but have we met before? I think finally after all these years I might be going senile. Are you a former student of mine?”
The mare shifted nervously upon her hooves, her long silver mane framing her pretty features as she dipped her head and settled the bouquet upon the ground so she could speak.
“Y-yes,” the mare spoke nervously, her eyes averted, “I was.”
Cheerilee’s attention drifted to the bouquet of flowers then back up to the mare again, her brows raising at the mare’s unusual demeanor.
In her professional career as a teacher, she considered herself well liked by her students. Sure, there were a few bad eggs like there always was in every classroom, but she never once thought that her relationship with her students; current and former, would amass to this kind of awkward reunion.
Even the bullies of the school that grew up often returned to Cheerilee, thanking her for her hard work and for putting up with their immature attitudes. Of course, Cheerilee almost always jokingly chalked it up to hormones.
Cheerilee finally leaned to one side, looking at the mare’s cutie mark.
It was at that point that Cheerilee immediately recognized her. “Oh my, Celestia! Silver Spoon? Is that you?”
The mare nodded.
“Silver Spoon!” Cheerilee beamed, moving forward to hug the mare in a gentle embrace. “You have grown up so much! You have become quite the pretty mare, indeed! What are you doing here? To be honest, I am surprised Diamond Tiara isn't here with you! How is she? And since when did you stop wearing glasses?”
“Oh… we’re not really friends anymore—I wear contacts, now. It’s better than wearing that lame thing I used to wear. It’s not really in style at the moment, you know?” Silver Spoon muttered, quickly avoiding that subject to which Cheerilee noted with a little frown upon removing herself from the very one sided embrace.
Why is she so tense?
Although the young filly she once knew was all grown up and more than capable to look after herself, Cheerilee could not help but appear concerned. “I am so sorry to hear that… I hate to hear when fillyhood friends grow apart like that. But, I suppose, ponies change when they grow older. It’s just another fact of life, unfortunately we have to get through.”
Cheerilee internally scolded herself for offering advice on life when she herself did not necessarily have one outside of teaching to begin with. But then again, the caring and doting teacher figure would always be ingrained in her responses, no matter what.
It was an automatic reflex she consciously could not control.
An awkward silence descended between the two for several seconds, to which caused Cheerilee to pry further into Silver Spoon's reappearance. “Is… something the matter? Do you need to talk about something? If something is bothering you, Silver Spoon; and although I am not your teacher anymore, I would be more than happy to lend an ear, or two, and give advice.”
Silver Spoon inhaled a shakened breath, before sighing out her words. “I don’t even know why I am here.”
“Whatever the reason, it looks like something is really bothering you, Silver Spoon.” Cheerilee looked to the flowers. “Are those for somepony?”
Silver Spoon nodded.
Cheerilee smiled, a motherly tone softening her words. “Did you… get rejected?”
The Silver Spoon’s eyes lifted up, wide towards Cheerilee before she bit at her lower lip. “Not yet. I am just… afraid, I will...”
Cheerilee appeared stunned. “You? Afraid? If I am remember correctly, you were such a very forward and very confident little filly… if borderline arrogant at times… but in a way, I suppose I found it kind of cute how you used to think you and Diamond Tiara were so mature at the time. It often led you both in to trouble.”
“That isn't funny, you know…” Silver Spoon blushed heavily. “I know I wasn't exactly the kindest of fillies when I hung around Diamond Tiara and to be honest, I regret the things I did to everypony… the things I… didn't do.”
Cheerilee’s heart clenched at the mare’s words. A sympathetic smile crossed her lips. “I know exactly how you feel. But you can’t live in regret for the rest of your life. If anything, I believe you should do something about it because, I can assure you, ignoring it now will only make the pain grow stronger. If there is anything I can do to help…”
Cheerilee words drifted away as her concern only deepened as tears streaked down Silver Spoon’s cheeks. She could tell the poor mare was trembling and resisting a sob.
“Silver Spoon,” Cheerilee lifted a hoof towards the mare, resisting her own tears at the restrained agony displayed upon the younger mare's face, "don’t be afraid. I promise, if you speak what is truly inside of your heart, then nothing—”
Cheerilee’s heart stopped dead in her chest as Silver Spoon drew in close and pressed her lips against her own.
Shocked more than appalled by the sudden kiss, Cheerilee pulled back almost immediately. “S-Silver Spoon?!” She yelped.
“I-I always admired you,” Silver Spoon sobbed, her lips quivering as Cheerilee pulled away, “I didn't understand the feeling but… but when I grew older I… I realized that I was in love with you Miss Cheerilee, even when I was a filly… I didn't realize my sexuality until myself and Diamond Tiara… until we… but when we did it, all I could think of was you. I… I ruined a perfectly good relationship with her because all I could think about was you… I-I can’t run, or hide… you’re right.” She pressed hoof against her chest, her tears still flowing unrestrained. “I can’t be afraid because I have to be strong. I can’t get on with my life without knowing I did not at least try... I-I know if I don't say something now, th-then I am going to probably regret it for the rest of my life... so... M-Miss Cheerilee...”
“S-Silver…” Cheerilee lifted a hoof to her lips, falling back onto her haunches, unable to formulate words as the mare poured out her heart.
“Accept my feelings. Please, be my special somepony.”
Author's Note
Like, hate, flame, kiss the silverlee, it's all good.
Silver Spoon gazed upon Cheerilee with teary, hopeful eyes that pierced straight through to the mare’s heart. Cheerilee had recognized that expression upon Silver Spoon’s features that mirrored strictly her own when she had quietly watched Fluttershy and the love of her life walk down the aisle and exchange vows, including a kiss that brought tears of regret that was mistaken by all during the ceremony as tears of joy.
However, unlike Silver Spoon, Cheerilee did not act upon what she believed was right at the time. She allowed her love to slip away without a fight. Cheerilee had her chance to make things right in her heart and she stood idly by, allowing it to happen and to forever loathe the knowledge that she was too afraid to step out from under her career’s looming, comfortable shadow and genuinely live upon a path of true happiness.
How was Cheerilee supposed to know that her life-lesson speech to her former student was to reveal that she herself was the one that Silver Spoon admired; and with such conviction?
Although deeply moved to which was quite evident considering what was written upon her face, Cheerilee sat silently, as if some higher force; an all too familiar feeling, was preventing her from speaking even though she desperately wanted to.
“I-I understand if you have somepony else,” Silver Spoon murmured, “b-but I had to say something, because, you are all that I want. I know it’s silly of me to think that I could be with a pony like you, but I had to come out and say. I had to confront it.”
Cheerilee shook her head gently, her voice meek and softly whispered. “Silver Spoon, don’t say such—”
“I have to because I don’t deserve a pony so nice, and so… incredible. I tried really hard to forget about you and even when I graduated from school and moved on with my life with Diamond Tiara. I just… I just couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes and went to sleep I dreamt of only you... Every time I touched myself, I thought of only you, Miss Cheerilee. Every waking moment you were there in my life but only in memory. I thought that was enough... but I was wrong... I wanted more—I want, more.”
Silver Spoon also sat back on her haunches, staring back at Cheerilee with a sad, smiling expression that could only be the result of a cathartic feeling, mixed with a desperation in the young mare’s eyes that whittled away as time went by.
Silver Spoon was desperate to show her true herself to the one she loved and Cheerilee? She admired that. She felt proud that her former student would surpass her fears and come out finally to the one she loved; tossing aside any doubt or thought of rejection…
To just simply be who she wanted to be.
Silver Spoon wanted to be happy.
Cheerilee was not quite sure she could or should be the one to do it.
“Why?” Cheerilee croaked, barely able to speak considering how dry her mouth had become. “Why me?”
“I know I wasn’t a nice filly and I know I probably was a nightmare for you… I was stuck up, arrogant and extremely foul to everypony around me I deemed lesser but, I… I just wanted to be like you.” Silver Spoon smiled sweetly, reminiscing as she stared down at the still ignored bouquet of flowers she had brought for her. “You’re so strong and brave and I wanted to emulate that. You came to school everyday with a smile on your face as if nothing could bring you down, even when things did go wrong. You made me feel safe and secure, but, above all else, you really cared about your students. You… you’re amazing, Miss Cheerilee. How could I not fall in love with that?”
Strong?
Brave?
Such words did not resonate with Cheerilee and she most certainly did not associate herself with such qualities.
Her facade was so well worn that even this mare that had fallen in love with her because of it. Silver Spoon was fooled into thinking Cheerilee was everything and more than just a lonely academic too afraid to speak up about what was truly within her heart.
Regret washed heavily onto the teacher, as she came to realize not only was she lying to herself, but she had also inadvertently lied to her students.
They looked up to her as a strong figure; an adult to be trusted and admired.
Somepony to emulate.
Cheerilee could no longer take it. She felt her face twist as she sobbed, catching Silver Spoon completely by surprise.
“M-Miss Cheerilee?” The young mare stepped forward. “I’m sorry if I… I am sorry if I upset you… I… I know it was wrong of me to confess when you—”
“N-no… i-it’s not that…” Cheerilee whimpered. “It’s not your fault, Silver Spoon…”
“Then, what’s wrong?” Abandoning her feelings and her confession, Silver Spoon drew close to Cheerilee, embracing the older mare gently with her forehooves in an attempt to calm her down. “Is something the matter? Did somepony hurt you?”
It was only natural for Silver Spoon to sound so unsure. After all, since when had she seen Cheerilee ever cry?
“I-I’m… I’m not what you think I am…” Cheerilee wept.
Silver Spoon, pulled back from the embrace to properly look at the older mare’s face. “I’ve learnt that everypony has something to hide about themselves. I tried hiding away my love for you by forcing myself to think I was in love with Diamond Tiara, but, really, I was just running away. I’m not perfect; you know that, Miss Cheerilee. I don’t expect you to be without skeletons in your closet, either.”
Cheerilee lifted up a foreleg and wiped her face against it, trying her best to control herself, though completely unable to look at Silver Spoon in the eyes. “I-I’m in love with somepony… s-somepony I’ve lost… I watched him fall i-in love and… I-I was too afraid to say anything… I-I’m not the pony you think I am.” In her despair, Cheerilee felt a wave of anger slip by her crumbling defenses. “I’m not strong, or dependable, or truthful… I’m weak, I’m a liar… I’m a lonely, old mare who’s destined to be alone and I hate myself for it.”
It was only a matter of time before Cheerilee’s outer shell would crack under the pressure building up inside of her, desperate to break out.
She had figured she would take her regret to her lonely grave… so to finally speak about it like this so out in the open? It felt good.
“You don’t have to be alone.” Silver Spoon whispered, as she lifted a hoof to press against Cheerilee’s muzzle, smiling the best she can given the barrage of emotions swirling between the two. “I-I know that I’m not… I mean, I know nopony can replace him; whoever he is, but, you can’t go on holding onto a love that is never going to never give anything back.”
“W-what about you?” Cheerilee ventured, looking up at her with a questioning gaze. “Are you going to g-give up on me, even though I… I don’t like you in the way you want me to? I… I’m not saying I wouldn’t, but, you’re a former student of mine and I… I just don’t know if I could… even with a mare...”
Silver Spoon felt her hoof fall away as she turned her gaze up over the top of Cheerilee’s head, quiet for a moment as she considered her response.
“I… I sort of came here knowing that you wouldn't accept my feelings, Miss. I… I figured you would have had somepony you loved, or, maybe you just didn't swing that way, or… I thought of many, many things that would result with an unfavorable result. I suppose, in a way, I have readied myself against any impending rejection, so... it’s okay,” Silver Spoon beamed, bravely in the face of defeat, “I understand.”
Stunned by the maturity Silver Spoon was showing when compared to her falsified own, Cheerilee found herself smiling through her tears. “I’m, so proud of you. You've grown up so much. If anything, Silver Spoon, I would give anything to be more like y—”
“Cheerilee, I—”
Cheerilee closed her eyes, chuckling to herself as her words naturally slipped from her in a calm and authoritative tone. “Let me finish, Miss Spoon.”
“Sorry, M’am.” Silver Spoon instinctively sat up straight, her body trembling the tone of voice stirred up a lot of distant memories and more recent feelings.
Taking a deep breath and rubbing at her closed eyelids, Cheerilee opened them to gaze calmly towards her former student, gnawing idly on her lower lip for a second as she considered her words carefully.
“You’re an amazing young mare and to be honest, I just can’t understand why it is you had fallen in love with me,” Cheerilee lifted a hoof as Silver Spoon parted her lips to interject, silencing her with a stern stare, “but I am not going to try and dissuade your feelings. It would be wrong of me. But, I am old, now. I mean, there are plenty of younger stallions—I mean mares, out there that you could probably have a happier, longer life with. I’m… I’m not exactly in my prime anymore.”
“I don’t care.” Silver Spoon gently settled a hoof against her own chest, trying to steady her beating heart and still the concept of hope from blossoming in her chest. “Age and gender doesn’t matter… I know if I had done something when I was filly it would had dropped you in hot water, but now? Now I am old enough to make my own decisions. I can love who I want... and that person? It is always going to be you, Miss Cheerilee. I love you.”
For so long she had dreamed of hearing those words from Big Macintosh... but hearing it from a former student instead? Cheerilee was not quite entirely sure how she should feel.
A part of her told her it was wrong and yet another part felt elated; her heart pumped quickly at the words and for first time in a long time, Cheerilee felt a genuine form of happiness permanently locked upon her lips.
“I… I know I have to let him go, but, it is going to be difficult for me… I’ve never really thought of being with anypony younger than me or… or with a mare either, so...”
“Miss?” Silver Spoon questioned with widening eyes.
Cheerilee drew her eyes to the forgotten bouquet, moving a hoof out to drag them closer to her, staring down at it with a warm gaze that had finally stopped trickling tears of sadness. Instead, they misted with a glint of joy.
Somepony loved her.
This was her chance to feel love from another.
But... is it selfish of me?
“Yes,” Cheerilee whispered, even if the words shook her with a fear of uncertainty, “I will be your special somepony.”
_______________________
“Wait a minute—hold your horses there for a second but did you just say you said, yes?!” Berry Punch lowered her glass of whiskey, leaning forward on the couch as she gawked at Cheerilee, who shifted uncomfortably under the mare’s gaze.
Though, Cheerilee just about managed to nod under the other mare’s intense gaze, sipping quietly at her own glass of the bourbon.
“Whoa...” Berry Punch settled back into the couch, her eyes staring ahead of her as she absorbed it all, going over once again the story as if to confirm with her brain that the entire conversation did play out as she heard it. “When you said you wanted to talk, I figured it was about a particularly bad day at school, not a… confession! That’s great news! So who is the returning student?”
“Mm…” Cheerilee shrugged, her eyes locked upon the rim of her glass before lifting to the bouquet sitting on a vase upon a coffee table in front of the couch.
Frowning, Berry Punch hoisted a brow towards her friend. “Something tells me you invited me over not to brag about how you finally got a date?”
Cheerilee sighed. “It’s, complicated…” She took her eyes suddenly to Berry Punch, looking quite unsure of herself. “Well, not that it is complicated, but more so that it … It almost seems like… I can’t quite explain it.” The teacher poured a good mouthful from the glass, savoring the burning sensation as it warmed her gut on the way down.
Berry Punch rolled her eyes at her friend’s usual avoidance. “Listen, Cher, I know how reserved you can be about sex and relationships and—”
The academic sat up suddenly, quite evidently annoyed by the accusation. “I am not at all that prudish! I have had sex! Multiple times!”
“I know you don’t like bragging about it, or discussing it in detail—that is what I meant. I never said you were a prude, but you do tend to gloss over the details by avoiding the subject when it does come up from time to time.” Berry Punch pointed with her glass of whiskey. “Now, who is the stallion that has asked you out, hm? And don’t try and think you can talk yourself out of this one because I want to know ALL the juicy details… is he a hot, young hunk? Hm? Carrying a big package?” Berry Punch leaned in close.
Cheerilee flushed red. “Well… she’s—”
“WHAT?!” Berry Punch yelled. “She?!”
Clearing her throat, Cheerilee continued without looking towards her friend’s opened-mouthed face she could notice in her peripherals. “I have never really found mares attractive before in the past… or even thought of them in that way, so, it is a bit hard to answer that question, Berry.”
“Do you think I’m attractive?”
Cheerilee almost spluttered as she went for another sip. “No! Of course not! You’re my friend; I would never think of you like that!”
Not entirely convinced, Berry Punch pondered for a moment as she stared at her near empty glass. “Fine, fine… so… do you find this pony attractive, then? What’s her name?”
“S-Silver Spoon…”
“Hang on! The little grey filly that used to give you hell with Filth Rich’s daughter way back when? The very one you said you wanted to throttle because of how misbehaving and arrogant she was? That, Silver Spoon?”
Aghast, Cheerilee glared at Berry Punch. “I would never talk of my students in such a manner! Sure, she was quite the bully during her younger years—”
“Cheerilee, you really come out of your shell when you’re drunk. Trust me when I say this… you said those words.”
“Fine! But… she’s nothing like that now.” Cheerilee idly swirled the whiskey about in the glass, trying her best not to look at Berry Punch as she expanded upon that statement. “She’s kind, she’s surprisingly mature and… she’s probably the most bravest pony I have ever met.”
“Ooooh? Sounds like you’ve fallen for her quite hard, huh? Who would had thought you were such a cougar ready to sink her claws into young, pony flesh that used to be one of her stu—”
“I haven’t, quite, fallen for her.” Cheerilee corrected quickly, much to Berry Punch’s confusion.
Finishing up the drink, Berry Punch settled the empty glass down onto the coffee table before the couch. “So, then why did you say yes? I didn’t expect you to be the type to lead a pony on.”
Cheerilee shook her head. “It’s not like that! I’m… I’m not sure why I said yes, but something inside of me felt sort of… happy that somepony was willing to confess their feelings to me so directly and with such passion. She didn’t try to convince me to say yes, nor did she try and force herself upon me.” The kiss they had shared however, flashed through Cheerilee’s mind, causing the mare to suddenly stutter. “I-I suppose I—um, felt like giving her a chance… maybe, I’ll… grow to love her?”
“As your friend, I have to say this, so please don’t be upset, okay?” Berry punch scooted on the couch closer to Cheerilee and settled her forehooves down upon one of the mare’s thighs. “Be careful. You can’t go forcing yourself to love somepony because, I can assure you, it will go horribly wrong and it will be all your fault. I am not saying you would do it on purpose but you need to understand that you have to tread carefully and not lead her on into thinking you return her feelings, when in fact you don’t. It could end ugly for everypony involved.”
“I know,” Cheerilee nodded, smiling at her friend and more so at the concern, “and I won’t. Silver Spoon already knows that I am unsure and a little bit weary of a same sex relationship so, don’t worry, Berry. If things don’t work out, then at the very least, I can say I tried my best to make it work.”
Author's Note
Thanks for those that have fav'd and liked this so far! I don't normally go full on cheese-romance or drama, but, here it is.
Comment your thoughts, hates, loves! Thumbs up/drown if you like/hate. Whatever it is it is all good.
