The Cheese

by Mobius of the Moon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Comedy, Other
Length: 1548

One peaceful day in Ponyville... dairy happened.

One peaceful day in Ponyville... dairy happened.

Published 2012-05-15 07:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-15 07:34:02 UTC

Today's Forecast...

Please don't turn away right after reading this. What this is about is... well, you know Skyrim mods right? Well, I found quite a few hilarious ones involving cheese. So I have ponified them for us all to laugh at.

A lone stallion walked down the mountain, his coat shining in the rays of the sun. The sun... why had it abandoned them that dreaded day... he paused. Well, it was only about one week and three days ago, but still!

The stallion resumed his course. He was determined to go back, and see how things were holding up. Surely someone was still there. Dread settled in his stomach, but still he walked on.

Ponies were going about their normal business, as usual, and without a care in the world. What else could they do with their completely uneventful lives? Of course, those like the certain pink party pony bouncing down the street always had something to do. But that's beside the point. Today was going to be a little less uneventful, and perhaps filled with dairy.

Doctor Whooves was in his clock shop staring outside at the bright sunshine. He wished someone would come inside, even if to just look around. What else was he to do? He couldn't leave just yet. He had a shift to work.

Ponies would pass occasionally, sometimes even looking in. Doctor Whooves would watch them with hope in his eyes, only to deflate when they moved on. He sorely wished something new would happen. Why that one time he had been harassed by that young Apple family member was better than what he was doing now.

For the umpteenth time, he went into the back room to find something to do. He rummaged through old boxes, files, and various objects, and he still found nothing. Head down, he went back to the front counter, and that was when he heard it. Faintly, but surely, he heard a thump come from outside, and then a slight "oof" as if someone had had the air knocked out of them. Doctor Whooves looked around. Was that near his shop?

Then he heard another slight thump, but this time no "oof" to follow. Then a few more: thump... thump... thump thump. Confused he stepped towards the front doors to investigate. Just as he was about to open them, another stallion ran past, his mane and tail streaming out behind him, screaming.

Surprised, Mr. Whooves decided to open his shop doors, and see whatever was the matter. But when he did, what he saw would be seared in his memory forever.

Cheese. So much cheese. They blotted out the sun, only allowing a passing glimpse through to grace the town below.

Mr. Whooves caught sight of pink, and saw the party pony, her face panic stricken, as she sped towards him. "Pinkie!" he shouted, wincing at the rise of pitch in his voice. "What's happening?"

Pinkie Pie stopped, turning her head from side to side to see who was calling her name. When she caught sight of Whooves, she sped up, almost tripping herself in the process. As she made her way towards him, Cheese wheels missed her by hairs, landing in the street with solid thumps, joining the tens of others lying around.

"Well," Pinkie started, "It all happenedwhenIsawthischeeseinthestreetsoIpickeditupandIlookedforwhereitcamefromIlikecheesedidyouknowthatanywayIoatmealandI-"

"Pinkie!" Whooves shouted, "Just slow down. Speak slower."

Pinkie Pie took a deep breath, then nodded, "Okay."

[FLASHBACK]

Pinkamena Diane Pie was going through Ponyville, taking her usual route though the little village. She was planning on seeing her friend Twilight later on, but for now she wanted to enjoy the sunshine and make others smile.

"Hi Carrot Top!" She waved to the passing orange earth pony, who waved back with a smile. "Hi Lyra!" As did the mint green unicorn, who was just named.

Pinkie began humming a tune, now completely oblivious to the world around her. That is, until her hoof bumped into something soft but firm.

"Hm?" Pinkie stopped her humming, and looked down. To her puzzlement, a large wheel of cheese was laying in front of her, as if it had just appeared out of nowhere. And perhaps it had.

'Well that's funny." Pinkie said. "My Pinkie Senses didn't warn me about- OOOoohooHoh!"

Pinkie began shaking violently all over. It lasted for a few seconds, and when it stopped, Pinkie's eyes were wide. "Oh, it's gonna be a doozy!" She stated, and kept on walking. Until something large, round, and yellow rolled by her hooves again. Now Pinkie looked at it with slight fear. Another cheese wheel.

Looking up and turning her head from side to side until she was dizzy, she saw it. A massive wave of cheese, rolling down the mountain from Canterlot, which was currently buried in the stuff. Then at some point they were flying up into the air, and falling. But most of the cheese was headed straight for Ponyville.

"And well, that's when I started running away!" Pinkie finished, panting heavily. The pair had started running about ten minutes ago when the cheese began filling the street, and since then the cheese hadn't stopped. At this moment, a stallion with orangeish-brown fur that Whooves remembered to be called Caramel, ran past. But he didn't make it far past them, though. Just about ten feet ahead, a cheese wheel came and hit him in the head. He fell and didn't get up.

Both Pinkie and Whooves screamed, not knowing how else to react to the tragedy.

"Go! Go!" Whooves shoved Pinkie's rump and her hooves kicked up a storm. He tried following her, but he kept stumbling over the cheese, and it just continues to fall, piling up around him. He climbed hills and hills of cheese, going towards what he was sure was freedom. The sun could barely be seen now, the only light coming from street lamps, but those were either quickly buried, or hit so hard they broke.

He kept running.

A small purple lizard-looking creature, about as high as your knee, was running in the exact opposite direction. His only thoughts were that of a lavender library unicorn, one he saw as his sister. His small legs stumbled occasionally over a cheese wheel, but his claws allowed him to clamber over most piles. His heart beat frantically, and he panicked about what was happening. Where had all the cheese come from, anyway?

As he ran, he saw many ponies struck by cheese. One particular stallion collapsed, but then brought a hoof upwards, pointing at the sky and yelling, "I ALWAYS HATED YOU! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE EVIL! DAIRYYYYY!" But then about ten more cheese wheels landed on him, and he was silent.

Spike shook his head. No, he couldn't think like that. Twilight had to be okay. She just had to be!

And as he was distracted, he reached for a handhold, and slipped, he fell off the cheese hill he was climbing, and landed on his back. As he struggled to get up, he saw a cheese wheel falling directly towards him, and he increased his efforts. But it was all futile. For just as he stood up, something solidly hit him in the temple. He fell again, and was aware of the smell of Swiss, then nothing.

One week and three days later, Doctor Whooves returned to the Valley of Equestria. The cheese hadn't stopped flooding in, and so he had been forced to retreat to the mountains. Now that he had come back, he was stunned. How could this have happened. Who would do this? WHAT would do this?

The cheese wheels stretched out before him, a bleak yellow plain that revealed nothing underneath it. He kicked one with his hoof and it shifted slightly. Cautiously, he stepped out onto the field. The cheese moved a little bit, but he didn't sink in. How much cheese has descended upon this place? He thought, panicking. Could anyone still be there?

He walked across the cheese, and still he did not get swallowed by the odd dairy. It took him a while, but soon he found the point that he thought (or he hoped) Ponyville would be at. Then he dug.

He dug with his hooves, his mouth, just trying to go down. And as it got darker, he pulled out a flashlight, shining it downwards.

He didn't know how long he was down there, stuffing his face and shoving cheese out of the way, but he luckily wasn't crushed on the way down. When he finally reached ground, what he felt was something like wood.

He dug around a little bit, looking with great hope that he would find someone... hopefully sane. He had already met one mare, a little wonky, buried in cheese in the mountains. After an odd conversation, he had run like he'd never run before.

And at last he met somepony. Somepony with a lime green coat, white hair, and an apple pie cutie mark.

"Great weather we're having, ain't it?" Granny Smith asked.

Well, that was the most fun I've had writing a story in a while! Thanks to RLYoshi, who looked over this for me.
Now if I could only write on my unfinished stories...