A Zoologist Dream

by Sonson-Sensei

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 179757

Two zoology majors Chris and Keon got separated during a class trip into Amazonia. They soon find themselves stranded in Equestria.

Chris and Keon are two zoology majors that get separated from their class after following what Chris believed to be an undiscovered species of bird, during a trip into the Amazon rainforest.

Finding themselves stuck in a pit, they discover an ancient ruin adorned with murals and statues of what they believed to be ponies. They soon realize that the bird in question was the orchestrator of their fate, as they’re brought to what they are certain is their deaths.

Waking up, they are not only separated from each other, but in a new land entirely. Will they take this opportunity to learn about creatures only ever seen in legend, or will they be too busy being studied themselves?

Rated teen for sexual themes, crude humor, mild drug use.
(Edited by DF)

Published 2012-05-15 08:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-13 22:00:12 UTC

Chapter 2: Chased

Chapter 2: Chased

Canterlot

Princess Celestia rubbed her hoof on her temple as she mulled over the current situation. She had been made aware of an unprecedented discovery late that previous night, courtesy of her younger sister Luna. Staring absentmindedly through a glass window, she recalled last night’s events:

A loud tapping on her bedroom door roused the radiant princess from her slumbering, before a rather anxious Luna burst through.

“Pardon the intrusion sister,” Luna offered in compensation for the rude entry.

It took all but a second for Celestia to become fully alert and to quickly rise to her hooves. Celestia knew her sister wouldn’t have made such an entrance if the situation at hand hadn't warranted it.

Seeing that Celestia was giving her undivided attention to her, Luna began. “You won’t believe it, but a new species has been discovered in the gardens of Canterlot!” Luna said with a large grin showcasing her pearly-white teeth.

Celestia couldn’t help but stare at her younger sister with a raised brow. Surely Luna couldn’t have believed it was urgent to tell her about a new animal being found in the middle of the night. “Uh…I’m sorry, but come again?” Celestia returned in order to make sure she had heard right.

“Yes, a new species,” Luna answered, while shaking her head enthusiastically. “It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, vastly different than any animal ever seen in Equestria!”

Celestia smiled at her sister. Surely something of the sort would interest Luna, but she herself was only mildly intrigued. She did have a pet phoenix after all, what could be more interesting than that?

“That’s very…great Luna, and I’ll be more than happy to hear you out in the morning but for now…” Celestia tried but was cut off by Luna.

“No, I don’t think you quite understand the gravity of the situation,” Luna challenged, causing Celestia’s eyes to widen in surprise at the force behind Luna’s words.

“This isn’t some random colored bird or weird looking bunny,” Luna said. “It could very well be an alien or transdimensional being for all we know!”

Celestia stared blankly for a moment before finally finding her voice. “Where is it?” she asked bluntly.

Seeing that her sister now understood their position, Luna beamed. “It’s being moved to a place it can be contained.”

“Contained?” Celestia repeated. “Is it dangerous?”

“I don’t know,” Luna answered with a simple shrug. “I only had a brief encounter with it, and it was unconscious then. Besides, there hasn’t been any reported incidents so it hasn’t hurt anypony yet,” Luna said.

Celestia sighed in relief. “That’s good; it would have been a problem if this being had hurt somepony.”

Luna nodded her agreement. “Agreed, it really is fortunate we caught it while it was unconscious, it may have tried to go on a killing spree if it were awake.”

“You don’t really believe it’s of that sort?” Celestia asked.

“No, I don’t,” Luna admitted. “It was wearing clothing, so I’d assume it has some level of intelligence.”

“You don’t say?” Celestia said with intrigue at the prospect of having acquired an intelligent alien life form. “Do you know what this could mean for Equestria?”

“I have an idea: fear, panic, hysteria, those about cover the basics?” Luna joked.

Celestia frowned at Luna. “No, a greater understanding of the universe we live in,” she explained. “We have always entertained the idea that we weren’t the only sapient beings in this universe.”

“Yes, I understand that, but do our subjects?” Luna challenged. “Let’s face it; our citizens live a rather… routine life. How would they react to something of this magnitude?”

Celestia would have liked to have taken on that argument, but she realized Luna was correct. She had spent centuries molding Equestria into what it was today, and frankly put, it was almost a utopia in comparison to its neighboring countries. Her subjects were more or less ignorant to the larger world around them, let alone the universe.

“Your point is well taken.” Celestia said. “Very well, we’ll keep this finding to as few ponies as possible. At least until we properly know with what we are dealing.”

Luna nodded her understanding before beaming brightly like a young school filly. “So, do you want to go see it now? I know you’re going to be speechless.”

“Yes, it’s time we see to our guest,” Celestia responded.

It didn’t take the two princess long to find themselves in the infirmary wing of the castle dungeons. It was the only place that held the necessary amount of security, but with a modest amount of accommodation as well. At least that’s the story the captain had fed the two princesses.

As for Luna’s part she had proven quite correct in predicting Celestia’s speechlessness at seeing the creature.

After Celestia had regained her composure from the initial shock of what she had seen, she began inspecting it. She walked around the table the creature was currently resting on, taking in every inch of its bizarre appearance, making as many mental notes as possible.

“I hadn’t expected it to be so…bald,” Celestia spoke, acknowledging its relatively hairless appearance.

“I like its mane,” Luna said taking a few of its locks into her hoof. “I’ve never seen such a style; I wonder how I would look with these,” Luna mused.

“Don’t even consider it,” Celestia shot down quickly.

Luna mock pouted before taking one of the creature’s hands into her hoof. “Look at these tiny claws it has, I doubt it could even scratch an itch on me with these.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed,” Celestia agreed. “Its teeth are also strange, even its canines aren’t particularly sharp.”

“Agreed, I’m really starting to doubt that this thing is much of a predator,” Luna said. “Its claws aren’t sharp or strong enough to hold onto pray with, and its weak looking jaw doesn’t seem like it would pack a strong enough bite to bring something down, unless it’s small, of course.”

“Um, please forgive my intrusion,” the captain suddenly spoke up, letting his presence be known. “But if I may?”

“Go ahead Captain, speak your mind.” Celestia offered.

“I was just thinking, is it really safe for you two to be studying this thing yourselves? I mean it’s kind of big ain’t it, what if it wakes up?” the captain reasoned. “Surely we should station more guards just in case?”

“That does sound wise, but I wanted to keep this between as few ponies as possible,” Celestia answered. “But never the less you are correct, call for a platoon of guards to set up positions outside this room,“ Celestia ordered. “We don’t need to tell them what they are guarding, just as long as no pony enters this room it’ll be fine.”

The guard saluted in response before galloping away to see to his task.

“Well, now that he’s gone, should we strip it of its clothes?” Luna inquired; sounding more boisterous than she had planned.

“Luna!?” Celestia replied in shock.

“What? It’s just to discern whether it’s male or female,” Luna defended her position.

“But we don’t know its customs; such an act may offend it,” Celestia tried to counter.

“But it’s out cold,” Luna fired back. “Besides, it's soaking wet, remember? It’ll catch its death if we don’t remove them.”

Celestia sighed, Luna was once again right. “Very well, we’ll cover it with a blanket as soon as we get its wet clothes off,” Celestia said as her horn began to glow and the clothes of the creature magically began to pry themselves from the creature’s body.

It had taken all but a minute before the creature was bare before the two princesses.

Both Celestia and Luna stared at its naked form silently before Luna spoke up. “Well take a look at that, it’s a male,” Luna pointed out, taking note of its reproductive organ, similar to that of a stallion.

“Indeed,” Celestia responded as she magically floated over a blanket to cover up the body leaving only its face visible. “Did you have a look at its rear legs?” Celestia inquired.

“Yes, they appeared much more muscular than it’s forelegs, and such abnormal hip structure,” Luna said. “You don’t suppose he walks upright do you?”

“That’s precisely what I was thinking, he has to be bipedal,” Celestia said, finding it hard to conceal the excitement in her voice. “He’d probably stand at about your height,” Celestia added.

“Ha, a bipedal, possibly sapient alien, the griffin’s would be plucking out their feathers if they knew what just landed in our hooves,” Luna chimed arrogantly.

“Luna, it’s been over a thousand years since we’ve quarreled with the griffins,” Celestia lightly scolded. “We don’t need to dangle anything over their faces to spark anger.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Luna waved Celestia's reprimand off as her eye caught sight of a bag nearby on the ground. “Oh, I had forgotten, he came with a saddle bag.”

“Really?” Celestia asked, intrigued at what the creature could have had with it.

Luna excitedly trotted over to the backpack and began magically removing its contents. Once it was empty, she stared curiously at the things she had removed.

The first thing that had caught her interest was a small booklet, prompting her eyes to light up like the moon itself. “Celestia you have too see this!” Luna squealed, floating over the booklet towards Celestia.”

“Impossible this book is legible, and it’s written in Equestrian.” Celestia spoke. “It says passport.”

“Passport…what do you suppose a passport is?” Luna inquired curiously.

“Not sure,” Celestia answered as she opened up the booklet, revealing a picture of the creature, along with information beneath it. “Luna, I believe this is some form of identification,” Celestia deduced before she began to recite the wording. “Says here, name Keon Demar Ikner, nationality, United States of America, date of birth 23 FEB 1989.”

“Keon Demar Ikner,” Luna repeated thoughtfully. “Such a strange name,” She said, before returning her attention back to the items before her with Celestia joining her. Neither princess ever noticed the creature next to them beginning to stir.

‘…Voices?’ Keon thought to himself as he slowly began to regain consciousness. He was more than certain he could hear the voices of two female women conversing with one another. ‘Women, that can’t be right, I’m supposed to be dead, aren’t I?’ he thought to himself as past events began to run vividly through his mind.

‘But then again, maybe I’ve somehow managed to weasel my way into heaven,’ he mused at the prospect of waking up to the site of gorgeous angels waiting to pamper him forever in eternal bliss. His fantasy was quickly shattered as the unmistakable smell of bleach and antiseptic wafted through his nostrils.

‘Nope, I’m definitely in a hospital room,’ he concluded as he struggled to open his eyes. The bright light enveloping the room wasted no time in going to war with his pupils.

“Agha,” he grunted at an almost inaudible volume. Rising to an upright position he waited for his eyes to become accustomed to the light. Once his eyes finally managed to focus, he stared around the room blankly.

He realized he was definitely in some form of infirmary wing, although the metal table he was on wasn’t exactly what he’d call comfortable, it was damn cold.

‘Wait a minute, why the hell am I on a table instead of a bed?’ he wondered as he finally took notice of the two other occupants in the room with him.

“What…the fuck?” Keon muttered, as he was sure he was staring at the rear ends of two horses.

Both Celestia and Luna whipped their heads around at the sound of the sudden voice and stared speechlessly at Keon while he could do nothing but return the favor.

At seeing the two Alicorns staring back at him, Keon’s mind began to work at an extreme pace as he observed them. They were the strangest horses he’d ever seen. The white one had to have stood at a good seven feet including the horn, wait it had a horn? Keon noted before spying the wings on both ponies, holy shit, they have wings. But the strangest aspects of both ponies to Keon were their astral like manes, blowing in a nonexistent wind.

Neither Celestia nor Luna knew exactly what to say as they stared at the creature they assumed was named Keon. In truth, they hadn’t really planned on him waking up during their initial inspection. But here he was, fully awake and staring at them with obvious confusion.

“Greetings strange creature, 'tis I, Princess Luna, and mine sister, Princess Celestia! Pleasure to make your acquaintance!” Luna’s voice echoed loudly through the infirmary room. “I mean…hi,” she added uncertainly in a much softer tone.

Celestia shot Luna a disapproving glare for using the royal Canterlot voice.

At hearing Luna’s voice Keon’s eyes widened in shock as he frantically scooted away from the two princesses, falling off the table, and hitting the back of his head on the hard floor below in the process. His vision became a blurred haze, and he could clearly feel the blood now running down his back from having split his head open.

“Please calm down,” Celestia tried as she watched the creature struggle to its feet, trying to keep a fair amount of distance between them and him.

“Stay back!” Keon shouted to the two princesses, before he spied a nearby door. Wasting no time at all he bolted for the door in an effort to flee from wherever the hell he was.

Realizing this, Celestia had attempted to ensnare him with her magic, but he had already forced his way through the door and was out of sight.

“Quite agile for a creature that runs on two legs,” Luna noted as she casually trotted towards the door. “I suppose we should go and catch him, not that the guards you sent for won’t run into him first,” she concluded with a chuckle.

“Luna, this is no laughing matter,” Celestia rebuked. “Did you see the look in his eyes?” she asked. “Such fear and confusion, we may have very well caused irreversible damage.”

“We only spooked him,” Luna said, as though Celestia’s remark had been silly. “But the way he responded to us surely means that he’s not from around here,” Luna piped up growing ever more excited.

Meanwhile Keon was hauling more ass than he had ever done in his life. Nothing made sense, where the hell was he? Why the hell was there talking horses? And above all else, why the hell was he naked!?

“What is this?” Keon wondered, as he took note of all the empty cells he was currently passing by. “Am I in prison? What’s the deal with those damn horses?” Keon was abruptly brought out of his wonderings as he found himself being tackled to the ground.

“Get off me!” Keon ordered before delivering a vicious elbow to his assailant’s nose, or rather, in this case, muzzle. For his captor was indeed a pony clad in armor.

“I don’t believe this,” Keon said, getting back to his feet after freeing himself from the pony. “Is this place run by mutant ponies?” His question was partially answered as a dozen more armored ponies came around a nearby corner, with three of them actually flying.

“Halt!” one of the guards ordered.

“Like hell,” Keon said, now picking up his pace, although outrunning ponies proved futile as they were gaining ground fast. “Well, no shit I can’t outrun them,” Keon sorely noted as he came to a screeching halt after having run into a dead end. “Fuck,” he muttered, as the corridor was now blocked by the pursuing ponies.

Keon eyed the ponies wearily as they stared at him in a mixture of awe and confusion, but they still slowly inched towards him.

“Don’t come any closer!” Keon warned as he brought his fist up into a fighting position. He knew he was outnumbered, but the ponies were little more than half his height, he figured that may be enough to deter them.

He was wrong, and they kept inching forward, closing in on him.

Keon took a deep breath. If he was going to go down, he’d be damned if he didn’t break a few snouts along the way.

“Remember, you bastards asked for it!” Keon shouted as he threw himself into the mass of ponies, punching, kicking, kneeing, and elbowing anything in his way.

“Sounds like the guards found him alright,” Celestia grimly spoke, as she and Luna galloped briskly down the corridor where they could clearly hear the sounds of a struggle taking place.

“I hope he hasn’t managed to kill somepony,” Luna said morbidly.

Coming around the corner the princesses stopped to observe the scene. At least four guards were nursing injuries, and one pegasus clearly had a broken wing. As for the creature, he was currently struggling against the weight of the remaining ponies that managed to dog pile on top of him.

“Get..off…of…me!” Keon demanded but the ponies paid him no mind as they were getting to work on restraining his legs and arms.

“Princess, what is this thing!?” one of the guards questioned while struggling to tie up Keon’s legs.

“It’s…well …it’s complicated,” she said as she walked up to Keon and the mass of ponies piled on top of him. “My sincerest apologies,” Celestia offered kindly. “We hadn’t expected your awakening to go so… wrong.”

Keon didn’t respond but simply stared up at Celestia with a mixture of anger, fear, and confusion. Now that his initial rush of adrenaline began to die down, and he could clearly assess the situation, it scared the shit out of him.

The fact that he had awoken on a cold metal table could only mean one thing. These ponies were going to cut and gut him like a fish. His heart soon began to race frantically at the prospect of being mutilated and taken apart for study.

His chest heaving heavily, he struggled for air, as for some reason he was finding it hard to breath.

“Celestia, he’s hyperventilating,” Luna said with a hint of panic in her voice.

“Guards get off him quickly!” Celestia ordered.

“But your majesty,” one of the guards tried, but was shot down by Luna.

“Can’t you see he can’t breath!?” Luna retorted.

Without further argument the guards did as they were told and simply watched as the creature in front of them struggled to breath.

“You have to calm down Keon Demar Ikner,” Celestia tried to reason with it.

“No…just stay…stay…” Keon choked out as he swayed back and forth before finally releasing the contents of his stomach and passing out on the floor.

An awkward silence shrouded the room, as everypony stared down at the collapsed being.

“So much for good first impressions,” Luna quipped sarcastically.

‘Yes, last nights events had indeed been strange,’ Celestia summarized as she returned her attention back to the present.

It had been about six hours since the earlier incident, and the creature hadn’t awoken since. Celestia had to admit she was worried, she really didn’t intend for any harm to befall their strange visitor but things had sort of just fallen into place that way.

All they could do for now was keep an eye on his condition and have faith that he’d be a bit more…cooperative the next time he awoke.

Elsewhere

Chris aimed his compass towards the castle he intended to reach. Seeing that the castle was in the north east direction, it would be a simple matter of heading that way. Unfortunately, he had an uneasy feeling that the forest in front of him had no intentions to make it easy on him.

“Alright, I’m not getting any younger,” he said as he ventured towards the awaiting darkness provided by the forest.

Apart from the numerous amounts of strange plants Chris had come across, his trek was proving relatively uneventful. Although it gave him time to properly decipher his situation. Observing the trees was enough to tell him that he was no longer in Brazil, or even South America for that matter.

He concluded that the type of forest he was currently in was definitely one that could only exist in a temperament climate, not a tropical one. But like everything that had recently taken place, that too made no sense. How could he be moved off an entire continent without being aware of it? Better yet, why would someone do it in the first place?

Was the entire incident involving the strange bird and cavern all a part of some elaborate scheme? No, that was preposterous.

He was nothing more than an everyday student, just some average Joe trying to make it in the world. Who’d waste their time and resources just to play a cruel trick on him? Chris soon began to wonder about Keon, if he were safe or if he too was in a similar situation?

“Maybe I really am dead?” Chris began to argue with himself. “In truth that would make more sense than actually trying to rationalize any of this.”

Chris was suddenly brought back to reality as the unmistakable sound of wolves howling could be heard off in the distance.

“Oh…shit,” Chris exclaimed as he suddenly stopped and crouched down next to a tree, looking in the direction he could hear the howling coming from. ‘Those wolves don’t sound too far away,’ he thought, feeling as though someone had poured ice water down his back.

‘I guess I really didn’t consider that this forest would be home to some dangerous animals, kind of stupid of me,’ he acknowledged as he surveyed the forest floor for something he could use as a weapon if the situation called for it. Finding a relatively large, broken off tree branch, he picked it up and held it tightly in his hands.

“This should be enough to roll some heads,” he tried to reassure himself, before standing back up and walking in the direction he needed to go.

After a good hour or so Chris stopped to rest on a large tree stump. The crying of the wolves had long since stopped, which could really only mean two things, Chris had reasoned: Either the wolves had moved on out of the area, or they were in hunting mode. He hoped for the former.

He cast those thoughts aside when he took notice of a strange flying animal a few yards from him, he went to investigate it. He was sure he could narrow down his location by what type of wild life occupied the forest. The wolves themselves weren’t much to go on, considering wolves had a large array of lands in which they could be found.

Successfully creeping up on the unaware animal that was hovering above some flowers, Chris stared at it dumbfounded. He wasn’t entirely sure if it were an insect or a small woodland animal. It was little more than a blue ball of fur, with four insect like wings and abnormally large green eyes.

‘I’ve never seen anything like this,’ Chris thought excitedly, instinctively reaching for his iPhone. The quality obviously wasn’t of the same caliber as his camera, but he figured it was better than nothing. After taking a quick picture of the animal he grinned, seeing that this anomaly actually proved photogenic.

Taking out a pen and notepad he jotted down a few notes on the creature. He wasn’t certain where he was, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t seize the moment either. “My professor would have loved to study you,” Chris spoke to the tiny creature, causing it to stare at him briefly before flying away.

“I wonder if there’s any other weird species here,” Chris said as he stuffed the pen and notepad into his pocket.

It would seem fate had a cruel sense of humor, for Chris’s question was answered by the sound of low growling coming from behind him.

Standing to his full height, Chris whirled around to face whatever it was that didn’t sound too pleased with him at the moment.

Chris’s had to locate his jaw, as he took in the sight of the creature standing a few feet ahead of him. It was a wolf, yeah, that part made sense, what didn’t make sense was that this wolf appeared to be composed entirely of wood.

The wolf moved a pace forward, enticing Chris to do the same in the opposite direction. “I get it…a timberwolf.” Chris would love to have laughed at the pun, but there was absolutely nothing funny about his current predicament.

Gripping the branch firmly in his hands, he debated whether he should take on the wolf or to try and outrun it. His choice was made for him when more of the wolves stepped out of the shadows, their yellow eyes almost glowing in the darkness.

“So much for that idea,” Chris quipped as he launched the branch in his hands towards the nearest wolf and broke into a sprint at full speed in the opposite direction.

The timberwolves wasted no time in pursuing their would be meal.

“What in the hell are those things!?” Chris shouted, running at a speed he never thought he was capable of.

Daring to venture a peek over his shoulder, he was thankful to see that these things weren’t nearly as fast as actual flesh and blood wolves. Otherwise they would have caught him before the chase even started. That didn’t mean that they were slow by any means, for they were surely gaining ground.

Chris figured his only chance would be to lose the wolves or they would soon catch him. Fortunately, he could hear the sound of running water and without a second thought made a beeline directly for it.

The wolves seemed to have picked up on Chris’s intentions and picked up their pace.

Seeing the stream coming into view, Chris gave it everything his body had left for a final boost of speed. Without hesitation he dove head first into the stream. The wolf leading the charge went in right after him while the others stopped in their tracks.

Chris was somewhat surprised to see one of the wolves had actually followed him into the water. It wasn’t that wolves were afraid or didn’t like water, he just figured that ones made of wood probably didn’t like the idea of getting waterlogged.

Thankfully, his theory may have had some merit to it, considering the rest of the pack had opted not to go into the water. Not to mention that the one that had followed him didn’t appear to be much of a swimmer, its attempt at the doggy-paddle was pitiable. If it weren’t for the fact that wood is incredibly buoyant, Chris was sure the wolf would have drowned.

It took Chris only a minute to reach the bank on the other side. Climbing out, he watched as the wolf struggled against the current to make it to him. Taking notice of a large boulder, Chris went to retrieve it and headed back into the water.

He knew the wolf would be much harder to deal with once it got on land, so he wanted to take care of it while he had the advantage. Walking into the water until it reached about chest height he waited for the wolf to get closer.

The wolf for its part was far too busy trying to swim to notice the large boulder Chris slammed on top of its head.

“Lights out,” Chris spat, as he watched the unconscious or possibly dead Timberwolf get carried away down stream by the current. It pained Chris to do what he had done, but self preservation was an instinct no human could fight against.

Turning his attention to the remaining wolves, he watched them as they followed their comrade's limp form downstream.
Tiredly dragging himself out of the water, Chris laid down on the bank, breathing heavily from the ordeal.

The entire time he replayed what had just happened in his mind, he could only come up with one conclusion: He wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

Authors Note
Hey guys what’s up? Looks like my first chapter did pretty well, 40 favorites and only one dislike so thank you for that. I hope this chapter proved entertaining, and as you can see I’m trying for a somewhat realistic approach to this whole HIE angle. I know this chapter was a tad shorter than the first one but 4000-5000 words will be the average for each chapter. Anyway please comment, rate, and favorite you know all that good stuff and I’ll catch you with the next chapter.

Chapter 3: Talking Ponies?

Chapter 3: Talking Ponies?

“Were those things really real?” Chris asked himself for what had to be the tenth time. He wondered if his encounter with the timberwolves was just an illusion, that maybe his mind was playing tricks on him.

No matter how he tried to slice it, what he had seen wasn’t possible in the realm of reality. As far as Chris was concerned reality was a boring mundane world. Wasn’t that the reason fiction based books, cartoons and movies were made? So that people could momentarily escape into a world of wonderment that suspended disbelief.

Wolves made of timber definitely did not fit into the realm of reality, at least where he came from.

Casting those thoughts aside, Chris looked up into the sky. He figured he’d been navigating that forest for a good eight hours, and if that wasn’t enough to confirm it, the burning sensation in his legs did the trick.

Sitting down against a tree, Chris pulled off his shoes and rubbed his aching feet. He knew he needed to find shelter soon. If those Timberwolves were any indication of what could be lurking in the forest, he really didn’t want to be exposed over night.

Recalling an episode of man vs. wild he chuckled at the thought that he actually found himself needing the knowledge Bear Grylls had provided during the show. Unfortunately, Chris couldn’t actually remember any of the important stuff Bear had said, considering he mostly tuned in to watch Bear eat something disgusting.

Sighing to himself, Chris put his shoes back on and stood up. Assuming he had little daylight left building a shelter was already out of the question. His only option was to find shelter, preferably unoccupied by something dangerous.

Finding a cave would be ideal, but the odds of it being livable and empty were pretty slim. “Can’t be helped,” Chris reasoned as he began his search.

Elsewhere

Keon’s eyes suddenly shot open. He had just had the strangest dream of being chased down by armor-clad, talking ponies. Normally he couldn’t even remember his dreams, but this one was vividly clear. It was more like a memory of something that had actually happened, as opposed to a dream.

But he could mull over a random dream later, right now he wanted to know why he felt like hammered shit. He had a splitting headache and soar muscles. He wondered if he had gotten shitfaced the previous night and this was just the after effects.

Sure, that sounded reasonable, except that theory didn’t quite add up, considering he was on an expedition with his zoology class in the Amazonia forest. Not back at the frat house with his friends.

Finally taking notice of the room he was in, he stared around curiously. It was a padded white room with one large mirror and he himself was stationed on a cot, albeit a rather small one. Putting his hand to his head, he realized it was wrapped in gauze tape.

“That explains the migraine,” he said, figuring he must have hit his head pretty hard. “But why the hell am I in a psychiatric room? Did I lose my mind?” he wondered, as he pulled the blanket off his body and raked his fingers through his messy dreadlocks.

“Damn, bastards stripped me.” Keon groaned at seeing he was dressed in nothing more than a hospital gown.

Standing up from the cot, Keon looked down as his foot bumped into a tray at his feet. Observing it carefully he cocked his eyebrow. There was a glass of water, an apple, a small dish of dried oats and what had to be a portion of hay.

“What is this, do I look like a farm animal?” Keon muttered, before picking up the glass of water and downing it in one go. Taking the apple he gave it a once-over, it was strangely vibrant for an apple. Shrugging, he bit into it. He had to admit that it was probably the sweetest apple he’d ever tasted.

After finishing what was actually editable on the tray, Keon walked a few paces around the room before shouting. “Okay, the joke's over, someone let me the hell out of here!” he ordered while pointing a finger at his own reflection. “I know that’s a two-way mirror, so quit screwing around,” Keon barked out.

“That’s amazing,” Luna said from the opposite side of the window, to a guard that was positioned next to her. “How could he have known what this is, and figured it out so quickly?”

The guard didn’t show whether he was impressed or not, but opted to speak on another matter. “Shall I retrieve Princess Celestia?” he inquired. “The Princess had requested she be notified immediately upon its awakening.”

“But of course,” Luna answered. “I’ll keep an eye on him in the meantime.”

The guard simply bowed before going to complete his task.

Once the guard had gone, Luna returned her attention back to the occupant on the other side of the glass. Smiling to her self like a mischievous foal, Luna stretched out her hoof to a button to speak over an intercom.

“Keon…Keon Demar Ikner. That is your name, is it not?” Luna questioned over the intercom.

Keon instantly looked over to the small metal box positioned in the upper corner of the room where he could hear the voice coming from.

“If you know that, I’m guessing you confiscated my passport then?” Keon deduced before narrowing his eyes at the intercom. “Listen lady, I don’t know what’s going on or where I am, but let me out,” Keon said in a forceful tone.

“So, you do not know where you are then?” Luna said in an attempt to pry information about the subject at hand.

“Well, I know I’m in a padded room, but how and why I’m here is the question I’m trying to wrap my mind around,” Keon answered. “If I got hurt or something I’m grateful for you patching me up, but I’m ready to leave now.”

“Leave…and where is it you intend to go?” Luna prodded, growing ever more curious with this strange creature.

“I don’t know, if I can’t find my class and professor I’ll get on the first plane back to Chicago,” Keon summarized. “But never mind all that, where the hell am I now, and what’s with talking to me over a damn intercom?”

“My sincerest apologies for conversing with you in such a manner, but I believe this is the best method for now,” Luna spoke, considering she really didn’t want a similar fiasco like what happened when he first awoke. “But you mentioned you’re from the land of Chicago, what is that, and what’s a plane?”

Keon had a look of bewilderment plastered on his face at the question. “Did you just ask me what a plane is?” he repeated, making sure he had heard the question right.

“Indeed,” Luna said. “Is it how you arrived here?”

“Here…as in Brazil right?” Keon asked, starting to feel strangely uncertain about his situation.
“No, I mean Canterlot,” Luna answered.

“Canter…what the hell is Canterlot? We’re in Brazil.” Keon shot back, becoming increasingly irritated with the woman.

‘Interesting, he believes himself to be in a place called Brazil, does that mean he came here by mistake then?’ Luna pondered to herself before turning her attention back to Keon. “Canterlot is the royal city and capital of Equestria.”

“Er…what?” Keon asked dumbly.

“Equestria,” Luna said once more.

“Alright lady, are you sure you’re not the one who's supposed to be in this room?” Keon quipped. “You obviously have a screw loose.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Luna responded. “There are no screws loose as far as I can tell.”

Keon could only slap his hand on his forehead. “Okay, now I’m certain the inmates are running the asylum. Where is the real staff? I’m ready to get the hell out of this nut house!”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t at the present allow you to leave here.” Luna reasoned.

“What why!?” Keon shouted. “Look I have a passport, I’m not here illegally and I haven’t done anything wrong, so what do you want from me!”

“It’s true you haven’t done anything wrong as of yet, but we must be certain you are no threat to our subjects,” Luna explained. “It’s not everyday something as extraordinary as you arrive in our land.”

“Extraordinary…?” Keon muttered. “No, I’m sure there’s nothing dangerous or extraordinary about me. I’m just your everyday black guy.”

“I must disagree, you’re truly the most fascinating creature I’ve seen in all my time,” Luna said. “A mostly hairless creature that stands on just its hind legs, with remarkable intelligence, even capable of speech!” Luna squealed.

Keon was simply silent for a moment as he processed everything the voice had said to him. The woman had sounded as if she’d never seen another person before. Suddenly that dream in the back of his mind about talking ponies was starting to feel like anything but a dream.

His eyes suddenly wandered back to the tray of food that was left for him, the hay and oats still sitting there untouched. ‘Hay and oats…Of course, fucking horse food!’ Keon thought as he turned his attention back to the two way mirror with wide eyes. “Oh shit, that wasn’t a dream, you talking ponies were real!?” Keon suddenly shouted causing Luna to quirk her eyebrow.

“…Talking?” Luna repeated over the intercom. “You mean to say you have ponies where you come from, but they can not speak?”

“Hell no they can’t!” Keon confirmed. “Animals don’t talk.” He added.

“Animals…?” Luna said feeling insulted. “We’re not animals, we’re ponies,” Luna began to argue, only to be interrupted as Celestia made her presence known as she entered the room, with three guards trailing behind her.

“He’s awake?” Celestia questioned, sounding uncharacteristically excited.

“Yes,” Luna said, “and he had the indecency to call us animals.”

“He was speaking with you?” Celestia responded, ignoring that bit about being referred to as an animal.

Luna nodded her head. “I can only assume he believed that what happened at his first awakening was merely a dream. But just now he was able to piece everything together,” Luna concluded as she pointed her hoof towards the glass.

On the opposite side Keon was pulling on the padded walls in a pitiable attempt to find a way out.

Turning her attention back away from the room's struggling occupant, Celestia addressed Luna. “Did he say anything else?”

“He confirmed that he’s from a land called Chicago, and that he arrived on a plane,” Luna recited thoughtfully, “and apparently ponies can not speak where he is from.”

Celestia bobbed her head in understanding. “We’ll need to know a great deal more, the most important being, exactly what is he?”

“That may prove somewhat difficult,” Luna said. “He seems to have returned to his state of panic and hysteria.”

“It can’t be helped; he must be very frightened by all of this,” Celestia reasoned sympathetically while pressing down the intercom button with her own hoof.

“Please try to remain calm, I promise we intend to bring you no harm,” Celestia spoke softly over the intercom attempting to reason with her guest of sorts.

Keon stopped his futile pulling on the padding of his chamber and remained still for a moment before finally speaking. “If that’s true, then why am I being held against my will?”

“You must understand, we know little to nothing about you,” Celestia explained. “Are you an extraterrestrial; are you from a different dimension, what is your purpose for coming here?”

“You think I’m here on purpose?” Keon challenged. “All I know is after some weirdness with some bird I woke up here on a table next to two talking horses.”

“Ponies,” Celestia corrected.

“Oh sorry, ponies then,” Keon sarcastically apologized.

“I thought you arrived here on a plane,” Luna interjected.

“No, I arrived in Brazil on a plane,” Keon said. “This place I have no fucking clue, hell I’m still convinced this is a dream or I’m dead.”

“I can assure you that you are not dreaming nor are you dead,” Celestia responded.

Keon simply dropped his shoulders in defeat as he walked over to the small cot provided for him and took a seat on it.

Both parties were silent for a moment, before Keon spoke up.

“If this is all real, then what do you want from me?” Keon asked in a somber tone. “Am I just going to be watched from behind that glass for the rest of my life? Or are you going to cut me open?”

“Cut you open?” Celestia recited in a shocked tone. “Why in the heavens would we do such a barbaric thing?”

Keon could only shrug. “Isn’t that what they do in all the movies? Find something new and you dissect it to learn about it.”

“Wouldn’t something alive provide much more information, as opposed to something dead?” Luna questioned.

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?” Keon answered dryly. “But you never answered me, what’s next?”

“It’s entirely dependent upon your cooperation,” Celestia said. “There’s so much we need to know, before we can proceed further.”

Keon laced his fingers together and rested his chin on top of them in a thinking pose. He figured he didn’t have much of a choice but to abide by whatever they said. “Fine I’m willing to level with you, but at least give me a face to talk to,” he added. “This talking with a intercom is starting to get on my nerves, besides I need proof this isn’t a hoax.”

“You wish to see us?” Luna asked.

Keon simply nodded his response.

“Is that a good idea Princess?” one of the guards spoke up. “What if he tries to escape again?”

“I believe his previous reaction to flee was due to his initial shock,” Celestia reasoned. “He’s had time to come to terms with the situation. Besides, he seems like a reasonable being.”

“So, we’re going in then, are we?” Luna asked.

“Yes, we are,” Celestia said as she made her way towards the door, with Luna and the three guards following behind her.

Celestia turned her attention to the guards before speaking. “Please remain outside,” She ordered.

“But Princess,” one of the guards tried, but was cut off.

“I wish to establish trust with our visitor,” Celestia spoke. “He can’t very well trust us if I can’t even speak to him without an entourage of guards.”

Nodding their understanding, the three guards stepped back.

Taking a deep breath, Celestia’s horn began to glow.

On the opposite side of the wall, Keon’s eyes darted to a section of the padded room that began to glow in the shape of a door. A moment later the padding swung open and the two princesses strutted inside with their heads held high.

Keon could only watch the two Alicorns speechlessly. He reasoned that they really were a sight to behold, now that he wasn’t scared shitless of them. They were unlike anything he’d ever seen from the equidae family.

He couldn’t deny that they had the overall build of a pony, but subtle details differentiated them from what he was used to. For the most part it was their faces, their snouts didn’t stick out very far and their eyes were almost comically large. The wings and horns only further cemented their strangeness.

An awkward silence enveloped the room as Keon scrutinized the two princess and they did the same.

After a moment, Keon stood up and walked towards Celestia and Luna causing them to watch him carefully.

“Say something,” Keon ordered bluntly.

“I beg your pardon,” Celestia returned.

“Well, you weren’t speaking,” Keon said as he walked a slow circle around the two princesses, studying them carefully. “I needed to actually see you talking,” he added while slowly reaching out his hand towards Luna.

“What is it that you are doing?” Luna inquired just as Keon managed to place his hand on her side.

“You’re warm and you have a heart beat,” Keon acknowledged before removing his hand and stepping back. “I guess my theory of you two being animatronic is out the window.”

“Animatronic?” Luna questioned.

“You know, robotic puppets; they use them for movies and theme parks,” Keon answered. “I had all my money on you two being just that,” he admitted. “Although that wouldn’t explain how your manes are doing that,” he added just as he resumed sitting back on his cot. “By the way, how are they doing that wavy thing?”

“It’s merely a spell,” Celestia said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah right, a spell, you mean like magic?” Keon asked with a snort of skepticism.

“Exactly,” Celestia answered.

“There’s no such thing as magic,” Keon rebuked. “But then again, I was sure there was no such thing as talking ponies too.”

“Magic may not exist where you come from, but it’s very real here,” Luna interjected as her horn began to glow. “I’ll show you,” She offered while her magic enveloped Keon like a blanket and he was lifted off the cot and brought several feet into the air.

Keon’s eyes were wide in shock. “This is impossible!” he said while struggling futilely against Luna’s magic.

“Please release him,” Celestia ordered. “This is not the proper way to treat a guest.”

“Sorry you’re right,” Luna confessed while lowering Keon back onto the cot. “It’s just he seems to be a species that has to see and feel things for itself to ascertain if they’re real or not.”

“I suppose you’re correct, if feeling for your heartbeat was any indication,” Celestia said.

Meanwhile Keon could only stare at the two princesses as they conversed about him as though he weren’t in the room with them. Sure, he was something alien to them, and the whole ordeal had to be exciting from their perspective, but couldn’t they at least wait until they were away from him to talk about their findings?

After finally realizing that they were in the presence of another intelligent, sentient being Celestia offered an apology. “Forgive us for being so rude, but you have to imagine this is a momentous occasion. Everything we learn about you is so exhilarating.”

“I could see that, if you two were in the field of studying strange animals or anomalies but you two don’t look the type,” Keon assessed as his eyes locked on to the crowns stationed atop each princess’s head. “Who exactly are you anyway?” he added.

Celestia’s eyes widened as she realized that they never actually introduced themselves.

“This is quite embarrassing,” Celestia said with a slight chuckle. “I suppose proper introductions were never given, were they?”

“'Fraid not.” Keon answered bluntly.

“Technically, they were,” Luna piped in, causing both Celestia and Keon to turn to her. “When you first awoke I introduced both me and my sister.”

“Sorry, but I was probably too concerned with how you were talking to pay attention to anything you had actually said,” Keon retorted.

“No need to concern ourselves with the past,” Celestia said, trying to brush the first encounter under the rug. “My name is Princess Celestia,” Celestia spoke proudly.

“And I am Princess Luna, but you may call me Luna if you wish,” Luna offered.

“Name's Keon, but you already knew that,” Keon said while eyeing Celestia and Luna. “So princesses, huh?” Keon muttered. “Well that explains the crowns, but it doesn’t explain why you’re the ones here,” Keon finished, as he folded his arms behind his head and laid down on the cot. “I mean isn’t that kind of reckless?”

“How so?” Luna returned.

“Well, you two are royalty, right? Why put yourselves in harm's way?” Keon questioned. “For all you knew, I could have been some lunatic ready to kill everyone the moment I woke up.”

“When we found you I gave an initial inspection,” Luna argued. “Your teeth are relatively blunt and you have no claws to speak of. You’re not particularly big either. I’d wager you have a body weight of around 135lbs. This simple analysis lead me to believe that physically you’re more or less harmless.”

“Touché,” Keon quipped, although he was sure that a couple guard ponies would protest to that. “I suppose when you talk about humans in that manner we do seem pretty weak in comparison to other animals, huh?”

“Humans?” Celestia cut in. “Is that what you’re called?”

“Yep, kingdom animalia, phylum chordata, class mammalia, order primates, family hominidae, tribe hominini, genus homo, species Homo sapiens aka human,” Keon professionally recited. “Anything else you’d like to know?” he wittily concluded.

“Actually, that will be more than enough for now,” Celestia said.

“For now?” Keon asked as he pulled himself back to a sitting position on the cot. “I thought you would have way more questions to ask an alien than that.”

“All in good time,” Luna assured him. “It’s getting pretty late and we don’t wish to overwhelm you,” she said. “Besides, we must make arrangements to get you better accommodations.”

“Accommodations?” Keon asked. “You mean you’re going to spruce up my little cell?”

“She means we’ll be moving you out of here soon,” Celestia answered. “We can’t very well have a guest staying in such a place can we?”

“Sure you can,” Keon said. “Especially one you don’t know a damn thing about.”

“Are you saying we can not trust you then?” Celestia challenged.

“No, I’m speaking more in general terms,” Keon said. “No one should be this trusting; I mean what kind of fantasy land is this?”

“Is it wrong to have trust in somepony?” Luna piped in. “Or are humans a naturally cautious species?”

“We’ll save this discussion for another time,” Celestia cut in. “As for now we’ll let Mr. Keon get some rest. But before we go, is there anything you need?“ Celestia questioned. “I can see you haven’t touched your hay and oats, was it not to your liking?”

Keon stared down at the plate of what ponies would consider food. “Sorry, humans aren’t too great at digesting grass, and dry oatmeal is just nasty.”

“Really?” Luna said. “We found a small plastic bag of grounded up grass in your bag. We assumed it was apart of your diet.”

Keon quirked his eyebrow before he realized what Luna must have been talking about. “That’s a different type of grass and I wouldn’t suggest eating it,” he stated with a light chuckle. “As far as food goes I guess bread and fruits will do for now.”

Luna nodded her understanding. “We'll send for some right away.”

“Good night to you, Mr. Keon,” Celestia said as she and Luna turned to leave the room.

Keon simply watched the two princesses leave before laying back down on the cot. He wondered just what was in store for him. The only thing he was able to discern for sure was that he was in a land overseen by talking ponies, that had obviously not had previous contact with humans. His mind then drifted to Chris.

‘I wonder if you’re here too.’ Was his last thought before shutting his eyes.

Elsewhere

Chris traversed tiredly along a path of apple trees. It was dark, but the moon provided enough light to distinguish where he was. He was sure he was in an orchard, an apple orchard to be precise. His search for shelter was short lived, for the forest had soon given way to his current surrounding.

He was thankful, for if worst came to worst it would be decently safe to simply sleep underneath one of the numerous apple trees. Chris decided to weigh his two options. He was more than certain that someone had to be attending to the apples, considering he had passed several empty baskets that would have been used for carrying said apples.

How far could the farm actually be, was the question. The orchard was huge and showed no signs of ending anytime soon. Not long after Chris found his dilemma solved for him when he came across a small tree house.

Under the limited amount of light the moon provided the tree house looked well made, although it was terribly small. Even so, it was better looking than any tree house he’d seen in person. Chalking its small size up to simply being that it was made for small children. Chris shrugged his shoulders and walked up the small ramp leading to it.

Opening the door he peered inside. He noted it was much too dark to get a proper view, but resting was currently priority number one and he dropped himself on the floor like a ton of bricks. Taking off his bag, Chris laid his head on top of it like a makeshift pillow.

“I’ve never been so tired in my life,” Chris spoke to himself in the darkness of the room. “I’ve been clawing my way through that forest for over ten hours without an ounce of water to drink.”

Pulling out one of the apples he’d plucked from a tree, he ferociously bit into the fruit. “Damn that’s one good apple,” Chris said as he finished the rest of the juicy morsel like a savage. Chucking the core out the nearby window, Chris shut his eyes and happily embraced the darkness that came with it.

And another chapter down, I have to admit writing this is pretty fun. Anyway thank you to all the new people that added my story to their favorites list and thumbed me up. Well see you with the next chapter.

Chapter 4: First Acquaintances

Chapter 4: First Acquaintances

Three small fillies merrily trotted to the clubhouse they had dubbed their base of operations.

The one currently out in front and leading the other two along was a small pony with butter cream yellow fur and a bright red mane topped with a pink bow. The next in line was a tiny pegasus pony with a bright orange coat and magenta colored mane. The final one of the trio was a unicorn with a sleek white coat and a mane that was shaded both pink and light purple.

“So, Apple Bloom, you have any cool ideas to help us get our cutie marks today?” the pegasus of the group questioned the yellow colored pony out in front.

“I’ve got ah couple, Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said in a southern twang. “We ain’t tried coal mining or lumber jackin' or maybe our talents' cherry pit spitting!”

“Cherry pit spitting, what’s that?” the unicorn asked with a raised brow.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle, yah don’t know about cherry pit spitting?” Apple Bloom said before answering. “All you have to do is take a cherry pit in yer mouth and see how far yah can spit it. They hold competitions for it and everything,” she added.

“Neat,” Sweetie Belle said with a large toothy grin.

“I reckon we’ll be great at it. Jus' wait, after today they’ll have to call us…well I can’t think of anything that’s got to do with three cherry pit spitting, tree hackin', coal miners,” Apple Bloom admitted bashfully.

“Yeah, but we’ll think of something,” Scootaloo said, just as their club house finally came into view. “It’s too bad our club house is so far out on the farm, takes forever to walk out here,” she complained.

“Can’t be helped, this is one of the few private spots on the farm,” Apple Bloom said as they walked up the ramp to their club house and she pushed open the door with her forehooves.

All three girls instantly froze in their tracks when they noticed the sleeping mass against the far wall.

“What is that thing!?” Scootaloo asked out loud, while carefully eyeing whatever was currently sleeping in their clubhouse.

“Maybe it’s some kind of animal,” Sweetie Belle said.

“I suppose so,” Apple Bloom agreed, as she inched forward to get a better look. “It sure does look plum tuckered out,” She finished.

“It must have had a rough time of it,” Scootaloo assessed. “I mean look at all those cuts…gross.”

“Never mind its cuts, where did all it’s fur go?” Sweetie Belle asked, observing its bare arms. “All it's got left is that small patch on its head.”

“I don’t know,” Apple Bloom said. “More importantly: What you think we outha do with it, should we tell somepony, like Fluttershy?”

“But it might run away before we get back with Fluttershy,” Sweetie Belle countered.

“We could always tie it up first,” Scootaloo reasoned.

“And risk waking this big feller up?” Apple Bloom protested. “I ain’t having anything to do with that.”

“Good point,” Scootaloo agreed.

“But maybe it’s friendly,” Sweetie Belle said. “We shouldn’t jump to conclusions just because it’s different.”

“Different doesn’t begin to describe this thing,” Scootaloo quipped. “I bet not even Fluttershy knows what it is. In fact, why are we still hanging around? Let’s get out of here before it wakes up and decides to eat somepony.”

Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo before she marched right up to the sleeping creature.

“What are you doing?” Scootaloo hissed. “You want it to wake it up or something?”

Sweetie Belle took a look at the creature then an uneasy glance at Apple Bloom. “There’s only one way to find out,” She concluded, as she reached out her hoof and began to gently poke the creature. “…wake up sleepy head,” she whispered softly.

“…Don’t” Scootaloo tried to protest without raising her voice, but it was too late, seeing as the creature had begun to stir.

Feeling the gentle prodding, Chris’s consciousness slowly began to return to him, and he cracked his eyes open. As expected, the bright light did his eyes no favors while they adjusted. Lifting himself to a slouched over position, he stared down at what had been prodding him.

He was sure it was a pony, although it was the strangest pony he’d ever seen. Its head was big and its eyes were unnecessarily large and positioned on the front of its face. Its mane was also two different shades, half of it being pink with the other half being a light purple. Apart from that it was tiny, even for a foal, not much bigger than a border collie.

Taking notice of the other two fillies that looked to be staring at him in fear, Chris smiled at them. Their colors were like nothing he’d ever seen in a pony, even so they weren’t nearly as high on his weird meter as the timberwolves.

Lowering his gaze back down to the filly closest to him, he moved his hand towards her and began to scratch softly behind her ears. “Aren’t you just the cutest, I wonder where your owner is,” Chris questioned as Sweetie Belle leaned into his hand with a content smile and spoke.

“That feels really nice,” She chimed.

Chris paused his scratching much to Sweetie Belle’s dismay as he observed the room in search of where the voice had come from.

“Hey, who said that?” Chris questioned, enticing Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to stare at one another in confusion.
“I said it of course,” Sweetie Belle answered with a bright smile.

Chris’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates, as he stared at the small pony beaming at him. His eyes then darted to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“Uh oh…I think you might have made it mad.” Scootaloo pointed out while taking an uneasy step back.

“I dunno,” Apple Bloom said, “it looks more confused than anything. “

After a moment of silence and awkward staring between Chris and the fillies, he simply stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Its official, I’ve lost my damn mind,” he figured, as he walked past the small ponies and out the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Sweetie Belle called after Chris, as she, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watched him leave.

“Whoa that feller sure was…different,” Apple Bloom said. “And it could talk too.”

“Can’t say I saw that coming,” Scootaloo admitted. “But Fluttershy always said strange creatures live in the Everfree forest, maybe it wandered out of there.”

“Yah think so? Ah mean, somethin like that livin' in the Everfree forest, you’d think everypony would know about it,” Apple Bloom said.

“Maybe it came from a faraway land?” Sweetie Belle piped in. “We should have asked.”

“It couldn’t have gotten far, let’s follow it,” Apple Bloom suggested.

“You want to go after it?” Scootaloo said. “Shouldn’t we be telling somepony that there’s a weird creature walking around out here?”

“It wasn’t that weird,” Sweetie Belle tried to defend. “Actually, I thought it was kind of nice.”

“Not weird?” Scootaloo fired back. “It walked out of here on two hooves!”

“Well, I think yer jus' scared,” Apple Bloom challenged.

“…Me scared, pft, as if,” Scootaloo scoffed.

“Then let's go!” Sweetie Belle chimed in.

Meanwhile, Chris was grumbling to himself as he marched through the apple orchard. “I swear, if it isn’t one thing it’s another. Just what kind of fairytale land am I in? Stick wolves, talking ponies, what’s next? Cerberus, griffons… dragons!?”

“I bet that castle I’m headed to is home to elves or something else equally ridiculous,” Chris half heartedly mused.

“So, yer headed to Canterlot then?” Apple Bloom suddenly says from a few paces behind Chris.

Chris wiped his head backward and was greeted with the sight of three small ponies following him. Sighing to himself, he figured he may as well go along with whatever was transpiring here, even though it made little logical sense.

“Is Canterlot that place with the castle that’s looks like it’s hanging on a mountain side?” he questioned.

The three fillies nodded in unison.

“Yes, that’s Canterlot, it’s the capital of Equestria and the royal city,” Sweetie Belle confirmed.

“Great, can I find other people there?” Chris asked expectantly.

The three girls shared confused expressions with one another before Scootaloo spoke up.

“What are…people?” she asked.

Chris’s eyes were wide and his mouth agape, as his brain processed the question Scootaloo had asked. He had already toyed with the idea that he probably wasn’t on earth anymore, but seeing the castle, he was sure that people still occupied wherever he was. But the little orange filly’s question would contradict that theory.

“Hey, you okay?” Apple Bloom asked with concern in her voice, seeing that Chris had stopped moving and was simply staring into space blankly.

Snapping out of his daze, he stared down at the three girls with a pleading expression. “Are you saying there are no other people here?”

“If by people, you mean others that look like you, then no,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah, we’ve never seen anything like you before,” Scootaloo cut in. “I mean no offense, but you’re like the weirdest thing ever.”

Chris’s brain was working at an alarming rate as the new wave of information flooded his mind. Before he had a goal: to reach that castle and find civilization. It had been enough to keep him going, but what now? Even if he got there, there would be no people there to greet him and possibly help him get home.

He was simply stuck in a fantasy world with no plan of action.

“Well, this sucks,” Chris said, as he set down on the ground with a defeated expression plastered across his face. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” he finished while covering his face in his palms.

“It sure does look sad,” Scootaloo said.

“Whatcha expect?” Apple Bloom said. “It was lookin for more of its own kind, but found out ain’t none like it.”

“We should try and cheer him up,” Sweetie Belle suggested, while walking right up to Chris’s side and placing a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, you don’t have to be sad.”

“Yeah, maybe there are other people that we just didn’t know about.” Scootaloo tried. “Right, Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Equestria is huge there might be others,” Apple Bloom agreed.

Chris unburied his face from his palms and forced a small smile. He found it sweet that the little fillies before him were trying to make him feel better. In all rights, being the first human they had ever seen, they had every reason to fear him, not comfort him. He chalked that up to them simply being children and too naive to perceive what possible danger he could pose to them.

“Thanks girls,” Chris choked out as he gently scratched Scootaloo and Apple Bloom behind their ears.

Scootaloo shivered from the contact, but beamed all the same. “You’re right Sweetie Belle, that does feel nice,” Scootaloo cooed and pushed her head against Chris’s hand.

“Yeah, it kind of tickles, but it’s relaxin' at the same time, know what ah mean?” Apple Bloom added.

Chris lightly chuckled to himself. He’d always wondered if animals really did enjoy when humans did that that sort of thing, he had his answer. Now that Scootaloo was in such proximity to him he finally took notice of her tiny wings.

“Are those… wings?” He asked dumbly.

“Huh?” Scootaloo said before looking down at her own back. “Well, yeah. I’m a pegasus,” She answered as she flared her wings.

“Pegasus, yep I’m definitely in a world of make believe.” Chris said while looking between Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to see if there were any details he’d had missed on them. Sure enough there was, for the white pony clearly had a horn sprouting from the top of her head. ‘I don’t believe it, a unicorn?’ Chris mused.

Chris began to wonder just how mythical the world he was in actually was. Maybe there were sorcerers and the like that could use magic. Hell, he was willing to believe anything was possible at this point; he had gotten there somehow after all, which meant there was a way back.

“Hey um…girls are there peo…I mean uh something in this world that can use magic?” Chris asked sounding unsure of himself.

“Unicorns can use magic,” Sweetie Belle answered with enthusiasm. “I’m not good at it but my sister is, and Twilight is really good too.”

“Is that so, you think I could talk with one of them?” Chris asked.

“Well, yeah, but we’ll have to take yah to Ponyville,” Apple Bloom said. “And I can’t say how the other ponies will treat yah,” She added.

“I suppose that might be a problem,” Chris reasoned. ‘I’m more or less an alien here, I doubt I could just waltz right into town. I guess it’s just good fortune I ran into a group of kids first,’ Chris thought to himself.

“Well, how about this, just bring your sister or, uh, Twilight back here,” Chris suggested. “I don’t want to cause a panic.” ‘More like I don’t want to find myself imprisoned,’ he thought to himself.

“Okay, we’ll do it,” Sweetie Belle said. “But, by the way, what should we call you?”

“Just call me Chris,” he offered.

“Alright Chris.” Apple Bloom beamed. “And I’m Apple Bloom, and this here’s Sweetie Belle, and over there is ol' Scootaloo, but you can call us...”

“The cutie mark crusaders!” all three ponies chorused in unison.

“Um oka…” Before Chris could finish his sentence, he found himself being speared painfully to the ground by a golden blur.

“What…in…the…hell,” Chris strained to speak due to the weight on his chest. Staring at the source of the weight he found a golden orange pony’s face dangerously close to his own, and she didn’t look happy.

“I don’t know what you are partner, or what intentions yah had for mah sister an' her friends, but it's ending here,” she stated bluntly.

Chris was really starting to like his decision to not walk into Ponyville with the crusaders, if this was any indication of how the other ponies would have reacted to him.

“I don’t have any ill intentions with those little ones, I swear. I just needed their help,” Chris tried to reason with his surprisingly strong captor.

“How do I know I can trust yah, huh?” she challenged.

“Yah can trust him Applejack,” Apple Bloom defended.

“And how you figure that Apple Bloom?” Applejack countered.

“If he were dangerous wouldn’t he have hurt us already?” Sweetie Belle answered simply.

Applejack looked at the crusaders, then back down at Chris with an unsure expression. “This feller ain’t like nothing I’d ever seen, I jus' don’t know if it’s safe.”

“Look, I’m just trying to find a way back home, I’m not looking for trouble,” Chris explained. “These three said they knew a couple of unicorns that could use magic, so I asked for help.”

Applejack let up a bit on the pressure she was putting on Chris’s chest, but still pinning him firmly to the ground. “Where did yah come from?” she asked carefully.

“Earth,” Chris replied dryly.

“You’re on Earth,” Applejack shot back matter-of-factly. “Be more specific,” she added.

“Trust me, this isn’t the Earth I’m from,” Chris said. “It’s more like alternate one, or something.”

Applejack's emerald eyes bore into Chris for what seemed like an eternity to him, before she finally pulled her hooves off his chest and stepped back. “Don’t feel like yer trying to pull one over on me,” Applejack reasoned. “Sorry I had tah get so rough on yah, can’t ever be too sure. Am ah right?”

“Don’t sweat it,” Chris said while dusting his chest off and picking himself up from the ground. “Can’t blame you for protecting your own.”

Applejack nodded while taking in Chris’s full appearance. “Watcha standin' on yer hind hooves like that fer?”

Chris looked down at his feet. “Sorry, I don’t have hooves, and humans are bipeds, we walk upright.”

“Human, I thought you called yourself a people,” Scootaloo interjected.

“Yes, a human is a person and people is plural for person,” Chris explained to the young pegasus.

“Oh, I see,” Scootaloo said, although her expression gave away that she didn’t really get it.

“So, how’d exactly did yah get here if yah think this is an alternate earth or whatever?” Applejack pried. “Use magic or something?”

Chris shook his head. “No, truth be told I really don’t know how I got here, but it might have to do with a weird bird.”

“Ah bird yah say?” Applejack mused out loud. “Don’t know any bird that could ah done that.”

Chris frowned. “Never mind that, I could really use some help getting back, so I’d like to talk with these unicorns as soon as possible.”

“If by unicorn’s yah mean Twilight and Rarity, I’m sorry to tell yah but Twi left for Canterlot this mornin',” Applejack said. “Something 'bout the Princess needing her help. And ah don’t know how helpful Rarity would be, she really don’t use her magic outside of looking fer gems and making fancy stuff.”

Chris sighed. “Could you bring her anyway, she’s the only shot I’ve got right now.”

Applejack looked to the crusaders. “You girls go an' fetch Rarity will yah? I’ll keep our friend company in the meantime.”

The three crusaders nodded in affirmation before galloping off to complete their task.

When the three fillies were out of sight, Applejack turned her attention back to Chris. “So, uh, partner, you’ve got ah name?”

“It’s Chris,” he said dryly.

“Well, I’m Applejack,” she spoke a great deal more cheerfully, giving her Stetson a tilt in Chris’s direction. “Nice to meet yah,” she concluded with an outstretched hoof.

Chris looked at the offered hoof for a moment before awkwardly grabbing it in his own hand. He had to admit he was surprised that talking ponies greeted one another in the same manner as humans.

Giving Applejack a firm shake Chris held her hoof longer than he should have, considering Applejack was now staring at him with a slight grin.

“Yah gonna let go sugar cube?” she asked.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just that your hoof feels a lot different than I expected,” Chris explained. “Not hard and rough like a norm… ah, pony where I come from. Yours is soft and smooth, no harder than a balled up fist,” Chris concluded.

“Yah sayin I got soft hooves?” Applejack said not sounding thrilled about that prospect at all.

“Well, I don’t know by your standards, but where I come from yours are way softer than the ponies there,” Chris reasoned not entirely sure if he were offending the orange pony.

“Ponies must be made of tough stuff in your world huh? Ah mean I’ve been told I’ve got the toughest hooves around these here parts, “Applejack said, “but that’s a good thing, I’m a working pony after all, need tough hooves to buck trees.”

“You buck trees?” Chris says. “What for?” he added.

“To collect apples ah course,” Applejack said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Mah family owns Sweet Apple Acres after all."

Chris figured that perhaps he should have been able to piece that together, considering they were in an apple orchard, her name was Applejack and she even had three apples tattooed on both sides of her rear.

‘But to simply kick apples out of trees, that would require freakish strength,’ Chris assessed. ‘No wonder she was able to pin me down so easy, despite me being bigger than she is.’

“I see,” Chris said, as he pulled out his notepad and pen. The paper was rough and crinkled from having gotten wet the previous day, but was still usable.

“Watcha doin?” Applejack pried while observing the human with a raised brow.

“Just taking some notes,” Chris replied. “The differences between you and ponies where I come from are like night and day.”

“What’s so different?” Applejack asked curiously.

“They can’t talk,” Chris said bluntly wanting to keep his answer straight and to the point.

“Can’t talk yah say? That’s kinda ah weird,” Applejack said.

“It’s not that weird considering ponies are just animals back home,” Chris said to a now flabbergasted Applejack. “They can’t talk, they have limited intelligence and pretty much run off basic instincts like most animals.”

“You’re only similar to them at the most basic of levels, mostly being body structure,” Chris continued. “But even there you differ. Your head is well…kind of large in compassion to your body and your eyes are situated on the center of your face and not the sides,” Chris said, as he knelt down to eye level with Applejack.

“Your muzzle protrudes about one fourth as much as that of a pony's from my home. And add to that, you’re a decent bit smaller and let's not even get started on the coloring of your coats.”

Applejack just stared at Chris with a lost expression on her face. “Well, they don’t sound much like ponies to me.”

“I’m sure they don’t,” Chris agreed while pulling out his Iphone and staring at the battery life. “Half life left,” He stated before taking a quick picture of Applejack.

After a few minutes passed by in silence between the two Chris spoke up.

“So, uh, are ponies the only intelligent life here, or are there other species?” Chris asked feeling slightly awkward with asking the question.

“Well, no. There’s other smart folk out there too, like cows, buffalo, and mules, but Equestria is mostly inhabited by ponies,“ Applejack explained. “I dunno much about outside of Equestria, but ah do know the griffons have an empire of their own and so do the minotaurs."

“This is too much,” Chris said. “How can a world like this actually be real?”

“Is it all that much different than yer own?”Applejack asked.

“Yeah, it is,” Chris says simply.

“Well, cheer up sugar cube, even if ol' Rarity can’t help yah, I’m sure the princesses could,” Applejack consoled. “Their magic is the strongest after all.”

“I don’t know how eager I am to meet the ones in power,” Chris shot back. “That’s the quickest way to find myself a cell, or worse on a table.”

“Nah, the princesses ain’t like that,” Applejack argued. “They’re way kind and would help anypony that needed it.”

Chris merely stared at Applejack with a raised brow.

“Well, you know what ah mean,” Applejack said with a bashful smile.

A few moments later Chris and Applejack could hear voices coming from a short distance away. The crusaders had returned with Rarity in tow.

“Okay, yah gotta promise not to freak out when yah see him,” Apple Bloom said to Rarity.

“Oh, dear Apple Bloom, you’ve told me this again and again,” Rarity noted. “Besides a lady does not freak out, I’m sure I’ll maintain my composure no matter how your new friend appears.”

“Well, alright,” Apple Bloom conceded. “But yah been warned,” she added while moving a bush aside and walking through, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Chris watched as the crusaders came into view followed by a pristine white unicorn with a very stylized purple mane.

‘This is one high maintenance looking pony.’ Chris mused to himself. ‘She’s got her nose held so high, if it rained she’d drown.’

‘I must do my absolute best to show my poise and refinement, first impressions are key after all.’ Rarity thought to herself as she walked with her nose held high and eyes shut. Stopping just in front of Chris Rarity opened her eyes and began to speak but found her voice stuck in her throat.

“I…I..I…” Rarity stuttered. “Sweet heavens whaaaat is that!?” she screamed before passing out on the ground.

“Hoho, that’s Rarity for yah, always ah drama queen,” Applejack said with a shake of her head.

Chris could only stare at the scene with a bewildered expression.

Meanwhile

A purple unicorn was rereading the letter Princess Celestia had sent her the previous night for the tenth time. It wasn’t very formal, but it sounded urgent.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student,” the letter read. “Please try and forgive my abruptness, but I request a meeting with you immediately. There are matters that I can not divulge, even via a letter. I promise you that this is of the utmost importance. I have made arrangements for your departure first thing in the morning. You may bring company if you so choose, but do try and keep the number of guests limited.

Princess Celestia”

“So, how many times are you gonna read that, Twi?” a small purple dragon, sitting next to her in the carriage they were in, questioned. “I doubt whatever it says is going to change.”

Twilight gave the small dragon a stare that silenced him immediately. “I can’t help it Spike, Princess Celestia has never requested to see me with little detail as to why.”

“Oh, Twilight,” a rather obnoxious looking pink pony interrupted. “The Princess is probably just throwing you a surprise party!”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s what it is Pinkie,” Twilight countered, being reminded that Pinkie Pie was the only one of her friends that could accompany her on such short notice.

“Well, you are a super powerful unicorn,” Spike said. “Maybe the Princess needs your help with a spell or something.”

“What could I possibly do that Princess Celestia or Princess Luna couldn’t?” Twilight challenged. “It has to be something else.”

Pinkie Pie was suddenly wearing a deerstalker hat, along with a pipe that blew bubbles. “Well, there’s only one pony who can solve this mystery, and that’s me Sherhooves Pinkie.”

“Uh, it’s more of a wait and find out kind of thing, rather than a mystery,” Spike said. “Twi just needs to be patient.”

“Boooring,” Pinkie droned. “What pony wants to wait when we can find out now?” Pinkie questioned as she pulled out a magnifying glass and began to pace back and forth in the carriage, looking for nonexistent clues.

“Oh, Pinkie,” Twilight muttered with a smile, as she went to stare out the window in the direction of Canterlot. “I wonder what this urgent matter really is about.”

Hey guys Sonson21 here I hope you guys are enjoying the story still. As you’ve read the chapter was primarily about Chris since Keon was the focal point in the last chapter. Anyway I’ll catch you with the next update until then later.

Chapter 5: Too Nice

Chapter 5: Too Nice

Rarity’s eyes fluttered open, and she stood up from her propped up position against a tree with a start. “Oh, heavens, I’ve just had the most awful dream,” she said while taking in her surroundings. She noted all three crusaders were there, along with Applejack and they were simply staring at her.

“You had a bad dream sis?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Why, yes, Sweetie Belle, in fact you were there along with your friends and Applejack,” Rarity answered. “But there was this ghastly creature that stood on two hooves with you and its ensemble was in tatters; oh, it was just the worst possible thing.”

“Well, don’t we got ah story fer yah,” Applejack said. “Honey, yah weren’t dreamin',” she affirmed, while pointing a hoof in the direction towards where Chris was currently sitting with a calculating expression plastered on his face.

Rarity’s eyes widened in fear as she observed the being no more than ten feet away from her.
.
Seeing that Rarity had finally woken up Chris gave her a curt nod in acknowledgement. “Sorry I scared you half to death,” Chris said but kept his distance and stayed seated. He figured that Rarity would be less intimidated by him if he stayed at a height that was closer to eye level with her.

“You can talk!?” Rarity shouted, on the verge of fainting once more.

“Oh, calm down and stop actin' like ah drama queen,” Applejack said. “So the critter's weird, no need to get yer mane in ah knot over it.”

“Hmph,” Rarity snorted. “I’m perfectly calm; I was just caught by surprise is all.”

“No, you totally freaked out,” Scootaloo countered. “I mean, I was scared at first too, but I didn’t pass out over it.”

“Yeah, that’s gosh darn embarrassin',” Apple Bloom added with a chuckle.

“Hey, don’t tease her,” Sweetie Belle defended. “Even if it was kinda funny,” she said with a giggle of her own.

Rarity gave Sweetie Belle a stern stare that silenced her giggling before turning back to Chris. “So…um good…sir the girls here informed me you requested an audience with me,” Rarity inquired quit nervously.

Chris nodded. “If it’s not too much trouble, I could use your help.”

“But of course, how may I be of assistance, pray tell?” Rarity asked with a bit more confidence.

“I heard you can perform magic, I was hoping you’d be able to send me back to where I came from,” Chris said.

Rarity could only stare at Chris in confusion before letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m ever so sorry dear, but magic was never quite my talent,” Rarity replied. “Well, not to say that I’m not proficient with magic by any means, but what you’re requesting is not my forte. I don’t possess the know how to transport you ten yards, let alone…wherever it is you come from,” Rarity concluded.

Chris face had become crestfallen at the news while the others could only look at him with pity.

“Ah told ya Rarity wouldn’t be much ah any help,” Applejack broke in.

“Well, forgive me for not studying how to transport foreign beings back to their homeland,” Rarity barked back. “I’m a clothing designer, not a magic scholar. Besides, couldn’t you simply use your brawn to cart him back to wherever it is he needs to go?” Rarity said with a glare for good measure.

“This feller says he’s from ah different world,” Applejack says while shoving her face dangerously close to Rarity’s. “Yah expecting me to hook up ah wagon and cart him all the way there?”

Rarity began to retort but stopped at the realization with what Applejack had said. “A different world you say?” Rarity repeated while turning her attention back to Chris who for the most part was simply watching the two bicker.

“So, that would explain his strange choice of attire,” Rarity assessed. “Darling, please allow me to make you something far more fetching.”

Applejack could only shake her head at the fashionista. “Poor Chris is stuck here in Equestria and all yah can think about is what kinda ah clothes he’s got on his back.”

“Well, what?” Rarity replied innocently.”I haven’t the slightest idea of how to return him home, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help him look absolutely fabulous while he’s here.”

Seeing that Applejack was ready to berate the unicorn once more Chris faked a cough to get their attention.

“Yes, is something wrong darling?” Rarity questioned.

‘Yeah, I’m stuck in a world with talking ponies,’ is what Chris would have liked to have said, but reframed from doing so. “Look, are there any more ponies that could maybe help with my situation?”

Rarity thought for a moment before answering. “Twilight is absolutely splendid in the art of magic, but what you’re asking for may be impossible, even for her,” Rarity said in a professional manner. “I may not have been the studios type, but I do know planetary transportation is an impossible feat for a pony to perform.”

“But what about Princess Celestia being able to seal Nightmare Moon into the moon?” Sweetie Belle chimed in.

“In retrospect the moon isn’t that far off,” Rarity said. “Besides, Princess Celestia required the Elements of Harmony to do so,” Rarity concluded as she gave a thoughtful look to Chris. “Say, why don’t you simply return in the same manner you arrived?”

Chris sighed at the suggestion. “Truth be told, the way I arrived here is still unclear, and whether I’m on a new planet or in another dimension I can’t say for sure either. Long story short, I don’t think I’m taking the same bus back.”

“Beg pardon, what’s a bus?” Rarity inquired with a confused expression on her face.

“Nothing, just forget I even mentioned it,” Chris answered with a sigh. “Anyway, it sounds like I don’t have any options but to wait for this Twilight.”

“It's unfortunate darling, but I’m afraid there’s a chance you could be waiting for Twilight for quite some time,” Rarity explained. “The dear arrived at my boutique before the sun had even risen. She was going on about an urgent summoning from the Princess, so she may very well be busy for a while still,” Rarity concluded.

“Yah know, I’m ah starting to wonder about this urgent meeting with the Princess an' all,” Applejack said. “Ah mean, especially with somethin like you showin up all of ah sudden. Who knows, maybe more like yah have been popping up around here?” Applejack concluded.

Chris’s eyes had widened at Applejacks assessment. “Holy shit, Keon!?” Chris suddenly shouted causing the five ponies to jump in surprise.

Meanwhile

Keon took the clothes that were being floated over to him courtesy of Luna with enthusiasm. He had spent a full day by now in nothing more than a hospital gown and the draft had been grating on his nerves.

“You seem pleased to have those back,” Luna observed with a thoughtful expression. “Is it merely personal preference to constantly be clothed or do all humans practice such behavior?”

“It’s a social norm that’s been a part of human culture for centuries,” Keon said while sliding on his boxers, not giving too much thought at being stared at by ponies of royalty as he did so. “There are cultures that are less modest about it, but it's mostly humans that still live in tribes and what not. Otherwise public nudity is generally frowned upon.”

“Interesting,” Celestia added in. “What could have sparked such beliefs into your species to consider nudity an act of indecency?”

“Could be because our genitals are in plain sight unlike most animals,” Keon said with a shrug. “I’m pretty sure you noticed I didn’t have a sheath to hide my custard thrower in, unlike the stallion guards around here,” Keon finished wittily.

“Oh my,” Celestia said with a slight blush, while Luna had to suppress a chuckle.

“But if you’re looking for a more reasonable answer, it probably has more do to with the tendency humans have to populate areas they aren’t naturally from,” Keon reasoned. “Clothing helps humans stay in all sorts of different climates and environments and provide protection for our relatively fragile bodies.”

“I see,” Celestia replied with a nod of understanding.

“To be honest, I’m more surprised to see you aren’t wearing clothes,” Keon continued. “I’d assume any being that reached a certain level of intellect would naturally want to start covering up their privates. I mean, not to sound forward or anything, but doesn’t it bother you that anyone could sneak a peak at your royal snatch?”

Both Princesses had a look of bewilderment etched on their faces.

“For what reason would anypony want to stare at that area?” Luna questioned.

“Huh?” Keon replied dumbly. “Because that’s what perverts do. Not to mention you two are Princesses, so I can only assume you’re attractive to other ponies,” Keon concluded while zipping up his olive colored hoodie half way. “But you are ponies after all, I suppose males here are only sexually stimulated when you’re in heat,” Keon thought out loud, but not missing the bemused expressions on either Princess’s face. “But perhaps we could save such vulgar chat for once we’ve gotten to know each other a little better.”

“Yes,” Celestia agreed. “It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with speaking about such matters, I just believe that starting with smaller things will be best.”

Keon simply shrugged. “I already said you call the shots.”

“Excellent then,” Celestia says while walking towards the door followed by Luna. “Mr. Keon please accompany Luna and me to your new living quarters.”

Keon casually stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed after his two escorts.

For the most part they walked in silence, while Keon quietly observed the surrounding décor. The ceiling was incredibly high and the walls were made of what he guessed to be granite or marble. Either way, whoever built the place spared no expense even on the minutest of things. Such as the carpet they were currently treading on, considering it gave off a distinctive velvet feel underneath Keon’s feet. And he could tell that the drapes that hung from nearby windows were probably made of fine silk.

Keon also took note of the golden statues that adorned the hallway they were making their way through.

“Quite a lavish place yah got here,” Keon suddenly said with a whistle to add emphasize.

Happy to make conversation and spread some light on where exactly he was, Celestia responded. “Yes, I suppose lavish would be an appropriate assessment. I’ve always considered this castle to be a little too much, but I have little say considering this castle was here even before Luna and my reign began.”

“You make it sound old or something,” Keon said. “I mean neither of you look a day over twenty, but then again twenty for a pony is pretty damn old. So, I guess maybe ten, wait never mind I don’t know how long ponies live for here,” he added matter-of-factly.

“I’m flattered, seems time has been kind to me after all,” Celestia spoke with an amused smile. “But we are over one hundred times that of twenty.”

“Huh?” was all Keon could manage, apart from a stupefied expression.

“Well, technically speaking I’m only one thousand and twenty five years old.” Luna interjected. “In my one thousand year imprisonment in the moon I had no physical form that could age. I was merely a presence there.”

“Wait, what? How can you live that long? Are you immortal, and what’s this about the moon again?” Keon asked in an attempt to make sense of what either Princess had said.

“No, we aren’t immortal per se, but Alicorns do have longevity,” Celestia explained. “An Alicorn’s life span is determined by how great one’s magical reservoir is. As for the moon…well,” Celestia spoke with a slight glance in Luna’s direction. “That’s a story for another time.”

“It’s not as if everypony doesn’t already know the tale of Nightmare Moon,” Luna said with a shrug. “You don’t have to tip hoof around it for my sake.”

“It’s fine if it’s a touchy subject, I doubt I really need to know,” Keon said. “But there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask the two of you.”

“And what is that?” Luna inquired.

“Where the hell is everyone?” Keon asked bluntly. “We’ve been walking these halls for over ten minutes, I thought a castle would have had plenty of guards and staff running around.”

“The corridors we’ve chosen have all been cleared for this very reason,” Celestia answered. “It’s still too early to let just anypony see you, after all. Although I have arranged for a very special guest to join us today.”

“Special huh, is it some kind scientist or something?” Keon asked. “Someone to help you figure out just what in the hell I am?”

“Uh, no, Mr. Keon, I’d like to keep you as comfortable as possible,” Celestia said. “A bunch of ponies in lab coats would probably be unsettling for you. I have in fact sent for my most faithful student, she’s a brilliant mind and I’m positive she would love to learn all about you and your world.”

“So, she’s the brainy type?” Keon pressed. “But still, I don’t get it, why send for her?”

“To be fair, you’ve only had the chance to converse with Luna and myself,” Celestia answered. “I’d like to give you the opportunity to congregate with a pony that better represents the general populace of ponykind.”

“Makes sense,” Keon agreed with a shrug as they stopped in front of two large polished wooden doors.

“This is where you’ll be staying,” Luna said as her horn glowed and the two large wooden doors flung open and they stepped inside.

“Whoa,” Keon muttered, as he took in the room. “This is like some five star hotel or something,” he commented. The floor itself was made completely of marble, while the dressers and writing desk where made of fine, polished, red wood. There was also a large circular bed in the middle of the room, with half a dozen plush pillows situated atop it. The comforter was thick and looked extremely comfortable. He also took note of an impressive chandelier right above the bed.

“So, it’s to your liking then?” Luna questioned hopefully.

“I can’t complain. I’ve never stayed in a place this fancy,” Keon admitted.

“You’ll also find a bathroom beyond that door,” Celestia added gesturing to a large oak door towards the corner. “It has a shower, bathtub and is fully stocked with an assortment of soaps and all the basic amenities.”

Keon let out a long winded sigh at the two Princesses. “I just don’t understand you two.”

“Have we done something that confuses you?” Luna asked. “If you’d rather stay somewhere else I’m sure we could accom…”

Keon choose that moment to cut Luna off. “That’s just it, why are you being so accommodating to me?” he questioned with genuine confusion. “All of this,” he gestured to the room around them. “It’s so much. I just don’t get it, how can you be so…nice?”

Celestia smiled. “It’s in our nature,” she said. “If you would prefer a more text book explanation, I suppose it’s because you’re effectively an ambassador of your entire world now.”

Keon frowned. “I guess I hadn’t thought about it that much,” he admitted. “But I’m not really the diplomat type, if my swearing around you is any indication.”

“I assure you it’s quite alright, as far a we know, the way you speak is simply part of human nature,” Luna said. “Besides, it’s not as if there’s any other candidates for your position.”

“Got me there,” Keon says as he walked around the room a bit, before taking note of his backpack. “You know, it’s a shame that out of all seven billion or so people that could have ended up here, it had to be me.” Keon started to monologue. “I mean, seriously, you could have ended up with someone who could have offered you a lot more than I could. Maybe an electrical engineer, astrophysicist, historian, hell, even an auto worker would have been more useful,” Keon concluded, as he landed on the bed with a thump.

“Everypony has what they’re good at,” Celestia tried “Do not fault yourself for not being any of those things you named"

“Kind of hard not to when you find yourself on an alien planet with not much to offer in return for their horsepitality,” Keon supplied with a chuckle at his pitiable pun.

Celestia quirked her brow.

“Sorry, I noticed you two have been using pony puns, like saying everypony and anypony, not to mention the name of this land is Equestria,” Keon explained.

Both Princesses shared a look of confusion among each other that Keon didn't miss.

“Oops, I guess that wouldn’t really be a pun here, go figure,” Keon reasoned with a simple shrug. “But anyway, when is my new pony friend due to arrive?”

“Oh my, I had almost forgotten,” Celestia admitted, as she turned her attention towards the window. “I expect she should be well within the city by now, I shall go and meet her,” Celestia says while turning her attention to Luna. “Luna, will you be staying?”

Luna nodded. “I think I’ll stay and entertain our guest.”

Celestia simply smiled as she made her way towards the door. “I shall return shortly.”

After Celestia had gone Keon turned his attention to Luna, who had now taken a sitting position on her haunches a yard or so from him.

“Can I get you anything, tea perhaps?” Luna suddenly offered.

“Uh, no, I’m good.” Keon waved the offer away as he stared at the lunar princess curiously. “Can I ask you something?”
Luna perked up. “But of course, I’m sure you have plenty of questions.”

Keon swallowed the lump in his throat. “Well, not to sound rude or anything, but don’t you two have, you know, royal duties and what not? Should you really be cooped up in here with me?”

“Does my presence bother you?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No-no, it’s nothing like that,” Keon hurriedly stammered.

Luna merely chuckled. “It’s okay. I fully understand. As for your answer, I myself hold all my courts during the night hours. During the daytime I have few obligations.”

“Well, that actually makes me feel worse,” Keon said with a bashful grin. “I’m cutting in on your beauty sleep, or at least sucking up all your free time.”

“I assure you, it's fine Mr. Keon.” Luna said, “I have more than enough power to stave off fatigue, if I so chose. Besides, my free time has been quite dull since my return from banishment, unfortunately.”

“So, you did something nasty huh?” Keon questioned.

“Would you like to hear the story?” Luna offered casually.

“Not like I have anything better to do,” Keon said.

Meanwhile

Celestia smiled as her student came trotting up towards her with an excited expression displayed across her face.
“Princess, it’s so good to see you,” Twilight greeted as Celestia gave her a nuzzle.

“As I you, my faithful student,” Celestia said before turning her attention towards Twilight’s two guest. “Greetings Pinkie Pie, Spike, I’m grateful you could join us today.”

“I wouldn’t miss this party for all the cupcakes in the world!” Pinkie responded only getting a confused smile from Celestia in return.

“Sorry, Pinkie somehow came to the conclusion you are throwing a party for Twilight,” Spike explained. “Best not to think too much on it,” he added.

“I see,” Celestia replied, clearly amused at the idea. “Shall I show you the reason I’ve brought you here then?” Celestia offered.

All three nodded in unison.

Elsewhere

“Wow, that’s pretty nuts,” Keon mused as he let the story Luna had recited to him sink in. “I could certainly sympathize with you, but some creatures just aren’t programmed to function during the night, surely you realized that. Which makes me question how much of your plan you really thought out, even in this twisted persona as Nightmare Moon. I mean, without the sun all your plants and crops would die, leaving the world a pretty cold and barren place. It wouldn’t be long after that before everything else would begin to die, including your subjects that you wanted to appreciate your nights.”

“My rage clouded my judgment,” was Luna’s only reply.

“I’m not going to judge you on your past sins,” Keon stated simply. “It’s not like I’m some upstanding citizen. I’ve been smoking weed since sophomore year in high school, and drinking since I was seventeen. Both of those things are illegal where I come from, but me and my friends couldn’t have given two shits.”

“I really don’t understand the concept of smoking weeds,” Luna said.

"I think you maybe under the impression that I'm talking about actual weeds." Keon says as he made his way over towards his back pack and picking it up. "Remember that sack of grass you said you found when you were looking through my shit?" Keon asked getting a simple nod from Luna in response.

Unzipping his back pack he rummaged though it until his hand emerged with a rolled up zip lock bag."Luna Meet Mr. four twenty." Keon said as he chuckled like an idiot. The mere thought of explaining weed to a pony was just too humorous for him. Taking back his seat on the bed in front of Luna he began to explain.

"What you're looking at right here is what we call marijuana, it's the name for the cannabis plant once you've prepped it for its intended use." Keon explained to Luna who seemed to be quite intrigued.

"What are it's intended uses?" She asked curiously while scrutinizing the bag under her gaze.

"Well it has some medical purposes, but a lot of people use it as a recreational drug." Keon said. "Basically it's an experience enhancer for some, others use it to relax and just chill."

"It doesn't sound so bad." Luna said. "We use some plants as calming agents as well as pain reducers. "Why is this a forbidden substance on your world."

"It's not forbidden everywhere" Keon explained. "All countries have their own rules regarding it. It just so happens using it where I'm from isn't legal. I guess with it having mind altering proprieties don't sit too well with the guys who make the rules." Keon finished with his brief run down.

"I understand" Luna says “But I still find myself confused as to why you aren't allowed to drink? Surely your species need liquids to survive.”

Keon scratched his chin hairs thoughtfully. “Sorry I was being vague when I said that, for drinking I mean alcohol, you can’t legally drink those types of beverages until you're twenty one."

“I see,” Luna said. “Ponies in this day and age generally shy away from alcohol, but the griffins commonly indulge in drinking. Minotaurs absolutely love the stuff.”

Keon’s eyes were wide at the statement. “Are you saying you have griffins and minotaurs here?”

“Yes,” Luna answered. “Are you implying you have them as well? Your response suggest you know what I’m referring too.”
Keon took a moment to find his voice before speaking. “Well, no, we don’t have them, but we have the idea of them. They're just myths, ancient legends with no real backing. You read about them in books and see them in the occasional movie or video game.”

“That’s curious; I can’t say we have anything like you in our legends,” Luna replied. “Well, at least in ponykind legends. I suppose the griffins, zebras, or minotaurs may have the idea of humans buried in their ancient lore.”

“Wow, this is really starting to get heavy,” Keon said, as he tried to process the vast amount of information swarming through his mind. “So, ponies, griffins, minotaurs, and I guess zebras are all sentient beings here?”

Luna nodded. “Yes, along with Cows, Donkeys, Mules, Goats, Buffalo, Antelope, Deer, Dragons, Sea Serpents, Changlings, Diamond Dogs, and the occasional hippogriff.”

“That’s a pretty random assortment,” Keon mused thoughtfully. “But why only an occasional hippogriff, and did you just say dragon?”

Luna sighed. “Their numbers have always been bleakly low, due to the fact of how they were first conceived.”

“I’m guessing a griffin and pony decided to consummate their marriage,” Keon joked.

“That’s actually correct,” Luna confirmed.

‘Wait, she’s for real?’ Keon thought to himself. ‘It should be biologically impossible for something like that to even work. But then again, none of this shit makes any sense.’

“Griffins and ponies haven’t always been on the friendliest of terms with one another,” Luna continued her explanation. “Even so, some relationships between griffins and ponies have worked out, resulting in the few hippogriffs that inhabit this world.”

“Is that frowned upon here, I mean interspecies relationships?” Keon asked curiously.

Luna took a moment to think on her answer. “I would say the short and long of it is this, there are those that have an open mind and there are those that are not so accepting.”

“I get that, sort of at least,” Keon said. “Humans are the only sentient beings on my world, but we still have different races. Some people aren’t too fond of interracial couples, or homosexual couples either. But there’s enough open minded people, or people who simply don’t care, that it happens pretty often.”

“Your world sounds like an interesting place,” Luna stated.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Keon responded as a tapping on his door caught his and Luna’s attention, and the door opened.

“I have returned,” Celestia spoke as she strolled in with three ponies following behind her.

Before Keon could properly get a view of who Celestia had brought in with her, he found himself literally nose to nose with a bright pink pony with an obnoxiously puffy, dark pink mane.

Her large blue eyes stared into Keon’s brown ones for a moment, before she shouted, “Hiiiiiii!!!!!!”

Hey guys a little news to report here. I’ll probably only be able to update this story once a month since I have another story I’m working on, on the side. Don’t worry though because I won’t be posting that story until this one is finished. So the bulk of my attention is still here. I’d say this story will probably only be around twelve chapters so we’re moving along quit nicely. Also I would like to suggest you read a pretty good story I came across recently. It’s a HiE and since you’re reading my story I expect you like these sort of stories. Anyway it’s called What Came Before and Beyond by Squid-Hoof. Great story and you won’t regret reading it, or maybe you will I don’t know. Well until my next chapter I bid you adieu.

Chapter 7: Eon Master of Space and Time

Chapter 7: Eon Master of Space and Time

“You can speak!?” Fluttershy gasped in surprise. “…But I don’t understand, primates can’t speak, though I’ve never seen one exactly like you.”

“I take it you’re the resident animal caretaker then?” Chris asked, although he already knew the answer to that. “You had me profiled as a primate pretty quickly. I guess you really know your stuff,” Chris said with obvious admiration for Fluttershy in his tone.

Fluttershy nodded excitedly. “I have many animal friends, but I’m really just an amateur when it comes to caretaking. I’ve never had any real schooling for it.”

“Well, you must have a natural talent then,” Chris said. “I mean, if the state of the animals around here is anything to go by.”
Fluttershy looked down in embarrassment at the praise. “Well…I do what I can,” she said softly.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash couldn’t wipe the stupefied expression off of her face as Fluttershy and Chris conversed with one another.

“Hey, since when did Fluttershy become so…not shy?” she asked no pony in particular. “She can hardly look another pony in the eye when she’s speaking, but here she is, talking to this alien like it’s nothing.”

“I’m guessin he probably jus' looks like ah big ol' shaved monkey to Fluttershy,” Applejack said. “She’s shyer 'round other ponies than animals after all.”

“I guess you’re right,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “It must be like if one of her pets learned to talk or something. Is that why you brought this guy here?” she asked.

“We brought him here so 'Shy could fix up his injuries,” Applejack answered. “Or have yah not noticed how roughed up he is?”

Rainbow Dash narrowed her vision towards Chris before her eyes widened slightly. “Gross, I didn’t even notice how banged up he was. He get his flank kicked by a minotaur or something?”

“I couldn’t tell yah how he got in that state,” Applejack said. “We ain’t really heard all the details of his story jus' yet,” she concluded.

“So, let me get this straight: You guys are hanging around with an alien that you don’t know anything about?” Rainbow Dash asked sounding somewhat surprised.

“I reckon that’s the short of it,” Applejack said.

“Wow, that seems pretty… stupid of you guys,” Rainbow Dash said with a smug expression. “I mean, what if he was dangerous and tried to eat somepony?”

“Hey, we found him.” Sweetie Belle cut in. “And he didn’t try to hurt any of us, that’s how we know.”

Applejack nodded in agreement with Sweetie Belle. “'Sides that, I felt Ah could trust him.”

Rainbow Dash simply shook her head as she went back to observing Fluttershy, who had now returned to inspecting Chris’s injuries.

“I’ll have to clean these before I bandage them,” Fluttershy said to Chris, as she began leading him towards her cottage with Rarity following along. “And that gash on your head will need a couple of stitches, um, if that’s okay with you, I mean.”

Chris instinctively reached for his forehead and winced in pain. “Damn, I had forgot about that.” Chris groaned. “You sure you can handle something like stitches?” Chris asked, unsure of how the process would go, factoring in that Fluttershy had hooves instead of hands.

“Don’t worry, I’ve done this plenty of times for animals that have come to me injured,” Fluttershy tried to assure her skeptic patient.

“Well, if you’re confident then,” Chris said with a look or resignation.

When they arrived inside of Fluttershy’s home, Chris was directed to take a seat on a decent sized chair by Fluttershy, before she went off to fetch the supplies she would need.

Chris used that moment to take in Fluttershy’s place. He couldn’t help but notice the striking similarities to a human home. In the living room where he sat there was a modest size couch, where Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash had taken residence. Situated right in front of said couch, was a small coffee table. Looking to his left, he could make out a kitchen area with, what he assumed was, a gas stove. Aside from that, the kitchen was completed with a small round table with two chairs and several cupboards.

‘I wonder if they have indoor plumbing,’ Chris mused, just as he felt a small weight land on his lap. Looking down at what had caused it, he smiled at a white rabbit that was looking at him with curious eyes.

“What’s up little buddy?” Chris said, as he made to scratch the bunny on top of its head. The rabbit seemed to appreciate the gesture and allowed Chris to continue. “I take it you’re one of Fluttershy’s friends then?” Chris asked offhandedly, but to his surprise the rabbit actually nodded a yes in response. “Well, that was unexpected,” was all Chris could manage to say, just as Fluttershy came trotting back into the room with a medical box held between her teeth.

Setting the case down, Fluttershy gave the rabbit what she believed to be a stern look. “Angel, you weren’t bothering our guest, were you?”

Angel shook his head before jumping out of Chris’s lap and bounding away.

“He wasn’t a bother, was he?” Fluttershy asked, while she began opening up the case and pulling out a bottle of alcohol, gauze, bandages, surgical sutures, and scissors.

Chris eyed the bottle of alcohol nervously, as he watched Fluttershy bite down on the cap and pull it off.

Fluttershy was able to catch the look on Chris’s face and gave him a soft look in understanding. “I’m so sorry, I’ve run out of peroxide, but we could always use soap and water…”

Chris shook his head while observing some cuts that were already showing the first signs of infection. “I know that stuff is going to kill, but water isn’t really going to help at this point,” Chris reasoned, more with himself than with Fluttershy. “Let’s just get this over with," he said, as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing more scrapes and cuts on his body.

“Good heavens, just how did you get all of those?” Rarity suddenly spoke up from her position on the couch.

“Before I got here, I took a nasty fall down a hill and dropped into a twenty foot deep pit,” Chris said, as he braced himself for the incoming pain that would ensue from alcohol meeting an open wound.

“Are you ready?” Fluttershy asked, as she finished soaking some gauze in the alcohol.

Chris merely nodded and Fluttershy got to work on cleaning off the cuts. Chris couldn’t help but grit his teeth as Fluttershy did her job. ‘Fuck whoever came up with this shit,’ Chris thought irritably to himself.

After Fluttershy had finished, she wrapped the cuts that needed them in bandages and beamed at her hoof work. “Well, that takes care of these ones at least,” she said before eyeing the gash on Chris’s head.

“Um, can you sit on your haunches? I mean, if it’s not too much trouble, that is,” Fluttershy requested while pulling out a pair of tweezers from the medical kit.

Chris pulled himself from the chair and sat cross-legged on the ground, so that Fluttershy could have easy access to his forehead.

“You have some small pieces of gravel stuck in there,” Fluttershy explained. “If it’s okay with you I’ll remove it.”
“You’re the doctor here,” Chris said.

“Okay then,” Fluttershy said, as she picked up the tweezers between her teeth with surprising dexterity. Positioning herself over the wound, she started plucking out the lodged gravel shards from the cut on Chris’s head.

Chris grimaced with every piece of gravel Fluttershy removed, but managed to hold still.

Once she was satisfied, Fluttershy thoroughly cleaned the cut off and Chris actually found himself tearing up from the pain.
“That must really hurt, huh?” Scootaloo asked from the side of Chris.

“It’s not the most pleasant feeling,” Chris answered crossly, as he watched Fluttershy actually pick up the sutures with her teeth. ‘Holy shit, she’s actually going to stitch me up using her mouth.’

“Just try and hold still,” Fluttershy advised, although it sounded more like a mumble with her trying to multitask with her mouth.

Chris didn’t respond, and Fluttershy took that as her cue to start. After going through the skin a few times with the thread and needle, she pulled back on it tightly, closing the cut.

Picking up the small pair of scissors with her teeth, she cut the end of the sutures.

“There, all done,” she said with a content smile.

Chris felt his forehead and moved his fingers across the stitches. “I have to admit, that was pretty impressive, I mean you stitching me up with just your mouth. I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Chris said, fighting back the urge to scratch Fluttershy behind the ears.

“Oh, it was my pleasure; I just couldn’t leave you in that state after all,” Fluttershy said with an ever-present smile.

“Hey, now that you’re all fixed up, let’s hear how you got here,” Rainbow Dash suddenly cut in, as she flew from the couch and landed in between Fluttershy and Chris. “That was the deal, right?”

“You ever hear of the saying 'patience is a virtue'?” Chris asked the overeager pony.

“No,” Rainbow Dash said bluntly. “So, let’s hear it already.”

“You mean, you didn’t come from the Everfree forest?” Fluttershy asked, now even more curious than she had been.

“'Fraid not,” Chris said while taking back his previous seat on the chair, and the remainder of the ponies gathered around to hear him out. “If you could hold off on the questions until after I’m finished, that would be good.”

Getting a few nods of understanding, Chris began.

Elsewhere

Twilight appeared back in Keon’s room with a loud pop. “Sorry that took so long,” she said with a slightly disheveled look. “I had to take a trip to the archives to find this,” she said, as she revealed an old worn book she had been levitating behind her and dropped it on the floor in front of Keon.

“Some dusty old book?” Keon said with a raised eyebrow at the book.

“Not just any old book,” Twilight corrected. The grin she had been wearing earlier had returned in full force, as she opened it and pointed a hoof at a picture. “Tell me, does this look familiar?”

Keon, along with Celestia and Luna, leaned forward to look at the picture Twilight had been pointing to.

Keon’s eyes widened slightly at what he was seeing. “That’s it, that’s the damn bird that brought me here.”
“Twilight Sparkle, how is it that you knew this?” Luna asked.

Twilight beamed something fierce. “I came across this book a long time ago, when I was studying the origins of teleportation,” Twilight began to explain. “According to our history, unicorns learned teleportation by studying these birds, that they came to call EONs.”

Celestia couldn’t help but smile at her studious protégé.

“EON?” Keon repeated the word. “Never heard of it, but it’s kind of cool, it has three-fourths of my name in it.”
“Well, it’s actually short for Euclidean Ornis Neornithes,” Twilight explained.

“So, teleporting bird didn’t sound cool enough?” Keon said with a thoughtful expression.

“Um… I guess not,” Twilight said before continuing where she left off. “EONs were known as masters of space and time. In truth, it was never concluded if they were even from our world or not, because the nature of their ability.”

“'Tia, were you aware of such a species on our world?” Luna asked her elder sister.

Celestia shook her head in response. “This is the first I am hearing of this, as well.”

“All things considered, it’s not really surprising you haven’t,” Twilight reasoned. “The study of EON’s ceased well over two thousand years ago, you were more than likely only a foal back then. And there haven’t been any of them seen in about fifteen hundred years.”

“Fifteen hundred years!?” Keon shouted. “And here I was just thinking I’d go out bag one and ride its ass back home.” Keon groaned in frustration.

“Well, they’re not actually large enough to ride,” Twilight said, apparently having missed the sarcasm in Keon’s voice.

“Besides, if you were brought here by one, that means that they still have to be around, even if no pony has seen one in so long.”

“I’m curious, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna interjected. “Why did the study of such a creature cease?”

“As you can imagine, simply being around them can prove dangerous,” Twilight said while gesturing towards Keon for an example. “Ponies had originally attempted to domesticate them, in order to use them as a means to traverse vast distances. Unfortunately EONs are quite mischievous and would often transport ponies that attempted to tame them to random corners of the world. Some ponies simply never returned,” Twilight added.

“One guess where those unlucky bastards ended up,” Keon quipped.

“More then likely your world, among others,” Twilight reasoned. “If those ruins you spoke of can count as any evidence, I’d say at least a few where brought there.”

“Has anypony ever discerned how their ability works?” Celestia asked.

“It’s not entirely conclusive, more of a theory really,” Twilight said, “but it would seem that they can bend space-time to meet at a single point, joining those two areas, allowing anything to cross over from either side. This would explain why the cavern filled with water,” Twilight said while looking at Keon. “The water that filled that cavern was actually a piece of Equestria joining with your world.”

“As I recall, the guards originally found you floating in the garden’s pond,” Luna confirmed.

“If this is all true, then I am now very curious as to the whereabouts of your friend, the one you mentioned in your tale,” Celestia said. “By all means, he should have arrived here with you, as well, would he not?”

“Damn, you’re right,” Keon agreed. “Where the hell is that bastard?”

Twilight looked thoughtful. “It’s possible he simply didn’t cross over, or perhaps EONs are capable of joining more than two points to one another at a time. But if that’s the case, your friend could very well be anywhere in our world or even in another one.”

“Shit, he could be in some real hellhole right now?” Keon muttered to himself.

“What do you suppose we do about this, 'Tia?” Luna asked flatly. “Our world could prove quite dangerous for somepony that doesn’t know anything about it.”

“I’m afraid I am not entirely sure how to approach this, either,” Celestia said. “The world is vast, and we can’t very well search it in its entirety.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Keon suggested to the two princesses. “My boy Chris can take care of himself just fine, besides he’s not an idiot like me.” Keon feigned a laugh, although the mares could easily see through his mask of optimism.

“I’m truly sorry,” Celestia tried. “If there was anything we could do...”

“I told you, it's cool. I’m not gonna ask you to look for a needle in a haystack on top of the hospitality you’ve already shown me,” Keon argued before taking notice of Pinkie, who had apparently crawled off into a corner with his backpack.

“I knew it was too damn quiet,” Keon said, as he called over to Pinkie. “You know, it’s kind of rude to go through my stuff like I’m not even here.”

Pinkie shifted her body in order to look at Keon. “Sorry, you guys where having so much fun talking about all that boooorrrrriiiinnnnng stuff, I didn’t want to interrupt,” Pinkie explained before holding up a sleek black device in her hooves. “What’s this thing?”

“It’s a netbook,” Keon answered her.

“A book?” Pinkie said with a shrug, as she casually tossed it over her shoulder in disinterest.

“No, damn it!” Keon shouted as he watched his netbook sail through the air.

Luckily for him, it had suddenly become encased in a shroud of purple magic.

“Pinkie, have more respect for another pony's property,” Twilight scolded her pink friend. “Sorry, about that,” Twilight said, as she levitated the netbook towards Keon with a somewhat strained expression.

“Thanks,” Keon said while plucking the device out of the air.

“No problem. Do you think you could show me the contents of that book?” Twilight asked hopefully. “I’d love to read material from a different world.”

Keon found himself laughing at the comment. “You ponies still have a lot to learn, if you think this is an actual book.”
Twilight grinned bashfully. “I guess that’s why it’s so heavy,” she commented.

Keon had a look of confusion on his face while hefting the netbook up and down. “You’re kidding, right? This thing hardly weighs anything.”

“So, it wasn’t just me then.” Luna piped in, earning the attention of the room’s occupants.

“What do you mean, Princess?” Twilight asked.

“When I first demonstrated magic to Mr. Keon, I noticed that he felt oddly heavy as I lifted him,” Luna explained. “In normal circumstances, I can lift a few tons of weight before I even begin to feel any form of resistance. Somepony as small as Mr. Keon shouldn’t have caused even the slightest of strain.”

“Interesting,” Twilight commented to herself thoughtfully. “Do you mind if I perform a quick experiment?” Twilight asked Keon.
“I’m all yours,” Keon said with a shrug.

Twilight nodded, as her horn began to glow and Keon was shrouded in a veil of magic. Twilight actually found herself gritting her teeth, as she struggled with Keon’s weight. With a final push of effort, Twilight was able to lift Keon about a foot off of the ground.

A moment later the magic around Keon dissipated, and he landed back on the ground.

“That’s… impossible.” Twilight panted from the exertion. “I can lift an ursa minor with little difficulty, so why can’t I bear your weight?”

“The fact that Mr.Keon is from a world, one without magic, may have a great deal to do with it,” Celestia reasoned. “I suspect magic affects him, and anything from his world, in an entirely different manner.”

“That’s both fascinating and frightening,” Twilight admitted before shaking away the thoughts and bringing her attention back to the device in Keon’s hand.

Seeing that Twilights attention had now shifted back to his netbook, Keon figured he may as well explain it along with his camera.

“I can tell you’re curious about this little baby,” Keon said while holding up the netbook.

Twilight nodded enthusiastically.

“Yo…uh pink pony.” Keon directed his voice to Pinkie Pie, who had apparently found his spare set of clothes, and was now wearing a black t-shirt with the words "No Bitch Assness" etched on the front of it.

“Yeeesss?” Pinkie said with a wide grin.

Keon couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this pony wearing the shirt. “Pass me my stuff, we’re about to have show and tell,” Keon said after he stopped laughing.

“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said, as she bounded up to Keon and handed him his large backpack. “Here yah go.”

“Thanks,” Keon said, as he scratched Pinkie on top of the head, receiving a giggle from her in response.

Taking his seat back on the bed, Keon looked over his audience. “I’m not entirely sure how technologically advanced this world is, but I have a general idea,” Keon began. “Now, keep in mind, my species may lack magic, but we’re masters of ingenuity. It’s how we became the apex predators of our world, regardless of physical shortcomings,” Keon said as, he opened up the netbook and powered it up.

The mares stared at the device in wonder as it began to light up.

“Give it a moment to boot up,” Keon said while reaching into his backpack and pulling out his camera. Turning it on, he focused the lens on Pinkie. “Say 'cheese'.”

Pinkie happily obliged. “Cheeeese!” she squealed as the camera admitted a bright flash.

Keon nodded approvingly. “What do you think?” Keon asked while showing them the display with a now grinning Pinkie Pie displayed across it.

“It takes photos!?” Twilight said while observing the high res display of Pinkie and clearly being impressed.

“Yeah, along with video,” Keon said while switching the camera to recording mode. “Hey, do something,” he directed Twilight.

“Like what?” Twilight asked uncertainly.

“I don’t know,” Keon said before pointing at Spike. “Make him fly, or something.”

“Okay,” Twilight said as she levitated spike a few feet from the ground. “Sorry about this Spike,” Twilight apologized.

“Happy to be of assistance,” Spike said.

Twilight nodded, as she began making Spike perform acrobatics throughout the room effortlessly. After a moment Twilight set spike back down and he fell to his rump, apparently dizzy from the experience.

“That was awesome,” Keon said, as he made to show them the recording of what had just taken place.

Even Celestia and Luna found themselves now impressed with the device.

“What a splendid creation,” Luna said with a smile. “Imagine all of its potential uses.”

“Yeah, we use video recordings for a shit ton of things back home,” Keon said as he set the camera back down and turned his attention back to his netbook. “Now, on to this,” he said while turning the display, so everyone could view it.

“This netbook is basically just a smaller, cheaper version of a laptop or portable computer,” Keon started his explanation. “They’re pretty much a general purpose device, used for storing data and solving problems. I mostly use mine just to store photos and video. But I’ve got a few other neat little programs on it.”

“It has the ability to problem solve, how so?” Twilight inquired.

Keon scratched his head thoughtfully and thought of a way to demonstrate. “Well, it’s not like I can show you the internet or anything, but lets try this,” Keon said as he clicked on a calculator icon. “Can you multiply large numbers?”

Twilight simply nodded.

“Okay then, how about a little race?” Keon challenged and Twilight happily accepted. Keon turned his attention to Luna. “Mind giving us a large number to multiply?”

“Very well,” Luna replied with an amused smile. “How large of a number?”

“As large as you want,” Keon replied with a shrug of indifference.

“Just a second,” Twilight said as she pulled out a quill and parchment from her saddle bag. “Okay, all ready.”

“Damn, that’s old school,” Keon stated with a smirk at the quill and parchment. “Alright, Luna, let us have it.”

Luna thought on it for a moment before coming up with something. “Alright how about this, ninety three thousand five hundred eight seven times eight thousand four hundred seventy two.”

Twilight hadn’t even finished scribbling the number down before Keon had said “Done.”

“What!?” Twilight spat in surprise. “How can you be done when I haven’t even started?”

“I told you it could problem solve,” Keon said, finding Twilight’s irritation quite humorous.

Twilight scrutinized the large number on the display with a critical eye. “Seven hundred ninety two million eight hundred sixty nine thousand and sixty four? How do I know that’s correct?”

“Finish working it out on that parchment,” Keon answered bluntly.

Twilight grumbled as she got to work on the math problem. After a few minutes Twilight's quill dropped and she resigned herself to her defeat. “It was right.”

“Netbook one, Twilight zero,” Pinkie giggled, getting only an irritated glare from Twilight in response.

“Is there anything else you could demonstrate for us?” Celestia suddenly spoke.

“Well, like I said, I can’t show you the internet, which is the most important and best feature of a computer, but I could show you videos and pictures and whatever else I have stored on here.” Keon offered.

“Internet,” Luna repeated the word. “What does it entail?”

“Think of the internet as an endless library of information that can be accessed with the touch of a button,” Keon said.
“That sounds really useful,” Twilight said, having finally lost her irritation. “Do you think you can show us some of these videos?”

Keon looked at the battery icon with a grimace. “That’s gonna kill the battery, and once that happens this thing will be useless.”

“How do you normally replenish its power?” Luna asked.

“By plugging it up to its charger, but I don’t suppose you guys have working electricity here?” Keon asked, already expecting the answer.

“Of course we do,” Twilight piped in.

“No shit?” Keon said, somewhat in disbelief. “I was expecting to hear that everything was powered by magic around here.”
“Originally, Equestria relied on magic as its main source of power; however, over the years we’ve adopted more modern ways of doing things from neighboring countries,” Celestia explained. “Thanks to the Deer’s resourcefulness, we have a small, yet fully functional electrical grid.”

“Color me impressed,” Keon said with an approving nod. “Well, I guess if my battery life won’t be a problem, I can show you a few things,” Keon confirmed, as he opened up a folder labeled "videos". “But I’ll warn you, I don’t really keep educational shit on here, just mostly my favorite shows and movies.”

Pinkie draped herself over Keon’s shoulder, to better view the display. “What’s South Park?” she asked curiously while pointing a hoof at the name.

“It’s a cartoon with mature humor,” Keon said. “You know: sex, drugs, racism, pretty much everything that’s morally wrong to laugh at.”

“That sounds terrible,” Twilight commented.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not a funny cartoon,” Keon said with a simple shrug.

“A cartoon, what’s a cartoon?” Pinkie asked, feeling oddly intrigued by the word.

“Something I've got the feeling you’re going to love,” Keon said while scrolling down for something that would appeal more to a general public.

“So, what’s Milf buster’s volume three, or Call of Booty?” Pinkie questioned curiously.

“Oops,” Keon muttered as he hastily scrolled past his generous porn collection. “Those are private, better to forget what you saw.”

Pinkie looked at Keon suspiciously for a moment before grinning. “Okie dokie then.”

Sighing to himself for having dodged an embarrassing bullet, he decided to go with the Avengers. He figured they could get a general understanding of what his world was like even though it would be heavily exaggerated.

It had only taken ten minutes for the mares to have become completely transfixed with what they were watching. Pinkie, Spike, and even Luna had exceptionally large grins plastered on their faces as they watched. Celestia and Twilight, on the other hand, appeared to be more fascinated with the amount of technological wonders presented, as opposed to the action.
Once the movie ended each occupant looked as though they had just gotten off a rollercoaster.

“That was…AWESOME!” Pinkie howled in glee. “The way the green meanie smashed all the bad guys!”

“No, that Thor guy was the coolest,” Spike piped in.

“It was quite exhilarating,” Luna added, trying her best to conceal how giddy she felt. “Mr. Fury is an excellent strategist, your world is lucky to have him.”

“Wow, I really had no idea humans where that advanced,” Twilight mused. “I found myself really impressed with Mr. Stark’s genius.”

Meanwhile Celestia was deep in thought. Never throughout her years could she have imagined technology could progress to such a level. The humans truly were masters of ingenuity, she admitted. Overall, she was left with much to consider.

“I take it you guys liked the movie then?” Keon asked absentmindedly.

“It was quite the experience,” Celestia answered. “I was very moved by Captain America, he seems like a human with a very strong sense of justice and honor, not unlike my own guards.”

“Just keep in mind, everything you saw in that movie was all fake, just smoke and mirrors,” Keon said. “We do have most of that stuff, but all the heroes in that movie don’t really exist. And we definitely haven’t faced an alien invasion.”

“But you still have the buildings that reach into the sky, and the four wheeled vehicles and flying machines and…”

Twilight was cut off by Keon, who simply said, “Yes.”

Twilight beamed. “There is just so much I want to know, not just about technology, but humans in general,” Twilight gushed as a quill and parchment found its way in front of her.

“You think Q&A could wait?” Keon pleaded while looking at the parchment. “I’m kind of beat, and I’m damn hungry.”

“Of course, you’ve been more than generous with us,” Celestia said. “We’ll be having dinner shortly, feel free to rest until then,” Celestia offered, as she stood up, followed by Luna. “Luna and I still have preparations to make for the arrival of the ambassadors.”

“Ambassadors?” Keon repeated, making sure he had heard correctly.

“Yes,” Luna confirmed. “We can’t very well keep you secret from the other nations' leaders. If they learned of you without us being the ponies to tell them, distrust would soon ensue afterwards.”

“Who’s all coming to the party?” Keon groaned.

“The griffins, zebras, minotaurs, and Antelope will all be sending ambassadors, while Queen Deerling has chosen to come herself,” Celestia answered.

“Sounds like fun,” Keon quipped sarcastically.

“We’ll leave you to your own devices then.” Celestia bid him farewell, as she Luna, Pinkie, Spike and, reluctantly, Twilight exited out of the room.

Keon waited until they were gone, before he crashed down onto the bed like a ton of bricks. “Jesus, this has been one hell of a ride.” He huffed. ‘I just might be stuck here. After all, it already sounds like they’re trying to weasel me into their damn society with this meeting with these bluebloods,’ Keon thought to himself.

“What’s the point of it all, really? When I’m dead, humanity on this world goes with me.” Sighing to himself, he dug his hand into his pocket and grinned at the bag he pulled out. “Why the fuck not, I’ll probably be the first of anything that’s ever blazed in this castle.” He chuckled.

After Keon rolled what he considered a nice sized joint, he lit it up and laid back down on the bed. “Now, to set the mood,” he said while opening up the iTunes app on his netbook and clicking on his playlist, titled "four twenty". “At least I still got a small piece of home with this.” Keon chuckled, only to be interrupted by a loud.

“Whatcha doing!?”

Having been caught by surprise, Keon coughed up the smoke he was currently holding in his lungs. “Da-Damn it P-Pink pony,” Keon choked out. “What are you doing back here?”

“I was bored, but then I remembered how much fun you are, so here I am,” Pinkie explained.

“Sorry, Pinkie, but this is me and Mary's time right now and we’d like to be alone,” Keon said while gesturing to the jay in his hand.

Pinkie scrutinized the smoldering oddity in Keon’s hand with one bright big blue eye. “Can I try it?”

Keon was taken aback by the question, but remembered that she didn’t even know what the hell it was. “Hell no,” he answered flatly.

“What? Why not, you seemed to be having fun puffing on that,” Pinkie argued the matter. “So, why not let me have fun too?”

“Look, I’m a lot of things, but I’m not about to let some kid…I mean filly get blunted with me,” Keon argued back. “So, just watch some South Park or something on my netbook while I finish this off,” Keon said as he put the joint back in his mouth. "This ain't no candy after all" he finished.

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Keon before shoving her face into his. “Listen here mister, I’m not a filly, I’m a full grown mare that can make decisions for herself, thank you very much.”

Keon peered at Pinkie through half lidded eyes before asking. “How old are you?”

“Twenty,” she answered.

Keon found that strange, considering her personality pointed to her being no older then twelve or thirteen. Shrugging to himself he passed Pinkie the jay. “Remember, you asked.”

Pinkie grinned as she fumbled with the joint in her hooves before finally getting a good grip on it. Pinkie put it to her lips and mimicked what she had seen Keon do. She sucked in and probably inhaled more forcibly than she should have, and was now having a coughing fit.

Keon laughed as he took the joint from Pinkie and patted her on the back to help her with her coughing. “That was a good hit, Pinkie, you did it like a champ,” Keon congratulated, as he took another hit himself and blew the smoke from his nostrils.
“Well, that wasn’t really fun,” Pinkie responded. “So, why do you do it?”

“Trust me, it’s going to get fun,” Keon said while passing the joint back to Pinkie. “Just wait until you start to feel it.”

Pinkie looked somewhat skeptical, but took the joint back from Keon none the less.

It was forty minutes later, when Twilight was making her way back to Keon’s room in order to bring him down for dinner. She had been wondering where Pinkie had gotten off to as well, but figured she could find her later.

When she approached Keon’s door, she could clearly hear the sounds of unbridled laughter taking place behind it. Cocking her head, she slowly opened the door and was greeted with the sight of Pinkie rolling on the floor, literally howling in laughter.

Twilight noticed Keon was laughing uncontrollably as well.

Upon seeing Twilight, Pinkie sprang to her hooves and trotted over to Twilight, giggling all the way. “Oh, Twilight, me and Keon were just watching this hilarious cartoon he called Family guy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything funnier in my whole life.”

“Uh, Pinkie are you okay?” Twilight asked curiously. “Your eyes are all red and droopy.”

“That’s 'cause she’s baked,” Keon droned before bursting back into laughter, quickly followed by Pinkie.

“Why is everypony laughing?” Twilight asked, now completely confused with the situation.

“Because you’re a talking pony” Keon responded.

“How is that funny?” Twilight asked, only getting more laughter from Keon in response. Rolling her eyes at the strangeness, she pointed a hoof towards the door. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you two, but its dinner time.”

“Yes, I’m fucking starved,” Keon said while springing to his feet and walking past Twilight.

Twilight merely shook her head at Keon before stating, “I hope you two come to your senses before we meet the Princesses.”

First off a big thank you to DF for editing this chapter and cleaning up my previous ones. I've also decided to start adding in at least one picture to every chapter starting from this point. Just to add a little more to the story. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and don't judge Keon, he's only human. Well see you with next update.

Chapter 8: Luna's Talent

Chapter 8: Luna’s Talent

Twilight couldn’t help but glance back and forth between Keon and Pinkie, as they traversed the hallways towards their destination. She simply could not puzzle out why the pair hadn’t stopped giggling since they had left Keon’s room.

As far a she was concerned, nothing that was going on was even remotely funny. She wondered if it were an inside joke between the two, but if it were that funny, why hadn’t they shared it with her?

“Are you two sure you’re alright?” Twilight asked, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. “I mean, why does every little thing set you off into a fit of laughter?”

Pinkie decided to answer. “I don’t know, Twilight,” she said. “Keon let me puff on this little, bitty, smoldering thing, and now everything just seems funnier than usual,” Pinkie droned.

Twilight quirked her eyebrow in obvious confusion. “Puff, you mean like a pipe?”

“No, like a joint,” Keon said with the same stupid grin he’d been sporting since they left his room. “Right now Pinkie is probably high as a kite, and I’m feeling pretty damn good myself.”

“High?” Twilight repeated the word. “I don’t understand, are you using that as some type of slang term?”

“Catch on fast, don't 'cha?” Keon quipped, prompting an irritated glare in response from Twilight. “Hey, relax, I’m just fucking with you.”

Twilight sighed and shook her head at Keon. “I know I have very limited knowledge of the human race, but you seem to speak quite vulgarly. Well, at least in comparison to the way that those humans spoke in the film you showed us.”

“That movie is PG-13,” Keon said with a large grin. “I’m rated R, besides, how do you know I’m speaking with a potty mouth? I don’t think either of the princesses realized it, until I brought it up, anyway.”

Twilight had a hesitant expression as she explained. “Well, essentially it’s the context in which you use the words, which make it easy to spot. When you use the word shit, you never use it to describe actual…well, defecating, thank goodness. Or when you said…fucking with me, even here that’s a foul phrasing for mating. Obviously we’re not performing any such acts,” she said with a nervous laugh. “This can be said for the word bastard and ass as well. So, either you do not know what these words actually mean, or you’re using them as vulgar slang.”

Keon just stared at Twilight, for once losing the grin on his face. “Uh…yeah, you’re blowing my high.”

Twilight didn’t know how to respond to that, so turned her attention back to Pinkie. “Is something wrong, Pinkie?” she asked, as she watched her pink friend work her mouth, like she was trying to dislodge something stuck in her teeth.

“It’s my mouth, it’s so dry,” Pinkie said. “And I’m really, really, really hungry!”

“Don’t worry, you’ve just got some cottonmouth and a case of the munchies,” Keon said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just a small downside of hitting the herb.”

“The herb?” Twilight said, realization of what the pair had done finally dawning on her. “You two have been abusing the medicinal properties of potentially harmful plants!” Twilight accused with a frown now plastered on her face.

“You really are sharp,” Keon said, his tone indifferent to whether Twilight disapproved of his actions or not. “I’m guessing you’re pissed right now.”

“Well, I’m not angry; however, I can’t say I like the prospect of you two ingesting chemically rich plants to achieve a state of euphoria either. The idea just doesn’t seem, well, right, but I could be wrong,” Twilight said, “moreover, whatever you’ve taken seems pretty harmless, if dilated pupils and laughing are the only apparent effects.”

“I think I’m starting to like you,” Keon said, letting his grin return in full force. “I was thinking a brainiac like you would be a complete stick in the mud, but you’re okay by me.”

“Uh…thanks, I guess.” Twilight said with a bashful grin.

“Hey, hey, do you like me too!?” Pinkie suddenly cut in, sounding far more bubbly then she had been. “I mean, we’re friends now, right?”

“Why the hell not, you’re the first Equestrian to toke with me. That makes you my friend by default,” Keon said while ruffling Pinkies puffy mane.

Pinkie was grinning from ear to ear. “Woo-who!” she shouted as she tried to perform a cartwheel, but failed miserably at the stunt.

Keon howled in laughter, and Pinkie joined in, although now nursing a bump on her head.

“You two sure get along nicely,” Twilight commented offhandedly.

Keon shrugged. “Well, I’ve only met a few of you ponies so far. Celestia, Luna, and the guards that caught me in my escape attempt, so it’s not like I have a ton of options. Me and the guards didn’t exactly hit it off. I like Luna though, she’s really cool, damn chill for a princess and all. And Celestia…is nice enough, but she still runs the show around here, so how buddy, buddy could we actually be?”

“But you do realize the princesses have joint rule over Equestria? So why do you feel more…comfortable with Princess Luna?” Twilight asked curiously.

“I don’t know,” Keon said as he scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Luna just seems more... approachable to me, I guess.”

“That’s very curious,” Twilight remarked, as they veered around another corner. “Most ponies are quite intimidated by Princess Luna.”

“I guess the fear of Nightmare Moon would have something to do with that,” Keon stated matter-of-factly.

Twilight’s eyes widened slightly. “You know the story of Nightmare Moon?”

“Yeah, Luna told me about it herself,” Keon answered. “Even though the whole thing sounded like something a cartoon villain would cook up.”

“I’m surprised Princess Luna would tell you that story from first hoof.” Twilight said, knowing that Luna wanted to put her past sins behind her.

“Why are you so surprised?” Keon asked his purple escort. “I mean, I’m not the most sensitive guy around, but even I could tell she really wanted to talk to someone about it.”

“And she chose you of all ponies to confide in, how very strange,”Twilight commented, before stammering out an apology. “I meant no offense by it, it’s just curious.”

Keon placed his thumb under his chin, in a thoughtful expression. “It’s not really my place to say, and I could be pulling this out of my ass, but maybe she’s just lonely,” Keon reasoned. “I mean, if she was imprisoned in the moon for a thousand years or whatever, and she came back to find that everyone was scared shitless by her, that would suck. Talking to some guy who didn’t grow up with Nightmare Moon bedtime stories would probably be pretty ideal in that scenario.”

“That could very well be true; you’d essentially have an unbiased opinion of her,” Twilight agreed with a nod. “Your ability to reason is impressive,” she added.

“That’s just the weed talking,” Keon said with a lazy smirk. “But like I said before, I’m more than likely just pulling this out of my ass. And speaking of asses, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about yours.”

Twilight looked affronted. “My flank!?”

Keon hadn’t appeared to care if he had offended Twilight or not, and pressed on. “It’s about those markings.”

Twilight blew a sigh of relief, realizing Keon’s intentions weren’t of a perverse nature. “You mean my cutie mark?”

Keon looked at the mark on Twilight’s flank for a moment before shrugging. “Sure…cutie mark, why not? I was just wondering if they were some kind of coming of age type of thing,” he asked. “Every last pony I’ve seen, Celestia, Luna, the guards, you two, you all have them.”

“These markings appear when a pony discovers their special talent,” Twilight answered.

“Just appear, like magic, no guy with a needle and ink?” Keon said with a bewildered expression etched on his face. “This world is just too weird.”

Twilight simply smiled at Keon, before noticing that they had finally reached their destination. “Hey look, we’ve made it,” Twilight said as the trio approached two very large oak doors with a pair of armor-clad guards positioned in front of them.

The two guards eyed Keon, taking notice of his bloodshot eyes and the smug grin on his face. They then looked to Pinkie, whom had the same droopy red eyes, although she looked to be on the verge of breaking out into laughter, as opposed to a small grin.

“Is there something wrong with these two?” one of the guards said to Twilight, in a loud demanding tone.

Twilight could only respond with a nervous grin of her own.

“The pool here has too much chlorine in it,” Keon said to the guard pony. “You should really get a pool colt down there to do something about it.”

The guard pony stared at Keon for a moment before shrugging, pushing open the door and stepping aside. “The princesses await your arrival,” he said.

“Thanks boys,” Keon said as he, Twilight and Pinkie strode past the two guards, both Keon and Pinkie chuckling as they went.

When the trio had disappeared beyond the door, the guard pony turned to his comrade. “We have a pool, how come no pony tells me anything?”

Upon entry, Keon stared around the dinning area with interest. It was a quaint little area, but still lavish in décor. A large chandelier hung from above, providing the room with adequate light, making the fire place seem unnecessary. He figured it was Celestia and Luna’s personal dinning chambers, or only used for private dinners with important visitors.

Celestia and Luna were both there, sitting ceremoniously around a fine polished, low, circular, red oak table. Apart from them, there were three other occupants joining them. One being Spike and two that Keon didn’t recognize.

The first of the two was a light pink colored alicorn. Her mane was at least three different colors, and Keon found himself choking back a laugh at the absurdity of it. He ventured a guess that she was probably the younger sister of Celestia and Luna. She was smaller than the two monarchs, and her mane wasn’t a visual spectacle like theirs.

The next was a white, fairly well built unicorn. A stallion, if his physique was anything to go off of. His mane was mostly a dark blue, but complimented with a few streaks of lighter blues. Lastly, he was actually wearing some type of red uniform.
Seeing that her guest had arrived, Celestia smiled and greeted them politely. “I’m happy to see that you’ve arrived here, without incident I hope.”

“If you don’t count Pinkie landing on her dome, trying to bust a cartwheel, then no incidents,” Keon quipped with a chuckle.
“Brother, Cadance!” Twilight suddenly squealed. “I didn’t expect you two would be here.”

‘Brother?’ Keon thought while shifting his eyes back and forth between the two ponies.

“Well, it wasn’t actually planned.” The one identified as Twilight’s brother spoke. “We were due to arrive for the official welcoming ceremony; however, we decided to come a day early,” he explained as his eyes observed Keon curiously.

“I hope our presence won’t be a bother to you…Mr. Keon?” Cadance added with a nervous smile. “I’m sure you can imagine that this is all very exciting, and we simply could not wait to meet you.”

“If an alien showed up on my planet, I’d be first in line to see it,” Keon said as he plopped himself down on an empty sitting cushion next to Luna. Pinkie had chosen the cushion next to Keon, leaving Twilight to sit in the last cushion between Spike and Cadance.

“Heavens, why are your eyes so bloodshot?” Luna inquired the moment Keon had sat down. “You’re not becoming ill are you?”

“No, he’s just high!” Pinkie said casually, answering Luna’s question. “And Keon says I’m baked!” she concluded, as she burst out laughing, earning confused stares in the process. “It’s funny, because I’m not a pastry.”

“High, baked?” Luna repeated the words.

“You remember that experience enhancer we talked about?” Keon whispered.

Luna’s eyes lit up in realization. “Ah, you’ve partaken in the smoking of the weeds!” Luna all but shouted. “And you were even kind enough to share the experience with one our subjects, how very considerate.”

“Yeah, considerate.” Keon chuckled nervously, before turning his attention back to the two unannounced guest. “So, who are you two anyway?” he asked the pair.

“Where are my manners, proper introductions are in order,” Celestia cut in. “This,” she gestured to the white unicorn, “is Shining Armor, co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, and previous captain of Canterlot’s royal guard.”

“Nice to meet you,” Shining Armor said after his introduction. Keon simply responded with, "What’s up."

Turning her attention to Cadance, Celestia continued. “Cadance is the niece of Luna and I, and shares rule with Shining Armor over the Crystal Empire.”

“A pleasure,” Cadance offered.

Keon nodded. “So, you guys are married then?” he asked, although his mind was more concerned with the spread laid out before them. Not that it was the most appetizing assortment, the meal was just random, and he was damn hungry.

There were salads in front of each of them, which apparently was the first course no matter where you went. Aside from that, in the middle of the table, there was a large amount of food. The line up consisted of steamed vegetables, soups, sandwiches with flowers for filling, a numerous amount of assorted fruits, a random tray of sunny-side eggs, a couple of wine bottles, a few pitchers filled with juice or water, and an absurd amount of baked goods. Finally, a large bowl of shining gems was sitting on the table.

Keon stared at the gems the longest. Why a bowl filled with rubies, sapphires, aquamarine, emeralds, and opals stood on the table was beyond him.

Shining Armor suddenly roused Keon from his engrossment by answering his question. “The best two years of my life.”

Keon quirked his eyebrow as he looked up from the food. “Two years, huh?” he muttered while looking back and forth between the couple. “You seem kind of young, but what do I know?”

The room became shrouded in awkward silence, for neither Shining nor Cadance could respond to that.

Keon sighed; he hated awkward silences, so he broke it. “So, are we just going to look at each other with our thumbs up our asses, or can we eat?”

“By all means, help yourself,” Luna offered, motioning to the food. Keon grinned, as he got to work on piling things onto an empty plate, followed by Pinkie, whom started loading her plate with a ridiculous amount of sweets. “We know you’re an omnivore, but eggs were the best we could do on such short notice,” Luna added, as she watched Keon picking through things he wanted to eat.

“Truth is, I’m more of a scrambled egg man myself, but I’ll eat anything when I’ve got the munchies,” Keon said while sliding a pair of the eggs onto his plate.

“What’s a thumb?” Spike suddenly asked, recalling Keon’s earlier comment.

Keon turned his head towards the small purple dragon. “Only the greatest appendage you can have on this side of the animal kingdom,” he answered while wiggling his two thumbs for emphasis. “Well, a close second anyway, if you know what I mean. Am I right Armor?” Keon said with a perverted giggle.

The joke wasn’t lost on Armor, for he too let out a restrained chuckle and surprisingly enough Luna did as well, leaving the others to simply stare at one another.

“How crude,” Luna commented with a hoof over her mouth.

“I don’t get it,” Spike said, as he nonchalantly started piling gemstones onto his plate.

“Sorry, Scooter, that joke is for older, and more perverse, minds,” Keon remarked, before giving Spike an odd stare at what he was doing. “Um, so we can just help ourselves to these gems then?” Keon asked, already in the middle of reaching for a particularly large ruby he had been eyeing.

“Oh, so humans eat gems too?” Spike asked curiously.

“That’s strange,” Twilight added in. “You don’t seem to have the proper jaw structure to crush them.”

Keon looked at the two in confusion before asking, “What are you talking about?”

His question was answered when Spike chucked a precious stone into his mouth and bit into it, like a piece of candy. “What the hell are you doing?!” Keon shouted, as he sprung over the table towards Spike and swiftly capturing the small dragon in a heimlich. “Spit it out, you little monster, spit it out!” he said while shaking Spike.

“Whoa, take it easy bro, there’s plenty to go around.” Spike tried to reason.

“Is there a problem Mr. Keon? We have more then enough gems for the both of you, I’m sure,” Celestia chimed in.

Keon stopped shaking Spike and turned to Celestia, with obvious confusion written on his face. “Huh…but he’s eating them.”

“Yes, Spike is a dragon; and gems are a part of his diet.” Celestia explained. “Moreover weren’t you going to do the same?”
Keon laughed nervously, as he hopped down from the table. “Uh, no, I can’t eat stones,” he said as he made his way back to his spot between Pinkie and Luna.

“So, why did you want them then?” Pinkie asked through a mouthful of cake, spraying a few pieces onto Keon’s face.

Brushing away the crumbs from his face in disgust, he answered. “Well, I’m no jeweler, but I’d guess that bowl of gems is worth well over fifty grand, where I’m from.”

“Grand, what’s a grand?” Cadance asked.

Keon rubbed his temples. “What exactly do you use for currency around here?” he returned.

“Bits,” she answered simply.

‘Bits, Jesus Christ more pony puns,’ Keon thought with an amused expression. “Ok, discounting the exchange rate between our dimensions, lets’ say one bit is worth one dollar where I’m from. One grand equals one thousand dollars.”

“So, you’re saying that bowl of gems would equal fifty thousand bits on your world!?” Twilight asked, clearly shocked. “But why?”

“Because precious stones aren't easy to come by,” Keon explained. “They’re a real pain in the ass to find, so we put a high value on them, along with other things.”

“I see, that explains your eagerness to stop Spike from consuming them. I suppose if gemstones are valued so highly in your world, watching them being merely eaten, would be jarring,” Twilight stated, as she wrote down a few notes on a piece of parchment.

“The way you value them make gems sound like they grow on trees around here,” Keon said while stuffing his mouth full of eggs and reaching for a nearby wine bottle.

“It only takes a simple detection spell to find them,” Shining Armor chimed in, as he made to pour himself and Cadance a glass of wine. “They’re not used for much outside of fancy clothing, and, well, food for dragons and diamond dogs.”

“So, when I leave this place, you wouldn’t mind sending me on my way with a large, hefty bag full of them then?” Keon asked as he struggled with the cork on the wine bottle. “Damn bottle,” he grunted.

“Allow me,” Luna offered, as her horn glowed and the cork popped off instantly.

“Thanks,” Keon said dryly, now filling a glass to the brim with the red liquid. “So, how about it, you up for a glass?” he offered to Luna.

“I suppose one glass couldn’t hurt,” Luna responded with a small smile.

Keon nodded as he poured her a generous amount. “What about you, Pinkie?”

“Sure!” she said while holding out a glass between her two front hooves. “I usually prefer cider, but this is okie dokie too.”

“Mr. Keon, if you do not mind me saying so, but you make it sound like there’s a way to return to your world?” Cadance suddenly interrupted. “If you were serious about taking gems back with you, that is,” she added.

Keon grinned. “Turns out your world has something called an EON that can jump dimensions. I figure after this whole meeting with the ambassadors or whatever, I can start looking for one.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You intend to capture one on your own?”

“I don’t see why not,” Keon said with a shrug before downing the glass of wine in one go and slamming the glass on the table. “If there’s even a small chance I can get back home, I’m taking it!”

“But…but I thought you liked us,” Pinkie cut in. “You lied, you really don’t like us, do you?” she accused, her eyes actually starting to water.

“Pinkie, I’ll just chop this display of emotion up to you still being high,” Keon said to the normally perky mare. “But me wanting to leave has nothing to do with not liking any of you. I mean, I have a life back home, it isn’t anything special, but I can’t complain either. I have a mom, two sisters and a brother, a good amount of friends, and my college life, waiting for me. To just say screw that all because I’ve landed in candy-land ain’t happening without a damn good reason.”

“In other words you have no incentive to stay.” Luna commented more to herself than to Keon.

“I feel terrible, for not having looked at this from your point of view,” Celestia stated. “I assume we were just too engrossed in our own fascination to see your position and what you’ve lost.”

“That’s probably my fault for taking everything in stride, I guess,” Keon reasoned as he turned his attention back to Pinkie. “You know, you really shouldn’t think about me leaving. Even if I manage to bag one of these EON’s, who knows if I could even use it to get back home?” Keon continued. “Like Twilight said, domestication of these things failed, so what chance do I really have? It’s just a shot in the dark, so feel free to root against me.”

“But that would make me a bad pony,” Pinkie countered, as she choked back a sob. “I don’t want to lose a new friend, but I want my friends to be happy too.”

Keon just silently stared at Pinkie as he thought, ‘I don’t get these ponies at all. She’s known me less then twenty-four hours, so why in the hell would she care about me being happy? I could end up dead in a ditch somewhere, and I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t give a shit.’ Shaking his head of those thoughts he spoke.

“Are all you ponies really this innocent?” Keon asked Celestia, getting a bemused smile from her in return, before turning his attention back to Pinkie. “Listen Pinkie, there’s nothing wrong with thinking of yourself from time to time. I don’t really get why you want me to stay, but, regardless, that doesn’t make you a bad pony,” Keon said, as he used his thumb to wipe some stray tears from Pinkie's cheeks. “Now, don’t cry around me again, watching woman tear up puts me in a somber mood.”

“Ok, no more being a frowny pony from me.” Pinkie said, letting her trademark grin return.

“I guess you are more sensitive than you think,” Twilight said with a smug grin. “Perhaps your display of vulgarity is simply a means to hide that side of you.”

“Who knows?” Keon said with a dismissive shrug.

“There it is again, that aloof attitude of yours,” Twilight pointed out, jotting down a few more notes. “Humans are just so fascinating, but strangely self conscious.”

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Keon said with a bit of irritation.

Twilights ears fell to the sides, as she looked back at Keon apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

“It’s fine that you’re excited,” Keon reasoned. “Just don’t blatantly treat me like a science project. Even in my field, we still treat the animals we’re studying with respect, as fellow living creatures.”

Twilight nodded her understanding.

“What exactly was your profession on your world, if you don’t mind my asking?” Shining Armor chimed in.

Keon looked around the table at all the expectant faces now staring back at him. Filling up another glass of wine, he took a sip before answering. “Well, I’m actually only a student right now,” he explained. “I was studying for my degree in biology and zoology. From there I was hoping to get a job as a wildlife photographer.”

“So, you have an interest in animals then?” Celestia inquired. “Perhaps I should introduce you to Philomena.”
“Philo-who?” Keon repeated.

“Philomena is my pet phoenix,” Celestia answered. “She’s quite the sight to see.”

“Just how deep does this wacky rabbit hole go anyway?” Keon muttered.

“So, why animals anyway?” Spike cut in as he crushed a large sapphire between his jaws, prompting a slight wince from Keon. “I mean, couldn’t you make a lot more bits by taking photos of models in stuff, like Photo Finish?”

“To be honest, I chose animals because of my buddy Chris,” Keon said with a trace of melancholy in his voice. “Ever since we were just little kids we’ve been best friends. As gay as it sounds, we did everything together, and at one point decided we should work the same job when we grew up. We had it all planned out, we’d go to school together, become roommates until we decided to have families of our own. But we’d still be best bro’s through it all no matter what life threw at us.”

“But our interest did start to grow apart once we got older though, and at least working together started to sound like a pipe dream,” Keon continued. “Chris found he really liked biology and even started helping out down at the animal shelter. As for me, I got into photography and decided that’s what I wanted to do with my life. Luckily for us, there’s need for photographers in that area too.”

“Seems fate was kind to you,” Cadance said with a smile.

“You don’t say,” Keon countered with obvious sarcasm.

“They do say everything happens for a reason,” Luna reasoned, trying to lighten the mood.

“They say that here too, do they?” Keon returned with a forced chuckle. “Our worlds sure have some weird similarities,” he finished with an exaggerated yawn. “Would it be cool if I went back to my room, I’m kind of beat.”

Keon’s sudden change in mood was not missed by any of the occupants of the room. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight reasoned that his friend was a touchier subject than they once thought. They figured that they should tread those waters more carefully.

“Yes, you’re welcome to turn in; you do have a big day tomorrow after all,” Celestia said before turning her attention to Twilight. “Would you mind escorting Mr. Keon back to his chambers?”

“Not at all, Princess,” Twilight said with enthusiasm.

“Actually, if it’s all the same, I’ll do it,” Luna said in a casual tone.

Celestia looked at her younger sister with a raised eyebrow that questioned, ‘what are you playing at?’ “Very well, but don’t forget, it’s about time for you to raise the moon. I’ve already set the sun on its course; it will be fully set in a short while.”

“I know my duties, 'Tia,” Luna replied with a dramatic swish of her mane, as she stood up from her cushion. “Shall we, Mr. Keon?”

Keon merely nodded as he stood up as well, and buried his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for the grub Celestia. Armor, Cadance, nice meeting you. Good night everyone.”

All present said their goodbyes to Keon, as he followed after Luna, but not before Twilight snuck in one final statement. “Don’t forget that Q&A tomorrow.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Keon responded, in a tired tone.

Celestia watched as the two disappeared beyond the door. She couldn’t help but wonder what her sister had planned.

Meanwhile Keon and Luna found themselves walking together in silence. For once, Keon embraced the silence. It gave him time to collect his thoughts, which mostly revolved around how he should go about finding Chris. If he was going to try and get home, he had to be certain that Chris wasn’t stuck in this world as well before he left.

Keon was roused from his musings by Luna’s voice.

“You’re worried about your friend, aren’t you?” She spoke in a tone of understanding.

“It’s that obvious?” Keon said with a bashful grin.

“Clearly, and you needn’t be embarrassed,” Luna answered with a smile. “I assume this Chris is your very special somepony?”

“Come again?” Keon said although he had an idea of what Luna meant.

“Your lover,” she said, making herself clear.

Keon’s eyes widened in horror. “No, no, no, no, no,” he said, shaking his head back in forth with each no. “He’s my friend, hell my brother even, and I’m worried about him, but I don’t swing that way.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” Luna said, finding it hard not to laugh at Keon’s frantic response. “Anyway we’re almost there.”

Keon looked around the area with a confused expression. “Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t the way I came before?”

“You’re right,” Luna admitted with a sly grin. “We’re actually heading somewhere else. There’s something I would like to show you.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve had one of those EONs locked up somewhere all along,” Keon said, sounding hopeful.

“I’m afraid not,” Luna returned, nipping that dream in the bud. Keon frowned at Luna’s reply and remained silent as she led him to a pair of silver doors, with a large crescent moon painted on them. “These are my sleeping quarters,” she said as her horn lit up and the doors swung open.

“Isn’t this a little forward for a princess? I mean. we just met,” Keon said with a nervous chuckle, not sure if he had overstepped his bounds with the joke.

Luna narrowed her brow before bellowing, in a magically strengthened voice. “Are you insinuating that one of royal lineage such as I, could be that type of mare!?” Luna’s voice boomed through the quiet hallway.

“Uh…well…no, not really…I mean…shit, don’t kill me,” Keon stammered out while taking a few steps back.

Luna let out a throaty laugh not befitting a princess. “Please relax, it was simply a joke. We’re just going out to the balcony.”

“Oh, yeah, right, balcony, that’s exactly what I thought we were doing,” Keon said, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Come,” Luna ordered, as she led a now shaken Keon through her room towards her private balcony.

Keon took in the area when they came to a stop. He admitted that the view was impressive. Off in the distance, he could make out the city of Canterlot, although the angle would prevent any prying eyes from actually being able to see Luna’s balcony. Below them was an impressive, blue rose garden with numerous statues and fountains. Finally, he could see a vast countryside that ended at a very thick looking forest, probably a good forty miles away.

“A marvelous view, is it not?” Luna asked while taking a few steps forward towards the edge of the balcony.

“It’s nice,” Keon answered, not sounding entirely sure of himself. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

Luna shook her head. “No, I want to show you something far more exquisite,” Luna said, as her eyes began to glow a solid white. “The time for me to raise the moon has arrived,” she muttered, as the sun fell below the horizon, giving way to the darkness.

Keon simply watched Luna in silent fascination, as her horn became shrouded in a translucent indigo aura, and she lowered her head.

“No way.” Keon mouthed the words, as the moon began to rise in unison with Luna, as she tilted her head upwards. ‘And here I was thinking that the whole "raising of the sun and moon" was a bunch of BS,’ Keon thought to himself, as Luna finished her work.

“Now for the fun part.” Luna spoke while staring upwards, towards the dark sky. “The night sky is my canvas, and I shall paint it as I see fit,” she said, as her eyes flashed even brighter, and the few stars that occupied the sky began to shimmer brightly like fireflies. Having seized control of the few stray stars, they began shooting about and dancing around one another, magically leaving even more stars in their wake. Luna’s performance had transformed a relatively void sky into a spectacular painting filled with thousands of glistening orbs.

Keon’s mouth was literally hanging open, as he watched the spectacle before him. It was akin to a meteor shower, only synchronized and with purpose, pure eye candy. He hadn’t really cared for the word beautiful, but that was the only word he could use to describe what he was witnessing.

Satisfied with her work, Luna’s eyes returned to normal, and she let out a breath.

Realizing that the show was over, Keon looked down from the sky and back to Luna, a small smile on his face. Not the one that he’d been using to hide his apprehension behind, but one that was genuinely happy.

“Why?” Keon asked quietly.

“You’ve been putting on a brave front Mr. Keon, it’s commendable,” Luna said, as she walked up towards him. “However, your fear, uncertainty, sadness, it’s all there in your eyes. I just wished to show you that, even if you can never return home, perhaps there are wonders here that may still make you happy.”

Keon stared at Luna, for a moment before smirking. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you ponies.”

Elsewhere

“What did I just see?” Chris asked no one in particular as the lightshow in the sky came to an end.

“That was Princess Luna’s work,” Rarity answered, as she trotted up towards Chris.

“What do you mean by 'Princess Luna’s work'?” Chris asked, as he stood up from the spot in the grass where he had been sitting.

“Princess Luna is responsible for the night sky. She raises the moon and sets the stars along with their constellations,” Rarity finished, satisfied with her explanation.

“What!” Chris shouted, having been awestruck by the news. “I can’t even begin to explain just how impossible that is, so I won’t even bother.”

“Magic truly is a foreign concept to you, Darling,” Rarity said while looking back up at the sky. “Although, I have to admit that Princess Luna has really outdone herself tonight,” Rarity commented with a thoughtful expression.

“How so?” Chris asked with interest.

“A lightshow like that is usually reserved for special occasions,” Rarity explained. “It seems odd for Princess Luna to treat us to such a splendid performance so unexpectedly and look at the amount of stars.”

“Maybe she’s in a good mood,” Chris reasoned with a shrug.

“Perhaps, albeit she has not done this before, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything,” Rarity reasoned. “Now, why don’t you come back inside? Fluttershy and Applejack were kind enough to prepare dinner for us all.”

Chris couldn’t argue with that offer, considering that he’d had little more than a couple of apples and a pack of poptarts since he’d arrived. “Sounds good to me,” he said, as he made to follow after Rarity, whom led the way back to Fluttershy’s cottage.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were standing just outside of Fluttershy’s cottage, still looking up at the sky.

“Hey, wasn’t that awesome!?” Rainbow Dash shouted as she noticed Chris and Rarity approaching them. “I can’t believe the princess put on a show like that, for no reason at all too!”

“I guess we were lucky Chris wanted some fresh air, otherwise we would have missed it for sure,” Sweetie Belle stated.

“What did yah think of it Chris?” Apple Bloom asked once Chris and Rarity arrived in front of them. “Wasn’t it neat?”

“It was an experience, that’s for sure. I’m still pretty blown away,” Chris answered the little filly. “It’s not everyday you get to see stars dance around like that.”

“I reckon yah don’t see much of that back in your world huh?” Applejack chimed in from an open window. “Yah know, no magic in all.”

“You’d be right about that.” Chris said as he made his way back inside, followed by Rarity, Dash, and the crusaders. “I still can’t wrap my mind around how colossal, luminous spheres of plasma, millions of miles away could be manipulated like that.”

“Uh, are we still talking 'bout stars, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked with a confused expression on her face.

“Well, I guess you really wouldn’t know what stars are physically composed of,” Chris reasoned, as he sat down on the couch in front of the coffee table, which now had an assortment of foods sitting on it.

There were a couple of pies, still steaming, clearly fresh out of the oven. Also a large tray of finger sandwiches, along with a bowl of apples sitting next to them. Finally, two large pitchers sat, one filled with iced tea, and the other with apple cider.

‘Well, their food looks edible enough,’ Chris thought, as he picked up a finger sandwich and shoved it into his mouth. His eyes widened as he instantly spat out the bitter substance wreaking havoc on his taste buds.

“What’s wrong, Chris?” Scootaloo asked, as she watched him spit out the food into a napkin. “Was something wrong with your dandelion sandwich?”

“Dandelion sandwich!?” He repeated the words in shock, while he opened up the two halves of his sandwich and, sure enough, he found it filled with yellow flowers and green stems. Looking at the sandwich in disgust, he sat it down on the table and filled a cup of tea before scarfing it down.

“What’s wrong, Darling?” Rarity inquired. “Were the sandwiches not to your liking?”

“Nothing personal against the chef, but flowers aren’t a part of a well balanced diet for humans,” Chris answered while eyeing the pie with caution. ‘For the love of god, don’t let that baby be filled with greenery too.’

“So, what do you humans eat, huh?” Dash cut in, while biting into a sandwich of her own. “I mean, you don’t look much like a predator, so I just guessed you ate like we do.”

“For the most part I do eat like you guys, but there are things that you can digest that humans can’t,” Chris explained. “Dandelions for starters, along with grasses and other plants that have heavy amounts of cellulose.”

“But why’s that?” Sweetie Belle asked, as she propped her forelegs up on Chris’ knee.

Chris softly poked Sweetie Belle in the stomach, coaxing a giggle in response. “Well, Sweetie, equine’s like yourself have what we call a large cecum in your belly, that’s attached to your large intestines. Your cecum ferments the cellulose to get sugar out of it, which is called a hind gut. We humans simply don’t have that.”

“Wow, how do yah know so much?” Apple Bloom asked excitedly.

Chris chuckled. “This particular thing just happened to be in my area of expertise.”

“You sound like a real egg head, you know that?” Dash said with a snort. “I bet you’d get along great with Twilight.”
“Egg head?” Chris repeated. “I’ve heard better insults from a five year old.”

“What, I’ve got more camel face!” Dash shot back. “I’m just taking it easy on you, since you’re new and all.”
“Dash, such crude behavior is not very becoming of a lady,” Rarity chimed in.

“Oh, yeah? It’s not like I’m trying to impress anypony.” Dash countered.

“Is this comin' from the biggest show off in Ponyville?” Applejack chuckled. “When are yah not trying tah showoff for somepony?”

Fluttershy had taken that moment to poke her head in from the kitchen, interrupting the soon to ensue argument.
“Um…Chris, may I see you in the kitchen, if it’s okay with you, that is,” she asked politely.

Chris nodded as he stood up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen. When he arrived Fluttershy was standing in front of the stove, with a nervous grin on her face.

“So, what’s on your mind, Fluttershy?” Chris asked curiously.

Fluttershy swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking. “I don’t know if you were trying to keep it a secret, but humans are omnivorous correct?”

“…Yeah, we are.” Chris answered cautiously, not sure how a race of intelligent, strictly herbivorous beings would view the idea of sapient meat eaters.

“I see…” Fluttershy said as she cantered over to a large cooler, and opened it up with her teeth. “These are for you…if you want them, I mean.”

Chris walked over next to Fluttershy and stared down into the cooler. The cooler was filled with water with three medium sized cod swimming back and forth.

“When and why did you catch these?” Chris asked while observing the fish.

“I actually got them from the market,” Fluttershy said. “Believe it or not, but some pegasi actually enjoy fish, so they're pretty easy to get. I usually keep some on hoof for the eagles and hawks that I look after that aren’t feeling well enough to hunt on their own.”

“I guess I don’t feel like a total leper anymore,” Chris said, as he closed the lid of the cooler. “But I don’t want to go through the trouble of cleaning, gutting and frying these fish right now.”

“Oh…you wanted them cooked? I just assumed that you’d well…just eat them,” Fluttershy said, lowering her head in embarrassment.

“Never been much of a sushi man, but I appreciate the gesture, it was real kind of you,” Chris said with a large grin, as he made to turn around but not before Fluttershy spoke up once more.

“Chris,” she said.

“Huh?” he replied quickly.

“Is there a reason the girls seem to be under the impression that you’re a male human?” Fluttershy asked curiously.
“What?” Chris said dumbly. “Don’t I look like a male?”

“I do admit, I thought you were a male at first glance, but when you removed your shirt, I saw your mammary glands.” Fluttershy said, pointing a hoof at his chest.

Chris looked down at his chest before erupting into laughter. “You thought I was a female, because I have nipples, that’s priceless!” he choked out, as he wiped a tear from his eye. “Thanks for that Fluttershy, I haven’t had a good laugh since I got here.”

“Um…you’re welcome, but I hadn’t meant for it to be funny,” Fluttershy said, her cheeks flushing pink. “And I meant no offense, it’s just very strange that you would have them. Unless, somehow, the males of your species performs the nursing of your offspring.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Chris explained. “Females of our kind suckle the young, as with all mammals. But I have heard crazy stories of males with an overabundance of estrogen hormones being able to produce milk. But those are just urban legends.”

“As for why we have them,” Chris continued. “I suppose…well, I don’t know. honestly, I never really gave it much thought. I’m sure there’s probably some scientific explanation for it though.”

“Okay, sorry if I bothered you with my question,” Fluttershy said in a soft tone.

“No need to apologize, truth is, I love talking about stuff like this. Makes me feel like I’m smart, know what I mean?” Chris said with a bashful grin. “But if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back in there, before that pie is gone.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you for so long.” Fluttershy said, as her ears folded down.

“Whoa, no need to get sad over nothing,” Chris reasoned. “You’ve been more than nice to me, taking time to answer some questions is the least I could do. Now, come on, you helped with this spread, so why not enjoy it?”

“Right,” Fluttershy agreed, following Chris back into the living room.

“So, what was that all about anyway?” Dash asked the moment Fluttershy and Chris returned.

“Honestly, Dash, wouldn’t the purpose of Fluttershy requesting Chris’s presence alone be defeated if she were to simply tell you what was discussed?” Rarity challenged.

Dash made to retort, but stopped herself with a huff. “Fine, so it’s none of my business then,” she conceded.

“All the same, I hope there wasn’t any trouble,” Applejack chimed in.

“No problems, just a couple of questions,” Chris said, as he sat back down where he had been sitting.

“Speaking of problems, shouldn’t we discuss our current one?” Rarity suggested, as she levitated a nearby knife towards one of the pies, and began carving it into portions.

Chris found himself completely transfixed, his eyes on the knife that was seemingly cutting into the pie of its own accord. ‘Wow, I can’t believe this is really happening,’ he thought, having witnessed magic being performed for the first time.

Rarity noticed Chris was staring at the knife intently. She couldn’t help but smile at how fascinated he appeared to be with such a simple task. “Ahem,” she coughed to bring his attention back to her.

Chris looked away from the knife and towards Rarity. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“I was saying that it would be prudent if we began discussing how we shall proceed from here,” Rarity answered. “You wish to go to Canterlot to search for your friend. However, you’re afraid of meeting the princesses.”

“I’m not afraid, just cautious,” Chris responded, accepting the generous slice of, thankfully, apple pie being passed to him, curtsey of Rarity.

“I don’t get why you’re so scared anyway,” Dash said, completely dismissing Chris’s claim of not being afraid. “The princess won’t lock you away just because you’re funny looking. Besides, you’ve been hanging with us, so it’ll be cool.”

“And why’s that?” Chris asked skeptically.

“I’m not one to gloat; however, we are quite familiar with Princess Celestia,” Rarity said, with a touch of pride in her tone.
“You know her personally then?” Chris returned.

Rarity nodded. “Yes, and I’d readily wager all of my bits that the princess will be more than kind to you.”

Chris rubbed his temples, clearly thinking hard on the matter. On one hand, waiting for more evidence that Keon was in Canterlot to surface seemed like a safer bet. News of an alien would have to spread at some point. On the other hand, he could be saving himself a great deal of effort, and trouble, by simply handing himself over to their hierarchy. He reasoned that the ponies he’d met so far had been more the hospitable to him, and maybe their higher-ups would be the same.

Fluttershy, whom had been quiet throughout the conversation placed a hoof on Chris’s shoulder, getting a startled jump from him in response.

“No pony is forcing you to make a decision right away,” Futtershy consoled, with a soft smile on her face. “Perhaps you should take some time to think it over.”

Applejack yawned, as she stood from her haunches. “Yeah, ain’t like we’re going anywhere tonight, except bed,” she stated, now looking down at the three crusaders, who were sleeping peacefully. “Best Ah get this one back home.”

“Heavens, where did the time go?” Rarity asked, taking a look at a nearby clock. “I suppose we should all be turning in soon,” she said before turning her attention back to Chris. “Um, Darling, where is it you intend to stay for tonight?”

Chris shrugged. “That little club house I stayed in was warm enough.”

“Club house?” Rarity looked appalled. “Darling, that simply will not do, I’ll sooner offer you my boutique before it comes to that.”

“Didn’t he want to stay out of sight though?” Dash cut in. “Or did you forget that you’re right in the middle of Ponyville?” Dash added with a raised brow.

“Oh, that slipped my mind, how silly of me,” Rarity said with an embarrassed giggle.

“I’d offer my couch, but Chris doesn’t look like he can fly.” Dash finished with a shrug.

“I reckon you can stay at mah place then,” Applejack offered. “Granny Smith won’t think anything of it, and Mac might look at yah funny, but that big lug won’t bother you any.”

“…Actually, you could stay here, if you want to that is,” Fluttershy boldly offered.

Rarity, Dash, and Applejack stared at Fluttershy for a moment, each mildly surprised that she would assert herself in such a way.

“One couch is as good as any other,” Chris replied with a neutral expression.

Rainbow Dash scratched the top of her head in confusion. “You sure about this, Fluttershy?”

“I think I’m capable of looking after our guest,” Fluttershy reasoned.

“Fine,” Dash said with a dismissive shrug. “Come on Scootaloo, I’ll walk you home,” she said as she roused Scootaloo from her sleeping.

“Huh…wha…what happened?” Scootaloo asked in confusion.

Dash shook her head. “You’re going home, that’s what happened. Now come on, Squirt.”

“Good night everypony,” Scootaloo tiredly mumbled as Dash coaxed her out of the door.

“See everypony tomorrow, and Chris, I better not hear you gave Fluttershy any trouble, or you’ll have me to deal with, got that?” Dash added, as she shut the door behind herself.

“Loud and clear,” Chris mumbled.

“Think I’ll head out mah self,” Applejack said as she made to maneuver Apple Bloom onto her back. “Well, after ah help clean up anyway,” she said, after taking notice of the mess their dinner had caused.

“Oh, horse apples,” Rarity spat. “That Dash always manages to scamper away when there is a mess to be cleaned.”

Chris spoke up. “You girls don’t have to worry about it. I’ll take care of the mess myself, it’s at least I can do for well…everything really.”

“Don’t be silly, we couldn’t possibly ask a guest…” Rarity tried but was cut off.

“No, I insist. You girls have been too kind, at least let me feel like I’m doing something in return, even if it’s just cleaning some dirty dishes,” Chris argued, furthering his point by lifting up Apple Bloom and placing her on Applejack’s back. “Now go get some rest already.”

“Well, if yer gonna argue like that, then who am Ah to tell yah any different?” Applejack reasoned.

“I suppose if you intend to insist so strongly, I shall not refuse your offer,” Rarity conceded. “Ahem, Sweetie Belle, it’s time for us to leave,” she said, as she made her way over to Sweetie Belle’s sleeping form and prodded her with her hoof.

Sweetie Belle groggily stood up. “Morning already?” she asked while tiredly staring around the room.

“Come, Sweetie Belle, it’s time for us to go,” Rarity said. “Have a pleasant night you two, we’ll see you all tomorrow,” she concluded, as she walked out the door, followed by Sweetie Belle.

“See y'all in the mornin',” Applejack said as she followed after Rarity.

“Good bye girls,” Fluttershy bid farewell while shutting the door after her friends. Letting out a soft sigh, Fluttershy immediately got to work on tidying up her home, much to Chris’s chagrin.

“You know, you don’t have to help, I can do it myself,” Chris tried to reason to his host, while collecting plates and stray utensils.

“It’s very nice of you to do this, but this is my home after all, it just wouldn’t be right to have you do all the work,” Fluttershy protested.

Chris shook his head. “You stitched me up and you’re letting me crash here aren’t you? I owe you this much,” he said as he took the wash cloth from Fluttershy. “Please, it’ll ease my conscience.”

“Um…well, if it’s really that important to you,” Fluttershy said with an unsure grin. “Then I’ll just go upstairs and get Angel tucked in for tonight. Oh…and I’ll bring you a pillow and blanket.”

“Thanks,” Chris responded, as he got back to work on cleaning the room.

Fluttershy watched him for a moment while deep in thought before finally leaving the living room to complete her own task.

Chris had finished all the work within forty minutes. During that time Fluttershy had come down to deliver him a pillow and blanket and wished him pleasant dreams, then retired to her own room for the night. Finally having time to himself, he relaxed on the couch while he contemplated his plan of action.

He decided that for better or for worse, a meeting with the princess simply had to happen. Hiding away at an innocent little pony’s house wasn’t going to get him anywhere. Besides that, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Keon was in Canterlot, and if he was he’d surely be making an ass of himself.

Chris grimaced at the thought of Keon hanging out with the nation’s leaders. He had no delusions about the fact that Keon was the least reserved person he knew. He’d smoke with the president if he could, definitely not the type you’d want to represent humanity. Depending on just how stupid Keon decided to act, he could very well end up locked up, or worse.

Chris shook his head. ‘No, these ponies are far to kind to do anything violent,’ he reasoned with himself, recalling how helpful the seven mares that he met had been to him. Hell, one of them was letting him sleep on her damn couch, and she’d only known him for a handful of hours.

Pulling the blanket over himself, Chris reached out to a nearby lamp and shut it off. The day had been long and taxing, but strangely pleasant, despite his position. Closing his eyes, his last thoughts were of what tomorrow would have in store for him.

Chapter 9: Awkward Situations

Chapter 9: Awkward Situations

Chris yawned, stretched out his sore muscles and wrenched the blanket from his body. He admitted, last night's sleep wasn’t the most pleasant he’d ever had. Even so, he was thankful that Fluttershy was kind enough to lend him her couch, but he’d be lying if he said that the thing was even remotely comfortable.

Standing up and cracking his back, Chris folded the blanket he’d used and placed it on the couch. Judging by the hue of the sunlight creeping in through a nearby window, he wagered it was around seven AM, maybe a little earlier.

Deciding to take in a bit of fresh air, Chris tiptoed towards the door as quietly as he could, in the hope of not disturbing Fluttershy, or any of her pets.

He had almost succeeded too, however, a small lamp table had other plans and he stubbed his unprotected toe against it.

“God damn it!” Chris hissed through gritted teeth, now hopping back and forth while clutching his throbbing toe. He stared daggers at the table, wanting nothing more than to put it through a wood chipper.

To his surprise, Chris hadn’t heard any sounds indicating that somepony had woken up from the noise, and he swiftly made his way towards the door. He frowned when the door gave a loud squeal, as he opened it. Sighing to himself, he stepped out into the cool morning air and walked a little distance into Fluttershy’s yard.

As expected, the birds were already up, merrily chirping and perching outside of the homes that Fluttershy had, more than likely, made for them. Chris beamed at the scene; the cottage really did have a rather tranquil appearance. Admittedly, he never really admired such things, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to start looking for the silver lining, if returning home wasn’t necessarily in the cards.

With a content smile on his face, Chris turned around, and stepped on something that gave a soft crunch. Looking down at his foot, he realized it was a newspaper. He quirked his eyebrow, as he reached down to retrieve it. He was curious as to what kind of news a civilization of equines indulged in.

Chris guessed there probably wasn’t any rampant crime to report on, or missing children cases. But perhaps they at least had sports, or something worth while to read about. Pulling off the rubber band that held the paper together, he opened it up.

Directly on the front of the page in large bold letters read, “Unscheduled summit to be held in Canterlot. Ambassadors arriving today!”

Chris scrunched his nose at the news. He couldn’t be certain, but this was obviously big and, more importantly, unexpected news for the Equestrian populace. He sighed, as his fears were becoming realized.

Chris puzzled on if Keon had indeed been found or at least turned himself in to the higher ups, and now the world was deciding on his fate. What would they do with him, he wondered? If the roles were reversed, what would humans do with a species from another dimension?

Chris could only draw blanks with that hypothetical scenario. ET was pretty close, but he couldn’t remember a damn thing about the movie. Moreover, every other alien movie usually resulted in the humans and the aliens trying to rip each others throats out, over who gets earth.

Shaking his head, he looked to the next largest column. There was a picture of the night sky, with the headline, “Spectacular showing in the night sky.”

“I guess it really was something special,” Chris reasoned, as he skimmed over another article, something about a hoofball team and an upcoming championship. Having his fill of the paper, Chris made to head back inside Fluttershy’s cottage, however, the sound of running water caught his attention.

Following the sound a short distance to the side of Fluttershy’s home, Chris came across a rather old looking, pale brown pony, wearing an aged, worn hat, blissfully watering a small patch of petunias.

Chris looked at the poor plants being watered without mercy before speaking. “Hey, Chief, don’t you think those flowers have had enough to drink?”

The old stallion looked up from his work towards Chris and simply stared at him for a moment. He chuckled. “And which one of us here is the gardener?”

Chris stared at the flowers then back at the pony and shrugged. “Fine, I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Just a minute, Sonny.” The old pony said, now eyeing Chris suspiciously. “You’re a rather funny looking feller, what are yah doing around here anyway?”

“Oh…about that, well, the pegasus that lives here, Fluttershy,” Chris said while jabbing his thumb at the cottage, “she took me in for the night.”

“Hehe, that sounds like Fluttershy,” the old pony croaked. “Sweetest little thing, ain’t she? Always looking after some wayward critter.”

“You’ve got the wrong idea, I’m not one of her animal friends,” Chris said.

The old pony was quiet, as he scrutinized Chris with a wary eye. “Now that yah mention it, yah have been talking this whole time. Yah ain’t one of them minotaurs, are yah? I remember her last run in with one,” the old pony said with a shudder.

Chris shook his head. “Can’t say I know what a minotaur looks like here, but if they’re anything like we depict them in lore, then I don’t know how you could confuse me with one.”

“Forgive the misgivings of an old pony. When yah get to be as old as me, the mind is the first thing to go,” the old pony joked, letting out a throaty laugh.

“You don’t say?” Chris quipped, realizing the petunias had been given their own personal pool by this point.

“Well, it’s nice that Fluttershy finally found some male company. Even if it does stand on two hooves and is missing all its fur,” the old pony said with a toothy grin.

“You mean to tell me a nice pony like Fluttershy has trouble roping a stallion?” Chris asked with an incredulous expression. “Honestly, I was afraid that her boy…er coltfriend would show up in the middle of the night and beat me stupid after he found me sleeping on her couch.”

The old pony let out another hoarse laugh. “That’s a good one, Sonny. I’ve never seen that mare look at a stallion, let alone have a go at one.”

“I do hear that she’s shy and all, even though she’s been pretty open since I’ve met her, go figure.” Chris finished speaking just as he heard his name being called, and quite frantically.

“Chris, Chris!” Fluttershy’s voice rang with a twinge of panic laced in its tone. “Where did you get to?”

“I’m over here!” Chris responded.

Fluttershy came trotting to Chris’s side immediately, letting out a sigh in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I thought something might have happened to you.”

“Sorry about that, I just came out for some fresh air, and ended up talking to this good sir,” Chris said with a nod in the old pony’s direction.

“Oh… Mr. Greenhooves, good morning,” Fluttershy said with a bright smile, before noticing that her flowers were receiving a life-threatening amount of water. “Mr. Greenhooves, I thought we talked about this,” she said with a frown.

Mr. Greenhooves hastily made to turn off the hose. “Sorry about that, sometimes I forget myself.”

“Well, no harm done…sorta,” Fluttershy said, before returning her attention back to Chris. “Um…Chris, I have to make a quick trip into Ponyville, to pick up some things for breakfast. Will you be okay while I’m gone?”

“I’m a big boy; I tie my own shoes and everything. I think I’ll be fine on my own for a little while,” Chris joked lightheartedly.

“…Well, okay then,” Fluttershy said, still displaying an unsure expression on her face. “Is there anything you’ll need before I leave?” she added.

“I’d really like to wash up?” Chris said, while sniffing his ripe pits. “Do you have a shower or something, if not; I could ask Mr. Greenhooves here to hose me down?”

“Oh...I’m so sorry, I never did give you a proper tour of my home,” Fluttershy said, letting her ears fall to the side of her head. “…Follow me and I’ll show you to the bathroom…if you want to, that is.”

Chris shook his head at Fluttershy’s overapologetic nature. He found it hard to believe that something that could think on its own could be so innocent. He didn't think that she would last a day on earth with that type of attitude. People with similar personalities were commonly stepped on and generally taken advantage of.

However, he doubted that her being timid was much of a hindrance here, aside from finding a coltfriend apparently. Not being a carnivorous species, Chris figured that the population probably had few altercations with one another, nor a desire to prove themselves better than the next pony. The only nonrecreational competition ponies should reasonably have would be in the pursuit of mates.

This line of thought only brought Chris more questions. He admitted that the ponies were strangely similar to humans, almost as if they were influenced by them. If he were to assume that they built their families in a similar fashion as humans, then there would probably be a good deal of single mares, if the meeting of seven females and only one stallion was any evidence of their male to female ratio.

Moreover, Chris reasoned his assumptions were only wild speculation. Although humanlike, the ponies could very well have families similar to their more polygamy accepting, feral counterparts. If this was the case their families would be constructed as some modernized form of a herd. This would rectify any need for conflict among the mares, at least to some degree.

Chris suddenly found himself being dragged out of his musings by Fluttershy’s voice.

“Chris…are you…okay?” she asked, concern clear in her voice and in her large, emerald eyes. “You’re just kind of staring into space.”

“Oh…sorry, just got lost in thought. What were we doing again?” Chris said, now scratching the top of his head.

“You wanted to um…bathe, remember?” Fluttershy said, as she pointed a hoof towards her home.

“And I thought I was scatterbrained,” Greenhooves piped in just as he finished rolling up the water hose.

“Hardy har-har,” Chris responded to the old stallion.

“Hehe,” Greenhooves chuckled. “Well, nice meeting yah, Chris, have a good day, Fluttershy,” Greenhooves said as he put a stalk of wheat between his teeth and trotted off while whistling a tune, one similar to zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

“Well, he was an interesting enough guy,” Chris said as Greenhooves disappeared from view. “Oh, and I almost forgot to show you this,” he added while unrolling the newspaper and showing the front page to Fluttershy as they walked.

Fluttershy looked over the page in silence, contemplating the news. After a moment, she spoke. “I think your suspicions were right,” she said in thoughtful manner. “I’ve never heard of a summit being called so suddenly, they’re usually scheduled every three years.”

“So, this is out of the blue then?” Chris asked as he placed his thumb and index finger under his chin in a thinking pose.

“…Then have you decided what you will do?” Fluttershy asked curiously. “…I’d be willing to take you to Canterlot, and the other girls would probably come along too…if you want to go I mean.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” Chris said with a shrug. “I guess we could discuss it once the other girls get here.”

Fluttershy nodded her agreement, as she opened the door to her cottage and ushered Chris inside. She led Chris up some winding steps that led to a small hallway with three doors. The furthest door was slightly ajar, and he could make out a bed. ‘More human like traits,’ he mused, ‘apparently they like the comfort of beds as well.’

Fluttershy had at that moment trotted to the closest door and bit down on the knob and opened it up, revealing that it was a closet.

Chris could only wonder why ponies would purposely inconvenience themselves with something obviously crafted for hands. Sure, the unicorns could work their way around it, but for the pegasi and normal ponies it made no sense to create, or better yet, incorporate them into everyday life. He’d have to ask about that at some point, along with a million other questions he had.

When Fluttershy emerged from the closet, she held a bath towel in one foreleg, and a toothbrush clinched between her teeth.

Chris took the offered items with slight chagrin. ‘At least she didn’t put the bristles in her mouth,’ he reasoned, as he followed Fluttershy to the next door, which she opened in the same manner that she had opened the closet.

Upon entry, Chris wasn’t surprised to find that the bathroom was pretty much the same as any other bathroom he’d find on earth. There was a toilet, although it was slightly larger than average, probably to accommodate the larger rear end of a pony. In the back of the room was a spacious bathtub, equipped with a shower head, and, finally, there was a sink that only reached the height of his groin.

“…Do you know how to use everything?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly, afraid that she might be insulting Chris’s intelligence.

“Don’t worry, this is pretty much what we have back home,” Chris said, as he walked over towards the shower and twisted a knob, turning it on. “See, I know what I’m doing.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Okay…I’ll be on my way then.”

“Take care and thanks again,” Chris said, only getting a bright smile from Fluttershy as she closed the door behind herself.

Elsewhere

Knock-Knock!

“…Duh fuck is that noise?” Keon grumbled at the sound of knocking on his door. Wiping away the morning sleep from his eyes, he gave out a loud yawn and pulled himself from the comfort of the bed. The knocking continued as he made his way towards the door. “Hold your horses,” he called.

The knocking stopped at his command, and Keon opened the door. Looking down through half awaken eyes he was greeted by the sight of one Twilight Sparkle and her dragon compatriot, Spike.

Twilight’s expression was that of excitement and eagerness, she was clearly ready to get the day started. Spike, on the other hand, looked about as sleepy as Keon did.

Keon quirked his eyebrow and gave out another yawn. “What time is it?” he asked the purple mare as she sauntered past him into his room.

“Eight o’clock,” she answered while magically pulling a quill and parchment from her saddle bag.

“Eight…so why are we awake again?” Keon asked tiredly as he shut the door and followed Twilight.

“I wanted to get an early start on that Q&A,” Twilight explained. “You do have a very busy day after all, early morning was the only time I could fit in our session.”

“Oh, yeah, right…meeting with the uh…important people…er I mean, you know what I mean,” Keon trailed off as he made his way towards his backpack. “Give me like thirty minutes before we get started. I need to clean up, I smell like I’ve slept in a pile of jockstraps,” he finished, as he pulled out a fresh pair of boxers and socks, along with his bitch-assness shirt Pinkie had been wearing.

“…Well, okay then, just try not to take too long,” Twilight called after Keon.

“Sure, just play around on my netbook or something, if you get bored,” Keon said as he opened the bathroom door and shut it behind himself.

‘Well, this should be a fun day,’ Keon mused as he stared at himself in a mirror. ‘I get to play the role of leader of humanity at this tea-party of sapient animals and mythical creatures.’ He laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole thing, mostly him being the representative of the entire human race. Sure, he was a model citizen right, hell no. “And my mom’s boyfriend said I wouldn’t amount to shit, shows how much that fucker knows.”

‘Oh, who am I kidding? I’m in over my god-damn head,’ Keon thought, letting out a bemused chuckle. Taking a seat on the edge of a bathtub big enough to fit Celestia comfortably, he turned the knobs and let it begin to fill. Grabbing some nearby bubble baths, he dumped in a generous amount of whatever scents they were and watched as the suds began to form. Admittedly, he wasn’t much for baths, since showers were quicker, but at least he could doze off in the tub for a little while. Any extra Z’s he could get would be well worth the effort, he reasoned.

Once the tub had filled, he stripped himself and slid in. “Fucking hot!” he hissed through clenched teeth, willing himself to stay in the water. After a minute or so, he became accustomed to the temperature and began to shut his eyes, only to have them fly open at the sound of Pinkie’s voice.

“Watcha doin'?!” Pinkie shouted. “Oh, duh, you’re taking a bath, I just love baths! The bubbles and suds are so fun to play with, especially when you rub them on your snout like this!”

Keon was simply speechless as he stared at Pinkie, then at the door, which was still closed, then back to Pinkie. “…How did you get here?” Keon asked once he recovered his voice.

“Well, you’d have to ask my parents that, Silly.” Pinkie said with a simple shrug.

Keon slapped his forehead. “No, no, no, no… I mean in the fucking tub with me!”

“Easy I put in one hoof at a time and got in,” Pinkie answered as though it weren’t a big deal. “Why? Is there something wrong with me being in here with you?”

Keon slinked away from Pinkie who had moved in too close for comfort. “Yeah, I’m sorta naked in here.”

Pinkie gasped. “What a coincidence, I am too!”

“It’s different,” Keon deadpanned. “Now, do me a solid and get out!” he shouted while pointing his index finger towards the door.

Pinkie’s ears fell and her bottom lip quivered. “You don’t have to be so grouchy, you know,” she said as she stood up and hopped out of the tub.

Keon sighed, “Now look, I wasn’t trying to be mean, it’s just there are two things I like to do in private: jacking-off and scrubbing my ass.”

“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie responded, her cheerful demeanor returning in full. “But before I go, I have some super-duper, extra good news.”

“I’m all ears.” Keon feigned interest.

Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Guess what pony was put in charge of all the planning for your reception party!?”

Keon stared at Pinkie with a blank expression, his eyes focusing on the three balloons printed on both sides of her flank. “…Spike?” he said nonchalantly.

“Spike!?” Pinkie repeated, having missed the sarcasm, or at least playing along, Keon really couldn’t tell. “It’s me silly,”Pinkie said while sticking her rear into the air, and pointing at the balloons. “I’m the best when it comes to everything partying.”

“Really? Somehow I doubt you know what a kegger is,” Keon said, as he let out a small chuckle and folded his arms behind his head. “So, tell me my pink friend, what’s your idea of a good party?”

Pinkie placed her hoof under her chin in a thinking pose. “Well, first it would have to have lots of balloons, party favors, party hats, pin the tail on the pony, musical chairs, sack racing, juice, cookies and cake!”

Keon face palmed. “Pinkie, please, stop right there.” Pinkie reluctantly ended her monologue. “Not that all that doesn’t sound… great, but you won’t be entertaining children at this reception. The guest list is probably full of dignitaries, AKA, important, uptight, blue bloods that just want to stand around mingling, sipping on wine and spritzers.” Keon explained to Pinkie, who seemed to be taking in what he was saying with careful consideration.

“As a rule of thumb you can’t end a good party without someone passed out on the floor, preferably me. You can’t achieve that by playing birthday games. Are you sure you can handle a party in need of more adult themes?”

“Hey! I’m no one trick pony,” Pinkie countered, as she pulled a list from seemingly nowhere. “You only asked what I thought was a good party, doesn’t’ mean I can’t throw them all,” she said as her eyes scanned over a list of party types and what was needed to throw them. “Let’s see, birthday party, wedding, hearts and hooves, nightmare night, glad you’re not dead, welcome to Ponyville, graduation party, frat party.” Pinkie stopped listing off the names, as her eyes widened and she beamed something fierce.

“That’s it, I found just what you had in mind!” she said while rolling the list back up and sticking it into her mane, that swallowed it whole.

‘There goes something else I can check off on my "weird shit I’ve seen" list,’ Keon mused as Pinkie beamed at him.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of things to get ready for tonight,” Pinkie said, as she began to bounce towards the door but stopped. “Oh, and since you like privacy while you clean yourself, I should probably tell Gummy to get out of the tub then, huh?”

“Who’s Gummy?” Keon asked offhandedly, content to believe that there was no one else crazy enough to sneak into the tub with him.

“My pet alligator,” Pinkie said with a large grin.

“A pet alligator, huh? How cute, an imaginary pet,” Keon humored Pinkie, now relaxing further into the tub, only to shift back into an upright position as he felt something rough brush against his leg. ‘What the hell was that?’ Keon thought, trying to peer through the suds.

It didn't take long for his eyes to meet with a pair of pale purple ones that broke the surface of the water, followed by a long, light green, scaly body. “Aggggghhhaaaaa, it’s a fucking alligator!” Keon screamed, as he flew out of the tub with unprecedented speed, but not before catching his foot on the side of the tub.

He went skidding into Pinkie, sending them both tumbling to the ground, with him landing on her in an awkward straddle.

Twilight had chosen that moment to burst into the bathroom. “What in the hay is going on in here!?” she asked while looking around frantically, only to spot Keon and Pinkie in a rather compromising position.

“Pinkie!” Twilight gasped in shock. “What are you doing?”

“It’s not what it looks like!” Keon shouted, as he hastily got off Pinkie and covered his homeboys with his hands. “It was Gummy’s fault,” he added, nodding his head towards the tub, where a three foot long alligator was swimming to and fro.

Twilight looked from Gummy to Keon and finally to Pinkie, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire exchange. “…Well, it was just an accident right?”

“Yeah, an accident,” Keon said while nodding his head up and down. “Right, Pinkie? Just an accident.”

Pinkie slowly nodded “…Yep, one silly thing led to another and, well, I gotta go,” Pinkie said, as she trotted to the tub and grabbed Gummy. “See yah, Twilight! See yah, Keon!” she finished, before dashing out of the bathroom.

Both Twilight and Keon watched the bubbly mare leave with confused expressions on their faces.

“Well, that was weird, even for her,” Twilight stated with a quirked brow. “You sure you two weren’t doing anything I should know about?”

“Twilight, I’m a human and there was an alligator involved, how kinky do you think your friend is?” Keon asked, now searching for a towel to at least appear decent.

“I don’t know, I never really considered what Pinkie does in private,” Twilight answered with a thoughtful expression before she shuddered slightly. “On second thought, I don’t believe I want to know.”

Keon shrugged “So, why the hell does she have a pet gator in the first place? Doesn’t she know how dangerous that is?” Keon asked, now searching through a cabinet for a bath towel. “I’ve handled hatchlings that I’ve gotten nasty bites from. One of Gummy’s size could take an arm off.”

“Not Gummy, he doesn’t have any teeth,” Twilight explained.

“That doesn't make any sense,” Keon argued. “An alligator will constantly replace lost and damaged teeth. Even if you removed them all, they’d just grow back in.”

“I’ve learned that if it involves Pinkie, don’t bring logic into the equation,” Twilight returned with a simple shrug.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Keon said, as he finally located a towel and wrapped his midriff with it. “Well, now that I’m finished with the most unsuccessful bath in history, what’s next?”

“That Q&A.” Twilight beamed.

“Fine,” Keon grumbled as he retrieved the clothes he had brought in and headed towards the door.

“Oh, yes, I’d almost forgot, but I managed to find an educational film on your netbook,” Twilight stated with an enthusiastic grin.

“Educational?” Keon repeated. “Trust me, there’s no educational videos on my netbook.”

Twilight looked confused, before she asked, “Then what do you consider those films visually documenting the mating practices of humans?”

Keon’s eyes slightly twitched at what Twilight had said. ‘This day just keeps getting better, now they found their way into my porn stash.’ Keon shook his head. “How do I break this to you? Would you consider an erotic novel about ponies getting intimate with each other an educational read?”

“Well, no, I suppose not,” Twilight said with a blush, before something dawned on her and her eyes widened. “Sweet Celestia, I left it running and Spike may have gotten curious!” she shouted before dashing into the room, desperate to stop her young assistant from viewing the perverse content.

Keon quickly followed her, he figured that whatever happened next would at least be interesting. Coming into the room, he could already hear the moans and dirty talk sounding from his netbook's speaker.

By a stroke of luck or misfortune, Twilight had chosen a particularly naughty video to open, and Spike was clearly viewing it. Keon grimaced at Spikes transfixed stare. As far as porn was concerned, most were introduced to it by implied sex scenes in movies. This was comparable to having a shot of Absolut Vodka as your introduction to alcohol, as opposed to a sip of your dad’s beer.

Spike would have been in for one hell of a ride if Twilight hadn't been intent on stomping on the breaks.

“Spike, turn that off right now! It’s not something you should be viewing,” Twilight commanded of Spike, whom seemed too transfixed to pay her any mind.

“Wow, Spike, that’s pretty gnarly that you’re into human on human action,” Keon said choking back a laugh as he slammed the netbook shut.

Spike returned to his senses the moment the netbook was shut. “Hey, turn that back on.”

“No can do, Shorty. Twilight will have my head if I corrupt you anymore,” Keon said as he shoved a pillow between Spike’s legs. “You can thank me later for that.”

Spike looked at the pillow between his legs, and he blushed furiously. He wanted nothing more than to simply fade from existence. “Uh…thanks,” he mumbled.

“Just make sure you take that pillow when you leave. The last thing I want is to end up sleeping on it after your red rocket has been in it,” Keon said, giving the dragon an affectionate nuggie, which he instantly regretted. “Damn, what are these scales made of anyway?” Keon grumbled now nursing his raw knuckles.

Twilight chose that moment to interject herself back into the situation. She needed to perform damage control, post-haste. “Um…Spike perhaps we should talk about what you saw,” Twilight began although slightly hesitant. “You see when a male pony and female pony love each other….well in this case a male human and…no, no, no, let’s start over. You see all living organisms have an inherent instinct to reproduce, that will come with sexual maturity. What you saw was sexual reproduction, which is the creation of new life by combing the genetic material of two organi…”

“Twilight.” Keon cut her off in the middle of her drawn out explanation. “He’s embarrassed enough, it’s probably better to just drop it.”

“But,” Twilight began to protest but stopped as she took notice of Spike, who was trying his best to appear invisible.

“Wouldn’t it be less awkward if you let Spike talk to another dragon about this, or at least another guy?” Keon asked.

“We’re pretty low on male options,” Twilight admitted.

Keon scratched his stubble. “Considering that this is sorta my fault, maybe I could teach Spike about the birds and the bees?” Keon offered. “I’m no dragon, but at least I’m another guy, hell it was my brother that taught me how things were done.”

“Uh…well, I don’t know,” Twilight said with a sheepish grin. She figured Keon wouldn’t be very delicate in his explanation, and Spike was such an impressionable little dragon.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep it in his demographic,” Keon assured Twilight with a devious smirk.

“Well, if you’re absolutely sure then…okay,” Twilight finally relented, although she felt she would probably regret that decision.

“Good, just try to squeeze in some man to man time for me and Spike sometime today,” Keon said, while he slid on his boxers underneath the towel and proceeded to dress himself for the day. “By the way, what is my schedule looking like anyway?”

Twilight lifted a list from her saddle bag. “I have it all written down here,” she said as the list floated towards Keon.

He plucked it out of the air and scanned over it. The first order of business was obviously his meeting with Twilight. Secondly, he had a fitting with a pony named Tailor Made, after which he was to have a briefing with Luna on how the summit would proceed. Following that, the summit itself would commence, ending with the reception party.

“At least I know I don’t have a shortage of things to do for today,” Keon said while handing the parchment back to Twilight. “Who’s Tailor Made anyway?” he asked.

“I haven’t met her myself, but she’s a renowned tailor and seamstress here in Canterlot,” Twilight answered. “I hear that there are a lot of ponies that would pay top bit to have something designed by her, at least that’s what I recall Rarity saying.”

“Who decided I needed some new threads?” Keon asked as he took a seat on a nearby chair.

Twilight sat down in the chair opposite Keon and brought her quill and parchment out once again. “It was Princess Celestia’s idea. She assumed, since humans prefer to be dressed, that you would probably want to wear something more formal for the summit. Speaking of which, have you decided who your escort will be?”

“Escort, you mean like protection? `Didn’t realize someone might want to kick my ass at this shindig,” Keon said with a look of confusion.

Twilight giggled. “No, not protection, as a courtesy, somepony to keep you company throughout the proceedings,” she explained offhandedly while scribbling some things down on the piece of parchment.

“What are the chances that one of those dashing stallion guards will go with me?” Keon said in his best impersonation of a sultry woman.

Twilight stared at Keon quizzically. “…Do you really want me to answer that?”

Keon burst out laughing at Twilight’s expression. “Of course not, and if you hadn’t noticed, I’m on a first name basis with only five females here. Three of them being princesses, so I couldn’t exactly ask one of them to be my escort, so that leaves Pinkie and you. That is, unless you have a passable chimpanzee I could dress in a gown and take with me.”

“Oh…right, I forgot your options are pretty limited,” Twilight said with a bashful grin. “Does that mean you’ll be asking Pinkie?”

Keon shrugged. “I don’t know, Pinkie might feel awkward around me after what happened.”

“Don’t be silly,” Twilight reasoned. “Pinkie isn’t a pony to dwell on anything too long. She’s more than likely already forgot about that mess in the bathroom. But if you’d rather I be your escort, that’s fine as well. Now, how about we get started, before we run out of time?”

Keon was quiet for a moment before he leaned back into his chair. “Alright, fire away.”

Twilight grinned excitedly.

Meanwhile

Chris sniffed the charred remains of what Sweetie Belle swore was a cupcake. Setting the burnt pastry down, Chris grinned uneasily at Sweetie Belle. “Uh, thanks a lot, Sweetie Belle, I think I’ll save this for later.”

“No need to lie to her,” Scootaloo piped in. “Everypony knows Sweetie Belle’s cooking isn’t edible. I remember this one time she burned chocolate milk.”

‘How do you burn something you don’t cook?’ Chris wondered as he looked down at Sweetie Belle, who now sporting a downcast expression. “Come now, it’s not that bad,” Chris tried to defend Sweetie Belle, in an effort to cheer her up. “And I’ll prove it,” he said as he chucked the burnt confection into his mouth.

Sweetie Belle beamed at seeing someone brave enough to eat her cooking.

“So, do you want to be buried in what you’re wearing?” Scootaloo quipped, as she watched Chris power through the cupcake with a stone like expression.

“See! I told you I was getting better,” Sweetie Belle said with a triumphant grin.

“Ah guess you’re right, he ain’t keeled over yet,” Apple Bloom jested, getting a laugh out of Scootaloo.

“Now girls, let’s not let the teasing go too far,” Rarity chimed in. “Not everypony is blessed in the culinary arts after all.”

Finally managing to get the cupcake down, Chris cursed his love for children. It would take a week to get the taste of charcoal out of his mouth.

“Well, I have to admit, you’re tougher than I gave you credit for,” Dash commented. “Not as tough as me of course,” she added while throwing some punches into the air to make her point.

“Ah’d reckon he’s ah might tough to take on them timberwolves in the Everfree,” Apple Bloom said.

“I wouldn’t exactly call what I did taking them on,” Chris reasoned. “I was just trying to stay alive.”

At that moment Fluttershy and Applejack came through the front door, catching everyone’s attention.

“Howdy everypony,” Applejack said, as she shut the door behind herself.

“Hello girls, were you able to procure the tickets?” Rarity inquired of Fluttershy and Applejack.

“The train for Canterlot leaves at three o’clock,” Fluttershy answered while retrieving the tickets from her saddle bag.

Rarity smiled. “Splendid. That will provide us a few hours to make preparations for our leave.”

“You know, I really have to thank you girls again.” Chris spoke as Fluttershy provided him with his train ticket. “Whether what I’m doing is the right decision, I’m glad you’re willing to help me. I just wish there was something I could do in return.”

“It’s no big deal really,” Dash said dismissively. “But if you don’t want to take our kindness for what it is, then lets just say we’re doing this in the interest of peace with humans or something.”

“Ah don’t get why it’s such a hard pill for yah to swallow,” Applejack said with a raised brow. “Don’t humans help one another out when they’re in a fix?”

“A good amount do, but even then it’s usually in self interest,” Chris explained. “I just don’t get what you get out of helping me, when there’s literally nothing in return for you.”

“The gratification that comes with helping some pony in need. That reward is satisfactory enough, is it not?” Rarity returned with a bright smile. “Now, I believe I must return to my boutique, to make the necessary arrangements for an extended leave of absence.”

“Yeah, I need to let the weather patrol team know I’ll be gone for a few days,” Dash added as she hopped from the couch and stretched her wings. “It’s nothing but clear skies scheduled for almost the whole week, so they won’t really need me. But what about you AJ, won't Big Mac need your help on the farm?”

“Figured Ah’d hire a farmhoof to pick up the slack while Ah'm away,” Applejack answered. “Lemon’s ain’t ripe for picking yet, so Lemon Drop will probably take the job.”

“You sure, that guy’s not just a feather brain, he’s a real creep,” Dash said with a shake of her head. “He hit’s on every mare in his field of vision. Hey, Fluttershy, don’t you remember that one time when he…”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Fluttershy said as she looked away in embarrassment.

“Don’t mean any different to me. He ain’t much for bucking trees, but if he can pick apples half as fast as he does lemons Ah don’t care what he does in his own time,” Applejack reasoned. “Ah just need to track him down.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Well, should we get going then? The train leaves in three hours after all.“

“Ah reckon we should,” Applejack agreed before turning her attention to Chris. “So, how about it partner? Yah feel like taggin' along with me and having ah look around Ponyville, before you haul off to Canterlot?”

“Well...” Chris muttered.

“Might as well,” Dash cut in. “You’re gonna have to walk through Ponyville to get to the train station anyway, so there’s really no avoiding it.”

Chris turned to Fluttershy whom gave him a soft reassuring smile. “…It’ll be okay, so long as you’re with some pony.”

“I guess if you’re sure that I won’t be responsible for a panic, then I’m game,” Chris conceded. “Besides, I was itching to get a glimpse of pony society.”

“What about us?” Sweetie Belle chimed in. “Can we go too?”

“Actually girls, I have a favor to ask you,” Fluttershy said, instantly receiving the full attention of the three crusaders. “Since I’ll be leaving for a few days, I was hoping you’d be willing to stop by my home to feed the animals. Only if it’s not too much trouble that is,” she added.

The crusaders seemed to be thinking hard on the matter before they chorused in unison. “Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader House Sitters!”

Chris smirked at the apparent excitement of the three fillies. “I’ve been thinking about what you girls call your trio, so what exactly are these cutie marks you’re crusading for?”

“It’s the mark that appears on your flank when you find your special talent,” Scootaloo answered.

“We haven’t found our talent yet, so our flanks are still blank,” Sweetie Belle finished.

“Huh…you mean an actual mark just appears depicting what you’re good at when you discover it?” Chris asked as his eyes observed each flank present in the room. “Let me guess… magic?”

“Now you’re catching on darling,” Rarity said with a nod of approval.

Chris was quiet for a moment before he began to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Apple Bloom asked curiously.

Chris looked at Apple Bloom. “I just find it funny that your talents and personalities are directly linked to your names.”

Scootaloo stared up at Chris in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“You mean you girls haven’t realized it yet?” Chris asked skeptically. “Just think about it,” Chris explained, as he pointed to Applejack. “Take your sister for example, her name is Applejack, and she’s an apple farmer. Her name is like a play on words with lumberjack, which is what she does but with apples, hence she has apples as a cutie mark. Rainbow Dash for instance has a three colored lighting bolt cutie mark, and dash is synonymous with speed, and lighting can also be associated with speed. She did tell me she’s the fastest flyer in Equestria after all. I could explain Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s as well but I think you get the point.”

“Actually, Ah don’t get it at all,” Apple Bloom said, while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded their agreement.

Chris sighed. “I’m saying, if you want to find your talents, you don’t need to look any further than your own names.”

“Are you saying you know what our talents are then?” Scootaloo inquired with a large grin on her face.

Chris looked to the four older mares for assistance. If his hypothesis was correct, then he could assume puzzling out their talents would be a simple enough task, but he really didn’t believe it was his place to just out right tell them. As far as he was concerned, finding your cutie was some kind of sacred milestone that everypony would eventually cross themselves.

Rarity had picked up on Chris’s silent plea for help and came to his aid. “Now girls, we’ve already been through this, you cannot simply rely on shortcuts when it comes to acquiring your cutie marks.”

The crusaders gave a joint “Awww” in response.

“Don’t worry girls, you needn’t rush it…you’ll find your special talents someday,” Fluttershy reassured. “Now, how about I show you where I keep all the food for my animal friends?”

Their prior vigor returning, they nodded enthusiastically.

“Well, okay then.” Fluttershy beamed.

“Hey, 'Shy, how bout when yah wrap things up with the crusaders, yah come and find me an Chris?” Applejack said. “I reckon by the time Ah’v found Lemon Drop, and finished showin' Chris round Ponyville, it’d be around the time to head to the train station.”

“…Alright, I’ll make sure to come and find you,” Fluttershy said, as she led the crusaders towards the back of her home.

“See yah, Chris,” Apple Bloom said before they rounded the corner. “We’ll make sure to come and see yah off at the station before yah leave.”

Chris nodded as he made to follow after Rarity, Dash, and Applejack, whom were heading out the front door.

Well I don't have much for an authors note, but I feel like I should always try to say something. So uh...screw it I tried.

Chapter 10: Chris & Lyra

Chapter 10: Chris and Lyra

“This just isn’t right,” Keon grumbled as he stared at the plastic bag, barren of any substance apart from a few stray seeds.

Sighing in mild frustration, he stuffed the bag back into his backpack. If someone had told him a few days ago that he’d be dropping his favorite hobby, he’d have laughed in their face. The sudden sound of someone knocking on his door roused him from those musings.

“Hang on, I’m coming,” Keon said, making his way over to the door.

Opening it up, he was greeted by Spike, who was cradling five large books in one arm while balancing a tray of cupcakes in the other.

“Spike, why are you… Oh yeah, the birds and the bees and all that,” Keon said while stepping aside to let the small dragon in. “What’s with the books anyway?” he added just as Spike dropped the books to the ground, fatigue clear on his face.

“You’re the one that asked for these remember?” Spike grumbled irritably. “Books on local wildlife and floral.”

“That’s right, I did. Funny, I thought I asked Twilight if she could get her hands…er hooves on them for me. I didn’t expect you’d bring them, and right after I asked for them too,” Keon said while bending down to pick up the books.

“Well, I am Twilight’s number one assistant after all,” Spike stated with pride.

“Uh-huh,” Keon responded absentmindedly, as he flipped through a few pages of one of the books he’d picked up. “But I don’t remember asking for anyone to bring cupcakes,” he added.

“The cupcakes were Pinkie’s idea,” Spike said while placing the tray of pastries on a table. “She said something about not having given you your first 'welcome to Equestria' cupcake.”

“That’s thoughtful,” Keon responded with an amused expression on his face. “Well, have a seat if you want. We’ve only got thirty minutes before that tailor pony comes a-knocking.”

“Alright,” Spike said, as he sat in an empty chair next to Keon’s bed.

Keon placed the books down on a nearby table and walked over towards the bed and sat directly in front of Spike.

Spike fidgeted in his seat nervously, as Keon stared at him from his spot on the bed in quiet thought.

“So, Spike,” Keon started, causing the little dragon to jump in surprise. “We haven’t got all day, so let’s cut to the chase… What did you think?” Keon asked bluntly with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Huh?” Spike replied dumbly, clearly confused with the question. “What did I think about what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you know what I mean,” Keon said teasingly.

“Oh, you mean about that video?” Spike replied, sounding unsure of himself. “It was well…uh I don’t…It made me feel funny, okay. Not the laughing kind of funny, some other kind of funny… If that makes any sense,” Spike said before looking away in embarrassment.

“Makes sense to me,” Keon said with a knowing smirk, as he leaned towards Spike. “So, I’m guessing you’re like seven or eight right?”

“Fourteen,” Spike answered with a frown. “Why does everypony think I’m so young?”

“Could be the height,” Keon said with a shrug. “Well, never mind that. Truth is, I had planed to give you a sugar-coated run down of everything for Twilight’s sake, but since you’ve been around for fourteen whole years, I say to hell with it.”

Leaning back in his chair Keon stared at the ceiling in deep contemplation of how he should go about explaining the whole thing. “Alright, Spike, let’s start things off small shall we?”

“Okay then,” Spike said, still fidgeting a bit in his chair.

“Have you ever had a crush on someone before?” Keon asked his student of sorts. “You know like, liked them as more than just a friend?”

Spike’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree at hearing the question.

Keon smirked “I know that look. So, let’s hear about this dragoness you’ve got the hots for.”

“Actually, she’s not a dragon,” Spike said with a deep blush tinting his scales. “She’s a pony.”

Keon raised an eyebrow. ‘A pony, how the hell does that work? What’s his plan for when he gets to be the size of a house, with a schlong bigger than the whole pony?’ he pondered before shrugging the thoughts aside. He decided that if griffins and ponies were okay with knocking booties, then who was to say ponies weren’t fair game for dragons? ‘Hell, that donkey in Shrek had a dragon wife,’ Keon mused, figuring this world was no less ridiculous than that of Shrek’s.

He pressed on. “So…this pony then, tell me about her.”

Spike looked eager. “Well, she has the most beautiful mane and tail I’ve ever seen, and her white coat practically shines in the sunlight. Her blue eyes are prettier than any gem you could ever hope to find.”

“You could’ve just said she was hot, and I would have gotten the point,” Keon said with a shrewd grin. He could damn near see the hearts in Spike's eyes. “Interesting,” he said in a thoughtful tone. “I wagered you’d be similar to reptiles from my world, like crocodiles, but physical attraction isn’t a prerequisite for them when it comes to getting naughty, just the right time of season and who bellows the loudest. Your behavior is more humanlike than anything else.”

“…And what exactly does that mean?” Spike asked curiously.

“It means that I can talk to you like you’re one of my own,” Keon explained. “Now, using this pony as an example, has there ever been a time when you thought about her in a way that you’d be embarrassed to tell someone else?”

“Uh…maybe once or twice,” Spike admitted, lowering his head in shame. “But nothing like what I saw in that video,” He added hastily. “You won’t tell anypony, will you?” Spike asked with a twinge of fear in his voice.

Keon shook his head. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Besides, your thoughts and feelings are perfectly normal for someone of your age. But I do wonder if you’re even physically ready. I’m told you dragons are pretty long lived and grow accordingly.”

“Well, yeah, we do grow pretty slowly,” Spike confirmed. “My wings probably won’t grow in until I reach about twenty-five.”

“Just a guess, but that’s when I assume you’d reach sexual maturity,” Keon reasoned. “And then you’d be ready.”

“Ready for what?” Spike asked, looking up from the ground and back at Keon.

Keon grinned like an idiot. “For a little bump and grind, like you saw in that video.”

“Whoa, really?” Spike said, already blushing as he recalled the scenes in vivid detail.

“But don’t get it mixed up,” Keon warned Spike. “Being physically ready to reproduce isn’t the same as being mentally ready for it. So, I wouldn’t recommend trying to spread your seed just because you could.”

Spike looked confused. “So, you’re saying you can be ready, but not ready? I don’t get it.”

Keon sighed. “What I mean is, physical maturity usually comes before mental maturity. If someone isn’t mature enough to take on the responsibility of raising a child, then they should think twice before having sex. Because there’s always that chance.”

Spike nodded. “Sex… so that’s what you call it, and that’s how babies are made then?” Spike said with a little more excitement than he meant to. “But why was the male being so mean to his mate?”

“Mean?” Keon repeated the word.

“Well, yeah, he kept slapping her on the flank and saying mean stuff like, 'take this you dirty bitch.' Shouldn’t you love the one you want to make a baby with?” Spike asked curiously.

Keon simply stared at the dragon with his mouth wide open before erupting into laughter. ‘My god, this is too much, you don’t even understand dirty talk. Just how soft is this world anyway? I’m not even a bad guy, and I feel like a drop of ink that just landed on a white sheet of paper.’

Spike watched Keon howl in laughter for a moment before asking, “What’s so funny? Is that just how humans behave when they make babies or something?”

Keon stopped laughing and wiped a tear away from his eye. “I guess I should have explained this earlier. First off, you have to understand that, that video isn’t documenting mating practices, it’s just a form of adult entertainment. Those people were banging for a paycheck, not in the hopes of having a kid.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “You mean those humans were just doing that for the sake of it?”

“Like I said , they get paid, so yes and no,” Keon said with a shrug. “In truth, some people do it because they love each other, yah know, all that mushy stuff, and want to have children. Here in candy land I’m sure that’s the category the majority of you fall under. Others…well, they’ll do it just because it feels good, or maybe they got too drunk to think straight, then there’s the whole getting paid deal, be it through legal methods and illegal.”

Spike was quiet as he fiddled with his fingers. “Have…you ever…you know?” he stammered out.

“What, had sex?” Keon finished for Spike. “Nope, I’ve had pretty shitty luck when it comes to girls. Why do you think I have those videos in the first place?”

“I don’t know, why do you have them?” Spike returned.

Keon smirked. “To help me get off, you ever try choking the chicken without a visual stimulant? Not nearly as fun.”

“Why would that video help you choke a chicken?” Spike asked, clearly confused by the figure of speech.

“Come on, you know, flogging the mule, beating the bishop, polish the knob, butter the corn, beating your meat!” Spike only looked more confused. “Damn, you’re fourteen and you haven’t touched yourself yet? Shit, I was eleven when I learned about drygasms.”

“Don’t you think you’ve gone far enough, Darling?” a squeaky feminine voice interrupted Keon.

Keon and Spike looked up towards where the voice had come from, only to be greeted by a strangely dressed pink pony standing at the doorway.

The fact that she was even dressed was weird in itself. She was wearing black and white striped leggings on her hind legs, with a red miniature skirt. A large pink bow held together a small red cape on her back. Her dark pink mane was done in two stylized pigtails, with a red king’s crown sitting atop her head. Finally her eyes were caked in an unnecessary amount of eyeliner.

“And just who are you?” Keon demanded bluntly, not particularly happy with being interrupted. “And how long have you been standing there.”

“Kekeke,” the pony chortled, as she trotted into the room. “My, my, the princess warned me that you could be a bit abrasive,” she said, as she came to a stop in front of Keon and scrutinized him with a calculative eye. “So, you’re the human. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Darling. I’m Tailor Made,” she finished with an outstretched hoof.

“No way! You’re the Tailor Made? You’re like a pop-star around Canterlot. Wait until I tell Rarity I was in the same room as you, she’ll freak,” Spike enthused.

Keon looked at Spike before he took Tailor’s hoof in his hand and shook it. “Yeah, a real pleasure.”

“My word, what a marvelous appendage.” Tailor gasped as she observed Keon’s hand on her hoof. “Such elegance, such finesse, and so remarkably soft, how very fragile they must be. I simply must design something for them.”

Keon removed his hand with a feeling of unease in his gut at Tailor’s excitement. “Aren’t you a bit ahead of schedule?” Keon said while looking at a nearby clock.

“Schedules, schedules, who needs them, Darling? Tailor Made works when she so chooses. Besides, I was anxious to meet the being that wishes to be dressed at all times. You’re essentially a tailor’s dream come true,” she said, as she placed her hoof under her chin in a thinking pose. “Now, stand for me, Darling, I must see what I’m working with,” she said in dramatic manner.

Keon obliged to Tailor’s command and stood up.

Tailor nodded, as she paced around Keon a few times. “It’s been awhile since I’ve made clothing for something similar to your body structure,” she commented, while still observing Keon carefully. “Now, let’s have your measurements,” she said as her crown gave off a pinkish glow and transformed into a roll of measuring tape.

“So, you had a horn hidden under that crown?” Keon said as he watched the measuring tape magically travel around him.

Tailor frowned before withdrawing the measuring tape. “This simply will not do, I cannot get your proper measurements with you wearing so much clothing. Please remove those garments at once, Darling.”

“No,” Keon deadpanned. “I’ve shown my ass to enough ponies as it is, I’m done getting naked.”

“Very well, I’ll just have to accommodate for the added lengths from your clothing,” Tailor said as her horn shimmered once again and the measuring tape transformed back into a crown and landed on her head.

“You don’t want to write those measurements down?” Spike chimed in.

“Sweetie, I’m Tailor Made, and Tailor Made never forgets the measurements of any of her customers,” she said with a boisterous attitude. “Now, Darling, I do not know human fashion; however, if you can give me an idea of what you would like to wear, I’m sure I’ll manage.”

“Do you know what a suit looks like?” Keon asked the pink seamstress.

“To whom do you think you’re speaking with? I’m the king of fashion, Tailor Made!” she exclaimed, striking a pose and flourishing her front hoof in the air.

‘Damn, she’s annoying,’ Keon thought.

“King, wouldn’t queen make more sense?” Spike reasoned.

“No, Darling, being the queen would imply that there’s a king whom sits above me in fashion. And that simply will not do,” she explained while sticking her nose in the air.

Spike shrugged. “I guess that makes sense…sorta.”

Turning her attention back to Keon, she stared down at his feet. “Will you also require new footwear?”

“You can make shoes?” Keon asked, sounding somewhat surprised.

“Of course! I’m…”

“Tailor Made,” Keon cut her off. “Yeah, we got that already.”

Tailor quirked her brow. “You’re a cheeky one, but I like that. Normally my clientele are tripping over their own hooves when they speak with me.”

“You’ll have to forgive me for not being star-struck, but frankly you’re just another pony to me,” Keon said as he sat back down on his bed.

“Fair enough, I shall have your clothing finished before it’s time for you to meet with the dignitaries,” she affirmed with a curt nod.

Keon raised an eyebrow. “You can get it done that fast?” he asked, clearly impressed that she could fashion new clothing for a creature she had no prior experience with so swiftly.

Tailor Made grinned. “Darling, we’ve been through this, haven’t we? I’m…”

“Tailor Made!” both Keon and Spike chorused, prompting the self proclaimed king of fashion to beam with pride. “And don’t you forget it,” she finished.

Meanwhile

“And then I got really hungry after that,” Pinkie concluded her story.

“Hm, sounds a lot like happy leaf to me,” a white unicorn with a blue mane replied as she fiddled with some wires on a large turn table. “I’ve DJ’d for a few griffin parties that had that stuff being passed around.”

“Happy leaf, what’s that?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“It’s a leaf picked off of Hau’oli trees,” she said while placing a record on the turn table. “It makes you…well, happy. No pony can eat it without laughing like an idiot. It's fun just seeing how long you can keep a straight face.”

Pinkie placed her hoof under her chin in a thinking pose. “I wonder if Keon would like something like that?”

The pony lifted her dark purple shades and stared at Pinkie. “Who’s this Keon you keep mentioning anyway?”

“He’s the guest of honor silly. Who else did you think this party is for?” Pinkie asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied with a shrug. “I was asked to come DJ, so here I am. I wasn’t told anything about who this party is for.”

“Sorry, Vinyl, it can’t be helped,” Twilight piped up, as she cantered up to the two. “The princesses are trying to keep him a secret until later. Only a few ponies have gotten to see him,” she added.

“He must be a real big shot, with all this secrecy,” Vinyl said as she began to bob her head to the music that had started playing on the turn table. “I’m surprised you asked for this type of music, Pinkie. Not that I’m complaining, this will definitely have the party jumping. Well, if all the stiffs will loosen up anyway.”

“Don’t worry: I’ve already got a plan for that,” Pinkie confirmed with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“You know, Pinkie, you’ve really got this place looking nice,” Twilight stated as she observed the ballroom where the reception party was to take place.

“Thanks, Twilight. Hopefully this will be the biggest bestest party I’ve ever thrown,” Pinkie said as she scanned over her check list. “There’s just a few itty-bitty things left to do and we’ll be all set.”

“Well, I’m sure Keon will love what you’ve set up here and the princesses as well,” Twilight stated as she trotted over to a large bowl of punch and levitated a ladle and cup towards it. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not, there’s plenty, but I’d go easy on that bowl of punch, it’s special after all,” Pinkie warned, as she directed some ponies, that were aiding her in the preparations, to hang a large banner. “Come on everypony, put your backs into it, or, in your case, wings.”

Twilight smiled at her friend before filling the cup with punch and taking a sip. Her eyes widened as the liquid entered her mouth. Setting the cup down, she looked in Pinkie’s direction with a frown. “Pinkie, what did you put into this punch?”

“That’s a secret,” she answered with a coy grin. “But don’t worry, I’ve made non-special punch too.”

“Haha, you spiked the punch?” Vinyl chortled. “I didn’t think you had in you, Pinkie.”

“Pinkie, I don’t know what to say,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “Just what kind of party are you throwing anyway?”

“The kind where ponies end up on the floor,” Pinkie said as she bounced away, humming a merry tune.

“She seems to have a little more pep in her step than usual,” Vinyl said with an amused smirk. “Sure she doesn’t have the hots for somepony, yah know, a certain guest of honor if you will?”

“I doubt that,” Twilight said, now chuckling at the thought. “Keon’s a bit well…exotic.”

“So, he’s ugly?” Vinyl said nonchalantly. “Too bad, the way Pinkie was going on about him I thought he’d be a real looker.”

“…Well, I’m not trying to say he’s ugly, just different. You’ll know what I mean when you see him for yourself,” Twilight reasoned.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Vinyl replied as she busied herself with one of the speakers connected to her turntable. “So, what brings you down here anyway, just checkin in on Pinkie?”

Twilight rubbed the top of her mane sheepishly. “I almost forgot: There was something I needed to ask Pinkie. Thanks, Vinyl, for reminding me.” She said as she trotted away in the direction Pinkie had gone.

Vinyl merely nodded her head. “Uh, no prob, I guess.”

Elsewhere

Chris felt his heart pounding in a mixture of excitement and apprehension, as the town slowly came into view. Rarity and Rainbow Dash had taken a different path, for they were headed to a different part of town, leaving Chris and Applejack alone. As they got closer, Chris could make out the thatched rooftops of vividly colored shops and homes. From his vantage point it looked as if the town was pulled straight out of a fairytale.

“Stick close to me, Surgarcube,” Applejack said as they were now close enough to town to make out individual ponies going about their daily lives.

“Sure thing,” Chris replied with a bashful grin while observing the ponies that were blissfully unaware of his presence. ‘To think that these ponies have built a society like this, it’s all so surreal.’

Upon entering the town, Chris could have sworn he heard a record player screech to a stop, as a great deal of eyes suddenly landed on him. Looking at the awestruck ponies that had spotted him, he grinned nervously. “How’s it going?” he asked no pony in particular.

“Pretty good,” one blue colored unicorn that had joined the crowd answered, receiving odd looks from some nearby ponies. “Well, it did ask after all,” she defended herself.

Chris was relieved that the ponies hadn’t decided to run, but had opted to simply stare at him and whisper to one another.

“Alright, that’s enough gawkin' from the lot of yah,” Applejack cut in, interrupting the awkward staring. “He’s ah friend of mine, and ah won’t stand for anypony bein' rude, yah hear?”

A few ponies muttered under their breaths, but, never the less, they began to go on about their business. Some still lingered around to watch the strange creature as inconspicuously as they could.

Applejack simply rolled her eyes at their horrible attempts at being subtle with their staring. “Ah’m sorry 'bout all this Chris. Ponyville ain’t ever seen anythin' like you before.”

“It’s cool, I haven’t had this much attention since I tripped on stage getting my diploma at my high school graduation,” Chris said as they continued to walk deeper into town.

Applejack nodded. “So, what yah think of our little town?”

“It’s nice, damn colorful though, and is that a bowling alley?” Chris asked while pointing to a large building that had two bowling pins on either side of its doors. The building was constructed of wood with a large hill top design complete with grass roofing. “You guys have some imaginative architects to come up with something like that.”

“If yah think that’s somethin', wait 'til yah see Sugarcube Corner,” Applejack said, as they continued to walk. “But before that, ah need tah find Lemon Drop. Figure the market is as good as any other place to start ah lookin'.”

“Fine by me,” Chris said just as he noticed a peculiar sight. “You know, Applejack, I’ve been thinking, I’d really like to have a book on pony anatomy.”

“Pony anatomy…what fer?” Applejack asked curiously.

“Well, either that pony sitting on the bench is a contortionist, or you ponies have skeletal structures that are vastly different from normal ponies,” Chris reasoned, as he scrutinized the pony currently lounging on a park bench in the same fashion a human would.

“Oh, that’s Lyra, couldn’t tell yah why she goes about sitting like that,” Applejack said while cringing slightly at the awkward position Lyra was sitting in.

Chris didn’t respond but continued to stare at the pony, whom was now staring back at him. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. Chris couldn’t tell if it were out of fear or fascination.

“Uh, is she gonna be okay?” Chris whispered to Applejack, as they passed Lyra, whose eyes never left Chris as they went away.

“Dunno, never seen her look like that,” Applejack admitted with a discerning eye in Lyra’s direction, only to be further confused, as Lyra’s former expression was replaced with a large toothy grin. “Best tah jus' keep movin',” Applejack said while hastily ushering Chris ahead.

“Well, that was weird,” Chris said after they had walked a fair distance. “She looked at me like I was the best thing since sliced bread.”

Applejack looked confused. “The best ah what now?”

“It’s just an expression, don’t worry about it,” Chris explained as they entered the market district. Chris took note of the many stalls and carts that were set up in the area. He could see that most of the stalls were selling produce, only a few vendors here and there selling non-edible items.

Chris whistled. “Now this is old school,” he said, taking note that a merchant and a shopper were actually haggling over the price of some tomatoes.

The two stopped what they were doing upon noticing Chris.

“Whoa, who’s this guy Applejack?” a pegasus with a striped, silver blue mane and a dark grey coat bordering on black asked while looking up at Chris.

“Name's Chris,” Chris said while extending his hand towards the pony.

The pony stared at the offered hand for a moment before looking at Applejack with an unsure expression.

“Well, whatcha waitin' on Thunderlane? Go on,” Applejack said with an amused smirk. “Ah promise he ain’t gonna bite no pony.”

Thunderlane put his hoof in Chris’s hand and shook it. “Uh, Thunderlane, that’s my name,” he said a bit more confidently. “…So, yeah, what brings you two to Ponyville?”

“We’re looking fer Lemon Drop, yah haven’t seen 'im by any chance, have yah?” Applejack inquired.

Thunderlane looked perturbed. “Last I checked, no pony goes looking for Lemon Drop, you avoid him. But if you really need to find that lecher, he’s probably hanging out at the pool hall, with his gang,” Thunderlane said. “Actually, I was planning to head over there myself a bit later.”

“Then yah may as well tag along with us,” Applejack offered.

Thunderlane looked to Chris to gauge his reaction. Deciding that the human didn’t mind, he shrugged. “…Sounds good, but give me a moment,” Thunderlane said as he turned back to the vendor. “Alright, five bits, take it or leave it.”

The vendor grinned. “Deal!” he accepted enthusiastically.

Thunderlane nodded as he produced five gold coins and tossed them towards the vendor. Placing the purchased tomatoes in his saddlebags he beamed at Applejack and Chris. “Well, all set.”

Applejack shook her head at Thunderlane’s failed attempt to haggle. “Not everyday a pony swindles them self outta bits.”

“You saying I’ve been had?” Thunderlane asked with a look of surprise. Turning his attention back to the vendor, he glared.

“Hey, it was your offer, and all sells are final,” the vendor pony declared with a triumphant grin on his face.

“Next time, buddy,” Thunderlane said as he turned his attention back to Applejack and Chris. “Let’s get going, I can make up those lost bits playing pool.”

Chris found himself eager to see how the hell a non-unicorn would manage something like pool and just how terrible they would be at it.

Meanwhile, in a nearby alley, Lyra pressed herself against the wall and peered around the corner towards her quarry. Standing next to her was a cream colored earth pony with a dark blue mane with pink highlights.

“Remind me again why we’re sneaking around in a smelly alleyway?” she asked irritably, clearly not amused with the situation.

“Suck it up, Bon Bon, it’s the only way we won’t get spotted,” Lyra reasoned.

“Spotted by who? You still haven’t told me who we’re 'shadowing' as you put it,” Bon Bon complained.

“My soulmate,” Lyra cooed. “When I first laid eyes on him, I knew right away, we were destined for one another.”

“Soulmate? By Celestia, if it isn’t one thing with you it’s another,” Bon Bon said as she simply walked to the mouth of the alley and stared out into town. “Alright, I’ll humor you, what’s he look like?”

“The tall one, you can’t miss him,” Lyra answered like an overzealous child.

Bon Bon eyes observed the area before they landed on the bipedal creature walking next to Applejack and Thunderlane. Her eyes widened in shock. “You can’t be serious? I don’t even know what the hay that thing is. But it's freaky looking, that’s for sure, just look how bald it is.”

“He isn’t freaky looking,” Lyra protested. “He’s just bit different, that’s all. Plus, I love the way he walks upright like that and his hands!”

Bon Bon shook her head. “First there was the obsession you had with cast statues of monkey hands. Then the whole sitting weird thing and those hind leg walking lessons you took from that minotaur and now this!” Bon Bon exclaimed. “As your friend, I feel that I have to tell you that this is starting to become unhealthy. Especially if you think that creature is somehow your soulmate.”

“I’d almost forgotten about my walking lessons,” Lyra said as she lifted herself to her hind legs and took a few clumsy steps. “Whadya think?”

“You know it creeps me out when you do that.” Bon Bon said, looking up at Lyra, who now stood over a head taller than her.

Lyra took a deep breath as she steadied herself. “Okay, I’m gonna go say hello.”

“Just like that? Then what was the point in sneaking around like we were a couple of ninja?” Bon Bon questioned.

Lyra shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Bon Bon sighed as she pointed a hoof towards the exit of the alley. “Just get on with it already.”

Chris had just gotten done taking a few pictures, when he noticed the familiar mint unicorn walking towards them, in every sense of the word.

“What the hell?” he muttered to himself as Lyra walked unsteadily towards them.

Lyra’s face was contorted in concentration as she focused on walking upright. ‘One step at a time,’ she coached herself. Raising her front hoof, she attempted to wave only to trip on a lose rock. Her front hooves flailed as she fell backwards.

Expecting to land on the back of her head, she was surprised to find two hands clasped around one of her forelegs.

“I think you’d be better off walking on all fours,” Chris said as he helped her stand back up.

“Whadya doin' Lyra?” Applejack asked. “Walkin' like that ain’t natural for a pony.”

Bon Bon had chosen that moment to come trotting up. “Excuse my silly friend. She just wanted to say hello to, um…the new, uh…well, you,” she said, pointing a hoof at Chris.

“Doesn’t explain the weird walking,” Thunderlane muttered under his breath.

Lyra grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, I was just trying to make an impression,” she said as she wobbled slightly on her hind legs. “You make this look a lot easier than it is.”

Chris was slow to respond as he attempted to make sense of the pony before him. Her abnormal sitting, and the fact that she practiced walking upright sat odd with him. He wondered if she had some type of fascination with bipedal beings. “Well, you definitely made an impression,“ Chris finally said. “I don’t think I’ll have any trouble remembering the pony that walks like that,” Chris finished as he stuck out his hand for Lyra to shake. “Name's Chris.”

Lyra stared at the offered hand with fascination. “…I can touch it?” she asked with hope in her eyes.

Chris quirked his eyebrow. “That’s kind of the idea. It’s how we humans greet each other, I thought you ponies did the same?

Lyra eagerly placed her hoof in Chris’s hand. “I’m Lyra,” she giggled like a foal as Chris’s fingers closed around her hoof.

“So, this is a human’s greeting?” she commented. “We ponies normally hug each other.”

“No, we don’t,” Thunderlane argued, only to receive a kick in the foreleg from Lyra for his troubles. “Ah, what was that for?” he grumbled, now nursing his foreleg.

“Never mind him, so how about we greet like ponies now?” Lyra offered while already stretching out her forelegs.

Chris looked down at Applejack who was wearing a perplexed expression on her face. “Is this really a custom of yours?” he asked.

Applejack shook her head. “Ain’t no custom where ah'm from…well, Pinkie might try 'n hug yah, now that ah think about it.”

Chris sighed. ‘What could it hurt?’ he reasoned, as he allowed Lyra to embrace him.

Bon Bon shook her head as she watched her friend hug the human, who was sporting a satisfied grin on her face.

“I could stay like this forever,” Lyra cooed as she nuzzled her head into Chris’s chest.

Chris’s eyes widened before he gently removed himself from Lyra. “So, um, yeah, shouldn’t we get back to finding this Lemon Drop?” he said, clearly eager to get away from Lyra’s odd behavior.

“Ah reckon we should,” Applejack said with a curt nod towards Lyra and Bon Bon. “Good talkin' with the two of yah.”

“Yeah, nice meeting you Lyra and, well, I didn’t catch your name,” Chris said directing his attention towards Bon Bon.

“Bon Bon,” she answered simply.

Chris nodded. “It was a pleasure,” he said as he, Applejack, and Thunderlane continued on their way.

Lyra’s ears fell as the trio left them where they were. “Why was he in such a hurry to leave?”

“I think you came on a little too strong,” Bon Bon said to Lyra, having noticed Chris’s anxious look after she had hugged him. “I mean, 'greeting like ponies', where you’d come up with that nonsense?”

“Hey, I got him to hug me, didn’t I?” Lyra rebuked. “That sounds like a win to me.”

“If you say so,” Bon Bon said dismissively. “So, what’s your plan now?”

Lyra scratched her chin thoughtfully. “I guess we’ll have to keep shadowing them.”

“You do know that’s just a nicer way of saying 'stalking him'?” Bon Bon reasoned with a shake of her head. “What’s next, do you want to dress in trench coats and wear shades too?”

“You’re right, we should get disguises. That way we won’t look like we’re following them,” Lyra said as she pointed her hoof in a random direction. “To the costume shop!”

“Ugh, it was just a joke,” Bon Bon grumbled.

Canterlot

Keon looked down his nose at the guard pony currently leading him along a quiet hallway. The pegasus was dark gray and was wearing a deep blue armor that was different than that of the guards he had seen previously. He figured that the stallion was more than likely one of Luna’s personal guards.

“So, um, I’m guessing this guard duty is pretty boring, right?” Keon tried sparking a conversation with his escort. “Not like anything dangerous happens in the land of milk and cookies.”

The guard remained silent as he continued to walk.

“Don’t tell me you’re being paid to be quiet. What’s wrong with shooting the shit with me?” Keon prodded.

“First you belittle my occupation and then expect me to indulge in idle chit-chat?” the guard responded in a tight tone. “Your kind sure has a strange way of sparking conversation.”

“Was I wrong in thinking that the Hundred-Acre Wood isn’t known for its crime rate?” Keon said with a smug grin. “But maybe I could’ve started with: What’s your name?”

“I’m known as Nightmane,” the guard answered. Keon bit down on the interior of his mouth to stop himself from laughing at the name. “Why are you under the impression that this place is all kisses and sunshine?” Nightmane continued with a twinge of interest laced in his voice. “You haven’t even stepped hoof outside the palace walls.”

“Could be because one of your princesses treated me to a damn astral light show, just because I was feeling a bit down,” Keon said with a shrug. “I’d be lucky if one of my buddies offered me a beer if I was feeling like shit back where I’m from.”

Nightmane nodded. “I wouldn’t expect the same kindness that you have been treated to within the castle to necessarily carry over to wherever you go. We have some not so friendly ponies and crime just like any of our neighboring countries.”

“So, you mean there’s some actual assholes out there?” Keon asked with a bit of a grin. “Good, I think that’s what I’ve missed most about home so far, the douchebags.”

Nightmane looked perturbed. “Douchebag?”

“Human lingo,” Keon said simply. “Anyway, where is it you’re even taking me to?”

“Princess Luna has requested that you meet with her in her private garden,” Nightmane answered as they began to descend down a flight of stairs.

“The one with the blue roses?” Keon asked having recalled the garden Luna had shown him the previous night.

Nightmane looked at Keon suspiciously. “How did you know?”

“Easy buddy, no need to look at me like that,” Keon reassured. “Luna showed me herself when we went to her balcony last night.”

Nightmane’s eyes slightly widened. “You were with the princess in her private chambers?”

“So, what if I was?” Keon decided to play with the guard. “We weren’t there long though, it was kind of in and out, if you know what I mean.”

Nightmane pursed his lips. “You don’t expect me to believe that Princess Luna…”

“What? Showed me to a good time last night?” Keon cut off Nightmane. “I already told you the princess wanted to cheer me up.”

Nightmane gritted his teeth. “Don’t speak one more word of this.”

“So, you’re telling me you don’t want to hear about the private showing I…” Keon was suddenly pounced on by Nightmane and pinned to the floor.

Nightmane snarled at the human beneath him. “Speak ill of Princess Luna once again and I’ll show you no mercy.”

Keon was quiet as he stared at Nightmane before he flashed a grin befitting an idiot. “Well, well, I guess you’re right, this place isn’t all kisses and sunshine, if you’re willing to kick my ass,” Keon said as he patted Nightmane on the cheek a couple of times.

Nightmane looked confused. “What are you playing at?”

“I just wanted to see what it would take to piss one of you ponies off.” Keon explained. “Sorry it was at Luna’s expense, but I think the look on your face made it completely worth it.”

“To think I’d allow my feathers to be ruffled so easily,” Nightmane said as he made to get off of Keon, but not before a loud voice echoed through the corridor.

“What is the meaning of this Nightmane?” Luna’s voiced boomed.

“I… my sincerest apologies, Princess Luna,” Nightmane said with a deep bow. “I’ll accept any punishment for my transgressions.”

“You don’t need to punish him, I was just being an idiot as usual,” Keon cut in while lifting himself from the ground. “I said some things that pissed him off.”

“Things? And what were these things?” Luna inquired.

“A little of this, a little of that. You know how it goes?” Keon said in an attempt to sweep the whole thing under the rug. The last thing he wanted to do was to tell Luna what he’d been implying to her personal guard.

Luna scrutinized Keon with a calculating stare, causing him to shrink back a little. “Very well,” she finally said. “If nothing that calls for my attention has transpired, then I shall let this go,” she said before turning her attention back to Nightmane. “Thank you for your assistance Nightmane. I will take over from here. Return to your station.”

Nightmane bowed once again. “As you wish, your Majesty,” he said before turning around and excusing himself.

Luna had an unreadable expression as she watched Nightmane leave. “That one has always been obsessively devoted to me. I’d wager that whatever you said pertained to me in some fashion. I can’t imagine anything otherwise that would have set Nightmane off. Am I right Mr. Keon?” Luna asked with a coy smirk.

Keon chuckled nervously. “Would you believe me if I said no?”

Luna merely raised her brow.

“I take that as a no then,” Keon said as he rubbed a sore spot where Nightmane’s hoof had dug into his gut.

“From what I know of you, I’m sure it was in good fun,” Luna said, now starting to walk back down the path from which she had come.

Keon followed after her, choosing not to comment on the situation.

“So, on a lighter note, how did you sleep?” Luna asked.

“Like a baby,” Keon answered truthfully. “Too bad it was accompanied by a long and weird morning.”

“Do tell,” Luna said, using her magic to open a large door they had come to a stop at, the sunlight quickly engulfing the corridor.

Keon winced slightly at the bright light as they continued on into the fresh air of the garden. “Well, first there was the accident in the bathroom.” Keon started. “For some reason Pinkie thought it would be a good idea to hop in the tub with me. If that weren’t enough, she brought her alligator along for the ride.”

“An alligator?” Luna repeated clearly shocked. “That mare can sure prove troublesome at times.”

“True, but I think she’s just innocent to a fault,” Keon reasoned. “I mean, she really looked like she didn’t understand that she was walking all over my privacy. But after that I told her to get out of the tub. That’s when I found the gator.”

“What happened afterwards?” Luna asked, as they had come to a clearing with a lavishly constructed gazebo. Underneath the gazebo a modest assortment of lunch items were waiting for them.

Keon scratched the top of his head in embarrassment as he answered the question. “First I screamed like a little girl and jumped out the bath for all my life was worth. You can probably guess what happened next. Water plus slippery bathroom floor equaled me falling on top of Pinkie, in a pretty suggestive position. It didn’t help that I was buck naked.”

“Oh my,” Luna said as she placed a hoof over her mouth.

“I know what you mean,” Keon said as he took a seat on the opposite side of Luna around the round glass table. “I almost feel like I violated the poor thing. I mean, she bolted out of that bathroom like a bat out of hell.”

“I hope no complications arise from this,” Luna commented thoughtfully.

“Me too, but Twilight was confident that Pinkie will forget the whole thing,” Keon concluded, as he reached for a banana and began to peel it. “But that was just the start of my day, wait until you hear the rest.”

“There’s more?” Luna asked with a smile.

Keon nodded as he told Luna about the incident with Spike and his later man-to-man with him.

Luna found herself nearly breathless after her laughter had ceased. “You truly have no bounds, do you?”

“Nope, if you want restraint, talk to my boy Chris. As for me, I’d like to think being unfiltered adds to my charm, or maybe I’m just an asshole, you decide.”

“I don’t think you’re an…” Luna stopped herself.

“Go on and say it,” Keon offered with a grin on his face.

“It’s not proper etiquette befitting a princess,” Luna protested.

“Fair enough, I know you have an image to uphold, being a princess and all,” Keon said, taking a swig from a glass of tea he had poured himself. “So, now that we’ve shot the breeze, I guess we can get on with what you really called me for.”

Luna placed her own cup of tea down. “Yes, we will discuss in detail how the summit will commence. But before that, there’s the matter of your escort.”

“Twilight told me as much,” Keon confirmed. “I don’t really see the point in it, but if it’s customary or the like, I’m fine with it.”

“That’s good, I’ve arranged you some suitable candidates from my guard, and you’ve already met one in Nightmane,” Luna explained to Keon who had a bewildered expression on his face.

“You mean that dark gray stallion that brought me to you?” Keon asked, obviously taken aback by the implications of such a thing.

Luna chuckled. “I can understand your confusion; however, I assure you, Nightmane is a mare. All of my guard utilize a voice and appearance concealing spell. Tia is very adamant that our guards have the appearance of conformity.”

“You’re saying they all look alike for aesthetic purposes?” Keon asked before shaking his head. “Well, if it’s all the same, I think I’ll just take Twilight up on her offer. It’s not like Nightmane liked me in the slightest, anyway.

“If you’re sure then,” Luna conceded. “Then let’s move on, shall we?”

Ponyville Pool Hall

Chris stared around the pool hall, carefully taking it all in. It appeared pretty standard as far as establishments for billiards went. About ten pool tables were available for use, along with a good number of lounging couches that were present. The atmosphere, however, was strikingly different than that of what he had seen so far of the town.

The inside just wasn’t as colorful. Even a good amount of the ponies appeared more rough around the edges than the overly cheerful looking ones currently bustling around outside. He reasoned that this was probably a hangout spot for Ponyville’s equivalent of delinquents.

Looking down at Applejack, he could tell that she wasn’t thrilled about being there either.

“Where in tarnation is that Lemon Drop?” Applejack grumbled.

“Do I hear the voice of a Honey looking for me?” A voice brimming with conceit sounded from the right of the trio.

Chris looked over to where the voice had come from. Sitting in the middle of a large semicircular couch was a bright yellow pegasus. His dark yellow mane was slicked back, held together with a gross amount of gel. A cutie mark depicting two lemons with dust trails behind them was stamped on his flanks. His look was completed with a large pair of dark orange aviators covering his eyes. Surprisingly enough, he had two mares wrapped under both his forelegs, the remainder of the seats were taken up by four young stallions.

Applejack huffed as she made her way towards the area Lemon Drop and his crew were occupying. Chris and Thunderlane quickly followed her, flanking her on either side.

“So, what brings my Sweet Apple to this neck of the woods?” Lemon Drop started with a cocky grin. “Let me guess, you woke up and realized you just couldn’t live without me, right?”

“Don’t flatter yerself,” Applejack countered, a frown now on her face. “I came to talk business, nothin' more.”

“Come on, my Candy Apple, you know what they say about all work and no play?” Lemon Drop goaded with a chuckle, prompting his goon squad to laugh along with him.

Chris narrowed his eyes at the pony. He was completely thrown off by how Lemon Drop went about talking to Applejack. Balling his hand into a fist, he loudly cracked his knuckles.

“That was gross,” Lemon Drop said as he looked up over his shades towards Chris. “What is that thing anyway? Some pet of yours?” Lemon Drop asked Applejack.

“I’m not her pet,” Chris responded crossly with no attempt to hide his anger.

“Chill bro, you look like you’ve got a case of hemroids or something. Or maybe you’ve had your eyes set on Candy Apple here too. She does have a flank you could bounce a bit off of, am I right?” Lemon Drop preached. The two mares next to Lemon Drop giggled, like the bimbos they were.

“Dude, why do you always act like a complete sleezball?” Thunderlane interjected.

Lemon Drop pretended to think hard on the matter. “Hmm, let’s see, maybe because I don’t want to end up like you: A mareless loser with nothing but a pig headed little brother to keep me company. Seriously, how long have you been throwing hints towards that wall flower Blossomforth, aye? I mean, grow some backbone.”

Thunderlane gritted his teeth and stepped forward. “Get off the couch and we’ll find out if I don’t have any backbone.”

“Nah, I think I like where I am,” Lemon Drop responded with a smug grin. “But I’m sure my buddy Stoutwing would love to go a few rounds with you,” Lemon Drop gestured to the largest of the stallions sitting on the far edge. “He’s been a bit irate lately and pounding you might just be the therapy he needs.”

Chris placed a hand on Thunderlane’s shoulder, who seemed ready to accept the challenge. “He just proved he’s spineless, just let it go.”

Lemon Drop stuck his nose far in the air. “Who are you calling spineless, Pal? This is my turf and I have half a mind to send my boys on you right now.”

“And I have half a mind to put my foot up your ass,” Chris responded to the threat, as he turned to Applejack. “Is he really the only guy you can get? This jerk hardly seems worth the trouble.”

“Everypony ah could think of would be too busy,” Applejack said before turning her attention back to Lemon Drop. “Ah was jus wonderin' if you’d be interested in some work. We ain’t here lookin' for trouble.”

“Some work, huh?” Lemon Drop said with feigned interest. “I don’t know, I think I might need some incentive, if you catch my drift,” Lemon Drop said while blatantly staring at Applejack’s flank.

By that time Chris had already cocked back his fist, entirely ready to slug the pony. Applejack, however, was quicker and bucked the table they were sitting around with tremendous force, sending it sailing over their heads and crashing into the far wall behind them.

The crash of the table had caused the pool hall to become deathly quite, with all eyes now glued to where the disturbance had come from.

Lemon Drop swallowed the lump in his throat nervously, while his goons looked equally as frightened as he did.

“S-so, yeah, you wanted to talk about some work?” Lemon Drop asked as he removed himself from the couch.

Applejack smiled. “Now that’s a mite better, let’s have us a little chat outside.”

Chris stared at the splintered table for a moment in silence. He guessed the heavy wood would have easily been over one hundred and fifty pounds. Yet, Applejack had sent it flying as though it weighed no more than a pillow.

“Hey, Chris, come along will yah?” Applejack said as she and Lemon Drop exited out of the door.

“Are you going to be staying here?” Chris asked Thunderlane.

Thunderlane shook his head. “Nah, I’m not really feeling the mood in here after what just happened. May as well get back home, I’ll have to make up those bits later.”

Chris nodded as he and Thunderlane followed Applejack and Lemon Drop out the door. When they got there Applejack was in the process of giving Lemon Drop a verbal lashing.

“What in tarnation was that all about in there?” Applejack shouted. “You’ve always been ah bit stiff-necked, but never that mean.”

“Alright, I’m sorry” Lemon Drop said with his head cast low. “I’ve got to protect my rep when I’m around the guys, yah know?”

“Yer rep? That’s the type ah image yah want?” Applejack said with a shake of her head. “I know yer better than that. Yer lucky I don’t tell Big Mac bout how yah were goin' about treatin' us in there.”

Lemon Drop looked pale as a ghost. “Anything but that, he’ll flatten me.”

“No, ah won’t tell, ah need yah in good health tah work the farm, after all,” Applejack said with a smug grin of her own. “And that table in there is comin' out of yer pay.”

“Aww, that table looked expensive,” Lemon Drop moaned.

“Tough apples, and ah think yah owe Chris and Thunderlane an apology,” Applejack added.

Lemon Drop looked to Chris and Thunderlane and sighed. “I’m sorry I treated you guys like scum, and Thunderlane, if you ever need any help with the mares, all you need to do is ask,” Lemon Drop said the last part with a self-righteous smirk.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” Thunderlane replied while rolling his eyes.

“I guess you’re not all bad,” Chris reasoned, “but maybe you should try being a little less overbearing.”

Lemon Drop snorted. “Yeah, I’ll consider it.”

Chris sighed. At least it was a start.

Canterlot

Keon stared at himself in a mirror. He had to admit that Tailor Made had done one hell of a job with his suit. It was rather simple, all black with a white undershirt made from an incredibly comfortable material. She’d even thrown in a tie; although, he didn’t ask for one, for the simple reason that he wouldn’t know how to tie the damn thing. He’d simply opted to drape it around his neck rather than deal with it.

Even the shoes she’d made were right for the occasion. Looking down at the shoes on his feet, he realized just how stupid he would have looked wearing his I-paths with dress pants.

Tying his dreadlocks into a ponytail, he beamed at his reflection. “Who’s that sexy ass lookin' nigga right there? Oops, that’s me, my bad,” Keon joked, as he picked up a spraycan labeled "sensual musk". Spraying a bit into the air to get a whiff of it, he gagged.

“Dafuq is that? Stallion ball sweat?” Keon said while tossing the can at a nearby trash bin, missing it of course. “They got another thing coming if they think I’m spraying myself with that shit. I’ll stick with my tried and true cheap cologne.”

The sound of knocking on his door sent his neck turning in that direction. Taking a deep breath he gave himself one last look in the mirror. “Show time,” He said as he exited the bathroom and made his way to the door.

Opening the door, he was surprised to find that it wasn’t Twilight waiting for him, but Pinkie and a guard instead. More surprising than that was that Pinkie had actually knocked. She was dressed in a simple yet elegant dark pink evening gown. Her mane looked like someone had tried to brush it, with little success, however.

“Hiyah!” Pinkie greeted exuberantly. “Ready to meet with all the fancy pants?”

Keon nodded. “I take it this was Twilight’s idea?”

“Yep, you don’t mind do yah?” Pinkie asked hopefully.

“Of course not, I couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime,” Keon said while offering his arm to Pinkie, as a gentlemen would. Pinkie beamed, as she awkwardly laced her foreleg with Keon’s arm. “Now let’s go raise a little hell out there.”

“Alrighty!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Ponyville Train Station

“Now be sure tah come back 'n visit,” Apple Bloom said, as Chris released her, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo from a group hug.

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll do my damndest,” Chris said as he stood up from his knees. “But if this really is goodbye…well, you girls just take care of yourselves, and try not to get into too much trouble.”

“We won’t,” the three crusaders chorused.

“Good,” Chris said, giving the three fillies a final scratch behind their ears.

“Think I’ll miss the ear scratching the most,” Scootaloo said under her breath.

“Chris, are you ready to depart?” Rarity cut in. “The train will be leaving soon.”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Chris said as he stepped onto the train compartment after Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. “See yah, girls,” Chris gave one final goodbye.

“You’ll bring him back won’t you?” Sweetie Belle asked Rarity. “He was a lot of fun.”

“Well, girls, as of now Chris’s future here is uncertain,” Rarity explained. “He could very well be sent back to his own world, once we’ve spoken with the princess. Or perhaps he’ll be asked to stay in Canterlot for his own protection.”

“Then we’ll jus have tah come 'n see him fer ourselves,” Apple Bloom reasoned.

“If it comes tah that I’ll bring yah tah Canterlot mah self,” Applejack reassured them, tilting her hat. “Now, you three scamper along.”

The three crusaders did what they were told and took off, back towards town. No one noticed the two trench coat clad figures sneaking onto the next train compartment.

Chapter 11: Talking with Humans

Chapter 11: Talking with Humans

Chris was lost in his thoughts, as he stared out the train window, watching the scenery pass him by. The city they called Canterlot grew closer with every minute that passed, and with it his fate as well. Since waking up in this new world, he had treaded carefully, always making sure to keep a placid façade around his new acquaintances.

He reasoned that he’d been more than lucky thus far. Escaping from a pack of wooden wolves unscathed, running into a trio of children with their sisters and their friends, who were all eager to help him, and with any luck their princess would be just as ready to help him as they were. Karma perhaps?

He only wished that the circumstances under which he had been brought to this world could have been different. A world where creatures that only existed in fiction were commonplace. How he yearned for the chance to see it all.

Ponyville itself had been a once-in-a-lifetime experience. He still couldn’t believe the pastry shop that they had gone to before leaving for the train station. Even the library was a sight to see, built entirely into a massive tree that had been hollowed out, yet the tree was still alive. Furthermore, from what he was told, Ponyville was little more than a small village. Their world had large cities, monuments and their own natural wonders to be seen, not to mention the wildlife.

“Earth to Chris,” Rainbow Dash said while waving a hoof back in forth in front of his face. “Hey, is anypony home in there?”

Chris blinked a few times before he focused back on Dash. “Huh…wait, what was I saying?”

“You were in the middle of telling us how trains don’t run off of coal where you’re from, before you spaced out,” Rainbow Dash answered, now flying back to her seat.

“Um…are you feeling well, Chris?” Fluttershy asked with concern. “Do you need to lay down?”

Chris grinned sheepishly. “No, I’m good. There’s just so much running through my mind, my thoughts are kind of jumbled.”

“I would have to imagine so,” Rarity added in. “All of this has to be overwhelming. We could leave you to your own, if you would prefer?”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Chris replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Now, like I was saying, our trains did use coal, but we pretty much abandoned steam powered locomotion decades ago. Well, there are some still around, but they’re usually tourist attractions or meant for railroad hobbyists,” Chris explained. “Modern day trains mostly use diesel or diesel-electric power. It’s a lot more efficient, and some can move pretty freaking fast.”

“That sounds…neat,” Fluttershy chimed in, “but scary too.”

“What sounds scary about it? I say, the faster the better,” Dash argued.

“You’re a real fiend for speed huh?” Chris chuckled. “I’ve got a friend who’s really into track. You two would probably get along, at least after she got over the whole 'you’re a talking pony' deal.”

“Why would she…Oh, yeah, ponies can’t talk where you’re from,” Dash reminded herself. “That still sounds kind of weird to me.”

Chris shrugged. “You’d really have to see my world to fully understand it. Although I wouldn’t suggest any of you actually do; it probably wouldn’t be the best idea.”

“Why ever not, Darling?” Rarity inquired. “I’d truly like to see human fashion if the opportunity ever presents itself.”

“Yeah, and I want to see those giant air craft things,” Dash threw in.

Chris scratched his stubble thoughtfully. “First off, the amount of attention you’d get would be overwhelming. You’d be aliens there; I doubt you’d even be able to walk two feet without being swarmed by people clamoring to take pictures and get a glimpse of you.”

“You’re saying we’d be treated like rockstars, aliens or not? That’s awesome!” Dash beamed at the thought.

“…I don’t think I’d like all the attention,” Fluttershy added softly. “…Or being called an alien.”

“Ah wouldn’t like it one bit mah self,” Applejack chimed in. “All yer fancy cameras, flashin' me 'n what not, no siree.”

“Truthfully, I find the idea rather appealing, minus being thought of as a dreadful alien,” Rarity said with a twinkle in her eye. “Not that I think of you as a dreadful alien; you’re actually quite pleasant,” Rarity quickly added.

Chris shook his head at Dash and Rarity “Does it sit well with you, that all that attention would be for the wrong reasons?” Chris asked the fashonista sitting opposite him. “People would just be fascinated with what you are and how different you are. But that’s assuming that you got into the public eye, before our government got their hands on you.”

“Would that be a bad thing?” Fluttershy asked curiously.

“Well, you saw how hesitant I was about seeing your princess,” Chris explained. “That stemmed from the idea that you really don’t know what those who are in charge would do. I mean, I doubt my people have any contingency plan for talking ponies suddenly showing up in our world. How they would respond, I haven’t a clue, apart from what’s been done in movies.”

Meanwhile, Lyra poked her nose over the newspaper she was using to conceal her face, as if the trench coat, fedora and thick shades weren’t enough.

“Did you hear what they were just talking about?” she asked Bon Bon, who was dressed in the same get up as she, although with a different color scheme.

“Yeah, different worlds, people, governments. They all sound like they should be in loony bin,” Bon Bon responded. “I’m not arguing that Chris isn’t weird, but coming from another world... that’s just crazy.”

“It doesn’t sound that crazy,” Lyra countered. “I mean, we haven’t seen any more like him, and he is on his way to meet the princess.”

“Point taken, but I don’t buy it,” Bon Bon said in a dismissive manner. “It’s bad enough that you’ve roped me into your shenanigans again, but don’t expect me to buy into anything so ridiculous.”

“You really need to loosen up a bit Bon Bon,” Lyra said with a shake of her head. “Take the shackles off your mind and open it to the possibilities, you’ll enjoy life more that way.”

“I enjoy life just fine,” Bon Bon said with a frown, not looking entirely convinced with her own words. “You’re the one that’s going to look like a bunch of sour grapes once this silly little game of yours is over.”

“Maybe, but at least I’ll be able to say I had fun while doing it,” Lyra finished while forcibly snapping the newspaper back in front of her face.

“What’s with the fireworks?” Chris suddenly asked, now looking back outside his window towards the city built on the mountain side. In the distance he could see a display of fireworks crackling through the sky. “Seems kind of pointless to use fireworks during the day.”

Rarity gasped dramatically. “That’s the signal reserved for the arrival of our neighboring countries ambassadors.”

“Shit…so, they’re already getting underway then?” Chris asked while opening the large window and sticking his head out into the rushing wind. Frowning slightly he ducked his head back inside. “How much longer until we get there?” he asked with a look of concern on his face.

“'Bout two hours or so,” Applejack answered.

“What? That city's still two hours away?” Chris asked, clearly surprised with the distance they still had left to travel. “It doesn’t look that far off.”

“It’s not really two more hours away,” Dash said. “It’s just that this train stops at Cherry Pit Station and won’t continue on to Canterlot until forty minutes after that.”

Chris sighed. “I was really hoping to get there before anything important got started. If Keon really is there, things might not go over too well for the both of us, with him being the spokesman.”

“Don’t you trust your friend?” Fluttershy asked. “If he’s nice like you, I’m sure everything will work out for the best… Um, hopefully.”

“Yeah, what’s the worst he can do?” Dash cut back in. “Not like he’s gonna start a war or something,” Dash joked, now chuckling.

Chris quirked his brow, silencing Dash’s laughter. “The guy’s a real character, and if hadn’t I known him almost all my life I wouldn’t trust him with a potato gun.”

“A potato what?” Dash asked curiously.

“It’s a…you know, air powered type of cannon?” Chris tried to explain.

“Ah think Pinkie’s got somethin' like that,” Applejack said with an amused smirk. “Although, ahm sure it shoots out party knickknacks and the like.”

Chris just stared at Applejack. “I won’t even ask.”

“That’s probably for the best, Darling,” Rarity reasoned. “When it comes to Pinkie, you’re better off not asking questions.”

“She sounds like a character in her own right,” Chris mused.

“That’s putting it lightly,” Dash said, as a car attendant stopped in front of the group.

Chris stared at the car attendant in fascination. He had heard that griffins were among the sapient beings of their world, but seeing one in the flesh had caught him off-guard. Although, admittedly, he was expecting something with the head of an eagle and body of a lion to look more ferocious.

The only thing intimidating about the griffin was its large beak, considering its talons appeared to have been filed down, leaving them with blunt edges. Its facial features were defined and soft enough that Chris was easily able to tell that the griffin was a female by its looks alone.

‘Amazing,’ Chris thought, taking note that the griffin was actually able to smile, even with a beak.

“Anything off the food cart?” the gray griffin asked the group in a polite tone. She finally took notice of Chris, who was eagerly scribbling in his notepad, occasionally looking back up at her with a large stupid grin. She raised her brow. “Is…he alright?” the griffin asked hesitantly.

Rarity giggled softly. “Forgive our friend, he has never encountered a griffin before, I’m sure he’s just excited.”

The griffin stared at Chris with an unreadable expression before snorting. “Ugh, they don’t pay me enough for this,” she muttered under her breath.

Canterlot

A large, extravagant carriage, covered in decorative foliage, came to a stop on the cobblestone street outside the entrance of Canterlot Castle. The carriage was being pulled by two large bucks, both nearly the size of Celestia herself. The two of them were each sporting a set of impressive antlers.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, along with their royal guard, were present, all standing in the courtyard, waiting patiently for their guest to emerge from within the carriage.

The door to the carriage slowly swung open and a lithe doe gracefully stepped out of it and onto the cobblestone ground. Her coat was almond brown, her mane platinum blonde. She was wearing a set of platinum shoes, along with a large fire red flower tucked between her left ear.

She smiled as she walked with a serene grace towards Celestia and Luna, only to catch one of her forehooves in a crack on the cobblestone surface. She was sent tumbling to the ground, legs tangling together as she tried to prevent her fall, and ended up on her back, with her limbs splayed in awkward and uncomfortable directions.

Her escorts quickly made their way to her. “Queen Deerling, are you okay?” one of them asked in a casual tone, as though her mishap was a common occurrence.

“Kishishishi,” she chortled sheepishly, as one of the bucks made to help her up.

“I see that you’re just as clumsy as ever,” Luna noted with a small smile on her face.

“Hey, I’ve been working on it,” Deerling protested, having finally gotten back to a standing position. “Did you see how graceful I was?”

“I must admit, you had me convinced,” Celestia said with a bright smile of her own.

“Why not practice on ridding yourself of that ridiculous laugh?” a masculine voice interrupted, as something large landed between Deerling, Celestia and Luna with enough force to crack the ground and kick up a cloud of dust.

As the dust began to settle, a bulky figure unfolded itself in the cloud. The large, hulking figure stood to his full height, a massive eight feet, easily towering over Celestia, horn and all.

“Always the charmer, aren’t you, Strong Horn?” Deerling jested to the minotaur.

Strong Horn took a large drag from the cigar clenched between his teeth and blew out a large plume of smoke into the air. He was fully clothed, wearing a pinstriped suit with a large coat draped over his shoulders and a fedora sitting neatly atop his head. “I try,” he replied casually, as he stood next to Deerling.

“Colonel Strong Horn,” Celestia greeted him. “I don’t see your entourage, were there complications with the pegasi that I had sent to bring you by air?”

Strong Horn wiped some dust off his coat. “None to report, just decided to hoof it.”

“Surely you jest?” Luna said with a wide eyed expression. “Ferrum Mons is a ten hour flight for even our guard, seven for myself on a good day, just how long did it take you?”

Strong Horn cracked his neck as he thought about it. “'Bout eight hours, I guess. Could have been quicker if I didn’t stop in that tavern for a few rounds of the good stuff.”

“That’s quite a feat, Colonel. There’s no wonder why General Steel Hoof values you so highly among his officers,” Celestia commented.

“Seems like a big waste of energy if you ask me,” Deerling cut in.

“I needed to blow off the excess energy anyway,” Strong Horn said with a shrug. “Things have been a bit too lax as of late back in Ferrum.”

“There can never be an overabundance of peace,” Celestia stated.

“Easy for you to say, after your scrimmage with the changelings two years ago,” Strong Horn countered. “Is a little knuckle buster too much to ask for?”

“Why don’t you pick up horn wrestling or something then?” Deerling said with an amused grin.

“Those amateurs wouldn’t last two seconds if I got into the ring,” Strong Horn said before taking another drag of his cigar. “Besides that, something of the sort wouldn’t be allowed for an officer of my rank.”

Deerling started reaching for another snide remark, but stopped as she noticed a carriage being towed along in the sky by a set of five griffins.

The griffins circled the area for a moment before picking their landing spot. Descending swiftly, the carriage hit the ground with a loud thump. The carriage slowly crept to a halt as the griffins pulling it slowed down.

The door to the carriage burst open as soon as it had stopped completely. A light brown antelope, with a large pair of curved horns, sprung from the entrance. He landed on the cobblestones and kissed them with gusto.

“Sweet, merciful heavens, solid ground!” he squealed in obvious glee as he continued to kiss it. “I’ll never leave you again.”

Celestia, Luna, Deerling, and Strong Horn stared at the antelope in silence.

“Remind me to never offer a ride to an antelope that’s terrified of heights,” a female voice said from the carriage, as a golden bodied griffin stepped out of it. Her eyes were a shade of sapphire blue, along with the tips of the feathers on her head.

Celestia looked to the antelope with concern. “Will you be okay, Chief Pembe?”

Pembe looked up towards Celestia before bowing deeply. “Princess Celestia, I apologize that you have to see me in such an unsightly state.”

“I’d like an apology for having to sit through you crying like a cub for three hours straight,” the griffin said, clearly irritated.

“I thought I warned you, when you arrived at my estate, that I wasn’t good with heights, Captain Starly,” Pembe countered. “I will not be held responsible for any discomfort you may have experienced. It was all in the consent waiver you signed.”

“What are you saying? I didn’t sign a consent waiver!” Starly argued.

“That’s right you didn’t, my mistake,” Pembe said with a simple shrug.

“Ugh, I’m just thankful that the very embodiment of annoyance is out of my claws,” Starly grumbled, as she walked up to Celestia and Luna and gave a curt bow. “Always a pleasure to see your highnesses.”

“The pleasure is ours,” Celestia responded in kind.

“Not to be blunt, Princess, but what is the meaning of all this?” Strong Horn suddenly cut in. “You were very vague in your summons.”

“That sounds pretty blunt to me,” Starly remarked.

“That will all be discussed in due time,” Celestia said with her ever-present smile. “We still have one more arrival before we may proceed.”

As if on cue, a burst of purple smoke erupted in the courtyard. The smoke funneled in a dome like shape. Ever so often a flash of lighting from within the sphere illuminated the area. A few moments later a cloaked figure stepped out of the sphere and into the courtyard. The sphere behind the figure slowly dissipated into nothing, leaving the area calm once again.

“That was impressive,” Pembe said as the figure removed the hood covering its head, revealing it as a zebra.

The zebra was not much larger than an average pony. Her mane was striped silver and black and that hung limply from her head. Her face looked somewhat weary, giving her a middle aged appearance. Both of her ears were decorated with large golden earrings. A cane with a glass orb on top of it was neatly tucked in the crook of her left foreleg. Finally, a ceremonial head dressing sat atop her head, rounding out her look.

“Elder Zuri? I hadn’t expected you to come yourself, a most welcome surprise,” Celestia greeted her last arrival. “May I add that your rootwork magic is as impressive as ever?”

“Too kind princess, you are,” Elder Zuri responded in a thick accent reminiscent of someone of African descent. She stopped in front of Celestia and Luna before surveying the area. “The visitor, I’ve come to see.”

Luna’s eyes widened slightly while Celestia merely smiled.

“So, that’s why you have come yourself,” Celestia reasoned. “I should have known something of this sort wouldn’t escape you.”

“But how did she know?” Luna whispered to Celestia.

“That’s right, you’ve never had the chance to meet Elder Zuri. She’s a renowned oracle in her native country of Pundamila, and a highly skilled practitioner of hoodoo,” Celestia explained.

Luna quirked her brow. “An oracle, as in seeing into somepony’s future?”

Celestia simply smiled before addressing the gathered ambassadors. “First, I feel I must apologize to each of you for summoning you on such short notice. Had I felt this was not of great importance I wouldn’t have done so. Never the less, I thank you for coming. Now, if you would please follow me into the conference hall, all will be made clear,” Celestia finished with a satisfied grin.

“Please be war,” Strong Horn whispered under his breath with his fingers crossed.

Elsewhere

Keon and Pinkie found themselves sitting at a large wooden table in an empty conference room. Both of their faces showcasing obvious boredom.

“This is boooorrrriiiiinnng,” Pinkie droned, as she dropped her face on the table in defeat. “How long do we have to wait in here? I’m ready to partay!”

Keon nodded in agreement. “Yeah, this blows, but Luna told me she and Celestia are going to give those ambassadors a primer before they call us in.”

Pinkie lifted her face from the table, before she dug through her mane and pulled out two cupcakes. “Want one?” she offered.

Keon looked at the pasty in confusion. For the life of him, he couldn’t spot a single strand of hair on it. Shrugging, he took the offered treat. “I don’t think I've ever met anyone as random as you,” Keon said as he bit into his cupcake.

“My friends think that too,” Pinkie said before stuffing the entire cupcake into her mouth and swallowing it whole, finishing the feat with a loud burp.

Keon chuckled. “Nice one, Pinkie, I think you would’ve put Chris to shame with that one.”

“That was nothing,” Pinkie said as she pulled out a bottle of cola from seemingly nowhere.

‘What the hell? Is she a master of sleight of hand?’ Keon wondered, as he watched Pinkie down the drink in one go.

“Stand back everypony,” she warned before firing off the mother of all burps.

Keon was quiet for a moment, too stunned to respond. “That…was…awesome,” he finally managed to say, after recovering his wits.

“Thanks,” Pinkie said with a triumphant grin. “No pony can belch louder than me.”

“I’m not arguing that,” Keon said, as he went to scratch Pinkie behind the ear. She instantly went stiff, as her tail twitched under her dress at the contact, and Keon quickly pulled his hand away.

“Oh, shit, have I been offending you by doing that?” Keon asked, for the first time considering that petting and scratching behind the ears was a gesture people reserved for animals. “Old habits die hard.”

Pinkie buried her tail between her legs and looked away, trying to hide the embarrassed blush on her face. “No, it’s not offensive,” Pinkie said, sounding far more serious than Keon was used to hearing her. “It's actually really nice. Ponies can’t tickle each other behind the ears like that.”

“I guess they wouldn’t, huh?” Keon said as he looked at his hands. “I never really thought about just how awesome it is to have hands, but being one of the few things here that do have them kind of puts it into perspective for me.”

Pinkie’s tail finally stopped twitching under her dress, and she turned back to face Keon. “Um…Keon,” Pinkie started out slowly. “About your home world?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Keon asked, as he placed his palm under his chin and stared back at Pinkie.

“I was wondering…” Pinkie paused. “Do you really wanna go back, aren’t you having fun here?”

Keon stared at Pinkie for a moment, silently wondering just how good friends she believed that they were. “Look, Pinkie, I’ll be straight with you. Sure, it’s been one hell of an experience so far, and I’ll admit messing with you guys has been pretty fun, if not hilarious, but come on, just look at me.”

“I’m looking at you,” Pinkie said, not sure of what point Keon was trying to make.

“Then isn’t it obvious?” Keon asked. “I don’t belong here, this isn’t my world. I should be back on earth, struggling through school, getting sky high and piss drunk at weekend parties, shooting the shit with my equally stupid friends. You know, just being a normal guy. I can’t have an ounce of normalcy here. Just look at how I’m being coddled by your princesses, because here I’m anything but normal.”

Pinkie seemed to think hard on the matter, before she grinned. “You could have all that here. Miss Cheerilee is a good teacher so you can go to school, and I’ll throw you lots of parties, and we can shoot the shits, and Vinyl told me about happy leaf and…”

Keon shook his head. “It’s not that simple, Pinkie, there’s other things I miss and some things I could never have here,” Keon explained, sounding uncharacteristically somber. “But hell, you know as well as I do, I probably don’t have a choice in the matter at this point. I just wish that I could have at least said goodbye to some people.”

“Ohmygosh, you didn’t have a very special somepony, did you?” Pinkie asked curiously, her eyes bulging.

Keon chuckled. “You know, Luna asked me if Chris was my special somepony, so I take it that means spouse or mate here? Well, anyway, no, I don’t or didn’t.” Keon said, much to his chagrin. “People I would have liked to have said goodbye to boils down to my family. At some point they’ll learn that I went missing and, maybe after a couple of weeks of searching, someone will just decide that I died, probably eaten by something in the jungle. I just wish I could have spared my mom, of all people, the pain of thinking she’d lost one of her babies.”

Pinkie’s ears fell. “I’m sorry, I was being selfish again. I didn’t think about all the other poni…I mean, people that will be sad in your world.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure there’s enough people thinking that the world will be that much better without me,” Keon joked, somewhat laughing, but only receiving a frown from Pinkie in return.

“Don’t say things like that,” Pinkie said a bit crossly. “That’s one less smile in either of our worlds with you gone. And one less bright smile in the world is no good for anypony.”

“You like to see others happy, don’t you?” Keon asked already knowing the answer.

Pinkie nodded. “That’s right, and that’s why I’m going to help you get back home, so you’ll keep smiling,” Pinkie claimed with determination in her voice. “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough, to keep me from getting you home.”

Keon’s eyes widened. “How the hell do you know that song?”

Pinkie blinked a few times in confusion. “Huh, what song?”

“You’re telling me, you saying that was just as a coincidence?” Keon asked, clearly skeptical. “Sometimes you make my brain hurt, you know that?”

“Sorry I made your brainy hurt, do you need a band-aid?” Pinkie offered while simultaneously revealing a band-aid in one of her hooves.

“No, but I could use a tall cold one,” Keon said just as a guard poked his head into the conference room.

“It’s time,” he said, as he stepped fully inside, followed by Twilight.

Keon looked at Twilight, who was wearing an evening dress of her own. “Nice dress,” Keon said looking over his nose at Twilight.

“Thanks, I’ve been allowed to sit and watch the proceedings, so I wore something appropriate,” Twilight explained, as she cantered into the room. “By the way, you guys look great,” Twilight commented while looking at the two approvingly.

“Ahem,” The guard grunted, catching their attention. “They’re ready for you in there.”

“I doubt that,” Keon stated with a mischievous smirk. “Very well fair guard, show us the way.”

The guard rolled his eyes before directing the trio to follow him.

Meanwhile

Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadance, Deerling, Strong Horn, Starly, Pembe, and Zuri were seated around a large, mahogany, crescent shaped table. A smaller table was placed in the middle, reserved for Keon.

“You don’t think Mr. Keon will be upset with the seating arrangements we’ve prepared?” Celestia whispered to Luna. “After all, he will be the center of attention in every sense.”

“I’ve spoken to him about it, remember?” Luna returned. “He’s perfectly fine with it, as he assured me that he’s never been the shy type. Besides, this is the best seating arrangement for everypony to see him and ask their questions.”

“I’m really nervous,” Deerling said, as she fidgeted about in her chair. “My mane looks nice, right? No loose ends?”

Starly snorted. “How’d I get stuck sitting next to you and…” She turned her attention to her left where Pembe was sitting, currently observing his right forehoof with a look of disapproval.

“I think I might have stepped in something,” Pembe said as he stuck his hoof in front of Starly’s face. “Say, Starly, what do you figure this is?”

Starly gritted her beak. “If you don’t remove that limb from in front of my face, so help me, I’ll bite it off.”

“Sorry,” Pembe said as he slinked into his chair, away from the irate griffin.

At that moment Twilight quietly entered the room from a back door. Making her way to the spot that had been saved for her between Cadance and Celestia, she sat down.

“All things are in order, I presume?” Celestia asked of her student.

Twilight beamed. “Keon and Pinkie are just outside of the door, you can call them in at any time now.”

Celestia nodded before standing to her full height and clearing her throat. “My guests, it is with great privilege that I introduce to you, Equestira’s very first inter-dimensional traveler and human, Mr. Keon Ikner,” Celestia finished, as her horn began to glow, incasing the large doors in a shroud of magic and opening them slowly.

As the doors opened, the sound of laughter instantly flooded the room. The ambassadors continued to look on, as they finally got a view of what they had come to see.

The dark skinned, bipedal creature stood next to a pink pony that was rolling on the ground as she laughed.

“So, then I was like…oh, shit!?” Keon said, as he finally noticed that the doors that they had been standing in front of had opened.

Pinkie laughed harder before finally processing what Keon had said. “Wait, that’s the punchline? ...I don’t get it,”Pinkie said, as she stood up from the ground and scratched the top of her head.

“No, I mean 'oh, shit, the door is open and everyone’s staring at us like we're a couple of idiots',” Keon explained.

“Oh…well, that’s funny too,” Pinkie reasoned as she quickly brushed her dress off and stood at attention.

“No point in waiting out here, I guess, let’s go say hello,” Keon said, now walking into the conference room with Pinkie at his side.

Keon silently took note of the shocked expressions, apart from Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Armor and Twilight, only the small zebra seemed to have a good poker face. Even Strong Horn’s cigar was on the verge of falling out of his mouth.

‘Wait, where the hell did he get the cigar from?’ Keon wondered, having to do a double take at the large minotaur, who was oddly enough dressed in a pinstriped suit.

“Whoa, he’s a pretty tall fellow ain’t he?” Pembe whispered. “Well, nothing like Strong Horn, but tall all the same.”

“We’d all be tall if we stood on our hind legs,” Deerling reasoned. “But imagine how silly that would look,” she finished with a giggle at the thought.

“So, that’s the human, huh?” Starly said, slightly raising her brow. “Truthfully, he looks like something I’d consider eating,” she finished with a lick of her beak.

Deerling and Pembe grimaced.

“I rather not hear about you fancying the idea of eating the only human our world has known,” Deerling remarked with a frown.

Starly shrugged. “Just speaking the truth.”

Walking directly to the table he knew was provided for him, he pulled out one of the chairs and held it for Pinkie. “Ladies first,” he offered.

Pinkie giggled as she hopped into the offered chair. “You’re such a gentlecolt,” she teased.

“That I am,” Keon claimed, as he pulled out his own chair, sat in it and stared at the gathered ambassadors. “So, what’s up?” he asked casually, only to be greeted with silence. “Uh-oh, Pinkie, looks like we’re dealing with a tough crowd.”

“My honored guest, Mr. Keon.” Celestia began with a warm smile. “It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to our neighboring countries official envoys. Elder Zuri, great elder from the Nyeusi tribe of south Pundamila.” Celestia started from her right. “You’ve already met both Cadence and Shining Armor,” she continued on, skipping over Twilight and Luna for obvious reasons. “Queen Deerling, ruler of the metropolitan forest of Stagland. Chief Pembe, head of the Swara, one of three great noble families of Ethilopia. Starly, Captain of the griffin air armada, stationed in Volare. Finally, Colonel Strong Horn…”

Without warning, Strong Horn suddenly slammed his fist on the table, interrupting Celestia and bringing all attention to him. Standing to his full height, he stared at Keon, who was looking at the minotaur as though he’d lost his mind.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Strong Horn said with force. “Have you come to declare war on our lands!?”

“If so, we submit,” Pembe added with a nervous chuckle.

Strong Horn glared at Pembe, prompting the antelope to shrink further away.

“Uh…no,” Keon finally managed to answer the minotaur, having recovered from his initial shock at the outburst.

“Are you sure?” Strong Horn pried. “Not even a little scrimmage?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Keon confirmed.

“Damn,” Strong Horn cursed under his breath, as he sat back down in his seat.

“Colonel, I thought I made it clear our visitor has come in peace,” Celestia said, seemingly disappointed with Strong Horn’s actions.

“Besides an accusation like that is ridiculous, considering that Mr. Keon was brought here through unforeseen circumstances,” Shining Armor cut in.

Strong Horn took a deep drag of his cigar and blew the smoke out through his nostrils. “I forgot, an EON just dropped this hyoman off right on your doorstep and went on its merry way?”

“I’m pretty sure Princess Celestia called him a human,” Starly corrected the minotaur.

“That’s what I said,” Strong Horn replied with a snort. “But I don’t understand the objective this EON had for bringing the hyoman here.”

“That makes two of us,” Keon jested.

Starly rolled her eyes at Strong Horn’s second mispronunciation. “From what I hear, EONs are pretty pesky animals that don’t work with any rhyme or reason,” Starly explained to the pair.

“You know something about them?” Deerling questioned. “Today is the first I’m hearing of such a creature.”

“I don’t know much about them, apart from what I’ve heard in tall tales. So, I wouldn’t take it at face value,” Starly explained. “In the griffin kingdom of Volare, EON’s were used as a ploy to frighten young griffins away from the valley of the changing seasons. It was said that any griffin that wandered in would be taken away by them… never to return! Muwhaha!” Starly chuckled with the conclusion of what she deemed a spooky story.

“So, EONs are the griffin’s version of a boogeylope?” Pembe questioned.

Starly shrugged. “I don’t even know what a boogeylope is. But like I said, they were only used to keep thick skulled cubs out of the valley of the changing seasons. I never considered if they were actually real or not.”

“When I heard that EONs where a part of this matter, I began delving into their history,” Twilight chimed in. ”Ponies have gone missing because of them, so the superstition in Volare isn’t baseless. Although, I’m confident that the valley of the changing seasons wasn’t their nesting grounds, so that doesn’t add up.”

“That’s assuming they haven’t moved on from their old homes,” Keon argued. “From what you first told me, ponies stopped studying them about two thousand years ago, right? And it’s been fifteen hundred years since they were last seen. They probably just moved on from their original nesting grounds.” Keon grinned. “At least I know where I’m going when this is all over, valley of the changing whatever.”

Twilight looked nervous. “I’m afraid that it won’t be so easy.”

“Why not?” Keon asked curiously, not liking the look on Twilight’s face.

“Because that place is one of the seven anomalies of our world,” Luna answered. “Land masses where magic runs rampant and untamed.”

Twilight nodded. “Along with the valley of the changing seasons, there’s also the Everfree Forest, the Tilting Island, the Mirage Dessert, the Roaring Canyon, the Frost Jungle, and Gluttony Woods,” she recited. “All of them are dangerous, the valley and Gluttony Woods being particularly nasty examples of the seven.”

“Of course, shit just couldn’t be easy,” Keon grumbled. “But I’ll worry about that later.”

Celestia looked perturbed. If the EONs really had migrated to a place such as the valley of the changing seasons, procuring one had just gotten a great deal more difficult. However, now was not the time to dwell on the matter, she reasoned.

“I believe we shall hold off on that matter until a later time,” Celestia said. “As for now, I’m sure that the assembled guest here have quite a few questions,” Celestia finished, looking to see if any of the ambassadors wished to take the floor.

Deerling quickly stood up from her seat, already grinning in excitement. However, she was interrupted by Starly, before she could speak.

“Do humans eat meat?” Starly asked bluntly.

“Honestly, we have an inter-dimensional being in our midst, and all you care about is what he eats?” Deerling shook her head.

“Sorry, we griffins have no interest in gizmos and gadgets as you deers do. I’m just looking for some common ground, not what great technology he has in his world,” Starly explicated.

Keon looked at the griffin curiously. In truth, he hadn’t expected to be asked such a simple question, but he answered all the same. “Yeah, we eat meat, along with anything else editable that won’t make us sick or kill us. Trust me, I doubt you’ve ever met anything that has a diet like a human.”

“Interesting, so how exactly does a human go about catching its food?” Starly pried. “You don’t look too strong or fast, no claws either.”

“Well, I don’t go out and catch my own chickens or butcher my own cows and pigs if that’s what you were wondering,” Keon explained, not paying attention to the appalled look on Pembe’s face. “Sure, there’s still some humans that go out and hunt for their own food, but mostly in uncivilized circles. In modern civilizations we have a market that does all the farming for meat for us. And no, the cows don’t complain about us eating them, because they’re just animals in my world.”

“Wait, I don’t understand, what do you mean by farming meat?” Pembe asked curiously. “I mean, does meat grow out of the ground in your world?”

‘Holy hell, this guy’s an idiot. And how do I explain slaughter houses to a bunch of talking animals?’ Keon thought, wondering how they would take it. ‘Whatever, if they don’t like it, tough,’he reasoned, only to be beat to the punch by Starly.

“What kind of imbecile are you?” Starly asked the antelope harshly. “Didn’t you know we griffins farm our livestock as well? We have farmers that raise the animals we eat, until they’re mature enough for the slaughter, then distribute it. Admittedly, a lot of griffins have lost touch with their inner predator and woud rather just buy their food. Me on the other claw, I’d rather hunt for my own, however, not every griffin is as old fashioned as I.” Starly grinned wickedly. “You humans are a species after my own heart, I fully welcome you to our lands.”

“Well, thanks, I guess,” Keon said with an unsure grin.

“Think nothing of it, and if you’re ever in Volare, the fried coacktrice wings are on me,” Starly offered.

“Sure, I’ll bring the hot sauce,” Keon quipped.

“Hahaha,” Starly chuckled. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Ahem,” Deerling interrupted. “Now that we’ve talked about the similar eating diets of humans and griffins, let’s move on to actual worthwhile questions,” Deerling said, as she beamed at Keon. “Hello fair human…I mean, Mr. Keon, I am Queen Deerling,” she started. “If it’s not too much trouble, do you believe you can explain exactly what humans are like?”

‘Damn it, another Twilight.’ Keon sighed as he rubbed his temples, while Deerling only looked excited. “Humans are like…well, honestly I never really thought about something like that, but I’ll say that we’re different. Every single person I’ve ever met is different in their own way, be it for good or bad. They’re dreamers, philosophers, murders, leechers, believers, partiers, mothers, fathers, protectors, assholes, extremist, pretty much anything you could think of, there will be a human that fits the bill for it. So, telling you what we are like can’t be given a simple answer, because we’re all different. Pretty much humanity in a nut shell.”

“So, what are you like then?” Deerling continued.

Keon scratched his beard in thought. “I don’t know…I guess I’m kind of laid back, pretty rude, sardonic at times, and don’t too much care for authority.”

“And are all hyomans like this?” Strong Horn asked.

“Hard-of-hearing?” Keon mocked the minotaur. “Didn’t I just say we’re all different?”

Strong Horn narrowed his brow before he let out a small chuckle. “You’ve got some backbone for a creature so puny.”

“Careful who you insult, after all, you’re part human yourself,” Keon said with a satisfied smirk at the look of confusion on the minotaur’s face.

“What mockery is this?” Strong Horn argued. “I’m a strong and proud minotaur, not a tiny hyoman.”

“Well, at least according to our mythology, your species is part man, part bull. Although, they definitely got the savagery part wrong about you guys, I’m mean, look how nicely you’re dressed.”

“Minotaurs exist as myths in your world?” Deerling piped up. “That’s strange.”

Luna nodded her agreement. “Not just minotaur,s but humans have conjectures of a great deal of our inhabitants. Unicorns, pegasi, griffins and dragons being among them.”

“Really?” Starly looked interested. “And what do your myths say about us griffins?”

“I never formally studied greek myth, but from what I know, griffins were supposed to be brutal man eaters and the greatest enemy of the pegasi,” Keon said to Starly, who seemed to actually have a glint of pride in her eyes.

“So, that’s why you look so appetizing,” Starly muttered, but still speaking loud enough that everyone could hear her, eliciting awkward stares in her direction.

“Make sure me and her never end up alone together,” Keon whispered to Pinkie.

Pinkie saluted. “Will do.”

Keon nodded before turning his attention back to the gathered guests. “You know, I’m starting to wonder just how much of our mythology is only conjecture,” Keon said. “Maybe all those ancient crackpots that came up with that shit weren’t full of crap, but saw it for themselves, just like I am now. Although, I haven’t heard that you guys have centaurs, or satyrs, so I guess that there’s some exceptions.”

“What are those?” Twilight asked.

“Just some more weird hybrids, like our minotaur friend,” Keon offered for an answer.

“Hypothetically speaking, what do you intend to do here in the long term if your plans to return home don’t come to fruition?” Deerling questioned.

“I’ve been trying not to think about the ‘what ifs’,” Keon said. “But if it comes to it, guess I’ll try to live my life the best I can here. There’s not really much I can do outside of that, right?”

“Do you wish to establish a colony in Equestria?” Pembe ventured to ask. “I’m sure we could fund such a goal.”

“Considering I’m the only human here, no,” Keon deadpanned, slightly amused with the question. “I plan on dying and taking humanity in this world with me, it’s that simple.”

“You weren’t lying about being sardonic,” Cadance chimed in.

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Keon said, as he brought his attention to the only occupant that hadn’t spoken yet, the zebra. She was staring attentively at him with a stoic expression on her face. Keon quirked his brow at the pony sized zebra. “You’ve been pretty quiet, nothing on your mind, miss zebra?” He asked, looking directly at the zebra.

“The cards have told all that one wishes to know,” Zuri said, as she waved her front hoof revealing a deck of cards.

“You’re a fortuneteller or something?” Keon asked, staring at Zuri as she shuffled the deck of cards with enough flare to make a magician envious.

Zuri pushed her chair back and stepped down, prompting curious stares from the other occupants, apart from Celestia. Making her way over to Keon, she stood in front of the table and scrutinized him with a weary eye, as she spoke in a sing-song voice. “The cards, will tell, the past, the present, and the future as well,” she finished, as she shuffled the deck of cards once more and spread them out in front of Keon.

Keon looked amused. ‘Not everyday you get your fortune read by a tarot card reading, talking zebra,’ he mused, finding the idea impossibly ridiculous. “Alright, Miss Cleo, what’s in the cards?”

Pinkie scooted over to get a better look at the cards. “Ooh, I love fortune telling, I even do it myself when I’m using my Madame Pinkie persona.”

“Did I mention you’re random?” Keon japed, now eyeing the face down cards before him. “So, what now?”

“I know, I know, pick three.” Pinkie suggested, getting a nod of approval from the zebra.

Shrugging, Keon slid three random cards from the bunch. Zuri quickly placed a hoof over the cards to stop Keon from picking them up off the table. Spreading the three chosen cards out evenly before Keon, she flipped one over.

Keon stared at the picture on the card in surprise. The picture wasn’t him per se, but instead that of a young, dark child of maybe eight. ‘Well, this is getting weird,’ he thought, as Zuri began to speak.

“Born the second child, to a family of six. The passing of a father bringing many a conflict,” she recited the couplet before flipping the card over once again, revealing that the cards image had changed to a slightly older child playing with another.

Keon’s eyes widened, for a mixture of reasons. The accurate portrayal of his past being one of them, along with the fact that Keon was sure that the new image was one of him and Chris.

Continuing where she left off, Zuri recited, “A troubled soul in your youth. Springing acts that were most uncouth. The meeting of another in your past. Your rampant temperament was not to last. A friendship blossomed both strong and true. Making for a much more better you.”

Keon shook his head in mild frustration. “…How did you…fortune tellers are supposed to be nothing but con-artist. This shit can’t be real.”

Zuri hadn’t shown if she were offended by the remark, but opted to turn over the middle card.

Keon studied the card, depicting a vague image of him, Chris and six ponies. Two of the ponies he recognized as Twilight and Pinkie, the other four he was sure he hadn’t seen. “What is this?” he muttered, considering this image was supposed to depict his present, or at the very least his immediate future.

Zuri began to recite in the same manner as before. “A fated reunion is swiftly at hand. Embarking on a journey across our land. Searching for the key to open the way. The elements of six won’t lead you astray. Although your resolve will soon be tested. Your heart and values must not be bested.”

Keon was quiet as he mulled over what Zuri had said. For the most part he understood what she was getting at. Chris was obviously the fated reunion in the poem. That was good, Chris was there, and not dead, and the journey was self explanatory. The elements of six he figured were the six ponies in the card. The last section, however, left him scratching his head. What was his resolve, he wondered? He knew that he wanted to get home, that much was certain, he couldn’t imagine anything to make that goal waver. Frowning, he looked at the final card. “So, what’s behind door number three?” he quipped.

Zuri’s face appeared slightly more serious as she pushed the final card towards Keon. All eyes were now locked on the last card.

Zuri looked over her shoulder and glared at everyone behind her, who were practically leaning over the table at this point. “This final card is for his eyes and his eyes alone,” she barked.

Celestia and company retreated back to their chairs and pretended as though they weren’t interested any longer.

Satisfied, Zuri turned her attention back to Keon. “The choice is yours to view that card, but take heed…” Zuri never got to finish as Keon wasted no time in grabbing the card and bringing up to his face.

He looked at the card for a moment in complete silence, before he let out a hearty laugh. “Sorry, grandma, but I think you might be slipping. Ain’t no way in hell this is my future,” he said, as he made to hand the card back to Zuri.

Zuri frowned, refusing to take back the card. “My cards tell no lies,” she said with a look bordering on smug. “That card is a gift from me to you.”

“So, what’s on it?” Pinkie asked, either forgetting or not caring that she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Sorry, Pinkie, I’m supposed to keep this to myself,” he reiterated while stuffing the card into an empty pocket. “Zebra’s orders, not mine. It’s too bad, you might get a kick out of it.”

After Zuri had taken back her seat, Deerling was quick to speak once again.

“Celestia tells me that the human race prides themselves on their ingenuity, not unlike us deers,” Deerling stated.

“You can say that,” Keon agreed. “I mean, we did put someone on the moon…without magic,” Keon said, directing a coy smirk towards Luna. “But sometimes people are a little too ambitious, and we’d probably be better off without some things we’ve come up with.”

“Care to share?” Cadence inquired.

“Ever heard of the phrase 'there’s more than one way to skin a cat'?” Cadance shook her head 'no' in response to the question.

“Let’s just say we’ve come up with a surprising amount of ways to snuff out each other’s lives,” Keon said.

“Are humans at odds with one another?” Armor interjected. “You don’t give off the presence of a race that revels in violence.”

Keon raised his brow, clearly amused with Armor’s apparent critique on humans, with only himself for reference. ‘I’d like to have see the look on his face, had I brought a history book with me,’ he mused. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say humans revel in violence, but we can be prone to it. When people want something they might not ask for it too politely. But like I’ve said, humans are different. For every screw job there’s someone willing to give away their own shoes to a homeless guy. Our race can never be split between black and white, because there’s just too much gray.”

“So eloquently put,” Luna teased.

“Poetic, wasn’t it?” Keon quipped. “And it helps that I had plenty of time to come up with some cheesy things to say, just for this occasion.”

“You certainly seem to be taking this all in stride,” Pembe commented offhandedly. “If I were you, I would have died of fright by now.”

“This place is as scary as a child’s coloring book,” Keon said with a shrug.

“That’s quite a statement, considering you’ve yet to leave the city of Canterlot,” Pembe argued. “Feral beasts, carnivorous plants and perilous terrain awaits beyond this safe haven.”

“Wow, that does sound scary,” Keon said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure we have a different idea of scary.”

“Are you insinuating that you’re braver than I?” Pembe challenged. “I’m a battle tested warrior and an expert with a sword,” Pembe said while reaching at his side. “That’s odd, where’s my blade?”

“You don’t have a blade, and you’ve never seen battle,” Strong Horn confirmed with a shake of his head.

“Oh, that’s right, I have no experience with a sword, and I’m quite the coward,” Pembe said, much to his own chagrin.

“Something wrong with him?” Keon asked curiously.

“Excuse Pembe, he will occasionally lapse into a state of witlessness,” Starly explained. “Just ignore the dumb things that come out of his mouth, it’ll save you the headache.”

Pembe snorted but said nothing further on the matter.

“I must admit the proceedings are going far better than I would have expected,” Celestia whispered to Luna. “Keon has been surprisingly…behaved.”

Luna nodded her agreement. “You’re right dearest sister, he’s only sworn seven times by my count.”

Celestia and Luna shared a laugh with one another.

“I only hope his reception party will go as smoothly. He will be exposed to a much larger audience, after all,” Celestia said, thinking of all the nobles and those of high social standing that had been sent invitations.

“Don’t get your hopes too high,” Luna warned. “I’ve checked over all the orders Pinkie Pie made out under your name for the festivities and well...”

“Well what?” Celestia asked.

“She’s ordered enough alcohol to put a dragon in a coma. Not to mention, there’s a number of oddities she’s requested. A couple of ping pong tables, rolls of duct tape, stop watches, playing cards, shot glasses, dice, coins, a twenty foot bungee cord, an extremely large chess board, cardboard boxes, rope and that’s only some of it.”

Celestia looked more amused than concerned at hearing the items Pinkie had ordered. “What is that mare planning?”

“I haven’t the slightest,” Luna admitted. “I never did quite understand her. I just hope the party doesn’t get too out of hoof.”

Meanwhile

Chris found himself leaning against the railing of the caboose compartment, watching Cherry Pit station shrink ever smaller as the train sped away from it. He had reluctantly stayed on the train when they had stopped at Cherry Pit station. He figured there was no point in bringing unnecessary attention to himself when it could be avoided.

The girls had fully understood his concerns and were generous enough to bring him one of Cherry Pit station's famed cherry pies. He admitted that the pie was damn good, and he wasn’t even a fan of cherries.

Taking out his notepad, he skimmed over some of the things he had written, mostly comparison analysis of his ponies and theirs. He wondered if there was even any point of comparing them, when their similarities ended at them being equines. What could have triggered the ponies of this world to evolve in such a manner was a question he wanted answered above all else. Stuffing the notepad back into his pocket, he sat down in one of the two chairs that had been conveniently placed there.

He assumed that he had a good deal of time before the others got worried about him and would come out looking for him. In the mean time, he was content to simply stare at the passing scenery immersed in his own thoughts.

A moment later the door leading to the deck of the caboose opened up and a gruff looking creature stepped onto the deck.

Chris stared at the creature for a moment. It looked like an old brown bulldog, standing on its hind legs at about five foot nothing. Its forearms, however, were comically bulky, reminiscent of Popeye. It was also sporting a dark vest. If Chris remembered correctly, Fluttershy had described a similar looking creature to him that she had called a diamond dog.

The diamond dog looked at Chris before grunting in annoyance. “Thought there’d be no one else out here,” he said as he reached into one of the pockets of his vest and pulled out a pack of what Chris was sure were cigarettes. “You don’t mind, do yah?”

“Go for it,” Chris responded. “Actually, you mind if I bum one off you?”

The diamond dog gave Chris a questioning look. “You know what these are, Sonny? They aren’t too good for your health, you know?”

Chris nodded. “I know as much, I just could really go for a smoke right about now, it’s been a stressful couple of days.”

The diamond dog shrugged as he handed one of the brown sticks to Chris. Chris stared at the would be cigarette, before giving it a careful sniff. “Doesn’t smell like tobacco,” Chris commented, as he watched the diamond dog use a match to light his own.

The diamond dog took a deep drag of his before handing Chris the matches. “That there’s made from kasper leaves. Only minotaurs smoke that awful tasting tobacco.”

Chris shrugged as he lit his own and took a deep drag. “Damn that’s good,” he said with a nod of approval, "beats what we got back home, anyway.”

“Back home, huh? And where might that be?” the diamond dog asked, half interestedly.

“Somewhere far, far away,” Chris said, trying to gloss over the subject.

“I get it, ain’t none of my business,” the diamond dog said while taking the remaining chair for himself. “Name’s Skip by the way,” he said while offering a clawed paw towards Chris.

“Chris,” Chris said, as he shook Skip’s paw firmly.

Skip grinned, as he leaned back in his chair. “So, what business you’ve got in Canterlot, just sightseeing?”

“Something a little more important than that,” Chris said, as he stared at the diamond dog curiously. “I was hoping to get an audience with the princess.”

“The princess?” Skip repeated. “You get into something with one of the locals?”

“No, I’m not in that type of trouble. Just looking for some assistance, really.”

“Well, good luck with that,” Skip said. “The princess is always getting hassled by some pony over something trivial. You might find yourself on a waiting list,” Skip said while giving Chris a once over. “…But then again, you are from far, far away, so maybe they’ll make an exception for you.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for anyway,” Chris said, taking another drag of his cigarette. “So, what are you heading to Canterlot for?”

“I’m in the trade business,” Skip answered. “Those ponies in Canterlot don’t too much fancy getting their hooves dirty searching for diamonds. So, we diamond dogs get plenty of work from them. I’m on my way to drop off an order now.”

“Didn’t realize your name meant something so literal,” Chris commented. “Even so it must be tough finding diamonds, as a profession.”

Skip shook his head as he flicked his nose with one of his claws. “If you were born with a bad nose maybe. As for me, I can sniff out a gem a mile away.”

“That’s lucky, you must rake in the cash,” Chris reasoned, as he tossed the butt of his cigarette over the railing.

“I make do, but trading gems isn’t the most profitable venture,” Skip admitted with a sigh.

“Why the hell not?” Chris asked, clearly surprised.

It was Skip’s turn to look surprised. “They’re just gems, there a bit a dozen. Anypony with a decent gem tracking spell can put a diamond dog out of work.”

“So, precious stones are common place here then?” Chris said more to himself than Skip. “That’s crazy.”

“You really are from far away, aren’t yah?” Skip said while flicking the rest of his own cigarette overboard.

“You can’t tell by looking at me?” Chris asked.

“Meh, I’ve seen creatures from all walks of life,” Skip answered. “Eventually you just stop making assumptions of critters on just what they look like.”

“Is that so? I know a few people that could learn a little bit about tolerance from you,” Chris said, recalling a few assholes he’d met in his life.

Skip chuckled. “So, what kind of business are you in, Chris?”

“None at the moment, I mean, I’m still a student. But after schooling and everything I was aiming to become a wildlife educator and naturalist.”

“A wild life educator, huh?” Skip said, looking slightly perturbed. “You’ve got some guts to want to get into a profession like that.”

“How so?” Chris asked in confusion. Originally, he’d thought that this new world would be full of strange and dangerous animals, especially after his encounter with the timberwolves, but for the most part the animal company Fluttershy had kept was no different than that of his world. He didn’t argue that some animals could be dangerous, but Skip made it sound like he had a death wish.

“Aren’t you the one looking to get into that field? Don’t you even know what lurks in places like the Everfree Forest, Gluttony Woods, and the Frost Jungle?”

“I told you, I’m from pretty far away,” Chris reasoned. “The only thing I’m sorta familiar with is the Everfree and its timberwolves, so you’ll have to fill me in on what else hides out there.”

Skip stared at Chris silently, before he chuckled gruffly. “Timberwolves may as well be cute little puppies, when you think of what else lives out in those places. Ursas, chimeras, asura tigers, mammoth bears, desert sharks, wall penguins, and salamander sphinxes, just to name a few.”

Chris couldn’t wipe the grin off his face even if he tried.

“This is the part where you’re supposed to start quaking in fear. So, why are you grinning?” Skip asked.

“I can’t help it, the thought of seeing so many animals never seen by human eyes it’s like a dream, you know what I mean?” Chris responded with enthusiasm.

“No, no, no, it’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare,” Skip argued. “You have any idea what an asura tiger is?” Chris shook his head no in response. “Imagine a beast about forty meters from head to tail, six legs and three heads fused together.”

“Six arms and three heads, like an asura of Buddhism?” Chris muttered to himself. ‘Damn, this world is nuts.’

“Don’t know what Buddhism is, but you get the idea? Anyone crazy enough too willingly expose themselves to animals like that, either have guts or are looking for an extremely painful death,” Skip concluded.

“I see, but if these animals are so frightening, what keeps them from coming out and having their way with the populace?” Chris asked, growing increasingly more interested.

“I guess they like where they are,” Skip theorized. “The truly fearsome beasts only make their homes in one of the seven anomalies.”

“Seven anomalies?” Chris repeated.

“You’re kidding, right?” Skip said while digging in his ear to remove any wax that may have been hampering his hearing. “Just how far away did you say you were from?”

“I didn’t,” Chris answered.

Skip shook his head. “Boy, your nose is about as wet as a new born pup, to have never heard of the seven anomalies.”

At that moment the door slowly creaked opened and Fluttershy poked her head out. “Um…Chris, are you out here?” she asked softly. Spotting the diamond dog first, Fluttershy made to apologize and retreat inside, but stopped when she noticed Chris was there as well.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” she asked. “If you want, I can leave and come back.”

“Actually, little missy, I was thinking of heading back in myself,” Skip said, as he stood up from his chair. “Canterlot is about thirty minutes away, best to be getting my things in order. You take care of yourself, Chris, and for Celestia’s sake, do some real studying before you go out and get yourself killed,” Skip finished, as he stepped around Fluttershy and back into the train.

“What was that all about…if you don’t mind my asking?” Fluttershy said once she was sure Skip was out of earshot.

Chris was quiet for a moment before finally addressing her. “Fluttershy, what do you really know about the animals in this world?”

Chapter 12: Reunion Party

Reunion Party

Fluttershy stared at Chris, as she contemplated the question that had been asked of her. Although she would on occasion pick up a book on the subject, she didn’t consider her reservoir of scholarly knowledge regarding animals very vast. In fact, most of what she knew had come naturally and from hooves-on experience.

“I’m not sure I understand that question…” Fluttershy said in her usual soft voice. “Is there something specific you had in mind?”

Chris shook his head no in response. “What I mean is, apart from your woodland friends, what do you know about the animals that inhabit the Everfree and other places like it?”

“Oh…you mean the more scary kind of animals, like cockatrices, hydras and timberwolves?” Fluttershy clarified. “Well, I’ve only ever seen a few that had come from the Everfree. That place is just so scary. But Twilight did give me a book on the known critters that live there and some are quite frightening. Just thinking about the Everfree makes me nervous,” Fluttershy concluded.

“Maybe if you understood them more, you wouldn’t be so afraid,” Chris reasoned. “I remember when I was terrified of spiders. A pretty common fear back home, but after handling and learning about them, it wasn’t long before I came to like them. I’ve even got a rose hair tarantula of my own now.”

“You keep a spider? That’s, um…nice.”

“I wouldn’t call her nice; she’s the most hateful thing on eight legs,” Chris said with a light chuckle. “She’ll show her fangs to anyone, including me, and flicking hairs at Keon is her favorite pastime. I’ve lost track of how many times he’s threatened to squash her for it.”

“…Oh, Keon really shouldn’t get angry with her, I’m sure that’s just her way of showing affection,” Fluttershy said, appearing rather upset.

“Actually, I think she just likes to antagonize him but don’t get the wrong idea, Keon’s not actually serious about his threats,” Chris said, as his lips creased into an amused smirk.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said quietly, as her ears fell to the side of her head. “…I didn’t mean to accuse your friend of being cruel.”

Chris waved her apology off. “It's fine, I should have thought about how sensitive you are before I said that. You’ll have to forgive me; my sense of humor can be a bit…mordant.”

Fluttershy smiled. “It’s nice to hear you talk about yourself... not that you have to…it’s just uh, humans are so interesting, no, I mean… oh, never mind,” Fluttershy stammered, as she became quite interested in her own hooves.

Chris merely looked thoughtful. “I guess I have been sorta tight lipped about who I am as a person.” He shrugged. “To be honest, it all seemed kind of moot when I have such an uncertain future here. I guess maybe I thought who I am, is a bit trivial in the scheme of what’s going on.”

“Oh, but it’s not trivial at all,” Fluttershy countered, as she turned back to face Chris. “…I mean, we may as well get to know each other with the time we have right? We’re friends after all.”

“Friends?” Chris muttered to himself, too softly for Fluttershy to hear. ‘Are we friends? Acquaintances seem more appropriate, but obviously they have different social norms than people,’ Chris mused. After a moment he grinned at Fluttershy. “Yeah, we’re friends.”

Fluttershy beamed before raising a question of her own. “Um, Chris, I’d almost forgotten, but why are you suddenly interested in the animals of the Everfree?”

Chris hadn’t realized that they had gotten away from his original question, and his expression resumed its exuberance, as he answered her. “I just had an interesting talk with that diamond dog you saw, and he mentioned some things that piqued my interest.”

“Really?” Fluttershy asked, giving her full attention. “What kind of things?”

“He said something about the seven anomalies…” Chris was suddenly cut off by Fluttershy letting out a shrill squeak in fear.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked with concern, moving towards Fluttershy whom had dived for cover, now shaking like a leaf.

“Heavens, Darling, why would you be interested in such ghastly places?” Rarity suddenly spoke from the door that had been left ajar. “Sorry to intrude, I came to assist Fluttershy in her search for you and couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.”

“That’s Rarity talk for, 'I was eavesdropping',” Rainbow Dash cut in, as she pushed the door fully open.

Rarity turned her nose up in protest. “A lady does not eavesdrop.”

“Well, you kinda were,” Dash shot back while directing a smug grin towards Rarity. “I bet you were trying to see if Fluttershy had an ulterior motive for coming alone, like, say, wooing Mr. Hands?”

Fluttershy hid her face behind her mane in an attempt to appear invisible. “I-I wouldn’t d-do that,” she stuttered in an inaudible volume.

Rarity’s eyes widened. “Why, I would never,” she protested, her tone overdramatic, not convincing anyone of her innocence.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” Dash mocked, giving Rarity a knowing look, before turning her attention back to Chris. “So, what do yah wanna know about the seven danger zones?”

“Ahem,” Rarity interrupted, “anomalies, Darling.”

“I know that,” Dash said, as she folded her forelegs and frowned. “'Danger zones' just sounds cooler and more dangerous.”

Rarity rolled her eyes at Dash before addressing Chris. “To answer your question, Darling, the seven anomalies are magically unstable terrains found throughout our world. I’m told some have very inhospitable conditions, making them far too dangerous for ponies to venture into.”

“Well, not too dangerous for me, but you get the idea.” Dash added in, sporting a cocky grin to boot.

“So, what are the seven?” Chris asked curiously, as he took it upon himself to pull out his notepad.

Rarity smiled nervously. “I’m afraid their names escape me, apart from the Everfree forest and the Frost Jungle, of course.”

“Frost Jungle?” Chris said as he scribbled down the name.

Rarity nodded. “I took an interest in that one, for the elusive ice sapphire can only be found there. It’s one of the three great gems and the most beautiful of the trio. It’s shaped as a snowflake and shines like the brightest of stars. Oh, if I could only have one!” Rarity chimed, her eyes practically glowing at the thought of obtaining the rare gem.

“I’m pretty sure he wanted to know about the jungle, not some stupid gem,” Dash said, trying to coax Rarity out of her fantasizing.

“I’m so sorry, Darling. Forgive me for having been side tracked,” Rarity said before picking up where she had left off. “Now, if I recall correctly, the Frost Jungle is in the far south. It’s an old and very dense jungle that had seemingly been flash frozen a few millennia ago. Even now, the magic that had frozen the jungle continues to whip around in the form of a violent snow storm, with winds as cold as －70 °C. You can imagine that any creature that calls such a barbaric environment home would not make for very good house company.”

“You’re kidding? All the tress and foliage are still there, just frozen?” Chris asked, as he found it hard to picture an arctic jungle.

“Why, yes, it’s a jungle literally frozen in time,” Rarity said. “I dare say, I’d fancy a trek through the Everfree as opposed to that giant ice box.”

“With winds that cold, I don’t figure it’s a place much explored,” Chris reasoned.

“You’re right…it really is the least explored…of the seven I mean,” Fluttershy chimed in, having finally managed to stop shaking. “It’s just so cold; nopony can stay for very long, or they’d f-freeze to death.”

“Aside from the ice sapphire, there is really no incentive to visit that place,” Rarity added with a slight look of disgust on her face. “You’ll find nothing more than unbearable cold or facing a dreadful beast. Celestia forbid you encounter a snow fairy.”

“A snow fairy?” Dash scoffed. “That hardly sounds tough.”

“Um…they’re actually quite dangerous,” Fluttershy countered. “I read that they will attach themselves to anything warm, and shroud it in frigid wind. The cold drains any strength you would have to fight it off of you, and well…you’d die.”

“Oh…well, still nothing a pony as awesome as me couldn’t handle,” Dash said, her tone betraying her self-assurance.

“So, you do know about these places?” Chris asked.

“Only a little,” Fluttershy answered. “I do know the other names at least. There’s the Tilting Island, the Mirage Desert, the Roaring Canyon, Gluttony Woods, and the valley of the changing seasons.”

“At least that’s a start,” Chris stated.

Canterlot

Vinyl Scratch absentmindedly picked at one of her forehooves, as more and more high class ponies began to file into the ballroom, all chatting among themselves, clearly eager for the festivities to begin.

As she surveyed the attendees, she noticed Queen Deerling entering into the room, flanked by two very large buck guards. She was soon followed by an antelope, a griffin, a minotaur and finally a zebra.

Finishing her sweep of the area, Vinyl couldn’t help but snort in annoyance. She admitted to having a love-hate relationship with any party hosted by Celestia. Being that she loved the money but hated the guests. They were usually uptight, fat pocketed snobs, in her opinion, that wouldn’t know fun if it kicked them in the flank. Parties thrown by ponies on the lower end of society was more her scene; however, putting fun ahead of business didn’t always pay the bills.

So, here she was, spinning the records for yet another potential snore fest. Although, the abundance of alcoholic beverages, the mysterious guest of honor, and Pinkie Pie being the party planner gave her high hopes for having a good time.

Finishing off her second cup of Pinkie’s special punch, she tossed the cup into a nearby trash bin and cracked her neck. She prided herself on her high tolerance for alcohol; however, the punch already had her feeling buzzed. She grinned at the prospect of lightweight nobles drinking the stuff. “Alright, let’s do this,” she said, placing down a suitable record on the turntable for the guests pouring into the ballroom. The tunes were mellow, just something to add the appropriate atmosphere. The hype music would come later, preferably after a large quantity of choice drinks were consumed.

“Alright, Vinyl, it’s almost show time!” Pinkie said having suddenly appeared at Vinyl’s side.

Vinyl recoiled slightly at Pinkie’s unexpected appearance. “Pinkie? How did you…oh, never mind,” she said, deciding not to question the enigma known as Pinkie. “So, what’s up? When are the princesses and the mystery guest supposed to get here? Some of these ponies are looking kinda restless.”

“Oh, they’re on their way now. I just ran down here super fast so I can work the lights,” Pinkie explained, as she produced a large controller with numerous dials on it.

Vinyl raised her shades to look at the contraption for a moment, before simply shrugging. “You know, Pinkie, I have to admit, this setup is impressive,” she said while gesturing at the ballroom. It was decorated with hundreds of blue and white balloons, party streamers, colored effect lights were hanging overhead and there were even a few fog machines that were strategically placed throughout the room.

“Thanks to the princess I didn’t need to spare any expense,” Pinkie said with a toothy grin, as she looked at a clock on the far wall. “Oh, goodie it’s almost time to partay!” she exclaimed, as she turned one of the dials on the controller, dimming the lights in the ballroom. The crowd began to settle down and cease their chattering once the lights had dimmed. Hitting another dial, a spotlight illuminated a stage at the head of the ballroom.

A moment later, Celestia stepped from behind a curtain to the sound of very refined hoof stomps and headed towards the podium, in the center of the spotlight, to address her citizens. Naturally, they were giving their undivided attention to their monarch as she approached the podium.

Meanwhile

“Is an intro like this necessary?” Keon grumbled to the only pony present to hear him, as he watched Celestia address the guests from his vantage point behind a large set of velvet curtains.

“So, even you know stage fright?” Luna said with an amused grin. “Do not worry; I’m sure your… charm will win them over.”

“I’m not scared,” Keon countered. “It’s not like I haven’t given my fair share of school presentations. Besides, I’m not looking to win anyone over. If they don’t like me, they can kick rocks for all I care.”

“Kick rocks?” Luna repeated, looking rather confused.

“Maybe I’ll teach you human lingo sometime,” Keon offered. “Then again, maybe I shouldn’t. You might not like me too much if you knew what half the shit I said actually meant.”

“Implying that I like you, how amusing.” Luna chuckled.

“Damn, that’s cold.”

“I thought sardonic was your preferred take on humor,” Luna said, sounding as though she regretted her choice of response.

Keon sighed. “You’ve still got a way to go, when it comes to witty banter.”

“I see, we were still engaged in sarcastic exchanges,” Luna observed. “This is harder than I would expect. How is one to know where the line should not be crossed?”

Keon shrugged. “I don’t know? Everyone draws their own lines. But I seriously doubt you could think of anything that would hurt my feelings, so have at it.”

Luna nodded. “So, anything my heart desires?”

“Yep, anything you’ve got is fair game,” Keon said, having noticed that Celestia had finished his introduction and was now gesturing with an eager expression for him to come out.

Keon took a deep breath. “Looks like I’m needed on stage.”

“I wish you luck,” Luna said with a bright smile and gave Keon a gentle nudge towards the stage.

Revealing himself from behind the curtain, Keon was greeted with complete silence and a few bright camera flashes as the audience took in who or what had just sauntered into the spotlight. Heading towards Celestia, Keon scrutinized the sea of ponies in the audience. Although it was pretty dark, he could make out that most of the ponies were finely dressed and that they came in every shade on the color spectrum.

Finally, he stopped at Celestia, who took a step back from the podium, allowing Keon to take her former position.

“My esteemed guests, I give to you, Mr. Keon Ikner,” Celestia announced.

“Whoa,” Vinyl mouthed. “This guy is what everypony has been keeping secret?” she asked Pinkie, only to realize the bubbly mare had already vanished. “Where did she get too now?”

Meanwhile, Keon grinned and cleared his throat as he addressed the audience. “So, are any of you gonna pick those up?”

Finally finding her voice, one mare dared to ask. “Pick what up?”

“Your bottom jaws,” Keon quipped.

The mare, along with a good many of the guests, found themselves chuckling at the joke. Even Celestia stifled a giggle.

‘Nice, didn’t expect that preschool joke to go over,’ Keon mused. “Now that the ice is broken, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for the warm greeting. You ponies really know how to make a guy feel welcome in your land.”

“Yah gotta admit his wit is impressive,” Spike commented to Twilight, as he struggled to reach for the ladle sitting in a punch bowl. “He tries to make a joke out of everything.”

“Can’t argue with you there, although the keyword is 'tries',” Twilight replied, absentmindedly using her magic to grasp the ladle and pour a cup for Spike.

“Thanks, Twi,” Spike said as he grabbed the cup from Twilight’s magic and downed it in one go. “Whoa, that punch has some kick to it.”

“Wha…” Twilight incoherently mumbled before her eyes widened. “Oh no, I forgot Pinkie added alcohol to some of these punch bowls,” she said, as she eyed the bowl and, sure enough, found etched in large pink letters, "Pinkie’s Special Punch". Even a tiny disclaimer was there with a warning to "drink at your own peril".

Twilight sighed in frustration. “Why have I been so careless around you lately, Spike? First with that video, now I’ve let you drink.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Twi,” Spike groaned. “Besides, I keep telling you, I’m not a baby.”

“I know, I know,” Twilight said. “But regardless, I’m still your guardian, I want what’s best for you, and my negligence is inexcusable. I mean, I just gave you alcohol! Wait, I know, maybe I can use my magic to purge it from your stomach.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Twi… there’s no way I’m about to let you force me into throwing up. Anyway, I feel fine: This punch mustn’t be as special as Pinkie claims. So, forget it already and let’s just listen to Keon’s speech.”

“Well, if you’re sure.” Twilight relented hesitantly, turning her attention back to center stage.

“But all jokes aside, your princess thought it would be a good idea for me to come up here to spare a few words,” Keon said. “So, with that in mind, I wish I could say I came here with the purpose to bring your world great and new things that you couldn’t have dreamed of. Unfortunately, I didn’t arrive here in a badass spaceship, loaded with sweet weapons and gadgets.”

“Actually, my being here is a total fluke. So, all I can give you are bad jokes and insight into the world I come from, maybe a little bit of my culture here and there,” Keon continued. “Even with so little to offer, here I stand in my monkey suit as humanity’s ambassador, talking to all you good uh…ponies, deers, minotaurs, antelope, griffins, zebras, and whatever the hell else that’s in this audience. And, if I may, try not to think badly of humankind because of all the dumb things I might or, better yet, will do. Believe me, we’re a decent bunch, once you get to know us. I’m sure both princesses can vouch for my upstanding character.”

Celestia quirked her brow, as Keon turned his head towards her with a devilish grin on his face. “So, please come say hello and have a drink with me. I promise not to bite, unless you’re into that kind of thing. I am, so don’t be shy. Well…yeah, I guess that’s it. Enjoy the party,” he finished, giving a satisfied bow to a flabbergasted crowd.

Keon grimaced. “Damn, I knew I should have written a speech instead of improvising it,” he muttered to Celestia.

“I believe you did splendidly,” Celestia said with a sincere smile. “Your demeanor may just take some getting used to for them.”

“Well, what’s everypony waiting for? Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie shouted, as she wheeled a behemoth of a cannon into the center of the ballroom, instantly gaining everyone's attention.

“What the hell is she about to do with that thing?” Keon asked, as Pinkie lit the fuse and covered her ears.

“I suppose this will be interesting,” Celestia mused, as she signaled for her guards to stand down, some of them having appeared ready to apprehend Pinkie.

“You guys might wanna cover your ears: This is my deluxe party cannon after all,” Pinkie warned, not two seconds before the cannon went off with an earsplitting boom. Massive amounts of streamers, confetti, and candy erupted from the cannon and rained down upon the guests. “Welcome to Equestria!” Pinkie shouted, stomping her hooves for emphasis and soon enough she was joined by the hesitant guests in her stomping.

Keon smiled at Pinkie and gave her a two fingered salute. “I guess she knows how to get a party started better than I do,” Keon said, as he turned to walk away with Celestia to rejoin Luna behind the curtain.

“Your speech was very moving,” Luna teased as Keon and Celestia joined her backstage. “The part where you mentioned biting our subjects was definitely a crowd pleaser.”

Keon rolled his eyes. “Keep it up, Luna, and you might get to be half as funny as me. Then again, that’s like shooting for the stars, aim a little lower.”

“I command the night, surely the stars are within my reach,” Luna countered.

“Touché,” Keon replied just as Pinkie bounced up to the trio.

“Heyah, so what did yah think, awesome right?” she said, excitement written on her face. “Were gonna have more fun than an anteater on an ant farm. Just wait until you see all the games I’ve set up and all the drinks, oh, and the cake too!”

“Not that I have anything to base this off of, but I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’ve outdone yourself,” Keon said, as scratched the back of his head bashfully. “Thanks a million, Pinkie, this means a lot.”

Pinkie’s grin nearly split her face in two, before she leapt up and wrapped Keon in a bone crushing hug. “So, you like it!?”

Keon looked at Celestia and Luna nervously from over Pinkie’s shoulder. Celestia was merely wearing an amused smile, while Luna appeared rather surprised at Pinkie’s display of physical affection.

“Y-yeah, Pinkie it’s awesome,” Keon choked out. “Now, can you let go? I can’t breathe.”

“Ohmygosh, I’m sorry,” Pinkie said as she released her hug.

“I think you might be stronger than the guards that took me down,” Keon assessed, as he rubbed his chest. “But never mind that, there’s more pressing matters that need to be addressed.”

“Pressing matters?” Celestia echoed.

“Yeah, there’s a party going on and I’m still sober, that needs addressing,” Keon jested. “So, why don’t we go out and get loose? You guys put on this shindig after all, let’s not let it go to waste.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Pinkie said before darting back out into the ballroom.

“I thought she was supposed to be like my date or escort or whatever,” Keon said with a shrug. “Oh well let’s have some fun, shall we?”

“I actually have some minor business to attend too,” Celestia chimed in. “I shall see you in a short while, please try to enjoy yourself…but not too much,” she added with a coy smile before walking away.

“Well, lets go. I’d hate for your subjects to get the wrong idea about what we’re doing back here all alone,” Keon said as he began walking towards the stairs, deciding not to enter the party via the stage.

Luna trotted up to Keon’s side and fell in stride with his pace. “So, I see your friendship has remained stable with Pinkie Pie, even after your mishap.”

“Huh… oh, yeah, she hasn’t even mentioned anything about the bathroom incident. Tell yah the truth, she seems even more eager for me to stay since then. Hell, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say she has a little school girl crush on me or something, and if that’s the case Pinkie’s even weirder than I thought,” Keon said as he and Luna entered the dark ballroom, where ponies were mingling with one another, some even dancing or trotting in place, he couldn’t really tell the difference. “But what do I know, it’s not like I’ve known Pinkie long enough to say that just isn’t how she normally acts. Maybe I should get off my high horse.”

“It’s a pity you have such little faith in your own self worth,” Luna said, taking note that the crowd had been giving both her and Keon a large amount of space as they walked. She weren’t sure if it was due to the fact that she was royalty, or if they were simply too apprehensive of Keon to venture close.

“My self worth issues probably stem from being only one of, like, seven billion more people. Besides, the girls weren’t exactly throwing themselves at me back home,” Keon explained as he and Luna found themselves at a table, an assortment of drinks littered across it.

“It goes without saying that I’m not privy to how human courtship works, but perhaps you simply weren’t recognizing the signs,” Luna theorized.

“Signs?” Keon repeated with a shake of his head. “If telling me to get lost at a kegger is a sign of interest, then sure.”

“I mean body language,” Luna corrected. “Maybe a flick of the tail, eloquent prancing, or perhaps excretion of pheromones…”

“Listen,” Keon interrupted. “It’s flattering and all that you think my failure in getting woman was me not seeing the signs, but you don’t have another human here to see just how undesirable I really am. Besides, why are we having this conversation?” Keon said as he stared at Luna attentively.

“It’s just small talk,” Luna explained. “Is this an embarrassing subject for you?”

“No, it’s just an awkward one. Listening to love advice from a pony princess is too weird, even for me,” Keon said, as he went to studying the drinks on the table splayed out before them. “At this rate, I think I’ll be the only one wasted by the end of the night,” Keon said, realizing that only the fruit punch bowls seemed to have any type of dent in them, while many cups of god knows what were still full to the brim.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Luna retorted, as she squinted to read the tiny disclaimer on the fruit punch bowl. “It says here, 'drink at your own peril'.”

“Nice. I doubt any of these ponies thought about reading the fine print before pouring a cup,” Keon said as something bumped into his thigh.

Looking down he noticed it was Spike. “Aye, little homie, having a good time?”

Spike looked up at Keon’s face with half lidded eyes and rosy cheeks as he swayed to and fro. “Keshaun, jus' the pony I wus looking' for,” he slurred.

“What the hell? You’re already smashed? It’s been like what… five minutes?” Keon said as he knelt down to Spike’s height. While Luna only looked on at the scene. “You look like the cat that ate the canary.”

“I…luv… Larity.” Spike muttered, sporting a shit eating grin.

“Who?”

“I wuv Rarity!” Spike shouted to the heavens.

Luna chuckled nervously as a great deal of eyes found themselves on the trio, while Keon and Spike paid them no mind.

“N-next time I see her, I’m gonna tell her. Jus' wait and see,” Spike claimed. “That sounds like a great idea right?”

Keon chuckled. “I’m sure it does, with you having liquid courage running through your veins at the moment. Let’s see how you feel about it after the alcohol and your hangover wears off.”

“No, I have to tell her now, it can’t wait,” Spike argued.

“Listen, I know next to zilch about romance, so little in fact Luna thought to school me on it, but still I doubt a drunk confession is a good idea,” Keon said, although half-heartedly thinking it would at least be entertaining for the dragon to go through with it.

Spike frowned. “Wha…you know what, I think you just want Rarity for yourself.”

“Wait, what? How’d you come up with that? I don’t even know who the hell Rarity is,” Keon shot back.

Spike stomped on Keon’s foot, much to the human’s annoyance. “Alright, put em up,” he challenged. “I’ll fight for the mare I love.”

“Relax kid, as great of a story it would make, I’m not about to fight a hammered dragon over nothing,” Keon said as he stood to his full height. “There’s nothing more annoying than a violent drunk,” he grumbled to himself.

“Didn’t peg yah for a chicken,” Spike goaded, as he stomped on Keon’s foot yet again.

“Ouch! You little bastard, that was my big toe,” Keon said before looking at Luna awkwardly. “How should I handle this? Last thing I want is to get bit by something that snacks on diamonds like they’re skittles.”

Luna smiled. “Allow me,” she offered, as Spike became incased in an aura of blue magic. “Sleep now young one,” she cooed, as Spike’s eyes slowly closed and he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. “I’ll place him somewhere where he will not be disturbed,” Luna said, as she trotted away, carting Spike away with her magic.

“That’s definitely a first,” Keon said, just as a large arm wrapped around his shoulder. Looking to who the arm belonged, he was surprised to find that it was Strong Horn accompanied by Starly. “So, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Strong Horn chuckled. “No need to be so stiff with us. We just wanted to have a drink with you, if the offer still stands. Besides, it’s not like any of these skittish ponies will take you up on that offer,” he said while pulling out a golden flask from inside his coat. “Now, forget that watered down pony stuff, I’ve got something that will burn the hairs off your muzzle, beak in your case,” he added to Starly.

Starly rolled her eyes while Keon rubbed his goatee in mock thought. “I kinda of like the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin, adds to my sex appeal.”

“It’s called ursa killer,” Strong Horn continued, ignoring Keon’s fake protest. “All the way from Ferrum Mons. One shot of this and you might wake up in the hairy arms of a goat named Molly, or worse, Captain Starly.”

“I take it you know that from personal experience?” Keon asked.

“He wishes,” Starly said with disgust. “A smelly minotaur, no thanks, I’d sooner lay with you.”

Keon quirked his brow. “I like where this is going.”

Strong Horn roared in laughter. “Kid, I like your spunk, but I’m afraid a tiny thing like you wouldn’t survive the night with a griffin. They have a tendency to get rough,” he finished, as he took a mighty swig from the flask and pitched it to Starly.

“It was just a joke, buddy. You didn’t think I’d really… no offense to you Cap, I’d wager you’re a pretty hot griffin,” Keon said to Starly while she drank from the flask.

Starly smirked, as she wiped her beak and handed the flask to Keon. “None taken kid. Besides, you’re way too fragile looking for my taste anyway. I mean, are all humans so scrawny?”

“Well, damn, I didn’t think I was that small,” Keon responded as he brought the flask to his lips and took a swig. His eyes widened in surprise at just how strong the alcohol was. “Holy… shit… that… kills, it’s worst than Everclear,” Keon choked out after managing to swallow the substance. “Feels like it’s burning my stomach lining off.”

Strong Horn patted Keon on the back, with more force than was necessary, sending him falling to the ground, causing ponies that were too close to scamper out of the way.

“Damn it, watch it with those frying pans you call hands,” Keon barked as Strong Horn grabbed him by the wrist and lifted him back to his feet as though he were no more than a rag doll.

Strong Horn chuckled. “I’m impressed you managed to get any of that ursa killer down, with you being so puny and all.”

“I get it already you talking side of beef, I’m small. That doesn’t mean I can’t drink your ass under the table,” Keon shot back.

“Ah, so hyomans have a competitive streak, do they?” Strong Horn asked, with a look of smugness. “Very well, I’ll be the first to show you the fearsome might of the minotaur, your challenge has been accepted.”

“Alright, twenty bucks says you throw up before I do,” Keon wagered.

Strong Horn rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “The loser shall deliver twenty bucks to what exactly?”

“No, I don’t mean kicks, I mean currency,” Keon explained. “The rules are simple: Every fifteen minutes you have to drink something. That sound fair?”

“Make it ten,” Strong Horn demanded.

“You’re on,” Keon said as he grabbed a cup from the table and downed whatever was in it. Smacking his lips he grinned. “Pretty damn tasty.”

Pinkie had chosen that moment to reappear at Keon’s side. “Oh, there you are. Sorry I left you; I was just so excited I’d almost forgot I’m your escort. Silly me, right? So, whatcha doin'?”

“Just agreed to spank this guy’s ass in a drinking competition. He’ll learn that a human’s alcohol tolerance is not to be trifled with,” Keon explained.

“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh!” Pinkie squealed excitedly. “Competition means games right? And I’ve got oodles of fun games lined up for you, so come on!” Pinkie said, not giving Keon much of a choice, as she bit down on his shirt and started leading him away into the crowd. “Sorry I have to steal him from yah Mr. Big Horn and Ms. Griffin,” Pinkie said through a mouth full of Keon’s shirt.

“I expect you to hold up your end of the wager,” Strong Horn called after Keon, before he and Pinkie were swallowed by the crowd. Eyeing the flask in his hand, Strong Horn began to whistle in what he thought was a nonchalant manner before dumping the contents into one of the safe punch bowls. “That ougtha liven up this bunch a bit,” he muttered before strolling away with Starly.

“So, can you really beat that minotaur in drinking?” Pinkie asked, still dragging Keon along.

“Not a chance in hell,” Keon responded. “Not only does that guy have like five hundred pounds on me, if he’s anything like a modern cow he’d have a four chambered stomach. If we’re getting technical, it’s impossible for him to throw up by definition, since vomiting is defined by bringing shit back up from the stomach, and that’s impossible for a bull when the other chambers are in the way. But that’s all assuming he abides by bull biology from back home. I mean, can you throw up?”

“Of course I can, Silly, just like any pony else with a tummy ache. Why wouldn’t I?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“The valve in a pony stomach only opens one way, you shouldn’t be able to throw up,” Keon explained with a shrug. “I guess I’ll have to throw anything I thought I knew about your biology out the window. Regardless, Strong Horn still has the weight advantage.”

“Okie dokie then,” Pinkie said, clearly not having understood. “But why’d you accept a challenge you can’t win?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want to see a minotaur get drunk off his ass. Besides, I promised him twenty bucks and my money is worthless here. So, basically he’s getting nothing but a piece of fancy paper from me.” Keon laughed, finally starting to feel the effects of what he’d drank. “Oh, by the way, Pinkie, you don’t have to drag me along. I promise, I’m not going to run away,” Keon said, prompting Pinkie to let go and look at him with a frown. “What’s with that face all of a sudden, are you mad at me?”

Pinkie shook her head. “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at everypony else.”

“Why? You were just happy as hell two seconds ago,” Keon asked curiously.

“That’s before I realized this,” Pinkie said, as she pointed to the pony guests that seemed to be going out of their way to keep a clear distance from Keon. “I know you’ve noticed…”

“That all these ponies are ready to shit bricks?” Keon finished for Pinkie. “Like I told Luna, I’m not here to win anyone over, and maybe that’s pompous of me, but I’m not about to go out of my way to make everyone like me. If they start to warm up to me on their own, that’s cool, but if they don’t, those are the breaks.”

“But that’s not fair,” Pinkie protested. “This party is for you, and they aren’t being welcoming at all. In Ponyville they’d welcome you, well, maybe not in the first minute, but once I told them you are nice they’d like you, I just know it.”

Keon was quiet as he surveyed the ponies present. He noted most of them were unicorns and at least three fourths, if not more, looked to be female. “This is the royal city, high society right? Are you really surprised the ponies here aren’t chomping at the bit to be friends with a guy like me? Besides, I’ve got uh…Strong Horn, Starly, Luna, Celestia, Twilight, Spike sorta and well, you, don’t I? That’s all I need to have a good time.”

Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Must…resist….urge…to…hug. Oh, who am I kidding?” she said before yet again snatching Keon up in a crushing hug.

Keon allowed a small smile to grace his lips, before he slowly returned the hug, feeling too buzzed to care for the odd stares that were being directed towards them.

Elsewhere

Chris stared in awe at the amount of luggage that was waiting for Rarity once they had stepped off the train car.

“Oi, Rarity, did you plan on moving here and I missed the memo?” he asked, as he assisted her in loading her suitcases onto a large wooden cart.

“Since I seldom visit Canterlot, I may as well treat this opportunity as a holiday,” Rarity reasoned. “And thank you for the assistance, you’re quite the gentlecolt.”

“It's common courtesy to help a lady with her bags,” Chris reasoned, as he stuffed the last of Rarity’s luggage into the cart. “That’s what my mom tells me anyway,” he finished before grabbing the handle of the cart, intent on pulling it as well. “So, what’s the plan?” Chris asked of the group, noticing that night was soon to come. “Would it be wrong to ask for an audience with your princess at this hour?”

“Ah'm sure the princess will understand,” Applejack chimed in. “'Sides, Ah hear Princess Luna has a night court session anyway.”

“The hour in question isn’t really the problem here,” Rarity cut back in. “There’s a chance both princesses could be dreadfully busy with the ambassadors.”

“Well, I doubt standing around out here all night is gonna solve anything,“ Dash interjected. “Let’s just go to the castle and see what happens. I mean, it’s not like we’re the elements of harmony, escorting a tall lanky creature from a different world or something like that.”

“Um…Rainbow Dash has a point,” Fluttershy mumbled softly. “I’m sure the princesses will be eager to meet Chris.”

“Then it’s settled, we depart for the royal castle immediately,” Rarity exclaimed.

“Lyra, looks like your two legged friend is headed for the royal castle. So, what do we do now?” Bon Bon asked, as she watched from her vantage point at a nearby café table as Chris and company begin to head off. “Didn’t you hear me, I said…” Bon Bon paused as she realized Lyra had left the café table and was talking to a donut vendor.

Bon Bon sighed as she got up and trotted to her friend.

“Yeah, I’ll have a jelly filled one and a honey nut glaze… ow,ow,” Lyra cried, as she found herself being unceremoniously dragged by the tail, curtsey of Bon Bon.

“Here I am having let you coerced me into following this guy around like a complete creep, only to find you’re off trying to buy…donuts!” Bon Bon said in frustration. “Can you take anything serious?”

“What? I was hungry,” Lyra replied innocently.

“You can be such a filly sometimes, you know that?” Bon Bon said in the tone of a mother scolding her child. “All this was your brilliant idea, remember? That makes you the ring leader of this little escapade.”

“Okay, you’re right. I won’t let it happen again,” Lyra promised, before swiftly turning on her hooves and darting back to the vendor. “Don’t worry, Bon Bon, I’ll get the donuts to go, that fair?”

Bon Bon merely rolled her eyes in response.

Meanwhile

Keon swayed, as he trailed behind Pinkie with a goofy grin on his face. He couldn’t believe how hard one shot of what Strong Horn had given him had hit. Hardly a minute ago he’d only been feeling tipsy at best, but now he was full on drunk.

He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but a great deal of the ponies seemed to be losing their inhibitions towards him and weren’t tripping over their own hooves to get out of his way anymore. He wagered that whatever they had drunk was starting to hit them as well and that was the reason for it.

“Are you feeling okay?” Pinkie asked Keon, as he nearly tripped over a pony he hadn’t noticed.

“This ursa killer is kicking my ass,” Keon responded with an even larger, stupider grin on his face. “But I’m still good for some games and more booze.”

“Well, alrighty. What should we play first?” Pinkie asked. “Cider pong, bits, flip the cup, brain damage, spinners, twenty-one aces, guess the not, cider races, fuzzy duck, up and down the river, cider bungee…”

“Damn, you’ve set up that many games?” Keon cut Pinkie off before she could continue down the list. “How about we go kick some ass in pong?” he suggested.

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said, as she led him to a ping pong table with an array of cups filled with hard cider sitting on it.

“Doesn’t look like anyone knows how to play, or maybe they’re just too uptight,” Keon said, having noticed that the game was set up perfectly, yet no one had touched it.

“So, are any of you ponies brave enough to take us on?” Pinkie shouted to the ponies that had been watching Keon and her as they stood in front of the table. “Well?” she pressed on, just as the crowd that had been watching them split, allowing Celestia and Luna to step forward.

“We shall be your opponents,” Luna said with a toothy grin, while Celestia merely giggled as they took positions on the opposite side of the table. A large crowd soon formed around them.

Keon whistled. “Didn’t expect the royal sisters themselves to step up to the plate.”

Celestia spoke up. “Pinkie Pie, please explain the rules for us.”

“Sure, we just take turns trying to throw these balls into each other’s cups. When you make one, your opponent has to drink the cider from the cup the ball landed in. First team to get a ball in every cup wins,” Pinkie finished.

Celestia smiled. “My, how very simple, yet clever.”

“I feel I should warn the both of you,” Keon piped up. “The more I drink the better I get at this, and I’m already feeling pretty good, so you don’t have a chance.”

Luna lifted a ping pong ball in her hoof and tossed it into one of the cups opposite of her, sinking it easily. “To the contrary, I like our odds,” she said with an air of smugness.

Ten minutes later, Luna had found she couldn’t have been more wrong in her confidence for victory. Celestia had turned out to be an absolute horrendous shot, while both Keon and Pinkie played as though they were professionals at the little drinking game. Their side had nearly all cups remaining, while she and Celestia were down to one.

“Come on, Tia, if you make this one, we can then mount a comeback,” Luna cheered Celestia on, as Celestia stared at her goal with immense concentration. Unfortunately, Celestia missed by a long shot, and Luna slapped herself with her hoof in defeat. “I couldn’t have been saddled with a worse partner,” she grumbled to herself.

“This one’s for all the marbles,” Pinkie said while tossing a ping pong ball up and down in her hoof with her tongue sticking out in concentration. “Well, here it goes,” she said before genteelly tossing the ball towards the final cup, making the shot. “Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered in triumph, while Keon responded with an enthusiastic, “Fuck yeah!” before he ruffled Pinkie’s mane, much to her delight.

“I’m sorry, sister,” Celestia offered Luna. “We may have been defeated, but it was still an enjoyable experience, was it not?”

Luna looked at Celestia, whose cheeks had turned a rosy red from the amount of cider she had drank and smiled. “Yes, it was…quite enjoyable.”

“Ahem,” Keon interrupted the two, beaming like an idiot. “I think Pinkie left out the part where you both have to finish off our remaining cups of cider, penalty for losing.”

“Very well,” Luna said as she used her magic to retrieve the remaining six cups. “But mark my words, next time you shall experience the cold sting of defeat.”

“Not if me and Pinkie are a team we won’t,” Keon claimed. “Ain’t that right Pinkie?”

“Yep, nopony stands a chance against us,” Pinkie added.

“I want next,” a random pony in the crowd called, followed by more ponies shouting to take on the pair of Keon and Pinkie.

“Well, have a look at that,” Keon said as he watched the ponies bicker among themselves for who would get next game. “I guess they may be starting to warm up after all.”

“Sorry everypony, we won’t be taking on anymore challengers right now,” Pinkie explained as they groaned in protest.

“We won’t, why the hell not?” Keon asked.

“Because it’s time for us to spank the planks!” Pinkie said, smiling wide. “Come and dance with me!”

“Dance?” Keon echoed as he looked to the crowd of dancing ponies and shook his head. “Oh no, I don’t think you ponies are ready for my kind of dancing.”

“Actually, I’d like to see it myself,” Twilight suddenly cut in. “By the way, you haven’t seen Spike, have you? I’ve been searching for him all over this ballroom.”

“I’ve sent him to rest in an undisclosed location,” Luna answered. “You needn’t worry for him.”

“Oh…well, as long as he’s not getting into trouble,” Twilight relented before turning her attention back to Keon. “So, will you show us your culture’s way of dance?”

Keon looked between Twilight, Pinkie, Luna and Celestia whom all seemed eager to see him dance.

“Well, alright, but this will probably be the most vulgar shit you’ve ever seen,” Keon warned.

“I think that’s starting to become a recurring theme with you,” Luna jested.

“You should count yourself lucky you’ve got saddled with a human that knows how to dance, no matter how raunchy it is,” Keon retorted before turning his attention to Pinkie. “I’m gonna need a partner, so how about it?”

Pinkie beamed. “I’ll do it!”

Keon leaned down to whisper into Pinkie’s ear. “Just a heads up, things are gonna get a bit suggestive and if you’re uncomfortable with it, let me know.”

Keon’s breathe tickled Pinkie’s ear causing her fur to stand on end. “S-suggestive?” she stuttered.

“You’ll know what I mean soon enough,” he ended with a lecherous grin.

Elsewhere

Chris thought back on the walk he’d just had through Canterlot. He could definitely tell that the place catered to the nobility. Unlike in Ponyville, almost every pony he’d come across were finely dressed and walked with their noses held high, with a metaphorical stick up their ass.

Most of them were content to show very little interest towards him. Apparently too caught up in their own self-absorbed lives to even bother wondering about what he was. It probably helped that he was towing Rarity’s cart, giving them the impression that he was merely an exotic pet tamed for physical labor, perhaps from some land that was too far removed for them to have heard of it. Unfortunately, that misunderstanding opened up another can of worms regarding ponies that did show interest. They would commonly stop Rarity to ask her to name a price for him or ask where they could get one of their own, much to the unicorn's chagrin.

He admitted, being thought of as Rarity’s pet stung in a way; however, that was neither here nor there. For now, here he stood, outside of the castle that had been his goal since his arrival in this odd land. The structure itself was impressive to say the least, composed of multiple spires and breathtaking fountains that emptied themselves off the mountainside. Once again the ponies proved themselves amazing architects. He couldn’t help but feel nervous, knowing full well that his future lay just beyond those walls, and hopefully his best friend.

“Well, Sugarcube, we’re finally here,” Applejack said to Chris, who was quietly staring up at the castle. “I’d reckon yer feeling a bit nervous bout all this.”

“Only a little,” Chris said, before Fluttershy tentatively nuzzled his hand.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole time,” she assured him.

“No use in waitin' for the grass to grow, let's get a move on,” Applejack said, as she led the group across the draw bridge and onto the castle grounds.

A pair of castle guards wearing gold armor wasted no time in confronting them. Both of them eyed Chris with suspicion before one of them spoke.

“Aren’t you the creature we wrestled down a couple of nights ago? What are you doing roaming the castle grounds, shouldn’t you be…” The guard stopped as he looked to who had been accompanying Chris. “The Elements of Harmony, what are you doing here?”

“Wrestled? You mean, you fought with another guy like me?” Chris asked urgently, cutting back in. “What happened, what did you do to him!?”

“Wait, so you’re not the same one?” the guard asked, as he scrutinized Chris carefully. “Now that I think about it, you’re a different shade of color than that other one.”

“You’re not hearing me: I said, what did you do to him?” Chris demanded, having taken a threatening step forward towards the guard.

“Easy, Darling,” Rarity responded to Chris’s urgency. “I’m sure your friend is just fine, isn’t that right?” she directed her question towards the guard.

The guard nodded confidently. “Yes, in fact he should be enjoying his welcoming ceremony as we speak.”

“That means there’s a party we’re missing, so take us to him already,” Dash piped up.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t make a decision like that on my own accord,” the guard explained. “I can escort you somewhere to wait while somepony retrieves the princess, and she will take over from there.”

“Ah guess that sounds plenty fair,” Applejack said. “Will that be alright with you, Chris?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

The guard pony nodded as he turned to his partner. “Please inform her highness of the situation. We’ll be waiting in the throne room.” The guard saluted before trotting off to complete his task. “Alright, follow me,” the guard said, just as another pair of guards came along, escorting two trenched coat figures with them.

“Lieutenant Brave Hoof, we found these two skulking around the palace grounds, thought it best to let you know,” one of the guards said.

“That so?” Brave Hoof said as he batted away the fedoras from atop their heads. “Any particular reason two suspicious looking characters like yourselves are sneaking around out here?” he asked as they simply grinned at him nervously.

“Lyra, Bon Bon?” Chris spoke up. “What took you two so long to catch up?”

Brave Hoof looked at Chris. “These two with you?”

Chris nodded, along with Rarity, Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy.

Brave Hoof shrugged. “You two return to your post,” he ordered the guards. “Alright, let’s get going,” he ordered the group.

Both Lyra and Bon Bon scampered over towards Chris’s group, quickly getting in line with them.

“Thanks for covering for us,” Lyra whispered to Chris. “That was real nice of you.”

Chris looked down at the mint green mare with a raised brow. “I can’t help but think you being here isn’t a mere coincidence, care to explain?”

“Yeah, ah think we’d all like to know that story,” Applejack cut in.

Lyra grinned bashfully. “Oh…well, believe it or not, but it totally is a coincidence.”

“Trench coats, fedoras, sneakin' around, what kind of fools yah take us fer?” Applejack asked.

“The gullible kind?” Lyra said innocently.

“Best to just let it be, Applejack,” Chris said, already having a pretty good idea of what they were doing there. “I’m sure they have their reasons,” he finished casting a final glance at Lyra.

“Isn’t he just the coolest?” Lyra whispered to Bon Bon.

Bon Bon sighed. “I’ll admit it’s cool that he’s willing to overlook the creepiness of us stalking him, yeah.”

“Wait, you think he knows?” Lyra asked with wide eyes. “He’ll think we’re a pair of weirdos.”

“You don’t say?” Bon Bon deadpanned.

Meanwhile, Chris stared around in fascination as they entered the castle. He felt as though he’d just entered a prestigious museum. Everything from the fine carpets, the high ceiling and the stained glass gave off a sense of grandeur.

Rarity smiled, as she observed the look of wonder on Chris’s face. “It’s quite fabulous isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing,” Chris whispered, as Brave Hoof opened the door to Celestia’s throne room.

“The wait shouldn’t be long,” Brave Hoof said, directing the group to some seats. “I’ll be just outside the doors,” he added before taking his leave.

Hardly even a minute later, the doors that Brave Hoof had left through were flung open and Celestia proudly stepped through, followed by Twilight.

“Holy shit,” Chris muttered to himself at seeing the size and radiance of Celestia. Her flawless coat that seemed to glow, along with her flowing mane had his brain reeling. Her majestic beauty was unrivaled by anything he’d ever seen.

“Mr. Chris, my little human, how splendid it is to see that you are safe and sound,” Celestia greeted as she stopped in front of Chris.

“You know my name?” Chris asked, having been taken slightly aback.

Celestia nodded. “In his stay here, Mr. Keon has told us so much about you.”

“Good things, I hope,” Chris said. Having seen that the others gave a sort of bow to Celestia, he chose to do the same and took to a knee. “Your highness,” he said, although unsure of himself.

Both Celestia and Twilight looked at one another for a brief moment, before they shared a laugh.

“You needn’t address me as your highness, Celestia will do just fine,” Celestia stated.

“That’s interesting. I didn’t expect that he would bow to you, Princess, Keon never did. I assumed out of human pride,” Twilight said as she observed Chris carefully before she finally took notice of the others in the room. “Girls…Lyra and Bon Bon, what in the name of Equestria are you all doing here?”

“Ain’t it obvious?” Dash answered. “We were bringing this guy here to meet the princess and find his long lost friend.”

“Speaking of his friend, how’s the feller doin'?” Applejack asked. “Chris has been worried sick about him.”

“Judging by those injuries, I’d say he’s had an easier time of it than you have,” Twilight said, as she got closer to observe his bandages. “What happened, did you get these injuries in Equestria? Where exactly did you arrive?”

“Twilight Sparkle, you can ask all of your questions at a later time,” Celestia intervened. “As for now, there’s a reunion in order.”

“You’re absolutely right, Princess,” Twilight agreed. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time afterwards.”

Celestia smiled at Chris. “Please, follow me,” she said as she began to move towards the door she had come from and Chris followed, soon joined by everyone else.

“I’m not sure if it’s my place to ask, but Keon has been...behaved, hasn’t he?” Chris asked cautiously. “What I mean to say is, he hasn’t offended you in any way, right?”

Celestia stared down at Chris, quietly studying him. “He’s been very cooperative with us. Answering all of our questions to the best of his ability and sharing in human culture with us as well. He was even willing to instruct us in the style of human dance.”

“Dance?” Chris repeated with a look of worry on his face. “You mean he showed you what he calls dancing?”

Celestia nodded. “Yes, although I’m afraid ponies clearly aren’t built for dances such as stick and roll it, twang entertain, and the cupid shuffle. However, my subjects have taken to the dance he referred to as… grinding, and not that I mean to offend but it’s the most provocative style of dance I’ve ever witnessed. Humans must be extremely comfortable in their sexuality to favor such a dance.”

Chris grimaced, having a sick image of multiple ponies bumping and grinding on each other pop up in his mind. He reasoned it came off as pretty smutty for clothed humans to do it, but for naked ponies it would look more like an orgy than dancing.

Chris slapped his hand over his face, much to Celestia’s surprise.

“Is there something wrong?” Celestia inquired.

“It just blows me away that even being in another world, that guy doesn’t know how to not act like an ass,” Chris answered.

Celestia quirked her brow. “I find that how he remains true to himself in spite of his circumstances is Mr. Keon’s most endearing quality. Whether it’s his crudeness, vulgarity or his humor, he never tried to hide that aspect from us. We can never truly hope to understand your kind if you hide the real you behind a façade, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Is understanding all you hope to gain from this?” Chris asked skeptically.

“I believe that the more you understand others, the more you can then understand yourself,” Celestia explained. “I've been told that you’re an aspiring zoologist, correct? Surely, you of all beings can see the value of understanding the lives of those around you.”

Chris chuckled. “Funny, I remember telling Fluttershy something similar only a couple of hours ago.”

Meanwhile, Twilight turned to her friends. “So, how exactly did you girls meet Chris?” she whispered.

“Poor feller came outta the Everfree pretty banged up and was sleepin' it off in the Cutie Mark Crusaders' club house. Mah sister and her friends found him that followin' mornin',” Applejack answered. “Hear tell he was in tha Everfree for over ten hours.”

“Ten hours?” Twilight gasped.

“Yeah, he’d even had a run in with some timberwolves in there,” Dash added in. “He seems pretty tough for such a light weight.”

“I see,” Twilight said with a nod. “I just can’t believe how lucky we are that you girls found him. He could have ended up anywhere in Equestria, but he landed right in your hooves. Keon was so distraught, thinking he might never find his friend.”

“Wait, are you saying there’s another human here?” Lyra cut in into the conversation. “What’s this one like, and are they really from another world?”

Twilight stared at Lyra for a moment before she said, “Well, from what we’ve gathered so far, all evidence points to yes. We’ve seen their technology and how strangely magic affects them. Not to mention, the means by which they arrived has historical backing, as well. Besides that, Keon doesn’t really act like anything from this world I’ve ever met. He’s very…well, you’ll have to meet him for yourself to understand.”

Lyra beamed. “This is so exciting, right, Bon Bon?”

Bon Bon clearly didn’t share Lyra’s apparent enthusiasm. “How come every time something weird happens around here you girls are always in the thick of it?”

“It’s probably got something to do with us being the elements of harmony and all,” Dash reasoned. “Weirdness just kind of follows us around now days.”

“That’s about as good of an answer as I could give,” Twilight said as music began to be heard in the hallway, indicating that they were getting closer to the ballroom.

“Heavens, what is that awful racket?” Rarity asked with a frown. “Surely a formal event should play much more refined music.”

“No way, this beat rocks,” Dash argued. “By the sound of it, Vinyl must be here spinning her custom tracks.”

“Oh…the DJ with the wild mane,” Rarity said with a hint of distaste, as Celestia opened the ballroom doors and Rarity found her ears instantly assaulted by the blaring music. “Such boorish music,” she grumbled, although her complaining was drowned out by the music.

Chris’s eyes went wide as he observed the ballroom. “I won’t lie: I didn’t expect that high class ponies partied this hard,” he said to Celestia, taking note of how rowdy the ponies were. Not only were there several of them passed out on the ground, but most of them were currently taking part in drinking games. Varying from simple card games, to two ponies actually tied to one another via bungee cord battling it out in some odd game of tug-of-war.

Celestia looked bashful. “In truth, a party this wild has never been held in Canterlot. I just can’t recall when the party became so chaotic.”

Chris observed Celestia carefully, taking note of her rosy cheeks. “Looks like you’ve had a few yourself.”

“In light of things, I felt it appropriate,” Celestia reasoned. “And I lost in a game to your friend,” she added sounding somewhat embarrassed.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy muttered as she looked around nervously. “Are those ponies…uh, doing it?” she squeaked her cheeks turning cherry red.

Applejack grimaced. “Almost looks that way, don’t it?”

“That’s the dance that has been dubbed grinding,” Luna interrupted, letting her presence be known, as she cantered up to the group. “Fascinating, is it not?”

“Fascinating!?” Rarity shrieked. “That’s the most uncouth form of dance I’ve ever paid witness to! Surely, something of that sort should be done behind closed doors, not in public.”

Luna hadn’t paid much mind to Rarity’s protest, as she was too focused on Chris. “My stars, to think you would find your way to us so soon,” she said, as she trotted around him, inspecting him from every angle “Keon will be thrilled.”

‘So, this must be Princess Luna,’ Chris thought, as he took in her appearance, mostly focusing on her mane that was somehow even more impressive than Celestia’s.

“Speaking of Mr. Keon, where has he gotten off too?” Celestia asked.

Luna pointed her hoof to a corner of the ballroom looking sympathetic. “I’m afraid he’s had a little too much to drink.”

Chris looked to where Luna had been pointing, and sure enough, he spotted Keon on his knees huddled over a trash bin next to a shockingly pink pony that was rubbing his back soothingly with her hoof.

Chris found his feet moving towards his friend before his mind could catch up, and in a matter of seconds he was looming over the pair. “Well, don’t you look like a pile of shit?” Chris started struggling to contain the excitement in his voice.

Pinkie was the first to look up, and a large grin soon found its way to her face. “You’re… you’re… CHRIS! And I’m Pinkie Pie!” she shouted, as she began to bounce up and down in place excitedly. “Now I’ll get to throw a Keon and Chris reunion party, it’ll be funarific!”

Keon pulled his face out of the trash bin to look up at who had spoken, and he did a double take. “Chris… why, you son of a bitch!” he shouted as he hopped up to his feet, forgetting about how sick he felt and quickly pulled Chris into a headlock. “If you weren’t so ugly, I’d kiss you,” he said, as he pressed his knuckles hard against Chris’s head.

“Likewise, you dumb bastard,” Chris said, as he tried to fight out of the headlock and noogie.

“So, that’s human friendship?” Twilight noted, as she watched the exchange carefully. “What an odd way to show affection.”

After breaking free of Keon’s grip, Chris grinned. “Why am I not surprised to see you getting drunk off your ass with the locals and teaching them how to dry hump each other?”

“You think being in some weird pony world is gonna keep me from free booze and actin' a fool?” Keon said, swaying slightly on his feet. “Fat chance.”

“I didn’t think, I’d hoped,” Chris said. “By the way, where’d you get the new threads? They’re real snazzy.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Rarity added. “The workmanship is flawless. Who, exactly, was it that designed your ensemble?”

Keon looked at the pony that addressed him in silence for a brief moment. “Wait a minute, who are you anyway?” he asked finally having taken notice of all the new ponies that were crowded around him. How he’d missed the yellow pegasus that was giggling as she played with his dreads like a cat would with yarn was beyond him. “Actually, who the hell are any of you?”

“Oh, oh, let me, let me. I can tell you who they are!” Pinkie said while bouncing around in excitement. “There’s Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Lyra and Bon Bon, they’re all my friends! Keon meet friends, friends meet Keon, who’s also my friend, so should I just say friends meet friend?”

Not even a second after Pinkie had finished her version of an introduction, Keon found himself nose to nose with Rainbow Dash.

“Just in case you didn’t catch it I’m Rainbow Dash, the one that’s everything awesome,” she said proudly. “So, what’s with that mane of yours, and why do you look like you’re made out of chocolate? Who’d win in a fight, you or Chris?”

Pinkie gasped. “Now that you mention it, he does look like chocolate,” she said before rearing up on her hind legs and boldly licking the side of his face. “Nope, not chocolate,” she deduced.

“Pinkie Pie!?” Rarity gasped in shock. “Respect a ponies personal boundaries.”

“What? I needed to know,” Pinkie replied with innocence.

Meanwhile, Keon grinned at Dash ignoring all of her questions and the fact that Pinkie had just left a trail of saliva on his face as he said, “You should totally let me ride you.”

Dash looked taken aback by the seemingly random request. “Why in the hay would I let you ride me? That’s just weird,” she stated.

“Come on, I just had the greatest vision of us flying around this ballroom,” Keon started to plead but stopped when his previous nausea returned, and he lurched for the trash bin and hurled into it, much to everyone’s disgust.

“Oopsie, looks like Keon’s tummy still won’t agree with him,” Pinkie said, as she went back to rubbing his back.

“Man, you seriously have to learn your limits,” Chris said, as he shook his head. “Is this how we should represent our people?”

“It’s this ursa killer,” Keon moaned. “Note to self, never drink what a seven hundred pound minotaur considers hard liquor,” he managed before he finally passed out, his face hitting the floor with a loud thud.

The ponies all stared around in shock, all except Pinkie, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Honey, what in Celestia’s name are you smiling about?” Applejack asked in confusion. “Your friend just keeled over in his own sick.”

“Because I succeeded!” Pinkie explained, clearly happy with herself.

“Succeeded in what?” Twilight cut in.

“In throwing the kind of party Keon wanted,” she beamed. “He told me that…”

“Let me guess,” Chris interrupted Pinkie “He said you can’t end a good party without someone on the floor, preferably him, right?”

“Correctamundo!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Author's Note

Well how's it hanging everyone, and how's the new year treating you? Good, great, splendid! First off I apologize for the late update. You know how it goes with the holidays and what not, but I wasn't completely unproductive, I made new cover art if anyone cares.

But good news I'm already cracking away at the next chapter, which I usually wait for feedback before doing. But I want to get the next chapter out sooner than later. Anyway please sound off in the comments, and let me know what's up as usual. Well until the next chapter, later guys.

Chapter 15: Royal Pain

Royal Pain

Ms. Cheerilee beamed as she spread out the morning newspaper and clipped it to the easel at the front of the classroom.

“Attention class,” she started out, trying to get the class to settle down. “We have a very interesting subject matter today.”

“You mean about those aliens?” a small, plump and buck-toothed colt asked, which earned him a nod from Ms. Cheerilee.

“Right you are, Snips. I’m sure you’ve all heard the news by now,” Ms. Cheerilee continued as she retrieved a ruler and pointed it to the first picture. “If not, they have revealed that they are called humans and that they are Equestria’s first extraterrestrial visitors!”

“I think I’ve heard enough about them already,” a gray coated filly responded after groaning. “My mother wouldn’t stop going on about them, she’s really freaked out, I tell you. She’s convinced that they’re here to take over our world and lock us in cages.”

“Well, that’s just silly, they don’t want anythin' like that,” Apple Bloom interjected. “We already met one of 'em, so take mah word for it.”

“Nuh uh, you didn’t meet one,” a rather lanky, amber colored colt protested. “There’s only, like, two of them, and they’re in Canterlot. How could you have met one?”

“That’s easy Snails,” Scootaloo chimed in. “He was here in Ponyville before he went to Canterlot to find his friend.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle added. “His name was Chris, and we found him in our clubhouse, we got to play with him and everything. He told us a bunch of really neat stories about his world.”

“Well, I believe them,” lisped a filly with a curly, scarlet mane. “I thaw it come into Sugarcube Corner with Apple Bloom’th thithter. Really weird looking but he theemed nithe.”

A pink filly up turned her muzzle as she said, “Well, I don’t believe any of you.”

“No pony asked you, Diamond Tiara,” Scootaloo fired back with a cocky smirk. “Besides, you’re just jealous, that’s all.”

“Jealous!?” Diamond Tiara spat and looked affronted by the accusation. “Why would I care if you blank flanks got to pal around with a freaky looking ape creature? Besides, you’d probably catch something if you got too close to one of them.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo grit their teeth, while Sweetie Belle frowned in disapproval.

“Take that back right now, yah hear?” Apple Bloom all but demanded of the decidedly snooty looking filly.

“That’s right,” Sweetie Belle said with determination. “He’s really nice. You don’t have to call him names.”

“And what are you going to do to make me stop or take back what I said?” Diamond Tiara challenged while wearing a satisfied smirk. “Oh, I know, maybe you can get your big, alien teddy bear to come and make me?”

“We don’t need Chris to put you in your place,” Scootaloo said as she rolled up a pair of imaginary sleeves.

“Girls, girls that’s enough!” Ms. Cheerilee interrupted. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Well, she went an' started it all,” Apple Bloom protested. “She always jus' has tah be mean, Ah can’t stomach it anymore.”

Cheerilee sighed. “I thought you girls would have learnt to get along by now. How long do you intend to keep up this silly behavior?”

“Either until we get our cutie marks or I have to show Ms. Snooty Tiara what’s for,” Scootaloo said as she crossed her forelegs and slouched down in her chair.

Diamond Tiara chuckled along with the gray coated filly next to her. “Yeah, that will be the day,” she mocked.

Meanwhile

“Come again? What do you mean 'team'?” Chris asked Celestia, his eyes narrowed in mild confusion, as Celestia continued to smile at them.

“Like I’ve already said, you two do not fully understand the dangers of our world. It would be more than foolish to go without somepony that’s accustomed to such dangers,” Celestia explained. “And I just so happen to have the perfect candidates in mind, in fact, you’ve already met them.”

“Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity and, uh… Spectrum Sprint?” Keon said aloud as he checked off each pony on a finger. “But if I’m remembering right, I’m pretty sure there were six ponies on that fortune card old Zuri gave me. So, that leaves an orange pony and a yellow one unaccounted for.”

“Rainbow Dash,” Celestia clarified. “And yes, Applejack and Fluttershy would round out the final two of the six.” Celestia finished with a nod of her head.

“Wait a minute,” Chris interrupted, still a bit confused. “Never mind the fortune card, but did I hear you right? You want to send along the girls that have been looking after us?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow as she regarded Chris. “Would that be a problem?”

“Well, actually… yeah,” Chris responded and looked rather conflicted. “Applejack, Rarity, Dash and Fluttershy have been more than helpful, and I couldn’t thank them enough, but they seem kind of on the young side. Should they really get involved in this?”

Celestia cut off any further protests he might have had when she put a hoof to her muzzle and stifled a giggle. “Mr. Chris, my little ponies are more or less the same age as you and, as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, they have spent their fair share of time in the company of danger. I dare say that they are veterans.”

“Elements of harmony? I must have missed that bit in my studying,” Chris reasoned and made a mental note to check up on those later.

“Would you feel better if Luna went with us instead?” Keon asked with a rather bored expression on his face.

“Wha… of course! She controls the moon, for God's sake,” Chris said, though he still felt as if he were missing something obvious. “What does that matter anyway? It’s not like it’s an option.”

“Well, I heard straight from the horse’s mouth that she got handled by six ponies, and she mentioned something about them being the Elements of Peace or whatever it was,” Keon explained with a shrug of indifference. “And depending on how much faith you’re willing to put into the free tarot card readin’ I got, the Elements of Six are supposed to help us. I don’t know about you, but if these girls could put their hooves up Luna’s ass, I got no problems with them tagging along,” Keon concluded.

Celestia wore an unsure grin. “I don’t believe I would have said it in quite the same manner as Mr. Keon; however, his point is valid. Furthermore, I assure you, you couldn’t ask for more capable mares than that of Twilight and the other Elements.”

Chris still felt unconvinced, but he was careful not to show it as he thought about the girls in question. Twilight the scholar, Applejack the farm pony, Rarity the fashionista, Rainbow Dash the weather mare, Fluttershy the animal caretaker and finally Pinkie, the one that… well, admittedly he didn’t know much about her, apart from the fact that she was bubbly and chipper when he’d met her. Even so, no matter how he tried to look at it, he could only picture them as nice civilian girls, despite the faith their ruler had in them.

It wasn’t like he or Keon had much to fall back on themselves, as far useful skills went. They had their knowledge of wildlife and a few preschool level tricks to surviving in the wilderness they’d picked up during their stint in the Boy Scouts years ago. Apart from that, neither of them brought much to the table as it was. The idea of being shipped off with a group of equally unprepared ponies just didn’t sit well with him. More than that, he felt a debt was owed to his new patrons and dragging them off to a place like the one they were going to wasn’t exactly the best way to say, "thank you for all you’ve done."

“Do you not trust my judgment?” Celestia inquired with a calm visage as she dragged Chris away from his own wonderings.

Chris swallowed the lump in his throat as he made to speak, but Keon had beaten him to the punch.

“To be brutally honest, no. At least, that’s what he would like to say,” Keon said. “But, in light of not stepping on anyone’s golden horseshoes, he’ll feed you some sugar-coated BS.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus like that.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Keon said as his lips creased into a smirk, his expression bordering on smug. “Anyway, are you telling me you can stare down a dragon, but you can’t speak your mind with our benevolent host?”

‘Benevolent?’ Celestia thought with an amused expression before she turned to Chris and said, “It was an honest question, and I’m seeking an honest answer.”

Chris held the back of his neck with one hand as he looked to the sky and thought of how he wanted to say what he felt needed to be said. However, when he spotted something in the sky, he quickly lost that train of thought as he was now focused on a blue blur flying past overhead and leaving a rainbow colored streak in its wake.

“What’s that?” Chris asked, prompting both Celestia and Keon to join him in peering into the sky.

Keon held his hand towards the sky to block out the sun and squinted through the bright light to focus on the object before deciding whatever it was, it was too small and moved way too fast to make out.

“It appears Rainbow Dash is out for some light exercise,” Celestia commented offhandedly.

Chris’s eyes widened while Keon gave an impressed whistle in response to his surprise.

“Are you serious?” Chris asked as he tried to follow the newly identified Rainbow Dash. “Fluttershy told me that pegasi can fly at about sixty five miles an hour during level flight and some really exceptional ones have clocked in at about eighty. From here it looks likes she’s doing maybe three times that.”

“Yeah, she’s moving like a jet,” Keon said, nodding his head approvingly, clearly impressed. “Maybe I should have taken that offer to come and watch her after all.”

Celestia smiled as Rainbow Dash went into a dive, increasing her speed even further. “As I’ve mentioned before, those six mares are quite capable, and very exceptional,” Celestia stated matter-of-factly. “Only one out of every million pegasi born can exhibit such flight power, even I cannot hope to match her in sheer aerial speed, although my size does contribute to that factor.”

“So, still having any doubts?” Keon asked as they watched Rainbow Dash perform some rather impressive barrel rolls and flips.

“Even if I did voice my doubt, I have a feeling Celestia would manage to convince me otherwise anyway.”

“I assume Rainbow Dash’s performance has won you over then?” Celestia ventured and got a simple nod from Chris in response. “If that’s that case, I feel that there is only one more order of business left for us to discuss.”

“There’s more?” Chris asked.

Celestia nodded. “I would like for you to consent to a verbal confidentially agreement, one that’s only bound by your word.”

“You don’t want us to tell anyone about this, but why?” Keon asked curiously. “I assumed you would want to let all the other head honchos know about such big plans.”

“I did not come to this decision easily,” Celestia said as though what she had to say had been weighing heavily on her mind. “I will not lie to you, I wish to be in control in establishing first contact with your world. If we do not keep our intentions known solely to those that need be made aware, I’m afraid things may go awry quite quickly.”

“I don’t follow,” Keon admitted while Chris simply remained quiet as he considered what Celestia had to say.

“Once every nation is brought into the know, those that seek the same thing as I will engage in a mad scramble to collect what EONs remain for their own gain. Vice versa, those that would not wish for such a union between our worlds may seek to eradicate them entirely to prevent such from happening,” Celestia explained. “The monopolization of such power in the wrong hooves could be disastrous for both Equis and your Earth, if the initial contact between our worlds is handled poorly.”

“Not to be rude, but isn’t that way of thinking rather hypocritical?” Chris asked carefully. “If we manage to bring back an EON, Equestria will be the only country to have one in its control, at least for some time.”

“I cannot ignore my own obligations as a leader, and as such, I must act in the interest of my own subjects first and foremost,” Celestia reasoned. “Our world is comprised of many nations and involving them all initially will make matters unnecessarily convoluted. If anypony has the hooves both delicate and strong enough to bear such a responsibility, it is I.”

“So just cut out the middle man, huh? I respect the hustle, but I guess things would get pretty nutty with so many countries deciding on how to make this work,” Keon agreed. “I can only imagine how crazy things are going to get on our side of the fence. If a gateway to another world suddenly opens up and talking ponies step through it saying, 'we come in peace.'”

“If this is something you feel would be better handled with you as the frontrunner, I’m not going to argue with you, this is your world after all,” Chris said while keeping strict eye contact with Celestia. “I haven’t been here long, but from what I can tell humans can relate to ponies easily enough. If there is an ideal species here to establish first contact with us, it’s probably the Equestrians.”

Celestia smiled appreciatively. “I’m happy you believe so.”

“He only thinks that because he hasn’t met Strong Horn yet, that guy may as well be a furry-ass human,” Keon said before he took notice of Rainbow Dash as she descended towards their position on the balcony. “And we might want to move, looks like Rainbow is coming in hot,” he warned while taking a precautionary step out of the way.

Chris looked to the sky just as Dash came flying in overhead, causing him to duck out of her way.

“Sorry about that!” Dash shouted as she circled the balcony a couple of times before finally touching down. “How’s it hanging everypony… er, I mean, everyone?”

“Good afternoon to you as well, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia greeted warmly. “I see you are in high spirits.”

“Kinda hard not to be after an awesome flying session like the one I just had,” Dash said while wiping some sweat from her brow with her hoof. “And you won’t believe it but I just passed by a huge dragon on my way back, it had to be the most random thing ever.”

“I think we could believe it,” Keon said with a simple shrug.

“Really?” Dash asked with a raised eyebrow. “Well, that’s cool then. But what’s going on out here, did I fly in on something private? I mean, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Celestia looked towards Chris, who drew his fingers across his lips as though he were sealing them shut. Celestia nodded.

“Actually, we’re quite finished here,” Celestia said as she turned on her hooves. “In fact, we were just on our way to have lunch. Would you care to join us? I’m sure my guests and the girls alike grow tired of waiting for our arrival.”

Dash shrugged. “Sure, why not? I can go for some grub.”

“Excellent,” Celestia said, looking rather pleased. “Mr. Chris, Mr. Keon, if you would be so kind as to follow me.”

Chris shifted his backpack over his shoulders as he, Keon, and Dash made to follow Celestia.

“So, the dynamic duo is finally back together, huh?” Dash said in a casual tone, hovering between Chris and Keon as they walked.

“I don’t think there’s anything dynamic about us, but it’s cool to have my boy back,” Keon said as he scrolled through the pictures they’d just taken. “Not bad, I see Rarity’s got a bit of talent for photography.”

Dash peeked over Keon’s shoulder to see what he was looking at. “Man, you humans have the coolest stuff,” she muttered before her eyes widened at seeing the dragon in the photo. “Hey, that’s the dragon I saw a little while ago,” she said as she pointed her hoof at the LCD. “What were you guys doing? Having a photo shot with him?”

“Are you kidding?” Chris asked while pointing to the dragon in the photo. “Are we looking at the same thing? It would have been a crime against humanity not to take pictures with him.”

Dash slowed her pace a bit as she thought about it. “Yeah, dragons are pretty gnarly I guess. But what was he doing here?”

“Kinda of a long story,” Chris said with a sigh, preparing to reiterate the tale.

A short while later Celestia, Chris, Keon and Dash arrived at the banquet hall where Luna was waiting for them outside the doors.

“Just one moment, please,” Celestia said to Chris, Keon and Dash, prompting them to stand in place as she made her way to meet Luna.

“Has all gone well, Sister?” Luna inquired the moment Celestia stepped forward, a look of slight nervousness marring her features.

Celestia nodded her head and displayed a small smile. “Yes, Sister. Both Mr. Chris and Mr. Keon are on board for what we have planned. Now we only need the Elements to cooperate and agree to accompany them on this exploit.”

“I’m sure that Twilight Sparkle...” Luna stopped speaking for a moment as she looked over Celestia’s shoulders towards the three patiently waiting for them to finish. “And Rainbow Dash will eagerly agree,” Luna reasoned. “However, how do you feel that the others will respond?”

“I have faith in my little ponies,” Celestia answered, her voice full of confidence. “They will follow what their hearts tell them.”

“I see,” Luna said as she looked down at her hooves in thought.

Celestia put a comforting hoof on Luna’s shoulder. “Do not ruminate on such concerns, Sister. All will be well. Besides, there’s a matter that concerns me more at the moment,” Celestia said as her soft features tightened, a more serious visage replacing her relaxed demeanor.

Luna lifted her head back up, her eyebrows knitting together. “Yes, I sense his presence as well, although I’m confident he’s intentionally making his presence here known to just the two of us.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Celestia said in agreement. “Clearly he’s waiting for an opportune moment to reveal himself and cause a ruckus.”

“A ruckus?” a brown unicorn with a graying, black mane and wearing a dark gray blazer interrupted as he came slinking out of the shadows from behind Luna. “I think the word you’re searching for is, 'chaos', dear Princess.” He winked of one of his sickly yellow eyes as he ended his sentence.

Both Celestia and Luna looked down at the unicorn before them. Celestia wore what could only be described as an irresolute smile while Luna’s face remained stoically neutral.

“Sweet Luna, will you forever shower me with that perpetual look of misprize?” the unicorn inquired, pouting in mock sadness. “Nevertheless, a little birdie has told me that you two have found quite the interesting pair of toys while I was away, on a task which you so graciously bestowed upon me.” The unicorns’ large yellow eyes became glossy as they filled with tears. “And you couldn’t so much as send a letter to inform me of what was taking place in my absence. Truly, I’m hurt.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Look, Dis…”

“Nah ah ah, please call me...” He paused as he looked down at his flank and scrunched his brows together in heavy concentration. “Let’s see, what would make a good pony name?” he pondered aloud before exclaiming, “Accordion Whispers!” As he did, an accordion shaped cutie mark slowly faded into existence on his flank.

“Accordion Whispers?” Luna repeated, holding her nose high in protest. “That name is just…”

“What?” the newly named Accordion Whispers interrupted her. “Just as trite and pretentious as any other pony name?”

Luna made to retort. However, Celestia quickly cut her off. “The name is fine. Even so, I must ask you, why the charade?”

Accordion Whisper's mouth creased into a large, shit eating grin. “I fear your esteemed guest beyond that door won’t take too kindly to me crashing their little shindig. Besides, your new playthings seem like such delicate fellows, I don’t want them on edge right away, so just play along. Furthermore, the pony makeup suits me quite well if I do say so myself.”

Luna looked down her muzzle at Accordion Whispers, a stern expression on her face. “We will not tolerate any foul play from you. Do I make myself clear?”

“Foul play?” Accordion Whispers chuckled mirthfully. “I think I’ve been quite well-behaved as of late, not to mention following every trivial request you two so lovingly ask of me. I suspect I should have earned a diminutive amount of trust by now, wouldn’t you agree?”

Celestia sighed, clearly vexed by Luna and Accordion Whisper's banter. “I suppose you have. In fact, it’s time you were made privy to our plans.”

Luna’s eyes widened. “I thought we agreed to keep our plans to only those directly involved.”

Accordion’s ears perked up in interest. “You had my curiosity now you have my attention, do please go on, dear Princess.”

Meanwhile

“Who’s this joker?” Dash asked as she watched Celestia and Luna converse with the brown unicorn that had just arrived, seemingly out of thin air.

“He seems pretty familiar with the princesses, you really don’t know him?” Chris asked, scrutinizing the pony with the oddly colored eyes carefully.

Dash shook her head in response. “Nope, I’ve never seen him before. Could be one of the princesses' advisors or something, not like I know what goes on around here.”

“Well, whoever he is, he looks like he’s been smoking some really good shit,” Keon said, taking note of the pony's abnormally yellow eyes.

“Down, Fido, they’re coming over,” Chris whispered to Keon as Celestia, Luna and Accordion Whispers sauntered over to them.

“Forgive us for having made you wait,” Celestia started as she held out a hoof to introduce the pony to her right. “This is Accordion Whispers our…”

“Master of Whispers!” Accordion said while extending his hoof and shaking Chris’s hand. “It’s quite the honor to finally meet our oh so special visitors,” he added as he began to shake Keon’s hand to the point where his own foreleg popped off like a broken action figure's.

“Holy fuck! Dude, your arm!” Keon shouted as he dropped the severed appendage to the ground, and he, Chris and Dash backed away from it in horror.

Celestia and Luna glared at Accordion while he merely chuckled as he knelt down to retrieve his foreleg and twisted it back into the joint, a sickening pop accompanying it. “Sorry about that, I just go to pieces when meeting someone new.”

“How did you do that?” Chris asked, his face now adopting a confused look as opposed to the horrified one he had just worn.

“It’s just a little magic trick to break the ice, I wouldn’t worry about it,” Accordion said with a satisfied grin.

“A magic trick? I’ve never seen a pony do anything like that before. Heck, I’ve only ever seen Discord do something that weird,” Dash cut in while folding her forelegs over her chest and giving Accordion a suspicious stare. “What’s does a Master of Whispers do, anyway?”

“My dear Dashie, I advice our princesses on matters of espionage and state intelligence, of course,” Accordion answered as though it were obvious.

“Hey, how do you know me by that name? Only my friends call me that,” Dash asked while getting up in Accordion's face.

Accordion closed his eyes and held his muzzle high. “I wouldn’t make much of a Master of Whispers if I didn’t,” he reasoned as he gave Dash a pat on the cheek, much to her annoyance, before turning his attention back to the pair of humans. “So, good sirs, how have you found your stay in Equestria thus far? Dull, boring, lacking in all things fun?”

Chris and Keon looked between one another, both of them taken aback by the odd question and even odder pony.

After having finally found his voice, Chris said, “Well, uh… besides the timberwolves and the fact that I could really go for a cigarette, it’s been one heck of an experience that’s for sure.”

“I passed out in my own puke last night, so I can’t say things have been all boring,” Keon answered.

Accordion burst out into laughter, using his hoof to wipe away a stray tear. “Oh, you humans are a delight already. It’s so refreshing to know that we’ll get along just fine.”

“Right, I think we’ve kept the other guests long enough,” Celestia cut in while directing a hoof towards the banquet hall door. “Shall we?”

Chris and Keon merely nodded as they followed Celestia’s lead, only stopping when Celestia did so herself before opening the door.

“Before we enter, you should know that many of high standing have chosen to join us today in the hope of rectifying missed opportunities last night,” Celestia explained. “Admittedly, your reception party did not turn out to be the ideal setting for formal meetings, I’m afraid.”

“I can see that,” Chris said, having recalled the state Keon had been in the previous night.

“Sorry, I didn’t think that the Ursa Killer would kick my ass like it did,” Keon offered as an excuse. “But I’m all sobered up now, so let’s do it.”

Celestia nodded as her horn became shrouded in a golden aura, the doors to the banquet hall doing the same as they opened, and Chris and Keon instantly found their ears assaulted by the sound of jumbled chatter.

“Whoa,” Dash mouthed to herself. “With this many ponies, it’s like the Gala all over,” she stated, taking note of the numerous circular tables set up throughout the banquet hall, currently occupied by the nobles of Canterlot.

Meanwhile, Chris and Keon surveyed the large dining room, both of them guessing that there were easily over a hundred guests present.

Chris soon felt the beating of his heart start to pick up as gradually every pair of eyes in the room focused on them, and the previous chatter metamorphosed into a suffocating silence. Unlike his friend, who was seldom bothered by attention and large crowds, he hated being subjected to the scrutiny of so many curious eyes. At least during his wanderings through Ponyville he had the luxury of not being confined to a single area, and the ponies had quickly dispersed after a few words from Applejack.

Having taken notice of Chris’s clear look of unease, Luna cleared her throat in order to draw the eyes of those present to herself. “Please, everypony, continue as you were. We’d rather not our guests become uncomfortable.”

With Luna’s words uttered, the nobles and aristocrats of Canterlot reluctantly went back to their own idle chatter, only sneaking in a curious stare occasionally when they could do so relatively discreetly.

“Don’t worry, I get kinda of freaked out by all the big pony eyes staring at me too,” Keon whispered to Chris as they made their way through the aisles of tables and guests, shaking many enthusiastic hooves they found shoved into their hands along the way before an all too familiar pink pony came bouncing up to them, in every sense of the word.

“Keon, Chris, and there you are Gummy!” Pinkie shouted the moment she came to a stop in front of Chris and Keon. “I was really worried, but it looks like Keon has been taking super duper extra special care of you,” she cooed to Gummy before rearing up on her hind legs and plucking him off of Keon’s shoulder and wrapping them both in a simultaneous hug.

Keon looked away from Pinkie as she did so. “It’s not that big of a deal,” he said while scratching his cheek with an index finger a bit awkwardly. Tilting his head towards the ceiling, he suddenly found the sight of it quite interesting, as he tried to think of literally anything other than what had happened between them that morning.

Chris quirked an eyebrow as he looked curiously between Keon and Pinkie, the former wearing an expression that was rather jarring on his friend's usually goofy looking face. Sighing to himself, Chris shot Celestia a hesitant smile as he walked up to Keon and threw an arm around his shoulder. “Mind if we have a word alone?” Chris asked as he pulled Keon away from Pinkie and, by extension, the crowd.

“Alright, so, what the hell was that all about?” Chris asked after they had moved out of earshot of Pinkie, Celestia, Luna and Accordion. “I haven’t seen you look that jittery around a girl since you asked my sister to our eighth grade social.”

Keon grinned at Chris nervously. “Look, you have to believe me when I say that what I did to Pinkie was a complete accident, and I don’t mean the smoking, that part was intentional.”

Chris’s eyes widened before he grabbed Keon by the collar and pulled him close. “You didn’t... Please, tell me you didn’t do what I’m thinking. You had the sense not to; she’s a…” Chris paused in the midst of his sentence, halting himself from saying anything derogatory. “Well, damn, you know what she is. That’d be wrong on so many levels.”

“Yes, I know what she is, and no, I didn’t hop in the saddle with her, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Keon answered, making sure to keep his voice at a whisper, “but I may have scratched her to the point of her nearly dowsing my bed in something other than urine. Honest mistake, I swear it.”

Chris was silent for a moment as he assessed what Keon had said. “Wait, so you were just scratching her, like behind the ears?” Chris asked curiously, finally releasing his hold on Keon’s hoodie.

Keon slowly nodded as he massaged his throat. “Well, yeah, with these ponies being so plush, it’s hard to resist, you know what I mean, kinda of like when a puppy is next to you. But it turns out it’s sorta of a sensual gesture here. I guess they have some sensitive spots behind the ears, at least Pinkie does.”

Chris slapped his hand on his forehead in disbelief. “Damn, the implications of scratching them never even crossed my mind when I was…oh, god, what have I done?”

“Ah, so you couldn’t keep your greasy mitts off some ponies yourself, huh?” Keon said with a large grin. “You’ve got the look of someone who’s fucked up big time. Do I even want to know who you touched?”

“No, you don’t, but just like you, I didn’t know,” Chris retorted. “I think from now on we should keep our hands to ourselves, it would be in our best interest to not go around sending out the wrong signals that might cause some misunderstandings. Especially here of all places where we don’t know what’s appropriate physical contact, not to mention their gender ratio could make things even more complicated than it already is.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just have a look around and take note of just how many of the guest here are female. Their gender ratio is so skewed that most of them probably live their entire lives without ever being with a male. Try letting that sink in for a minute and maybe you’ll realize that a pony deprived enough might actually think someone like you is a good catch. So, don’t go around giving any of them a reason to get interested, capiche? The last thing we need is you in some screwed up Jerry Springer romance with a pony.”

“Is this really something we need to discuss so seriously?” Keon argued. “Besides, like you alluded to, they’re ponies, admittedly a bit anthropomorphic, but still ponies. We probably look pretty gross to them, right? I don’t think we’ll be beating them off with sticks anytime soon, regardless of how short they are on males.”

“Stop assuming, or did you forget we’re in a world with more than one species capable of coherent thought? It should go without saying that their view of what is and what isn’t attractive is way different than ours,” Chris said as he cast a glance over his shoulder, taking note that Celestia and the others were casually conversing with one another, apparently fine with letting them have their private little conversation.

Turning his attention back to Keon, Chris continued, “You should know, I’ve already got an admirer of my own that followed me all the way here. It could just be that she thought it would be fun for her and her friend to play spy kids, or maybe it’s something else entirely, hell, I don’t know. The point is, we don’t know how these ponies could view us in that manner, so let’s not rule anything out.”

“I think you’re just over thinking things,” Keon said as he grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter that passed by.

Chris pressed his index finger against Keon’s forehead. “No, you’re just not thinking enough. We’re representing humanity: Acting with reckless abandon isn’t part of the equation anymore. Or did you forget; we’re a part of something big here, so let’s not fuck this up. And put the damn champagne down!” Chris hissed through clenched teeth as he made to grab the champagne from Keon, only for Keon to pull it out of his reach.

“Whoa, dude, chill, it’s just one glass, besides I’ve already talked with the big wigs, so you can chat it up with them this go around if you think I’m just gonna mess things up for humanity. Besides, I’d rather entertain the children at the kiddy table anyway.” Keon said as he pointed towards a table where an aquamarine unicorn was waving at them enthusiastically, apparently trying to flag them over. “That one looks like she really wants to meet us.”

Chris looked to where Keon was pointing and spotted the table currently occupied by Lyra, Bon Bon, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Vinyl and a very disgruntled looking Spike.

“Speak of the devil, that’s my number one fan right there,” Chris said, “and it looks like our two teammates that you haven’t met are over there too.”

“Well then, it would only be polite for me to go say ’hello’,” Keon reasoned as he made to move but not before a shadow fell over him and a large hand landed on his shoulder.

Looking up, Keon was slightly surprised to find that it was Strong Horn. Strong Horn took a drag of his cigar and blew the smoke into the air before looking down at the two humans.

“I’m impressed you were able to crawl out of bed this morning after having a shot of that Ursa Killer.”

Keon held his head where he could still feel a lingering headache from his hangover. “Then that makes two of us. What the hell did you put in that stuff, anyway?”

“You’d have to ask the goats that brew it up back in Mons,” Strong Horn answered.

“If I’m ever in your neck of the woods, remind me to ask them then, but right now I suppose you’re looking to settle up on our little bet?” Keon puzzled out while digging his free hand into a pocket and pulling out a wad of crinkled up bills. “Here you go, my man,” Keon said as he handed Strong Horn a twenty dollar bill. “One Thomas Jefferson, as promised.”

“It’s Andrew Jackson on the twenty, you idiot,” Chris said, though without any malice as he simply considered Keon’s stupidity par for the course.

“What difference does it really make?” Keon asked, not really seeming to care.

Strong Horn held up the bill to his face, scrutinizing it carefully. “I thought our agreement was on currency, what exactly am I to do with a piece of paper with a funny looking hyoman on it?”

“That right there, my man, is super cool, trans-dimensional, alien money, use your imagination, big guy,” Keon answered before taking a swig of the champagne in his hand. “Personally, I’d save it if I were you: It might actually have some value here sooner than you think.”

Strong Horn raised a brow as he said, “Sooner than I think, what would you mean by that?”

“He means nothing by it,” Chris interrupted as he struck out a hand towards Strong Horn. “I’m Chris, by the way, the less abrasive human.”

Strong Horn took Chris’s hand in his own baseball glove sized one and shook firmly while Keon chose that moment to slip away.

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Strong Horn said.

“Likewise,” Chris replied while taking in the minotaurs appearance, finding his large size more or less expected. However, his choice of clothing being as lavish as it were was more than surprising for a creature known for its brutality in legends. “And I’m sorry about my friend pulling one over on you like that, I’d reimburse you if I could, but my cash is as useless as his, I’m afraid,” Chris added.

“No apologies needed, he held true to his word after all,” Strong Horn said calmly, clearly not upset by Keon’s underhandedness. “Besides, the bet was in good fun, and it’s my fault for not having enough foresight to realize that a hyoman wouldn’t have the proper currency to begin with.”

Chris let out a breath in relief, thankful that the hulking minotaur didn’t have the urge to kick Keon’s ass after having been played for a fool. Admittedly, he and Keon had been in their fair share of schoolyard scuffles together, but taking on a pissed off minotaur in a fist fight would surely be a one-sided beating. One he was happy to have avoided sharing with his tactless friend, not to mention the trouble a confrontation involving the two of them would cause for Celestia and Luna.

Chris chuckled somewhat nervously. “I’m just thankful you’re a good sport, people have gotten into fights over less where I’m from.”

Strong Horn took another deep drag of his cigar before he spoke. “Now that I think about it, how do hyomans typically settle their disputes? From what I’m told, you humans wield rather impressive technology, one can only reason that your weaponry is similarly impressive. It would have to complicate any larger disputes among your kind.”

“If you only knew how right you are,” Chris returned.

Strong Horn smirked. “Your friend was content with glossing over the subject, though I’m sure he had his reasons.”

“His reasons?” Chris echoed. “He probably didn’t want to scare you fine lot.”

“Scare me?” Strong Horn said, looking almost comically affronted. “That makes me only more interested. You do have the time to spare me a few questions involving the matter?”

“Um… sure, I think Celestia wanted me and Keon to mingle anyway, but do you mind if we grab a table? I mean, we’re supposed to be having lunch after all, and I’m pretty starved,” Chris said while surveying the area for an unoccupied table but spotting none. “Although, I think getting a table might not be in the cards.”

“Nonsense, being one of the guests of honor, you have a reserved seat at the long table with us ambassadors,” Strong Horn explained while nodding his head towards the table at the head of the banquet hall where Celestia, Luna and Accordion were now sitting. “Your buddy as well, but it appears the kid has his own agenda,” Strong Horn said after having spotted Keon making his way towards a table a fair distance away from where he was meant to sit.

Chris followed Strong Horn's gaze and spotted where Keon was headed before he responded. “It’s probably for the best, anyway.”

Meanwhile

“What’s up ladies?” Keon greeted as he stopped at the seat next to Lyra, after having finally made it to their table. “Spike, how you feeling, short man?”

Spike looked up from his cup of coffee, bloodshot eyes wandering for a moment before slowly focusing on Keon. “I feel terrible, and I doubt sleeping in a broom closet did me any favors.”

“I don’t believe it, Luna stuffed you in a broom closet last night!?” Keon asked before he fell to raucous laughter at the thought. “That’s some classic stuff right there.”

Spike frowned at Keon as he gripped his throbbing head. “Can you keep that voice of yours down a bit? My head's killing me. Besides, you wouldn’t be laughing if it happened to you.”

Keon continued to chuckle to himself as he said. “You’re right, I’m sorry, waking up with a broom half way up my ass doesn’t sound like fun at all.”

Spike simply rolled his eyes as a retort while the rest around the table stared at Keon in awkward silence until Applejack found her voice.

“So, uh… Keon, right? So, how’s it been goin' there pardner?” Applejack asked as she tipped her hat in greeting, her southern drawl catching Keon off guard.

‘What is this, Home on the Range?’ Keon wondered to himself with an amused expression as Applejack continued to speak.

“It’s a pleasure tah finally make your acquaintance. With all ah heard from Chris, Pinkie and Rarity, it’s like ah already know yah somewhat.”

“That so?” Keon said while looking across the table towards Rarity. “Have you been saying nice things about me, Rarity?”

Rarity fluttered her long eyelashes coyly. “Do you believe I would say anything less about you?”

“I’d hope so, saying anything nice about me would probably be a lie,” Keon said as he turned his attention back to the unicorn that had been staring at him since he'd started heading toward the table, all while grinning wide enough to give Pinkie Pie pause. “So, this is the crew that helped my boy Chris make it here in one piece?”

“Well, two of us didn’t do much of anything,” Bon Bon spoke up from Lyra’s right, a twinge of annoyance coloring her voice. “In fact, we shouldn’t even be here right now.”

“Don’t mind my friend,” Lyra said as she chuckled nervously. “She’s just a bit cranky from all the traveling. By the way my name is…”

Keon held up his hand to stop Lyra from continuing. “Wait, please, let me guess,” he said as he stared at Lyra’s cutie mark in thought. ‘What’s that damn thing called again, a harp, a fiddle? No, that’s not it, it a, uh…’ “Lyre?”

Lyra’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Wow, are you psychic or something, like Madame Pinkie? How’d you know my name?”

“Lucky guess, or maybe your cutie patches leave little room for the imagination as far as names go,” Keon answered.

“Are you trying to say you can guess our names just by looking at our cutie marks?” Bon Bon asked, skepticism clear in the tone of her voice.

“If you have an easy one like Luna or Lyra here, then maybe,” Keon wagered. “But Pinkie’s name has nothing to do with balloons, so, I guess it’s not always a good starting point. In fact, how about we play a little game to test it?”

“What kind of game did you have in mind if you don’t mind me asking that is?” Fluttershy spoke quietly from her seat next to Rarity.

Keon’s eyes drifted to where the soft spoken voice had come from, and he silently regarded Fluttershy for a moment before saying. “Damn, Buttercup, with a voice that sweet I’m liable to contract diabetes.”

Fluttershy tilted her head down shyly, letting her mane flop over one side of her face as she meekly mumbled. “Um… well, uh...”

“Come, Darling, it was just a compliment… I think,” Rarity said while putting a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “No need to be so embarrassed.”

“So, about this game,” Vinyl cut in, “are we going to play it, or what?”

“Game? Did somepony say game!?” Pinkie interjected, letting her presence be known as she landed square atop their table, sending eating utensils spilling off of it and clattering loudly on the floor. “Can I play too?” Pinkie pressed on, ignoring the fact that a great deal of eyes were now watching their table.

“Sorry, it wouldn’t be much of a game if you played it Pinkie,” Keon said to a now deflated looking Pinkie. “Cheer up, it’s not gonna be that fun anyway, I’m just about to try and guess a couple of names.”

“But that does sound like fun, if only I didn’t know their names,” Pinkie said before she let out an exaggerated gasp “I’ve got it, if I concentrate really, really hard, maybe I can forget their names!”

“Sweetie, I don’t believe it works that way,” Rarity reasoned.

“She’s right, yah know,” Vinyl added. “The only way that enigma of a brain of yours could forget anything would be for somepony to bop you upside the head with something.”

“Don’t go giving her any ideas,” Keon cautioned, realizing that Pinkie actually appeared to be considering the option. “But if you really want to get in on the fun Pinkie, let’s make a little wager then?”

Elsewhere

Chris discreetly assessed the occupants as he walked around the table, making sure to shake each of their hooves, claws, or whatever they happened to have, until he finally reached an empty seat to Celestia’s left. After having sat himself down, Strong Horn sat directly to Chris’s own left. Apart from Celestia, Luna, Accordion, Twilight and Rainbow Dash, there were seven ambassadors in all that he’d introduced himself to. Shining Armor and Cadance, Twilight’s brother and her sister in law, respectively prince and princess of the Crystal Empire, from what he was told by Twilight. A minotaur in Strong Horn, a zebra, a deer, a griffon and finally an antelope, a gazelle if he wanted to be technically accurate.

After having settled into his seat, Chris quickly found a menu being laid out before him by a waiter.

“Compliments of Captain Starly,” the waiter said in a posh tone of voice before trotting away.

Chris watched the waiter leave, an eyebrow raised at the odd comment before he shrugged, picked up the menu and scanned over it, and, much to his surprise, he found it nearly void of anything that wasn’t meat. Looking down the table to his right, he spotted the griffon of the group smirking back at him.

“Captain Starly suspected that you and Mr. Keon would appreciate something more familiar to your diet,” Celestia answered Chris’s unspoken question, having taken notice of his apparent confusion. “During trips such as this, Captain Starly always makes sure to bring along a personal chief within her entourage to prepare such meals.”

“Well, I’m thankful for this,” Chris admitted. “You may think me forward but I don’t see the all green diet working out for me.”

“I fully understand, and we’ve already made arrangements to have food items from Saint Cumulus flown in,” Celestia stated.

“Saint Cumulus?” Chris repeated.

“Its part of a collection of cloud cities that are stationed off of the coast of Tall Tale,” Celestia explained. “The pegasi that reside there live almost entirely on seafood and as such they have a large array of choices.”

“I bet you never thought you’d hear something like that,” Strong Horn said, “but that’s nothing if you’ve ever been to the village of Blue Bit high in the Alps of the Frozen North, real meat eaters up there.”

“Meat eaters? As in ponies eating meat and not of the fish variety?” Chris asked curiously.

“Their meat eating tendency’s are actually quite fascinating,” Twilight said, practically jumping at the chance to spread her scholarly knowledge. “Vegetables, fruits, nuts and grains are quite scarce once you enter the Frozen North, and they’ve evolved to compensate for that.”

“Makes sense, we train our horses to eat meat in high altitude areas for more or less the same reasons,” Chris said, “But you guys do have free trade, right? Why don’t they get their greens from the south of them?”

Twilight looked sheepish. “To be fair, they aren’t the most friendly of ponies you could hope to meet, or do business with for that matter.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Luna stated with a frown. “They’re nothing more than a group of troglodytes, best left to their own devices.”

“Luna!?” Celestia said, her eyes widening.

Luna shrugged. “That’s my assessment after so many failed attempts to bring them into the fold. Just how many times have you tried to extend a hoof in friendship to them?” Luna asked. “They’ve made it clear that they are quite fine with continuing the way that they’ve existed for centuries: Without our interference.”

“They must have an interesting culture,” Chris said, “I’d love the chance to study them up close.”

“Although I don’t feel quite as negatively towards the ponies of Blue Bit as my sister, perhaps Saint Cumulus would be a wiser destination,” Celestia suggested. “After all, it’s the only place in the world you will be able to watch professional cloud diving pegasi perform.”

Chris raised his eyebrows and smirked slightly. “Diving off of clouds because cliffs aren’t high enough? That does sound like something I’d like to see.”

“Perhaps you will someday,” Celestia said before she went back to browsing her menu.

Chris did the same, scanning over his given menu, finding some of the choices quite odd, such as the fruit bats and diricawl. As far as he could tell, the only common live stock the menu seemed void of was beef and lamb. ‘Oh, that’s right, cows here can hold a conversation as well,’ he recalled, taking a look at Strong Horn from the corner of his eye. ‘I wonder if minotaurs mate with them or something?’

Chris cleared his throat. “So, uh…Strong Horn I’ve been thinking about something.”

Strong Horn looked down at Chris with a curious stare. “And what would that be?”

“I couldn’t help but wonder if there are female minotaurs.”

Strong Horn stared at Chris incredulously, his jaw working soundlessly, while Chris looked back at the minotaur apprehensively.

After a few moments of stunned silence, Chris hastily explained, “Sorry, I just don’t recall there being female minotaurs in our myths.” Strong Horn still stared at Chris, the look on his face having shifted from incredulity to disbelief. “I wasn’t trying to come off as insensitive or anything.”

Strong Horn’s cigar was on the verge of falling out of his mouth before he let out a hearty laugh and patted Chris forcibly on the back, forcing him forward with each thump. “I sure hope we have females kid, otherwise my mother and every heifer I’ve ever lain with has some explaining to do.”

Chris forced an awkward chuckle. “My bad, I should have known that was a dumb question.”

Strong Horn took another drag of his cigar before he asked, “Now I’m curious, how did you suspect we made adorable mini minotaurs?”

Chris had the decency to look embarrassed at the question. “You’ll have to pardon me if this sounds derogatory, but, um, aside from the humanoid build, you’re pretty similar to a cow right?”

Strong Horn chuckled at the implied accusation. “Why would I find that a derogatory statement?”

Chris scratched the back of his head nervously. “I don’t know much about you guys, but maybe being a likened to traditional bovinae is a something you don’t appreciate, seeing as you’re bipedal and all.”

Strong Horn put out the end of his cigar on his own horn. “You’re right kid, us minotaurs don’t see ourselves as bovinae, not that we view them as lesser than us, we’re just fundamentally different in most regards. That’s not to say I haven’t fooled around at my fair share of milk farms in my youth. Believe me, there’s no discrimination on my part,” he added with a lecherous chuckle.

“Just excellent, now I’ve lost my appetite,” Queen Deerling cut in as she pushed away the salad she’d been picking at. “None present here want to hear about where you have soiled your oats. How about a topic that we all could appreciate or at least one that I won’t lose my lunch over?”

Strong Horn snorted through his large nostrils in response. “Actually, me and the kid where just about to discuss hyoman weaponry and how their kind handle disputes among one another, does that tickle your fancy?”

“Well, that should make for interesting topic,” Shining Armor reasoned, craning his neck to his left to get a better view of Chris, along with everyone else present at the table aside from Zuri, who seemed content with just staring into the glass orb on her scepter.

Chris stared back for a moment before placing his menu down on the table. “I guess I’ll start this with a question of my own,” Chris began. “When any of you look at me, what do you see?” Chris’s audience simply remained quiet, not entirely sure if the question was rhetorical or not. “I’ll tell you what you don’t see and that’s something threatening, right? As humans, we aren’t equipped with very scary apparent or natural defenses, no hooves, claws, fangs or horns. Instead, what we’ve got is the knowledge to create tools and how to use them.”

“And by tools, you mean to say weapons?” Cadance asked curiously. “In the same vein as spears and swords?”

“Spears and swords, those are relics now,” Chris stated. “Pit a man against a grizzly with a spear and it’s not even a competition for the bear. Place a .458 Winchester in that same man's hands and, well, that man is going to have a nice bear skin rug in his living room.”

“That’s preposterous. How would a weapon powerful enough to kill a bear even function?” Pembe argued.

“From the film we were shown by Keon, these weapons of theirs seem capable of firing metal slugs at a high enough velocity to pierce… well, whatever they were being aimed at,” Twilight answered. “There were also some instances where larger projectiles were fired producing explosive force upon impact.”

Chris turned his attention to Twilight, “Let me guess, he showed you guys the Avengers movie didn’t he?” Twilight nodded her head with enthusiasm. “You may want to take what you saw with a grain of salt then.”

Strong Horn scratched his chin thoughtfully. “And what happens when you humans inevitably use these weapons against one another?”

“As you’d imagine, people die,” Chris said before he became silent as he contemplated how to elaborate on such a question. Glancing at Celestia, she gave him in encouraging smile.

“You needn’t worry, Chris. I assure you, we aren’t as delicate as you and Keon may believe,” Luna added. “Surely, you don’t believe we have always been at peace? Our world has had its own demons that we aren’t proud of, as well.”

“Fine,” Chris conceded. “I want you to understand that I come from a position in life that’s given me a rather blasé acceptance of human warfare. A necessary evil, if you will, that most humans simply come to terms with. It’s been a part of humanity as far back as written records go. Disputes, as you know, can’t always be handled with an exchange of words, sometimes action has to take place. That’s where the necessity for weapons comes in. In the past we fought each other with sticks and stones, now we fight each other with weapons that could reduce this entire castle to a pile of rubble and ash. It’s hard to fully express just how far we’ve come in our military endeavors, in part because I don’t know myself.”

If anyone listening to Chris weren’t captivated before, they sure were now; even Zuri had lost interest in her scepter.

“Why would humans ever need to develop such powerful weapons?” Starly asked, her own curiosity getting the better of her. “Aren’t crossbows sufficient?”

Chris picked up a fork and pointed it towards Starly. “This fork would be enough for someone to kill me with but does that make it an efficient killing tool? Everything humans create, we want it to perform at an optimized level; weapons are no exception to the rule. If something is designed to kill, the only way to improve upon that function is to make it even better at killing. Some may even argue that we build such weapons so we won’t have to fight.”

“I see,” Celestia said with a nod. “The threat alone of such power serves as a deterrent, in the face of conflict.”

“Exactly,” Chris continued, “Not many world leaders are willing to risk our planet being reduced to an unlivable wasteland over something that can be resolved in other ways.”

“All of this sounds rather horrible,” Pembe commented. “Surely such devilishly tools need not exist.”

“There’s little point in spiting on an inanimate object,” Chris countered. “They’re only as dangerous as the person wielding them, which is an entirely different matter.”

“I’d hope those with access to such weapons are kept under strict supervision,” Cadance stated. “They sound capable of causing so much harm.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” Chris said with a sigh, “but to be fair there are two beings sitting at this very table that I’d wager could do a similar amount of damage, if not more, if they ever chose to. But I highly doubt any of you demonize them just because of what they’re capable of doing.”

“You mean the Princesses, dear boy?” Accordion chimed in; wearing an almost satisfied grin that someone else could see the princesses for what they truly were capable of.

“Who’s this guy?” Shining Armor whispered to Cadance, getting a simple shrug from Cadance in return.

“From what I understand, Celestia and Luna have a level of control over your sun and moon. As ridiculous as that sounds, wouldn’t it be a simple matter for Celestia to move the sun close enough to scorch this planet?”

Rainbow Dash hovered out of her seat and pointed a hoof at Chris. “But the princess would never…”

“I’m not saying either of them would,” Chris quickly cut Dash off. “I’m just pointing out that they could.”

Dash gritted her teeth. “You’re not listening to me. It doesn’t matter if they could because they would never, how could you even accuse them...”

“Rainbow Dash, it is quite alright,” Celestia interrupted. “Mr. Chris was not accusing me or my sister of anything. He’s not wrong in his assessment. In fact, it would take very little effort on my part to do precisely what he said.”

“But…” Dash tried yet again, only to be cut off by Luna.

“As Nightmare Moon, I attempted to cast this world into internal darkness. What do you believe would happen to a planet deprived of its sun’s rays?” Luna questioned. “It would have wilted away into nothing, just as a flower robbed of the light does.”

Dash was quiet as she slowly hovered back down into her seat, deciding to leave the matter alone.

“Look, I’m sorry I used the Princesses as an example,” Chris spoke to Dash. “I just want you to understand that it’s not the power we wield that makes us dangerous but the choices we make in regards to that power. We humans could have blown each other off our planet by now, but we haven’t. That has to say something positive about us.”

Strong Horn pulled out a metal case and removed a cigar from it and placed it between his teeth while he retrieved a pack of matches from his coat pocket. “For what reason do hyomans fight one another?”

Chris shrugged “Don’t misunderstand, humans may fight but it’s not something we’re constantly doing. In fact, most people are afraid of a fight and would do anything in their power to avoid one. But when we do fight, it can be for any reason: Resources, culture, religion, politics, race and pride. The list goes on...”

“Does it now?”

Chris turned his head to where the voice had come from and spotted a snow white unicorn with a blonde mane strutting up towards their table, exuding an air of self-worth and confidence in his stride.

“I see you’re back from your vacation early, Blueblood,” Cadance commented, not making any attempt to sound as if she were pleased with the news.

“Yes, I’ve missed you as well, dear cousin Cadance,” Blueblood returned, with an equal amount of thinly veiled disdain, as he observed the gathered guests at the table before him. “Besides, I was away for business, not pleasure this time.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “A business, so that’s what you choose to call that chain of comfort houses.”

Chris leaned over and whispered to Strong Horn, “Is it just me or is there some tension between these two?”

Strong chuckled, almost coughing on the smoke currently trapped in his lungs. “I hear tell that Blueblood was a little sweet for Captain Armor in their younger years, unfortunately for him, the feelings weren’t mutual.”

“Oh…” Chris responded, having quickly caught on.

Blueblood snorted at Cadance. “You will do well to respect the service Blue’s Brothels provides, considering the absurd amount of bits it brings to the crown,” Blueblood fired back, smiling, showcasing his perfect teeth. “Even if you can’t respect the cold hard bits, perhaps as the so called Princess of Love you can appreciate the love I spread, at a reasonable price I might add,” Blueblood finished with a mirthful chuckle.

Cadance clenched her teeth, struggling to maintain her composure. “Love and pleasure do not always go hoof in hoof. A changeling couldn’t even make a snack from the love that radiates from one of your rent-stallion houses.”

“Love is such a subjective term, is it not? Besides, my stallions make their clientele quite happy, considering that they are obligated by contract to do so. Shouldn’t that be enough?” Blueblood argued. “If only my sweet aunties would allow me to construct a Blue’s Brothel here in Canterlot or, better yet, that little backwater village to the south of us I could further bolster the crowns treasury and, most of all, I wouldn’t have to make these bothersome trips myself.”

“My dear Nephew and Niece, this isn’t the time or place for this discussion,” Celestia warned. “Now, if you would like to join us, please take a seat, Blueblood.”

Blueblood didn’t respond immediately but opted to stare at Chris, whom he noted was studying him carefully. “So, you’re what all the fuss has been about?”

“The name's Chris,” he said as he stuck out a hand for Blueblood to shake.

Blueblood stared at the offered hand for a moment before reluctantly extending his own hoof. “Yes, a pleasure,” he said before turning his attention to Strong Horn. “You, minotaur, relinquish your seat to me at once.”

Strong Horn looked at Blueblood with an amused expression. “My seat you say… Sure, it’s all yours if you can manage to remove me from it.” Strong Horn said as he blew out a stream of smoke through his nostrils.

Blueblood glared at the minotaur. “Do you know to who you speak, you simpleton?”

“Blueblood!” Celestia hissed. “Strong Horn is a diplomat, and you will show him the proper respect, do I make myself clear?”

Blueblood’s eyes twitched in irritation, but he knew better than to talk back to Celestia. “Yes, Auntie Celestia, it won’t happen again,” Blueblood said as he trotted away from the table, deciding that he’d rather not even be there if he couldn’t have his way.

“He’s an interesting guy,” Chris stated to Celestia. “Any more surprise appearances I should be warned about?”

“Only one more,” Celestia answered. “Her name is Philomena, and I have a suspicion you’ll enjoy meeting her a little more than you did my nephew.”

Elsewhere

“Look, I don’t even like cleaning my own dorm room, no way am I going to wake up at five in the morning to help clean up a whole season, whenever this winter wrap up comes around,” Keon argued with Pinkie, slapping his menu down on the table to further convey his annoyance. “Besides, I can’t ice skate anyway, last time I tried I busted my shit.”

“Then I’ll just teach you how to, silly. It’ll be funarific. Besides, you made the bet, remember?” Pinkie reminded Keon as she came literally muzzle to nose with him. “You thought Bon Bon’s name was Hard Candy, Vinyl’s was Record Spinner, Applejack’s was Bushels and Fluttershy’s was Butterfree. You didn’t guess one name right, so you lost fairsy squarsy.”

“She does make a point there, pardner,” Applejack added with a chuckle, finding the back and forth between the human and pony rather amusing.

“And I was so sure your name was Bushels too,” Keon grumbled under his breath. “Whatever, that still doesn’t make the stipulations any less bogus. All I wanted was another batch of her cupcakes if I won, she wants a whole day of labor out of me. How’s that an even trade?”

“It wasn’t a trade, it was a bet, and I reckon yah should have thought about all that when you were makin' up the rules,” Applejack retorted. “'sides, if you wanted more cupcakes from Pinkie, maybe it would have been a good idea jus' tah ask for 'em.”

“Furthermore, you really shouldn’t think of helping during winter wrap up as simple labor,” Rarity chimed in. “Winter wrap up is such a special occasion for the denizens of our quaint little town. It’s held very dear to our hearts. I’m almost certain that even you will have a wonderful time if only you would give it a chance.”

“Not that any of this is really my business but why don’t you two look for a compromise here?” Bon Bon suggested. “I mean, if you really feel you’re getting the short end of the stick in all this.”

Pinkie wore a large toothy grin as she hopped up and down in excitement. “How about this: I’ll bake you up a batch of my homemade, super-duper, tutti-frutti, sugar, sugar, double sided, frosted cupcakes! In return you’ll only have to help me break up the ice during Winter Wrap Up but you can’t be a grouch about it either.”

“Fine… I guess.” Keon moaned dramatically, pretending to be only mildly satisfied with the deal.

Pinkie drew her hoof to her mouth and spat in it and held it up to Keon. “Normally I like Pinkie promises but this works okie dokie too.”

Keon looked at Pinkie’s proffered saliva covered hoof for a moment with a blank expression before shrugging.

“I haven’t done one of these since middle school,” he said as he spat into his own hand and shook with Pinkie’s hoof.

Rarity scrunched her muzzle in disgust. “Ugh, don’t either of you believe such behavior to be lacking in fundamental social graces?”

“Spare me, Rarity, I know I’ve never fooled you into thinking I was ever well-mannered,” Keon responded after releasing his hand from Pinkie’s hoof.

Vinyl pushed her shades up and stared at Pinkie while wearing a mischievous grin. “Jeez, Pinkie. The guy’s been here less than a week, and you’re already swapping body fluids with him?”

Pinkie stared at Vinyl with her head tilted, the joke seemingly lost on her, while Keon flashed Vinyl a ghost of a smile. “I think you’re the only one here with a mind as dirty as mine. Good thing too, seeing as you’re, like, the only pony that hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing my naked black ass.”

“Haven’t we spoken about your vulgarity?” Rarity commented, with a frown directed at Keon. “I’m afraid I may soon be forced into teaching you proper etiquette, if you insist on behaving in such a manner,” Rarity finished before turning her attention to Vinyl. “Vinyl, was it? Surely you know that using such provocative language in public isn’t very becoming of a lady?”

Vinyl dropped her shades back down over her eyes. “Sorry, miss glitter, you’ve got me confused with somepony else. I’ve never fancied myself a mare of refinement. I’m sure you can tell by my ragtag mane that this high society stuff isn’t really my scene.”

“Point taken,” Rarity responded with a bit of bite in her tone.

Keon placed his left hand down on the table and began tap his fingers absentmindedly against the wood. “So many upper crust gathered in one room isn’t really my scene either. But maybe since the humans are public news now, I can go out and see what you guys have to offer that’s more my sty…”

Keon paused as he suddenly found his hand being lifted from the table by a hoof. “Can I help you?” Keon asked as he watched Lyra study each of his individual fingers.

“Put his hand down!” Bon Bon barked. “Can’t you see you’re creeping him out?”

Lyra continued to stare at Keon’s hand in concentration as she addressed Bon Bon. “Don’t you find it strange that ponies created music instruments that are clearly designed for these?” Lyra asked as she held Keon’s hand towards Bon Bon for emphasis.

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Not this again, Lyra. I told you already, you were never meant to play what you make.”

“But hardly anypony is,” Lyra argued as she turned her attention back to Keon. “How well can you play with these?” she asked simply.

Keon quirked a brow. “How well can I play… how well can I play what?”

“Stringed instruments.”

“Stringed instruments?” Keon echoed, “I can’t play them at all, but I do play a mean Hot Cross Buns on a recorder if that makes a difference.”

Lyra looked at Keon with an accusing expression, “But with hands like this you should be able to…”

“I’m sorry she’s causing you trouble,” Bon Bon cut back in. “Lyra here is Ponyville’s resident luthier, and she’s been searching for a market for a long time now. Minotaurs, griffons, monkeys. Basically, anything with an appendage she thinks can strum a string. And after having met Chris, she thinks she’s found the ideal customers.”

“When you say ideal customers, you mean humans?” Keon asked as he cast a glance down at Lyra’s hooves. “I don’t suppose those hooves are very good for something that needs finesse and precision, like playing a lyre.”

“I have such a useless talent,” Lyra said while her ears folded down and she stared at her cutie mark. “Who needs a luthier? Griffin claws slice clean through the strings, earth ponies and pegasi can seldom play the instruments at all without a bow and it’s rare that a unicorn is born with the magic dexterity to play them either. You can imagine my business isn’t exactly booming,” she finished with a sheepish grin.

Keon reached out and scratched the top of Lyra’s head, completely disregarding what Chris had warned him about. “Cheer up, Spearmint, your talent isn’t useless. I’ve seen Chris blow a gasket over a broken guitar string, he’d love that you could fix it up for him real quick.”

“Chris can play?” Lyra’s asked, her eyes lighting up.

Keon shrugged. “I think most white boys like to mess with a guitar, but yeah, he’s pretty good with one. But don’t dare ask him to sing; he’s a terrible vocalist.”

Lyra beamed at Bon Bon and held up her hoof. “I told you, the red string of destiny is never wrong.”

‘I guess Chris was right about this one,’ Keon thought as he carefully observed Lyra. “So, red string of destiny, huh? You don’t really believe in stuff like that, do you?”

“Of course I do,” Lyra answered with a huge smile, displaying her childlike innocence.

‘I should have guessed as much from the fortune card and their names that they’d have faith in predetermined things,’ Keon mused as he looked down at Lyra with an almost sympathetic smile, thinking of the likelihood of Chris ever even considering such a thing. If their earlier conversation had been any indication of where his friend stood on the matter, he doubted the odds. Chris would be hard pressed to see them as anything but ponies even if they could walk willy-nilly between worlds, he still couldn’t see it. “Maybe you shouldn’t put so much stock behind a silly notion like that,” Keon finally said after his brief pause. “At least if you don’t want to get your feelings hurt.”

“I can take a hint,” Lyra said as her ears fell flat yet again. “But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?” she added, letting her cheerful demeanor return as quickly as it had left.

Keon shook his head and ruffled Lyra’s mane before he stood up from his seat. “And sometimes it’s just better to play it safe. Think about that before you waste too much energy into this pointless pursuit.”

“You didn’t have to lay it on her that hard,” Bon Bon commented.

Keon didn’t respond as he turned and began to walk off.

“Um… are you going somewhere?” Fluttershy asked softly. “Our food should be arriving soon.”

“Just need a moment, don’t worry about me,” Keon said, flashing Fluttershy a fake smile that none of the others, other than Pinkie, seemed to be the wiser about.

“You guys must have struck one of his sensitive spots,” Spike pointed out as they watched the human walk away.

Applejack regarded Spike with a bit of skepticism. “What makes yah say that? He seemed perfectly fine to me.”

Spike shrugged. “He’s acting the same way he did when we had dinner a couple days ago,” Spike explained. “After he told us a bit about his life and Chris he got kinda of mopy and told everypony he was tired and wanted to turn in, but we all knew he just wanted to be alone, kind of like now.”

“It wasn’t anything I said, was it?” Lyra asked while peering in the direction Keon had gone.

Applejack simply shook her head. “Ah still think he’s jus fine, ain’t like any pony to be that flip-floppity with their emotions.”

“We can’t forget he’s a human ,and we really don’t know much about them yet,” Fluttershy countered.

Spike focused his blood shot eyes on Applejack. “Twilight’s convinced he has some repressed emotions and hides them behind his wisecracks and bravado. Wanting to be alone seems to be his response when he lets any of his personal feelings slip.”

“I guess Twi has been studying this feller real careful like, huh?” Applejack questioned. “And here I was startin' to think he was jus one of them types that’s happy all the time, like Pinkie Pie.”

“Come now, Darling, no pony can be all smiles and jokes with no substance,” Rarity added in. “Isn’t that right, Pinkie… uh, Pinkie?” Rarity asked again before finally taking notice that Pinkie was no longer at the table.

“She followed after Keon,” Spike grumbled an explanation before taking a large gulp of his coffee.

Fluttershy smiled. “If he really is feeling down, I’m sure Pinkie will find a way to cheer him up.”

Meanwhile, Chris raised a suspicious eyebrow as he watched Keon weave his way through the aisles of tables at a brisk pace towards the exit of the banquet hall. He’d actually made to stand up to see what was going on, but Celestia had put a hoof on his shoulder.

“Is there something the matter?” Celestia asked.

“That’s what I plan to find out,” Chris answered.

“Why not let my little pony see to the matter?” Celestia suggested, nodding her head towards Pinkie who was following a short distance behind him. “Besides, Philomena will be arriving shortly.”

Chris hesitantly set back down in his seat. “I guess I have to stop acting like his babysitter at some point,” he said just as Keon slipped through the banquet hall door.

“You didn’t have to follow me, Pinkie,” Keon said without even turning around to face the pony he’d known had been following him. “I told you not to worry, didn’t I?”

“How can I not worry when you’re gloomier than Froggy Bottom Bog on a rainy day?” Pinkie countered. “I mean, what’s gotten you so upset all of a sudden? Does Pinkie need to sing you a song?”

Keon silently chuckled at the thought of Pinkie singing as he sat down on a nearby window sill. “Pinkie, I told you already, I’m fine. See this smile?” he said while showing Pinkie a toothy grin.

“Trying a joke on a jokester, you’ll have to try a teensy-weensy harder than a fake smile to fool me.”

Keon sighed. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Pinkie shook her head back and forth. “Nope, so you may as well let it out. I bet you’ll be happier for it.”

Keon laced his fingers behind his head as he leaned back against the windowpane. “Lyra just reminded me of how incredibly naïve, or better yet stupid, I used to be. Wearing my heart on my sleeve, believing something I never had any business believing in the first place, just like her. I don’t know about this fantasy world but in my world you don’t always get what you want, I know as much from firsthand experience and I’ll leave it at that.”

Pinkie placed one hoof under her chin as though she were thinking hard on the matter. “I may not be the smartest pony around but I think your attitude is all wrong.”

Keon quirked a brow. “And how’s that?”

“No pony should think they can’t take risks just because something may not pan out in the end. If you want something, you should put all of your heart and energy into getting it. So even if you fail, at least you’re not left asking yourself a bunch of what ifs.”

“I just can’t get a read on you at all. It’s like sometimes you’re as dense as a block of cement then the next moment you’re as sharp as a tack. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but you’re a lot smarter than you let on, aren’t you?” Keon asked as he got up from the window sill.

“I’m just being the only pony I know how to be best and that’s me, Pinkie!”

“If there is one thing humans might end up envying you pony’s for, it’s that collective optimism you guys have.”

“Isn’t it easier to look on the bright side rather than being a negative nancy? Besides, frowning gives you wrinkles.”

“Wrinkles are pretty low on the list of things I’m worried about,” Keon said as he walked past Pinkie. “Now come on. Vinyl seems to have taking a liking to teasing us, let’s not give her any more ammunition.”

“Why? Her jokes are funny,” Pinkie said while bouncing after Keon.

Keon looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “You seemed pretty lost on the last one she threw our way.”

“Don’t be silly, I get naughty jokes too. I mean, duh, I’m no filly.”

Keon shrugged as he opened the banquette hall door, his eyes widening in shock as a large orange and red bird flew in right after him and Pinkie.

“I don’t fucking believe it!” Keon shouted, now sporting a large, shit eating grin.

“Don’t believe what?” Pinkie asked while looking back and forth.

“That I found my ticket home,” Keon said as he hopped on a nearby table, startling the occupants of it. “Pardon me,” he offered to the ponies seated before he jumped off the table like a wannabe Michael Jordan and tried to catch the bird by its tail feathers.

The bird noticed him and easily evaded it’s would be assailant.

Keon cursed as he went sailing into an adjacent table, sending food, utensils and ponies alike crashing to the floor with him.

Pinkie bounced up to Keon and pulled him out of the entanglement of ponies he was in. “Is this some kind of human game? How do we play?”

Keon massaged the back of his head where he could already feel a bump forming. “Easy, just catch the birdie,” he grumbled.

“Oh dear,” Celestia muttered after the commotion Keon and Pinkie were making throughout the banquet hall had caught her attention. “I hadn’t suspected a meeting with Philomena would go like this,” she said as she and her gathered guest watched the spectacle taking place towards the back of the hall.

Accordion grinned as he rubbed his hooves together. “Perhaps I should add a bit of my own chaos to the fun?”

Luna slammed her hoof down in front of Accordion. “Don’t even consider it.”

“You can be such a stick in the mud,” Accordion muttered.

“Is that a Phoenix?” Chris asked as he squinted his eyes at the bird currently being pursued by his fellow compatriot before realization dawned on him. “He thinks it’s an EON,” Chris said as he stood up. “I’d better go and stop him before he wrecks the place any more.”

Cadance giggled, “Philomena seems to be enjoying herself, leading Mr. Keon and Pinkie around; although, the guests don’t appear to be having nearly as much fun.”

“What is this madness going on?” Blueblood said as he set aside some hors d’oeuvre he had been eating, just in time for Pinkie to come tumbling into his table, sending a glass of red wine spilling onto his pristine white coat.

Blueblood froze, his jaw hanging open in shock. “My… my… my flawless coat!” he all but squealed.

Pinkie grinned bashfully. “Oops-a-daisy. Sorry about your coat. Here, let me help,” she offered while grabbing a napkin and wiping the large splotch on Blueblood's chest, only to spread the stain further and deeper. Pinkie took a step back to observe her work before she frowned. “I think we’re gonna need bleach to get that out.”

Blueblood grit his teeth so hard that he appeared to be on the verge of having an aneurysm.

“Or maybe some dye would be better, that’s one nasty stain if I ever saw one,” she said as she made to jump away but not before Blueblood could slam his front hoof down on her puffy tail.

Pinkie looked down at her tail then back at Blueblood, who was red in the face with rage.

“Do you believe that I’m going to let you off the hook that easy, you overweight, cotton-candy colored peasant!?”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock at Blueblood's outburst and she took a shaky step back forgetting he had his hoof on her tail causing it to snag and for her to fall to her rear.

Blueblood moved in towards Pinkie, looming over her. “This stain has marred my beauty. How do you intend to atone for such transgression against your prince?”

“Transgressions?” Rarity cut in as she trotted up towards them. “It was a mere accident. I saw the whole thing.”

Blueblood cocked an eyebrow in Rarity’s direction. “Oh, it’s you, that mare from the Gala… What was your name again? Never mind, I cannot seem to find a reason I should care.”

Rarity’s cheeks flushed red in anger. “I thought you were deplorable before but you’re even more despicable than I recall.”

“You will do well to watch your tongue,” Blueblood warned, “or I may have you punished the same as I intend for this filthy work horse,” Blueblood spat in Pinkies direction, venom coloring his words. “Now, where are the guards when you need somepony arrested?”

“Arrested? Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on the ladies?” Keon said as he walked up to Blueblood while holding a struggling Philomena in his arms. Spotting Blueblood’s hoof, he nonchalantly kicked it off of Pinkie's tail.

Blueblood was taken aback by the action but held his nose high. “Ah, my aunties' honored guest. Surely you aren’t referring to this pair of paupers as ladies?” Blueblood asked, almost laughing at the sentiment. “These two are nothing more than gutter trash, run of the mill villagers, commoners if you will. You needn’t defend their honor as if they have such a thing.”

“Gutter trash? Commoner?!” Rarity shouted. “You’re speaking to two Elements of Harmony! Insult me or Pinkie once again and I’ll tear you to pieces!”

“You? Strike me? How absurd. Or need I remind you that you’re speaking with royalty? You can’t touch me; no pony can touch me.”

Keon raised a brow. “I touched you, Granted, I’m not a pony, a minor technicality I’m sure but you get the point.”

Blueblood held his poise firm as he replied in a snooty tone. “For the time being I am willing to forgive your ignorance for you do not know who I am as is to be expected from your particular circumstance. However, I must insist you remain out of affairs that do not concern you.”

Keon looked over his nose down at the stain on Blueblood's coat. “Did Pinkie cause that stain you’re having a hissy fit about?”

Blueblood pointed a hoof at Pinkie, who looked to be on the verge of tears. “If you’re referring to this country bumpkin…”

Keon cut Blueblood off mid sentence. “Call her something like that again and I’ll kick your teeth so far down your throat that you’ll need to stick a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Blueblood said while taking a precautionary step back. “I’m the nephew of Princess Celestia; I’m a prince. It would be foolish to lay your…” Blueblood paused as he stared at Keon’s hands, “extremities on me.”

Keon pointed to his own face. “Does this look like the face of a guy who gives a damn about any of that?”

“Keon. you need to relax.” Chris cut in, making his presence known as he entered the scene. “I don’t know what’s going on but if you start a fight with a guy in his position it won’t go over well for any of us. Just listen to how this sounds: Aliens arrive and promptly bloody up Equestria’s prince.”

“Tch,” Keon mocked. “So you expect me to sit back and let him stomp all over them?”

“Don’t make me sound like the bad guy here,” Chris argued back. “You know as well as I do that it’s more complicated than that. We have to keep our hands clean of any confrontation, no matter how small. It’s best if we let Celestia handle this, so I’m telling you to let it go.”

“Fine, you’re the boss, right,” Keon grumbled as he forced Philomena into Chris’s arms. “Don’t let her get away, not after the shit I just went through trying to catch her.”

“She’s a Phoenix, not an EON,” Chris said as let go of Philomena, allowing her to take off.

“Great. I love knowing all of that was completely pointless,” Keon said while throwing his arms up in frustration as he walked past Blueblood towards Pinkie and Rarity.

Blueblood smirked as he watched Keon go. “At least one of you humans seem to have a modicum of sense.”

Chris glared at Blueblood. “I wouldn’t push my luck if you piss us both off there won’t be anyone else to play mediator.”

“Guest or not, I will not accept threats from a pair of alien zookeepers,” Blueblood warned. “I can make your stay here most unpleasant if I so choose.”

“It wasn’t a threat, more like friendly advice,” Chris said with a shallow smile. “Besides, for someone that seems to hold so much pride in their intelligence you aren’t proving to be very bright right now. Blatantly insulting an alien ambassador hardly seems well thought out, wouldn’t you agree?”

Blueblood frowned but didn’t say any more on the matter.

“How you holding up, Pinkie?” Keon asked as he knelt down next to Pinkie and Rarity, the later doing her best to console a sniveling Pinkie, who had her face buried in her hooves.

Rarity peered up at Keon with sympathy in her eyes as she continued to rub Pinkie soothingly on the back. “Oh, the poor dear has simply had her feelings torn apart by that uncouth lout.”

“That bastard is just lucky he’s not on our side of the fence,” Keon said before something caught his attention. “What the hell happened to her mane? It’s… straight.”

Author's Note

Yes I know it's been a long time coming for this update, over two months. That's about the amount of time when people start calling a story dead. But I promise this story will be finished, even if some chapters are longer to get out like this one. Anyway, big shoutouts to DF, he edited this chapter like a boss. It flows a lot better than it originally did. Well readers I hope you found the chapter to your liking, let me know what's up in the comments, and until next time peace.

Chapter 16: Baked Goods

Baked Goods

Blueblood sat stoic and still as he nervously waited outside of Luna’s doors. He had been summoned nearly an hour ago and had simply been directed to wait, which made him that much more nervous. Considering how punctual Luna normally was, the delay was clearly intentional.

Finally, after thinking he could stand to wait no longer, Luna’s voice sounded from the opposite side of the large moon adorned doors.

“You may enter.” She spoke in a calm, hard voice with a not so subtle coldness to it.

Blueblood straightened his bowtie and held his muzzle high and proud. He would present himself to Luna with dignity, regardless of if he knew he was there to be scolded. Marching forward, he opened the doors with authority, not being able to keep from grimacing as he felt a light chill run down his spine once he entered Luna’s rather cold abode.

“You summoned me, Auntie Lu…”

“Quiet,” Luna snapped impatiently as she looked up from her desk and the mounds of paperwork that were stacked on it. “You will only speak when addressed, do I make myself clear?”

Blueblood almost gave a retort; however, one look into Luna’s piercing, teal eyes was enough to tell him that doing so would not be a wise decision.

“Good. You may take a seat,” Luna said as she gestured to a plush navy colored cushion in front of her desk.

Blueblood swallowed nervously, finding the act rather difficult with how dry his throat seemed to have become. With as much poise as he could muster, he cantered over to the cushion and promptly sat down.

Luna moved aside a document she’d been studying on her desk and placed her two front hooves together as she stared at Blueblood with an unreadable expression. “Truly, I am disappointed in you, Blueblood,” she began.

Blueblood shifted uncomfortably in his cushion as he struggled to keep eye contact with Luna’s hard gaze.

“Your actions yesterday were both vile and cruel,” Luna stated. “In no shape or form was the conduct you presented befitting of one of royal lineage, and my family no less. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“What do I have to say for myself?” Blueblood repeated the words as if he hadn’t heard them correctly. “I have to say I shouldn’t be the pony here being questioned. My actions may have been stern; however, they were justified. I am a prince, my title demands respect is given…”

Luna slammed her forehoof on her desk with enough force to split it in two, sending numerous splinters soaring through the air, the action both surprising and frightening Blueblood. “You are not entitled to respect because of a title you happened to be born with!” Luna shouted with enough magic behind her voice to cause her bedroom walls to shake violently. “Respect is something that is earned, never given. A lesson I’m afraid somepony has forgotten to instill in you during your upbringing.”

Blueblood looked at the splintered wood and strewn out papers at his hooves nervously then hesitantly looked back at Luna, not daring to speak a word.

Luna sighed as she observed the mess she'd created in her little outburst. “I purposely waited an entire day before confronting you on this matter, in the hopes that my temper would have subsided enough to punish you justly. It seems I should have waited longer.”

Blueblood’s eyes widened. A verbal lashing he had expected, but an actual punishment? “Surely you jest, Auntie Luna? You intend for me to be punished?” Blueblood asked, clearly finding the possibility of ramifications simply absurd. “I did nothing wrong.”

“The potential consequences of your actions against our human visitors are far greater reaching than you can realize, this is a very delicate circumstance we’ve found ourselves in,” Luna explained. “Even if I somehow found it in my heart to forgive you for the vile treatment of one of our subjects, in the case of Miss Pinkie Pie, neither Tia nor I can turn a blind eye to your threat against the humans.”

“Threat?” Blueblood echoed. “I never did such a…”

“And I quote,” Luna interrupted Blueblood. “'I can make your stay here most unpleasant if I choose,' does that ring any bells?”

“A mere slip of the tongue,” Blueblood stated through clenched teeth. “This is unfair. I wish to speak with Auntie Celestia, surely she will under…”

“You believe Tia would let you off with a slap on the hoof?” Luna said as she used her own sliver-shod hoof to stifle a mirthful chuckle, silencing Blueblood. “Despite the image my sister projects, she’s even more cutthroat than I and deceptively precise in casting judgment. You’ll find I’m a much more lenient mare than she, or would you rather experience Tia’s not so pleasant side first hoof?” Luna offered.

Blueblood chose not to respond. Luna’s dark appearance may have given her a more imposing look than Celestia; however, in the company of both princesses, one would usually agree that Celestia exuded a more potent undertone than her younger sister, one not to be trifled with.

“I see you understand,” Luna said with a simple nod as she looked down at the scattered papers among the debris of her broken desk. “I’ve been mulling over a proper punishment for some time now and I trust I have something suitable,” Luna finished as she retrieved one of the papers off the floor with the aid of her magic and floated it over to Blueblood who gingerly grabbed it with his own golden colored magic.

“What is this?” Blueblood spouted in disbelief. “You’ve frozen all of my assets!?”

“Yes, I believe the Prince of Equestria needs to learn a valuable lesson in humility,” Luna explained while fishing out a few more papers from the debris. “Actually, it wouldn’t be fair to address you as that, considering you have been stripped of that title until I deem you worthy of holding it again.”

Blueblood looked like a fish out of water as his mouth worked wordlessly. “T-this c-can’t be…”

“Stay focused, dear nephew, we aren’t finished just yet,” Luna said before floating over another sheet of paper towards Blueblood. “You’re twenty-eight years old, yet you behave like a spoiled foal. The only way you will truly learn to not take for granted all that you have is to learn to live without it for some time.”

Blueblood held the document up to his face and read over it carefully before shaking his head in disbelief. “Gem mining? Take my princehood, my money, but please, Auntie Luna, do not make me do this as well,” Blueblood pleaded. “I’m not suited for… physical labor,” he whispered the last words.

“Now, how could you possibly come to that conclusion if you have never even given it a chance?” Luna argued the point. “Besides, you will not find a way to weasel your way out of this, so I suggest you abandon that train of thought as soon as possible,” Luna said before adopting a slight grin. “I feel you should also be warned that the mare you will be working under runs quite a tight ship and doesn’t take too kindly to slackers. And, all things considered, I’m sure she won’t hesitate to be especially hard on you.”

“All things considered?” Blueblood repeated as he raised his eyebrow suspiciously. “You make it sound as if my new employer has a vendetta against me.”

“She may,” Luna stated bluntly. “I did mention that you reduced her sister to tears after all. I’m sure that accounts for her swift response to my letter and eagerness to get you out to her mining caverns. I have to admit, I have not read such a colorfully worded letter in well… never, I suppose.”

If it were possible, Blueblood’s pristine white coat would have turned a paler shade of white. “This is what you deem justifiable punishment, throwing me to the wolves?” Blueblood nearly snorted in indignation as he stood back up to all fours. “If so, I believe you are the pony here with a questionable sense of fair play... dear Auntie.”

Luna’s left eye twitched in irritation. “It’s unwise to test my patience, Blueblood,” she warned. “I’ve given you a chance to redeem and better yourself. My actions are for your own benefit as well as those around you, perhaps one day you will be able to see that.”

“If that is all, I’ll take my leave,” Blueblood responded in a flat tone. “I should be making preparations for my departure after all, correct?”

Luna sighed as she rubbed her temples in a soothing manner.”I suppose you should, however, we would like you to issue an apology to Miss Pinkie Pie, Miss Rarity and both Mr. Keon and Mr. Chris.”

Blueblood mustered up all the self-restraint he could to stop himself from glaring at Luna. “So, you would 'like' for me to apologize, are you insinuating that I have a choice in the matter?”

“The choice is in fact yours,” Luna replied with a nod. “This is a request on Tia’s behalf, not my own” she explained. “Tia believes simply ordering you to do it would make the sentiment hollow. This is something she would like for you to do of your own free will.”

Blueblood grinned arrogantly. “If that is in fact the case, I will not,” he said bluntly. “I’m the only pony that’s been wronged, and you believe I should be the one to apologize? Preposterous, I’d sooner roll around in pig filth.”

“I see,” Luna whispered as she shut her eyes to hide her disappointment. “Very well, our business is completed. You may show yourself out.”

Blueblood turned on his hooves without another word and swiftly excused himself from Luna’s presence.

After exiting Luna’s chambers Blueblood dropped the mostly neutral mask he’d been trying to keep throughout his meeting and replaced it with one of rage. “That nag, who does she think she is?” Blueblood spat in anger. “Stripping me of my princehood, curse her to Tartarus.”

“I take it that your meeting didn’t go as smoothly as you’d hoped for,” Shining Armor said as he stepped out from the shadows of a large statue of a pony and slowly made his way towards Blueblood.

Blueblood narrowed his brow suspiciously at Armor. “Why, if it isn’t Prince Shining Armor. So, have you taken up stalking ponies now, or is it just me you fancy?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Blueblood,” Armor shot back. “I’m here to talk to you on Cadance’s behalf.”

“Cadance?” Blueblood repeated. “And what does my beloved cousin want with me that she thought to send her little lap dog to seek me out?”

Armor glared but chose to let Blueblood's slight slide. “She didn’t send me: I came of my own volition. She was on her way to find and confront you on yesterdays matter, but I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to handle this as... proficiently as I could.”

“Handle what?” Blueblood snapped as he shoved his way past Armor. “This matter doesn’t concern Cadance or you, so stay out of my way,” Blueblood barked before running face first into a pinkish shield that sprang from thin air.

“I don’t recall saying we were finished here,” Armor said without turning around to face Blueblood.

Blueblood held his throbbing muzzle for a moment before rounding on Armor. “Are you foolish enough to challenge me, or have you forgotten our academy days?” Blueblood said as his horn glowed a brilliant gold. “You couldn’t beat me then, and you can’t beat me now.”

Blueblood suddenly found his own horn shrouded in a pinkish aura before his face was slammed into the ground and he was hoisted into the air like a piñata.

Armor casually walked up to Blueblood, who was glaring at him with venom as he dangled in the air. “Academy you say? Is that what you considered the colt scouts? We were only seven then.”

“What do you ponies want from me!?” Blueblood shouted in rage. “It was a mere mistake.”

“You’re right,” Armor stated coldly as he brought his face within inches of Blueblood's “And you’re going to fix that mistake, and this is exactly how you’re going to do it.”

“Perhaps it wasn’t fair to say Tia could be more cutthroat than I,” Luna mused before she shut her door, having seen enough of the confrontation and her contingency plan in action. “After all, we can’t always do things your way, dear sister.”

Meanwhile

Pinkie stared at her reflection. Her mane, although straight, had become unruly and matted in places. She sat on her haunches before the mirror, silently stuck in a state of introspective thought. She’d been like that for hours, simply digesting all that she’d been told, trying to wrap her mind around it.

The harbinger of joy, was that not what she was? She lived to see others smile: It was her purpose, her calling, the trait that made her who she was. But she had failed. Blueblood was anything but smiles and it was all her fault. She was responsible for a frown, an expression she’d come to see as her arch nemesis. Had she had it her way, she’d stomp frowns out of existence.

However, doing such a thing was admittedly beyond even her many talents, but that never discouraged her from fighting the good fight. Had some colt or filly lost a balloon, she was there to catch it. If somepony needed an extra hoof, she was there to lend one or four if need be. She now felt as if she were on the wrong side of that fight. If making those around her smile was her purpose, did this one mishap make her without purpose?

Was it even fair to say it was one mishap? she wondered. She recalled that Gilda hadn’t exactly left Ponyville with a grin, something she’d always wished to rectify. Aside from that, her meddling with the legendary mirror pool hadn’t left the ponies of Ponyville beaming either. Even now, she was sure none of her friends were smiling, all because they were worried about her. Once again she was the cause of more frowns.

She was on a downward spiral, she feared. Slowly aiding frowns in their war against smiles, an act she deemed unforgivable. Was this the new Pinkie? she pondered, for the first time really taking note of her reflection. Gone was the jovial Pinkie everypony had come to know, replaced by a gloomy husk of her former self.

She didn’t want that, there were ponies that depended on her to brighten their day. She simply had to get out of this funk. Perhaps accepting the things Blueblood had said to her could be her first step to making amends and getting back on the right track to making everyone happy.

Elsewhere

Chris and Twilight traversed the halls of the castle as they made their way to the upper wing where all of their rooms were located.

“Would you mind spraying a bit of this?” Twilight asked Chris as they casually walked. “And make sure to get a good whiff of it,” she added as she retrieved a small vial from her saddlebag.

Chris stared at the small glass vial of purple liquid currently being floated over to him via Twilight’s magic before gingerly grabbing it out of the field of magic it was being held in. “What is it?”

“It’s, uh… perfume,” Twilight answered while pulling out a notepad and quill from within her saddlebags.

“Perfume?” he repeated while unscrewing the top. “Don’t know if I’ll be a good judge, I’m sure we have a different idea of what smells good,” Chris reasoned.

“It’s more for research purposes than anything else,” Twilight explained. “Now, go on, give it a spray.”

Chris gave Twilight a suspicious once over before spraying the contents of the vial into the air right in front of his face and inhaling in the substance. “Uh… what is that?” he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate the tingling sensation the powerful aroma seemed to cause. “It’s so…” He was interrupted by a sudden bout of coughing. “Strong,” he finished after it had died down..

Twilight nodded as she wrote a few lines on her notepad. “And how does it make you feel?”

“How do I feel?” Chris replied incredulously. “I thought it was perfume, how should I feel? That was perfume, right?” he asked in a jittery tone.

“Well, yes and no,” Twilight answered as she rubbed the top of her mane bashfully. “It is perfume but it was mixed with a very mild magic potion.”

“What, why would you do that?”

“To better understand your magic immunity,” Twilight explained as though her motivations were obvious. “As we’ve talked about before, magic that makes physical contact with you and Keon has diminished effects. I’m merely testing if that extends to inhaled and ingested forms of magic as well.”

“Don’t you think that can be, I don’t know, hazardous to my health?” Chris questioned with a bit of bite in his tone. “I could have been allergic to the magic juice you laced in that perfume.”

“Elder Zuri assured me that it was a very harmless potion,” Twilight defended her position, though her ears folded in shame, betraying where she stood morally on the matter. “I didn’t think any real harm could result from inhaled magic, considering that you’ve been breathing and ingesting small bits of magic since you’ve arrived here.”

“I have?” Chris said as he thought about the implications of such.

“Our world is governed by magic, it's a fact of physics,” Twilight explained to Chris who, unlike before, seemed very interested in hearing her out regarding his curious resistance to it. “The very air you breathe is infused with it, everything you’ve eaten has been grown under it. It’s a constant, pervasive force. Before we can move forward in establishing open relations with humans, we have to make sure that any natural magic you breathe or eat won’t cause any adverse effects on your kind.”

“Hang on a minute, you know about what we plan to do?” Chris asked, recalling that only Celestia, Keon and he himself had been present for that conversation.

Twilight nodded and beamed proudly. “Princess Celestia thought to council me on the matter last night, even though I found it strange that she would seek my approval. I mean, I’m just her student, not a pony in a high position. Either way, I expressed my views and weighed the options and inevitably agreed with her that this is a good idea that could greatly benefit both of our worlds. I mean, just imagine what we can learn from each other, how we could better one another,” Twilight said just as they began moving up a flight of stairs. “Although, I still believe that entering the Valley of the Changing Season’s is rather reckless, it seems we really don’t have a choice in the matter if we want to see this plan reach fruition. I just hope the girls will be as excited about this as I am,” Twilight added.

“Speaking of the other girls, you don’t think they will take much convincing, do you?”

“That depends on which two matters we’re trying to convince them of. I don’t see why any of them would be opposed to the meeting of our worlds, but it may take some persuasion to convince Fluttershy and Rarity to come along with us to the Valley of the Changing Seasons,” Twilight explained. “Rarity because she doesn’t exactly like, as she would put it, ‘roughing it,’ and Fluttershy, because… well, she’s Fluttershy.”

“I see. I guess we’ll have to have a sit down and lay everything on the table,” Chris said.

“Already a part of the schedule for today,” Twilight confirmed. “Just so long as we can get Pinkie up and about that is.”

“Great, the sooner we can get this train moving the better.”

“Agreed, but before any of that, I still won’t feel comfortable that magic isn’t a threat to your kind until I test a few more things, with your permission this time, of course,” Twilight said as she encased her saddle bag in magic and removed a large zip lock bag from within it. “To be clear, I do have your permission, right?”

Chris sighed as he looked at the zip lock bag full of small plastic containers and vials currently held in Twilight’s magic. “Seems like I don’t have much of a choice but to take one for the team and be the guinea pig here,” he said as he took the zip lock bag from Twilight and observed it. “It would be bad news if magic worked like radiation and turned people into like mutants or something.”

“Radiation?”

“Don’t worry yourself about it,” Chris said with a wave of his hand, now eyeing the labels on the empty bottles within the plastic bag. “So, I take it these are samples you need from me?” he asked while reading the labels aloud. “Hair, skin cells, saliva, blood, urine, and…” he paused and his cheeks took on a slight tint of red. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t really expect me to give you a vial of my man juice, do you?”

Twilight arched a brow at Chris’s choice of words before she looked at the vial he was staring at. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be uncomfortable with giving me a sample of that. I forget how self-conscious humans seem to be about their bodies. I could always try Keon, if you’re too embarrassed.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” he lied. “I’m just a bit confused. I mean, I know you’re obviously bright, but when did you become a biochemist? I thought you were a librarian.”

“I am,” Twilight confirmed. “That doesn’t mean a girl can’t have other interest and areas of study, right?”

“A mare of many talents, huh?” Chris responded as he moved the bag away from his face and held it to his side. “I’m gonna have to make a small request here. If I’m going be your lab rat, don’t do anything that could cripple or kill me. I mean, what was that perfume supposed to do anyway?”

“That potion Elder Zuri mixed in with the perfume should have increased the proficiency of your olfactory receptors by ten percent, extremely temporarily of course,” Twilight explained as she stopped in her tracks and scribbled a few more things on to her notepad.

“So my sense of smell should have gotten better?”

Twilight nodded. “I was told in most cases the potion would have taken effect immediately, that means your body may be rejecting it, or it could be from any number of other factors…”

Chris held out his hand to stop Twilight, “Hold that thought, now that I’m trying I think I’m getting something,” he said as he sniffed the air a few times. “Yeah, there’s no doubt, I smell things that weren’t there a moment ago. Like…” he trailed off as his eyes drifted to Twilight. “This might sound weird, but I can smell you, not just the shampoo on you but other, more subtle smells.”

Twilight took a step back and held her head to the side in embarrassment. “It’s not an offensive smell, is it?”

“I’ll be straight, you smell like a pony that’s been rolling in parchment and sagebrush with a little lilac thrown in with a dash of sweat for good measure,” Chris answered bluntly. “It’s actually kind of nice. I’ve never smelled anything quite like it.”

Twilight frowned, “A mixture like that hardly sounds like a pleasant smell to me.”

“To each his own,” Chris said with a shrug. “Like I said, I like it, but then again I think gasoline smells good,” Chris finished as they rounded a corner and spotted Rarity sitting on her haunches. ‘And she smells like a Jo Ann Fabric store,’ he mused.

“So, still no luck on getting Pinkie to come out of her room then?” Twilight asked Rarity as she and Chris walked up to the unicorn that had been sitting idly outside of Pinkie’s room.

Rarity shook her head in response. “I’m afraid not, the poor dear still refuses to unlock the door or even answer our calls for that matter. It’s really beginning to concern me,” she admitted.

Chris nodded his understanding before he turned his head towards the other occupant in the hallway. “He didn’t really sleep out here all night, did he?” Chris asked as he observed Keon sleeping uncomfortably in a hunched over position against the wall with Gummy resting atop his head and a trail of drool sliding down his chin.

“It appears that was the case,” Rarity answered before adopting an empathic smile. “He claimed he only did so because all of his belongings are in this room, and he wished to make sure nothing happened to them. Although anypony could tell he was simply concerned with how distraught Pinkie had become. Sweet, isn’t it?” Rarity finished with a wide grin.

Twilight nodded her agreement while Chris merely raised an eyebrow in response but chose not to answer Rarity’s question in light of asking one of his own. “Speaking of Pinkie Pie, how did her mane deflate like a beach ball on the rocks, like it had been filled with air all this time?”

Rarity placed a hoof to her chin in thought. “I’ve known Pinkie for a long time and thankfully have only seen this occur less than a hoofful of times. Now, pardon me if my theory sounds far-fetched, I’m not as studious as you Twilight, even so, I have come to the conclusion that Pinkie’s mane may act as a visual representation to the state of her mind.”

“Wait, what?” Chris said dumbly.

“I said…”

“No, no, I heard you,” Chris clarified before Rarity could reiterate her statement. “That just doesn’t make any sense. Then again, I have to remember this world follows an entirely different set of rules than my own, magic and all.”

“In this particular case, I’m inclined to argue that it’s simply Pinkie who follows a different set of rules,” Rarity said before rising to her hooves and stretching her back like a cat, loosening and popping a few joints in the process. “Pardon me, I know that was rather unrefined for a lady,” she said before forcing a chuckle. “My body has become unbearably tense from having sat here for so long.”

Chris shrugged. “Not like I’m going to lose any sleep over it.”

Rarity nodded to Chris as Twilight chimed in. “Pinkie’s always been somewhat of an enigma to the rest of us, impossible to completely figure out really. No pony can truly predict how she will behave on a good day, let alone in her current state.”

“Is it really that bad?” Chris asked as he directed his attention towards the door. “I mean, she isn’t like… would unstable be the right word?”

“Unstable? No, no, that would be too strong of a word. She merely has, how should I say… delicate self confidence?” Rarity explained. “Having the confidence to bring happiness to others is Pinkie’s birth given talent, but as you’ve witnessed it does not take much to shatter the confidence she normally has in herself. I can recall a time she regressed to a similar state because she was under the impression that I and the girls no longer liked her parties,” Rarity continued as she held a hoof to her mouth to cover a giggle from the memory. “If Rainbow Dash’s words are to be taken to heart, that silly misunderstanding resulted in Pinkie attempting to replace each of us with a rock, a bucket of turnips, some lint, and a bag of flour.”

An unnecessarily loud yawn suddenly interrupted the trio. “Imaginary friends huh, I remember those days,” Keon said as he wiped the drool from his chin with the sleeve of his hoodie and stood up, prompting Gummy to dig his claws into his hair for leverage. Staring at Chris tiredly, he jabbed his thumb at his own back. “Yo, mind helping a brotha' out? I didn’t exactly sleep like a fat king last night.”

“Yeah, I’ve got you,” Chris said as he walked up behind Keon and in one swift motion wrapped his arms around his upper chest and lifted, causing Keon’s back to pop loudly, making Rarity’s fur stand on end.

“Just what the doctor ordered,” Keon said as Chris lowered him back down. “So, what the hell is that?” Keon asked while pointing to the plastic bag in Chris’s hand.

“My own personal care package from Twilight,” Chris joked. “She’ll probably give you one too.”

Keon stared at the vials in the bag and chuckled while reading the labels on them. “Yeah, I think I’ll have to take a pass on that,” he said before he stared at Rarity. “So, it's safe to assume that Pinkie is still in her self-imposed exile in the room she hijacked from me?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Rarity answered.

“Well, that won’t do, will it?” Keon said as he cracked his knuckles and walked up to the door and banged his fist on it. “Ready or not, we’re coming in Pinkie!”

“What the hell are you doing?” Chris said in a surprised tone.

“Yes, Darling, you are striking that door rather aggressively, that may only serve to frighten her,” Rarity reasoned. “Try to be a bit gentler,” she added.

“No can do, I’m over being gentle,” Keon retorted. “You girls tried to sweet talk her out of that room all last night and all that got us was me room less for the night. And let’s not forget she hasn’t made so much as a peep since she shut herself in there, it’s really starting to freak me out. I mean, what if she…”

“What if she what?” Twilight asked.

“Stuffed herself with ice cream,” Chris broke in nervously before he shook his head at Keon. “Show some tact, would you really want to plant a seed like that in their heads?” he whispered.

“You’re right, I almost forgot we’re still stuck in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, I should keep dark thoughts like that to myself,” Keon whispered back, rolling his eyes as he did so.

“Why would Pinkie stuffing herself with ice cream worry you?” Rarity asked curiously.

“It wouldn’t, I like bigger girls anyway,” Keon said before Chris nudged him in the gut with his elbow.

“Dick,” Chris muttered in good nature.

“Ouch,” Keon responded while rubbing his stomach before he went back to staring at the door. “I still think we can make this easier on everyone by just busting the door down.”

Chris placed his hand on Keon’s shoulder to settle him down. “You know, sometimes you’re just way too emotional. Let’s try a more rational approach first, shall we?”

“And what did you have in mind?”

“I’ll give this a go,” Chris said as he walked up to the door and knocked on it a few times. “Hey, Pinkie Pie, I was told by Celestia that one of the northern lynx they keep in the gardens recently gave birth to a litter of cubs, and I was thinking we could all go down and have a look at them. Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are heading down there as we speak and we’ll need another person that can uh…”

“Throw the new born cubs a welcome to your first week of life party!” Rarity finished for Chris. “Sorry,” she offered with a bashful grin. “That was the best incentive I could think of for Pinkie.”

Chris looked at Rarity in confusion before shrugging. “You know her better than I do,” he said simply. “But doesn’t look like it’s going to work.”

“I don’t get it, Pinkie is normally so quick to bounce back,” Twilight commented. “Why is she taking what Blueblood said so hard? It’s not like any of it's true.”

“Yeah, but does Pinkie know that?” Keon asked as he folded his arms across his chest. “Because I doubt she does.”

Twilight and Rarity looked at one another then back at Keon.

“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked. “No pony would believe any of those vile insults to be true.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Keon countered. “How often does Pinkie get ripped on like that? Probably never I’d guess. She probably took everything Blueblood said to heart. Being as happy-go-lucky as she is, I don’t figure Pinkie understands some people can be dicks for the sake of being dicks.”

“What?” Twilight repeated in confusion.

“He meant cruel for the sake of being cruel,” Chris clarified.

“Oh,” Twilight mumbled. “You know, it’s always so strange to hear something philosophical come from you,” Twilight joked as she nudged Keon in the hip with her hoof, causing him to roll is eyes in mock aggravation. “But you may have a point; Pinkie can be rather naïve about the world at times and wouldn’t understand that Blueblood was just being a jerk.”

Keon groaned. “The more I think about that guy, the more I want to put my foot up his anal cavity.”

“Eww, that sounds rather messy, and quite painful, although Celestia knows he deserves it,” Rarity commented, just as the sound of the door unlocking caught their attention.

Twilight, Rarity, Chris and Keon watched as the door slowly creaked open and Pinkie stepped out from behind it, sporting a large, toothy grin.

“How’s it going everypony?” Pinkie greeted in her usual upbeat tone as she bounced past the four standing in the hallway. “Well, let’s get a move on, it’s not like we don’t have some new baby lynx’s to have super amounts of fun with.”

“Um, Pinkie, are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Twilight asked cautiously while slowly walking up to Pinkie. “I know Blueblood said some very awful things, we just want you to know that…”

“It’s okay Twilight,” Pinkie cut her off. “I know Prince Bluey had good reasons for everything he said. Now, we just have to put it all behind us and move on, right?”

“Darling, first of all, please drop the honorific, Blueblood isn’t worthy of it,” Rarity chimed in. “Secondly, you will have to forgive me for being so forward, but have you been dipping in the cider of the alcoholic variety? There’s simply no justification to be had for Blueblood's behavior.”

“I’m going to have to agree with Rarity here,” Twilight said.

“Come on now, I’ve told you its okay,” Pinkie stated as she put a particularly large smile on display. “I’m feeling just like my old self and everything, honest.”

“According to Rarity’s hypothesis, your mane is telling a different story than the one you’re giving us,” Chris commented.

Keon nodded his agreement. “Yeah, it’s still straight after all, and call me crazy, but your fur almost looks like a darker shade of pink, or maybe my vision is starting to go.”

“You’re just being silly, I’m the same adorable shade of pink I always am, and well, I wanted to try something new with my mane that’s all,” Pinkie said as she stroked a hoof through her straight mane. “Do you like it?”

Keon stared at Pinkie with an expression blank enough to give Gummy a run for his money before finally shrugging. “Works for me,” he said as he placed Gummy on the ground and gave him a gentle push. “Back to you mom, buddy.”

“Great,” Pinkie beamed as she picked up Gummy off the ground and turned to Chris. “Come on, it would be pretty rude to leave Fluttershy, Dash and Applejack waiting for us.”

Chris looked at Twilight and Rarity with uncertainty as he slowly nodded. “Well, alright then, if you’re good to go,” he said as he walked in front of Pinkie, intent on leading the way. “You guys are coming, right?” he added while looking at the faces of Keon, Twilight and Rarity.

Twilight and Rarity shared a glance with one another before Twilight spoke.

“I’ll be coming along, but I think Rarity has something she must do. Right, Rarity?”

Rarity nodded a bit too enthusiastically with her response. “Yes, there’s something I just remembered requires my attention, and I need to look into it as soon as possible.”

Pinkie stared at Rarity with slight suspicion but didn’t comment on her friend’s rather anxious disposition. “Okay then, don’t let us hold you back from things that need your attention.”

Rarity smiled in return. “Of course, Dear, I’ll be along shortly. You have fun now.”

“Oh, you bet. We’ll have barrels of it,” Pinkie exclaimed in excitement. “Come on, Keon, we don’t want to hold Rarity up.”

Keon made no vocal response but merely opted to take a step forward before Rarity chimed back in.

“Actually, I was hopping Keon could assist me with that certain thing that requires my attention,” Rarity said as she looked up at the human who was staring back at her with a raised eyebrow. “If you wouldn’t mind assisting a lady, that is.”

Keon stared at Chris and Twilight for a brief moment, noting that the more equine of the two was nodding her head up and down as she stood behind Pinkie. Shrugging, he bent over at the hip and held out an arm past Rarity. “Lead the way, mademoiselle.”

Rarity’s expression was one of bemusement as she ushered Keon along in the opposite direction of Chris, Pinkie and Twilight. “You never mentioned you could speak Fancy,” she noted as they walked.

“I can’t,” Keon said through thin lips. “What is fancy anyway?”

“You really don’t know?” Rarity inquired. “Fancy is the native tongue of the griffins. I’m certain mademoiselle is a courtesy title griffins give to unwed hens in their home country.”

“It’s French for more or less the same thing, as long as you substitute hen for woman,” Keon commented with thinly veiled intrigue in his tone. “Our worlds draw some weird parallels, don’t they?” he added while staring at Rarity curiously. “So, where are we going anyway? I mean, if you need my help with some heavy lifting or something you might of chosen the wrong human to bring. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m as thin as a twig.”

Rarity gave Keon a once over from head to toe as she nodded thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, your physical stature is rather smaller than Chris’s.”

“Not where it counts,” Keon supplied with a stupid, lecherous grin on his face.

Rarity paused for a moment before shaking her head in distaste or amusement, Keon really couldn’t tell. “Does that crass nature of yours know no bounds?” she asked.

“I’ll let you be the judge of that,” he said. “But like I asked before, where are we going?”

“To the kitchens,” Rarity answered just as they began to descend down the steps of a spiral staircase. “I have just the remedy, or should I say recipe, to turn Pinkie back into her effervescent self.”

“Didn’t she say she was fine?” Keon pressed the unicorn. “Where I come from, that means drop it and leave it alone, but I’ll humor you anyway. Just what are we going to the kitchens for?”

“To bake, of course,” Rarity answered without even turning to look at her bipedal companion. “We’ll bake the most scrumptious cupcakes Pinkie has ever tasted. I’m almost certain that will do the trick.”

“Sorry, I must have missed the part where I became the Pillsbury Doughboy?” Keon jested with a small chuckle. “If you needed my help to fry some chicken, I’d be your man, but I can’t bake worth a damn.”

“Duly noted, but with my instruction you’ll do just fine,” Rarity commented almost dismissively.

“Pst! Yo, over here.”

Both Rarity and Keon stopped in their tracks to pinpoint where the voice had come from. It didn’t take long for either of them to spot Vinyl resting against a pillar next to a large amount of luggage.

“How lucky am I?” Vinyl said as Keon and Rarity made their way over towards her. “I didn’t think I’d get a chance to see my favorite human before I shipped off to Fillydelphia for my next gig.”

Rarity stared at the luggage then back at Vinyl. “And here I’m told I should travel more lightly.”

Vinyl moved her shades down a notch and stared over the brim of them at Rarity. “I’m sure we’ve got different priorities in what we pack, Miss Glitter,” she said while patting a nearby bag. “This is all equipment for my job with only a few personal things thrown in into the mix.”

‘This mare can be so insufferable,’ Rarity thought vehemently as she frowned at the decidedly cocky looking pony before her. “I would appreciate it if you would be so kind as to address me by my proper name, ‘Rarity’, and not Miss Glitter.”

“Whatever you want, Miss… Rarity,” Vinyl managed to catch herself. “But enough about us, how’s Pinkie Pie holding up?” Vinyl inquired. “I hear that son of a nag Blueblood really did a number on her and she’s been sulking ever since.”

“She says it’s all behind her now,” Keon stated tersely.

“I’m not pretending to know much about human facial expressions, but I’m guessing you think that’s a load of horse apples, right?”

‘Well, that’s a cute little euphemism,’ Keon thought, looking somewhat amused. “Personally, I don’t know what to think, but I know Rarity doesn’t buy her story, that’s why we’re on our way to the kitchens to get messy.”

“The kitchens?” Vinyl repeated. “Let me guess, you plan on baking for the baker?”

“Yeah, something of that nature.”

“Why don’t we just kick Blueblood's pompous flank and call it a day?” Vinyl asked, looking rather eager at the prospect. “I’ve got time. Royalty or no, you don’t cross me or my friends.”

“I like the way you think, problem is, my hands are tied,” Keon acknowledged while holding out his hands in front of himself. “I can’t touch the guy, politics and all, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I hear you,” Vinyl said as she started to rummage through one of her bags. After having found what she was looking for, she held out a hoof and gestured to Keon to come near. “Come here, I’ve got something for yah.”

Rarity eyed Vinyl suspiciously as Keon sauntered over to her, noting the unicorn in question was clearly trying to conceal something from her view.

“If you want to cheer up Pinkie, I’ve got just the thing,” Vinyl whispered as Keon knelt down beside her and she produced a brown paper bag from behind her back. “This stuff wasn’t easy to get in Canterlot, but I’ve got my sources.”

Keon took the bag from Vinyl and stared expressionlessly at it. “What the hell is it?” he asked bluntly.

Vinyl peered over Keon’s shoulder to make sure Rarity wasn’t attempting to overhear them. “I know this might seem kind of sketchy, since I’m trying to keep this from Rarity, but somepony’s are too much of a prude for their own good.”

“Did you just hand me some kind of pony drug?” Keon asked as he looked at Vinyl in hardly constrained merriment.

Vinyl reeled her head back slightly, while she grinned. “Let’s not get hung up on the details, but I like to think of happy leaf as a medicinal product. It’s perfectly legal and all natural, but, like I’ve said, some ponies are prudes and look down on the use of it. There’s no way our friend Miss Fabulous over there would let you give this to Pinkie. But if some of it were to happen to slip into some cake batter... Well, how does the saying go again? What somepony doesn’t know won’t hurt them, right?”

Keon was quiet as he opened the bag in his hand and gave it a tentative sniff, his eyes widening after having done so. “Jesus, it smells like weed, really dank weed too, you sure this isn’t weed?”

Vinyl looked curious at Keon’s remark. “I don’t know about this weed you’re raving about, but happy leaf smells different to everypony; it takes on the smell of the substance that makes you the happiest,” Vinyl explained. “For me it smells like polyvinyl chloride.”

The bag crunched loudly as Keon stuffed it into a side pocket. “I owe you one,” he said as he made to scratch the top of Vinyl’s mane but stopped just short of it. “Yeah, I’d probably better not.”

Vinyl tilted her head and stared at the hand hovering above her mane but didn’t comment on it as she watched the human withdraw it. “You know, I’ve been thinking that you and Chris should bottle and sell that smell of yours.”

“What?” Keon replied, flabbergasted, before he made to sniff his armpits. “As some type of repellent maybe, I smell kinda of ripe.”

Vinyl cocked her brow. “You’re kidding, right? No pony even bothered to mention what you smell like?”

“Nope, what we smell and look like to you ponies hasn’t come up in any conversation I’ve been involved in,” Keon confirmed. “I’m actually kind of curious now.”

“Well, as far as what you smell like…” Vinyl started but was cut off.

“Keon,” Rarity politely intruded on the conversation. “Not that I wish to hurry along this cordial meeting we’re enjoying here, but time waits for no pony,” she finished as she pointed to a metaphorical watch on her hoof.

“Fine, I’ll get outta your mane, we’ll have to finish this conversation at another time,” Vinyl said with dryness to her tone, and she held out a hoof towards Keon. “Well, Mr. Alien, I guess this is goodbye for now.”

Keon smirked as he bumped his fist with Vinyl’s hoof. “Yeah, it’s been real, you take it easy.”

“That’s how I live life,” Vinyl said as she turned her attention towards Rarity and stated in a posh dialect of her own. “Miss Rarity, it’s been a pleasure.”

Rarity found no amusement in Vinyl’s taste in humor but replied in kind. “Yes, it’s been a very stimulating experience. Good day, Miss Vinyl,” Rarity finished before turning on her hooves. “Come along, Keon, there’s work to be done.”

Keon simply stuffed his hands back into his pockets and followed Rarity.

Canterlot South Garden

Celestia and Zuri walked in pleasant silence as they passed numerous flower gardens, fountains, and stone statues alike, all intricately but seamlessly woven together.

Celestia took in a deep breath of the summer’s warm and comforting air. “A splendid morning, wouldn’t you agree, Elder?” she inquired of her smaller zebra counterpart.

The zebra stopped in her tracks and stared up at Celestia, a bit of stiffness in her posture but still managing to look amused. “Often blessed with good weather Canterlot is, but easy if one dictates it to be so, is it not?”

“I suppose you’re correct,” Celestia stated truthfully. “It seems as if the weather team in control of Canterlot has a bias in favor of clear skies and warm, gentle breezes, not that I find myself complaining.”

“Princess, we needn’t aimlessly discuss the weather any longer, I know that is not the reason you asked me to accompany you,” Zuri said as she leveled a focused, nearly unnerving, stare at Celestia. “Very little manages to escape the sight of my inner eye, as you may know, Princess. That includes these latest developments involving your human guest. Why you have chosen secrecy, of that I am unsure.”

“As I suspected you were already aware of my goals,” Celestia said with admiration and respect clear in her voice. “It’s why I’ve chosen to come clean with you, considering your clairvoyance is accurate to an almost frightening degree.”

“It’s no more or less than Skyla of the dragons.”

“I would argue that,” Celestia respectfully retorted. “However, I do not refute the fact that Skyla is incredibly perceptive, her age has granted her as much.”

“Princess, you are older and wiser than I will ever be…” Zuri started but Celestia cut her off.

“Older yes, but to say I’m wiser than you, would be selling yourself short,” Celestia said with a light smile. “That’s why I’ve sought your council today: I’m in need of your wisdom.”

“As always, you are too kind, Princess,” Zuri said, letting her hard and stoic features soften as she adopted a smile of her own. “You seek my wisdom, then I shall provide it to the best of my abilities. For not only will these ambitious plans of yours affect Equestria but our world as a whole will forever be changed. Ushering in such an uncertain future is not an easy burden to bear, I’m sure.”

Celestia looked contemplative. “I’m inclined to ask, what do you foresee in this future I wish to pave the way for?”

“Not even I can see that,” Zuri admitted. “Never before has so many variables needed considering to achieve a clear vision. It is simply beyond my abilities.”

“Then let us not talk as if we know of the future but merely speculate on it,” Celestia offered.

“It’s been nearly a century since I’ve had the need to wonder about the future,” Zuri said with a thoughtful expression. “I dare say it brings on a rather stirring feeling within these old bones of mine.”

“It’s curious how a mixture of anxiety and uncertainty can conceive excitement,” Celestia stated. “I feel both from the prospect of extending a hoof in friendship to an entire new world of sapient beings.”

“You sought my wisdom, then I’ll caution you, this road will not so easily be traveled,” Zuri warned. “Optimism is fine, but in reasonable dosages. How readily do you believe these humans will be to receive you, to receive us, to receive our entire world? What I’ve gathered from the pair in our midst is that humans have a very volatile and cautious nature. They may wish to keep you at a forelegs length while you seek to befriend them, not a symbiotic relationship I fear.”

Celestia hadn’t seemed to lose any confidence at hearing Zuri’s words. “I admit there’s a small part of me that would be disappointed if the humans made gaining their trust and friendship entirely too easy. There’s a bit of a thrill to be had in a challenge. And I must disagree with you on symbiosis,” Celestia added. “It’s our and their differences that will lead to a symbiotic relation between our kinds, for I believe they need us as we need them: To propel both worlds into a grander future.”

Zuri was quiet as she studied Celestia carefully before finally speaking. “The choices you’ve made and what you’ve said makes me believe your judgment may be clouded, for what reasons I am uncertain. Barring that, your focus should lie solely on making sure the humans succeed in their quest.”

“You may not be willing to say so, but I believe you already know the outcome of that, as do I,” Celestia ventured. “I have unwavering faith in the Elements of Harmony, they will not fail.”

Elsewhere

Rarity and Keon stared slack-jawed around the castle kitchen; it looked as if a storm had blown through. Pans, pots, and the like were scattered everywhere, with copious amounts of eggs, flour, and cake batter marring the floor, counter tops, and walls. The smell of burnt pastries in the air was thick and overbearing.

Keon whistled. “Not what I expected the royal kitchen to look like, you’d think they’d know a bit about cleanliness here.”

“Perhaps somepony trashed the place as a joke?” Rarity ventured as a guess. “Although, I’d suspect anypony allowed in the castle would know better…” Rarity paused as the sound of pans falling and clanging loudly on the ground behind a counter caught their attention.

“Damn it all!”

Rarity and Keon shared a look with one another before nodding, silently agreeing to investigate the clatter and the voice that had accompanied it.

“Is somepony there?” Rarity called out.

“I thought I told all staff to vacate the kitchens,” Blueblood called as he poked his head up from behind the counter, intent on ordering whoever had entered to leave, but instantly froze upon seeing who was standing there.

Both Rarity and Keon stared at Blueblood in awkward silence as they took in his appearance. His once well groomed mane looked frantic and disheveled while his pristine coat played host to a large number of egg and flour stains.

Keon was the first to speak. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked bluntly.

Blueblood adopted a more rigid poster as he adjusted his bowtie and stared confidently at his unexpected yet opportune guest. “I am preparing a…peace offering,” he answered, not unkindly, while gesturing to a bowl of semi-liquid batter with egg shells floating in it.

‘And here I believed Sweetie Belle was the absolute worst cook,’ Rarity thought as she scrutinized the concoction then Blueblood himself. “And whom dare I ask is this peace offering being prepared for?”

Blueblood could practically taste Rarity’s loathing for him as she spoke her words callously. Never the less, he remained cordial in his response.

“I've been informed that Miss Pinkie Pie has a distinct like for confectioneries…”

Keon looked crossly at Blueblood. “So, now it’s Miss Pinkie Pie? Give me a break,” he interrupted. “Not work horse, peasant, commoner, or gutter trash?” he questioned the unicorn as he chuckled. “Alright, so which one of the Princess put you up to this? My money is on Luna, I know damn well you aren’t doing this out of the kindness of that thing you call a heart.”

Blueblood was surprised to feel a pang of hurt at Keon’s last statement. He knew he could be entitled and even unpleasant at times, but he never felt he was that bad of a pony. He wondered if this was how those around him truly felt but due to his status were too afraid to voice their opinion. He found himself being reminded of Luna’s words: “My actions are for your own benefit as well as those around you, perhaps one day you will be able to see that.”

Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Blueblood answered, “What I do now is of my own choosing,” he lied, something he was more than sufficiently skilled at. “My actions yesterday shamed not only myself but my family as well. I simply wish to wash away this blemish and start anew, if you would be willing to accept my apology,” he said as he stuck out a hoof towards Keon.

Keon studied Blueblood as carefully as he could, searching for any sign of deceit. Not so much as a flicker of the tail or a twitch of the ear arose from Blueblood. Keon finally decided that at the very least Blueblood was a damn good liar to control the expressiveness of his ears, something he’d come to realize gave away any type of emotional flux within a pony. Regardless, he would play along with Blueblood's ruse.

Shaking his head, Keon looked at Blueblood's hoof then down at Rarity who seemed to be gauging the legitimacy of Blueblood's apology with even more scrutiny than he had. “You don’t need my forgiveness,” he said as he put a hand on Rarity’s back and nudged her a bit forward. “Rarity and Pinkie are the ones you owe an apology.”

Blueblood set his hoof down and focused his attention on Rarity. Walking up directly in front of her he knelt to one foreleg and lowered his head.

Keon didn’t think much of the action, but by Rarity’s response, who for her part looked completely taken aback, he figured it meant something significant in pony culture.

Blueblood reached for Rarity’s hoof and held it tentatively in his own. “Miss Rarity, I humbly beg that you accept my apology, I was, as you said, an uncouth lout.”

Rarity pulled her hoof back and leveled Blueblood an icy glare befitting of her sapphire colored eyes. “Don’t get comfortable, I accept your apology at face value, but until I see a reason to believe it and its sincerity we will remain tolerant of one another at best,” Rarity said, turning her head away from Blueblood, not entirely trusting herself to not be swayed by his admittedly good looks.

Blueblood smirked as he returned to a proper standing position. Rarity may have not been completely accepting, but that hardly mattered so long as Shining Armor was aware that he had at least issued her an apology. Her friendship was something he could easily make do without.

“I shall offer Miss…” Blueblood paused looking as if he were trying to swallow a large pill. “Pinkie Pie,” he continued, “my deepest apologies as soon as I’m able to…” he stopped mid sentence, now gesturing to the bowl of inedible cake batter. “It’s the thought that counts, I’m sure.”

“Why, I’d never allow you to feed… that to Pinkie,” Rarity said as she turned her nose up in disgust and trotted over to a nearby cupboard. “You’re fortunate that me and Keon came here for the exact same reason as you,” she said as she magically began removing items from within the cupboards while simultaneously cleaning up the disaster that Blueblood had caused, all while humming a merry tune.

“Is that hard?” Keon asked curiously as he watched Rarity work her magic. “Doing all those things at once like that?”

“Quite,” Blueblood answered, finding himself hard pressed to not feel slight admiration and envy of Rarity’s magic dexterity. “To multitask to that degree takes exceptional talent, a talent not found in your run-of-the-mill unicorn or most gifted ones for that matter. I suppose my original assessment of her needs some revaluation.”

Keon frowned. “Here’s some advice, if you’re really want to sell this whole apology and 'I’m really a nice guy' deal then maybe you should keep pompous comments like that to yourself.”

“You believe me to be lying?”

Keon stared down his nose at Blueblood. “Look, I admit you play a good game of pretend, a commendable trait to have. But I still believe Luna more than likely ordered you to apologize to all of us, but in the end, I really don’t care so long as you set things right with them.”

“You seek only their fulfillment and no self gratification?” Blueblood asked, finding the idea perplexing. “Why is that?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Keon returned, looking skeptical. “You can’t fathom the idea of doing for others? Damn, you’re one spoiled brat, no offense.”

Blueblood didn’t appear to have taken any so Keon proceeded.

“I don’t need an apology because you never managed to hurt my feelings: I’ve got tougher skin than that…”

“Is that so?” Blueblood challenged. “Your skin seems rather fragile; In fact, I can easily see your veins through it, it’s actually rather unsettling.”

“I was speaking metaphorical, you smart-ass,” Keon shot back. “But like I was trying to say...”

“Ahem,” Rarity interrupted the two. “I don’t recall this being a one mare show, I could use some help,” she said as she pointed to the bowl of batter she’d been preparing. “Keon, if you would be so kind as to finish whisking this batch and pour it into the cupcake pans, that would be most appreciated.”

“Why not Blueblood?” Keon asked as he picked up a whisk off the counter and got to work.

“You saw the state of this kitchen upon our arrival. I’m afraid I can’t trust him with even the most minimal amount of food preparation,” Rarity answered. “But I will trust him with this,” she said as she used her magic to procure a broom and floated it over to Blueblood. “Chop-chop, there’s cleaning to do.”

Blueblood frowned, not liking the fact of being ordered around. “I am the one that needs to prepare the confec…”

“Absolutely not!” Rarity quickly cut him off. “I doubt you could pour yourself a glass of water, let alone bake something edible. Now, please make yourself useful with that broom, and do not worry, we’ll allow you to have the credit for the cupcakes.”

Blueblood’s eyes narrowed slightly, searching for any trickery in Rarity’s claim. He simply didn’t want to deal with Shining Armor if he somehow managed to screw this up. “You will, but why?” he pried.

“So long as Pinkie is returned to her former self nothing else matters, not your ego or my own stubbornness and pride,” Rarity reasoned. “Now, enough wasting time, there’s still plenty to be done.”

Neither Rarity nor Blueblood ever noticed the lone human adding his own special ingredient to the cupcake batter.

Canterlot Northern Garden

“Yes, that’s a good one, Rainbow Dash, bring it down here!” Twilight called up to Dash.

“Aye, Captain!” Dash saluted before she grabbed hold of a small cloud and began to push it towards the awaiting ground.

“Cloud walking, is she serious about this?” Chris asked the unicorn sitting next to him in the garden.

“Yep, she’s as serious as a case of the cutie pox,” Lyra said while nodding enthusiastically. “You’re really lucky, you know? I’ve lived here my whole life and never had the chance to do it, the magic involved is way too difficult for me to pull off and potions are way overpriced for a broke luthier.” Lyra then leaned over towards Chris and whispered, “Between you and me, I think pegasi up the prices on those potions to keep groundings like us out of their sacred cloud cities.”

Chris lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you guys were the definition of a cohesive unit, harmony and friendship seems to be all the rage here.”

Lyra looked over her shoulder towards the far side of the garden where she could see Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Bon Bon playing with the litter of newly born lynx. “For the most part we are, but there’s always those with differing opinions in spite of the millennium Princess Celestia has spent pounding equality into all of us. There will always be supremacist, but what about your world?” Lyra continued, “Are humans one big happy family?”

Chris laced his hands behind his head and leaned back in the grass. “I think there’s just too many of us to ever be one big happy family,” he answered. “Besides we evolved from predators, our mentality is fundamentally different from yours from that base alone. We’re still a ways off from holding hands and singing happy songs with one another as one united and happy family.”

A Twilight shaped shadow suddenly blocked out the sun in Chris’s view, the unicorn in question now looming above him. “It’s time,” Twilight started as she set on her haunches in front of Chris and Lyra. “We’ve gotten the cloud,” she said as she held a vial in front of Chris. “If all goes well you should be able to stand on it,” she finished with a gesture towards the cloud.

Chris pulled himself to an upright position and observed the cloud. “What in God's name…” he muttered as he stood up and walked closer to the cloud, observing it from every angle. It was thick, he noted, far too thick than anything made of water vapor had any right to be. Its appearance was that of a giant cotton ball, or perhaps a tuft of white cotton candy, nothing about it gave away that it was intangible to non-pegasi. “You sure you need magic to stand on it?” he asked, his skepticism evident.

“Last I checked,” Twilight answered with mirth.

“If you want to be all skeptical then test it for yourself,” Dash reasoned as she hopped on top of the cloud. “Well, go for it.”

Accepting her offer, Chris reached a hand towards the cloud, and almost instantly upon making contact with it Dash fell through it. The cloud quickly lost its white fullness before it broke apart, turning into thin vapor that slowly dissipated.

“What was that?” Dash grumbled while rubbing the side of her face that had kissed the ground after she had fallen through the cloud.

“I figured something like this would happen,” Twilight stated. “Chris’s body disrupted the natural magic holding that cloud together, without magic as the glue the cloud simply became water vapor and aerosols.”

“Wow, humans can do stuff like that?” Lyra asked with a large grin.

“I wanna know why they can do stuff like that.” Dash said as she stood back up to all fours. “I mean, what you did just now was really freaky.”

“Sorry, I’m not the magic scientist here, just the lab rat,” Chris quipped. “I’ve got no answers to give.”

“I still have much I need to study,” Twilight answered, “But I believe the answer lies within their skin since that’s where the magic defenses lay, it’s similar to the resistance a dragon's hide has to magic, but with the ability to not only repel but also to disrupt it. That’s why I’m testing potions and fumes, it allows me to simply bypass that defense and achieve the desired effect.”

Lyra looked perturbed. “So, you’re saying materialized magic doesn’t work at all on humans?”

“It does,” Twilight explained, “However, only if it’s able to combat and overpower that natural defense of theirs.”

“I know I’m the one who asked but this is way too much egghead talk for me,” Dash said as she lifted herself into the air. “I’ll go get another cloud for your experiment.”

Twilight turned to Chris with an apologetic expression. “I realize this isn’t how you wanted to spend the day,” she said taking note that Chris was staring off towards the others, who looked as if they were having a great deal of fun playing with the lynx. “It’s just, time is of the essence…”

“It's fine, Twilight,” Chris assured her. “This is bigger than me and my personal interest. I know the role I’ve been given.”

“Being her lab experiment is your role?” Lyra pried. “That’s horse apples: You should be out doing what you wanna do. And right now you want to be over there, don’t you?”

“You don’t understand, Lyra,” Twilight refuted. “There are things happening that you are just unaware of.”

“Like what?” she challenged.

“Uh… like nothing,” Twilight responded sheepishly. “Forget I ever said anything.”

“It’s a little too late for that,” Lyra said as she produced a pendulum chain. “Tell me what’s going on, or I’ll have to make you reveal your secrets.”

“So, now you’re a hypnotist?” Twilight questioned with a smug grin. “Where’d you get that thing from anyway?”

“A cereal box,” Lyra answered casually as she held the pendulum up to Twilight’s face. “Now, watch the chain as I swing it back and forth.”

“No,” Twilight barked. “Even if I believed you were capable of hypnotizing me, why would I willingly allow myself to be hypnotized for your benefit?”

“Good point,” Lyra reasoned while putting the chain away. “Fine, I’ll just have to pull out all the stops,” she said as her ears fell and her eyes watered before she threw herself to Twilight’s hooves. “Pretty, pretty please, tell me,” she pleaded. “With like sugar and cherries and stuff on top.”

Twilight rolled her eyes at the embarrassing display Lyra was putting on. “I can’t do that Lyra: It’s not my place…”

“Its fine,” Chris stepped in. “She can know.”

“But Princess Celestia…” Twilight tried, but Chris cut her off.

“I know what Celestia said,” Chris said. “We’ll just have Lyra and Bon Bon join us for the sit down we’re having. The two of them did come all this way after all, albeit in an unorthodox manner, but I’d feel guilty about keeping them in the dark about this, considering Lyra’s apparent interest in humans. When the time comes, I’m sure Celestia will let us know if she objects to it.”

Lyra stuck out her tongue at Twilight. “At least someone here thinks I’m trustworthy.”

Twilight made to retort but didn’t get the chance as Dash chose that moment to drop another cloud right between her and Lyra.

“Here, I’ve got you another cloud,” Dash said as she narrowed her eyes at Chris. “And you, Hands, try not to break this one, okay?”

Chris crossed his arms. “That’s funny, weren’t you the one that suggested I touch it?”

“So maybe I was,” Dash acknowledged while getting up in Chris’s face. “Not like I knew you had weird magic dispelling powers or whatever. Which reminds me, is it even safe to be around you?” Dash asked before turning to Twilight. “I mean, he’s not going to screw up my ability to fly, right?”

“Not possible,” Twilight responded with an amused expression. “You’ve been around Chris for quite some time and I with Keon and there’s been no sign of that.”

“How do you know there’s been no sign of it?” Dash fired back. “I mean, how do you explain what happened to that cloud?”

“I know there’s been no sign of it because both of us are still in one piece after having touched them,” Twilight explained to a now very vexed looking Dash. “The cells that make up our bodies are partially formed of magic, if that were to unravel our existence would go with it. Magic as you know comes in three basic forms:, innate magic and natural magic, both having their own subcategories with the third, manifestation magic being the manipulation of both innate and natural magic to produce spells and what not. It’s safe to assume that Chris and Keon can’t disrupt the flow of innate magic, but only natural magic,” Twilight pointed to a cloud to further emphasize her claim. “By extent, manifestation magic is susceptible as well, for unlike innate magic, natural and manifestation magic has no defense against foreign contaminants, there’s simply no need for it. Unlike living and breathing beings, whose actuality relies on innate magic.”

“So, he’s safe?” Dash asked.

“Yes,” Twilight assured her.

“Then why didn’t you just say so? I didn’t understand a word of that nerd language you were speaking.”

“It wasn’t nerd language, and I was trying to be thorough,” Twilight protested, as she turned her attention back to Chris. “Let’s just get on with this already.”

“Just a second,” Chris responded. “Seems we’ve got a guest,” he said while pointing towards the far end of the garden where he could make out a white pony stallion strutting up towards Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Bon Bon, with a large tray magically tailing behind him.

Dash frowned, her sharp eyes easily being able to identify the pony. “What in the hay is Blueblood doing here?”

“Round two maybe?” Lyra added unsurely. “Or maybe to apologize.”

“Blueblood apologize? Yeah, that will be the day,” Dash said while cracking a few bones in her wings. “I’m gonna go and give that punk a piece of my mind.”

“Hold off on that thought, Dash,” Twilight ordered. “I know waiting isn’t your style, but let’s just see what he does before we act.”

“After Pinkie finally came out of that room, you want to chance another meeting with those two?” Dash asked, sounding baffled. “And I thought you were the smart one.”

Twilight chose to ignore the quip and kept her attention on the proceedings.

“Hold on there, pardner,” Applejack said as she stepped in front of Blueblood's path. “Ah think that as far as yah need to go. Not like yah haven’t caused enough grief 'round here.”

“It would be really nice if we could avoid any more trouble,” Fluttershy tentatively added from behind Applejack, almost too quietly for Blueblood to hear. “Um… If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

Blueblood studied Applejack and Fluttershy for a moment but refrained from saying anything.

“So, what do you want?” Bon Bon broke in, not looking pleased as she took a position at Applejack’s side. “I don’t think anypony here cares much for your company.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Blueblood acknowledged, not losing his poise. “I’m here to extend an apology to Miss Pinkie Pie. Now, if you would be so kind as to allow me through.”

Both Applejack and Bon Bon stared at one another, the pair of them utterly surprised by Blueblood's request.

Meanwhile, Pinkie set down a small lynx cub she’d been playing with and watched it wistfully as it scurried back to its mother’s side. “It must be nice,” she muttered before finding herself being cast in shadow.

Looking over her shoulder, she was surprised to find Blueblood standing there with Applejack and Bon Bon flanking him on both sides with Fluttershy standing off to the side.

For a brief moment, Pinkie’s eyes flashed in a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness before they resumed their usual happy luster. “Hi there Bluey, can I call you Bluey?”

Blueblood had to suppress a grimace at the nickname. “If you must,” he answered courtly, figuring he could stomach it for the time being. After all, he merely needed to apologize and from then on would never have to see the pink mare ever again. “I’ve come to apologize, Miss Pinkie Pie,” Blueblood began.

“There’s no need for that,” Pinkie responded jovially. “I was the one that spilled the wine on your coat after all, so that puts me in the wrong.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Bon Bon protested. “It was an accident. Besides, that stain was nothing a little club soda and salt wouldn’t have removed, he completely and unreasonably blew his stack.”

“I’m here to acknowledge my wrong doings, not refute them,” Blueblood stated as he chanced a glance towards a castle window were he knew Rarity and Keon were watching from. “I’ve even brought you…”

Blueblood never got to finish as Pinkie shouted, “Cupcakes!” Having already seized the tray of cupcakes from the magic he was carting them in.

“Um… yes, cupcakes,” Blueblood responded with bit of uncertainty. “I prepared them just for you, my way of saying, 'I’m sorry',”

“We sure this feller here is really Blueblood and not ah changeling?” Applejack whispered to Fluttershy. “Ah mean, bakin' for Pinkie, something jus' ain’t right here.”

“Everypony has the ingredient for kindness in their heart,” Fluttershy replied, not sounding entirely sure of herself. “Prince Blueblood may have just discovered that.”

“You tryin' to convince me or yerself of that?” Applejack quipped.

Meanwhile, Pinkie held up one of the cupcakes in her hoof and studied the chocolate pink frosted treat with one large blue eye. Giving it a sniff she quirked a brow. “That’s funny, its smells like all the things that makes me happy.”

“It what now?” Applejack questioned.

“I said, these cupcakes smell like all the things that make me happy,” Pinkie said as she held the cupcake up to Applejack’s snout. “See, it smells like balloons, and Gummy, and my friends, and…”

“Sugarcube, it just smells like apples to me,” Applejack reasoned. “Well, apples, an' apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple…”

“Really?” Pinkie questioned, a slight look of confusion on her face, before she moved on to Bon Bon “What’s it smell like to you?”

Bon Bon gave it a quick whiff, “Peppermint schnapps?” she answered brusquely.

Applejack and Fluttershy stared at Bon Bon with raised brows.

“Peppermint schnapps?” Applejack repeated.

“Did I say peppermint schnapps?” Bon Bon scrambled. “I meant peppermint snaps, the candy, definitely not the alcohol.”

Blueblood looked on curiously as Pinkie moved on to test Fluttershy’s results; he recalled the cupcakes had smelled strangely of the rare blue rose he was quite fond of. He had thought to question Rarity about the smell but inevitably decided it would be a waste of time considering he wouldn’t be the pony eating them anyway.

After having gotten confirmation of a different smell from Fluttershy as well, Pinkie simply shrugged it off and popped the entire pastry into her mouth. She stood still as she chewed the cupcake, savoring its flavor. After swallowing it, her eyes widened while her pupils dilated to an unnerving degree. Finally, the hairs in her mane began to stick up one by one before her entire mane inflated like a car airbag that had been triggered.

“Woohoo!!!” Pinkie cheered, leaping high into the air. “That was the greatest cupcake ever!”

“Well, Ah'll be, spank my flank and call me Sally,” Applejack said as she watched Pinkie happily bounce around. “Looks like Pinkie’s back to norm...” Applejack never got to finish that line for Pinkie had stuffed a cupcake into her open mouth.

“You’ve got to try one of these,” Pinkie said while taking the farm pony’s muzzle in her own hooves and enthusiastically began moving Applejack’s jaws up and down for her. “I just feel, so, so happy!” she stated with a face-splitting grin.

“I can see that,” Applejack grumbled, having managed to pry Pinkie off of her. “And ah admit that cupcake was pretty darn good…” Applejack managed before she paused and stared blankly at nothing in particular.

Bon Bon waved a hoof in front of Applejack’s blank expressionless face. “Uh, are you alri..” Bon Bon suddenly found her own mouth being assaulted with a cupcake, courtesy of Pinkie.

“One for you too,” Pinkie said before turning her sights on Fluttershy and advancing. “I have to share these with everypony!”

Blueblood slowly began to back away from the scene after Applejack and Bon Bon had suddenly burst into a hysterical fit of laughter for no apparent reason at all; the two were literally rolling on the ground, howling. He’d already surmised that the cupcakes had to be the cause and, as it were, it wouldn’t do him any favors to add drugging to his list of offenses in Luna’s eyes or, worse, Shining Armor's.

“Why is everythin' spinnin'?” Applejack choked out through her laughter. “And why’s everythin' so gosh darn funny?”

“Well, Miss Pinkie Pie, I’ve sought you out to apologize and I have done so,” Blueblood said as he continued to back away nervously until his rear bumped against something sturdy. Looking up, he was surprised to find Celestia standing there, staring down at him with a calculating expression.

“A-Auntie Celestia,” he all but squealed in horror.

“Oh shit, I didn’t expect Pinkie to share those cupcakes with everyone else,” Keon spoke aloud as he and Rarity watched the scene unfold below from their vantage point in the castle.

“You say that as if you’ve made a grave mistake,” Rarity said as she turned her attention to Keon and stared at him accusingly. “There isn’t something you wish to tell me, is there?”

Keon scratched the back of his head nervously as he tilted back and forth on the heels of his feet. “Uh, nothing I can think of?”

“You know Darling, lying isn’t very becoming of you,” Rarity said as she stepped forward. “Now, make this easier on the both of us and come clean, or would you prefer a not so delicate method of extraction?” she said as her horn began to glow light blue.

“And what are you going to do with that?” Keon challenged with a large cocky grin on his face. “I’m magic proof, baby!”

“Perhaps to an unskilled unicorn,” Rarity argued. “Now what will it be?”

“Fine, you win” Keon said while holding his hands up in a defenseless manner. “So, I may have, sorta of, kinda of, slipped a bit of happy leaf into the cupcake batter.”

“You whaaaatttt!?” Rarity shrieked dramatically. “How could you have even gotten your hands on...?” Rarity paused as something dawned on her. “Vinyl,” she hissed. “Of course, I should have known that mare was up to no good, how could I have allowed the worst possible thing to happen?”

“What’s the big deal?” Keon asked with a childlike innocence. “You see Pinkie: she’s back to normal, which means Vinyl did us a service. Besides, they’ll laugh it out of their systems soon enough, I mean, it’s not like we had anything special planned today.”

“Excellent!” Luna greeted as she materialized behind Keon and Rarity, nearly scaring both of them out of their skins. “I’ve found you, two of you at the very least.”

“P-Princess L-Luna” Rarity stuttered as she stumbled backwards. “What can we do for you?”

Luna looked over her snout at Rarity. “Do neither of you realize the time?” Luna asked.

“Pardon my asking, but is there a reason we should? I wasn’t aware of any prior engagements we had,” Rarity stated nervously, sparing a glance over her shoulder out the window.

“I would have thought Twilight Sparkle would have informed you,” Luna said. “Nevertheless, the elements of harmony must all be in attendance for the most paramount of meetings.”

‘Fuck, I was wrong again,’ Keon thought as Luna turned her attention to him.

“As well as you and Mr. Chris,” Luna added, taking notice that Keon was looking at her in an odd combination of amusement and anxiousness.

Author's Note

Wow this story now has over 1900 favorites, I can't believe this little story has grown as much as it has. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I'll see you with the next one, ladies and gents.

Chapter 17: The Plan is Set

Chapter 17: The Plan is Set

The Plan is Set

“Princess Celestia!” Pinkie shouted after having spotted Celestia standing in the garden next to Blueblood. “You’ve got to try these cupcakes Bluey made, they’re scrumdiddlyumptious!”

‘Oh no,’ Blueblood thought frantically, his eyes darting from Celestia and back to the pink mare happily bouncing up to their position. Somehow she was managing to expertly balance the tray of cupcakes on her snout, like a circus seal with a beach ball.

Celestia studied the scene before her, eyeballing Applejack, Bon Bon, and a now equally hysterical Fluttershy, all rolling in the grass, laughing in complete, spleen-crippling mirth. Never losing her ever present smile, she addressed Pinkie. “I’d love to try one; I’ve never had the pleasure of sampling my nephews cooking. I can only hope I will experience the same joy they seem to have brought you girls.”

‘That’s not going to happen if I have anything to say about it,’ Blueblood thought nervously as Pinkie joyfully approached, all too eager to share the experience enhanced pastry treats. Acting fast, Blueblood used a small amount of magic to bump the tray off of Pinkie’s snout, sending the cupcakes towards their grassy demise.

Pinkie sprang forward, performing a baseball slide maneuver to catch the cupcakes but only managed to save one from hitting the ground.

“How unfortunate,” Celestia commented on Pinkie’s mishap.

“It’s not all bad, I saved one after all,” Pinkie exclaimed while holding out the cupcake towards Celestia, giggling like an idiot as she did so. “Here, Princess, it’s yours,” she managed to get out between bouts of laughter.

Blueblood shuffled around on his hooves anxiously, thinking frantically on how to stop what was about to happen.

Celestia smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, Pinkie, but I must refuse your offer, far be it from me to take your last one.”

Blueblood let out a sigh of relief, exceedingly grateful for Celestia’s incessant humility.

“What!?” Pinkie nearly gasped in protest. “But I insist!” she said as she made to stuff the cupcake into Celestia’s mouth.

In a panicked state, Blueblood saw the confectionery moving in slow motion. Figuring he only had one viable option, he lunged forward, intercepting the cupcake with his own open mouth.

Celestia quirked her eyebrow in a knowing manner from what she had just witnessed, watching Blueblood chew tentatively on the cupcake he’d deprived her of.

“Sorry, Auntie Celestia,” Blueblood offered as he swallowed the remainder of the baked good. “I simply couldn’t control myself.”

“Wow, Bluey, I didn’t know you liked cupcakes that much,” Pinkie said as she shook Blueblood's spit free of her hoof. “Maybe we can make more, since not everypony got to try them because, well…” Pinkie looked down at the cupcakes that had fallen on the ground before hitting the top of her head with her hoof. “Well, because I’m a klutz. I mean, my tail twitched and everything, and I still couldn’t save them,” she managed before she burst into laughter yet again.

Celestia watched Pinkie spasm at her hooves for a brief moment before she turned to face Blueblood. “Yes, I believe baking more sounds like a splendid idea,” she said, leveling an unnerving stare at Blueblood while walking a tad closer to him. “I’m quite eager to see your cupcake making… process first hoof.”

Blueblood began to inch back away from Celestia as he fanned himself with a hoof. Sweat was beginning to accumulate above his brow, while he desperately fought to suppress the feeling of unadulterated bliss threatening to consume him. “I... I...” Blueblood stuttered, his face creasing into a smile large enough to make the Joker jealous. “I...” He couldn’t take it anymore and he fell to the ground, pounding on it as he laughed.

Celestia sighed, knowing that her suspicions about the cupcakes were correct. “Happy leaf,” she muttered loud enough for Blueblood to hear her, although his continued laughing didn’t indicate whether he cared or not to listen. “It seems the youth these days still indulge in its use,” Celestia continued. “Harmless as it may be, I think you and I will have a long talk about forcing it on others,” Celestia finished with a shake of her head at Blueblood.

Chris, Lyra, Twilight, and Dash watched the group from a distance, noting all of them seemed to be crippled due to laughter.

“Looks like we missed one hay of a good joke,” Lyra commented offhandedly. “Especially if they got Bon Bon of all ponies to laugh. I mean, she’s always so uptight.”

“Should we be, well, yah know, worried?” Dash asked before she flapped her wings, settling into a hover well above the heads of the other ponies. She squinted her eyes and frowned, looking at the group of ponies that were kicking their legs in the air and rolling around on the ground. “I mean, they’re having an awful good time with a pony no pony else likes. Doesn’t that seem a bit off?”

Twilight observed her four friends carefully before finally shaking her head in response. “No, I don’t believe we need to be concerned, Princess Celestia is with them after all. No way Blueblood would cause trouble with her a mere hoof length away from him.”

“Speaking of Celestia, what do you think brings her out here?” Chris asked casually. “You don’t think we’re late for that sit down do you, or is she just admiring the weather?”

Twilight thought about it for a moment before she looked up at the sun and studied its position, and her eyes widened. “Oh no, it’s nearly noon, we’ve only got a few minutes left to finish up here if we’re to stay on schedule,” Twilight stated as she anxiously danced back and forth on her hooves. “Quick, we still have to get this done,” she ordered as she tossed the vial toward Chris who reflexively caught it.

Chris stared at the vial as he said, “We could always pick this up later you know, it’s not like I’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Don’t even bother,” Dash advised him. “Twilight can get pretty nutty when it comes to keeping a schedule.”

“Hey, I resent that,” Twilight shot back.

“That so?” Dash challenged. “If that’s the case, then let’s pack it up here and finish this later,” she said with a knowing grin.

Twilight bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes darted back and forth, a bit of sweat beginning to slide down the side of her face. “No, we absolutely must do this now: I don’t think I can handle waiting for the results.”

“I knew you didn’t have it in you to let yourself fall off schedule,” Dash chided her purple compatriot. “You’re as easy to read as all of those ‘Mares Guide To’ books you obsess over.”

Twilight frowned but said nothing more on the subject, which would only have served to slow things further if she had. Turning to face Chris, she said, “If you wouldn’t mind.”

Chris shrugged. “If it’s really that urgent.” He relented as he uncorked the vial of lime green liquid.

“Uh, cheers, I guess,” he said while holding up the vial as though he were preparing a toast before he downed it in one go.

Twilight looked antsy while Lyra and Dash stared with blank expressions, waiting for something to happen.

Chris smacked his lips as he held out his arms and observed his body, from chest to toe. “Well, I can’t say I feel any different, maybe it’s a bust.”

“There’s really only one way to find out,” Twilight said as she pointed a hoof towards the cloud Dash had brought down for him.

Chris nodded as he walked towards the cloud and, in the same fashion as he had tried before, he reached out to touch it. Only this time the fluffy, cottony cloud remained intact. Chris pushed down on the cloud with more force, causing it to mold around his fingers like memory foam.

“No way,” Chris whispered while slowly crawling onto the cloud before he took a few experimental steps on it. “This is too damn cool.”

“Tell me about it,” Dash said as she hovered around Chris. “Just one of the many perks of being a pegasus.”

Chris chanced a few tentative jumps before he asked, “How durable are these clouds?”

Dash placed a hoof under her chin while she thought about it. “Well, you’d have to fly into one of these bad boys at full throttle to break it apart or give it one hay of a buck,” she explained as she stared at Chris. “You humans look like you weigh about half as much as a pony. Chances of you breaking one are slim to not gonna happen… well, unless your magic crushing powers turn back on,” Dash stated before she turned to Twilight. “Hey, brainiac, speaking of magic crushing abilities, where did Chris’s go?”

Twilight reluctantly looked up from the notes she had been engrossed in a moment before to stare at Chris and Dash. The former of the two was currently bouncing on the cloud like a makeshift trampoline. Writing one last tidbit onto a piece of parchment, she cleared her throat. “Lyra, how’s your telekinesis?” she asked.

Lyra looked slightly taken aback before she answered. “Uh… mediocre at best.”

Twilight nodded. “Perfect. I’d like you to try and lift Chris with it.”

“What,” Lyra mumbled. “Shouldn’t you do it? I mean, you’re a lot more powerful than me. I doubt I could overwhelm his natural defenses, or whatever you call his immunity.”

Twilight looked a tad sheepish at the praise but pressed on. “The difference in our power is why you will better serve to demonstrate what I’m about to explain.”

Lyra nodded. “Well, if you say so.”

Chris was in the middle of performing a back flip on the cloud when he suddenly found himself suspended in midair, his body shrouded in a light green aura. “What’s going on?” he asked while futilely trying to right himself, the action itself looking like a pathetic attempt at swimming.

Twilight walked up to Chris, who appeared to him to be upside down.

Chris folded his arms in irritation just as Lyra used her magic to flip him into a proper position. “Mind explaining?” he asked flatly.

“As of right now, you’re completely susceptible to all forms of magic,” Twilight stated bluntly. Dash cocked a brow while Chris looked as though someone had poured cold water down his back. “I’m afraid that seems to be the trade off for flooding your body with so much magic, in this case a cloud walking potion...”

“Hold on just a sec,” Dash cut in. “Before you start throwing big words around, remember not all of us here have super brains.”

“Fine, I’ll explain so even a foal would understand,” Twilight said with a huff, slightly aggravated. “Think of how water and oil affects each other. They can’t stay mixed with one another without an emulsifier. After they settle, the oil will float atop the water. In this case magic is water and Chris’s resistance is oil. Because the two can’t mix or occupy the same space, the water forced the oil out. With his… oil per se being forcibly pushed out he’s left without that defense until the water, AKA magic, runs its course. Do you follow me?”

Chris placed his hand under his chin as he processed what Twilight was explaining while Dash nodded her head.

“I think I get it,” Lyra said as she released her hold on Chris and let him drop back down to the cloud. “But something I don’t get is how a little potion was able to render his… oil? Inert in the first place.”

“That can be explained by the one major flaw in his ability to disrupt magic,” Twilight explained. “It’s simply too front heavy, only protecting from the outside. It’s like a captain ordered their entire fighting force to protect the castles front gates but leaving none in reserve to defend the backdoor. If attacked from behind, your defenses will be crushed.”

Chris finally spoke up. “Can’t be helped, you have to give a little something to get a little something.”

“At least until we can find an equivalent of an emulsifier for our metaphorical water and oil,” Twilight stated. “It will take extensive research, but given enough time I’m sure I or one of the many Canterlot magic specialists could find something that would allow for stabilization to occur, permitting them to coincide with one another.”

“Long story short,” Dash said as she hooked her forelegs under Chris’s arms and flared her wings, “the potion works, now let’s give it a real test.”

“Hey, what are you about to…”

Chris hadn’t finished his question before Dash took off from the ground like a spring loaded cannon.

“Shiiiiiiiit!” Chris screeched as he and Dash ascended higher and higher. Looking down, he realized that Twilight and Lyra had become indistinguishable blurs of purple and green, so high had they risen. “Take me back down! Seriously, take me back down!” he pleaded.

Dash looked down in confusion at her frantic passenger, noting that his eyes were shut tight. “What’s the deal, you big baby, don’t you like flying?”

“Hell no, not like this!” Chris answered. “Now, take me back down before I lose it up here.”

Dash nodded her understanding as she slowed her pace and began to drift back towards the ground. “I’m sorry. When you told us about the big flying machines you guys made I just thought that humans really liked to fly.”

“Not all of us,” Chris responded tiredly. “Besides, there’s a huge difference between sitting inside an airtight, giant, metal container, with tiny windows we can choose not to look out of, as opposed to this.”

Meanwhile, Keon laughed as he looked at the spectacle, having seen all of it through the castle window, Rarity and Luna observing alongside him. “Oh man, I wish I could see his face right now. I bet he just about pissed himself.”

“Does Mr. Chris not enjoy the feeling of flight?” Luna asked.

“Not even a little bit,” Keon answered, still laughing. “That guy is absolutely terrified of heights. I mean, Chris is that dude you don’t want to get saddled with as a riding partner at an amusement park. You’ll be stuck riding kiddie rides all day or riding alone.”

“Should you really take such amusement in Chris’s misfortune?” Rarity inquired.

“Now, what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t laugh at a big guy like him having such a wimpy fear,” Keon jested. “Sure, maybe if he had some traumatic experience involving some high up place I’d give him my sympathy. As is, it’s like ironic or something.”

Luna placed a silver-shod hoof under her chin in thought. “Truthfully, I do not see the irony in said circumstance.”

“What? How not?”

“Fear of heights for a flightless mammal sounds entirely rational to me,” Luna explained. “A fall can pose a significant degree of danger. In the case of something that can’t fly, an innate fear of it would be helpful for survival, would it not?”

Keon and Rarity both stared at Luna in stunned silence for a moment before Keon shook his head. “You know, I thought I was the zoologist here.”

“My apologies,” Luna responded. “Since your arrival, I’ve obsessed over understanding the mindsets of… non-ponies. However, at this moment that’s neither here nor there for we should be heading to the assembly hall for our scheduled round table. I’m certain Tia’s presence outside is to gather the others.”

“Princess,” Rarity ventured carefully. “I know you said this meeting was paramount, but I’m drawing a blank at the possible subject matter. Would you care to apprise me of the details?”

“You will be enlightened soon enough,” Luna answered as she turned on her hooves. “Now, please follow me.”

Rarity chose not to pursue the matter any further and obeyed Luna’s command while Keon gave one final glance out the window just as Dash and Chris landed safely back on the ground before he made to follow Luna and Rarity.

In the courtyard below, Twilight and Lyra galloped up to Chris and Dash just as they landed. The former of the two was breathing hard as he fell to his knees and hands. A great deal of sweat had accumulated over his beginning-to-tan skin while his messy blond hair was sticking to his reddened face.

“What in the hay happened!?” Twilight asked frantically, but with care and worry clear in her voice. “Why is he so… shaken up?”

“He’s afraid of heights,” Dash said in a slight anxious tone before she stepped back from Chris to let him breath.

Lyra rounded on Dash, clearly angry with her. “Why did you take him up there in the first place without even asking if he’d be okay with it?” Lyra said as she paced back and forth, not entirely sure whether to try and comfort the human or give him his space.

Dash didn’t particularly like the tone Lyra was using with her, but in light of the circumstances she swallowed her pride. “I just wanted to let him get the real experience of walking on clouds, yah know, up in the sky. Had I known he’d freak I wouldn’t have done it. Besides, why are you so angry with me? You’re huffing and puffing like you’re courting him or something.”

Lyra’s mouth worked wordlessly for a moment while she searched for a rebuttal. Not being able to find one, she settled for immaturely blowing a raspberry which was enough to get a reaction from Dash.

“Why I oughta-”

“That’s enough out of you two!” Twilight exclaimed. “Your bickering won’t help anypony here,” she said as she knelt down onto her forelegs and stared at Chris worriedly. “Will you be okay, Chris? Is there anything we can do?”

“How about a glass of water?” Lyra threw in.

Chris rolled over to his rear and waved their offers away. “It's fine, I’ll be okay, just need to wait for the old ticker to stop ticking so damn fast.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, how come you reacted in this way?” Twilight asked carefully, hoping she wasn’t about to encroach too far into his privacy.

Chris chuckled as he shakily made to stand up. “Don’t worry, I didn’t have some traumatizing experience involving heights, I just frankly don’t like them. I’m a bit of a bitch when it comes to them.”

“Oh,” Twilight responded, almost disappointed that there wasn’t an interesting tale behind his phobia.

“Anyway,” Chris said while wiping away some sweat from his brow with his forearm, “I think I’ve had enough exhilarating experiences for one day. By the way, thanks for that Rainbow, nothing like a near death experience to get the blood pumping.”

“A near death experience?” Dash said with a roll of her eyes. “I didn’t even come close to dropping you, and I said I was sorry already.”

Lyra sighed in relief upon seeing the color of Chris’s face returning to normal. “Thank Celestia, you really were looking like you were about to die on us for a second there.”

“I can’t help but believe that it wouldn't be a waste had he,” Celestia commented with a small smile as she approached the quartet.

“Princess,” Twilight gasped in surprise at Celestia’s statement.

“Forgive me, was that too caustic, Mr. Chris?” Celestia asked. “I’m still having trouble understanding this sarcastic delivery of humor you humans like to exercise. Was it too much?”

“No, I think you found a good medium,” Chris said, “but I’d advice against using any type of sass if you ever find yourself talking to a human that’s not named Chris or Keon.”

“Well noted,” Celestia returned, looking at Chris with concern. “Are you absolutely certain you are well? We can postpone our roundtable if you would prefer to rest after such an ordeal,” Celestia said, giving a stern stare to Rainbow Dash. Dash grinned nervously as she slinked behind Lyra in an attempt to avoid Celestia’s gaze.

“No, I’m fine. It wasn’t much of an ordeal, just me being a bit overdramatic,” Chris reasoned.

Celestia nodded. “If you are certain. Then, shall we proceed to the assembly hall?”

“Yeah,” Chris responded, “but before that,” Chris said as he looked at Lyra, who had a hopeful expression on her face. “Lyra and Bon Bon, I know they aren’t a part of the team you wanted to assemble, but if it’s all the same, I ask that they be allowed to sit in and hear what we have to say.”

Celestia hadn’t seemed to have thought about the request at all as she simply smiled and said, “Of course they are welcome.”

“Cool!” Lyra squealed as she beamed something fierce.

The group reentered the castle, heading down one of the many hallways. After arriving at their destination, Chris stared around the assembly hall, trailing behind Celestia as he entered, he had to admit, when Celestia said they would be having a round table she meant it. The table was in fact round with a large emblem of a sun and moon conjoined, reminiscent of a yin and yang symbol, that nearly spanned the table in its entirety. Stationed around the table were large gold and silver stools with plush navy and or white colored pillows atop them. They’d seat a pony kneeling on all fours comfortably but would look comically large for a human to sit in. A point Keon was proving as he sat in one of the stools Indian style with plenty of room to spare.

Casting a glance towards Rarity, Chris noticed she seemed a tad anxious while she observed their group as they entered the assembly hall and began taking seats around it. Her eyes were primarily focused on Applejack, Pinkie, Bon Bon, and Fluttershy.

Perhaps she was aware of something he wasn’t regarding them, Chris pondered. The fact that they’d been laughing uncontrollably almost the entire trip did not sit well with him. After having pulled Fluttershy aside, she had managed, through her bouts of laughter, to tell him that the chocolate cupcake she’d eaten had been making her feel overjoyed.

His first thought had been that Blueblood had drugged them and they were high enough to make Bob Marley roll in his grave. He wanted to investigate further, but if Celestia hadn’t commented on it, who was he to say that their behavior wasn’t normal after consuming chocolate? She didn’t seem to have any qualms with leaving Blueblood to laugh his breath away in the garden.

Chocolate could be mildly stimulating to humans due to the presence of anandamide after all, perhaps the same could be said for Equestrian ponies but to a much greater degree. Although, the existence of theobromine in chocolate would contradict such a theory. Harmless enough to humans, it could be poisonous to horses in large amounts.

Once again Chris mentally kicked himself for comparing his hosts to his own world’s ponies. Their physiology was clearly completely different from their four-legged counterparts on earth. The verity that they not only possessed a gag reflex and could freely breathe through their mouths was more than just anecdotal evidence of that. Furthermore, the way their irises could expand and contract along with their pupils as an expression of their emotions was a truly alien and bizarre feat to witness.

“Are you feeling well, Chris?” Luna asked as he took a free stool between her and Celestia. “Your mind seems troubled,” she added.

Chris flashed Luna a fake grin. “Just a bit nervous is all, there’s a lot that’s about to be put on the table.”

“I share your sentiment,” Luna said. “Tia and I have much on the line as…” Luna trailed off as her eyes focused on Applejack who had oddly enough decided that having a hoedown on top of the table was a good idea.

“Applejack, what in the hay’s gotten into you?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeehaw everypony!” she hollered, ignoring Dash. “Grab ah partner and let’s get this rodeo star… whoa!” Applejack grunted as Rarity used her magic to ensnare and pull her off of the top of the table and back into her seat.

Rarity laughed nervously towards Celestia and Luna. “Um… can we just pretend that never happened?”

Luna simply stared open mouthed while Celestia didn’t seem surprised at all at what she’d just witnessed.

“Well, I think that was the most random thing I’ve ever seen,” Chris commented before he felt a nuzzling at his fingers. Turning his head, he was faced with a grinning Fluttershy. “Yeah, what’s up, Fluttershy?” he asked, quirking his eyebrow in confusion.

“Um… would you mind… petting me?” she asked, clearly hopeful.

“Huh, what? Why?” Chris replied, obviously taken aback by the request.

“I don’t know, I just have the urge to be touched… In a platonic way, of course,” she added.

Lyra slammed one of her hooves on the table then pointed it at Fluttershy. “Hang on there, sister. If anypony here is gonna feel those fingers through their mane, it’s gonna be me!”

“Alright, what the hell is going on here?” Chris demanded.

Twilight ran one of her hooves through her mane and sighed irritably. “I wasn’t sure at first, but now I’m certain. These three…” Twilight stopped as she took a minute to consider Pinkie. “Four? Are clearly under the influence of something. My guess would be happy leaf.”

“And how would you come to that conclusion?” Rarity inquired, trying to sound nonchalant about it. “Not that I argue your claim.”

“Face it, we’re busted,” Keon mumbled to Rarity as he leaned back in his stool to appear inconspicuous, but he had forgotten that there wasn’t a backrest and he comically fell out of his stool.

After Keon clambered back up onto his stool, Twilight shook her head and pressed on. “I suppose after Keon informed me of a herb he’d used to reach a state of euphoria I became curious if Equestria had anything similar in use.” Twilight grinned bashfully. “Suffice to say we have many, happy leaf being among them. It primarily increases activity in the mesolimbic system, causing the brain to produce large amounts of dopamine and endorphins. It also heightens the tactile senses, which explains why Fluttershy wants you to pet her.”

“Wait, are you saying somepony actually drugged us?” Bon Bon asked with a large, shit eating grin on her face, struggling to no laugh but failing miserably.

“Of course it wasn’t the damn chocolate,” Chris muttered under his breath before turning his attention to Keon. “You know, you’ve been awful quiet during all this, it makes me feel like you’ve played a hand somewhere in here?” Chris said while pointing an accusing finger towards Keon.

“I guess it’s time to let the cat out of the bag then,” Keon said as he cleared his throat and stood up, everyone turning their attention towards him. “So, um… yeah, you know those cupcakes Blueblood made for Pinkie?”

“Of course, they were great!” Pinkie chirped. “I’ll never forget them as long as I…”

“I drugged them,” he deadpanned, silencing her immediately. “Yep, mixed in some happy leaf into the batter, so, um... sorry?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, figuring she’d have to give Keon that lecture she’d reserved for Blueblood.

Chris raked his hand through his messy blond hair as he stood up from his stool, the others watching him intently as he crossed the room with purposeful strides. “I apologize for what you’re about to see,” Chris muttered to Celestia in a flat tone as he passed her by as he made his way towards Keon.

Keon frowned as Chris grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and forced him out of his stool.

“You damn idiot!” Chris shouted as he cocked his fist back and slammed it into Keon’s jaw, sending him tumbling to the floor.

Celestia and Luna's eyes had widened in surprise, if only for a second, before they adopted neutral expressions while the other occupants gasped in shock. The previous atmosphere had seemingly been sucked out of the room like oxygen in a breached space shuttle.

“Wow, humans can ball up their fingers and use their hand as a weapon?” Lyra asked with scholarly interest, earning her a glare from Bon Bon. She shrunk in on herself. “Sorry, just making an observation.”

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and a now sobered up Applejack leapt from their stools, knocking them over, the three of them intent on keeping the situation from escalating further. Rarity and Fluttershy for their parts could only stare with mouths agape.

“Resume your seats,” Luna ordered the three of them firmly.

“But Princess,” Twilight protested, “we have to stop them, they may hurt one another.” Twilight turned to her mentor. “Princess Celestia, please.”

Celestia’s expression and tone were both calm as she answered. “You will not intervene. We will allow them to settle this in their own way.”

Twilight frowned at her mentors’ response, but it wasn’t hard for her to puzzle out why Celestia would allow such a thing. Seeing the two humans settle a conflict among one another firsthoof would provide invaluable insight into the human psyche, data they needed and could use. In hindsight, it was rather unethical from the perspective of a pony, but her scientific mind could understand the princesses’ inaction in the situation.

Keon lifted himself to a hunched over position on the floor, using the back of his hand to wipe away the small trail of blood coming from his swelling lip.

Chris stalked his way over towards his downed companion, ready to give him a verbal beating, but found his path impeded by Pinkie. He tilted his head, looking more than a little nonplussed at the living road block. Taking careful consideration of her posture and facial expression, he realized it wasn’t jolly in the slightest. In fact, it was absolutely livid. He’d never meticulously studied equines, considering herpetology was his area of interest and expertise, not that it would have done him any good in the case of Equestrian ponies to begin with. However, her aggressively swishing tail, flared nostrils and flattened ears couldn’t have been any more obvious to a complete novice in their meaning: ‘Back the fuck off.’

Both Celestia and Luna stared somewhat dumbfounded at the scene for a moment, neither one of them had even noticed Pinkie move from her seat.

“Not one more step, you meanie-pants,” Pinkie warned, her high pitched voice not exactly sounding threatening. “That’s your friend, why are you trying to hurt your friend? That’s not what friends do.”

“Chris,” Rarity added, “believe me, I know what Keon did was wrong and, simply put, stupid, but this is not the way to right a wrong.”

Keon stared at Pinkie from behind, noting her stance was reminiscent of a matriarch protecting a pack or herd member. He realized that if she had a reason to, she could really hurt Chris. Not due to any fighting skills he thought she possessed, but Chris’s strict policy of never striking a woman would come into play.

Chris was a fit guy to be sure and could take a hit, but Pinkie was clearly angry and probably weighed a good three hundred pounds, not an ideal situation to not fight back in. Whether she would was an entirely different question, one he highly doubted as most of the Equestrians seemed to have an overly pacifist nature. Nevertheless, it wasn’t worth the risk, considering her behavior seemed to be more instinctual rather than rational at the moment. “Just relax, Pinkie, he isn’t going to hurt me,” Keon said calmly in an attempt to call off his would-be savior.

“I think his busted up lip would disagree with that,” Dash whispered to Applejack.

Pinkie turned her head towards Keon, ready to protest. “But look at your…”

“What? My lip?” Keon asked with a chuckle, interrupting Pinkie. “Look at this guy, he clearly eats his eggs raw, Had he really decked me I’d be out like a light.” Pinkie didn’t look convinced and didn't remove herself from between the two of them. “Look, we do things differently than you ponies,” he continued. “Granted, punching each other is usually saved for once things really get heated, I think my callousness this time around has earned me as much as a little bloody lip,” he reasoned.

Pinkie looked as if she wanted to argue the matter further but suddenly found a blue aura creeping up her legs until her entire body was covered and she realized she couldn’t move. “Hey, what happened?” Pinkie asked while struggling against her constraints.

“You’re right, you deserve a real ass kicking, but that love tap will have to do,” Chris continued as he maneuvered around Pinkie, who had been rooted in place by Luna’s magic. Kneeling down, Chris used both hands to grab Keon by the shirt and hoisted him back up to his feet, before shoving him into the far wall. “What’s gotten into you, man?” Chris asked, keeping his voice low and even. “You’ve made some stupid decisions before, but this... What the fuck were you thinking?”

Keon turned his head away from Chris. “I wanted to help, that’s all.”

Chris sighed. “You’re trying to tell me that the best you could come up with was to get everyone high?” Keon looked contemplative at the question. “Never mind, don’t answer that,” Chris said, loosening his grip on Keon’s shirt. “We aren’t here on a joyride. Haven’t you even considered there’s potential consequences for our actions? Alien planet or not, we can’t play that as a get-out-of-jail free card every time you decide to make a stupid move.”

“I get it,” Keon stated flatly.

Chris raised a brow. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

Chris nodded as he let go of Keon’s shirt and leaned in to whisper to him. “I’m sorry about the theatrics, but we need Celestia and Luna to believe I’ve dished out fair punishment. I don’t want them to think they need to discipline you themselves for this.”

“I assure you, any actions I or my sister would have taken would have been infinitely less physical,” Celestia commented.

“Had Tia issued it, it would have been nothing more than a motherly scolding,” Luna added as she observed Keon’s swollen lip. “I imagine that would have been much more preferable to Mr. Keon.”

Both Chris and Keon stared at Celestia and Luna like kids that had just gotten caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“How did you…” Chris paused as he watched Celestia’s ears swivel in his direction.

Celestia smiled. “You’ll learn that an alicorn’s ears do more than just frame our faces. They’re actually quite useful for picking up low volume sounds, or in this case, eavesdropping.”

“So… are we screwed?” Keon asked.

“No, the fact of the matter is, I would like to apologize for allowing this physical confrontation to have taken place,” Celestia explained. “The part of me that craves to understand your kind outweighed my better judgment, and although I have been enlightened, it was at the expense of you, my guest, and for that I am truly sorry.”

Celestia then turned her head to stare at Keon. “Will you require that to be looked at? I can have a nurse here immediately.”

Keon laughed. “It’s a busted lip, I’ll live, but thanks for the offer.”

“I’d recommend at the very least for you to put some ice on it, that should help with the swelling,” Fluttershy added. “Only if you want to, I mean.”

Whether Keon wanted to or not didn’t matter as Pinkie, having been freed from Luna’s grasp, had already slapped an icepack to his face. Where she’d gotten the damn thing from he’d never know. She did manage to solid snake her way into a bath with him after all, why question this?

“Thanks Pinkie,” he said as he took the icepack in his own hand. “I thought you’d all be pissed with me.”

“Right or wrong, I really don’t know, what matters is your heart was in the right place,” Pinkie assured him. “Besides, it’s not like I haven’t done some crazy stuff to cheer somepony up before.”

“'Sides that, Chris already gave you the what for, ain’t much sense in stayin' sore at yah after that,” Applejack added.

Lyra nudged Bon Bon in the side. “Would you say something?”

“Oh… right. I forgive you and yada, yada, yada,” Bon Bon offered lamely.

Lyra frowned at Bon Bon, prompting her to shrug. “What? I don’t have anything heartfelt or witty to say about any of this. Those cupcakes weren’t meant for anypony but Pinkie, we just got kind of caught up in it. I mean, I tried to feel angry about it, but if I’m going to be honest here I have to admit it was a lot of fun up until the part where Chris delivered that haymaker.”

“Um, Chris,” Pinkie hesitantly said. “I’m so sorry for what happened earlier when I got in your way. I was just so angry after you hit Keon. It made me have thoughts I’ve never thought before.” Pinkie looked down in shame. “You’re my friend too, and I wanted to… I’m sorry.”

Chris stared at Keon, who seemed rather deep in thought himself after hearing Pinkie’s words. Giving Pinkie a half-smile, Chris made to speak but was interrupted by a loud bang as the assembly hall’s door suddenly burst open and a plump, grayish rabbit wearing a bath towel and dragging a large pocket watch came bounding into the room, all the while repeating that he was late.

“Could this place get any more Disney?” Keon remarked as the rabbit ran right between his legs.

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” the rabbit recited.

Chris stared in confusion. “Should we question that there’s a talking rabbit, or is that just fine around here?”

The rabbit turned on his large feet and stared at Chris and Keon. “Oh, if only you could see the look on your face.” The rabbit chuckled as he bounced up to eye level with Chris and Keon. “In fact, how about I show you?” he offered before he swiped his furry paw at Chris’s face.

The rabbit held in his paw what appeared to be a mask of Chris’s face and showed it to him.

Both Chris and Keon stared at the perfect mask of Chris’s likeliness before Chris reached his hands towards his own face. Touching and grabbing at it a few times, he realized he could no longer feel any facial features.

Turning to face each other, they did the only thing that made any logical sense at the time: They screamed.

“Dude, your face!” Keon shouted. “It’s gone!”

“What!? That’s impossible!” Chris shouted back.

“No man, I’m looking right at you,” Keon argued. “Your face is M.I.A.”

“Someone get me a mirror!” Chris shouted in a panic.

“What good will that do? You don’t have a face, so how in the hell are you going to see your reflection? Come to think about it, how are you even talking?”

Meanwhile, the rabbit held his sides as he laughed himself silly. “You two are hilarious.” He chortled. “No pony freaks out this much just from losing their face.”

A silver-clad hoof landed with force in front of the rabbit. “Discord!” Luna bellowed, practically glowing with rage. “I thought we warned you not to try any funny business.”

“Once again you prove to be a stick in the mud.” The newly identified Discord sighed as his paw transformed into an eagles claw and he snapped it, causing Chris’s face to return to its proper home in a flash of light.

Chris felt his face frantically before he glared at the rabbit. “That wasn’t cool at all; a lesser man would have died from the shock.”

“Actually, you seem much livelier than you were a minute ago,” Discord countered.

“They do say people are most alive right before they die,” Keon stated.

“Who’s they?” Lyra asked curiously.

“I don’t know… just they. You know, people, I guess.”

“What was the meaning of that?” Celestia asked, interrupting Discords fun.

“Let’s just say my fancy became tickled when I overheard Miss Studious Sparkle discussing this rather intriguing magic immunity of theirs,” Discord explained. “Between you and I, I’ve never been well read in magic, all the theory, conjecture and ideology behind it is way too boring for my taste,” Discord droned on. “Thankfully, harnessing my magic came as naturally as breathing, and so studying it was never something I was burdened to do,” he said as his body morphed into the familiar form of Accordion Whispers. “But inherently I would want to know how my own brand of magic fared against it,” he added with a large grin towards Chris. “I’m actually quite pleased with the results. I mean, where would the enjoyment be in mingling with humans if I couldn’t have a little fun with them?”

“They aren’t toys for your amusement,” Celestia warned. “You will be cordial with my guest.”

Dash chose that moment to throw an accusing hoof towards Accordion. “Wait a minute, so you were Discord all this time?” she asked. “I knew there was something fishy about you.”

“Wait, Discord? As in ‘the Discord’?” Bon Bon interjected. “The evil guy who was up until recently a bird bath in the castle garden?”

“The very same, my Dear,” Discord said with a smug grin. “Although, I resent being called a bird bath.”

“Well, I have a feeling things are about to get way too weird for me if he’s here of all… creatures?” Bon Bon said as she stood up from her stool. “Thank you for inviting me, but this is where I get off this train.”

“You’re just going to leave?” Lyra asked.

“You bet your bottom bit I am, trouble just follows those six around,” Bon Bon said. “Now it’s not just aliens, but they’ve got the avatar of chaos involved, I don’t want any part of the craziness that I know is about to be discussed here. I’ll be waiting outside the door. When you’re finished here we’re leaving for Ponyville,” she concluded as she walked towards the door. “Princesses,” she said with a bow before excusing herself.

“What was her name again?” Keon whispered to Chris.

“Bon Bon,” he answered.

“Is it just me or did she not seem to like Accordion... I mean, this Discord guy all that much?” Keon asked as he scrutinized the pony in question.

“I don’t blame her, I can’t say I like the guy either,” Chris confirmed. “Not after the shit he just pulled.”

“You know, if that wasn’t the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen it might have been funny,” Keon remarked.

“Discord, I think you should apologize,” Fluttershy spoke softly. “That was a very mean spirited joke you played.”

“I’m sorry,” Discord said with a grunt of annoyance. “How low will I stoop to keep my dearest friend?” he grumbled as his pony body began to stretch and contort.

Chris and Keon stared with wide eyes and open mouths as Discord’s form changed into something they couldn’t recognize. He appeared to be made of a dragon, goat, lion, eagle, bat, horse thing, a complete, unholy mishmash of creatures, his long slender form towered over them, at least twelve feet, measured from head to tail.

“Bon Bon dipping out suddenly makes a lot more sense,” Keon said. “This guy is definitely Satan’s spawn. I mean, someone clearly wasn’t doing their job when they let him escape from hell.”

Chris rubbed his chin for a moment. “I think he’s a chimera.”

“Right you are, dear boy, although most have taken to calling me a draconequus. Either way, master of chaos, and somewhat reformed, Discord at your service,” he said with a deep bow, though he still nearly came eye to eye with the speechless humans.

“Perhaps I should have kept the pony makeup on?” Discord said before he vanished and appeared in one of the empty cushioned stools an instant later. “So, Princess Celestia, is this meeting to commence or not? I could be doing some more productive things, such as taking a bath or tending to my garden.”

“I’m not sitting near that guy,” Keon said as he made to take back his seat next to Rarity, “There’s a free spot next to me with your name on it Pinkie,” he added, causing the pink mare to grin widely before bouncing after him.

Chris merely nodded his agreement before he went back to his previous spot between Celestia and Luna. “Why does this day seem like it’s been so long?” Chris asked as he sat down.

“I believe you’ve just had too much excitement in such a short span of time,” Celestia offered as a response. “The offer to postpone this meeting is still there…”

“No,” Chris said with a heavy sigh. “Let’s get this over with,” he said as he cleared his throat and stared around the table at all those present. He noted that Twilight had already procured a piece of parchment along with the necessary quill and ink; clearly she was ready for anything new she might learn. Meanwhile, Lyra and Pinkie were wearing Ronald McDonald smiles, Fluttershy and Applejack seemed rather blasé about the whole thing, while Rarity and Rainbow Dash appeared eager enough yet fed up with being kept in the dark.

“So, um, you’re probably wondering why we’re all here, right?” Chris started. Apart from a lone cough silence was the only answer he received. “In short, Keon and myself have decided that we’ll be leaving for the Valley of the Changing Seasons.”

A few gasp where heard, apart from Fluttershy who actually produced more of a shriek.

“I’ll be going along as well,” Twilight added. “Permission has already been granted, funds supplied, and preparations are currently being made, courtesy of both princesses.”

Dash puffed out her chest and put on her cockiest expression. “Well, if you’re going, of course I’m going. Not like I’m gonna let you guys have all the fun.”

“Hold on a sec there,” Applejack cut in. “Why is any of this bein' done in the first place?”

“Before that,” Celestia interrupted as she turned her attention to Lyra. “What you’re about to hear is extremely confidential, I must ask that you promise to keep all that you will learn expressly to yourself, is this something you can do?”

Lyra nodded immediately, “Of course princess, I won’t whisper any of this to another soul.”

Celestia nodded before looking at Chris, a signal for him to continue.

“The key to us getting home is there,” Chris answered. “I’m sure you remember the bird I told you about?”

Applejack nodded.

“They’re called EONs and we’re going there to track down and capture one,” Chris explained. “With any luck, we’ll not only find one but use it to return us home.”

“But you just got here,” Lyra commented while Pinkie’s ears flattened upon hearing the news.

Keon placed a hand on her shoulder. “Try to hold off on the waterworks, Pinkie,” he advised her. “At least until you hear the rest.”

“I’m not going to cry,” Pinkie claimed. “I’ve already promised I’ll help you get home no matter what, it’s just… Well… I don’t want to have to say goodbye so soon.”

Keon sighed but said nothing more on the matter.

“But that’s not all,” Chris continued. “The thing is that’s the lesser of the news we have to discuss,” Chris concluded before he turned to Celestia, “I think you should do the honors, it’s your world after all.”

Celestia nodded. “My little ponies, if Mr. Chris and Mr. Keon succeed in their endeavor, the world you know of could well become a very different place, my hopes and faith would be for the better but not even I know if that will truly be the case.”

“At the very least we can expect a little more chaos around here,” Discord added while lounging in a large hammock that was tethered to nothing, yet was fully functional. “Heaven knows Equis needs it, I’ve been bored out of my wits.”

“Pardon my asking, but what could be world changing about sending our new friends home?” Rarity asked with an expectant expression.

“I thought that would have been obvious,” Luna answered. “We wish to establish open relations with the world of the humans.”

“If a portal can be opened, with the aid of the EONs, a means to sustain it should be entirely possible,” Twilight explained. “It just comes down to finding a suitable power source and the means to harness it. Luckily, we have seven potential candidates that have just the amount of juice we need.”

“The raw magical energies of any one of the seven anomalies should theoretically be more than sufficient for the task,” Celestia added.

“What, really? That’s great!” Lyra beamed. “The entire human world will be open to us, if we catch some bird?”

“Now, now, Princess,” Discord cut in. “In most circumstances I’d be fine with letting you make a fool of yourself, but using the volatile magic of one of the seven anomalies poses a significant risk for the reason you want to use it. One that even I don’t believe you should underestimate.”

“You have our attention,” Celestia said.

“From what I gather, you want to use the magic of the anomalies like a faucet, keeping a constant flow of magic to power your little portal, is that about right?”

Celestia nodded.

“What would happen if too much of that magic flowed through and you couldn’t shut it off?” Discord asked with a greasy smile. “I’m sure Twilight has toyed with the scenario and run the numbers.”

“I have,” Twilight confirmed, her face stoic. “Of course, it’s all theory, but the portal would most likely expand to an unstable size, the results would be a merging of our worlds until one was swallowed by the other.”

A few more gasp were heard.

Keon raised his hand. “Would that even be catastrophic?”

“Not a catastrophe in the sense of death, but our worlds would lose what makes them separate from each other,” Twilight clarified. “If Equis consumes your earth, your world would just become a part of our world, governed by the laws of magic. Vice versa, our world would lose all of its natural magic and conform to the laws of yours, if Earth consumed Equis. But this is the worst case scenario,” Twilight added upon seeing the horrified faces of some of the occupants.

“What kind of percentage are we talkin' here?” Dash asked.

“That’s impossible to know without having an EON to study its magic and understand how its ability works,” Twilight answered. “But we obviously wouldn’t try this without narrowing the chance of failure to the most marginal possibility.”

“Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Chris warned. “Nothing is promised after all, none of this will be possible if we can’t get our hands on one of these EONs and even doing so only opens up the possibility of this,” he reasoned. “But that’s why we need your help,” Chris said as he looked from Rarity to Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. “Twilight and Rainbow Dash are in, so what say you four?”

“Well, you can count me in!” Pinkie wasted no time in answering as she bounced readily on her stool.

Applejack tipped her hat towards Chris. “Don’t know much about all this fancy world joining y’all were goin on about, but Ah’ll help you rustle up one of these EONs, that much Ah can handle.”

Rarity sighed. “The thought of visiting that dreadful place is most unappealing. However, I suppose my choice was made the moment the others decided to accompany you, or perhaps the moment the two of you settled on this venture. Besides, the prospect of otherworldly customers is rather enticing.”

Chris smiled as he turned to the last of Celestia’s hoofed picked team, only to notice that she wasn’t present. “Where’d Fluttershy go?” he asked, only to notice her tiptoeing towards the exit. “Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy froze in place like an escaped convict who had been spotted by a searchlight. “Oh… Um… You see the thing is… I’m not going!” She squeaked before she made a break for the door.

Discord simply snapped his claws, teleporting Fluttershy back into her seat in a bright flash before she could reach the door.

“Oh, Fluttershy, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Discord cooed in her ear. “I was born there and I’m no worse for wear.”

“Um… Well, that is very reassuring, Discord,” Fluttershy said. “But if it’s all the same, I think I’ll sit this one out. I mean, Angel bunny needs me after all.”

Discord rolled his eyes before yet again snapping his fingers, causing Angel to appear in the palm of his paw. “Don’t worry about Angel, I'll personally take care of the little bundle of misery,” he said as he pinched his cheeks and stuffed a carrot into the rabbit’s mouth. “I mean, what are friends for?”

“Well, um…”

“Come on, Fluttershy, we’ll all be there. Besides, we need you,” Dash said. “Friends should have each other’s backs, am I right?”

“That’s not fair, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity cut in. “We shouldn’t pressure Fluttershy into coming if she’s decided against it…”

“No, she’s right,” Fluttershy relented. “Friends should be there for one another. I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to one of you and I wasn’t there to help. I’ll try to be brave for everypony, it’s the least I can do.”

“That’s all any pony could ask of you,” Twilight said.

Celestia smiled as if she were a proud mother, while Luna nodded in approval, happy to know that her sister’s faith wasn’t misplaced in the six ponies before her.

Clearing her throat, Rarity addressed the attendees. “So, what exactly is the course of action will we take? I’m sure that The Valley of The Changing Seasons is a restricted area in the griffin republic. How do you intend to have access granted?” Looking around the table she pressed on. “By those gathered, and by gathered I mean the absence of very key figures in the form of ambassadors, it could only mean that this entire venture will be taking place in secret, correct?”

“You’re right, no one knows about this, except for those in this room,” Chris answered. “It seems Celestia wants to hit as few bumps in the road as possible in getting one of these things. And as fortune would have it…” Chris looked towards Celestia.

“General Emerald Talon,” she answered.

“Right,” Chris nodded. “General Emerald Talon has invited us to his city, the exact place we need to be. I guess to extend a hand of friendship or to just meet the aliens. Either way, we’ll use that opportunity to convince him to let us in, hopefully without arousing any type of suspicion of our goal.”

“And if he so happens to deny such a request?” Rarity asked.

“Then we’ll let ourselves in,” Keon answered. “They’ll need a little more than a 'no trespassing' sign to keep a couple of determined humans from hopping that fence.”

“Security is a little tighter than a mere fence,” Twilight stated, “and that fence you planned on hopping is more like a towering wall,” she said as she produced a book from her saddle bags entitled: "The Seven A’s and what you should know." Turning a few pages, she pointed a hoof to a black and white diagram of the stone wall surrounding The Valley of The Changing Seasons. “Thirty meters tall and five meters thick, needless to say, we aren’t going over it without being spotted and definitely not going through it.”

“Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, teleport us through it?” Dash inquired.

Twilight shook her head, “That’s too much solid space for me to take a passenger with, and I don’t think you would want to know what would happen if I tried.”

“Actually, I’m kind of curious,” Keon said, feeling morbidly curiosity.

“Imagine becoming bonded to the inside of the wall on a molecular level,” Twilight answered.

He winced. “Ouch.”

“Anyway, without authorization, I don’t see how we’ll gain entry,” Twilight concluded as she shut the book. “No matter how silver-tongued the pair of you are, I don’t believe a general would fall for any of your excuses or ploys.”

“Celestia seems to have a contingency plan in place,” Chris said.

Twilight turned her head towards Celestia. “Is that true, Princess?”

“As the sponsor of this little escapade I have a heavy investment in your success,” Celestia assured her. “I’ve set the pieces precisely where they need to be. So, just try to enjoy your stay in Volare, and don’t fret so much on convincing General Emerald Talon to let you in.”

“But how, Princess?”

Discord spoke up. “Don’t underestimate the amount of pull your namby-pamby princesses have. They do oversee an entire country after all; trust that they have their sources, ones that may even surprise you.”

Rainbow Dash squealed. “This is so awesome. This meeting makes us sound like secret agents or something.”

Fluttershy tentatively raised a hoof to speak. “So, um, I was wondering, how exactly will the other humans feel about us connecting a portal to their world so suddenly and without their permission? They won’t be… well, angry, will they?”

Chris and Keon stared at one another for a moment before Chris chose to answer. “I can’t say what the general consensus will be, but I know this for certain: It will be an uphill battle for both sides, against superstition, fear, prejudice, and uncertainty. Some people will be angry, some afraid, others ecstatic about it. We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Personally, I think it will be fine,” Keon added. “You’re not exactly ponies in the sense of what humans have categorized as ponies, but you’re familiar to us. So, it won’t take long for people to accept what you are. On the other hand, if you were like, let’s say insectoids or something, then people would freak. But as it is ponies, deer, zebras, minotaurs, griffons, et cetera are all something we have familiarity with, so I doubt you have to worry about any type of mass animosity.”

“That’s good,” Fluttershy said, having been reassured.

Lyra finally spoke up. “So, when do you guys think you’ll be leaving?”

“You guys?” Keon asked “So, you’re not coming with?”

Lyra’s ears flattened, “Not that I wouldn’t love to, but Bon Bon would never let me go. She’ll probably drag me back to Ponyville by the tail the minute I step hoof out of here.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “To answer your question, I need at least three days to run all of my planned test on Chris’s genetic material, after that we need a few more days of prep time for the journey. One week from today we’ll leave for Volare. Everypony here should make the necessary arrangements for an extended leave.”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone, tis the season right? Anyway as always thanks to DF for the editing and looks like we'll finally be getting out of Canterlot in the next chapter. So yay for some new scenery and yay for being one step closer to finishing this story. That's it from me, I hope you guys liked the chapter and the Christmas pic until the next chapter. Oh and happy new year to everyone as well.

Chapter 18: Pinkie's Realization

Pinkie’s Realization

“So, do you think you’ve managed to have enough fun while we were here?” Bon Bon asked Lyra as they stood waiting at Canterlot’s train station platform. “For your sake, I hope you have. I’m so ready to get back to Ponyville and leave all this craziness behind me.”

Lyra awkwardly pawed at the cobblestones beneath her, sending a lone pebble bouncing across the ground. “Do you think I could ask you a favor?”

Bon Bon studied Lyra carefully before letting out an exhausted breath of air. She’d just about reached her limit as far as she was concerned. “What is it now, Lyra? And please don’t tell me it has to do with what was going on in that meeting, I’ve already told you, I want no part of it.”

“I just want to stay here in Canterlot for one week. They’ll be leaving after that,” Lyra stated. “I can’t tell you the details of what’s going on, but I’m asking for a solid here.”

Bon Bon’s ears flattened as she frowned. “Listen, Lyra, I’m not your mother, if you want to stay here for a week, and continue to play this ridiculous game, that’s your business, but I’ve got my candy shop to run. I can’t stay, somepony’s got to put food on the table because, well…”

“Yeah, I know I’m broke, don’t remind me,” Lyra grumbled. “Honestly, I’m surprised you still put up with me. Not that I don’t appreciate it.”

“Lucky for you, I hate cats, and I’m allergic to dogs, and you happen to make a good substitute,” Bon Bon teased as she playfully pushed Lyra with a hoof, much to her chagrin. “But don’t sweat it, you know I’ll never pressure you to settle for doing something you don’t love just to make some bits we don’t really need.”

“Damn, I wish I had a friend like you,” Keon said, inviting himself into their conversation. “People don’t usually take kindly to moochers back in our world.”

“Moochers?” Bon Bon repeated.

“Yeah, yah know, that bum of a friend who crashes on your couch and eats up all your shit without asking?”

“Ignore him,” Chris said with a sigh. He turned to Keon. “And can you go two seconds without being a prick?”

“And can you go two seconds without being a white knight?” Keon returned in kind. “Besides, you know I’m just joshing with them.”

“Yeah, but try and tone the joshing down while you’re gone; remember, there’s children where you’re going,” Chris said. “I’m not gonna be there to babysit you, so behave yourself.”

Bon Bon looked curious as she tilted her head. “And where are you headed?”

Keon shifted his backpack and pointed to the train tracks. “Aren’t we waiting for a train that goes to someplace called Ponytown?”

“I told you already, silly, it’s called Ponyville,” Pinkie chirped, bouncing up to them in her trademark fashion with Gummy clamped on tight to her thick, curly mane.

“Huh?” Bon Bon mouthed. “You’re going to Ponyville? But you’re the crazy human,” Bon Bon tapped Lyra as her eyes danced back and forth between the human and the direction of Ponyville. “Why is the crazy one coming?”

Lyra shrugged. “Beats me.”

“First of all, I’m not crazy, I’m just free spirited,” Keon argued. “Besides, that’s no way to talk to the guy that’s going to be crashing at your place tonight.”

“What!?” Bon Bon screeched with a look of horror on her face. “By who's authority?”

“Chill out,” Dash said as she, along with Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike, came walking up to stand alongside them on the platform. “He’s just pulling your tail. He’s not staying at your place.”

“And you needn’t worry, we’ll have him out of your mane within a few hours,” Rarity added. “His visit will only last for the afternoon.”

“Yeah, since it’ll only take me like a whole minute to let the Cakes know I’ll be gone for a bit, I can come back to Canterlot right away,” Pinkie explained.

“So, I figured I’d tag along since that’s the case. Yah know, have Pinkie show me where more down-to-earth ponies kick it.” Keon said. “Not that the aristocrats haven’t been just peachy.”

“So, you’re all heading back to Ponyville then?” Bon Bon asked.

“I’ll actually be staying here in Canterlot with Chris,” Twilight answered. “We’ve got a lot of work here to be done, but the rest of the girls need to make arrangements back in Ponyville. Fortunately, I have Spike to look after the library,” she finished, giving Spike an affectionate nuzzle.

“Always happy to be of service,” Spike stated while puffing out his chest proudly as though he were waiting to have a medal pinned to it.

Chris raised an eyebrow, finding it rather strange how happy Spike seemed to be about his subservient position in life. Being the assistant of a purple pony that just barely reached five feet with her horn, it hardly sounded like something a dragon should have taken pride in.

Or perhaps it was something that held prestige in their society, he didn’t know enough about it to say otherwise. After all, as far as he knew, ponies were running the ship, especially if the absurd notion of Celestia and Luna having control of their sun and moon held water.

He’d still not yet fully grasped that concept, even with the aid of an old, dusty book that helped him by divulging that their sun wasn’t really a sun at all, or any type of star for that matter, but something entirely artificial.

Supposedly, their natural sun had expired nearly an aeon ago and the dragons of ancient times had forged a replacement with their dragon flame and life force. An impossible yet morbid feat if it were true, considering that the book claimed that nearly ten million dragons had sacrificed their lives to create the ball of fire floating outside the atmosphere above the planet.

A noble act to be sure, although it had proven to be a near genocide for the dragon population, which had allowed ponies to take the helm of Equis with their superior numbers.

“I don’t really need to go myself, since Discord said he’ll look after all of my animal friends, but I just want to use this week to spend some time with them,” Fluttershy added.

“Well, Ah’m just hopin' Lemon Drop don’t mind stickin' around the farm a mite longer,” Applejack said. “And that mah purse can take a little more of a beating.”

“I’m sure we can have you reimbursed,” Chris assured her.

Applejack raised an eyebrow challengingly. “So, you’ve got Equestrian bits to throw mah way now?”

Chris shook his head. “No, but Celestia said that all funding for this venture would be provided by the crown. I’d wager your expenses are covered.”

“Ah’ll hold yah to that, pardner,” Applejack said just as the loud whistling of the approaching train pierced the air around them.

“Well, I’ll hold it to our benefactor,” Chris said with a forced chuckle as he watched the train come to a screeching halt in front of the platform.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Did the Muffin Man design this gingerbread train?” Keon mumbled, taking in every detail of the colorful train as it rumbled and hummed on the tracks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear I could eat the damn thing.”

“Attempting such an act would prove hazardous to your health and as such it is my obligation to advice against it.”

Keon turned towards the unfamiliar voice and spotted a dark blue pegasus sporting a long, wavy, powder blue mane. She was dressed in a lightweight, navy colored armor with a crescent moon emblem etched on the front of it.

Keon gave a wolf-whistle. “Who’s this?” he asked no one in particular as he pointed at the pegasus. “Luna’s love child or something? They look just alike.”

“I have to wonder how you didn’t notice her trailing behind you since we left the castle,” Twilight said, wearing an amused smirk on her lips.“But to answer your questions, first, no, Princess Luna has no children, second, she is actually your guard for the time that you’ll be away,” she explained. “Princess Luna insisted that you have one, preferably one that would make sure that you behaved yourself.”

“Damn, a chaperone,” Keon grumbled under his breath. “How am I’m supposed to cut loose with this ball and chain strapped to me?”

“I must not leave much of an impression if you’ve already forgotten me,” the pegasus spoke up in a stiff tone, one not befitting of her beauty, and roused Keon from his musings. “Or perhaps the absence of my night guard armor is to blame for this lapse.”

“Wait, you’re Nightmane?” Keon asked, his eyes widening considerably. “I guess Luna wasn’t kidding about the magic armor.”

Nightmane nodded. “So, you’re not so forgetful then?”

“Give me a break, sweetcheeks,” Keon said with a roll of his eyes. “You looked and sounded completely different before.”

“Never address me as sweetcheeks,” Nightmane warned in a steely tone.

“Let me guess, Sweetcheeks is your cousin,” Keon joked, only to receive a not so amused expression from Nightmane in return.

“Sorry, I find no amusement in your humor. Now, will you be so kind as to board the train? I would prefer we find good seating,” Nightmane said, more an order than a suggestion.

“I’m so not sitting next to you…”

Nightmane cut him off. “You will not impede me from fulfilling my duty to Princess Luna. So long as I’m assigned as your guard we may as well be conjoined twins. I suggest you get used to it.”

A low rumbling sound came from Pinkie’s gullet, who had been standing a short distance away from the two.

Applejack tilted her head and quirked a brow. “Uh, Sugar Cube, did you jus'…growl?”

Pinkie hastily shook her head, beaming, “Of course not, why would I be growling? That was probably just my tummy rumbling.”

Keon made to protest Nightmane’s proclamation but thought better of it when he noticed the glare she was sending his way.

“I mean…sure, I’ll find us some good seats,” he said quickly as he walked on to the nearest train compartment. “See yah later, Chris, Twilight!” he got out before he entered the train. “You too, uh…, Lyra?” he called out from out of view.

“Whoa, what a grouchy old nag,” Lyra commented the moment Nightmane entered the train compartment after Keon.

Bon Bon gasped. “Lyra!”

“What? I call 'em like I see 'em,” she said with a shrug. “Did Princess Luna really have to send such a hard-flank?”

“If you ask me, that one doesn’t know how to behave himself,” Bon Bon replied. “A good stern pony like that Nightmane is just what’s needed.”

Chris grinned mischievously. “I guess Luna took my advice then.”

“And what advice was that?” Rarity asked curiously.

“I suggested she send along a guard that takes minimal bullshit,” Chris answered. “If you have no one there to slap him on the wrist he’ll act like an idiot. Put someone there to kick him in the ass and he’ll behave himself.”

“Sorry, I was under the impression that you two were friends.” Rarity stated with an amused grin. “That seems rather cruel of you.”

“We call that tough love where I’m from,” Chris responded with an easygoing shrug.

“Hey, Pinkie, what’s gotten you so spaced out?” Dash asked while waving a hoof in front of Pinkie’s expressionless face. “Equis to Pinkie, somepony home in there?” Dash persisted.

Pinkie blinked a few times before coming to her senses. “There was that feeling again, just like with Chris, now it’s that meanie head Nightmane making my hooves tremble.”

Pinkie lifted a hoof to her face and stared at it, “I just can’t figure out what this feeling is,” she mumbled to herself as she placed the hoof under her chin in a thinking pose. “I’m pretty good with feelings, why can’t I place this one?”

Pinkie pried Gummy from her mane and stared into his pale purple eyes. “What do you think Gummy?”

Dash quirked her brow as she listened to Pinkie talk to her…pet.

“You know, you’re acting really weird. Well, weirder,” Dash commented.

“Of course, you’re a genius, Gummy!” Pinkie suddenly shouted before she hugged the gator tightly. “Why didn’t I think of that myself? If I can’t figure something out on my own then I should just ask my friends.”

“Pinkie, we’re getting on the train now, feel free to have all the private time with Gummy you want after we’re on it,” Dash said as she made her way into the train compartment after Applejack, Bon Bon, and Fluttershy, only giving Chris, Twilight, and Lyra a short nod for a goodbye.

“Oh, right. Coming,” Pinkie chirped before bouncing after Dash, while waving enthusiastically to the three that would be remaining in Canterlot. “See you guys later!”

“Well, this is goodbye for the time being,” Rarity said as Spike carted her luggage onto the train for her. “I’ll do my utmost to return here as swiftly as my obligations will allow. After all, there’s a few sights that I’d like to take in while here in Canterlot.”

“So, your urgency to get back doesn’t have anything to do with wanting to assist Tailor Made in creating the special clothing we’ll need?” Twilight asked with a knowing grin.

“Of course not,” Rarity refuted while upturning her nose for good measure. “Surely a pony of Tailor Made’s skill wouldn’t need the help of a small time designer like yours truly. However, on the minute chance that says she does, it wouldn’t hurt to be around either.”

“You shouldn’t sell yourself so short,” Twilight advised. “I had the chance to speak with her at the reception party, and it turns out that she’s actually quite a fan of yours,” Twilight continued. “Something about you being the most promising young prospect this side of Equestria.”

Rarity put a hoof to her head. “The Tailor Made said that about me? I didn’t even know she knew I existed, let alone followed my work.” She squealed.

“Last call for passengers!” a beige stallion dressed in a navy-colored train conductor’s uniform bellowed in a gravelly voice.

“Oh heavens, it would be quite troublesome to be left behind. Toodle-oo, darlings,” Rarity called out before she too entered the nearest train compartment.

“Well, we should be getting back to the castle,” Twilight said as she turned on her hooves to face Chris and Lyra, only to realize that the two weren’t there. Her eyes dilated to the size of saucers while she frantically danced back and forth on her hooves. “Oh no,” she gasped. “Where’d they get to? Did they run off, or did somepony foalnap them? Should I alert the guard or go straight to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna? No, they’ll be disappointed that I lost one of the two only humans. So, maybe I should go to Shining Armor.” Twilight stopped in her tracks, cutting off her tirade, and took a few deep, calming breaths. “Okay, just think, Twilight, you’re smart, resourceful. Now, if I were a lone human stranded on an alien planet, where would I go?”

The instant that Rarity had stepped inside the train compartment a pink foreleg had encompassed her barrel and all but dragged her to an empty seat.

“Pinkie, what’s the meaning of this?” Rarity inquired. “I assure you, I’m quite capable of finding a seat for myself,” she stated as she looked around, noting Pinkie had dragged her to a rather barren section of the train compartment.

Pinkie hopped onto the adjacent seat and stared at Rarity with a determined expression.

“Is there something wrong?” Rarity asked carefully, finding Pinkie’s behavior harder to place than usual.

The train shook as it lurched forward, signifying that it was now on its way to its next destination.

“We need to talk,” Pinkie spoke flatly as the train rumbled along.

“We...need to talk?” Rarity repeated Pinkie’s words slowly before her expression changed, and she nodded her head in agreement. “You’re absolutely right; I’ve been meaning to address you about the behavior you displayed during the round table.”

“Really?” Pinkie said as the expression on her face shifted to slight surprise. “I wanted to talk about that too, what are the odds?”

“I guess pretty good 'cause I wanna talk about it too, or should I say three?” Dash interjected. “I mean, you went full-on feral back there, that was totally hardcore coming from you. Seriously, you looked about ready to take Chris apart,” the prismatic maned pegasus added as she hovered above the empty section of Rarity’s seat before she dropped herself into it with all the grace of a drunken lumberjack.

“I didn’t want to take anypony apart, I just wanted to…well, I don’t know what I wanted,” Pinkie said as her ears folded down against the sides of her head.

Rarity frowned at Dash. “Pardon me if I’m wrong, but I believe Pinkie intended for this conversation to be of the private variety.”

“No, it’s okay,” Pinkie interrupted Rarity. “They say two heads are better than one, and now we’ve got four.”

“Four?” Dash echoed as she looked around, spotting Applejack, Fluttershy, Bon Bon, Spike, Keon, and Nightmane more than five rows down from them, absorbed in their own adamant discussion. “Who’s the fourth head?”

Pinkie smiled as she shoved Gummy into Dash’s muzzle. “Duh, Gummy's here.”

“Of course he is,” Dash mumbled back.

“Well, the thing is,” Pinkie continued after she’d removed Gummy from Dash’s personal space. “The way I acted earlier, I don’t know what that was, and I’ve been thinking super duper hard about it too, but I’m stumped.”

Rarity and Dash shared a look with one another before they went back to staring at Pinkie.

“Really?” Dash asked, sounding surprised. “I mean, it seemed pretty obvious to me what it was, and to be honest I’m kinda weirded out by it.”

“I figured you wouldn’t have understood why you did what you did,” Rarity commented as she nodded her head up and down in a sagely manner.

“How’d you figure that?” Pinkie asked. “Do you have an Orb of Fate's Destiny too, or do you just know me better than I know myself? I know a few other ponies like that.”

“How do I say this without sounding rude?” Rarity said with a sheepish grin.

“Let’s not beat around the bush,” Dash said with a look of annoyance. “Look here, Pinkie, I’ve realized that you either get something fully or you don’t get it at all, so I’ll tell it to you straight. You think with the maturity of a ten year old, so to anypony that knows you it would be obvious that you wouldn’t be able to figure out on your own that you like somepony,” Dash concluded with a winded huff. “There, I said it.”

Pinkie tilted her head in bewilderment, “Well, of course I like somepony: I like all ponies, you silly-filly.”

Dash just about slapped herself with her own hoof in defeat. “That’s not what I meant, Pinkie,” she replied in a groan.

“Darling, what Rainbow Dash here is trying to say is that you like-like somepony; as in, not just like a friend, like how you view, well, your friends, but as something more. Say, something more along the lines of…procreation.”

“Procre-what?”

“I mean on a more intimate level, sweetie,” Rarity clarified.

Pinkie gasped, “Wait, so you’re saying I like-like somepony, and not just like them, like I like all of my friends, but a whole different type of like?”

Dash dragged both forehooves down her face.

“Why is explaining such simple stuff to you so hard, but other times you get things that make my brain spin?” Dash said, with an exhausted huff.

“No, I get it perfectly,” Pinkie argued, “but I don’t get who I like-like. No pony like that is ringing any bells.”

“I expected it wouldn’t,” Rarity remarked, a gentle smile alighting on her face. “You have a love for all those that you meet, so differentiating between a platonic love and a romantic one probably doesn’t come natural to you, which is why you had such difficulty understanding these foreign feelings. But I’ll ask you this, whom was it that you wished to protect when your matriarchal instincts flared?” Rarity asked, trying to help Pinkie along.

Pinkie's eyes bulged. “When my what flared?”

“Enough with the big words, Rarity,” Dash groaned before she turned back to Pinkie. “Weren’t you ready to trample Chris underhoof because he punched somepony? Somepony you’ve happened to be spending a lot of time with?”

Pinkie scrunched up her face in deep concentration. “Wait a minute, you mean Keon?” she asked before she giggled. “That can’t be it, he’s my friend, I like him just like everypony else. I mean, so what if I get angry when somepony’s being mean to him, and that I get sad every time I think about him leaving to go back to the world of the humans, or my heart beats faster around him, or that when he touches me my cheeks heat up, and my hooves get sweaty, and my tail get’s super twitchy even though nothing falls afterwards…” Pinkie froze mid-sentence.

Rarity and Dash looked at one another, neither of them entirely sure what to make of Pinkie’s sudden stillness.

Had it been an epiphany or simple clarity? Either way, she suddenly felt enlightened as though a thick mist that had clouded her vision had been lifted. “It all makes sense now!”

Pinkie squealed joyously as she squeezed Gummy’s cheeks together “Nothing ever fell, but something did fall, and I get it now!”

She cheered as she stood to her hooves with purpose. “It was me: I’m the one who fell.”

“You’re the one who fell?” Dash repeated with a raised brow. “What are you talking about?”

Rarity’s eyes light up, she was quickly able to make sense of Pinkie’s sudden outburst.

“I’m the one who fell, don’t you get it?” Pinkie said one more time to Dash before she turned on her hooves. “There’s only one thing to do now.”

“Uh, Pinks, where are you going?” Dash asked.

“To make Keon my special somepony,” she answered as if it were obvious.

Rarity blanched. “What? You can’t do that.”

Pinkie stopped in her tracks. “What? Why not?” she asked with a genuine look of confusion. “Granny Surprise always told me that if I ever found somepony that I like-like that I should ask that pony to be my special somepony. Well, she didn’t say it like that, there were a bunch of rules and stuff, but I don’t remember them.”

“Does that advise count if they’re not actually a pony but an alien from a different universe?” Dash challenged. “Besides, those rules your grandmother was telling you about were more than likely how to court a stallion. So, we already know you don’t know the first thing about courting another pony, let alone a human; and up until a minute ago you didn’t even know you liked one, now you’re ready to make him your special somepony? I know this might sound kind of crazy coming from me, but slow down.”

“I’m inclined to agree with Dash here,” Rarity said, adding her two bits. “Not that I’m not happy that you’ve finally discovered such feelings for another, but you, or any of us for that matter, simply do not know enough about human customs to even begin to believe that taking such a direct approach with one could possibly be a wise decision,” she reasoned. “Humans may not be accustomed to the kind of forward advances that ponies employ, and he may very well reject them outright. I know it goes against the grain for a mare to bide her time in pursuing a significant other, for pickings are rather slim, but this may be the time to make use of such a method, especially if you consider the circumstances surrounding this particularly individual.”

“Well…I don’t know,” Pinkie said, not looking convinced.

Dash folded her forelegs behind her head and grinned, figuring that she knew just what to say to dissuade her pink friend. “But what if he doesn’t like you back?”

Pinkie’s body went rigid at Dash’s simple statement and Dash continued, realizing that she had Pinkie’s full attention. “Just hypothetically speaking here, but maybe our biped friend just isn’t into the whole 'I’m covered in fur and walk on four legs' kind of look, if you know what I mean,” Dash continued, trying to look aloof as she did so. “The way I hear it, humans are like the only non-animal on their whole planet, he might just think ponies are, well…gross looking. After all, I don’t think Chris and Keon are all that much to look at myself, even if they do have that oddly nice smell about them.”

“But what we look like doesn’t matter, does it?” Pinkie asked quietly as she looked at the window, studying her faint reflection in it and placing a hoof against the glass. “I mean…should it?”

“Of course not, Dear,” Rarity cut in after she’d given Dash a solid glare. “Looks should be the least of your concerns: It’s what’s inside that matters.”

Dash scoffed. “Says the mare that wanted to put a wedding band on Blueblood’s hoof before she even met the spoiled chump.”

“Lesson learned,” Rarity responded with a roll of her eyes and a flick of her mane. “Anyway, what Rainbow Dash was trying to say is that we have to be mindful of the viewpoints of others. Chris and Keon are indeed from another world, one without our kind in it. It is entirely possible that he will not be able to return your feelings. Although, granted, Keon seems rather open-minded, and he did refer to himself as free-spirited.”

“I don’t get it,” Pinkie said as she sat back down in her seat. “If there’s an opportunity, I shouldn’t waste time not seizing it, right?”

“That’s just it, we don’t know,” Dash stated. “If he were a stallion, griffin, minotaur, or, hay, just something born here on Equis, I’d say go for it and swing for the fences, but he’s not. He’s an alien that’s probably a little more worried about how he’s getting back to his world than settling down with somepony here after a week. I mean, he might even have a human mate already,” she added.

“He doesn’t,” Pinkie answered the moment Dash had gotten her statement out. “But what should I do? I don’t want to ignore these feelings now that I finally understand them.”

“And you won’t have to,” Rarity said as she leaned forward and placed a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. “You can express your desires eventually but not before we obtain the essential information we’ll need on human courting practices to best put the odds in your favor.”

“What is this for you anyway?” Dash asked Rarity curiously. “Do you have a personal stake in this or something? It’s like you don’t find it weird that Pinkie has a thing for the alien guy at all.”

“Did I find it weird when you confessed your love for Swift Silver the griffin?”

Dash shrugged indifferently. “What? That’s different, he’s the captain of the Air Talons, and he’s totally awesome! Besides, I said he was hot, I never said I was in love with him.”

“Regardless of that fact, I didn’t find your attraction to a non-pony questionable, and you should give Pinkie the same courtesy. The heart wants what it wants after all. ”

In the busy streets of Canterlot, Chris walked briskly along the cobblestones with Lyra in tow.

“Okay, so I may be wrong but last I checked you weren’t a prisoner of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” Lyra noted as she dutifully followed alongside Chris who had been nervously looking each and every way as they walked along the streets of Canterlot, eliciting many curious stares, muffled chatter, and the occasional camera flash. “So, why do you look as fidgety as somepony who’s just escaped from Alcatrotz prison?”

‘Alcatrotz? Now these similarities are starting to get silly,’ Chris thought as he looked over his shoulder and down at Lyra. “I’m not worried about your princesses, I’m worried about Twilight, she seems somewhat compulsive. Once she’s found out we just compromised her schedule...well, I just want to have some distance between her and us before then.”

“Compulsive? I guess it’s pretty safe to call her that, at least when it comes to schedules,” Lyra confirmed. “But look at you, I had you pegged for straight-reined, but here we are, sneaking off to...” Lyra turned her head to the side as she thought about it. “Where are we sneaking off to exactly?”

Chris pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper from his back pocket and unfolded it. “I was doing a little research on the area around here and came across this,” he said while holding the paper in front of Lyra’s face.

“Whimsical Falls,” Lyra read as her cheeks tinted pink through her mint green fur. “You’re taking me to Whimsical falls. You do know what ponies do at Whimsical Falls, right?”

“I guess it’s supposed to be some make-out point for young Canterlot ponies,” Chris answered, not sounding too interested in that part. “But before you get the wrong idea, let’s try to keep in mind that I’m not taking you anywhere, you followed me, remember?” Chris said with a shake of his head.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lyra said before she flashed a toothy grin, “but since you don’t have a guard with you, I figured I’d protect you from any would-be foalnappers.”

“Oh, thank ye, my knight in shining ar…” Chris paused. “You know what? Scratch what I was about to say,” he said before he went back to silently walking.

“So…” Lyra ventured. “If you don’t want to go to Whimsical Falls to make lovey-dovey’s with me, I mean somepony, then what are you going for?”

“You’re a bit of a contrarian, aren’t you?” Chris said as he stopped at a fork in the road that had three signs, each pointing in a different direction. Choosing to follow the one that pointed towards Whimsical Falls, he then addressed Lyra’s original question. “Whimsical Falls is akin to a nature reserve on my world, there’s a fish called the rainbow trout that travels up the rainbow stream this time of year, I wanted to see it for myself.”

“Oh right, the rainbow run.” Lyra said with a winning smile. “I remember coming to watch it on a class trip when I was just a filly. I can get why you’d be interested, seeing that you study animals and all, but it really is a sight to see even if you don’t really care about that type of thing.”

Chris nodded, “It sucks that I’m in a place like this but haven’t had the chance to really see it, yah know? I figure sneaking away for an hour or two will be worth whatever repercussions I get from Twilight.”

“Don’t tell me that daughter of mine has been keeping you under lock and key like you’re one of her little science projects,” a rather easy-going male voice called.

Chris and Lyra both turned around and were greeted by the sight of two ponies approaching them, neither of which seeming as apprehensive as the numerous other ponies that opted to stare at and follow Chris from a distance.

One of them was a stallion of a deep azure, a neatly styled, dark blue mane complimenting his coat. The mare that accompanied the stallion had a light gray coat with a rich sheen to it. Her mane was two toned, purple and off-gray.

Chris’s voice had gotten caught in his throat as he processed what the stallion had said.

“Your daughter? You mean, Twilight is your daughter?” Chris asked the stallion, only to realize that the stallion had somehow fallen asleep within the two seconds he’d been standing there.

Lyra leaned in close. “Is he really asleep?”

The mare sighed as she used a hoof to gently bump the stallion upside his head. “Sorry, my husband is a narcoleptic,” she explained as the stallion shook his head to regain focus.

Finding his bearings, the stallion spoke.“Sorry if I dozed off on you lad, it happens from time to time. By the way, my name is Night Light, and this lovely mare here is my wife, Twilight Velvet,” he said as he gestured to the mare next to him.

“It’s great that we’ve been given the chance to meet one of the visitors that’s gotten the entirety of Equis in an uproar,” Velvet said. “Even though Twilight has told us so much about the two of you humans in her recent letters, to see an alien in the flesh is still rather surreal.”

“I know, it’s so cool.” Lyra squeed.

“Wait a minute, Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armor, Twilight Velvet, Night Light?” Chris asked, his confusion plain on his face. “How exactly do last names work here?”

All three ponies looked at Chris with varying degrees of bewilderment.

“Last name, sonny?” Night Light repeated.

“You know, a surname,” Chris tried to explain. “Something the majority of your family would normally share. For instance, my last name is Hayn, same as my mother, sister, father, grandparents, aunties, and uncles.”

“What would be the point of having something like that?” Lyra asked curiously. “I wouldn’t want to have the same name as everypony in my family.”

“I don’t,” Chris clarified. “My full name is Chris Marshall Hayn, I only share the last portion of my name with my family. It makes keeping track of who you’re related to and just who you are a lot simpler than not having one.”

“A surname name you say,” Velvet muttered as she placed a hoof under her chin. “I think such a strange concept is just what I need for my next book.” Velvet’s horn suddenly shimmered, causing the hair clip she’d been wearing to spasm before it transformed into a notepad.

“Whoa, that’s high level stuff right there,” Lyra whispered to Chris as they watched Velvet jot down a few notes in her pad. “I’ve only ever seen Twilight and Trixie perform transmogrification magic. I guess I know where Twilight get’s that talent from now.”

Velvet looked up from her notes. “So, my little Twilight’s gotten transmogrification down? She hasn’t used it since she was just a filly and transformed her father and me into plants.”

“Wait, that happened?” Night Light asked as he scratched the top of his head trying to recall the memory. “How in the hay aren’t we dead then?”

Velvet sighed. “It may have been a fluke, but she performed the spell perfectly. I explained this to you a hoofful of times already…”

“Sorry, I don’t think he heard you,” Chris said while pointing to Night Light, who was once again sleeping.

Velvet looked at Night Light before shrugging. “Let’s just leave him asleep for the time being,” she suggested. “Now, about Twilight’s transmogrification?”

Lyra rubbed the back of her head bashfully. “Well, I don’t know if she’s got it down, but she did turn a frog into an orange. Well, it was more like a cross between an orange and a frog, like it was an orange that could still hop and croak and stuff.”

Velvet’s eyes widened in surprise. “That daughter of mine never ceases to amaze me. To have managed to keep that poor frog alive after a botched transformation, her talent is truly something special.”

“I’m sorry, but the entire concept seems farfetched to me,” Chris reasoned. “I can believe that you unicorns can transform inanimate objects into other inanimate objects since, well…I just saw you do it. Hell, I can suspend my disbelief enough to buy that you could transform something living into something else that's alive, even though I’d guess that would involve re-writing their genetic code, which sounds impossible. But transforming another living creature into a non-living object should by all means kill it outright.”

“Precisely, and that’s the kicker,” Velvet said with a nod of her head. “Twilight is the only unicorn since Star Swirl the Bearded who’s succeeded in not doing just that,” Velvet stated with something akin to pride and admiration in her tone. “Just transforming my hair clip into this notepad is extremely high-level magic, a level of power only a very small number of unicorns possess.”

“What exactly is Twilight?” Lyra asked bluntly. “Her power goes beyond talent, it’s like she’s got Alicorn blood pumping through her veins or something.”

Velvet looked thoughtful at Lyra’s statement. “Perhaps somewhere down our family line, but no pony could say for sure. But enough about my daughter, it’s not every day I get to converse with an alien. I don’t want to squander the opportunity, that’s if I’m not already imposing.”

“We were actually on our way to Whimsical Falls,” Chris stated matter-of-factly.

“For the rainbow run, no doubt,” Velvet ventured.

“How’d you know that?” Chris asked, genuinely interested in her answer.

“There can really only be one logical reason for a zoologist to sneak off from the castle to go to Whimsical Falls at this time of year,” Velvet explained. “If you wanted to give Twilight the slip, perhaps choosing such an obvious destination wasn’t the smartest of ideas,” she added with an amused smile. “Knowing my daughter, she’s already puzzled out where you would have gone and is probably already waiting there for you.”

Chris had no reason to think Velvet wrong, considering how bright Twilight seemed to be. “Damn, she’ll probably cart me back to the castle as soon as we get there.”

“Sorry, I dozed off on yah again,” Night Light groggily stated before he yawned loudly and wiped his eyes with a hoof. “But don’t worry, junior: We’ll talk to her about her all-work-and-no-play ethic,” Night Light said with a shake of his head. “And that girl actually wonders why she hasn’t found a stallion yet, with her mindset it should be obvious.”

“She doesn’t wonder why, we do,” Velvet clarified. “But she needs to realize she won’t be in her prime forever and really should consider pursuing a relationship,” Velvet said. “My grandfoals aren’t going to make themselves, and I’d like them before I’m too up there in years. Plus, with Shining’s condition, who knows how long we’ll be waiting.”

“Low levels of fertility isn’t a condition,” Night Light stated defensively. “My boy will pull through for us. Just you wait and see, he’s got my genes after all.”

“Um…should I really be involved in a conversation like this?” Chris asked nervously. “Isn’t Armor a prince, I think his private business should be, well…private.”

“Oh, look at us,” Velvet giggled. “After I’ve just said that we’ve spoken enough about Twilight, I’m right back on the subject of my foals. I’m so sorry for that.”

“It's fine,” Chris assured her. “Even in my world, parents love to talk about their kids, especially if they’re proud of them, and you two obviously have much to be proud of. Armor is a prince and Twilight is hax. I just don’t want to hear about their love life is all I’m saying.”

“Fair enough then, youngster,” Night Light replied with a nod. “But answer me this, Twilight is a choice looking mare, isn’t she?”

“Night Light!” Velvet gasped.

“What? I’ve never gotten an outside opinion on our daughter's appeal. I just want to know why she’s having trouble wrangling in a suitor,” Night Light stated innocently. “He’s a red blooded male I presume, I’m sure he’s had a look at her.”

Lyra frowned. “Chris doesn’t find her desirable in the least,” she stated defensively. “I mean, purple isn’t his color at all, clearly he’s more suited for aquamarine.”

‘Are all ponies so forward?’ Chris wondered to himself before he answered. “I actually haven’t looked at your daughter in any kind of suggestive light, sir. To tell you the truth, I haven’t the slightest idea of what is and what isn’t attractive in an equestrian pony. What I find attractive in human females just can’t be projected onto ponies.”

“Why not?” Lyra interrupted.

“Because it just doesn’t work that way,” Chris droned. “For example, let’s say I find a pretty face and a pair of perky breast attractive…”

“Breast?” Night Light repeated, seeming somewhat lost.

“Well, I guess you’d be more familiar with the term teats…”

“Hey, if you like teats, I’ve got a pair of those,” Lyra cut Chris off as she reared up on her legs, exposing her underbelly. “Don’t know why humans would like these, but if it’ll make you happy, you can look at mine for as long as you want.”

“Whoa, for the love of god put those away, Lyra, ponies are staring,” Chris said as he turned his head away from the view, blushing in embarrassment or shame, he couldn’t differentiate between the two at the moment.

“No pony’s staring,” Lyra argued as she looked around. “I mean, why would they? It’s just a pair of teats.”

Night Light quirked his brow and tilted his head. “I’ve gotta agree with your marefriend, youngin', you’re acting like the little lady just lifted her tail for you.”

“Humans are bit more modest than you’d probably think,” Chris explained, still keeping his eyes away from Lyra, even though she’d already fallen back down to all fours. “A mare showing her teats may not be an indecent act, but I can promise you that a human female doing the same thing would be seen that way.”

“Twilight did mention something about human decency in her letter,” Velvet confirmed. “More material for my book, I think so,” she added excitedly.

Deciding he’d wasted enough time chatting, Chris looked up at the sun before giving Night Light and Velvet a large smile. “Look how high the sun is, I think we really should be going.”

“Forgive us for wasting so much of your time,” Velvet apologized. “I guess we’ve squandered our opportunity to converse with you after all,” she said as her ears fell limp to her head.

Chris sighed. “If you really do have a lot you want to ask then you can tag along if you want. I’ll answer what I can on the way to the Falls.”

Velvet grinned something fierce, her pen tapping hungrily at her notepad in anticipation.

At the Ponyville train station, Applejack grinned as she slid open the train compartment door. “So good to be home,” she said as she stepped out of the train compartment and onto the platform. “Nothin' beats the air of Ponyville.”

Keon stepped out after her, followed closely by Nightmane then Fluttershy, Bon Bon, and finally Spike. Giving the air a few unnecessarily deep whiffs, he shrugged indifferently. “If you ask me, it smells a lot like fermented hay and oats.”

“Ah know, ain’t it the best?”

Keon shook his head. “Sure, if you grew up on a farm, I could see that.”

“It jus' so happens that Ah did,” Applejack said, with a not so hidden amount of pride behind her tone. “Sweet Apple Acres, we only grow the best apples this side of Equestria.”

“Nice slogan,” Keon muttered.

“That’s the one thing I can agree with AJ about,” Rainbow Dash said as she came out of the train compartment next, followed by Rarity, and then Pinkie, whom Keon noticed was wearing an even larger smile than she normally did, which was a feat in and of itself.

“Well, if it isn’t the ponies that were too cool to sit with us on the train,” Keon said as Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie fell in line next to them. “And here I thought we were tight like this, Pinkie,” he said while crossing his index and middle finger together.

“We are tight,” Pinkie hastily replied. “I mean, we’re like super-duper-rific tight, we were just, uh…”

“We were simply having lady talk,” Rarity chimed in, coming to Pinkie’s aid. “I’m sure you would have found no interest in our gossip.”

Keon shouldered his backpack, “You’re right, I don’t want to hear about what stallion’s you girls find hot.”

“I think you’ve got the wrong mares,” Bon Bon commented offhandedly. “Well, besides Rarity.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Dash inquired militantly.

Bon Bon had seemingly noticed her callousness and quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, I meant no offense. It’s just that, well, you and Pinkie don’t come off as the type to fawn over stallions, that’s all.”

“Oh, I guess that’s true enough,” Dash replied calmly. “At first I thought you were trying to say we bat for the same team or something.”

“Ah, so there’s our special guest,” a cheerful voice called, causing the group to turn towards it.

An older looking mare with a light tan coat and fully grayed mane stood staring at them from a short distance away.

“Mayor Mare?” Rarity inquired. “What are you doing here?”

She chortled as she approached. “Well, I am the Mayor. As such, it is my obligation and honor to welcome our visitor to Ponyville. It’s only a shame that I was uninformed about the last human that was here, I could have given him a proper Ponyville greeting.”

“How’d you know we were coming back, and that we’d be bringing one of the humans with us anyway?” Dash asked.

“There’s only one logical explanation here,” Pinkie cut in. “Mayor Mare is psychic.”

Mayor Mare shook her head in response. “No pony’s psychic Pinkie…no pony besides you anyway,” she added. “I was merely briefed about your arrival via letter by her highness Princess Celestia.”

“Okay, so maybe being psychic was the second most logical explanation then,” Pinkie said with a noncommittal shrug.

Mayor Mare coughed to regain their attention. “Mr. Keon, I’ve been informed that any expense you incur while here in Ponyville will be billed to and paid by the crown,” she explained. “Now, I’d be happy to assign you and miss?” Mayor Mare looked to the dark blue mare next to Keon.

“Nightmane,” she answered stiffly.

“Yes,” Mayor Mare continued. “Miss Nightmane an opportune tour guide if you so need…”

“Oh, you don’t need to go through the trouble, Mayor Mare,” Fluttershy said. “Pinkie here was going to…”

“She’s gone,” Spike stated bluntly while gesturing with a claw towards the spot Pinkie had been a moment before.

“Consarnit,” Applejack muttered. “Where’d that mare skedaddle off to?”

“Come on,” Dash responded. “You know how Pinkie is, she just kinda of does stuff like this. But anyway, I guess that means one of us will have to be his tour guide then…”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Tour Guides, at your service!” three voices cheered in unison.

“And guest,” Scootaloo added with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

Keon looked down and over his shoulder and found five small ponies staring up at him. The three fillies that had spoken in conjunction with one another were beaming up at him while the two other fillies were wearing less impressed expressions. “So, who’s this little welcoming committee?” he asked.

“Sound off, Crusaders!” Apple Bloom cried.

“Ahem, excuse me, but we’re not all a part of your little blank flank brigade, remember?”

Apple Bloom sighed and shook her head in frustration, “Fine, Ah’ll jus' introduce everypony,” she said. “That sound better, Diamond Tiara?”

“Hm,” was Diamond Tiara’s only reply.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes but said nothing more to Diamond Tiara. “This here is Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, and Ah'm Apple Bloom.”

“Apple Bloom,” Applejack cut in. “How in the hay did yah know we’d be here?”

“We didn’t,” she answered innocently. “Discord jus' said we’d find somethin' interestin' at the train station, and these two overheard us talkin' 'bout it on our way here and jus' followed us.”

“We did not,” Silver Spoon protested. “We were on our way to the train station anyway because, well…just because, OK?”

“A better question is why you were conversing with Discord in the first place,” Rarity chided Sweetie Belle. “I’m still somewhat wary of him after all.”

“We weren’t really,” Sweetie Belle explained.“We were house-sitting for Fluttershy, just like she asked, when Discord popped up and said he was relieving us of our duty.”

“And it’s not like we got our cutie marks in house-sitting anyway, so why stick around, know what I mean?” Scootaloo added.

Mayor Mare stepped forward. “It’s splendid that you youngsters would like to offer your services as tour guides; however, it wouldn’t be very professional to allow children to have that responsibility.”

“Aw!” Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo cried out together.

“Come on, Mayor Mare,” Scootaloo protested. “We’ve already proven we're good with humans, just ask Chris.”

“Uh-oh, Fluttershy,” Keon said after he’d finished studying each of the young ponies before him.

“Um, what is it? Is something wrong?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, I think this little pony here’s got you beat in cuteness,” he said while pointing a finger towards Diamond Tiara. “Just look at her little tiara, ain’t it cute?”

Diamond Tiara stuck her nose up in the air snobbishly and grinned, “At least he’s got good taste if he knows I’m the cutest.”

“There’s nothing cute about her,” Scootaloo mumbled under her breath before she stuck a hoof in her mouth and gagged.

“Green suits you well, Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara mocked, her grin so cocky and wide that her entire set of teeth were on display.

“Green with envy that is,” Silver Spoon added, sharing a hoofbump and laugh with Diamond Tiara.

“I take it they aren’t friends,” Keon whispered to the pony closest to him, which happened to be Nightmane.

“That’s not my concern,” was her sharp reply.

“You had a rough childhood, didn’t you?” Keon said before turning his attention back to Mayor Mare. “Hey, old school, if it’s all the same, I’d be fine with letting these kids play tour guide.”

Mayor Mare raised a brow at the nickname but smiled good-naturedly. Looking down at the fillies, she regarded them for a moment. “Are you girls sure you’re up for the task?”

“We lived here our whole lives, of course we’re up for it,” Sweetie Belle affirmed.

“Yeah, it’ll be easy,” Scootaloo added.

Mayor Mare nodded. “Very well then, if our guest is comfortable with this arrangement, I have no objections.”

Keon grinned. “So then, girls, where’s the nearest bar?”

“The nearest what?” they chorused.

Golden Oak Library

“Nope, that’s no good either,” Pinkie said as she tossed another book over her shoulder onto an ever growing pile of them.

“There you are, Pinkie, dontcha know everypony’s been looking for you?” Spike said as he entered the library and stared around curiously before frowning at the mess that he knew he’d have to clean up. “Hey, don’t you usually trash the library on Tuesdays?” he asked as he shut the door behind him and folded his stubby arms over his chest.

“Yeah, normally,” Pinkie nodded before tossing yet another book into the pile.

Spike raised a questioning brow at the pair of reading spectacles Pinkie was wearing but opted not to ask about it. “Okay, I’ll bite, what in Equestria are you looking for?”

“’A Mare’s Guide to Courting Humans’,” Pinkie answered.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on,” Spike said as he held his claws up. “First off, we’ve got nothing like that: Humans didn’t exist in Equestria until about a week ago, remember?”

Pinkie put down the book she’d been skimming and grinned. “You’re right, Spikey, how silly of me.”

“Riiiight...” Spike droned. “But tell me, even if it did exist, why would you of all ponies be looking for a book like that? I mean, it’s not like you plan on wooing …” Spike trailed off. “You know what, if it’s you I shouldn’t be surprised by this at all. But, like I’ve said, there’s no written 'guide to humans' books, but we could just look under Lyra’s checkout history,” Spike suggested. “She’s obsessed with bipedal things, right? I bet she has a laundry list of books that might help you.”

“You’re so smart, Spikey-Wikey!” Pinkie said as she scooped Spike up in a tight hug. “I don’t care what other ponies say about you.”

“I know, I know,” Spike said as he pried himself free from Pinkie’s embrace. “Hey, wait a minute, what do other ponies say about me?”

Pinkie giggled. “I was just kidding, Spike, no pony says anything about you.”

“Oh, right then,” Spike muttered then headed for the counter. “So, I take it Keon is the lucky one that caught your eye?” Spike asked, trying spark a conversation while he rummaged through a file cabinet. Before long, he pulled out a large tome.

“How’d you know?” Pinkie gasped in surprise.

“Call it a hunch, I guess,” Spike replied nonchalantly as he skimmed through pages of the log until he finally came across Lyra’s name. “Okay, let’s see what type of entertainment Lyra subscribes to,” he said while nodding his head up and down as he read with Pinkie leaning over his shoulder. “I think Lyra might need to see a shrink if she’s really this obsessed,” he stated.

“She’s already come to see me,” Pinkie said offhandedly as she placed a hoof on the parchment. Spike opened his mouth to say something about Pinkie’s comment but shut it, deciding against it. “Okay, I’ll need this one, that one, and this one, oh, and that one too!”

Spike wrote the list of books down before he asked Pinkie, “Yah know, this approach you’re taking seems more suited for Twilight. Isn’t your style more spontaneous and outgoing? I’d figure you’d just flat out ask Keon to be your special somepony in some ludicrous way, like with party cannons, fireworks and confetti, and stuff.”

“Hey, that’s what I wanted to do, but Rarity and Dash think that since he’s a human it’s more complicated than that.”

“I usually wouldn’t argue with Rarity, but in this case I think you should just be you and do what you would normally do. I mean, just being yourself normally pans out for you in the end, doesn’t it?” Spike said with a shrug, “But what do I know, I’m just a kid, right?” he concluded as he shut the checkout log and stuffed it back in the cabinet. Heading towards the bookshelves, Pinkie followed him.

“So, you think I should just be myself and hope for the best?”

Spike nodded as he used a claw to sort through the books. “Yeah, I really see these books doing you more harm than good. I mean sure, 'A Mare’s Guide to Bipedal Physiology' sounds useful enough; but the others, not so much. They’ll probably cause the same amount of trouble for you as just trying traditional pony courtship. After all, even though humans stand upright, they aren’t minotaurs or chimps.”

Pinkie was quiet for a moment before finally speaking. “I guess I’m afraid to find out that he doesn’t like me the same way I like him. Maybe I’m using the research as an excuse to put it off.”

“That doesn’t sound like you at all, somepony else must have put that fear into your head,” Spike stated as he stopped filling through the books and regarded Pinkie thoughtfully. “Whatever the case is, these books you want are even more useless than I thought.”

Pinkie looked confused. “What do you mean by that?”

“Let’s face it, Pinkie, you’re more than a little…weird,” Spike replied, “and no amount of prep reading will change your strange notions. Anypony that would fall for you would have to accept your zaniness and quirks from the beginning, otherwise you’d probably drive them insane, no offense.”

“None taken,” Pinkie responded.

“So, what I’m saying is that trying to follow the rules in these guide books would only make you do things you normally wouldn’t do, like reading them in the first place. You’ve already spent a lot of time with Keon, so he’s already seen what makes you, well…you, and he either likes you for it or he doesn’t.”

“You know what, Spike? You’re right,” Pinkie stated with vigor. “I know Rarity and Dash meant well, but I’ve got to do this my way,” she claimed before darting out of the library door, scattering a trail of paper in her wake.

“Good luck…I guess,” Spike said, even though Pinkie was long gone.

Chris wiped his eyes with his hands to make sure the light wasn’t playing tricks on them. “I don’t believe this,” he mouthed as he surveyed the area, completely ignoring the growing crowd of curious ponies around him. “The stream, the waterfalls, this is impossible.”

Lyra looked confused. “What’s impossible about them?”

“When I read the name 'rainbow stream' I didn’t actually think it was meant literally,” Chris explained, still staring wide eyed at what he presumed was a flowing river of rainbow colored water and a massive rainbow waterfall in the distance. “The colors aren’t even mixing, they’re perfectly aligned like an actual rainbow.”

“What’s confusing you about that?” Velvet asked. “It is a rainbow stream after all, that’s how it should be.”

Chris sat down in the grass and raked his hands through it. “Really, what the hell is magic, and how can it actually do things like this?” he muttered to himself just as a loud splash of something breaking the surface of the stream caught his attention.

Chris’s mouth hung from its hinges as he watched what he could only guess was a rainbow trout spring from the surface of the stream. Unlike the rainbow trout of his world, it had a stripped body and, as the name suggested, it was made of the seven colors of the rainbow. Its pectoral fins where similar to that of a flying fish, which explained the impressive hang time it was currently getting. However, what truly caught his attention was the size of the fish, it had to be at least ten feet, a true behemoth. This trout was soon followed by dozens more of them leaping from the surface as they traveled upstream towards the rainbow fall.

A purple hoof suddenly landed in front of Chris, and he stared up at who he knew it belonged to. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Hey, Twilight? Hey, Twilight? That’s all you’ve got to say? Do you have any idea of how worried I was?” Twilight said as she began to pace back and forth, her mane entirely disheveled. “What were you thinking, running off on your own like that? Something could have happened!”

“So, I’m just chopped liver, huh?” Lyra grumbled. “Besides, what could really have happened?”

Twilight rounded on Lyra. “He’s an inter-dimensional alien! A multitude of things could have happened if he wasn't sufficiently guarded.”

“Relax, Twily,” Night Light advised. “He’s fine. No need to have an aneurism over it.”

Twilight turned to address the one who had spoken to her but paused in surprise. “Mom? Dad? What in the hay are you doing here?”

Night Light chuckled. “Oh, now she notices us.”

“Keeping your human friend company and safe,” Velvet answered.

Twilight took a deep, calming breath. “It’s great that you two found him, but I really should be getting him back to the castle, we’ve still got plenty to get done, and we’re already terribly behind schedule.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a teensy bit overbearing?” Lyra asked.

“Overbearing? What makes you say that?” Twilight returned.

Lyra held up her muzzle high. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that what you want is the only thing that seems to matter.”

Twilight look taken aback. “That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah?” Lyra challenged. “How did you know we’d be here?”

“It was simple when I thought about it,” Twilight readily explained. “Chris would obviously find the rainbow run alluring, considering his area of study and that this is something that only happens once a year.”

Lyra pressed on. “So, you admit to knowing that this is something he would have enjoyed, yet you’re all too eager to crush his hopes.”

Twilight’s ears flattened. “Well, when you say it like that, of course it makes me sound like the bad guy, but I’m just trying to stay on top of things. Or would you rather Equestria be known as being incompetent, that it couldn’t handle this situation?”

“That’s enough out of you two.” Velvet snapped. “Besides, Mr. Chris seems to have lost interest in the argument.”

She pointed to where Chris and Night Light had walked over to watch a group of young stallions attempting to ride the rainbow trout.

“What are they doing?” Chris asked Night Light. As he watched, a stallion leapt on top of a trout as it broke the surface and latched on to its dorsal fin.

Night Light pointed to a part of the rainbow fall where the trout were actually swimming up it.

“Stallions that think they’re made of tough stuff always try to ride a trout up the rainbow fall this time of year,” he explained just as a pony was sent painfully flying off of the back of a trout before it even reached the fall.

Chris stared up at the fall and watched a few trout scale it in amazement. He'd wager that the fall was at least fifteen meters in height.

“Has anyone ever done it?”

Night Light nodded. “At least one pony manages to do it each year.”

“That so?” Chris said while pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the ground.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Twilight demanded as she, Lyra, and Velvet trotted over.

“What’s it look like?” Chris said as he sat on the ground and started to remove his shoes and socks. “I’m gonna take part in your culture and ride one of these trout up the falls.”

“But that’s too reckless,” Twilight argued. “Ponies get hurt trying to pull off this ridiculous stunt. No, I simply can’t allow it.”

“I’ll decide what’s reckless for me,” Chris countered, leaving little room for argument in his tone.

Twilight’s shoulders slumped, and she sighed in defeat. “Fine, go and prove your stallioness or manliness or whatever it would be in your case.”

Chris grinned, feeling as though a small victory had been won with Twilight.

“Wait, you can swim?” Lyra asked rather surprised. “But apes don’t swim. At least, I don’t think they can.”

“Not only do I swim, I’m pretty good at it,” Chris said while in the process of removing his pants. “Besides, humans are built a little different than the other great apes. Their muscle to fat ratio makes them sink, but humans have a bit more fat, and that makes us a lot more buoyant,” Chris explained as he stood to his feet, now only dressed in his boxer briefs.

“Um, so where’s the fat that makes you buoyant?” Velvet asked as her eyes scanned over Chris’s alien physique.

“Yeah, you look pretty muscly to me,” Lyra said, giving Chris a large dose of bedroom eyes before her expression morphed into a frown. “You forgot a piece of clothing, let me help you get that off,” she offered as her horn began to shimmer.

“No, don’t!” Chris shouted and instinctively reached for his briefs before Lyra had the chance to rip them off with her magic.

“Don’t bother, Lyra,” Twilight suggested. “I’ve learned that humans have a very strange sense of decency. You were about to expose something very private to human males, and to a crowd no less,” she added as she finally realized just how many of Canterlot’s residents had taken up positions on the grassy knoll to observe and see the human for themselves.

“What? His sheath? What’s so private about that?” Lyra asked.

“Well, the thing is,” Twilight whispered to Lyra, “humans don’t have a sheath, just a tuft of fine hair around the area that doesn’t actually shield their genitalia from view. This isn’t a problem for other primates, taking into account how unendowed they are, but for humans I can understand the taboo of letting it hang out,” she finished with the professionalism of a scholar.

“You mean, it just dangles there for anypony to see?” Lyra asked as she tried to picture it before shaking her head. “Hang on a sec, if it’s so private, how’d you see it?”

Twilight rolled her eyes at Lyra’s seemingly one track mind. “There was a bathroom incident involving Keon and Pinkie that I walked in on, that’s all I’ll say on the matter.”

“Incident?” Lyra looked intrigued. “Now, when you say incident-”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Twilight reprimanded Lyra. “For all of our sakes.”

Chapter 19: Human Genome

Human Genome

Griffin Empire: Volare

General Emerald Talon used a claw to expertly slice through the seal on the letter he’d just received directly from Celestia. His green eyes scanned over the parchment briefly before a grin split his beak.

“I swear by the old gods and the new, ponies never fail to prove their naïveté,” Emerald Talon stated with a chuckle.“Here I was suspecting that an old fossil like Celestia would be wise enough to hoard such valuable assets for herself. Yet, she’s relinquishing not one but both humans to me. Such fools, the lot of them. How they’ve managed to keep such influence among the nations with hearts as soft as theirs baffles me at times.”

“Is having good faith in your allies the same as being naïve, sir?”

Emerald Talon swiveled his head towards his assistant. A hen with pink plumage, mulberry colored fur and wearing a pair of thick bifocals.

“No, Rosary, it's not, just so long as you keep a healthy dose of mistrust to balance it out. However, our pony neighbors are all too happy to put blind trust in anyone and everyone that calls them friends, apparently an alien species is no exception to that foolishness of theirs either.”

Rosary raised a brow. “You believe that these humans are not to be trusted?”

“How can I trust them when they are already hiding or withholding information, such as their means of arrival or reason for coming here?” Emerald Talon countered.

Rosary flipped opened the notebook she’d been cradling in one of her forearms and skimmed over a section.

“But, according to Captain Starly’s reports, these humans are here entirely on accident, a misfortune involving an…EON.” She trailed off.

Emerald Talon snorted. “A fabricated tale, conjured by the ponies no doubt. Everyone knows EONs are nothing more than a myth to keep foolish cubs that wish for an early death out of the Valley of the Changing Seasons. These creatures are indeed up to something, every thinking creature has a motive or a desired outcome for any and every action that they take,” Emerald Talon explained. “My intuition tells me that these humans are no different.”

“By that logic, not only would the humans have their own agenda but wouldn’t Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have their own reasons as well for sending the humans here as you’ve requested of them?”

Emerald Talon clasped his black talons together. “Of course they do. If the information my sister Starly has been sending to my desk holds water, these humans will prove invaluable in bringing forth an industrial revolution and furthering our understanding of the world, but only if we can exploit them for everything they’re worth, that is. Surely both Princesses have realized the same.”

“Ponies have never much been advocates of change,” Rosary argued. “Perhaps they simply wish to be free of the burden of caring for these aliens and seek to give the responsibility to another nation?”

“In a perfect world, yes, but we don’t live in such a world,” Emerald Talon said as he stood from his chair and marched over towards a large window, his long coat dragging along the ground behind him. “Ponies have a deep seeded need for control, anything out of their control frightens them,” Emerald Talon explained.

“These aliens are no exception. I know as much, considering that Celestia has requested that six of her own be allowed to accompany these humans for the duration of their stay here, which means that she has no intentions of simply passing them off to me as she would lose control of the situation.”

Stopping at the window, he peered out over the city he had command over, his keen eyes tracking griffins as they went about their daily business down below. “Yes, I can feel it in my bones, those ponies have plans of their own for the humans, but until I can divulge what that is we’ll play their little game.”

Turning back towards Rosary, he snapped his talons together. “Rosary, begin making arrangements for our guest, they’ll require guards, servants, room and board, and spare no expense, we want them to like us after all.”

“Of course, sir.” Rosary bowed her head. “Any particular guards you had in mind?”

Emerald Talon placed a claw to his beak in thought. “Yes, get that niece of mine. She's always complaining about how dull her assignments are, maybe this will help her unruffle her feathers.”

Later that day

A griffin of golden brown fur and white plumage, sprinkled with a few stray light purple feathers, closed her locker after having thrown her duffle bag inside of it with more than enough force.

“Hey, Gilda!” A gray furred, white plumaged, and black winged griffin shouted in an upbeat tone as she shut her own locker and beamed at her irate looking companion. “Did you look at our assignment for next week!?”

“Ivory, do you have to shout everything you say?” Gilda asked with a heavy groan. “And no, I haven’t. You know I always wait for the briefing, but I’d guess its guard duty for another Equestrian envoy. Ancestors, it never changes.”

“I know, right! Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame!” Ivory singsonged.

“I think we all can agree that cubsitting Equestrian diplomats isn’t the most exciting of guard details,” a mellow voice said directly into Gilda’s ear, “but this time it’s different.”

Gilda turned her head only to come practically beak to beak with a griffin of ash black plumage and dark gray fur.

“You’re way too close, Ebony,” Gilda grumbled as she used her taloned hand to grasp the griffin’s face before shoving her out of her personal space. “And what do you mean by 'it's different'?”

Ebony smirked. “You’ve heard the news about the ape aliens, right?”

“How could I not,” Gilda commented. “Ever since we’ve learned the reason my aunt Starly was sent to Equestria, those lanky, furless chimps are all anyone’s been talking about in the barracks. It’s enough to make me want to pluck my feathers out.”

“Well, check this out!” Ivory exclaimed, jumping back into the conversation. “We’ve just got word from the pony princess; seems the humans have accepted General Emerald Talon’s invitation and are coming here for a visit, and we’ve been chosen for guard duty! I guess our superiors are finally recognizing our talents if they’re assigning us to guard the aliens!” Ivory bounced giddily as she spoke.

“Get real, Ivory,” Ebony argued. “They chose us for the same reason we’re assigned as guards for every pony envoy that shows up here. It’s because our Equestrian doesn’t lick rooster feathers, and word in the skies is these humans speak it natively.”

“So, Equestrian is their native tongue, huh?” Gilda commented as she leaned against her locker. “They already sound too ponyish to be cool, what a buzz kill.”

“They’re not all so bad!” Ivory reasoned. “Ponies I mean, we did have the chance to meet your old friend at the aerial relay tryouts for the Equestria Games, and she seemed cool enough!”

“Rainbow Dash?” Gilda grumbled. “I should have known she’d enter that, bet she’s still trying to wag her tail for those Wonderbolts,” she added, her expression sour.

“I know it’s not my business, but maybe you should bury the hatchet with your old friend,” Ebony suggested. “Otherwise things are going to get real awkward real quick.”

“You’re right, it’s not your business,” Gilda snapped snidely. “Besides, she’s all the way over in Equestria and I’m here, what can get awkward?”

“You really should go and read the assignment before the briefing,” Ebony stated with a shake of her head. “Your old friend is a part of the humans’ entourage along with the rest of Equestria’s elements of harmony.”

Gilda’s eyes widened, “You mean those six are coming along with the humans to Volare, and we’re their guards!?” Gilda’s head banged against her locker. “That means I have to deal with that pink menace again.”

“Pink menace?” Ivory repeated. “Who’s a pink menace?”

“An insufferable pony named Pinkie Pie,” Gilda said as she balled one of her claws and punched the other, making a loud clap reverberate throughout the room. “But this does present an opportunity.”

Ebony sat on her haunches and folded her arms over her chest. “An opportunity for what?”

“To get even,” Gilda replied with a grin.

Ponyville

“No, no, no,” Keon argued with his tour guides, the crusaders, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon, as they filed out of the taxi, or rather, more accurately, the pony-drawn carriage that they’d taken from the train station to the middle of town.

“For the last time, it’s a tattoo, not a cutie mark; my talent isn’t being Jesus,” Keon said, his annoyance beginning to mount, in part because of how many ponies had stopped what they were doing to ogle the confirmed alien in their midst.

“Ah don’t know,” Apple Bloom said skeptically as she stared at the crucifix on Keon’s shoulder. “Ya say it won’t come off, right?”

“It’s obviously not a cutie mark,” Diamond Tiara added in. “I mean, what kind of talent would hanging from a stick be anyway?”

“He’s actually nailed to it,” Keon deadpanned.

The five fillies’ mouths dropped as they stared at the tattoo with newly discovered horror, even Nightmane had raised a brow in surprise.

“Th-that human is nailed to that stick, like through his body?” Silver Spoon asked morbidly. “That’s horrible.”

“Kid, you don’t even know the half of it,” Keon said as he slid his sleeve back down over the tattoo.

“Well, if it’s not a cutie mark, and you don’t have magic in your world, then how’d you get that mark to stay on you like that?” Sweetie Belle asked as she tilted her head in thought.

“That’s the nature of a tattoo, and I paid someone to give me it,” Keon answered.

“Cool,” Scootaloo said while wearing a large grin. “You can just buy a cutie mark in your world? That would make life so much easier.”

“Yeah, then all the talentless losers could have a cutie mark,” Diamond Tiara teased.

Scootaloo grit her teeth while Apple Bloom put a hoof on her shoulder.

“Don’t get suckered in,” she advised Scootaloo before she turned back to Keon. “So, how does it work anyhow, the tattooin' Ah mean.”

Keon placed his index finger under his chin as he thought about it. “It’s a pretty simple process, I guess. Some dude takes this little electrically powered machine that moves a needle up and down really, really fast. It pricks the skin somewhere between fifty to a couple thousand times a minute, each time leaving a tiny little drop of ink under the skin. A few of hours of that and presto, you’ve got a nice, permanent picture on your body.”

Once again the girls found their jaws hanging by their hinges.

“Whoa, Chris didn’t tell us how totally gnarly your world is,” Scootaloo said, her expression seeming rather impressed.

Nightmane stared at the spot Keon’s tattoo was located for a moment before finally allowing her curiosity to break her silence.

“Why would you mutilate yourself in such a way?” she asked just as dryly as usual.

“Because it looks awesome,” was Keon’s answer.

“Humans must be as tough as minotaurs,” Apple Bloom reasoned. “Ah mean, as much as Ah want a cutie mark, Ah’d never do somethin like getting stabbed with a needle thousands of times to get one.”

“Yeah, me neither. I cried just from poking myself with one of my sisters sewing needles, and that was only once,” Sweetie Belle added.

Keon sighed. “I told you, it’s not a cutie mark. Besides, why are you girls so bent on cutie marks anyway?”

“Because they’re blank flanks,” Silver Spoon pointed out.

“Blank flanks? Real clever,” Keon said as he looked down his nose at Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. “So, does having one make you cool or something?”

“Duh,” Diamond Tiara said as she stuck her nose up high and proud. “It shows everypony just how special you are, or in some ponies cases, just how not special they are.”

‘As cute as this kid is, she’s got a stick so far up her ass it’s a wonder her hooves touch the ground.’

Keon then pointed to Diamond Tiara’s cutie mark. “So, your talent, the one that makes you so special, what is it exactly? While we’re at it, what’s does yours mean, too?” he added while looking at Silver Spoon.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo stared at one another as something dawned on them, they’d never once asked themselves what exactly Diamond Tiara’s and Silver Spoons’s special talents were.

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Diamond Tiara replied as she stroked a hoof through her mane. “Being beautiful is mine.”

“What!” Apple Bloom broke in. “How in tarnation is that a talent?”

“Because I'm Canterlot's, Little Fillies' Beauty Pageant Sweet Heart three years running,” Diamond Tiara stated with a condescending grin. “The first year I competed my cutie mark appeared, and that means that my talent is being beautiful and just plain better than everypony else.”

“Makes sense…I guess,” Keon said as he shrugged indifferently on the matter. “And what about you, Miss Silver Spoon?”

“Being a part of the one percent,” Silver Spoon answered flatly.

“You’re really trying to tell me being rich is your talent?” Keon asked, finding the idea just absurd enough to believe. “I mean, how do you excel at being born rich?”

Silver Spoon snorted and held up her muzzle. “Of course being rich isn’t a talent, I thought you humans were supposed to be smart enough to get a joke. My talent is jewelry crafting.”

“Well, excuse me,” Keon said, finding Silver Spoon’s callousness towards him adorable in an odd way.

“A cutie mark doesn’t necessarily depict a pony’s talent, but often can be seen as their defining characteristic. In rare cases it’s something more vague or abstract,” Nightmane explained.

“That so?” Keon said as he mulled over what Nightmane had said, realizing that in Fluttershy’s case that made much more sense. “But where do names come into play?”

Nightmane’s stiff expression hadn’t changed as she asked, “Names?”

Keon laughed lightly.

“Oh, come on. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, half the ponies I've met have names that coincided with their cutie marks,” he explained as he looked at Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, right?” She nodded in reply. “How good are you with a scooter?”

“I don’t know. Okay, I guess,” she answered, unsure of herself.

Keon looked at her skeptically. “Just okay?”

“Don’t be so modest,” Sweetie Belle said. “You’re the best pony on a scooter in all of Ponyville!”

Keon grinned at Nightmane. “See what I mean? Now, how long before a scooter pops up on her backside?”

“You don’t understand our culture; it’s not as simple as that.”

“Well, I’m trying to understand…”

“You’re not trying to understand,” Nightmane cut Keon off. “You’re trying to apply your form of reasoning, a reasoning that has no place here. Some things are simply better left unquestioned.”

“Yeah, like how Pinkie can tie balloons with just teeth and hooves,” Keon said as he shrugged and buried his hands into his pockets. “Or better yet, why do so many doors here have door knobs?” he finished just as his tour guides stopped in front of a modest-sized, brown building with a large saltshaker billboard posted above the western-styled saloon doors.

“What is this?” Keon asked bluntly, staring up at the salt shaker.

“This is a bar, right?” Scootaloo asked as she pointed to the name underneath the salt shaker. “Salty Spittoon, Salt Lick Bar.”

Apple Bloom licked her lips. “Applejack brought me here a few times. They’ve got the best salt licks in Ponyville.”

Diamond Tiara stared disapprovingly at the worn looking building “This place can’t hold a candle to Saltiest Alcove.”

“That fancy-shmancy place on the other side of town?” Apple Bloom asked with a roll of her eyes. “That place ain’t even worth its salt.”

‘Salt licks? Oh right, basic horse anatomy,’ Keon thought before shaking his head as Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara bickered with one another. “Scooter, I wasn’t serious about going to a bar, with a bunch of kids no less. Besides, this isn’t what I had in mind anyway.”

“Well, what did you have in mind?” Sweetie Belle asked curiously.

“Not important.”

“Well, since we’re here, we may as well go inside, right?” Sweetie Belle asked as she walked up towards the swinging doors, only for a burly, rust-red stallion to poke his head over the door frame and stare at her.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, little filly. You ain’t comin' in here. Git, scram, skedaddle!”

Sweetie Belle's ears pressed against her head as she slowly backpedaled away from the door. “Uh…sorry…I didn’t mean to...”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Sweetie Belle, it’s just a game, you’ve gotta be tough to get in. Don’t let him scare ya off so easy.”

“It’s just a game?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah, watch.”

Apple Bloom marched up to the door and glared at the bouncer.

“Alright,” the bouncer started, “welcome to the Salty Spittoon, how tough are ya?”

Apple Bloom reared up on her hind legs and pressed her forelegs to the door. “How tough am Ah? How tough am Ah? Today Ah fell and scraped mah knee.”

“What’s your point, little filly?”

“And Ah didn’t put a band-aid on it.”

“Wow, that is tough. Right this way,” the bouncer said as he stepped aside to allow Apple Bloom inside.

Apple Bloom beamed at the others before entering. “See, easy-peasy.”

“My turn, my turn,” Scootaloo said as she scurried over to the door.

“Aright, how tough are ya?”

Scootaloo grinned cockily. “Just yesterday I borrowed a pencil from Miss Cheerilee.”

“Yeah, so?”

“And I didn’t return it.”

“A rebel, huh? Right this way, little lady.”

Keon had been snickering for a while before it ascended to full on laughter after witnessing Scootaloo’s success.

“Oh god, this can’t be happening,” he chortled, needing to hold his sides. “This is like a skit from a cartoon, I swear it,” he finished as he stepped up for his turn. “Alright, chief, let’s do this.”

The bouncer measured up Keon. “Well, well, well, it appears one of the humans themselves have decided to grace our little establishment. Alien or no, I won’t cut you any slack, so how tough are ya?”

“How tough am I? I once fiddled with my stick for three hours straight.”

“Yeah, so?”

Keon paused for dramatic effect. “And I never ejaculated.”

Nightmane couldn’t keep her stoic façade up any longer, a look of shock replacing it. Even the bouncer's rough lips cracked into a smile before he burst into laughter. “I think that may be the best one I’ve heard since I started doing this job!” He then turned his attention to inside the shop as he yelled, “Hey, Malt! Make sure these guys have their fill of salt licks, it’s on me!”

“I’m just here for the scenery, don’t think I’ll be dining on a salt brick,” Keon said as the bouncer held the door open for him and he walked inside, leaving Nightmane outside, if only for a moment considering that she entered merely seconds after he did.

“That was quick,” Keon stated to Nightmane. “What did you tell him?”

“To step aside,” she deadpanned. “He obliged.”

“Man, you’re as warm a block of ice. Would it kill you to play along? They’re just having some fun here,” Keon said as he walked towards the table Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were already seated at, Nightmane on his heels.

“It’s childish,” Nightmane said dismissively.

Keon sighed as he moved a hand towards Nightmane’s ears and scratched behind them, causing her to go rigid. “Loosen up.”

“D-don’t touch me like that again…ever,” she said, looking a tad disheveled and anxious.

“A little scratch behind the ears and you turn to putty, I think I know your problem,” Keon said as he grinned from ear to ear. “The sheath needs a sword.”

“Stay out of my personal business,” Nightmane warned, her voice as cold as steel, yet the pink tint beneath her fur did little to make Keon take her serious.

“Hey, he did the thing, the thing with the fingers and the scratching!” Sweetie Belle cried out as she trotted over towards Keon and Nightmane with a large grin, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon trailing casually behind her. “The same thing Chris did.”

Keon sat down in an empty chair around the round table Apple Bloom had seized for their party. “So, what did you girls tell the guy at the door to get in?”

“We told him: We weren’t going to play his nonsense game to get in,” Diamond Tiara answered. “He let us through after that.”

“Well, I didn’t refuse to play,” Sweetie Belle confirmed, now sporting a toothy grin.

“So, whadya say then?” Apple Bloom asked with interest.

“I told him I take my own cookies out of the oven.”

“Yeah, so what?” Scootaloo cut in.

“Without oven mitts,” Sweetie Belle said as she hopped into the empty chair between Keon and Apple Bloom. “So, can I have a turn? You humans are the best at that scratching stuff.”

“No can do, kiddo, I’m not trying to find my way into a pony prison for child molestation.”

“Moles…what?”

Nightmane stomped on Keon’s foot underneath the table.

“Ouch!” Keon yelped in pain as he clutched his aching toe.

“These fillies are too young to hear such things.”

Keon glared at Nightmane. “You know, I may not be an expert on the matter but isn’t it counterproductive to hurt the one you’re supposed to be protecting from harm?”

“You endured the pain of that tattooing ordeal,” Nightmane answered with a shrug. “I’m sure your walking appendage will be fine.”

‘Jeez, she’s still pissed about that joke from when we first met?’ Keon mused. “What do you know about human anatomy anyway?” Keon argued. “My foot could be the most delicate body part I have, and you just came down on it with an armored hoof. Not the friendliest way to treat an alien guest.”

“Making sure you behave yourself was the only order I was given,” Nightmane countered. “Protecting you from physical harm would derive from my own good graces, which you currently aren’t in.”

Keon covered his face with his hands and dragged them down in frustration. “I really don’t like you.”

“The feeling's mutual.”

“I think I’m starting to appreciate silent guards more,” Keon said before he turned his attention back to Sweetie Belle. “To make a long story short, my fingers aren’t going near underage ponies.”

“Aw,” Sweetie Belle whined, her ears flattening while her irises expanded and tears formed. “Please?”

Keon grimaced, finding the feat of cartoon proportions that Sweetie Belle had performed with her eyes not so much adorable as entirely freaky on something made of flesh and bone. “Please, don’t ever do that again.”

Sweetie Belle lowered herself down into her chair in defeat. “That always works on my sister.”

Meanwhile

“Guwhaaa!!!” Chris screamed as he was thrown from the backside of a particularly large and angry trout he had attempted to ride.

Pulling himself out of the stream, Chris walked a short distance before he fell on his back onto the grass like a ton of bricks. Panting heavily, he stared blankly at the sky above until his vision was overtaken by Twilight’s and Lyra’s concerned faces.

“You‘ve been at this for over an hour, perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel?” Twilight suggested. “No pony will think any less of you for acknowledging your limitations.”

Chris looked towards the grassy knoll overseeing the rainbow stream. Apparently the populace were under the impression that he was putting on a show, considering that no less than a hundred ponies were currently watching him fail miserably.

“With your hands, I thought this would be a cakewalk for you, what’s the deal?” Lyra asked as she sat on her haunches next to Chris.

Chris’s brow narrowed in frustration. “The amount of mucus those trout produce is incredible, they’re about as slippery as an eel. I can’t get a good grip on their dorsal fin, and they get really testy when you grab them by their wings, I’ve the bruises to prove it,” he said as he pulled himself to a sitting position, his back popping in protest.

“Well, one thing you’ve got in spades, boy, is persistence,” Night Light said as he watched another pony go bouncing across the surface of the rainbow water like a skipping stone. “I’ve never seen a pony with the endurance to go at this for more than forty minutes; you have that to be proud of.”

“Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m setting records for getting my ass kicked,” Chris jested as he pulled himself back to a standing position. “Alright, round ten.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Velvet asked as she walked alongside Chris while he made his way back towards the water.

“I never start something that I don’t intend to finish,” Chris answered. “I’m stubborn like that. Besides, I can’t let the human race look pathetic, right?”

Velvet smiled. “How about a tip from an old pro at this?”

Chris looked down at Velvet. “Yeah, I could have used one of those about an hour ago. So, who’s this old pro?”

“You’re looking at her,” Velvet answered, sticking out her chest proudly. “I’ve accomplished this a few times in my youth as a matter of fact.”

“Wait, you mean to tell me you’ve done this before, and you’re just now offering help?” Chris asked, finding himself wanting to scream in frustration.

Velvet shrugged. “In my experience, males of all species are pigheaded and prefer to figure things out on their own. Celestia forbid they ever accept help from a female.”

Chris nodded his head as he stopped at the edge of the stream and watched as trout lazily passed beneath the glassy surface of the rainbow hued water. “I guess that’s something all males have in common: Our pride. Personally, my ego isn’t big enough for me to deny help, though. I’m the type of person that actually reads instructions instead of trying to just blindly figure it out.”

“I rather like you,” Velvet said with a large motherly smile. “That’s why I’m going to tell you the trick to doing this.”

“There’s a trick behind it?”

“There’s a trick to everything,” Velvet remarked before she started to explain. “I’m sure after over an hour of this you’ve noticed that these fish are incredibly slippery?” Chris simply nodded. “Even your unique appendages won’t give you an overwhelming advantage over hooves.”

Chris rubbed his aching shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve come to that conclusion already, so what’s the secret?”

“Finding the dry spot,” Velvet answered.

“The dry spot?” Chris repeated.

“These fish can only secrete that slippery mucus from six of their seven striped sections,” Velvet explained. “That means one of the sections of their body is much easier to grasp. Which section is different for every fish, but it’s extremely rare for it to be yellow or green. Being at the direct center of the fish and where their dorsal fins are largest, those two colors are the most common section ponies attempt to hold on to and the most common reason for why ponies fail at this.”

Velvet pointed to the stream. “This time, feel for the dry spot before you’re sent flying off the fish and try not to hurt yourself.”

“I got it,” Chris said before diving head first back into the water, if it could even be considered water. Whatever the liquid was, it felt more akin to floating on air rather than water. He felt so incredibly buoyant in the substance. He wagered it would actually take quite a bit of effort to drown himself in it.

“Mother, did you just say to him that you’ve done this before?” Twilight asked as she joined her mother at the stream's edge to watch Chris try yet again. “Why would you lie like that?”

Velvet grinned. “Figured that would light a fire under his butt if he thought an old mare like me had done it before.”

“So, what you told him…”

“Is true,” Velvet answered Twilight before she could finish her question. “The dry spot is the key, of that much I’m certain.”

Meanwhile, Chris swam deeper still, finding it the speed that he could swim in the stream and the clarity of his vision surprising. Despite the water being hued in a rainbow colored tint, his sight was as clear as if he had been wearing goggles.

Setting himself in position, he chose his opponent, a beast of a trout that already looked pissed off. He clenched onto the trout’s tail fin as it tried to make a go past him. The fish seized up, if only for a moment, before it took off like a spring-loaded cannon, instantly going for the surface and launching its large body out of the water in an attempt to free itself from its unwanted rider.

Chris held on for all he was worth while the fish thrashed about. Somehow, through the chaos of it all, he could hear Lyra and Twilight cheering him on.

Shinnying up the fish’s tail, he frantically felt with his hands and arms for something to hold onto that wasn’t covered in a thick layer of slime. Eventually he felt it, the fish's blue scales were as dry and rough as sandpaper, a vast departure from the rest of the fish’s slimy body.

‘I’ve got it!’ Chris thought as he wrapped his legs around the fish’s tail to further help him grip the trout.

The ponies watching from the knoll were standing in attention, now that Chris had managed to stay on longer than anyone they’d seen all day.

“Honey, I think you were wrong about those appendages of his not giving him an overwhelming advantage over hooves,” Night Light stated. “Just one little tip and he’s making those other ponies look like the amateurs they are.”

“I suppose I underestimated his strength,” Velvet said with a thoughtful nod.

Chris's arms burned with fatigue, and he grimaced as the fish's rough scales rubbed against his own skin with every flail and thrash it performed to rid itself of the nuisance on its back.

Chris could see the rainbow fall swiftly approaching, and along with it, his final destination and goal.

The fish plunged deep in its preparation to achieve the speed it would need to climb the fall. The act having caught Chris off guard, he had inhaled a large amount of water.

“Hey, check him out, Twilight,” Lyra squealed joyously while bouncing on her hooves as the fish sprang from the depths of the stream, flaring its feathered wings and climbing the fall. “He’s making it up the falls!” she said, pointing a hoof enthusiastically towards the spectacle.

“The alien, he’s going to do it!” a pony shouted.

“Wow, look at him go!” another pony joined in.

“I don’t bucking believe it!”

The crowd of ponies were shouting and stomping, cheering their alien visitor on as the trout powered up the fall, Chris clinging to it like koala.

Twilight narrowed her eyes.

“Wait, there’s something wrong,” she said as the fish and Chris went over the top of the fall and disappeared beneath the water.

The crowd had erupted into cheers, having seen the human accomplish the feat which so many had failed.

“Wrong, what’s wrong? He just did it!” Lyra shouted over the roar of the thundering hooves.

“Lad looked comatose holding onto that fish,” Night Light agreed, “and that’s not even counting the fact that he hasn’t resurfaced up there yet.”

“You don’t think?” Velvet wondered.

“Oh no,” Twilight’s said as her heart leapt into her throat, an instant later she’d disappeared in a sphere of purple magic.

“Wait, where is she going? What’s going on?” Lyra demanded to know while shaking Velvet roughly.

“Take it easy, I need to concentrate, I’m not as quick with this as Twilight,” Velvet said as her horn shimmered and a sphere of pale purple magic encompassed her, Lyra, and Night Light. A moment later they disappeared in a loud pop.

Sugar Cube Corner

Keon whistled as Sugar Cube Corner came into view. “So, does the evil witch from Hansel and Gretel stay in that place, or do all bakeries look that awesome here?”

“Don’t know about any evil witches, but Pinkie lives there with the Cakes,” Scootaloo said as she took in a deep whiff of the confectionery scented air.

“Wait, so Pinkie lives in a bakery?” Keon asked, finding the information not very surprising. “That girl does love her sweets, huh?”

“Me and her both,” Apple Bloom said as they entered into the shop, the bell above chiming as they did so.

“Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner,” a stout, plump, blue mare greeted from behind the counter in a singsong voice. “Oh…” she mouthed after realizing who or what was standing in her shop.

“Hey, Mrs. Cake!” Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle greeted in their trademark unison fashion while Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gave simple nods of acknowledgment.

“Hello, girls,” Mrs. Cake returned cheerfully as the group stopped in front of the counter.

Keon beamed at Mrs. Cake “So, you must be Pinkie’s mom, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Keon, by the way.”

Mrs. Cake chuckled. “I can see why you would think so considering our living arrangements, but I’m not Pinkie Pie’s mother, she stays in the loft as our apprentice.”

“Silly me, I should have known, you look way too young.”

Mrs. Cake smiled as she studied Keon with a discerning eye. “Well, I knew Pinkie had odd taste, but I think you take the cake. At least you’re charming or at least can pretend to be.”

“Come again?”

“Nothing, dear,” Mrs. Cake said. “So, what can I getcha?”

Considering he didn’t spy any menus throughout the shop, Keon leaned over to stare into the glass counter which was littered with confectioneries and candies of all varieties. “Think I’ll take a…” Keon paused, feeling something tugging on his pant leg.

Looking down, he found two tiny ponies at his feet. One of them a unicorn filly who possessed an orange mane and a yellow coat, while the other was a pegasus colt with a cream colored coat and brown mane. Both of them were staring back up at him.

Using his keen powers of deduction and common sense, he decided that they were babies, if their size and diapers weren’t clear enough indicators.

“Well, who are these little squirts?” Keon asked as he knelt down next to the baby ponies that were staring at him in confusion.

Mrs. Cake looked over the counter. “Pumpkin Cake, Pound Cake, how did you get out here? You two know it’s your nap time.”

“Maybe their baby senses were tingling,” Keon said as she stood up. “I bet I set off all kinds of alarms.”

“Their baby sense?” Mrs. Cake repeated while walking around the counter to retrieve her children. “Well, we've already got a Pinkie sense in here, why not a baby sense?” she said as she picked up Pumpkin Cake and reached for Pound cake but not before he used his wings to lift himself onto Keon's shoulders.

Mrs. Cake furrowed her brow.

“Pound Cake, you get down from there at once,” she said before turning to Keon with an apologetic expression. “I'm so sorry, dear; these two can be a hoofful at times.

Keon grimaced as Pound Cake began to tug on his dreads, all while giggling and drooling on his head.

“That’s babies in a nutshell,” Keon reasoned, wincing with every tug, and not entirely sure what to do with the baby that had commandeered his head.

“If ya could jus' lower yerself a bit Ah could get him,” Apple Bloom suggested.

Keon knelt down low enough for Apple Bloom to reach Pound Cake. Unfortunately, Pound Cake still had a hoof full of Keon’s dreads in his hooves when Apple Bloom pried him free, the sound of it akin to velcro. It took all of his willpower to not scream from the resulting pain.

“Heavens, are you okay?” Mrs. Cake asked worriedly.

Keon wiped a tear from his eye. “Yeah I’m fine,” he lied. “Quite a grip, considering he’s got hooves.”

Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake were laughing at Keon’s pained expression.

“That’s not funny,” Mrs. Cake scolded the two, “You know better tha…” Mrs. Cake was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a loud explosion coming from the kitchen behind her.

A tall, lanky stallion burst through the kitchen door in a coughing fit, a large plume of black smoke billowing out behind him. He was covered from head to hoof in cake batter, confetti, streamers, and deflated balloons.

“Honey, what in Celestia’s name is going on back there?” Mrs. Cake all but demanded to know.

The stallion coughed a few more times. “It’s Pinkie Pie. She’s building one of her contraptions again. Darn thing went haywire, just about blew me apart with cake in there. Luckily, she hasn’t gotten the fireworks in it just yet or I’d really be feeling it.”

Keon studied the stallion that entered. His color scheme was only a few shades off from Pumpkin Cake's while his build was wiry and taller than any normal pony he’d seen thus far. The stallion was nearly eye level with himself, an interesting contrast to his wife’s short and stout physique.

Mr. Cake’s eyes wandered over to the two-legged creature standing in his shop before he marched up to him and placed a sympathetic hoof on his shoulder.

“Sonny, that mare in there is gonna be the death of you. Celestia's grace be with you,” he said just before the sprinklers overhead turned on, drenching everyone in the shop. “Or maybe all of us.”

Canterlot

Chris’s eyes lazily opened, his vision being hazy and taking a few moments to adjust to the bright lighting of his surroundings. He was in a bed he realized, a large and comfortable one. The room itself was plain, nothing more than a single dresser with a firefly lamp on it and monotone green wall paper. Pulling the sheets from his chest, he lifted himself up into a sitting position, grimacing in the process. Looking down, he found numerous purplish hoof-shaped bruises on his chest.

“Welcome back.”

Chris turned his head to find Keon in a chair next to his bedside, a magazine titled ‘Pony Weekly’ resting in his hands. “Welcome back?” he muttered in confusion. “What are you talking about, welcome back from what?”

Keon leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know, maybe from your near death experience. By the way, trying to show off for the pony populace, real smooth, buddy.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your memory is shot, huh?” Keon asked rhetorically. “Dude, you almost drowned trying to ride something they called a rainbow trout up a waterfall.”

Chris blinked a few times in confusion before his memories came flooding back. “You’re right, I remember trying that now, but I blacked out when I thought I had it too.” Chris slumped back in his bed. “So, how long was I out for?”

“About six days,” Keon answered dryly.

“Six days!?” Chris shouted in disbelief.

“Nah, I’m just messing with you.” Keon chuckled. “You think I would have waited at your bedside for six freaking days? I don’t like you that much. It’s been like two hours, and thanks for ruining my trip to Ponyville by the way.”

Chris looked at Keon, noting that his hair and clothes where caked in something. “What are you covered in?”

Keon looked down at his filthy clothes. “Cake batter, sprinkles, frosting, and whatever the hell else was in that machine Pinkie had.”

“A machine?”

Keon nodded. “Yeah, she said she had something super-duper-rific important to tell me, her words not mine, and then rolled out this thing. It was sorta of like a cart, I don’t even know really, but check this out: It starts playing music, shooting confetti, streamers, and fireworks and balloons are coming out of it. I guess she overdid it on the gunpowder because the damn thing blows up, cake batter was everywhere. I got drenched in the stuff.”

Chris chuckled. “She’s a character, that’s for sure. So, what did she have to tell you that was so important?”

“She didn’t,” Keon answered with a shrug. “She said she’d flubbed and took off like a bat out of hell, that was right before Luna showed up looking like she’d run a marathon.”

“Luna?” Chris asked as he quirked his brow.

“Yeah, turns out she flew all the way from Canterlot to Ponyville,” Keon explained. “She said you had an accident, and I was to come at once. Man, you should have seen Nightmane’s face when Luna told me to get on her back.” Keon laughed after having recalled the memory. “Poor thing tried to keep up with Luna, but it was like watching a fat guy race Usain Bolt. Shit, I could barely hold on. I just hope I didn’t bruise Luna’s neck, or Nightmane will probably castrate me for...”

A sudden knock on the door interrupted Keon mid speech.

“It’s open,” Keon called.

Chris and Keon watched as the door creaked open and Twilight slowly poked her head inside.

“Is Chris awake?” she asked softly.

“Of course he’s awake, I heard him in there!” Lyra shouted as she brazenly forced her way through the door. “Chris, you okay!?” she said as she bounded up to Chris’s bed side and threw herself over him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Chris winced in pain, choking and wheezing out, “Too heavy, you’re too heavy.”

“Lyra, get off of him,” Twilight ordered. “He’s been through enough as it is. Besides, you’re probably really irritating his bruises,” she added as her ears dropped, and she looked towards the floor.

Chris held a hand to his chest after Lyra had removed herself from him. “You know something about these?”

Lyra frowned, “Yeah, she knows, she’s the one that caused them after all.”

“Is that fair, Lyra?” Celestia asked as she entered into the room flanked by Luna, Velvet, and Night Light. “You know as well as I do that those were made from Twilight’s attempts to save Mr. Chris.”

Lyra’s ears flattened. “I know, it’s just…she kissed him!” she said while pointing an accusing hoof towards Twilight. “She took advantage of the situation!”

“For the last time, Lyra, it wasn’t a kiss! I took advantage of nothing!” Twilight shouted back, looking irritated and flustered at the same time. “It’s called insufflation, rescue breaths! For Celestia’s sake, I was trying to save his life!”

Lyra shoved her snout into Twilight’s. “You’d have me believe that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, yes, I would have you believe that!” Twilight said as she pushed back against Lyra’s muzzle. “I don’t see Chris in the same ridiculous manner as you do!”

Lyra pushed forward again. “So, it’s ridiculous, is it!? I didn’t realize you were one of those types!”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Twilight defended. “I just don’t… Hey, stop twisting my words!”

“I didn’t twist anything!”Lyra countered.

“Enough!” Velvet cut in as she stomped her hoof to silence Twilight and Lyra. “Would you two stop all this tireless yelling? I have had it up to here with this bickering from you two! Act like grown mares, not fillies.”

Chris placed a hand on his forehead to soothe his building headache. “Hold on, who kissed who? What happened? What is anyone even talking about?”

Luna cleared her throat. “Perhaps a retelling of the story is in order?”

“Thank you, I don’t like being out of the loop, especially when the subject matter is me,” Chris said, looking mildly agitated as he turned to Keon. “Well, let’s hear it, you’re wearing a stupid enough grin, I bet you’re dying to tell me.”

Keon almost looked surprised. “I think you’re better off hearing it from someone who was actually there, I’ll probably leave out some stuff or add in my own to spice it up.”

Twilight stepped forward. “I suppose I’m as good as anypony…”

“I’ll do it,” Lyra cut Twilight off. “You’re just going to try to make yourself sound extra cool.”

“I’ll reiterate the tale,” Velvet stated firmly, not leaving any room for compromise in her tone. “Lest you two start arguing again.”

Velvet’s horn began to glow as small purple sparks emitted from the tip of it. The room, having previously been well lit, began dimming.

A colorful, smoky substance began to seep from Velvet’s horn, creating a plume of shifting colors that began to overtake the entire room. Chris and Keon watched the show in wonderment as they found themselves surrounded by the colorful smoke.

“What is she doing?” Chris asked no one in particular.

“Story telling is my wife’s passion,” Night Light whispered back to Chris. “This type of illusion magic is her forte; she normally uses it to wow her audiences at her book signings.”

The smoky substance began to shift and swirl around the room until a hazy image of Whimsical Falls could be seen, which slowly began to sharpen and gain more focus until it was vividly clear. If Chris hadn’t known any better, he would have thought they’d been transported back to the falls. The grass, clouds, water, and even the ponies seemed incredibly real.

“Wow, is all this really just an illusion?” Keon asked while reaching out to touch one of the ponies that was standing next to him.

The pony in question, having been touched, popped into a cloud of smoke for a moment before reconstructing itself back into a pony.

“Yes, just an illusion,” Velvet confirmed. “Anything I can imagine I can visually depict within this space, but I don’t suggest moving around too much,” she warned. “We’re still in the confines of a room; you might walk into a wall,” she said before she pointed towards the stream where Chris could be seen riding a trout up the fall. “This is a good place to start.”

Chris leaned forward in his bed to better view himself riding up the fall. He didn’t look conscious, he noted. “This is trippy, watching myself like this,” he said as he tilted his head. “So, that’s what I look like from behind?”

Keon put a finger to his lips. “Shh, I’m trying to watch.”

“Are you kidding me? There’s no sound anyway.”

“You two can’t hear what’s going on?” Night Light asked with a hint of confusion directed at the humans.

“That’s to be expected,” Velvet reasoned. “Right, Twilight?”

“The visuals in mother's illusion spell isn’t a trick of the mind via magic,” Twilight said as she nodded her head. “She uses the smoke as a physical manifestation to project what she wants seen, so Chris and Keon’s resistance to magic does not prevent them from viewing it; however, the sound does involve magic altering the senses, in which case these two are unaffected.”

Night Light only looked more confused as he asked. “Are you saying they have a non-void field surrounding them?”

“Dad, did you read any of the letters I sent you and…” Twilight paused, realizing that Night had fallen asleep. “Never mind.”

“After you went over the falls, we all sensed that something was wrong,” Velvet said as everything they could see reverted back into colorful smoke before reshaping itself into a new scene.

They were all at the top of the falls where Chris should have been.

“As you can see, you never resurfaced after making it up the fall,” Velvet said as she pointed to the illusionary Twilight running along the stream, searching frantically.“Twilight was the first to realize something was wrong and was the first to make it up here,” Velvet finished just as the illusionary Twilight dove into the water.

“You should be on Baywatch,” Keon whispered to Twilight. Not having gotten the joke, she simply said she’d take his word for it.

Chris looked at Twilight with a building level of admiration as he watched the illusionary Twilight drag his limp, illusionary form out of the water. He was pale, deathly pale. If he hadn’t known that he lived through this he would have thought that he was witnessing his own death.

A crowd of ponies were starting to gather around the scene. The illusionary Twilight was shouting, at least that’s what Chris assumed she was doing. She looked terrified, he noted. A moment later Lyra, Velvet, and Night Light had pushed their way through the crowd, their expressions quickly changing to shock before being replaced with determination.

It seemed as if Twilight had ordered them to perform crowd control, for they began forcing ponies to back up and give them space.

Meanwhile, Twilight had placed an ear to Chris’s nose for a moment before using her hooves to turn him over on his side. A bit of water spewed from his mouth, and she rolled him back over, returning her ear to his nose.

After having done so, she seemingly shouted again, prompting Lyra to come to her side. Lyra nodded as Twilight gave her orders. Taking to her knees, Lyra held Chris’s limp arm in her hooves and placed her nose against his wrist.

“I told Lyra to feel for your pulse while I performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation,” Twilight said, narrating the scene for Chris and Keon.

The next moment the illusionary Twilight had clamped a hoof over Chris’s nose, brought her mouth down over his own and started to blow. The illusionary Lyra looked flabbergasted, her bottom jaw hanging by its hinges while the Lyra in the room turned her nose up in distaste.

“I think it's worse seeing it for a second time,” Lyra grumbled under her breath.

Keon wolf-whistled. “Jeez, Twilight, you could have at least bought him dinner before going to first base.”

Chris, Twilight, and Lyra glared at Keon for his opportune joke while Velvet stifled a giggle behind a hoof.

Luna looked confused. “First base?”

Twilight appeared abashed. “I had no choice,” she defended herself with more bite than she had probably intended. “I’m sure you would have done the same thing.”

“Nope,” Keon stated matter-of-factly.“Had I been in your position Chris would be six feet under right now.”

“You don’t mean that,” Velvet argued. “Only somepony truly self-conscious would place their own shame above a friend's life.”

Luna spoke up. “Fret not, Twilight Velvet, Mr. Keon’s choice in humor takes some getting used to, but I’m sure his statement was merely a jest.”

“I wonder about that,” Chris mused, turning his attention back to the scene where the illusionary Twilight was pounding on his chest alternating with giving him mouth to mouth. He winced with every hit Twilight delivered to his doppelganger.

“Who taught you how to do chest compressions?” Keon wondered aloud. “A silverback gorilla?”

“No, as a matter of fact it was a book,” Twilight affirmed. “Everything I did came from the published work, How to Save a Drowning Pony, but due to obvious differences in anatomy I had to make some improvisations to the techniques depicted.”

Chris’s illusionary form suddenly lurched forward, and he emptied out the contents of his stomach into the grass, much to his own disgust, just barely missing a surprised Twilight. His eyes were wild as they scanned the area frantically. Twilight had placed a comforting hoof on his chest and appeared to be trying to talk him down. Chris, however, hadn’t seem to hear a word she said, considering he’d never once acknowledged her presence before he passed out on the grass with a thump. He looked much more peaceful after having done so, his chest steadily rising and falling rhythmically.

The scene began to distort, shifting back into swirling colors of shapeless smoke. Velvet’s horn started acting like a vacuum nozzle, pulling in the substance from whence it came.

“Well, that’s what happened,” Velvet said after having returned the room to its normal state. “After the EMTs arrived and checked on you and gave us the okay, we brought you here to the castle's infirmary.”

Twilight looked at Chris’s bruises with remorse. “You were in a clinical death state; I had to get your heart going before you suffered any brain damage. At the time I hadn’t even considered how harsh my hooves would be on your skin, I’m sorry.”

“Twilight, the end more than justifies the means. I’ll take some bruises over death any day of the week,” Chris said with a smile before hesitantly resting his hands on top of Twilight and Lyra’s heads and started scratching their manes’. “I don’t even know what to say, I never thought I would owe my life to someone.”

‘So much for scratching being taboo,’ Keon mused.

Twilight shied away from Chris’s touch while Lyra was all too eager to lean in for more.

“You don’t owe us anything, what we did any friend would do,” Twilight protested. “Now, um, I’ve still got a lot of work to do. I mean, this whole fiasco has put me way behind schedule on getting those test started.”

“You don’t need my help?” Chris asked.

“No, you get some rest,” Twilight advised. “I can manage a few experiments on my own.”

Celestia feigned a cough. “I believe Twilight is right. You need your rest, you’ve been through quite a lot.”

Keon placed a hand on Lyra’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt your rubdown, but I think Celestia wants us out,” he said before turning to Chris and sticking out his fist towards him. “Take it easy, man. I’ll stop by tomorrow to check on you and to make sure these nurses are changing your bedpan.”

Chris chuckled dryly as he bumped fists with Keon. “Thanks, good to know you’re always looking out for me.”

The next day

Rarity shook her head in amusement as she walked along the corridors of Canterlot’s Castle with Pinkie walking at her side.

“Honestly, Pinkie, did you really believe that something as ridiculous as a be my special somepony bonanza, extravaganza, surprise wagon-cannon was a good idea?”

Pinkie furrowed her brow and looked to the ceiling in deep thought. “If I could have just worked out all the kinks then I’m sure it would have worked, too bad I’m not as good with this pyro stuff as my sister.”

“Pinkie, why didn’t you just heed my advice?” Rarity asked. “You have time, there’s no need to be so hasty. I’ve already offered to aid you in your endeavor. Just be patient, we must do this properly. Besides, it’s not like you have any competition for his affections. So, can you try to restrain yourself from any further antics, like that cannon idea?”

“Well…I suppose I could.”

“Good,” Rarity said with finality as she stopped in front of a large pair of double doors. “Okay, this is it. Do I look presentable?” Rarity asked as she struck a pose.

“Your coat is brushed, your hooves are polished, your mane is shiny, your eyelashes are curled, and your breath is fresh,” Pinkie answered as she performed a slow walk around Rarity. “So, you’re as radiant as you always are.”

“Excellent, one’s appearance is key in making a memorable first impression,” Rarity said as she placed a hoof against the door and left it there.

Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. “What are you waiting for? Get in there.”

Rarity’s hoof trembled against the wood grain. “Heavens, I’m just so nervous: I’m not only meeting with the Tailor Made, I get to assist her in the creation of our ensemble for the Valley of the Changing Seasons. I suppose I’m well, how did you put it…nervicited? ”

“Yep, nervicited,” Pinkie said with a nod of her head. “But you can’t have any assisting fun from behind a door, silly!” Pinkie exclaimed, having kicked the door open and literally tossed Rarity inside. “Have fun!” Pinkie shouted as Rarity went sliding across the marble floor until she bumped into a firm body.

Rarity tentatively looked up and was greeted by Tailor Made’s calculating eyes.

“T-Tailor Made,” Rarity squeaked.

“Darling, what are you doing on the floor? There’s work to be done and lots of it,” Tailor Made said, having used her pink hued magic to lift Rarity to her hooves. “We have no time for you to be tripping over your own hooves: Tailor Made is a professional and expects her requested help to be so as well.”

“B-but of course, I may as well be a professional at being professional,” Rarity said with a nervous grin. “I mean, what I meant to say was…”

Tailor Made sighed. “Rarity darling, you have no reason to be nervous, if anything I should be nervous. Tailor Made is working with an element of harmony, a national hero and the most promising young designer in Equestria. If she can maintain her composure in your presence, then you can keep yours in hers.”

Rarity nodded her understanding as she strengthened her resolve. “You’re absolutely right: This fanfilly behavior is so unbecoming, especially when we have important work to do.”

Tailor Made grinned, showcasing her pearly whites. “Now that’s better,” she said, having lead Rarity to a table with an assortment of odd fabrics.

“What are these fabrics?” Rarity asked while holding up a sheet of black material in her hooves. “I’ve never seen anything like them, and this texture…”

“These fabrics all posses qualities unique to them,” Tailor Made explained. “For instance, the one you’re holding in your hoof can absorb and store heat. From what I’ve read, this would prove most useful in a place with an unstable climate like the valley,” Tailor Made explained as she walked over to a new piece of dark green fabric and lifted it up.

“That’s odd,” Rarity commented. “I didn’t even notice that piece of fabric until you picked it up, was it really there this whole time?”

“Of course it was,” Tailor Made responded. “It’s called vanishing felt, harvested from the mane of a lion-tailed chameleon macaque.”

“So, it’s a fabric that can blend in into its surroundings?” Rarity asked curiously.

“Not exactly, the chameleon macaque doesn’t conceal its body through camouflage, but it conceals its presence. Everything has a presence: Somepony with high charisma tends to stand out among the crowd while wallflowers go unnoticed. The chameleon macaque can make its entire presence vanish. It could sit in plain sight but be extremely difficult to notice if it does not want to be,” Tailor Made said, having set the material back down on the table. “In a place where most things would probably wish to eat you, this is a highly convenient material to have.”

“I see,” Rarity commented while observing the numerous fabrics throughout the room. “And each of these has their own unique attributes? The possibilities must be endless for what we could create.”

“Remember this, Rarity, as a designer beauty is your priority; however, there comes a time when the utility and functionality of your designs are just as important, if not more, this is one of those times.”

“Are you…mentoring me?”

Tailor Made bopped Rarity on the nose with a polished hoof. “Tailor Made said that you were the most promising young talent in Equestria, did she not? As such she would like a hoof in your development,” she reasoned as she picked up a cup of tea and sipped from it.

“These materials are all specially crafted fabrics that cannot simply be woven together and still retain their functions. Combining these materials is a highly complicated and delicate procedure, one that Tailor Made would be happy to teach you, if you’re willing to learn.”

“I’d be honored!” Rarity answered enthusiastically. “The chance to add such a skill to my repertoire, I simply couldn't refuse.”

“That’s good to hear,” Tailor Made said as she transformed her crown into a pair of eye specs and placed them on her face. “Let us commence our work.”

Two Days Later

Twilight stroked a hoof through her matted and tangled mane as she swiveled her chair around to face Celestia and Luna. Her face looked worn and tired as she addressed her diarchs.

“Think of their genetic code as possessing gaps in its sequence,” Twilight explained. “Being from a different plane of existence, they’re built without magic being a part of their genetic makeup. Those gaps where magic would normally reside are merely waiting to be filled,” Twilight said as she hopped up from her chair and trotted over to a chalkboard that was covered in complicated diagrams and formulas.

“It goes without say that magic can’t be introduced to humans born in their own universe on a genetic level, because it’s simply not a part of a human’s blueprint. However, theoretically humans born here will conform to the laws of our universe and have the gaps filled by the natural magic of our world,” Twilight concluded.

“We still don’t know what that means exactly,” Velvet added. “Magic tends to accentuate the natural qualities of every being. Perhaps humans born on Equis will exhibit more strength, speed, stamina, or even nothing at all. However, our best theory is that magic will only amplify a human’s already impressive intelligence. For humans born with magic as a part of their genetic material, they will more than likely be held to a higher standard than normal humans in order to be considered geniuses.”

“Are you sure about this, Velvet and Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked as she removed her eye from the microscope.

“I’ve been shut in here for three days obsessing over this finding since I discovered it, I even took the liberty of bringing my mother in to assist me, the data is conclusive, Princess Luna,” Twilight assured her. “I’ve tested, re-tested, and tested again, I can’t deny the data any longer,” Twilight finished before she pointed a hoof at a petri dish. “However, this is the finding we had to discuss with you immediately.”

Luna walked over to the petri dish and stared at the pink goo inside with a look of revulsion. “What is it?”

“Chris’s reproductive cells,” Twilight answered bluntly.

“Why is it pink like that?”

“The coloration is from the test we’ve performed,” Velvet explained as she sat down in a nearby stool, fatigue having gotten the better of her as well. “Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin with this one, so I’ll let my daughter have the honors.”

Twilight walked back over to her chalkboard and flipped it around, revealing the backside where a diagram even more detailed than the first was drawn. “Everything is always easier to understand with a visual aid,” Twilight started. “Let’s just begin with the fact that human genetics are superficially similar but eerily different than our own. To keep it short, human DNA and RNA is fragile, very easy to decipher or even influenced by magic, at least once it’s left the protection of the human body that is,” she concluded.

Velvet gestured to the petri dish to emphasize her point. “Their genome is as delicate as that of a griffin or changeling, which can also be manipulated by our own DNA. I’m sure you understand the implications of that, no?”

Luna scratched her star infested mane bashfully.“Of course we do, but if it’s all the same you should explain it.”

“Hybridism,” Celestia muttered just loud enough for them to hear her.

Twilight nodded. “That’s correct, Princess. Of course, we only have anecdotal evidence. We could never know one hundred percent without putting it through clinical trials, but maybe a small test would suffice for the time being?”

“You’re suggesting performing an in vitro fertilization?” Celestia asked, her demeanor staying unreadable.

It was Velvet's turn to answer. “Yes, Princess, we’ll let the zygote cultivate in a growth medium that replicates the environment and magic levels of a mare’s womb for four days, just long enough to see if cells begin to healthily form, after which we’ll end the experiment.”

“You’re suggesting creating life then destroying it, all in service of an experiment?” Luna asked, not making any attempt to hide her disapproval in her tone. “You’re speaking of committing the ultimate act of hubris.”

Velvet took a large gulp of the lukewarm coffee sitting on the counter next to her and gingerly placed the cup back down. “With all due respect, your Highness, four days is before the blastocyst even attaches itself to the endometrium. At that stage of development it would be about as alive as your own skin cells beneath your coat.”

“You are intelligent, Twilight Velvet, no pony denies that, but do not patronize me,” Luna warned. “Life is life, it’s that simple.”

Velvet shrugged. “Fine, I suppose we could always ask one of the humans to go jump somepony's bones and see what happens.”

“Mom!” Twilight gasped.

“My humblest apologies, Princess. I’m tired and therefore agitated,” Velvet said before taking another swig of her coffee and then jumping off her stool. “But if we’ve reached an impasse here, I think I’ll go take a nap.”

“Wait,” Celestia ordered, prompting Velvet to stop in her tracks. “Will four days yield the results you are looking for?”

“But Tia…” Luna tried to argue.

“It will be long enough to deduce whether or not something can be viably produced,” Twilight chose to answer. “Unfortunately, we’d have to extend the experiment much longer to answer the hard-hitting questions, and letting it proceed for as long as we need goes beyond my morals as a scientist,” Twilight admitted. “Once the blastocyst attaches to the endometrium there would be no turning back, we’d have to see the entire development through to the end after that.”

Celestia’s horn began to glow as a soft aura of magic flooded the room before it expanded in a flash of bright light.

“Sister, what did you just do?” Luna asked.

“Anypony within a fifteen meter radius of this room will not be able to recall anything that happened in the last ten minutes,” Celestia explained. “Just a precaution in case of eavesdroppers, I also wove in a silencing spell to make sure this conversation remains a private,” she concluded before she turned back to face Twilight.

“This sounds very risky, Twilight,” Celestia continued, her face just as calm as when she’d first begun. “You know I trust you with anything, and I’m sure you understand the fix we would be in if this experiment were to somehow backfire on us? We’d lose what we’ve been working towards.”

“Yes, Princess, we fully understand what we’re asking of you, the implications and possible ramifications of it as well,” Twilight assured her. “That’s why we’re prepared to go completely off record with this. Your Highnesses would have no knowledge of what was done, my mother and I having gone through with the experiment without your consent.”

“And Mr. Chris and Mr. Keon?” Celestia ventured.

“If you two ever have to claim being incognizant then those two can’t know of this either,” Velvet answered.

Luna’s eyes widened. “No, we can’t allow that. Abandon this foolishness.”

“For the edification of the entire Equis populace we’re fine with shouldering this responsibility, Princess Luna,” Velvet argued. “At worst we’d be ostracized for our actions. You two on the other hoof stand to lose much more considering your positions.”

Celestia was quiet for a moment before she turned on her hooves. “Let us go, Luna, Velvet and Twilight would like to get back to their work.”

“Tia, I’m curious as well, but this is madness. You’re not truly going to allow them to go through with this?”

Celestia raised a brow. “Go through with what?”

Luna frowned as she followed after Celestia but stopped for a moment and turned to face Twilight.

“Remember this, Twilight Sparkle, we reap what we sow, I know this all too well. Let us hope there were no miscalculations in your data.” With that, Luna exited the lab.

Twilight watched as the door shut behind Celestia and Luna, and the once golden aura flooding the room began to dissipate.

“You don’t believe we’ve made a miscalculation somewhere, do you?” Twilight asked Velvet while flipping through her data log frantically. “We can’t afford to mess this up.”

Velvet placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Calm down, we are as prepared for this as we ever will be. But if you’re having second thoughts, we can forgo the experiment, we can keep our hooves out off this and let things unfold naturally. I’m sure once we’ve established friendly relations with the human race copulation between our species will eventually happen. History shows that it always does.”

Twilight looked surprised. “Mother, who told you about…”

“Have you ever known me to be ignorant to such obvious things?” Velvet asked. “All of this,” Velvet gestured to the room. “Would not be necessary if the princesses weren’t making plans to meet with the entirety of the human species. How you intend to do so I haven’t been able to puzzle out, but I’m sure it has to do with this trip to Volare. Now, I’ll say it again, if you’re uncertain, we do not have to go through with this.”

“No, I think I just let Princess Luna’s words scare me. We’ll proceed as scheduled.”

Velvet yawned. “I’ll need to take a trip down to Canterlot General and get a batch of oocyte from cryopreservation, hopefully no pony will ask too many questions.”

“Why don’t you get some rest instead?” Twilight offered her mother. “I’ll retrieve the oocyte, it’ll be easier for me to get them without rousing suspicion considering I’ve placed orders from Canterlot General in the past for other experiments.”

“If you insist,” Velvet said with a shrug. “But either way, I don’t have time to rest. You leave in four days after all. I’ll start setting up the growth medium while you’re gone.”

“Don’t overwork yourself, Mother.”

“This is nothing: Do you have any idea of how many all-nighters I’ve had to pull to meet a deadline for one of my books?”

“Yes, but for my own ease of mind, please don’t overdo it.”

Four days pass

Bon Bon sat impatiently at the Ponyville train station, watching as ponies walked to and fro. Lyra had sent her a letter earlier that week saying that she’d be back in Ponyville at the end of the week with the seven o’clock train; however, that train had already come and gone, along with the eight, nine, and ten o’clock trains.

“Where is she?” Bon Bon griped irritably while stomping a hoof on the ground. “I’ve been here for three hours. I swear, if that mare has… ugh, why do I even bother!?”

Meanwhile

“So, one of these is our ride?” Keon asked after Celestia had led him, Chris, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Starly into a large air hangar just outside of Canterlot’s royal castle.

The hangar had more than a dozen ships docked.

Celestia nodded. “These are my personal ships. You see, I’m something of a collector of them,” she said before pointing a golden-shod hoof towards the largest of all the docked airships. “This is my pride and joy. I call her Air Solstice. You’ll be taking her,” Celestia said while looking at the airship with motherly pride.

The design was that of a large, orange and golden ship. Both sides of the ship had sun emblems etched into the wood. The entire thing was tethered to a zeppelin-sized, red, and gold comet shaped balloon.

“Well that’s…different,” Chris noted. “That’s an interesting take on a blimp.”

“She may be big…”

“However, she's the fastest airship around,” Luna finished Celestia's sentence with a roll of her eyes. “Honestly, Sister, must you tell everypony you bring here about how great your ship is?”

“I’m sorry,” Celestia said with an embarrassed grin. “Seeing as I do not have any, I’ve come to think of these ships as my own foals. Silly, I know.”

“Everyone has their own little oddities about them,” Starly said as she came up to Celestia’s side and gazed up at the impressive ship. “It’s a bit grand to use as a simple transport, do the humans need something so luxurious?”

“Volare is quite a trip by airship,” Celestia reasoned. “There’s no harm in traveling in comfort. Besides, I’m sure General Emerald Talon will be more than liberal with his accommodations as well once they arrive.”

“He’ll have no choice with you setting the bar so high,” Starly said as she looked to her own carriage, her chauffeurs having already harnessed themselves in for the flight. “Well, boys, let's take to the skies. We’ve been away from home for far too long.”

“If we’re all going to the same city, why don’t you ride with us?” Keon asked the griffin captain. “Looks like a couple hundred people could fit comfortably on that beast.”

Starly shook her head in response. “Sorry, but I’m ready to see home, and that big air boat travels too slowly for my taste. In hindsight, I probably should have left a few days ago, just as Deerling, Zuri, Strong Horn, and Pembe have,” she said before she walked up to her carriage and pulled open the door. Giving a curt bow to Celestia and Luna, she stepped inside. “We’ll see each other soon enough,” she added to Chris and Keon.

With that, Starly closed the carriage door. The griffins, having taken that as their signal to leave, sprinted a few paces before extending their wings and taking off towards the hangar doors and into the air.

“Allow me to show you on board,” Celestia said as she began to march towards the Air Solstice with a noticeable amount of pep in her step.

“So, it’s finally time,” Chris said as he shouldered his backpack in anticipation and began to walk towards the ship with Celestia and Luna.

“Woo-hoo!” Pinkie shouted giddily. “It’s been like forever since I’ve been on a vacation,” she said as she bounced towards the ship with Dash floating lazily behind her.

“You know we’re on serous business, it’s not a vacation, Pinkie,” Dash stated firmly while scrutinizing Pinkie’s Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and straw hat. “And what’s with that beach getup? Volare’s at a super high altitude, it’s gonna be cold up there for you guys.”

“Just us? You don’t get cold or something?” Keon asked.

“Nope, I’m a pegasus. We’re built for the colder temperatures that come with living in the sky,” Dash explained.

“What she means is that we pegasi have a layer of down under our fur that keeps us nice and warm,” Fluttershy clarified.

“I have to admit, I feel a significant amount of excitement,” Rarity said as she used her magic to grasp her impressive quantity of luggage. “I’ve never been to a non-pony governed city; to be in the minority should prove an interesting experience.”

“It’s not all what it’s chalked up to be,” Keon said casually, following Chris, Celestia, Luna, Pinkie, Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity on board.

Twilight adjusted her own saddlebags but didn’t follow Celestia and the others. “I still feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“Sugar, that happens on every trip Ah take,” Applejack reasoned. “And if Ah know you, you’ve checked over your list more times than that Claus fellow Chris was tellin' us about.”

Twilight took a deep breath, “You’re right, Applejack. I’m just being paranoid. I’m sure everything is…”

“Twilight, Twilight!”

Twilight turned on her hooves and spotted Velvet waving her over from the hangar's entrance way.

“Mom?” she asked almost dumbly before making her way over to her.

“Thank the stars I caught you before you left,” Velvet said while taking a few deep breaths.

Twilight noted that Velvet was sweating, her mane was a mess, and she looked more than a little frantic. “Mother, what’s wrong? You look panicked.”

“What I look like is the least of our concerns,” Velvet stated. “We’ve got a problem back at the lab.”

Chapter 20: Chris and Twilight's Ethical Dilemma

Chris and Twilight’s Ethical Dilemma

Twilight and Velvet galloped with their utmost speed down the corridors of Canterlot’s royal castle, the latter of the two struggling to keep up with her youthful daughter. Servants and guards alike found themselves diving out of the way lest they be trampled.

“Twilight, hold your horses,” Velvet urged, inhaling deeply through her flared nostrils as she struggled to keep pace. “I’m not exactly a yearling.”

Twilight hadn’t paid her mother’s complaints any mind, considering that she was too occupied with ranting to herself while they ran. “What have I done? How could I have let this happen?” she shouted before she plowed into the lab’s door without slowing a beat, her weight and speed allowing her to rip the door from its hinges.

Velvet cringed at the sight. ‘She’s going to feel that one in the morning,’ she noted mentally, slowing her pace and entering into the lab just a moment after Twilight had.

Twilight felt as if somepony had poured ice water down her back as she placed her face against the glass of the growth medium. Its magnifying properties allowing her to see clearly what was taking place.

Twilight shook her head in utter denial, refusing to believe her eyes.

“This is impossible,” she muttered while pacing back and forth restlessly. “It’s only been four days, even deducting the five to seven day fertilization period we were able to bypass, how could it be this far along in development? It looks as if organogenesis has already begun, that would give it the equivalent of being four to five weeks into a typical pony pregnancy.”

Twilight stopped her pacing and sat on her haunches in defeat.

“I just don’t understand how this happened; the experiment was progressing at the speed we’d predicted, what could have happened in the last ten hours I was away to cause this huge leap in development?”

Velvet slowly walked over to her distraught daughter and placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder.

“I’m afraid I’m the pony to blame for this,” Velvet said, her tone sounding heavy and somber.

Twilight looked up at Velvet, confusion clearly written on her face. “What do you mean? How could this possibly be your fault?”

Velvet pointed a hoof towards four cylindrical crystals underneath the growth medium containment pod.

“The crystals we’d been using to provide the magic for the growth medium had suddenly lost all of their power last night,” Velvet explained.

Twilight’s ears twitched in attention. “They lost all power?”

Velvet nodded.

“The embryo, without warning, began using much more magic than it should have. Had this embryo been in the womb of an actual mare, she would have been in dire straits at the time from magic deprivation. In truth, I doubt she would have made it through the night.”

Twilight felt a small sense of accomplishment at having found out that morbid fact in a controlled environment. “So, a natural birth between our species is impossible then?”

“It’s still a possibility but only for select mares,” Velvet continued. “Those crystals were only meant to replicate magic at a 4.0 rating, the average for all ponies. However, I recharged and adjusted their magic output to save the experiment.”

Twilight stood to her hooves and walked over towards the glowing crystals.

“What did you increase their output too?” she asked curiously.

“Considering the highest I could power these crystals was to that of my own, that’s what I decided on, a 7.8. I believe that the sudden influx of magic is what caused this rapid acceleration in cell development.” Velvet explained. “Had I started from 4.0 and gradually increased it from there, this may have not of happened, but I well… panicked.”

“That makes sense,” Twilight reasoned before returning to the glass and staring at it with a clearer mind than she had done the first time. “Are the crystals currently still set to 7.8?”

“I slowly tapered the amount of magic in the crystals until I found the perfect middle ground of 6.3,” Velvet answered. “It seems that the bare minimum amount of magic required is no less than a 5.7. Anything less would put the mother at great risk. That makes conception between our species a rather tricky matter, not unlike griffin hens that attempt copulation with stallions.”

“We can go over the logistics of that later, at this moment we need to focus on the here and now,” Twilight said as she observed the embryo in fascination and, surprisingly enough, endearment. No longer was it an unidentifiable mass but a shape with vaguely identifiable features, unfortunately not enough to tell her if it would develop to be more human or pony.

“What are we going to do about this?”

Velvet sighed before she walked over and joined Twilight.

“You knew since the very moment you came into this room that there were only ever two options we would have,” Velvet said as she joined Twilight in staring at the embryo.

“Tell Mr. Chris and Mr. Keon what we’ve done and see how that goes. You know them better than me, but I imagine whatever friendship you’ve made with those two will be too strained to continue. No longer will they trust you or perhaps ponies as a whole for that matter, at least in the case of Mr. Chris. We’ve violated that boy in a manner no pony should ever be violated in.” Velvet said before adopting a more grim expression. “Or…we end it, sweep what we’ve done and its entirety under the rug…”

“Y-you, you two are insane!”

Twilight and Velvet turned around so fast at the sound of the voice that it was a wonder that their necks hadn’t broken.

Lyra was standing rigidly where the door had once been, looking appalled at what she had seen and heard from the two unicorns.

Twilight stared at the door that she had liberated from its hinges as it lay underneath Lyra’s hooves.

“Lyra, what are you doing here?” she found herself asking. “You should be on your way back to Ponyville.”

“I had planned on coming along with you guys by sneaking onto that air boat, and just when I was about to make my move, I saw you and your mother running from the air hangar like the changelings were attacking again. Naturally I wanted to see what the fuss was all about, so I followed you.”

Twilight subconsciously moved in front of the growth medium to obstruct Lyra’s view of it.

“There’s no point in trying to hide it now,” Lyra reasoned.

“I heard everything, I saw everything, I know what you two are growing in there.”

She pointed a hoof towards Twilight. “You’re twisted, you know that? Babies should be born, not grown in a lab, like some everyday garden plant! And now you’re talking about getting rid of it? Not on my watch. You’ve made your bed, now lay in it.”

“I intend to do just that,” Twilight said with conviction, causing Lyra to look at her in surprise, if only for a moment, before putting her mask of fury back on.

“Oh, yeah?” Lyra challenged. “How do I know you won’t try something sneaky? You’ve already proven to be untrustworthy. There’s no low you won’t stoop to when it comes to this stupid science stuff. You egghead research types are all the same, thinking you’ve got the right to do what you want to anypony you want just because you’re smart.”

Twilight felt her eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall with Lyra’s words. If a third party such as Lyra felt so strongly about what she had done, she couldn’t imagine how Chris himself would take the news.

Even though he had granted her permission to use his genetic material, but was this what he had in mind? Experimentation, sure, but conception and birth? She highly doubted it, and to make matters worse, using Chris’s reproductive cells for the fertility testing wasn’t even the foulest of her dirty laundry she’d yet to air.

Her throat became dry when she’d thought about that tidbit of information she’d been keeping from Velvet since they began the experiment.

Velvet cleared her throat with a cough. “Lyra you need to understand that what we did was necessary. We’ve already potentially saved somepony’s life here with the information we’ve gathered.”

Lyra shifted her attention to Velvet. “Yeah, I heard all the mumbo jumbo about magic levels, but where do morals, ethics, decency, and righteousness come into play? Just think about it, Twilight, you’re growing a foal in a glorified fish tank! No pony should be born like that, it’s disgusting. I’d sooner put that foal in my own belly than to let you continue to play mad scientist with it! To Tartarus with magic levels!”

Twilight put a firm hoof on the glass of the growth medium behind her and stared pointedly at Lyra. “Even if you have the magic levels to sustain its growth, I can’t allow you to do that Lyra.”

“What? Why not? I could be its surrogate...”

“Because it’s mine,” Twilight admitted, cutting Lyra off and causing Velvet and Lyra to stare at her in shock.

“My stars... Twilight, you didn’t, please tell me you didn’t.” Velvet pleaded, for the first time feeling as if their situation truly couldn’t get any worse, now that her daughter, and by extension herself, were involved on a more intimate level. “But why, Twilight?”

Twilight turned around to stare at the glass once again.

“It was Princess Luna’s words,” Twilight explained. “She said life is life, and no matter what stage of development the embryo would be at, once we aborted it, it would still be extinguishing a life. I realized that I couldn’t do something like that to somepony else if I wouldn’t do it to myself, so it would have to be my own oocyte we used for the testing.”

Velvet found herself struggling to find words. Becoming personally involved in an experiment such as this was something a scientist should never do; it went against all logic and protocols. Even so, in hindsight she was proud of her daughter for listening to her heart over her mind, even if it came at the worst possible time.

Meanwhile Lyra trembled in rage.

“YOU’RE MINE!” she shouted lividly as she sprang at and tackled a surprised Twilight.

Twilight and Lyra went rolling along the ground before they crashed into a table, sending notes, quills and ink flying through the air.

Twilight held her hooves to her head to help stop the ringing in her ears, only for Lyra to use that opportunity to spring on her once again but not before Velvet intercepted her with her magic, freezing her in midair.

“I think you need a time out and a chance to simmer down, Lyra.” Velvet said as she continued to hold the struggling mare in place. “Emotions are running high right now; I don’t want anypony to do something they may regret.”

Lyra grit her teeth and glared at Twilight, completely ignoring Velvet. “You’re the worst, Twilight, the absolute worst! You hear me!? You’ve stolen everything from Chris with what you’ve done; just wait until I tell him.”

Twilight wiped a few tears from her eyes as she got to her hooves and spoke softly. “You don’t have to, I will.”

“You will, huh?” Lyra said. “Prove it. Bring him here right now, and show him what you’ve done; show him just how bonkers you are.”

“Lyra, at least allow them to complete whatever it is they are trying to accomplish by going to Volare, before she springs this on him,” Velvet requested with hope in her eyes. “I’m sure he will be better off without this mess we’ve made looming over his…”

“No,” Twilight stated, surprising Velvet. “Ever since Chris and Keon arrived, I’ve been treating them as nothing more than something to be taken apart and studied. I’ve disregarded their trust and feelings in light of gaining knowledge. I was arrogant, believing that I could unmask everything there was to know about them and their kind swiftly and on my own, but I’ve used and betrayed them for the last time, this can’t wait.”

Twilight looked at Lyra with regret. “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. I know that, for whatever reasons, you are enamored with Chris. You must feel as if I’ve stolen something from you as well, and I’m truly sorry for that.”

Lyra’s facial expression softened while her muscles relaxed and she turned to look at Velvet. “I think I’ve cooled off, you can let me go now.”

Velvet studied Lyra carefully. “Are you certain you won’t attack Twilight when I release you, or me for that matter?”

Lyra nodded. “Yup, I pinkie promise I won’t.”

Velvet looked confused. “You pinkie what?”

“It's fine,” Twilight assured Velvet. “No pony breaks a pinkie promise, you can let her go.”

Velvet didn’t say a word as she released Lyra from her magical grip.

Meanwhile

“As a precaution, we’ve stationed two of my solar guard and two of Luna’s night guard aboard to accompany you. Although for diplomatic reasons they’ll remain stationed on the ship once you arrive in Volare,” Celestia said to Chris before they stopped in front of a stallion that Celestia hadn’t included in the guard count.

“Mr. Chris, I’d like you to meet Z. He’ll be the ship’s captain for your trip,” Celestia said as she held a hoof towards Z.

He was an older looking pegasus, sporting a flawlessly trimmed blue goatee, a windswept two-tone mane, his coat a pristine white. He had on a brown pilot jacket along with a pair of golden aviators masking his eyes.

“Z?” Chris asked. “That seems rather…ordinary?”

Z looked over the rim of his glasses at Chris. “Sorry, I know my name isn’t as colorful as what you’re used to hearing; afraid to say but my mother was a rather dull mare. Luckily, I take after my father as far as personality goes.”

Chris nodded before taking note of something he hadn’t seen thus far. An older pony without a cutie mark.

Z must have noticed where Chris’s eyes were focused because he smiled brightly and said, “I take it you haven’t come across a pony my age who’s still as blank as the day they were born.”

“Sorry if my staring was offensive,” Chris said, grinning uneasily. “I just assumed that…well, all ponies get them at a certain age, most likely somewhere around late childhood. At least, that’s what my observations would have me believe.”

Z continued to grin, obviously not bothered about his lack of a cutie mark. “Well, you wouldn’t be wrong, but you’ve got hopeless cases like me that just never find that one thing that they can brag about being really good at.”

Chris looked at Z with something akin to sympathy. He wasn’t certain but if how desperately the cutie mark crusaders wanted to gain their cutie marks was any indication, he wagered that Z at one point in his life must have been devastated once he realized he’d never find that one special thing that defined him.

“Don’t pity me kid, I sure as hay don’t,” Z stated. “Thanks to not having that brand tying me down, I’ve done more in my life than you could imagine. I don’t need some mark to tell me who I am, I get to decide that.”

Chris made to respond but found himself being sidetracked by the sudden scene of Twilight appearing in a bright flash of light and an audible pop.

“Not sure if I can ever get used to something like that,” Chris muttered to himself before addressing Twilight, making note of her disheveled appearance. “So, where’s the fire?”

Twilight looked past Chris and up at Celestia. By Celestia’s subtle nod, Twilight was able to deduce that Celestia could read the situation clearly.

Luna for her part simply stared at Twilight with a raised brow but chose not to make a statement.

“Chris,” Twilight started out carefully, “Would you mind…taking a walk with me? There’s something important we need to discuss.”

“Something important?” Chris repeated with a slight look of confusion before he turned to look at Celestia, Luna, and Z. The latter of the three looked even more confused than he had.

“Not that I want to get in your business, but aren’t we scheduled to take off soon?” Z added, having found the sudden request rather odd. “There’s plenty of rooms below deck if a private conversation is what you’re after.”

“I’m sorry that this will throw us off schedule, Captain, but I promise it’s of the utmost importance that Chris sees what I need to show him,” Twilight explained.

Z shrugged. “Whatever yah want little lady, I get paid by the hour, so take your time.”

Chris found his curiosity piqued. “You’ve got something to show me, and right before we leave? This must be good.”

Twilight chuckled nervously. “Well, it’s something alright.”

Chris looked towards Celestia and Luna. “Is it alright?”

“Of course,” Celestia answered, making sure to keep her expression neutral, though she was biting the inside of her cheek in order to do so.

Chris couldn’t help but notice Luna’s expression; she simply looked disappointed as she stared at Twilight.

Shrugging it off, Chris looked down at Twilight. “Lead the way.”

“So, what in the hay ya reckon that was all about?” Applejack asked Rainbow Dash, who was currently toying with the wheel of the air ship.

“Huh? What was what all about?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ah mean Twi takin' off like a bull at a rodeo.”

Dash shrugged indifferently on the matter. “My guess would be as good as yours, but I doubt it’s anything to get your mane in a knot over.”

“Ah don’t know,” Applejack argued, the skepticism clear in her tone. “Ya see how worried the Princess looked when Twi left with her mom? Then Twi jus' shows up out of the blue and nabs Chris. Ah bet ma bottom bit somethin’s goin' on.”

“Now that you mention it, Princess Celestia did look pretty disturbed when Twilight’s mother showed up, and Princess Luna was even more so when Twilight came back for Chris,” Fluttershy agreed as she looked over her shoulder towards Celestia, who was currently speaking with Luna and the captain of the ship. “And I’ve never seen Princess Luna disturbed before, so that is rather strange.”

“Well, if it’s something that concerns us I’m sure they’d let us know,” Dash reasoned. “Now, would you stop worrying? I’m sure everything’s cool.”

Applejack frowned but didn’t say anything else on the matter, turning her attention to the bow of the ship where Keon and Pinkie seemed to be too busy pestering one of the stationed solar guards to have noticed what had just taken place.

Keon shook his head in amusement as he watched Pinkie attempt to make one of the guards show some sign of life by making silly faces in front of him.

She huffed in frustration.

“What’s the deal; I can never make one of these guards smile, or even blink!”

“Goofy faces aren’t going to work on a dude that gets paid to look mad,” Keon said as he walked up closer to the guard and stared at the gold armored stallion, who was doing his best to imitate a statue. “But I bet I could get a reaction out of this guy.”

The guard hadn’t shown any form of response to Keon’s claim.

“Oh, yeah?” Pinkie said, looking eager. “I’d love to see you pull that off, these guys are really, really good after all.”

“Alright, check this out,” Keon said as he stared down the guard who looked at him impassively.

“So, what do you call a mean tempered horse?”

The guard’s blank expression hadn’t changed.

“A nightmare. Get it? It’s funny because it works on multiple levels here.”

“I told you they were good,” Pinkie said as the guard hadn’t even blinked at the pitiable joke.

“Okay, so he’s impervious to laffy taffy jokes, that just means I’ll have to pull out the big guns,” Keon reasoned while cracking his knuckles and plastering a mischievous grin on his face.

He stuck his index finger into his mouth, pulled it out and held it in the air for a moment.

“I think you might want to stand upwind Pinkie,” he warned before breaking the mother of all wind.

Pinkie howled in laughter as she fell to the hard wood floor.

“That sounded like a flugelhorn,” she managed between unladylike snorts and giggles, while the guard remained impassive as ever.

“Damn, this guy is good. That was one hundred percent human made flatulence sounding off,” Keon said as he looked at Pinkie, who was rolling on the ground in mirth.

“At least my ripping ass made one of you laugh,” he said just as Rarity approached them from behind.

“What is that horrendous smell?” Rarity asked while eying Keon suspiciously.

Keon tried to look innocent as he pointed a finger towards the guard. “Seems this guard is a little gassy today, must have been something in his oats.”

“It wasn’t me,” the guard defended himself irritably.

Keon grinned at Pinkie. “Well, there you have it, Pinkie. I guess this guy's dignity means more to him than staying silent. If you want one of them to break character, just blame a fart on him.”

Rarity sighed.

“I see your childishness is present and accounted for this morning,” she said before turning her attention to Pinkie. “Honestly, Pinkie, how could you find somepony passing gas amusing?”

Pinkie ceased her laughing and rolled over to her haunches. “Don’t know, it just is.”

“Just think about it Rarity,” Keon said. “A fart is a gas that stinks, and it comes from your butt, plus it sounds like a trumpet…or flugelhorn I guess, if that’s not funny, I don’t know what is.”

“Putting it so elegantly has only managed to reinforce my thoughts of how offensive they are.”

“Offensive?” Keon argued. “Come on, they’re one of life’s simple pleasures that remind us that at least in some small way we’re all the same. I fart, you fart, Pinkie farts, even Celestia farts. Although, I’d imagine Celestia and Luna have perfected the art of clenching their cheeks, lest they let one slip at an important meeting.”

Rarity scrunched her nose and shook her head in disgust. “May we please cease this discussion on flatulence? That’s not what I’ve sought an audience with you for.”

Keon raised a brow while Pinkie stood back to her hooves in attention.

“Well shoot, we’re all ears!” Pinkie said.

“Actually, Pinkie, I was planning to have a private discussion with Keon about that thing we talked about. Remember, that thing?”

Pinkie squinted her eyes in thought before realization hit her and she nodded. “Oh, gotcha! I’ll just go over there,” she said before bouncing away towards Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

“So,” Keon started as he looked at Rarity with mild suspicion. “The last time we had a one-on-one it was about that card Zuri gave me, so now what’s on your mind? You never seemed to have any interest in picking my brain like Twilight.”

“Truth be told, there’s quite a lot I’d like to pick your brain about, mostly why you are the way you are; however, that can be saved for another time.”

“Hm, so it’s safe to assume this isn’t really about me then but something more general?”

“Yes, it’s really just some hypothetical musings I’ve been entertaining,”

“Well, if it’s nothing personal, ask Chris, he’s the smarter human, remember?” Keon said as he made to walk away.

Rarity positioned herself in front of Keon, impeding his path. “Actually, I need the open-minded human, not the smart one.”

“Fine,” Keon mumbled as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “So, what are these musings you’ve been having?”

“Remember to keep in mind this is all hypothetical; however, let’s say for whatever reasons a mare was interested in courting a… human. How exactly would she proceed in such an endeavor? What would be her approach? What are some things to do and not to do?

“That was about as subtle a gynecologist wearing a gas mask,” Keon jested, grinning at Rarity like an idiot. “You wouldn’t happen to be coming on to me?”

Rarity looked appalled. “What!? I…of course not, that’s absurd! How could you even entertain the thought? We’re anything but compatible, I’m a lady and you’re just so uncouth.”

“Jeez, you don’t pull your punches, do you?” Keon said with a faked sadness.

“I...I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Rarity squeaked out in a panicked tone. “I mean, you have your moments of being charming, however sporadic they may be.”

“Sporadic. Funny, I can’t recall doing anything charming since I’ve been here,” Keon said while stroking his chin hairs in thought. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve been downright unpleasant, just ask Nightmane.”

“You defended Pinkie's and my honor against Blueblood and even stayed outside of her door for an entire night, rather gallant of you,” Rarity pointed out.

“I guess under all that junk there’s a sliver of decency in me,” Keon decided. “But since this doesn’t involve you being head over hooves for me, haha, I made a funny, I’m guessing that Pinkie is that hypothetical mare you were talking about then?”

“Whoever said that?” Rarity asked, keeping her expression passive. “As I’ve stated before, this is merely a hypothetical question, which has nothing to do with you, I’m just curious. Our worlds could soon be meeting, and potential courting between our species is something that’s interesting to muse over.”

“Let me get this straight,” Keon said while holding out his hands to stop Rarity where she was.

“Out of all the things you could wonder about with the potential meeting of two worlds, your mind is on bipedal, alien primates getting it on with equally alien equines? I would have never guessed you had such a dirty mind.”

Rarity’s cheeks tinted pink.

“I…uh,” Rarity fumbled over her words. “It’s not like that. I was just, um… oh, for heaven’s sake, you can be so infuriating at times! It’s like trying to hold a conversation with a preschool aged colt.”

“Sorry, you ponies are just too easy,” Keon said with a laugh as he leaned back against the railing. “But fine, let’s get down to what this is really about.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Rarity, no need to dance around this, we aren’t in grade school. If you think I didn’t notice Pinkie’s little crush, you might believe I’m a bit dumber than I actually am. I know you’re the lovey-dovey type, so you’re trying to secretly play matchmaker, but I'd rather we be direct about this, besides you’re way too terrible at being subtle.”

Rarity stared for a moment before she relented with a sigh. “When did you become aware of her feelings towards you?”

“Somewhere around the reception party.”

“And…”

“And what?”

“What do you think?”

“I think Pinkie is co co for cocoa puffs in more ways than one, that’s what I think,” Keon answered.

“I beg your pardon, I thought we we’re being direct with each other,” Rarity said with small frown. “You’ll simply have to forgive me when I say I do not understand that cryptic lingo of yours.”

“Fine, here’s a hot dose of the truth, Rarity,” Keon said in a serious tone. “I think I’m about as open-minded as they come. Having said that, Pinkie is funny, nice, and just hella cool, in a dorky, pink pony kind of way. I’m not about to get into the whole, 'Oh my god, but she’s a horse!' discussion with you, because frankly I think that would be an insult to your species to say something like that, and honestly, I’m not even turned off by the fact that she has more facial hair than me. But regardless, I’ve got to keep my priorities straight and that’s finding a way out of Alice’s rabbit hole. I’m sure you can connect the dots for why getting involved with Pinkie in any kind of way isn’t something I need to be worried about. It’s just too low on my list of things that should matter right now.”

Rarity reared up to her hind legs and placed her forehooves on Keon’s chest and studied his face carefully. “You aren’t a changeling are you?”

“A what?”

“I just wasn’t expecting a mature response from you, or even a well thought out one,” Rarity said before she returned all four of her hooves firmly to the ground. “I’m impressed, if admittedly a little disappointed.”

“Disappointed?”

Rarity sighed.

“As you’ve said, I’m the lovey-dovey type. And you and Pinkie make such a, dare I say...”

“I’d rather you not say it,” Keon cut Rarity off. “I don’t want to hear that me and a pink pony make a cute couple.”

“Actually, I was going to say unique, l wouldn’t go as far as to say cute,” Rarity said with a satisfied grin. “Like you said, you’re a bipedal alien primate. You humans are not exactly hard on the eyes, but you won’t be winning any Mr. Stallion pageants either.”

“I think I can live with that,” Keon said while nodding. “Sorry I disappointed you and your weird thoughts of forbidden romance between me and Pinkie. As a matter of fact, I should probably nip all of this in the bud before it gets out of hand; she already tried to kill me with that cannon-wagon-surprise thing.”

“Please don’t resort to that just yet,” Rarity requested, enticing a raised brow from Keon.

“Pinkie just has such a delicate psyche,” she continued. “Even if you let her down gently, she’ll question what it is about her that you don’t find desirable, and that may lead to worse things than having false hope.”

Keon shrugged. “Your call, I’m sure you have what’s best for Pinkie in mind.”

“Of course I do, darling, she’s a dear friend after all,” Rarity said as she watched Keon nod before walking away.

‘As if I’d give up on love so easily,’ Rarity thought, sporting a small grin. ‘I’m not through with this matter, not by a long shot.’

Meanwhile

Chris and Twilight walked in silence down a flight of stairs. The sound of hooves and rubber soled shoes on stone echoing throughout the halls.

Chris looked around before settling his eyes on Twilight. She’d been acting strange since they began their trek to wherever she was leading him. He noticed she looked conflicted or nervous, maybe even sad. Even with facial expressions strikingly similar to humans, he really couldn’t tell for certain.

“So, I couldn’t help but notice me and you do a lot of corridor walking together…” Chris started out lamely.

Twilight had made no acknowledgment of having been addressed.

Chris smiled uneasily.

“You know I really hate awkward silence. I mean, what’s eating at you, Twilight? Normally you’d be picking my brain about my world right now. Usually something about it that’s completely trivial to me but fascinating to you.”

Twilight was hesitant to speak, afraid that her voice would crack if she did.

“We’re almost there,” she managed in a voice as quiet as Fluttershy’s.

‘Alright, now I’m getting kind of nervous,’ Chris thought before taking notice of the room coming up ahead. Spotting the broken door on the ground, he quirked a brow. “So, leading me to a basement room that looks like it had its doors recently torn from its hinges doesn’t exactly bode well.”

Twilight once again chose not to respond, but kept her attention focused on the door ahead of her as though it would disappear if she looked away from it.

Entering the room, Twilight found Velvet animatedly scribbling down notes in a book they’d been documenting the experiment in. She looked focused yet excited. Her previous erratic state had seemingly been lifted.

Lyra for her part was staring at the growth medium with a childlike fascination on her face, reminiscent of kid at an aquarium or zoo.

Chris stared around the room, taking in every detail. The room had to be the most cliché looking laboratory he’d ever seen. From the absurd amount of beakers to the oddly shaped test tubes that could have only served the purpose of letting people know that science was taking place here.

Chris's eyes then trailed off towards Lyra, who hadn’t even noticed his arrival, obviously too fixated with whatever she was staring at in the large container of viscous fluid.

The question of why she was even there he decided to put on the back burner in light of studying the container she was engrossed with. The key feature he noticed about it was four shimmering crystals underneath it. He guessed they were some type of power source.

“What is this?” Chris finally asked. “What have you been doing down here, Twilight?”

Lyra and Velvet’s ears both perked up at the sound of Chris’s voice, both of them turning to stare at the new arrival.

Lyra’s expression was something he couldn’t quite place as there seemed to be too many conflicted emotions swimming in her eyes. Velvet on the other hand simply looked resigned.

Twilight took a deep breath and released it.

“Where do we even begin?” she asked herself more than anyone else.

Chris pointed his index finger towards the growth medium, “We can start with, 'What is in that container?' Yeah, that’s probably a good place to start.”

Twilight bit her bottom lip nervously, struggling to find the proper words. ‘Why’d he have to ask that of all questions?!’

“It’s an embryo, a pony and human hybrid,” Velvet said in a professional manner after noticing that Twilight looked ready to bolt out of the lab. “Your hybrid embryo to be precise.”

Chris raised a brow in curiosity.

“An embryo,” he repeated to himself before realizing what Velvet had said after. His eyes then widened and his mouth hung open.

“You’re joshing me, no way, no freaking way,” he said in excitement as he all but ran over towards the growth medium and positioned his face inches from the glass.

“This is unreal.”

All three mares were thrown off by Chris’s response. Each had expected varying degrees of righteous fury from the human; none, however, expected excitement.

Twilight furrowed her brow in confusion. “Wait, aren't you angry? Surely, you should be angry.”

Chris looked over his shoulder towards Twilight.

“Why would I be angry?” he asked.

“I assumed you wanted to try some type of fertility and compatibility testing when you asked for sperm samples. Admittedly, I expected simple petri dish experiments, nothing on this level. But then again, I suppose us human and ponies would have different priorities.”

“Why is that?” Velvet asked.

Chris went back to staring into the container as he answered. “If the situation was reversed and a couple of you showed up on my planet then compatibly testing on our species would have been pretty low on the list of things to do.”

It was Lyra’s turn to ask, “Why would you ignore that possibility? Some ponies have breed with griffins and dragons, so why not humans?”

“They have? That’s news to me,” Chris said while trying to erase the image of a dragon and pony copulating from his mind. “And these hybrids, I take it that they’re sterile?”

“Hippogriffs and Kirin are rare, but they both are a fertile species,” Velvet answered.

“My god, human scientists are going to lose their minds if they ever get to this fantasy planet.”

Lyra tilted her head in slight confusion. “How come?”

“Because in my world most of what I’ve seen and none of what you’re telling me right now is a possibility… this,” Chris gestured towards the growth medium, “flies in the face of biology. It doesn’t follow the most basic of principals of our world, as a species we’re just too far removed from each other. In fact, I’m sure every biologist back on my world’s head just exploded. Hell, mine is close enough, and I at least have seen what magic is capable of.”

Chris turned to face Twilight, deciding she’d be the one with all the answers. “This embryo looks like it’s no less than seven weeks into development, how’s that even possible? You couldn’t have been doing this for any more than five days.”

“Seven weeks!” Twilight and Velvet shouted in unison.

Chris nodded. “Well, in human development, that’s where I’d place it.”

“Are you certain of that?” Velvet asked.

“Ma’am, zoology is just a branch of biology, this is what I know and do,” Chris reasoned. “And, from what I can tell, this embryo looks to be developing more similar to a human than a pony. Well, a pony from my world, I don’t know anything about Equestrian child development. But that still leaves me with the question of why it's this far along.”

Twilight and Velvet joined Chris and Lyra in front of the growth medium.

“…Well, that’s the problem,” Twilight began. “There were some complications last night. I wasn’t here to oversee the experiment considering I was resting up for our trip today and…”

“I overloaded the crystals, the power source for the growth medium,” Velvet cut in. “The sudden increase in magic may have acted as a growth stimulant on the developing cells of the embryo.”

“That so?” Chris said while nodding his head up and down in vague understanding.

Lyra narrowed her eyes. “Okay, that’s enough, why are you being so cool about this?”

Chris turned his head to face Lyra, who was looking at him with concern.

“It’s just an experiment,” Chris said bluntly. “I’m sure they plan on ending this soon enough, they’ve had to have gotten all their answers by now, actually probably more than they ever hoped to get, thanks to a screw up.”

Lyra took a step back from Chris, her eyes widening. “End? You mean,” Lyra looked towards the growth medium. “You’re actually okay with something like that? Just throwing it way?”

Chris sighed. “Where I morally stand on the matter is neither here nor there as a man that’s able to face the cold hard truths of apparently both our worlds, I know what needs to be done. And I assume Twilight and Velvet know as well, considering they’re the ones that signed up for this.”

Twilight cleared her throat and spoke nervously. “You’re right, when we first started this experiment we were ready to face the dirty deed we would have to commit, but it’s gone beyond that stage now, we can no longer end it. I’m sorry, but we have no choice but to see this through to the end.”

Chris was quiet for a moment as he let what Twilight had said sink in before finally speaking in a flat, quiet tone. “You can’t end it? Just what do you mean you can’t end it?”

Twilight turned her head and stared at the floor. “Chris, it’s too far along, you know as well as I do that the embryo has neurological and brain activity now and most importantly a heartbeat. We can’t do it. No, I won’t do it.”

“You know something, Twilight? Hybrid embryo testing isn’t uncharted waters for humans either. Although our experiments in those murky waters are to find cures and to further scientific understanding, not create lives, but we have rules set in place to keep everyone happy. By law, any human-animal hybrid embryo has to be destroyed within fourteen days.”

“This is a little more complicated than that,” Twilight argued. “We aren’t talking human and animal cell splicing: This is the fruit of two sapient, intelligent species.”

Chris chuckled to himself and shook his head in hysteria.

“You’ve got to be shitting me. After thinking you could play god, you now decide that morals and ethics have a place in your Frankenstein lab? You threw all of that out the window the moment you started a genetic experiment of this grade. You can’t back out now just because you realized you were in over your head.”

Twilight found herself struggling to find words at Chris’s response. He was speaking with an anger that sounded out of place coming from someone she’d come to know as very mildly tempered.

“I mean, where is Celestia and Luna in all this?” Chris said while looking around as if expecting to find the two Alicorns lurking in a corner. “Actually, that doesn’t even matter, if you don’t have the guts to end this I will,” he stated flatly.

Lyra threw herself between the growth medium and Chris and stared at him firmly.

“What are you doing, Lyra?” Chris said as he frowned down at her. “Do you understand what’s going on, and why we can’t let this go on any longer?”

“No! I’m not smart like you three, half the mumbo jumbo you say just go in one ear and out the other, but I don’t need to be smart to see that what you want to do is wrong.”

“Wrong?” Chris echoed, having to restrain himself from sarcastically laughing at the sentiment.

“You wanna know what’s wrong, fine I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Having a life brought into the world like this,” Chris said while pointing his hands at random things throughout the lab.

“This is a bastardization against nature, I’m tempted to quote Dr. Ian Malcolm here. Truthfully, I don’t fault Twilight for asking the question or even trying to answer it herself, but having my own flesh and blood grown to fruition in a tank is where I draw the line. How do you explain that to a child? How does that conversation go? 'Yes, son and/or daughter, you are the product of a human and pony that was grown in a fish tank full of viscous fluid in a lab somewhere on the basement level of Canterlot’s royal castle.' That’s all assuming this conversation even takes place. The embryo could very well fail on its own before it even reaches the fetus stage, or maybe we beat these untested odds but what we get isn’t what you expected.”

“Not what we expect?” Velvet repeated.

Chris nodded. “I meant what I said about the embryo appearing more human, but I didn’t mention the abnormality in its hip development.”

“Abnormality?” Twilight recited.

“It’s deformed, like there’s something attempting to grow there that shouldn’t be there. I’ve never seen anything like it,” Chris explained. “It’s still too underdeveloped, but whatever’s taking place will only become more prominent or problematic as it grows. I suppose that went over your head due to the lack of knowledge you have in human child development or the freaking out about this whole situation had something to do with it.”

Chris looked back up towards the container. “Why is this even up for discussion? My genetic material was used, I’m technically the father, so it’s rightfully my call and I say…”

“Your DNA wasn’t the only used here,” Twilight suddenly spoke up, countering Chris’s point.

Chris turned to face Twilight and raised a questioning brow. “True, it takes two to tango, but unless the anonymous mother shows up to combat me on this matter then…”

“She’s here, and I don’t agree with your decision,” Twilight said in a tone brimming with conviction while firmly planting her hooves into the ground as if preparing for the human to charge at her in rage at that very moment.

Chris was quiet as he looked from Twilight, to Lyra, and to Velvet in utter disbelief for the better half of a minute before finally walking towards a sink. Grabbing an empty beaker off a table on the way he filled it with water.

He wasn’t entirely sure how to process the new information. He didn’t reasonably believe he could fight them on the matter at hand, not with Twilight having as much or more likely more say than he had. Given that his only option would have been to involve the princesses and hope that they would rule in favor of aborting the embryo. He held no delusions that they would side with Twilight on the matter, considering that, judging from Twilight and Lyra's reactions, destroying the embryo at the stage they were in now would be viewed as cold-blooded murder and nothing more to them.

“You guys are just full of life alerting surprises today, aren’t you?” he said almost jokingly before taking a large gulp of the water and wiping the accumulating sweat from his brow.

“I mean, it wasn’t like this situation wasn’t convoluted enough, am I right? You just had to add the cherry on top of this shit sundae. Now you’re telling me I’m tethered to this world and…” Chris paused as he looked at Twilight. “And to you in ways I never wanted to be?”

Lyra couldn’t help but feel a small victory at Chris’s last statement to Twilight, despite the hurt look in Twilight’s eyes.

“Tell me, Twilight, have you picked out any names yet? Are you planning your baby shower too? I’m sure the other girls will rejoice to hear you’re expecting,” Chris said in obvious sarcasm before turning to Velvet.

“Hey, Velvet, or should I call you mom? I’m just dying to know, is this how you envisioned you would become a grandmother? Oh yeah, you wouldn’t happen to have kept Twilight’s old baby crib? I hear getting a new one is murder on the wallet…”

“That’s enough!” Velvet shouted, causing Chris to momentarily shut up. “I know you’re upset, and rightfully so, but if you’re going to berate us do not do it in such a demeaning manner, Celestia forbid this descends into petty name calling next.”

Chris grit his teeth, but felt Velvet made a decent point. At the rate he was going he was sure he’d be calling them names soon enough, and that wouldn’t help the situation.

Twilight’s ears flattened.

“I’m so sorry it turned out this way, I’ve just made so many mistakes,” she said with her head held low. “Even if you’ll never forgive me, I will make this right somehow, I promise.”

Chris frowned, not seeming to care much for how downtrodden or remorseful Twilight appeared.

“You want to know something interesting?” Chris continued his tirade, albeit more calmly, the red in his face was beginning to dissipate.

“Some people say the biggest arrogance of men is believing that nature is in our control, but I can tell you that whoever made that claim hasn’t met an Equestrian yet, because you guy’s take the whole damn cake.”

“I’m going back to the ship, in spite of all this we’ve still got a job to do,” Chris said while placing the now empty beaker down.

”As for making this right, don’t bother. You said I didn’t owe you anything for saving my life, but I pay my debts.”

Chris began to make his way towards the door.

“A life for a life right? You have my consent to do what you want with…” Chris paused as he looked at the container for a moment before continuing, “your science project, but in exchange for me turning a blind eye to this, consider us squared. There’s just one thing I want to know.”

“Anything,” Twilight quickly answered.

“If it wasn’t yours, would you be so firm in your stance against me?”

“Of course I would,” Twilight said without hesitation. “Even if I didn’t have a personal stake in this it wouldn’t change things from what they are now.”

“At least that makes one of us that isn’t only thinking about themselves.” With that, Chris exited the lab with not so much as a glance in their direction.

“Chris, wait!” Lyra shouted as she made to follow after him.

“Lyra, don’t,” Twilight advised her. “He clearly wants to be left alone, we can grant him that much.”

“Besides, I imagine there’s a lot he has to consider,” Velvet added.

“Consider?” Lyra repeated. “What’s there to consider? Didn’t he just leave everything in your hooves?”

“It’s not that easy for him,” Twilight answered.

“I know Chris well enough. Despite how he may feel about me, he’ll see it as his obligation to be involved in the… child’s development. That’s what angers him the most; he knows that even if he manages to find a way home that he won’t be able to simply leave things here as they are. That’s what he meant by being tethered to this world and…me in ways he never wanted to.”

“He has a good moral character,” Velvet said with a nod of her head. “He could have fought you harder on the matter, but he didn’t. I suppose there’s a piece of him that didn’t want to go through with it either. Had he brought this to Princess Celestia’s attention she would have sided with him in order to not strain relations with humans before they even truly begin. He would have to have realized that.”

“Princess Celestia would have sided with Chris, of that I don’t doubt, but Chris would have thought differently,” Twilight reasoned.

“Why so?” Velvet asked curiously. “He seems rather bright to me.”

“Because of his predicament,” Twilight explained. “He’s one of only two humans on our entire planet. Despite how everypony has made it clear that they are welcomed here, in the end he believes that he can only truly rely on himself and Keon in a world that isn’t their own, and I’m afraid that my recent actions won’t have done anything to dissuade him of that thought.”

Twilight sighed as she looked at the growth medium. “I don’t even know where to begin in making amends for this.”

“I think you do,” Velvet stated matter-of-factly. “But don’t tear yourself up over it; take some time to think over what needs to be done. In the mean time, focus on what you need to accomplish in Volare, at this moment that is your concern. I’d also suggest you keep this from your friends for the time being. It wouldn’t do any good for their minds to be concerned over this as yours and Chris’s are.”

Twilight nodded her head in simple agreement before her eyes widened, and she began to dance frantically back and forth on her hooves. “Oh no, we’re terribly off schedule now, I need to get back to the ship immediately or the others will start to worry.”

Twilight turned to face Velvet, her mouth opening before being interrupted.

“Before you ask, I’ll be fine overseeing this on my own until you get back,” Velvet stated before Twilight could get a word out. “Besides, I don’t think it’s possible for me to mess things up any more than I already have.”

“Better than that, I’ll be here to make sure everything stays a-OK,” Lyra added in.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Lyra,” Twilight said as she looked at her mother for support on the matter, which she didn’t get. “Besides don’t you still intend to, um…sneak aboard the airship?”

Lyra shook her head back and forth. “Nope, it wouldn’t be sneaking now that you know about it.”

“But what about Bon Bon?” Twilight pressed on. “I’m sure she’ll think…”

“That I went along with you guys,” Lyra finished Twilight’s statement.

“It’s alright, I could use the company,” Velvet assured Twilight, giving her a subtle wink. “It get’s rather lonely down here without you, and what harm could it really do to have her observe with me? She’s already privy to what’s going on.”

“You’re right, it couldn’t hurt,” Twilight said with a resigned sigh, having understood that Velvet simply wished to keep Lyra close to prevent her from spilling the beans about what was going on.

Celestia forbid such a scandal became public knowledge so soon. Twilight couldn’t even fathom the outrage of it. She realized they’d have to device some plan for damage control of the situation. Unfortunately, the only one that could pacify the general public was Chris and that was something she felt she didn’t have the right to ask of him.

“I’ll figure it out,” Twilight whispered to herself, “somehow.”

Author's Note

...Well there it is, now to find a bomb shelter.

Chapter 21: Long Time No See

Long time no see

Celestia and Luna stood waiting just at the bottom of the gangway of the airship in anticipation of Chris and Twilight’s return.

Celestia sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping slightly.

Luna raised a brow as she observed her sister. “I see this situation has you most troubled, dear sister.”

“I was hoping it wasn’t so obvious,” Celestia said with a nervous chuckle. “Despite the saying, ignorance is not bliss.”

“We aren’t truly benighted, as we can infer the situation at hoof,” Luna pointed out. “The experiment you signed off on was never meant for the eyes of anypony aside from Twilight and Mrs. Velvet. Not even we are aware of their findings, and still your student found it necessary to involve Mr. Chris.”

“Twilight obviously wouldn’t have done so if it weren’t for extenuating circumstances,” Celestia said, the wheels in her head turning fast, working hard to piece together an incomplete puzzle. “I can imagine a multitude of scenarios, but I keep returning to the same conclusion.”

“As do I,” Luna agreed. “Your student has refused to end the experiment for reasons she deems valid. It’s a shame that you agreed to the decision to remain incognizant of all this,” Luna said as she went to staring straight ahead.

Celestia shut her eyes in deep thought as she answered simply. “I’ve always had faith in my student and her decisions, I was certain she could be trusted with this.”

Luna gave a low, disproving snort.

“I know you trust Twilight. In my opinion you trusts her with a little too much. As talented as she is, you mustn’t forget that she’s still a young, inexperienced mare. This was too much responsibility and power to simply bestow upon her, or anypony for that matter. Mistakes can and mostly likely have already been made,” she finished.

Celestia found she couldn’t respond to Luna’s statement, she was only able to muster a crestfallen expression.

Luna looked at Celestia with slight remorse at having chewed out her sister before saying, “The faith you have in our subjects and their potential is something I have never found myself able to genuinely emulate. Perhaps that’s why you’ve always been looked at as Equestria’s one and only true leader.”

“Don’t say such things, Luna,” Celestia said a bit sharply. “My faith has lead me to make more than my share of questionable decisions. This may be one of the greatest of them all. A realist like yourself is much less likely to create a debacle where our subjects are concerned.”

“Equestria hadn’t fallen into disarray upon my thousand year furlough,” Luna stated offhandedly. “Clearly, your methods were sufficient enough for Equestria to prosper. I can only believe that a compassionate hoof is needed more than a firm one to guide a country.”

Luna finished speaking just as Chris approached the two alicorns that stood in his path, his pace sluggish.

Celestia studied him carefully as he drew closer. He appeared to be walking without actually looking where he was going. His head was cast low, allowing his sandy blonde hair to drape freely over his eyes, casting them in shadow.

Celestia and Luna shared a quick glance with one another.

“This doesn’t bode well…” Luna whispered.

“Mr. Chris,” Celestia asked carefully when he got close enough that she could see the puffiness under his eyes.

Chris stopped in his tracks just in front of his two hosts but didn’t look at or speak to them.

“Have you been…” Celestia paused, not sure how to ask the obvious but potentially sensitive question. “What troubles you?” she opted for instead.

“What troubles me?” Chris said before he looked up from the ground and at Celestia, a ghost of a smile on his face. “What troubles me? Absolutely nothing. Everything is just peachy.”

“I believe your sarcasm needs work, it’s not quite as natural as Mr. Keon’s,” Luna said with a slight smirk. “Now, I must insist you tell us the reason you’ve been excreting tears of emotion.”

“You insist, huh?” Chris chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “You two are something else, pretending like you haven’t the slightest idea of what could possibly have pissed me off. But maybe it’s just proper conduct to ask me anyway, on the off chance the reason I’m angry has nothing to do with the Dr. Wilder experiment currently taking place in your basement,” Chris spat out, struggling to keep his voice at a reasonable volume.

Celestia let out a heavy sigh as she looked at Luna. “I suppose trying to remain incognizant of this was a folly to begin with,” she stated. “Mr. Chris, tell me, what did Twilight show you? What exactly happened down there?”

“You really don’t know?” Chris asked, looking from Celestia to Luna.

Celestia nodded sagely. “I had agreed with Twilight and Mrs. Velvet that the crown should remain uninformed in case their experiment went astray. We’d be able to…”

“Save face in front of the world by shifting the blame onto our own subjects, who would have done this without our consent,” Luna finished for Celestia. “Not the most foolproof of plans.”

“Thank you for that callous delivery,” Celestia stated with slight agitation.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Chris said, only getting a calm look from Celestia at his response. “You know, that’s pretty cold and calculated coming from someone I was under the impression was completely benevolent.”

“You don’t sound perturbed by such information,” Luna noted.

“Hatching schemes isn’t anything new to me,” Chris said. “Everyone lies when it serves their own purpose, but it seems you ponies don’t really have the stomach for it. I didn’t have to do any coaxing at all for you to come clean with me. Or maybe it’s the control complex your species seems to have; being ignorant was probably just driving you mad.”

Luna’s head reeled back in surprise. “Excuse me, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just an observation from an outsider,” Chris duly noted as he brushed past Celestia and Luna. “If you want to know what’s going on, check for yourself. I’m not gonna reiterate it for you.”

“What would you have me do?” Celestia asked, prompting Chris to stop in his tracks. She didn’t turn around to face him as she continued. “Twilight’s requested conception experiment was not to last for more than four days. I can infer from her telling you about it that she has no intentions of ending it as planned. Am I wrong?”

Chris turned to face Celestia, only to find that she’d yet to turn to face him. Her body was rigid, firm, and upright.

“No, you’re not wrong.”

“Then I’ll ask once more,” Celestia went on in a flat, businesslike tone, “What would you have me do? If you wish me to overrule any decision regarding the continuation of said experiment you need only say so.”

Luna didn’t know what to think as she looked back and forth between Celestia and Chris.

“I don’t think you would say that if you knew the full story,” Chris said.

“I’ve told you once before that one should never assume, Mr. Chris,” Celestia stated.“I’ve been in a position of power for a very long time and have committed my share of misdeeds.”

Celestia finally turned to face Chris. Her stare was almost unnerving, and he could actually see, swimming in her eyes, the countless years of living she’d experienced. “It’s easy enough to read between the lines of what has happened here. All personal feelings aside, Twilight has not honored the proposal she presented to me, in which case I cannot justly rule in her favor against you.”

Chris didn’t take long to respond. “Thanks, but no thanks,” he said. “I’ve already made a deal with Twilight of my own, and I’m not the type of man to go back on my word.”

Celestia held back a sigh of relief to uphold a look of professionalism. Having the conviction to commit to a hard decision wouldn’t have made her feel any less ill from following through if Chris had requested it.

Chris turned his body to face the awaiting ship.

“If I may?” Celestia asked before Chris could walk up the gangway.

Chris hadn’t moved from his spot, which was enough assurance for Celestia to ask her question.

“If you don’t mind my asking, where do we all stand after this?”

“If you’re concerned about this hampering our goal then you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Chris assured Celestia. “Trust me, getting this job done means a lot more to me than it does to you.”

Celestia shook her head. “That’s not what I’m referring too.”

“Then I couldn’t tell you,” Chris admitted. “I know I don’t hate any of you, not even Twilight if that’s what you’re asking, but my mind is just too messed up right now to decide where we now stand. Maybe after I get some time to myself to sort this all out I’ll be able to get back to you on that.”

With that Chris began to walk up the gangway but stopped once more.

“Celestia,” he said, prompting her ears to swivel in his direction. He paused for a moment as if not sure of how to articulate what it was that he wanted to say. “Velvet’s smart, but I think this is something much more than one individual can be expected to handle. If it’s not too much to ask, I think you should consider getting some…well-versed help for her, specifically in mammalogy, biochemistry, and developmental biology, to help out while Twilight’s away. If this is going to happen we may as well hope for a…healthy baby at the very least. ”

Celestia smiled. “Of course, Chris.”

Chris simply nodded his thanks, walked up the gangway and boarded the airship.

“Isn’t that so adorable?”

Celestia looked down to find a cockroach with the face of Discord crawling up her golden breastplate, the largest grin on his face.

“For all his feigned detachment, that boy can’t help but a have a little soft spot for his and Twilight’s little abomination. Oh, it just makes me want to weep tears of joy.”

“Discord,” Celestia muttered. “How did you find…”

“Oh, I may have been a fly on the wall,” he said as he literally took the form of a fly and began to buzz around Celestia in an annoying manner, prompting her to swat at him irritably. “I must say, watching mother and daughter play mad scientist for the past few days has been a hoot. I’m surprised they haven’t found all the popcorn kernels I left behind. Then the fallout, oh, if you could have only seen Chris’s face, absolutely priceless.”

"I will never understand how one can delight in another's strife as you do," Luna hissed. It's despicable.

“Lu Lu, just as you were once the darkness that wished to shroud the world in eternal night, I was the wind that once turned the windmill of chaos,” he stated. “But now that I’m reformed, I find my entertainment in watching chaos that I myself didn’t have to create. Besides, where have you ever gotten trying to understand me?”

“It was a figure of speech,” Luna said with a roll of her eyes. “Understanding you has never been a real concern of mine.”

“Yes, isn’t it so much simpler to just hate someone rather than trying to understand them?” Discord said with a greasy smile. “Or sealing them away in stone, nothing is quite as simple as that.”

“Are you looking for an apology?” Luna asked.“Is that why you constantly annoy us?”

“An apology?” Discord echoed before he retook his normal, tall, mismatched form and chummily threw an arm around Luna’s neck.

“Why would I want something like that when I know I was a bad, bad draconequus in the past? As for annoying you,” Discord placed a clawed hand under his bearded chin, “well, that’s subjective: I thought I was being genuinely entertaining.”

Luna shook Discord's arm off her neck. “Well, you aren’t,” she huffed.

“Touchy,” Discord said as he held up his paw and claw in a defenseless manner.

“Discord,” Celestia said as she narrowed her eyes at him. “I know you’re all for fun and games, however, this isn’t the time for them. If you have legitimate business that needs our attention then speak of it.”

“Oh, it’s not that grand or anything, I just thought I would tell you personally that I’ve decided to take a little vacation, so if you need my servi…”

“Vacation,” Luna cut him off, a condescending smile on her face. “Vacation from what? You do little more than lounge around as…mmmph!”

Luna found that her mouth had literally been zipped shut by Discord.

“That’s better,” Discord said while grinning at Luna, who looked absolutely furious.

“A vacation to where exactly?” Celestia asked curiously, choosing to calmly ignore her fuming sister for the moment.

“Ah, you know, a little here, a little there.”

“No shenanigans,” Celestia warned. “We’re on thin ice as it is, please do not tempt fate.”

Discord rolled his eyes and folded his arms together. “I merely said I was taking a vacation, and that really is all there is to it. I have no nefarious plans, I’m reformed after…YOUCH!”

Luna had stepped on Discords foot and then angrily started pointing a hoof at her zipped muzzle.

“And here I thought the look suited you so well,” Discord said as he reluctantly snapped his claws together, causing the zipper on Luna’s muzzle to disappear.

“I’m no toy, Discord,” Luna growled through gritted teeth. “Don’t treat me as such, or next time I’ll leave you with more than a throbbing toe.”

“Sheesh, so violent,” Discord said as he looked down at his swollen reptilian toe before he suddenly burped, and a white ball of fur was expunged from his mouth, landing in his open palm. A furious looking Angel bunny stared back at him.

Celestia and Luna stared in confusion at the scene they’d just witnessed.

Discord merely shrugged.

“Can’t be helped, I promised dear Fluttershy I’d look after the little rodent while she’s away. But anyway, I sought you out to inform you of my leave, and now that I have, I bid you adieu.” Discord gave a curt bow before he threw a smoke bomb.

Celestia and Luna choked a bit from the resulting cloud of smoke. Once it cleared, they both glared at Discord who was still standing there, looking confused.

Discord scratched his head. “That’s weird: I thought I would just disappear after throwing it.” He shrugged. “I’ll have to find that showmare and get her to tell me the trick to it,” he said before disappearing in a flash of light.

Luna stomped her hoof in frustration. “He’s such an insufferable buffoon.”

“Think what you will of him, but one cannot deny that Discord is a great asset to Equestria.”

“So long as he can behave himself,” Luna argued. “Clearly he’s up to something.”

“Perhaps,” Celestia agreed. “However, Discord having his own agenda isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself.”

Luna shook her head. “Having faith in our subjects is one thing, but Discord? I trust him as far as I can throw him, and if you haven’t noticed, he looks pretty heavy.”

“In time I believe you’ll come to trust him, but speaking of agendas,” Celestia went on, “I have a request I’d like to ask of you.”

Luna tilted her head slightly and raised a brow. “What kind of request?”

“I’ve scheduled a visit with an old friend. I ask that you see them in my place. I believe their services will prove most useful in the near future,” Celestia explained.

“If they’re an old friend of yours, shouldn’t you be the pony to visit them?” Luna asked.

“If only I could, however, it’s quite a journey and my sudden disappearance from Canterlot would be…”

“Much more noticeable than my own,” Luna said as she cast her head low.

Celestia looked at Luna with sympathetic eyes. “I’m so sorry Luna, I didn’t wish to…”

“It's fine,” Luna cut her off. “I’ve been something of a recluse in the eyes of the public since my return. I know as well as you do that if I vanished for a day or so it will likely go completely unnoticed by everypony.”

“Not everypony,” Celestia said as she lowered her head to nuzzle Luna’s neck. “Every minute you’re away I’ll know.”

“Thank you, sister,” Luna said while returning the gesture.

“Um…Princess Celestia, Princess Luna?”

Celestia looked up from her embrace with Luna at the sound of Twilight’s voice. She quickly noticed the contrast between Twilight and Chris. Unlike Chris’s emotionally distraught demeanor, Twilight simply looked troubled, as if she couldn’t figure out the answer to a hard math question.

Twilight’s ears flattened, and she bowed her head slightly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s quite alright,” Celestia assured her with a warm smile. “Besides, we’re in quite a bit of trouble it seems.”

“So, you’ve already talked to Chris then?” Twilight said as she looked up at Celestia in shame. “I’m so sorry, Princess, I never wished for this to happen. It’s just that everything got out of hoof so fast.”

Celestia walked up to Twilight and placed a wing over her back. In that moment she was reminded that in some ways Twilight really was just a child. “Twilight, if anypony should be sorry it’s me,” she insisted, prompting Twilight to look at her in confusion. “I suppose my curiosity was more insistent than yours, and I made a rash decision to have it sated.”

Twilight shook her head in defiance. “But I’m the pony that suggested this in the first place, if I hadn’t…”

“Regardless if you suggested it or not, I’m the pony that granted you permission…”

Luna coughed in her hoof, interrupting both Celestia and Twilight.“Let’s just agree that it’s both of your faults and proceed from there.”

“I believe Luna is right,” Celestia said. “Choosing to beat ourselves up over this won’t change what’s happened.”

“By the way, what exactly did happen?” Luna asked. “We’re still somewhat in the dark about what’s truly going on.”

Twilight looked towards Luna in slight bewilderment. “But I thought you spoke with Chris.”

“We did, we know that you’ve chosen to continue the experiment to full term, however, we weren’t given any details as to why,” Celestia explained. “Chris wasn’t in the best mood for talking.”

Twilight’s ears splayed across her head once again, and she made the best attempt to appear smaller than she was. “I could see why he wouldn’t be. He probably hates me after I...”

Celestia stared at Twilight sympathetically for a moment before something dawned on her. Recalling that Discord had referred to the experiment as Chris and Twilight’s little abomination, her eyes widened in shock.

Celestia pulled Twilight closer with her wing and nuzzled her affectionately. “Oh no, Twilight, why did I allow this to happen? I’m a terrible mentor, how could I not have had enough foresight to have prevented this?”

“Allowed what to happen?” Luna asked curiously. “I thought we’ve already established you’re both at fault.”

Celestia looked up at Luna with teary eyes. “Twilight, she’s well…she’s the, um…”

“I’m the mother,” Twilight stated bluntly, finishing what Celestia couldn’t.

Luna was speechless. Her mouth was silently opening and closing like a fish out of water. She truly didn’t know how to respond. In normal circumstances, congratulatory praise would be in order, but this wasn’t a normal circumstance, far from it in fact.

“Well…that explains a lot,” Luna said with an unsure grin. “How did this come about?”

Twilight sighed deeply. “It’s a long story and I’m rather pressed for time. But my mom will be more than happy to explain everything to you, if you’re now willing to hear it.”

“Twilight,” Celestia said, “if you feel your place is here then…”

“No,” Twilight quickly said. “Succeeding in this task is the one way I can earn Chris’s forgiveness, and possibly his friendship again. I can’t abandon any of my friends now. Besides, I’m sure our foal will be in good hooves until I get back. So long as no more surprises happen everything will be fine, knock on wood.”

“Of course it will be, we’ll make sure of it,” Celestia assured Twilight. “Besides, Mr. Chris has already given us a push in the right direction by suggesting we bring aboard the appropriate staff to assist Mrs. Velvet.”

Twilight ears perked up with that information. “He really did that?”

Celestia nodded. “Don’t feel that all is lost, Twilight. Friendships only stay broken when there is no effort to mend them.”

Twilight smiled. “You’re right princess, and I’ve a lot of fixing to do, and I won’t let you down.”

With that, Twilight gave a small bow and started to walk up the gangway.

“Good luck, my faithful student,” Celestia whispered.

“Sister, I’ve been thinking, couldn’t we use Twilight’s personal involvement in this to our advantage?” Luna asked Celestia as they watched Twilight board the ship. “I mean, there would be no need to pacify the other nations if they believed that there was mutual consent between Chris and Twilight, resulting in our little problem.”

“We will do no such thing,” Celestia stated. “I’ve gotten my hooves dirty enough; I refuse to add any more filth. Our best course of action here would be to simply let things unfold on their own.”

Luna shrugged indifferently. “Just weighing our options is all. But, as you were saying about this old friend, where and when am I to meet them?”

Celestia’s horn began to shimmer gold before a light pop emitted, and a rolled scroll slowly floated down between the two alicorns.

Luna caught the scroll with one silver-shod hoof.

“Where you’re to meet and what you are to propose is all in there,” Celestia said, nodding towards the scroll.

Luna unraveled the scroll and began to skim its contents.

“So, our meeting place is in the Cave of Wonders? That’s in the Griffin Republic, just outside Volare,” Luna noted before she stared up at Celestia in shock. “This old friend of yours is an actual changeling?” she asked with wide eyes, clearly surprised, but continuing to read.

“I see, so that’s the plan,” Luna said as she rolled up the scroll and slid it between her breastplate. “You know, sister, you’re a lot more cunning than even I give you credit for at times.”

“This is the most I can do for them outside of my jurisdiction,” Celestia reasoned. “After which they’ll be completely on their own.”

Meanwhile

Keon was sitting defiantly in front of the door that lead below deck.“Listen, Applesauce, it’s adorable that you want to find out what’s wrong with him, but I’m not letting you down there.”

“For starters, don’t go callin' me Applesauce, that’s mah cousin,” Applejack said as she put her face nearly nose to nose with Keon. “Now, Chris is obviously upset about somethin', so it’s our job as his friends to find out what that somethin' is. Ah mean, ya saw him right? ”

“Yeah, I saw him,” Keon answered. “And I’ll tell you I haven’t seen Chris that pissed off since his mom and dad went into divorce court. This is one thing you’ve got to trust me on, when he’s steamed like that, you leave him be, end of story.”

“But he seemed more sad than angry,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“All the more reason to leave him alone,” Keon reasoned. “He’s one of those, 'let me sort it out on my own' type of dudes.”

“I just hate to see anypony hurt like that,” Fluttershy whispered, too low for Keon to hear.

Applejack gritted her teeth but stepped back. “Fine,” she huffed in defeat. “Yah've known 'im a mite longer than we have.”

“Good,” Keon said before grabbing a hand full of Pinkie’s tail, halting her from trying to sneak away. “I don’t think so, Pinkie. You’re staying right here with your good friend Keon. If I don’t keep an eye on you, you’ll find another way down there and Chris definitely isn’t in the mood to handle you right now.”

Pinkie puffed out her cheeks and folded her forelegs over one another. “But I’m the best pony at cheering other ponies up. I’ll have Chris smiling in ten seconds flat!”

“Hey, don’t steal my catch phrases, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said with a frown as she pointed a hoof at Keon. “And you’re sure it’s best to just leave him be?”

“Yeah, I’m sure: He’s my boy after all. Besides, he has an inability to stay mad at anything for long. He’ll bounce back faster than you think, he’s weird like that.”

“It’s all rather curious,” Rarity interjected thoughtfully. “Twilight disappears with her mother then reappears and request to have a private audience with Chris and then…well, we all saw the state he was in.”

Keon leaned back against the door and looked up at the wind sails, submerged in contemplation. “Whatever Twilight talked to him about must have been some deep shit.”

Pinkie’s head nodded up and down enthusiastically. “Yeah, like what’s better for cake decorating, icing or marzipan? If you ask me…”

Rainbow Dash groaned and dragged her hooves down her face. “It’s nothing like that, Pinkie.”

Pinkie tilted her head a full ninety degrees. “Really? That debate always seems to get Mr. and Mrs. Cake mad at each other.”

“Sweetie, Twilight and Chris aren’t exactly cake makers,” Rarity reasoned. “Far from it actually.”

“They’re a couple of eggheads,” Rainbow Dash said. “So, it’s probably about some sciencey stuff that would just put us to sleep.”

“You could always just ask Twilight,” Keon said as he pointed a finger past Rainbow Dash towards Twilight who had just stepped on board and was talking with Captain Z. “If they did have an argument over something I’d guess she was on the winning side of it.”

“Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted while waving a hoof excitedly. “Do you know why Chris is upset? Did you guys have an argument over icing and marzipan!?”

Twilight looked up from her conversation with Z at Pinkie’s insistence. She exchanged a few more words with him, before she trotted over towards her friends.

“The captain says we’re due for takeoff in five minutes,” Twilight said as she stopped in front of the group.

Rainbow Dash wasted no time in getting up in Twilight’s face. “While that’s all fine and dandy, I think everypony here just wants to know what happened between you and Chris.”

“Yes, darling, and please don’t omit the details,” Rarity added, wearing a large grin, clearly eager to hear some good gossip.

Twilight grinned uneasily as she rubbed the back of her mane nervously. “Well…um actually, it was something you girls would find little interest in. In short, we had differing viewpoints on a certain biology matter, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“So, it wasn’t about icing versus marzipan then?” Pinkie inquired.

Twilight shook her head.

“I’m afraid not, Pinkie Pie,” she said as she looked at Keon, who was staring calmly back at her but not saying anything.

“Well, if it’s jus' a disagreement about smart folk stuff between the two of yah, Ah suppose there’s nothin' for us to get our manes knotted over,” Applejack said.

“I knew it was just some egghead babble,” Dash said as she backed away from Twilight, no longer interested in the situation. “Think I’m gonna go up to the crow’s nest for take off, anypony want to come with?”

Applejack shrugged indifferently. “Sure, why not?”

“You betcha!” Pinkie said as she hopped up to all fours. “Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it’s off to Volare we go!”

Rarity studied Twilight carefully for a moment before walking past her without saying anything.

“Wow, not only do you ponies suck at lying, you’re just as bad at spotting them too,” Keon said the moment he was sure the other ponies were out of earshot. “But I guess in the scheme of things that sort of evens it out. I mean, none of them could tell you spoon fed them some obvious BS.”

“Rarity has her suspicions even though I was more or less telling the truth,” Twilight reasoned. “My and Chris’s disagreement did stem from a matter of biology, I just chose to keep the extremities of it to myself. The other girls aren’t ready to hear this…”

“And neither am I,” Keon stated, cutting Twilight off.

“But your friend needs you more than ever now,” she argued. “Right now you have to be his pillar…”

“Listen, Twilight. Chris is a big boy; he’ll deal with whatever’s thrown his way. He doesn’t need me to come and hold his hand. Besides, I’ve got my own problems, and I don’t care to have anyone else’s thrown on top of them. If there’s a rift between the two of you it’s not my place to fix it, that’s on you guys.”

Twilight cast her head low. “I’m afraid Chris probably won’t be willing to speak with me for a while.”

Keon placed his hand atop of Twilight’s head and scratched her mane. “Cheer up, sister. Like I’ve told the others, Chris doesn’t know how to hold a grudge. Believe me, I’ve gotten into some pretty heated arguments with him and we’re just fine.”

Twilight’s ears folded, and she cast her head lower. “None like this, I’m sure,” she muttered solemnly.

Keon sighed in defeat. “Fine, I get it, I’ll talk to him. Just stop looking so damn sad will you? I swear you ponies have guilt tripping down to a science.” Keon grumbled as he opened the door behind him and entered, shutting it afterwards.

“Twilight?”

Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of her name being called from a very short distance away.

“F-Fluttershy?” Twilight stammered upon seeing Fluttershy standing just off to the side of her. “How long have you been there?”

“I never left,” Fluttershy answered simply.

‘Horse apples!’ Twilight mentally cursed. “So, you heard all of that then?”

Fluttershy nodded. “What’s going on Twilight? It’s unlike you to lie to your friends.”

“You’ll just have to trust me, it’s best for everypony this way,” Twilight tried to reason. “I’ll tell everypony in due time, just not now.”

Fluttershy shook her head in defiance. “That only makes me more concerned for you and Chris. We’re all friends here, why should we keep secretes? Especially if those secretes are causing both of you grief?”

Twilight bit her bottom lip, she always found that Fluttershy was the hardest among her friends to skirt around an issue with. Fluttershy reached up and put a hoof on her shoulder.

“If you believe that Chris is in need of stability from a friend right now then I think you do too,” Fluttershy said. “At the very least you can talk to me. Nothing good ever came from you trying to go at something alone.”

‘Keon was right, we ponies do have guilt tripping down to a science.’ Twilight thought as she took a deep, calming breath.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she asked. “I think after I tell you, you’ll understand why I wanted to keep this from you girls for now. Come with me, we’ll find a private place to talk.”

Meanwhile

“Finally I found you,” Keon said as he entered a room to find Chris on the ground performing pushups.

“This is the sixth room I had to check, leave it to you to choose the room at the end of the freaking… Oh damn, you bustin' out the spartan pushups? Twilight must have really pissed you off,” Keon concluded as he sat at the foot of one of two beds in the room.

Chris didn’t pause in his workout as he spoke between grunts. “So, which one of them convinced you to come and talk to me?”

Before Keon could speak, a voice resounded from a small speaker placed in the corner of the ceiling.

“Good afternoon, I mean morning, ladies and gentlecolts,” Z’s voice reverberated through the room. “This is your captain, Z, speaking. Welcome aboard Air Solstice, bound for Volare of the Griffin Republic. We’re looking at about a twelve hour flight time today. We’ve got clear skies and good visibility. The temperature in Volare is a brisk thirty five degrees, so to our furless passengers, do bundle up as it’s going to get quite chilly. Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff.”

“I don’t remember any flight attendants,” Keon said as she shook his head, deciding to dismiss the last bit of information.“Anyway, it was Twilight that talked me into coming to see you,” Keon answered. “She wants an ETA on your forgiveness.”

“Does she now?”

“Well, she would if she hadn’t convinced herself that you’ll never forgive her,” Keon said. “Even though I told her you’re too soft to stay mad at anyone, probably especially so for brightly colored furballs like them.”

Chris stopped performing pushups and sat on his rear, his back against the foot of the bed, sweat pouring from his brow. “Honestly, I don’t even know if what I’m feeling towards her is even anger.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, have you ever had so many emotions flooding you at once that they sort of just blend into something you can’t make sense of?” Chris asked.

Keon simply stared at Chris in silence for a moment before saying. “No, no, I can’t say I have. I work on pretty simple emotions. Happy, sad, mad, that’s it.”

Chris shook his head. “Will you stop trying to act like you’re so simple? Just being human means you’re made of more than that.”

“Whatever,” Keon responded as he leaned back in the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I didn’t come here to talk about me.”

“What did you come to talk about?”

“You tell me,” Keon said. “I’m just here to lend an ear and help, I guess. So, what’s eating you?”

“No offense but I think you’re the last person I want help from in regards to this,” Chris said bluntly. “It’s not quite up your alley of expertise.”

“Fine,” Keon said as though he really didn’t care one way or the other. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s cool with me.” Keon did a kick up from the bed and stood on his feet. “Twilight can’t get mad at me since I at least tried. I know you like to sort things out on your own, but maybe, just maybe that’s not always the best thing. Either way, you know I’m here if you need me.”

“Careful, your sensitive side is showing,” Chris said with a small smirk.

Keon promptly held up a middle finger to Chris. “Well, I’ll be damned, my sensitive side is showing.”

Chris couldn’t help but laugh in spite of himself. “I take that back, you’re the same ole dick you’ve always been.”

“I think I've toned it down at bit since I’ve been here.” Keon laughed. “Hell, maybe our world should send inmates here for rehabilitation. I bet these ponies would have those guys holding hands, singing songs, and brushing each other’s hair in no time.”

Chris looked solemnly at Keon, his brief laughter proving to be a mere passing reprieve. “Have you even given it thought that we could just fail, that we could be stuck here, that we’ll never see home again?”

Keon sighed as he stared down at Chris. “Every damn day,” he admitted. “It’s scary to think about, and I try my hardest not too.”

“Well, let’s say for a minute that you can’t actually go home, at least not soon, what would you do?” Chris pried further.

Keon placed his thumb under his chin as he thought about it. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Try to take over the world I guess.”

“I’m being serious,” Chris groaned. “No bullshit, what would you do?”

Keon silently looked over at Chris, taking note of his almost pleading eyes, a look he’d never seen on his friend.

“Chris,” Keon started out slowly, “what the hell happened? It isn’t like you be so…uh…well, like this.”

“I’m stuck,” Chris said as he buried his face in his hands. “At least for longer than I wanted to be.”

“I don’t get what you’re saying. What do you mean stuck?” Keon asked. “We’ll find one of these EONs, and I’ll wrap my hands around its throat like Homer Simpson until it gets the point that we want out.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chris reasoned. “A portal back home could open up right now in front of us, and I couldn’t step through it.”

“As if you couldn’t,” Keon argued. “I’d dropkick you through the damn thing if I had too. We’ve got people to get back to, our families to get back to.”

“I know that as well as you do,” Chris said as he looked up from his hands, his eyes glossy. “Even if I didn’t ask for it, I’ve got an obligation to this place now.”

Keon took a step forward and frowned down at Chris. “We’ve been here for two weeks, how in the hell can you have any obligations to this place?” Keon suddenly turned his head towards the door with a fierce glare. “I know, it's Twilight, isn’t it?” Keon demanded as he made his way for the door. “I’ll set her straight…”

“It’s not Twilight,” Chris called before Keon could leave, getting him to stop in his tracks. “At least not in the way you think.”

Keon once again turned to stare at Chris, “Enough beating around the bush, what’s going on?”

Chris took a deep breath. “This is going to sound crazy…”

“Crazy,” Keon interrupted Chris. “Considering where we’ve been vacationing, I don’t think anything can sound that far out anymore.”

“Trust me, this will.”

“Now you’re starting to scare me.”

Griffin Republic Volare

Three griffins sat together at a local dinner.

“Hey, Gilda! Hey, Gilda! Today’s the day!” Ivory chirped in a chipper tone. “Can you believe it? In just a few hours we’ll be chatting, and eating, and doing stuff with aliens!?”

Gilda gritted her beak in irritation.“You’ve only reminded us like ten times already!”

“I can’t help it,” Ivory squealed. “I’m just so excited!”

“And you’ve had that same response each time,” Ebony noted while lazily taking a swig of her coffee. “Honestly, how can anyone have so much energy this early in the morning and before they’ve even eaten?”

“I ate breakfast last night, so that way I’ve already gotten it out of the way,” Ivory reasoned. “So I’m full of energy!”

“It doesn’t work that way you ditz,” Gilda argued.

“Don’t get mad because I’m ahead of the curve.”

“You’re ahead of the curve alright,” Gilda grumbled with a roll of her eyes.

“Anyway,” Ebony cut in while putting her face a mere inch from Gilda’s own. “How are you feeling? It’s only a matter of hours until you’re reunited with your old chum, and I guess nemesis.”

“Personal space, have you heard of it?!” Gilda screeched as she shoved Ebony’s face away from her own. “I don’t want to smell your coffee breath.”

“I never understood the concept of personal space,” Ebony said as she picked up her newspaper, “and you never answered my question.”

“My feelings are my own business.”

Ebony sighed. “When did you become such a shut-in?”

Gilda narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean by that?”

Ebony continued to skim her newspaper as she talked. “I mean, you’ve become so absorbed in your own self-image that you won’t allow anything in that could tarnish that perception of cool you’ve created, AKA the outside world.”

“What?”

“She means you’re stuck up,” Ivory put it plainly.

Gilda slammed her clawed fist on the table. “I’m not stuck up!”

Ivory simply smiled, unfazed by Gilda’s outburst. “Well, you weren’t when we were cubs, but you kind of are now.”

Ebony flipped a page in her newspaper. “Leave it to Ivory to tell it to you straight.”

Gilda gritted her beak and folded her arms over her chest as she lay back in her seat. “What do you two know anyway?”

“Admittedly, nothing,” Ebony responded. “Considering you’re a shut-in an' all.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“When you stop being one I’ll stop calling you one,” Ebony responded nonchalantly. “How’s that sound?”

“How’s a knuckle sandwich sound?”

“Pfft, haha,” Ebony laughed. “Are you for real, a knuckle sandwich? That’s so lame.”

Gilda’s cheeks tinted slightly pink in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. “You know what? I’m out of here,” she said as she stood up from their table. “Don’t know why I decided to have breakfast with you two clowns anyway.”

“But Gilda,” Ivory tried. However, Gilda simply ignored her as she brushed past and stormed out the dinner.

Ivory frowned at Ebony. “Why’d you have to go and make her mad like that?”

“I was helping her,” Ebony said with a shrug. “If you didn’t notice, Gilda was on a short fuse as it was this morning. May as well light it, let her explode, and get it out of her system before she has to meet with her old pals. By the way, you’re picking up her tab.”

“What! Why me?” Ivory argued.

“Because…hold that thought, I need to use the little hens’ room,” Ebony said as she got up from the table as well and started walking away. “I’ll be right back.”

“But, but,” Ivory mouthed as something dawned on her and her head hit the table. “She’s not coming back.”

Air Solstice

“All hooves on deck, or hands in the case of the two humans aboard!” Z’s voice rang out all over the airship.

“I don’t think the skipper understands that idiom,” Keon commented.

“We’ll be arriving to Volare in fifteen minutes!” Z continued over the intercom. “But it looks like we’ve already got a welcoming committee,” he added. “Caution advised.”

Keon looked over towards Chris and stared at his still sullen friend.

“Well, you heard the skipper, let’s go see this welcoming committee,” Keon said as he leaned over the side of his bed.

Chris didn’t budge.

“Come on, dude, you’ve been shut in this room for the whole damn ride. I don’t think the girls are going to buy it that you’re still sleeping.” he said as he whipped a pillow across the room at Chris.

Chris didn’t even acknowledge the pillow that had whizzed just past his face, only choosing to roll over on his side.

“You know I’m not going on deck if we’re still in the air,” he grumbled out, his back turned to Keon.

“Right in the midst of all this I forgot that you’re still a baby about heights,” Keon said as he got up to his feet. “Sitting here sulking isn’t going to change anything: That ship sailed with Celestia’s offer when you shot it down.”

“That’s easy for you say. What’s the hardest choice you’ve had to make since we got here?” Chris responded.

Keon stared at Chris for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling something out and tossing it at Chris, hitting him in the back. “Denying that was the hardest decision I’ve had to make,” he said before he walked out the room.

After the door shut, Chris reached around his side to grab what it was that Keon had thrown.

“What’s this?” he asked himself as he studied the card in his hand.

Meanwhile

“Eeeep!” Fluttershy squealed as a sharp pain struck her tail.

Keon quickly removed his foot from the delicate appendage. “I’m sorry, Sunshine. I didn’t see you,” Keon said as he looked down at the source of the squeal. “What were you doing curled up on the ground outside our room?”

Fluttershy sat on her haunches as she nursed her tail. “I…well, I was concerned about Chris,” she answered softly. “But I didn’t want to intrude either.”

“I see,” Keon said as he sat on his own rear in front of Fluttershy. “I thought I told Pinkie to tell you guys he’s just drained and needed some sleep, you don’t need to worry.”

Fluttershy looked at Keon with a determined expression, prompting him to turn his head from her large accusing eyes. “I know about what’s going on,” she stated quietly. “That Chris and Twilight are expecting.”

“Expecting? I think it’s a bit different than that.”

“But it really shouldn’t be…um, at least that’s what I believe,” Fluttershy said. “The birth of a baby, regardless of how it happens, is a gift that should be cherished, not condemned. To not be loved by one’s parents would just be awful and something I couldn’t bear to see happen.”

Keon was quiet for a moment before he chuckled lightly. “You know, I was told you were supposed to be the bearer of niceness…”

“Kindness,” Fluttershy corrected, “but I suppose niceness works too...um, if that’s what you prefer.”

“Tomato, tomahto, either way I can see why you got that title,” Keon said as he stood up. “I’m going to go atop deck. If you have some words for Chris I won’t stop you. I think if there’s anyone here that can give him a good kick in the ass right now it’s probably you.”

With that Keon took his leave, leaving Fluttershy alone outside of Chris’s door, looking bewildered.

Meanwhile, the six guards that had been stationed on the Air Solstice stood at attention as three leather-armored griffins landed on the deck of their ship.

Captain Z wasted no time in coming to greet them.

“What’s the meaning of this?” he asked while staring down the three griffins, eying their crossbows warily. “We aren’t due for Volare’s port for another fifteen minutes. Why are you here?”

“We are aware of that, we merely came to escort you in,” The apparent leader of the griffins spoke, a female to be sure. “This airspace is known for its bandits that love nothing more than to maraud fancy looking ships like this one.”

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to decline the offer,” Z responded. “As we weren’t informed of your arrival, we can’t very well just allow you to board our ship.”

“How very cautious of you,” she continued as she used a talon to tap on her crossbow absentmindedly, causing the guards to tense up. “Although you don’t seem to be very observant for a pony.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because we’ve clearly already boarded your ship, you dweeb,” she said as she rolled her eyes.

“I recognize that voice,” Rainbow Dash said as she along with Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack entered from below deck.

“Long time no see, eh…Gilda?”

Gilda didn’t turn to face Rainbow Dash as she spoke. “Yeah, it’s been awhile Dash.”

“Hey, hey, do you remember me too?” Pinkie asked enthusiastically.“It’s only been like forever!”

Gilda turned on her talons to face the group, a small grin on her face. “Oh, there’s no way I could forget you, Pinkie Pie.”

Author's Note

Not much to say, but um thanks to everyone that has given this story a like. It reached 2k with the last chapter. I never thought I'd write anything that would gain such a following. I know the last chapter left a lot of people feeling negatively or at least some kind of way. Over 200 comments, yeah people had a lot to say about it, both good and bad. Hopefully the turn around for the next chapter won't be as long as a wait as this one was.

Chapter 1: A wet Entry

Chapter 1: A wet Entry

‘Chirping?... But the sun isn’t even up. I guess they weren’t lying about that "early bird getting the worm" business,’ Chris tiredly mused to himself as he cracked his eye open to take a peek at the clock sitting on his bedside table.

‘5:26,’ Chris thought irritably. “And after I went through the trouble of setting the alarm only to wake up before the damn thing even went off,” Chris muttered to himself as he proceeded to wrench the cord from its socket stopping any chance his alarm would have to go off.

Stretching out his arms and giving an unnecessarily loud yawn Chris pried his covers from his body. Turning his attention directly to his right, Chris couldn’t help but chuckle at his roommate's sleeping position.

‘Classic,’ Chris noted as he grabbed his Iphone and snapped a quick picture of his buddy sprawled out on the adjacent bed in nothing but his boxers and right hand clearly gripping his 'nads under said boxers.

“Haha,” Chris silently chuckled. “This should be a good one to post on his facebook wall,” Chris concluded as he grabbed a pillow off his own bed and whipped it at his blissfully unaware friend. “Wake up Keon!” Chris shouted as the pillow smacked his friend directly in the face.

“Damn you,” Keon groggily said. “What are you, twelve?”

“Yeah whatever, get your ass up,” Chris said bluntly, ignoring the death glare his friend was scrutinizing him with. “I know how long you take in the shower, you’re like my sister.”

“Up yours,” Keon shot back with an added middle finger to boot. None the less he was already digging through his suitcase in search of clothes he was going to wear for the day.

“Today’s going to be awesome.” Chris said with enthusiasm while pulling back on the window curtains, revealing an early morning sky with stars still visible. “We’re actually going into Amazonia today.”

“Yip-ee,” Keon cheered sarcastically while tying his shoulder length dreads into a pony tail. “I can’t wait to get bit by numerous mutant insects; it’ll be barrels of fun.”

“Dude, if you can’t stand a few mosquito bites, perhaps zoology was maybe a bad field of study to choose, hm?” Chris chastised.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the creatures and the critters,” Keon fired back as he headed for the bathroom. “I just think there are a few pests we’d be better off without!” Keon shouted as he closed the door behind him.

About forty minutes later Chris and Keon found themselves downstairs in the hotel lobby where their class was told to meet before they headed out.

“Is everyone here?” a rather lanky bespectacled man questioned as he came shuffling into the lobby. “We got a busy day, and we need to get a move on,” he said as he began to take roll call. Satisfied with the results the man addressed his class.

“Okay everyone I hope you’ve had breakfast because there will be no pit stops on this five hour ride into Amazonia,” the professor explained.

“Good thing I stocked up,” Keon whispered to Chris as he showed him an opening in his backpack, revealing a large amount food he managed to take from the complimentary breakfast area.

“Good call on that one,” Chris responded.

“Once we’re on the bus we’re in for the long haul, got that?” the professor finished.

The small class of zoology majors nodded their understanding.

“Good, the shuttle bus is already waiting for us, grab your things and let’s go,” the professor ordered before leading his class out the hotel door and onto a bus that had been waiting for them.

The class naturally settled in on the bus, each choosing their own way to keep busy for the long bus ride. Some had opted to simply go back to sleep while others had their cameras out, eager to take as many photos of Brazil’s countryside as possible.

“Well, I’m gonna catch some z’s,” Keon stated simply to Chris while sliding on a pair of headphones. “It’s still early as hell after all.”

“I can’t believe how unethusiastic you are about all this,” Chris complained dryly, as he pulled out his own camera. “We’re in Brazil for God’s sake, an aspiring zoologist like you should be foaming at the mouth for being here.”

“Uh, about that,” Keon said, “we’re on a bus, can’t really observe animals from a moving vehicle.”

Choosing to ignore Keon, Chris peered though his window. The sun was in full effect by this point, and a beautiful morning it was.

‘This is it,’ Chris thought as he admired the scenery as it became more rural the further they got from the city they had been in. ‘Life just seems so much more peaceful here, nature and all it’s beauty,’ Chris reasoned while taking a photo of some parrots that were flying off in the distance.

“Pretty isn’t it?” a woman said from the seat behind Chris, prompting him to listen in. “It’s a pity to think that this could all be gone someday.”

“I don’t follow,” the girl next to her returned.

“I mean at the rate humans use up natural resources,” she explained. “Our forest won’t be here forever, it’s only a matter of time before the world is just an industrial waste land.”

“Could you be any more gloomy?” a guy piped in who happened to overhear the girls comment. “Or do all conservationists have that outlook on life?”

“Shut up Michael,” the woman shot back. “It’s because of ignorant pig heads like you I’ve decided to become a conservationist. Someone has to take on the responsibility of preserving this world.”

“That’s right.” Michael chuckled. “Save the world one tree at a time.”

“Alright, enough you two,” the professor cut in. “I didn’t realize I was taking a bunch of kids on a field trip.”

Seeing that the squabble was put to rest Chris resumed looking out the window. He couldn’t help the grin on his face as he watched the scenery zip by. All his life he had loved animals and finally he was taking the first big step towards realizing his dream of working with them as a profession.

Sometime later

“Fiiinnnnaaallllyyyyy!” Keon shouted as he hopped off the bus before stretching out his stiff limbs. “I thought that damn ride was going to last forever.”

“Aww, it wasn’t that bad sleeping beauty,” Chris joked. “Besides, I got some really cool pictures.”

“That’s cute,” Keon said dismissively while reaching into his backpack and pulling out an impressive Nikon D800 camera. “But it’s time to let the professional handle things.”

“Taking pictures for your old high school year book doesn’t classify you as a professional,” Chris countered.

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time my friend,” Keon returned before focusing his attention on taking pictures of the surrounding area.

“Hey, listen up everyone!” the professor spoke up. “I’d like to introduce you all to our guide, Rico Santos,” The professor stated while gesturing to a small Brazilian man who walked forward and gave a slight nod.

“Rico will be taking us on a three hour trek into the forest to our camp,” the professor continued to explain. “There’s a team from the San Diego zoo department waiting for us there. They will be showing you guys the ropes and taking you to get hands on experience in the field. Any questions?" the professor finished.

“Yeah, I have to take a leak,” a sturdy young man said. “And I’m hungry too.”

“Well Mr. Collons, you’ll have to use one of these lovely trees to relieve yourself because we’re on the outskirts of the Amazon forest, there are no bathrooms. As for food we have ration bars and canteens for everyone. That will have to hold you over until we reach camp.”

“Ration bars, feels like we’re in the military or something?” Chris said adjusting his backpack as well in preparation for the long walk.

“Might as well be,” Keon agreed. “Three hour hike into a hot and humid jungle carrying gear on our backs. Makes me feel like a badass marine.”

“Before we go I want everyone to pick a partner,” the professor suddenly addressed loudly. “Make sure you stay with your partner at all times. I know it sounds elementary to use the buddy system, but this jungle is dense and you will get lost if you stray from the group, so stick together,” the professor added with emphasis on together. “The last thing I want is to have to call in a search party.”

Seemingly understanding their orders the class broke off into pairs. Without any more delay they began their trek into the awaiting lush green forest before them.

After an hour or so the class stopped in a clearing to take a break and recoup.

“If anyone feels the need to use the little ladies room, now’s your chance,” the professor offered from his slumped position against a tree. Wiping the sweat from his brow and cleaning his glasses he concluded, “Make sure you take your partner and don’t wander far.”

“Yo Chris, I need to drain the main vein,” Keon said while taping Chris on the shoulder.

Nodding his understanding Chris got up and followed his friend as they walked off from the group.

“Hey, don’t you think this is far enough?” Chris said noticing that they had walked much further than necessary.

“Nah, a little further, I don’t want the professor getting a whiff of this,” Keon reasoned with a large grin as he pulled out a plastic bag and dangled it in Chris’s face.

“How the hell did you get that through customs?” Chris whispered while quickly looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had followed them.

“Are you stupid?” Keon replied as though that were the dumbest question he had ever heard. “No way in hell would I try sneaking this shit on a plane. There was a shady looking guy back at the hotel who sold it to me.”

“And you’re just going to smoke it?” Chris asked while shaking his head in amusement.

“Yep, the guy was even kind enough to throw in some complimentary rolling papers,” Keon answered while chuckling like an idiot.

“Pft, well you do your thing. I’m ah step a little away, so I don’t reek like you,” Chris reasoned making his way a distance from Keon. “Just make sure you hurry up, our break is only twenty minutes,” Chris added as he reached for his camera, to give himself something to do while his friend indulged in his illegal pleasure.

After Chris had walked a fair distance away he had taken notice of a strange bird call he hadn’t heard before.

‘That’s a weird bird call, sounds almost like singing,’ Chris thought as he made an attempt to follow the sound, occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure Keon was still in viewing distance.

As the sound became louder Chris became increasingly intrigued, so much in fact that he had completely forgotten about keeping Keon in viewing distance.

Finally spying the animal that had been making the sound Chris’s jaw dropped in amazement. “…What the hell is that?” Chris mouthed quietly to himself.

Perched in a tree a short distance away stood a magnificent orange and golden colored bird. The color scheme gave the bird an appearance as though it were made of flames.

Reaching for his camera, Chris couldn’t help but feel nervous at the prospect of missing his chance to get a picture of the bird. He was almost certain that nothing like it had been documented before.

‘This bird is like something out of legend,’ Chris mused as he adjusted his lens and snapped the photo. Looking down at his camera's LCD, his heart sank when he noticed that the photo was nothing more than a bright blur, as though he had taken a picture of the sun. “Damn!”

The bird instantly took notice of Chris’s outburst and immediately stretched out its wings.

‘Shit! It’s going to try and fly away,’ Chris thought frantically while trying to get his camera back into its photo mode.
Before Chris could finish the bird had leapt from its branch and taken off.

“Fuck!” Chris shouted, deciding to chase after the bird, determined not to let the rare find get away from him. “Okay I won’t follow it too far,” Chris reasoned, desperately trying to take photos of the bird. Only to get the same sun glare effect with each attempt.

“What the hell is going on!?” Chris shouted in angry confusion. “Why can’t I take a picture of this damn bir...”

Chris was cut off mid sentence as he suddenly lost his footing and found himself tumbling painfully down a hill that he hadn't noticed coming up ahead of him.

“Guwhaaa!!” he grunted as he rolled down the hill, bumping into rocks and branches along the way.

Finally hitting his head particularly hard on a tree stump, Chris lost consciousness.

‘What is this…why am I so wet and cold?’ Chris thought as he slowly opened his eyes, revealing an area almost too dark to see in. “Where am I?” he questioned to no one in particular.

“In a pit,” a voice answered dryly, that Chris instantly recognized as Keon’s.

Squinting his eyes, his vision slowly began to focus in the low light environment.

“A pit?” Chris muttered as he looked up and surely enough a gaping hole, stretching a good twenty feet above them, could be seen. “How the fuck did we get down here?”

“You don’t remember?” Keon asked from a nearby rock he was sitting on. “I guess I’m not that surprised, you did take some nasty bumps,” Keon said while pointing to a gash over the left side of Chris’s forehead.

Reaching to touch where his friend had pointed to, Chris winced in pain. “Well, enlighten me with the details,” Chris said irritably.

“You were chasing after something,” Keon began. “I saw you just start running, so I followed you. You kept taking pictures of something, but I couldn’t tell what. Eventually I lost sight of you when you went over the hill.”

Chris’s eyes widened. “I remember now, I was after this bird, I just wasn’t paying attention to anything else,” he summarized as he turned his attention to Keon. “But how did you get down here?”

“Simple, I wasn’t paying much attention either and this damn hill caught me by surprise too. I fell in right after you,” Keon finished.

“How long have we been down here?” Chris asked in a panicked tone.

“'Bout thirty minutes, so relax,” Keon said. “Our class has probably only been looking for us for a little while now.”
“Why don’t we just climb out?” Chris offered.

“Thanks, I never would have thought of that on my own,” Keon shot back sarcastically. “Take a look around, there’s zero foot holds.”

“Damn, this is all that bird's fault,” Chris grumbled.

“Bird, so what kind of bird convinced you it was important enough for you to chase it and end up in this pit?" Keon asked with mock interest.

Sighing to himself Chris looked at Keon with a serious expression. “I don’t know what it was, the closest thing I can even compare it to doesn’t even exist in real life.”

Keon wore a confused expression on his face at Chris’s words. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it looked like a…like ah…like a Phoenix, okay!” Chris spat out.

Keon simply stared at Chris for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Haha, a Phoenix? Like the ones that burst into flame then are born again from their ashes or something like that? You must have hit your head harder than I thought.”

“I’m not joking, I swear. If I didn’t know any better I’d say the thing really was a Phoenix,” Chris argued. “What’s even weirder is every time I tried to take a picture of it, I only got a weird light glare instead.”

“That’s just you not knowing how to set up your camera right,” Keon said. “Or maybe Phoenix’s just aren’t very photogenic,” he added with a smirk.

“You know what, up yours,” Chris fired back. “I know what I saw you jackass.”

Simply shrugging Keon stood up and tossed Chris his now broken camera. “I found it on the ground down here. Needless to say your spill down that hill wasn’t so kind to it.”

“That sucks,” Chris stated plainly as he observed his battered camera. “Thing cost me three hundred bucks. But never mind that, what should we do?”

“I don’t know, we could wait it out here,” Keon offered. “I figure it should only take a few hours for them to find us. Or we could see if there’s a way out down there.” He added while pointing an index finger in the direction behind Chris.

Looking over his shoulder, Chris cocked his eyebrow at the apparent path behind him. Before Chris could make a decision the familiar call of the bird he had chased suddenly echoed from the tunnel.

“Uh…what the hell was that?” Keon asked dumbly.

“No way…that’s the sound of the bird I was following,” Chris answered as he stood up and faced the dark tunnel ahead of them.

“I’m no ornithologist, but last time I checked birds don’t sound like that,” Keon said, his skepticism clear in his voice.

“Then let’s find out,” Chris challenged.

“So, let me get this straight, you want to go looking for the bird that got us in this fix in the first place,” Keon repeated to make sure he got the details right.

The bird cry echoed throughout the tunnel once more.

“I’m going,” Chris said as he opened up his backpack and pulled out a flashlight. “Who knows, there may be a way out?”

Shaking his head Keon also pulled out a flashlight from his backpack. “I know I’m going to regret this,” he muttered to himself as he made to follow Chris into the tunnel.

“So, uh, what do you plan on naming this bird if it really does turn out to be an undiscovered species?” Keon questioned trying to make small talk as they trekked through the small tunnel. “I mean, the way you describe it doesn’t sound like anything on record.”

“I don’t know, haven’t really thought about it,” Chris admitted. “Given the circumstances, it just really hasn’t been on my mind.”

Nodding his understanding Keon stopped when his flashlight illuminated something that caught his interest.
“Wait Chris, stop,” Keon ordered.

Doing as his friend instructed Chris stopped and turned his attention to what his friend was staring at.
“What is this?” Chris asked as he stared at what was before him.

“Not sure, looks like some kind of ancient mural,” Keon answered, observing the large carved out pictures on the side of the tunnel. “It’s hard to make out, but they look like horses or maybe ponies,” he said as he tried to wipe away some of the dirt and vines that were obstructing his view.

“You’re right,” Chris agreed. “But that one there’s a pegasus, and the one to right is a unicorn.” Chris pointed out as he continued to study the mural with interest. “Holy shit!” Chris suddenly yelled.

“Wha-what is it?” Keon stuttered in surprise.

“That bird, that’s it, that’s the same bird I was following,” Chris said while pointing to a fiery looking bird carved out on the wall.

“Damn, you’re right, it does kind of look like a Phoenix,” Keon said just as a familiar cry echoed throughout the tunnel yet again, although much louder.

Both boys turned their attention in the direction of the cry and stared in silence for a moment.

“You don’t think we stumbled on some ancient ruins, do you?” Keon asked quietly.

“I guess we’re going to find out soon enough,” Chris said, making to head in the direction of the sound yet again with Keon close behind him.

After what seemed like a good hour or so to both boys the tunnel finally began to open up and gave way to a small cavern. The cavern somehow had adequate light to see by for a place that was underground.

Both Chris and Keon stared around for a moment with shocked expressions on their faces. The cavern had four statues stationed at the far wall, directly in front of them.

“So, can someone tell me why there are four horse statues down here?” Keon asked sarcastically.

“Only one of them is a horse,” Chris corrected. “The one in the middle is a unicorn, the one on the left is a pegasus, and obviously the one on the right is a normal horse,” Chris reasoned just as he brought his attention to the final statue that was on a pedestal above the other three. “But I don’t know what that one is,” Chris admitted.

“So, it’s got wings like a pegasus and a horn like a unicorn,” Keon summarized. “Maybe it’s a unisus?”
“There’s no such thing,” Chris countered. “It has to be a pegacorn.”

“Oh, come on, that’s just as stupid as what I said,” Keon began to argue, but stopped as something caught his attention.

“Well, I’ll be damned, there’s a diamond on that horse's crown!” Keon shouted, pointing at the weird statue atop the pedestal.

“I don’t believe it,” Chris said while positioning his flashlight on the diamond. “It’s huge.”

“We’re rich!” Keon shouted. “That diamond has to be worth God knows how much, let's get it.”

“Oh yeah,” Chris whole heartedly agreed, feeling as though he just won the lottery.

But as they made to take a step forward, an orange and golden, seemingly glowing, bird suddenly landed atop the crown of the statue. Both boys simply stared at the bird for a moment in awe.

Finally finding his voice, Keon spoke. “Am I really seeing this? Birds like this aren’t real; this thing is something straight out of a fairytale.”

“I told you,” Chris whispered back. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

“Well, at least I’ll be able to get a proper picture of it,” Keon said as he slowly moved to retrieve his camera. “Who knows, if we’re lucky maybe we could catch it?” he added as he began to snap pictures of the bird that was now staring at them with an unreadable expression.

“That oughta do it,” Keon said with a large grin that quickly became a frown as he took notice of his LCD. “What the hell is this?” he questioned aloud, for nothing but a glare appeared on his LCD.

“Don’t tell me all you got was a glare too?” Chris asked nervously.

“I did,” Keon confirmed while continuing to flip through all the pictures he had taken of the bird, only to find them all to be nothing more than a blurred glare. “This is impossible, hell that bird is impossible.”

“Yeah, this is starting to get weird,” Chris admitted. “Let's get that diamond and get the hell out of here.”

When Chris made to move towards the statue the bird began to let out a loud cry that sounded like a peaceful melody.

Chris and Keon simply stared at the bird as it sang.

“Fuck this, it’s just a bird,” Keon assured himself as he ignored its ominous singing and walked right up to the statue and climbed on top of the unicorn in order to reach the diamond on top of the middle statue's crown.

The bird simply ignored Keon and continued to sing.

“Damn…you…come…on.” Keon grunted as he tried to wrench the diamond free of the crown.

“Keon stop!” Chris shouted as he noticed the eyes on the horse statues suddenly began to glow.

“Why?” Keon shouted back whilst still making an attempt to pry the diamond free.”

“Just look!” Chris ordered.

Looking down at the statue he was currently trying to deprive of its diamond Keon’s eyes widened at the glowing eyes staring back at him. “Holy shit!” He shouted in fear, right after falling from his position on top of the unicorn and onto his back.

“Keon, let’s go, this is too freaky!” Chris hollered to his friend only to fall to the ground as the cavern began to violently shake. “An earthquake!?”

“Oh my God, we’re going to die!” Keon shouted, desperately getting up to his feet just to be knocked back down by the violent shaking of the cavern.

The fear in both boys was exponentially raised as the cavern suddenly began to fill with water from seemingly nowhere. The bird's singing had become painfully loud by this point.

“What is going on!?” Chris tried to shout over the deafening cry of the bird. “Where is all this water coming from?”

“Like I know!” Keon shouted back, frantically trying to stuff his camera into his waterproof backpack. “We have to get back to the tunnel before it fills with water."

“There’s no point!” Chris said. “It took us over an hour to make it down that tunnel. At this rate it’ll be completely submerged in a minute.”

“So what…we just give up!?” Keon asked in a panic. “I’m not ready to die!”

“I don’t know,” Chris answered solemnly, finally realizing that the water was already at his neck and he now had to swim to stay afloat.

Turning his attention to the only other living thing in the cavern that didn’t appear to be fearing for its life, Chris stared heatedly at the bird. “It’s you isn’t it? You’re doing this, you did all this!”

The bird at that moment stopped singing and simply stared into Chris’s eyes. Looking as though it were amused, it then began to glow an immensely bright gold.

Meanwhile Keon was rambling to himself. “I’m too young, there’s so many things I haven’t done yet. I wanted to beat boshy, see the Avengers 2, buy a house, marry a hot woman, have kids, shit, I would have settled for just having had sex in my life. My God… I’m going to die a virgin!”

Chris would have loved nothing more than to tell Keon to shut the hell up, but he couldn’t fault the guy for trying to get everything out of his system before they died.

“So, I guess this is it man,” Chris said as he swam over to Keon and put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from his almost incoherent rambling. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

“Just stop.” Keon cut him off, his voice still thick with fear. “It was fate; it’s not like either of us could have known something like this could happen. Besides we’ve been best friends for fifteen years, I guess if I have to die with someone I’m glad it’s you.”

Both guys shared a laugh at the pitiable joke.

“A joker to the end,” Chris said with a smile while lifting his fist, which Keon bumped with his own.

“You know it,” he replied as tears welled in his eyes. “See you when we get there.” Keon managed to choke out just as the water completely rose above their heads and filled the cavern.

Taking a look around at the flooded cavern, Chris could only stare at the bird beneath him, that didn’t appear to be affected by the water at all. The bird was still glowing like the sun. Even though he was only a mere breath away from death, Chris felt at complete peace watching the bird.

Finally, not being able to hold his breath any longer, Chris sucked in a lung full of water before he completely lost consciousness.

Sometime later

‘Cold, it’s really freaking cold? And why am I wet, is this what it feels like to be dead?’ Chris wondered to himself. ‘I did drown; maybe you go to the after life in the condition you died. But my body still hurts from that fall I took; I thought death ended all pain,’ Chris mused to himself.

Tiredly opening his eyes, they slowly adjusted to the night sky above him. “It’s night?” Chris spoke weakly observing the night sky, and breathing in its cool air. “I’ve never seen so many stars in the sky before,” Chris noted as he turned over in the grass he was lying in and began to cough up small amounts of water.

‘Did someone save me? I feel like I’m still alive,’ Chris wondered as he attempted to stand up, but fell back down due to his legs giving out from fatigue. ‘Then again, I don’t know what it feels like to be dead, so maybe I really am,’ he reasoned before taking notice of a nearby tree.

‘I’m so tired; my whole body feels like jell-o,’ Chris thought as he crawled towards the tree. ‘If I could just get some rest…’ Chris trailed off once again losing consciousness.

Elsewhere

“Captain, Captain!” a young stallion guard shouted as he galloped towards his commander.

“Easy there, what’s got you in such a hurry?” the captain asked.

“Okay, I went to check out that splash in the garden pond, just like you ordered me and you’ll never guess what I found floating in there.” The young guard said with excitement.

“Well, what did you find?” the commander questioned.

The guard made to answer, but stopped and a look of confusion spread across his face. “That’s just it; I don’t know what it is. You just have to see it!” he squealed like a young filly.

Cocking his brow the captain sighed. He had to admit his new recruit was something of a hoof full, none the less it was his duty to check out whatever it was that got one of his officers in such a state. “Very well, take me there.”

“Right away, Sir!”

A moment later both ponies entered the garden and headed towards the pond.

“There it is, Captain,” the guard stated with a large grin as they approached a dark figure sprawled out on the ground. “I pulled it right out of the water, I’m sure it would have drowned hadn’t I pulled it out.”

“Uh huh,” the captain said. “You sure it ain’t already dead?” he questioned before they were close enough to view it. “What in all of Equestria is that?” he asked more to himself than the guard with him as he observed the unconscious being before him.

“Some kind of animal maybe?” the young guard offered.

“Ain’t like any animal I’ve ever seen, and it’s got clothes on, and something on its rear hooves,” the captain summarized before taking notice of something he found strange. “What in the hay are those?” he questioned out loud pointing down at the creature's hands.

“Don’t know,” the guard said while rubbing his front hoof on his chin in a thinking pose. “It’s not like any hoof I’ve seen, or paw or claw for that matter. So what do you suppose we should do, Captain?”

“Not sure, we don’t have protocol for something this weird showing up in the palace garden.” The captain said, “I suppose we should alert one of the princesses, they’ll know what to do with it.”

“Okay, I’ll get right on it, Captain,” the young guard offered eagerly.

“No, I’ll have to go myself, so no pony asks any questions,” the captain explained. “Best we keep this finding to as few ponies as possible in the mean time.”

“Very well, I’ll make sure no pony enters until your return with the princess,” the guard said with a salute.

“Yeah, just make sure not to mess with it,” the captain warned as he began to walk away. “Last thing I want is that thing waking up before the princess arrives,” he finished.

It took the captain no more than ten minutes to reach the princess's chambers. Steeling his resolve the captain tapped his hoof on the door in front of him.

A moment later a booming voice echoed from behind the door. “Who art thou who disturbs Princess Luna at such an hour of the night!?...I mean…who is it?” she corrected herself in a much softer tone.

“Sorry to disturb you, your Majesty. It is I, the captain of the western squadron,” he answered. “We have a bit of a situation on our hooves.”

Opening the door, a rather tall pony stepped out. She had a dark, smooth coat with a translucent, indigo, flowing mane that resembled the night sky. Her appearance also consisted of a pair of wings and a unicorn horn atop her head. “What is this situation you speak of?” she questioned.

“It’s complicated, it would be best to simply show you,” the captain said with a bow of his head.

“Very well, I shall accompany you to said situation,” Luna responded as she gestured for the captain to lead the way.

Once Luna and the captain arrived on the scene she stared down at the creature with wide eyes.

“My stars, I’ve never seen such a beast.” She muttered silently while observing the creature intensely. Bringing her snout down closer to it she sniffed it a few times. “It smells…funny,” she noted as she moved her hoof towards its mouth and spread its lips open. “My word, it has canines.”

“So, it’s dangerous then?” the captain inquired.

“I can’t say for certain,” Luna responded, pointing her hoof at its mouth. “It also has molars, so it doesn’t strictly eat meat. Regardless, this is quite a discovery, there’s never been anything like this found in Equestria, or anywhere for that matter.”

“You don’t think it’s some kind of alien do you?” the young guard interjected, his excitement evident.

“If it were I’d expect that it would have come in some sort of vessel,” Luna reasoned. “How did you say you found it?”

“There was a splash in the pond, so I went to check it and found it floating right there.” The guard answered pointing his hoof towards the pond.

“That makes it sound like if fell out of the sky,” Luna said. “In the mean time we should get this…uh, thing out of sight. I’ll tell Celestia about this while you see to that.”

Nodding their understanding, both the captain and the guard began dragging the unconscious man towards the castle.

The Following Morning

The familiar sound of birds chirping roused Chris from his slumber. Everything seemed hazy to him, as though his memories where a mash up of bizarre events. Finally coming to his senses, Chris’s eyes shot open.

“Oh my God, I’m dead!” he shouted in a panic. His eyes scrunched together as the bright light of the sun assaulted his pupils.

“So bright,” he noted trying to let his eyes adjust to the bright light. Once they did Chris took in his surroundings.

He noticed he was a few meters from a lake. “I guess that explains these damp clothes,” he pieced together. “But something seems…off. I know I drowned, that much I’m certain of,” he said. “So this has to be the afterlife, but why do I feel the same?” he questioned himself, observing the many cuts and bruises on his body.

“I don’t see any pearly white gates or fire and brim stone. So is this really the next world?”

Standing to his feet Chris studied his surroundings carefully. For the most part, he noticed, the world around him just seemed like a really nice country area, although more vibrant. He couldn’t quite explain it, but the grass and sky and trees just seemed more colorful than usual.

“This is weird, one moment I’m in a random cavern in Brazil filling up with water, and now I’m in some countryside only God knows where.” Chris’s musings were put on hold when he noticed something off in the distance.

It was hard to make out, but Chris was certain he could see a castle protruding out of a mountain side in the far off distance. “Well, that’s something you don’t see everyday,” Chris muttered to himself, as he pulled off his backpack to check his gear.

He grinned to himself, seeing that his waterproof backpack had proven to be a good investment after all. Reaching for his phone, he grabbed it with haste. Turning it on, his face fell, seeing zero bars.

“Pfft, I should have known,” he chastised himself. “I didn’t have reception in Brazil. Why the hell would I have it here, wherever the hell here is?”

Sighing to himself Chris closed his backpack. Apart from some clothes, a compass and a pack of poptarts he hadn’t much with him. His flashlight was lost back at the cavern and his camera was a lost cause.

Taking one more look back at the mountainside castle, Chris decided he really only had one option, get to whatever the hell that castle was. “That castle had to be built by someone,” Chris reasoned, as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “I have to find out where I am and how in the hell I got here.”

His only problem was an eerie looking forest that stood in between him and that castle.

Authors Note
Well that was fun never thought I’d be writing a MLP story. But it’s hard to read other stories without getting inspired to try your own hand at it. I hope you found the opening adequate, and please feel free to leave me some feedback so that I may improve.

Anyway I’ll see you with the next chapter later.

Chapter 6: Twilight has the Answer

Chapter 6: Twilight has the Answer

“Hiiiiii!!!!!” Pinkie Pie shouted, finishing with a grin that threatened to split her face in two. “I’ve never seen you before! Are you new here? Are you a monkey? No, that’d be silly monkeys have fur, or maybe you lost your fur. Wait, did somepony steal your fur? I like your mane, I’ve never seen one like it.” Pinkie continued to fire question after question, ignoring the fact that she hadn’t received any response from her flabbergasted victim.

Keon, for the most part, could only watch this bizarre pony chatter on and on, as though she’d just taken a shot of pure adrenaline. ‘What is with this kid?’ Keon thought to himself, as Pinkie started speaking at a pace that was beginning to make her questions sound like one long, jumbled up word. ‘And why the hell does her breath smell like baked cookies?’

As this was going on, Twilight had stepped out from behind Celestia, and her eyes fell on the being before her for the first time. She didn’t know what to make of what she was currently seeing. It was vaguely similar to a primate, but not like one she’d ever read about.

“Sweet Celestia!?” Twilight blurted out with a wide eyed expression on her face, prompting Celestia to quirk an eyebrow at her. Twilight blushed at the implication of the words she’d spoken, before quickly stammering out, “I mean, Princess, what is…that?”

“Some kind of hairless monkey, maybe?” Spike said, as he too eyed Keon with intrigue.

“There are many questions we have yet to ask, but we were able to find out that he is a 'human',” Celestia answered, clearly amused at her student’s current loss for words.

“Hu-human,” Twilight repeated the word. “I can’t say I’ve ever read or even heard of a human before,” Twilight admitted. “Do they live somewhere far beyond the borders of Equestria?” she asked. “Even so, I’d expect something this remarkable would be known the world over, regardless of borders.”

“That is precisely why this discovery is so exciting,” Luna remarked. “Mr. Keon here is not of our world, but from a different one entirely.”

Twilight’s mouth was agape at the realization. “It’s an extraterrestrial?” she all but squealed in her excitement. “I can’t even begin to imagine all that we could learn. This is truly a momentous moment in our history, and I’m right in the thick of it!”

Pinkie had stopped her barrage of questions as she took a moment to soak in the new information presented to her. However, Keon’s momentary reprieve from Pinkie was short lived, for she was now bouncing in every sense of the word, circling around him with even more excitement.

“Ohmygoshohmygosh, I’ll be the first pony to ever make friends with an alien!” Pinkie exclaimed with no attempt to hide her enthusiasm. “I’ll throw the biggest, best-est 'welcome to a new world, funny, furless alien' party, ever!”

Keon took that moment to place his hands on the bouncing pink ball of energy named Pinkie’s shoulders to hold her in place. “Kid, calm down, I can’t think with you yammering and bouncing all over the place.”

“I’m not a kid, silly. I don’t look like a goat, do I?” Pinkie countered. “Or maybe I do and nopony thought to tell me?” She finished, looking as though she was thinking hard on the matter.

Keon simply sighed as he let go of Pinkie’s shoulders. “No, I don’t mean you’re a young goat literally,” he explained. “Back where I’m from that word has a few meanings, one being child, in your case filly.”

Twilight took that moment to step forward. “Uh…Mr. Keon was it?” she asked hesitantly, getting a simple "Yeah" from Keon in response. “I’ve been wondering…how is it that you’re speaking Equestrian?”

Keon stared at the purple unicorn for a moment before shrugging. “I’m not, as crazy as it sounds, all you ponies are speaking English.”

The mares in the room along with Spike shared confused looks with one another.

“Surely you jest,” Luna said. “I haven’t really thought on the matter until now, but it is very curious that we would speak in the same tongue.”

“Or an astronomical stroke of luck,” Keon quipped. “If we couldn’t understand each other, who knows how long we’d be at square one. But more importantly, is that what I think it is?” Keon asked while pointing his index finger towards Spike.

All eyes followed Keon’s finger towards Spike, and Twilight spoke up.

“If you’re thinking Spike here is a dragon, then yes,” she answered. “Do you have them where you are from?”

“His world has the idea of them,” Luna said, answering Twilight’s question. “It’s quite fascinating, but a great deal of our worlds inhabitants are mere unproven legends where Mr. Keon is from.”

“That is quite fascinating,” Twilight said thoughtfully before turning her attention back to Keon. “If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind explaining how it is you arrived here?”

Keon observed the occupants of the room, who were looking back at him in anticipation. “Well, I guess I haven’t really told the full story to anyone yet,” Keon admitted. “Who knows, maybe this will actually spread some light on the situation.”

Twilight nodded eagerly, as she trotted up closer to Keon and sat on her haunches next to Luna, followed by Celestia, and Spike, who hopped up on Twilights back. Pinkie had opted to jump on the bed next to Keon, as though they were long time friends.

Keon looked at Pinkie, silently wondering how she could be so comfortable around him before deciding that she was just weird. “Well, I guess I should start at the beginning of our class trip,” he began his tale.

After Keon had concluded his retelling of how he ended up in Equestria, he took in the expressions of his listeners. Both Celestia and Luna simply looked thoughtful, while Spike and Pinkie just looked confused. Twilight, on the other hand, looked ready to burst with excitement, which hadn’t gone unnoticed by Celestia.

“Is there something on your mind, Twilight?” Celestia asked.

“I think I know how he got here!” Twilight shouted, as she sprung up to her hooves, knocking Spike off her back in the process, causing him to grumble his displeasure. “Actually, I’m certain of it.” She beamed with pride.

“Is that true, Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked curiously.

Twilight nodded. “I had my suspicions the moment the bird was described, but the part where the chasm began to fill with water confirmed my beliefs,” she explained, never losing her grin. “Give me a few moments, I’ll be right back,” she finished, as she vanished in a purple sphere of magic.

“Did she just disappear?” Keon asked dumbly to no one in particular.

Meanwhile

“What’s ah Keon?” Applejack asked, being the first to recover from their initial surprise at Chris’s sudden outburst.

“It’s not a what, it’s a who, he’s another well…human, like me,” Chris explained, as he began walking, prompting the ponies to follow after him. “He was with me back on my world before I wound up here, it would only make sense that he would end up here too.”

“So, you’re suspecting your compatriot may very well have landed in Canterlot?” Rarity deduced, as her eyes widened.
“Heavens, surely you don’t intend to walk to Canterlot in your condition,” she added, for she had observed the numerous tears in his clothing in addition to scrapes, bruises, and a limp that was apparent as he walked. “Darling, you’ll keel over before you've made it half way.”

“I’ll be fine, that place doesn’t look too far off,” Chris argued.

“I’m ah hafta agree with Rarity on this one,” Applejack cut in, as she positioned herself in front of Chris to stop his advancement. “Canterlot would take a feller like you ah whole two day’s ta walk there on hoof. 'Sides, there are some pretty nasty critters that run around in those parts.”

“Well, what would you suggest?” Chris said, clenching his jaws tightly, finding it hard to conceal his irritation.

“Priority number one shall be getting your wounds dressed,” Rarity said in a tone that didn’t leave much room for compromise. “The last thing we would want is for you to walk into Canterlot with an array of festering cuts and bruises. As it is, your appearance is already rather imposing without the injuries,” she added.

Chris sighed in defeat, he didn’t want to admit it, but a two day hike in his condition was definitely more than he could handle. “Fine, I take it you guys have some bandages and antibiotics then?”

“'Course I do, back at the barn, but it might be better ta let Fluttershy have a look atcha first,” Applejack reasoned. “She takes care of all sorts of critters; she’ll fix yah up all nice and neat.”

“We’re not going to have to walk through this 'Ponyville', are we?” Chris asked nervously. “You know, with me being a human and all things might get weird,” Chris concluded, although he thought seeing a town of talking ponies would be an interesting experience.

“Of course not, dear” Rarity said. “Fortunately for us, Fluttershy lives in a quaint little cottage right outside of Ponyville.”

“Yeah, nopony will see us takin yah there,” Apple Bloom chimed in.

“Us?” Applejack repeated with a raised brow at her little sister. “Dontcha think you little fillies have had enough fun fer today?”

“What? That’s not fair, we found Chris first,” Scootaloo barked back.

Sweetie Belle nodded her agreement as she added, “So that makes him our responsibility.”

“Girls, you’re not old enough to be responsible for yourselves, let alone another living being,” Rarity argued. “Besides, you just intend to use this as a means to earn your cutie marks.”

Not making any attempt to argue that point, the crusaders simply turned to Chris, each giving the best puppy dog expressions they could muster.

“Please, Chris, we won’t be in the way,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah, we’ll be on our best behavior,” Scootaloo added.

“Don’t let them send us away,” Apple Bloom finished.

Chris just stared at them with a confused expression. “Hey, it’s not like I have any say in the matter,” he said, before turning to Rarity and Applejack. “I don’t know if it makes a difference, but I don’t mind if they tag along.”

Rarity and Applejack looked at one another before silently agreeing with each other.

“Very well, if it’s okay with Mr. Chris, then we have no reason to object,” Rarity said, causing the crusaders to give a triumphant cheer of “Yay” in unison.

Chris couldn’t help but smile at the similarities between these fillies and human children their age. It was one thing that these ponies could talk, but to see them acting with the same social mannerisms as humans was somewhat surreal.

“Well, Mr. Chris, if you’d be ever so kind as to follow us,” Rarity said, as she took up position out in front and began to lead the way.

Chris adjusted his backpack and quickly fell in stride with Rarity. Finally having a moment to really have a look at her, he found himself hard pressed not to laugh at the idea of a pony wearing eye shadow and false lashes. He figured she was probably a very important pony or at least a high class citizen in pony society, if her posh way of speaking was any indication. The only thing that made him doubt his assessment of her was the simple fact that she didn’t come off as a stuck up bitch.

“I know I didn’t mention it before, but thanks for everything,” Chris suddenly addressed the group.

“Don’t mention it, darling, it’s the least we can do,” Rarity said.

“The least you can do?” Chris repeated Rarity’s statement. “You ponies are too kind, it’s not like you owe me shit.”

“Owe you shit?” Apple Bloom said with a giggle. “That’s sounds funny, hey Sweetie Belle, say it with me.”

“Okay, shit!” Sweetie Belle chorused happily. “It does sound funny when you say it.”

“Sweetie Belle, do not use such language, for some reason it doesn’t sound appropriate for a lady to say,” Rarity ordered, before turning her attention to Chris. “Is that colorful language where you are from?”

“Sorry, I guess it is. I’ll be more mindful next time,” Chris said with a simple shrug.

“Well, see that yah do,” Applejack added. “Can’t have yah teachin' youngins how to speak in that dribble.”

‘It’s like these ponies are just people, they’re even mindful of children hearing curse words,’ Chris mused to himself. ‘This world reminds me of cartoons where the animals are pretty much human, like Spongebob or something. I mean, she’s wearing a cowboy hat, where the hell would she even get one of those?’

Chris was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Apple Bloom’s voice.

“So, uh, Chris, are all humans tall like you?” she asked as her, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo ran playfully in a circle around his legs.

“To be honest, five nine isn’t all that tall,” Chris answered. “I mean, they say the average for a male is about five seven, but most of my friends are taller than me. And some humans can get really tall, much taller then me.”

“Wow, I couldn’t imagine being that tall; it must be pretty cool to look right over everypony,” Scootaloo said.

Chris was about to address Scootaloo before he took notice of something flying above them. “Should we be concerned about whatever that is up there?” he asked, while pointing towards the object in question.

Applejack tilted her hat and stared up into the sky before speaking. “That’s just Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “Dash is ah good friend of ours, so don’t worry about getting spotted.”

“Wait, you’re saying that’s a pony up there?” Chris asked with obvious skepticism in his voice. “How would it be flying?”

“Because Rainbow Dash is a pegasus, darling,” Rarity responded curtly.

“Yeah, and the most awesome flier ever!” Scootaloo squealed like an obsessed fan.

Chris raised a brow at the little orange filly, causing her ears to fall down in embarrassment.

“Well, it’s true,” Scootaloo muttered under her breath.

Chris shook his head before he made to pick up Scootaloo. “Just by judging this little one, who feels like she weighs at least sixty pounds, that one up there would be way too heavy to sustain flight under its own power. Even if it had a thirty foot wing span it’d be impossible for a two hundred pound pony to fly,” Chris finished as he set Scootaloo back down.

“Antcha seein it for yer self?” Applejack countered.

Chris wanted to argue that, but Rarity chimed in.

“Technically, Mr. Chris would be correct if we were speaking about animals,” Rarity explained. “However, pegasi, like all ponies and other beings of our world, have an amount of natural magic within them that grants them flight, along with weather manipulation and cloud walking.”

“Hang on, so it’s not just unicorns that can use magic?” Chris asked with a perplexed expression etched on his face.

“Well, yes and no.” Rarity tried to explain. “Think of natural magic as magic that simply works on the subconscious level, there’s no manual control over it. However, unicorns have the ability to freely manipulate the magic that resides within us,” Rarity concluded with a clear look of satisfaction on her face.

“Makes about as much sense as anything else here.” Chris said as he pulled his notepad and pen back out and jotted a few things down. “Honestly, I don’t even know if it’s worth taking notes, it’s not like anyone is going to believe me when and if I get back home.”

“Why wouldn’t anypony believe yah?” Applejack asked curiously.

“Because where I come from absolutely none of this could be real,” Chris said. “Talking ponies, timberwolves, unicorns, pegasi, magic. All of this only exists in our legends, myths and fairytales.”

“You’re saying unicorns are in your ponytales? That’s amazing!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, clearly happy with being connected to Chris’s world in someway.

“That don’t make much ah any sense,” Applejack retorted. “How come we exist in your myths, but I ain’t ever heard of ah human even in ponytales or the like?”

“I’m inclined to agree with Applejack,” Rarity piped in. “Shouldn’t the door, as they say, swing both ways?”

“I guess, but humans do have a wild imagination, so it could just be a coincidence,” Chris answered. ‘Although those ruins did have murals and statues of ponies. It’s possible that people may have come here before in the past or vice versa,’ Chris thought as he decided to keep that information to himself for the meantime. Pulling out his Iphone, he aimed the camera at Rainbow Dash, who appeared to be literally pushing a cloud with her front hooves. “I know I’m trying to save the battery, but I can’t miss this.”

“What’s that yah got?” Apple Bloom asked looking up curiously at the object in Chris’s hand.

“It’s a lot of things, but right now it’s pretty much only useful for music and taking pictures,” Chris answered while taking a few pictures of Rainbow Dash at work.

“You’re saying such a small and elegant device is capable of taking photos?” Rarity asked while trotting up to take a better look at the phone in Chris’s hand.

“Yeah,” Chris said plainly while lowering the phone down to show Rarity and the crusaders the picture he had taken of Rainbow Dash.

“My word, you can even view the photo before it’s developed. Just how did you create something like this?” Rarity asked excitedly.

“Hell if I know,” Chris replied with a shrug. “I just bought it. I have no clue what goes into making something like this. To be honest, I don’t know how half the things we have back on my world actually work. But that’s why I’m just a consumer and not the guy coming up with this stuff.”

“So, you have other marvelous things such as this?” Rarity inquired thoughtfully. “I haven’t really considered it until now, but there may be a great of many things our world could learn from you.”

“Maybe, if you had gotten saddled with a more tech savvy human. Unfortunately that’s not really me,” Chris concluded.

“Even so, just giving us the idea would be more than sufficient,” Rarity reasoned. “With the right amount of guidance, somepony may be able to recreate such things from your world.”

“Can we put all the fancy talk on hold fer ah moment?” Applejack cut in on their discussion. “Looks like Dash is dropping in.”

Chris looked up to the sky, and sure enough, Rainbow Dash was heading right towards them. She landed with an audible thump a few paces in front of them and grinned.

“What’s up guys? I just got done with setting up the cloud formations for the day so what are you…” Rainbow Dash stopped mid sentence when she spotted Chris. “What in the hay?” she muttered “Uh, is it okay that there’s some weird looking animal just standing there?”

“Nice to meet you too,” Chris spoke sarcastically, causing Rainbow Dash to nearly jump out her fur.

After regaining her composure, she glared at Chris. “Hey, don’t try and get snippy with me jus' cause you can talk. I’ll still kick your sorry flank back into the Everfree forest if you give me a reason to.”

Chris didn’t know what to make of this rainbow maned pony. It didn’t come off nearly as friendly as the others and he thought that it might be male, considering its more brash attitude. Its voice, however, made him question that theory, considering it sounded raspy, yet feminine, which is why he found himself looking between its hind legs.

“Hey, what are you looking at!?” Rainbow Dash demanded, as her eyes followed Chris’s line of vision to her nether regions and she blushed in embarrassment. “This thing is sick, it’s staring at me and I’m not even in season!”

“Oh, my,” Rarity said while covering her mouth with a hoof. “I had no idea you were interested in mares in that manner.”

“Shit, I’m not!” Chris shot back, looking affronted and forgetting about his language. “I just wasn’t sure if she was a damn male or female, that’s all.”

“So, you’re saying I look like a stallion then!?” Rainbow Dash fired back hotly. “That’s it, it’s go time! Me and you, right now!” Rainbow Dash challenged while pulling back on her fore leg like she was rolling up a sleeve. “I’m gonna mess you up so bad Fluttershy won’t even look at cha.”

“Whoa, nelly,” Applejack broke in, as she hopped in front of Rainbow Dash. “Try calmin' down for ah moment yah hot head. Chris ain’t from our world, he ain’t know he was offendin yah.”

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Applejack before realization dawned on her and she lost her frown. “It’s an alien?”
“Somethin' like it,” Applejack answered.

“That’s actually kind of… cool,” Rainbow Dash said before turning her attention back to Chris and staring at him as he simply stared back at her. Sighing to herself, she rubbed the back of her head bashfully. “Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that. I’m just more of the act first, ask questions later, type of pony.”

“It’s not a big deal: we didn’t come to blows with each other, so no harm done,” Chris reasoned. “And I’m sorry about…well, you know. It was insensitive of me.”

Rainbow Dash waved a dismissive hoof at his apology. “You didn’t know. Besides, it just makes you weird, not insensitive. By the way, the name's Rainbow Dash, the fastest and most awesome pony in all of Equestria.”

‘Let’s add egoistical to the list with brash,’ Chris mused before giving his own name. “The name’s Chris.”

“Chris? That’s a weird name," Rainbow Dash said.

“It’s actually pretty standard where I come from,” Chris stated.

“Speaking of which, where in the hay did you come from?” Rainbow Dash asked while orbiting around Chris, trying to observe him from every angle.

Chris sighed. “How about I tell you when we meet this... Fluttershy, was it?” Chris offered. “I’m sure Fluttershy will want to hear all about it too, and I’d rather not explain it twice.”

“Well, then let’s get a move on already,” Rainbow Dash ordered as she took charge in leading the way towards Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Best ta just follow her,” Applejack said with a shrug, as she, along with the crusaders, followed after Rainbow Dash with Chris and Rarity following a short distance behind.

“Um, Mr. Chris, I feel I must also apologize about my earlier statement,” Rarity spoke a bit nervously.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Chris asked while looking down at Rarity.

“The comment I made about you having an interest in mares,” she explained. “When I said it, you had a rather appalled expression on your face. I’m not sure of how things work on your world, but the idea of interspecies relationships seemed somewhat disturbing to you. I feel as though I may have offended you by saying what I did, and for that I am most sorry.”

Chris looked at Rarity with an understanding expression as he spoke. “I guess I haven’t met that many ponies, but you’re definitely the keenest one so far. That’s why I feel like I can speak to you without sugarcoating things, so I’ll level with you.”

It took all Rarity had not to grin at the praise and Chris’s apparent faith in her.

“You’re right about…well, me feeling uncomfortable about what you said,” Chris explained. “It’s not that you ponies are ugly or anything like that, trust me you look miles better then ponies on my world. It’s more the fact that humans are the only sapient beings on our entire planet, so it’s hard to fathom something like that.” Chris stared at Rarity with an unsure expression on his face, but Rarity appeared to be taking the information with a neutral expression.

“No offense, I can’t look at you ponies without seeing a well…” Chris stopped.

“An animal?” Rarity finished for him.

“Yeah…sorry if that hurts your feelings.” Chris offered.

Rarity merely smiled. “Darling, it’s quite alright, it’s only natural you would feel such a way. Especially if there are animal counter parts of us on your world, which still sounds simply unbelievable.”

“I can see how that would be a hard pill to swallow. It's not everyday someone comes along and tells you, you're just an animal where they're from.” Chris laughed at the thought.

Rarity smiled as well. “Thank you, Mr. Chris, for sharing this information with me,” Rarity said. “I’m normally not intrigued by this sort of thing, but even I find everything about you and your world quit fascinating.”

“If I weren’t so concerned with how I was going to get home, I’m pretty sure I’d be having a fascinating experience as well,” Chris said with a pitiable chuckle. “By the way, I can tell you like to speak proper, but the whole 'Mr.' thing is starting to make me feel old. Just Chris is good enough.”

“Horse apples, and here I was just about to suggest you refer to me as Miss Rarity,” Rarity said with a pout.
“Really?” Chris asked with a dumb expression on his face.

“Of course not, Chris. That was merely a joke,” Rarity said with a slight giggle. “Although, Miss Rarity does sound absolutely divine, does it not?”

Chris and Rarity shared a laugh while the others turned and looked at them curiously.

“We miss something funny?” Rainbow Dash called back.

“Nothing, darling,” Rarity returned.

Rainbow Dash shrugged before pointing up ahead. “Oh, look, we’re here!” she shouted out.

Rarity took that moment to address Chris. “A fair bit of warning, Chris, Fluttershy is a rather…timid pony. She may very well be terrified of you, but please do not take it personally. I promise she’ll eventually warm up to you, if given the time.”

“I think I’m already learning to not take anything personally here,” Chris assured Rarity. “Besides, I had my suspicions about her.”

“How so?” Rarity asked.

“Her name's Fluttershy, and I’ve noticed your names seem to tell at least at little bit about yourselves,” Chris answered. “Which is weird in and of itself when I think about it. How would a parent know what their child was going to grow to be like?”

“That is rather interesting. I must admit I never considered that myself. But I suppose it’s just one of those things parents know” Rarity said, as they finally entered Fluttershy’s yard.

Chris stared around the area, taking note of the numerous cages and bird houses, along with a generous amount of woodland animals scampering around in the yard. Chris thought the whole thing looked like a page ripped out of an old, classic Disney movie. Among all that, seeing the animals, he instantly realized why Applejack suggested they come here, but didn’t take offense to it.

“Hey, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash called out, as she knocked a hoof on the door of a cottage that was literally covered in foliage, giving it a natural appearance that almost blended into the nature around it.

A moment later a quiet voice resounded from the opposite side of the door. “J-just a moment,” it called, as the door creaked open and a butter cream yellow pegasus with a pink mane that hung gracefully from her head stepped out.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash, it's nice of you to visit…” Fluttershy stopped as she took note of all the ponies in her yard, along with something she hadn’t recognized, standing in the back with Rarity. She remained still for a moment as she stared Chris down.

“Oh, yeah, you’re probably wondering what that is ov….” Rainbow Dash began, however, before she could finish, Futtershy had taken off towards Chris with a speed Rainbow Dash didn’t know she was capable of.

Chris's eyes widened as Fluttershy darted towards him. He actually debated running, for all he knew these ponies had played him and had brought him to Fluttershy so she could do away with him.

Before Chris could make up his mind on whether to run or not, Fluttershy was already there and was now trotting around him frantically with a worried expression on her face.

“You poor thing, what’s happened to you?” she asked in a motherly tone while surveying Chris’s numerous cuts and bruises. “You have so many injuries, it’s absolutely terrible.” she said while grabbing one of Chris’s arms in her hoof and staring at a nasty gash in disapproval. “Don’t you worry, I’ll have you as good as new in no time.”

Chris looked at Rarity, who had an expression on her face that was equally as confused as the expression on his.

“I thought she was shy?” Chris stated.

“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy gasped. “You can talk!”

Well guys first off I have to thank everyone for reading and supporting this story. Thanks to you guys this story got featured and I’ve gotten a lot more readers. It makes me both happy and nervous, now that I’m not writing for just a few people. With more readers comes more conflicting opinions and it will be a challenge to keep everyone satisfied. I do take suggestions and opinions into account so feel free to sound off in the comment section on your thoughts. On another note this story may actually be longer then I first thought since I won’t be reaching the main plot point that will justify the adventure tag for still some time. Anyway as always I’ll see you with the next chapter Sonson21 out.

P.S. I changed the cover art to give you guys a face to go along with Chris. Instead of the one I had with Keon’s face in shadow, hopefully it’s an improvement.

Chapter 13: Conflicting Interest

Chapter 13: Conflicting Interest

Conflicting Interest

Chris sat alone in the Canterlot archives, practically drowning himself in the wealth of knowledge the vast library provided. Having been brought up to speed on what had left both him and Keon stranded in this strange land, dubbed Equestria of Equis, he now had a new goal in mind. Setting down the third book on the indigenous wildlife of Equestria that he had gone through, he sighed, thinking of his dilemma.

Having read a primer on the valley of the changing seasons, he figured that getting home would not be a simple task, perhaps even insurmountable. The valley didn’t sound like anything that could exist in the waking world.

Every facet of the valley was in an ever shifting flux. The weather and its erratic timetable, constantly changed from blistering heat, freezing rains and hallucinogenic fog to powerful wind squalls, while the oxygen there could be perfectly fine one moment, then dangerously thin the next. Even the ground itself could shift without warning, giving birth to chasms in only minutes. If the sheer nature of the place wasn’t enough to kill the dynamic duo of him and Keon, the animals there would surely be up to the job.

On further thought, he couldn’t help but wonder what possessed the EONs to believe that nesting in such a place was even remotely a good idea. Having seen an EON in the flesh, he couldn’t even compare the docile looking bird to the other animals, if that were even the right term to use when referring to the monsters that called that place home.

Aside from the danger, procuring an EON wouldn’t guarantee a free ride back to his world either. According to what Celestia and Luna had divulged, taming the creatures to use their abilities for practical use had failed in the past.

So, what was the plan? Dive in headfirst into a death pit in the hopes of catching a rare bird that could warp time and space, then tame and train said bird to send them back to the world they had come from. He held no delusions, the idea sounded half baked at best, but the alternative would be to stay in wonderland.

The sane part of him didn’t like that idea in the slightest. There was simply too much to consider losing: his mother, sister, friends, humanity and the very life that he had planned for himself. Although, the less rational and more adventurous side of him looked to the silver lining; he’d been given an opportunity no man before him had. A chance to live and see wonderful and impossible things, only ever brought to fruition in fiction.

“Can’t a guy have his cake and eat it too?” Chris grumbled, as he reached for another book on the inhabitants of the world of Equis.

This was the fourth one of its kind he skimmed through, as he found them the most intriguing. The amount of sapient life on the planet was, for a lack of better words, confusing. It was as though the intelligent life was chosen by luck of the draw, with evolution having very little to do with the actual process. Perhaps magic was the key factor in the grand scheme of things. He theorized that beings that were more in tune with the magic around them probably held a higher probability of breaking past the limitations of normal animals. Or perhaps whatever god they prayed to simply drew names from a hat at its leisure.

The sound of the large library door opening jarred Chris from his musings, and he watched as a pony frantically entered and slammed the door shut behind her, quickly locking it.

“Those reporters are like vultures, aren’t they?” Chris greeted the purple mare he’d come to know as Twilight Sparkle.

“More like a pack of rabid timberwolves,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “I can’t even walk down the hallway without somepony trying to interview me about the pair of humans staying in the castle.”

“Lucky for me, I had guard assistance when coming to the library,” Chris said, chuckling as he remembered his assigned guard chasing away more than half a dozen reporters that had tried to corner him on his way to get some breakfast a couple of hours ago.

Twilight briskly cantered up to Chris and took the seat directly in front of him. “At this point, having snooping reporters around can’t be helped,” she added, before she used her magic to pull out a newspaper from within her saddlebag and offered it to Chris.

Chris reached for the paper held within Twilight’s magic and caused the small field of magic to fizzle out like a wet firecracker.

Twilight frowned. “This human resistance to magic is perplexing to say the least. In fact, it’s in need of extensive study,” Twilight said, as she considered the abnormality carefully. “I wonder if it’s only unicorn magic that’s rendered less effective, or does it extend to magical plants and potions, the magic in nature or even chaos magic like Discord's, as well?”

Chris didn’t really believe it was cause for concern, as Twilight seemed to think it was. In truth, the idea of being completely at the mercy of anything disciplined in magic didn’t sit all too well with him to begin with. Choosing not to respond to Twilight’s statement, he stared at the newspaper he’d just procured. “Wow, we made the front page,” Chris said, not sounding at all surprised.

Twilight nodded, took the hint that Chris wasn’t interested in discussing his apparent magic immunity and left the matter alone.

“This isn’t just the local paper either,” Twilight said. “This is special world newspaper that’s being distributed to every kingdom, country, and continent. Before the end of the week, there won’t be a single citizen on Equis that doesn’t know of our two human visitors.”

Chris sat the paper down and leaned back in his chair. “This is all happening so fast. It hasn’t even been a full day since some of Canterlot’s finest tried to buy me off of Rarity like a piece of jewelry. Now I’m an overnight celebrity ducking news reporters.”

“Well, naturally the world will want to know all about you,” Twilight reasoned. “With you being here comes many questions and views from the public, the main being: what does your presence here mean for our future? Is it something to be welcomed or feared?”

“And so here you are, in hopes of getting those answers, huh?” Chris asked.

“I guess my intentions are as clear as glass,” Twilight answered. “As it so happens, I’ve been tasked by Princess Celestia herself to produce a written work on humankind. It’s a necessary step before humanity can be properly assimilated into our world.”

“Assimilated? You actually want our ideas and culture to be a part of your world?” Chris asked with a raised brow, as he grabbed the newspaper and pointed to a picture on the far left corner. “You’re okay with more stuff like this?” he asked. “And this is really only the tip of the iceberg.”

Twilight read the large caption. “Humans bring new dance.” The picture being of an obviously intoxicated Keon grinning like a fool, with Pinkie Pie’s rump pressed against his crotch.

Twilight blushed slightly. “Well, I’m sure there are some things we’d probably be better off without, but that’s not my decision to make; the choice should be there for every pony to make themselves.”

Chris shrugged. “Suit yourself, but when a marijuana dispensary opens up don’t act like I didn’t warn you,” he said, before reaching back for his book and picking up where he’d left off before Twilight had come in.

Twilight tilted her head to read the spine of the book. “To Know Thy Self?” she read aloud. “That’s a very detailed book on pony anatomy, why an interest in that?”

“Because I haven’t been able to make heads or tails of how your bodies can contort the way they do. Your thick, cylindrical legs are like nothing I’ve ever seen, having an even larger range of motion than a human arm,” Chris answered, not looking up from the book. “But even looking at these diagrams, I’m just more baffled than anything. I mean, your spines look more similar to what you might find in let’s say a weasel as opposed to an equine…” Chris paused, as he sat his book down and extended a hand towards Twilight. “Mind if I see your hoof?”

“…Okay,” Twilight said while tentatively stretching out her right forehoof towards Chris.

Chris reached out and held Twilight’s foreleg with his left hand, enticing a small giggle from her, while he simply raised a brow.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how soft human hands were,” was Twilight’s response, “please, continue.”

Shrugging, Chris rubbed his palm on the underside of her hoof, feeling a slight resistance. “I think your hooves interest me the most,” he said. “There’s a modicum of elasticity and softness at the bottom, yet the outer layer is still firm, but not quite as tough as hooves composed of keratin, and you’re able to compensate for the lack of digits with the fine hairs on the bottom of your hooves. It’s a similar trick insects use to cling to walls, but obviously on a lesser scale. Still not as useful as a hand, but you can grip things fairly decent right?”

Twilight simply nodded her response.

“At first, I thought the differences between ponies from my world and you only ran skin deep, aside from magic of course, but it’s much more than that. You guys are truly something else entirely. It’s a lot to take in, really,” Chris concluded as he let go of Twilight’s hoof.

“From what Keon has told me, the ponies in your world sound more like the natives of Saddle Arabia,” Twilight said with a pensive expression.

Chris nodded his agreement. “Yeah, I read a little about them too, but it’s still about as close to comparing humans to chimpanzees. Sure, we share the bulk of our DNA and have things in common, but we’re still worlds apart.”

“You know, you’re a lot more studious than I would have guessed,” Twilight admitted. “Just how long have you been up here in the library, studying all this material?” she asked curiously.

“I came in here about a quarter to six,” Chris said. “I figured I’d cram as much as I could while I had some time to myself. I mean, at least one of the two humans here should be well versed in general knowledge of your world.”

“Keon asked for a few books on the local wildlife and flora, but that’s about as much initiative he has taken to learn, unlike you,” Twilight said, as she began to remove materials and parchment from her saddlebags and placed them on the table they were sitting at. “Then again, he did say no human is the same.”

“He’s always been a more 'play it by ear' type of guy,” Chris responded while flipping the page on the book he had been reading. “My self, well, I like to know where I’m going and how I’m getting there.”

Twilight looked thoughtful. “That reminds me of somepony else.”

“That so?” Chris said, as he focused his attention back on Twilight. “So, by the look of all the quills and parchment you’ve scattered around, I guess my questioning begins now?”

“Well, if you don’t mind, I was kind of hoping after all,” she said with a sheepish grin. “I’ve already gathered a great amount of data from Keon that covered general knowledge of humans. Social orders, family structures, diets, basic physiology, etcetera.”

“Sounds like you’ve got the gist of it,” Chris ventured. “So, what do you need from me?”

“Your perspective,” Twilight answered. “Since you’ve been out and about I’d like to know how our world appears through your eyes.”

“It’s colorful,” Chris deadpanned.

“Colorful,” Twilight echoed. “I assumed you’d have more of an opinion than that.”

Chris chuckled. “I’m kidding. Truthfully, I’ve been taking my own notes since I woke up here,” Chris said, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his small notepad and tossed it to Twilight. “There, I just saved you a tedious interview; feel free to thank me.”

Twilight smiled as she took the notepad in her magic, but paused as she did so.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked, as he had noticed that Twilight was simply staring at the floating notepad.

“Is this notepad from your world?” she asked, while bouncing the notepad up and down within her magical grasp.

“Yep, bought it at a Walgreens. What of it?” Chris returned.

“That’s strange: This notepad isn’t hampering my magic, like Keon’s netbook,” Twilight said.

“And that means…?” Chris continued.

“Well, when using magic for manipulation, you have to take control over the natural magic that resides within and around the object in question,” Twilight explained. “Since you come from a world without magic, there’s none that resides in you or anything that you’ve brought here. So, I could only control the magic around the item, making the task much more strenuous than it should be. But it seems like this notepad has accepted the magic around it. I’m willing to bet by this point it should be the same for any inanimate object you’ve come with.”

“So, you’re saying I’ll eventually lose what resistance to magic I have?” Chris asked with a slight scowl.

“Ah, so now you’re interested, huh?” Twilight teased with a smirk. “Like I’ve said before, this needs extensive study. But if I had to guess, I don’t think you’re in any danger of losing that resistance,” Twilight answered. “Unlike your notepad, your body isn’t just void of magic, it's actively repelling magic. How it’s doing that is the actual brain buster here.”

“If you were able to come up with that so easily, I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually,” Chris replied, getting a simple nod from Twilight in return before she brought the notepad to her face and skimmed through it, nodding every so often.

“I see you’re curious about our gender ratio,” She noted. “You’ve guessed that it’s six to one in favor of mares.”

“That was my first guess, but there’s enough stallion guards around here to make me reconsider that,” Chris admitted.

“As far as the world goes it’s actually along the lines of one colt born for every four fillies born. It just so happens that Ponyville has an even larger imbalance, closer to your speculation,” Twilight said. “And I’m sure you’d be surprised to find out just how many of those guards are actually mares,” she added to a now flabbergasted Chris.

“But I was sure that…”

“It’s a simple enchantment on the armor they wear,” Twilight quickly explained. “Princess Celestia likes the conformity the illusion gives,” she finished as she sat the notepad down and beamed at Chris. “Now, not that your notes weren’t appreciated, but this won’t be enough to get you out of our time together.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” Chris replied with a sigh.

Twilight looked pleased with herself. “Cheer up a little, I promise this will be a completely painless experience. Besides, it’s not like you have any prior engagements, right?”

“Actually, I was hoping to speak to Celestia today about my plans to visit the valley of the changing seasons.” Chris replied matter-of-factly.

Twilight’s quill dropped from the magic she was holding it with. “Not you too,” Twilight said with a perturbed expression. “I was hoping, between the pair of you and Keon, that you’d be the one with enough sense to realize that’s a fool’s errand.”

“A fool’s errand?” Chris repeated. “Under any other circumstances I’d agree with you, but I owe it to Keon and myself to at least try and get us back. We’re a dimension away from home, and it’s all my damn fault.”

Twilight was simply silent for a moment as she turned her attention to the book at the bottom of Chris’s pile and read the spine of it. “If you read that book, then you know what’s in store for you in that place, yet you’re still fine with going there?”

Chris sighed. “I have to try, that’s all I can do.”

“You don’t have to do it,” Twilight reasoned. “I mean, surely there has to be some upside to being here, isn’t there?” she persisted.

“Yeah, no jury duty,” Chris deadpanned, the joke clearly lost on Twilight. “Just imagine if the roles were reversed. Your family, friends and the very world you knew all snatched away right from under your feet without you having a say in the matter. It isn’t that easy to simply cut your losses without giving it your all first.”

Twilight was quiet, her ears drooping, as she mulled over what Chris had said. “I’m sorry. I get so wrapped up in my own world that I forget that both you and Keon had your own lives before arriving here.”

“Don’t sweat it. Besides, humans are the most stubborn breed you can imagine,” Chris said. “Hell, who’s to say we won’t make it out of that place in one piece?”

“Humans sure can be reckless,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “But even with such confidence, I should warn you that Princess Celestia won’t be so quick to let you endanger your life like this,” Twilight explained. “You have to realize that your position here is extremely… unique. As of today there’s enough protection on you and Keon to rival any of our most endangered species.”

“There’s been protective laws passed for us?” Chris asked, finding it hard to believe. “How’d that happen so fast?”

“Princess Celestia drew up the official decree a couple of days ago, after Keon was discovered,” Twilight said. “She only needed to place you two under the protection of an existing law on endangered species.”

Chris clenched his fist in irritation. “Not that I don’t appreciate the concern, but I will be accountable for my own life. Celestia will just have to understand my life isn’t her responsibility.”

“Well, technically speaking, so long as you’re within Equestria you fall under the jurisdiction of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” Twilight countered. “That does make it their obligation to keep you safe, and I’m afraid they may put a short leash on you in order to do that. I know it may sound unfair, but it’s for the sake of maintaining harmonious relations with humans.”

“How is putting me on house arrest a harmonious gesture?” Chris returned with more heat than he intended.

“Say more humans eventually come along in the future and find out that we let something terrible happen to you while you were in our care,” Twilight said, attempting to rationalize her point. “I know it’s unlikely; however, the blame may fall on us, and your people may seek vengeance. This is all hypothetically speaking of course, but every possibility must be considered before moving forward.”

Chris was quiet for a moment as he mulled over what Twilight had said. He imagined that if the roles had been reversed that his people would have done something similar, or more along the lines of a quarantine, until something better could be figured out. In light of the situation, Celestia’s protective precautions made sense to him, they were perhaps even justified, but that didn’t mean he had to like it and he didn’t. Frowning, he pushed his chair back and stood up. “Where can I speak with Celestia?”

“You don’t need to be so hasty,” Twilight stated. “We’re scheduled to have lunch with the princesses and the ambassadors at noon. You can express all of your grievances there,” she said, as she pointed her hoof down at the table. “Now, please sit. We still have our own business to complete after all.”

“Fine,” Chris huffed, as he took back his seat, fighting back the urge to find and confront Celestia at that very moment.

Meanwhile

Keon let out a loud yawn as he stretched his aching limbs. His head pounded something fierce, like someone had played a game of hacky sack with his brain. As he rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to ease the pain, he stared around his confines blankly.

He noticed that he was in the room that Celestia and Luna had provided for him, although he couldn’t recall when he’d made his way back to it. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he nearly screamed upon seeing the pale purple eyes of Gummy staring back at him. Apparently, the toothless gator had decided that his chest was as good of a place as any to relax.

“This is the second time you damn near gave me a heart attack,” Keon grumbled, as he stared Gummy down, only getting a blank look from the alligator in return. “So, why the hell are you chilling with me anyway? Shouldn’t you be with…” Keon trailed off after spotting two sleeping ponies at the foot of his bed, huddled around his netbook.

Pinkie was easy enough for him to recognize; however, the cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane currently snoring like a wild horse had him drawing blanks, yet she felt familiar all the same.

“So, what’s with this having a sleepover in my room?” Keon grumbled, removing Gummy from his chest and sliding his legs away from underneath the cover and over the side of the bed, kicking something in the process. He looked to what his foot had just connected with and was surprised to find another pony sleeping on the ground. He didn’t have a clue who this one was either. She was a white unicorn with a mane colored in two shades of blue and he’d just kicked her full on in the face, sending her purple shades skidding across the ground. To her credit, she didn’t even twitch.

“Alright, what the hell is going on here?” Keon muttered and looked down at himself and realized that he was clad only in his boxers. ‘There’s no way in hell I was drunk enough to do what I’m praying I didn’t do last night, especially if an alligator took part in the festivities,’ he thought, as he rose to his feet and walked over the sleeping unicorn and towards the bathroom, Gummy following close behind him.

“So, I got shit faced last night. That much I’m sure of,” Keon recapped to Gummy, as he stood in front of the john, dropping his boxers half way down his ass. “Chris showed up at some point, I think, or was that a dream?”

“That wasn’t a dream,” a tired sounding Rainbow Dash interjected, as she sluggishly made her way into the bathroom and towards the sink, turning on the faucet when she arrived.

Keon watched in bewilderment, as Rainbow Dash splashed water on her face, apparently not caring for the fact that he was bleeding the lizard a few feet away from her.

“By the way, why are you just standing in front of the toilet like that?” Dash asked, as she grabbed a nearby towel to dry her face. “It’s sorta weird,” she added.

“Can a guy even take a piss in private?” Keon replied a bit irritably. “It’s bad enough Gummy wants front row tickets to the show.”

Dash quirked her brow before realization dawned on her. “So, you pee standing up like that? Jeez, you humans get weirder and weirder,” she commented, as she rummaged through a cabinet in search of the spare tooth brushes. “Don’t mind me. Jus' go on about your business.”

“I was going to do that without your consent anyway,” Keon said, as he got back to the literal task at hand. “Just keep your eyes that way.”

Dash shrugged. “Trust me, I’ve seen enough of your bits to last a lifetime.”

“Come again?” Keon replied.

“Who do you think cleaned you up after you passed out in your own upchuck?” Dash asked, as she finally managed to find the toothbrushes. “Pinkie and me had to drag you up here while you were kicking and screaming like a new born foal. Then throw you into the bath, it’s a good thing Pinkie had so much left over duct tape. I mean, were you really so out of it you don’t remember any of that?”

“So, out of it, I don’t even know who the hell you are,” Keon said as he pulled his boxers back up.

“You can’t even remember the pegasus you wanted to take for a ride?” Dash said with a frown at being forgotten. “The name is Rainbow Dash, and don’t forget it this time,” she warned with a frown directed towards him. “But anyway, I guess it’s probably a good thing you don’t remember all the details of last night,” Dash replied with a wave of her hoof.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Keon said, as he sat down on the seat of the toilet and cupped his face in his hands in an effort to alleviate the pain from the relentless pounding of his headache.

Dash was quiet for a moment, looking as though she didn’t know how to say what she wanted before finally answering. “Well…let’s just say we found humans get uh… excited pretty easily.”

Keon’s eyes widened in horror. “Just kill me now…” Almost as if in an effort to grant Keon’s request, Gummy chose that moment to leap up and bite down on Keon’s head. His heart skipped a beat, but he was quickly reminded of Gummy’s absence of teeth and apparent lack of jaw strength, only feeling an annoying pressure from the gnawing of Pinkie’s odd pet.

“He must really like you: I only ever seen him chew on Pinkie like that,” Dash commented.

“That a fact?” Keon said, as he made to pry Gummy off of his head.

Dash nodded. “Yeah, but like I was trying to say, we know you humans don’t like to be seen without clothes or whatever, so the plan was to let Chris scrub you down, but he said he wouldn’t touch your naked body with a ten foot pole,” Dash explained with a tint of pink on her cheeks. “So, Pinkie volunteered to do it, and well, she’d barely even touched you before you were in full salute.”

“Peachy, just the news I wanted to hear to go along with this damn hangover,” Keon grumbled before adopting an amused grin. ‘Reminds me of that time my mom caught me rubbing one out to BBW porn.’ “No, that was so much worse.”

“What?” Dash returned, not having heard him.

“I said, why in hell did I wake up to three ponies in my room?”

“Oh yeah, sorry about that, crashing on your bed and all. It’s just Pinkie was going on and on to me and Vinyl about that netbook thing you have with the funny cartoons on it,” Dash explained. “We were up all night watching them, and I guess we just lost track of time and fell asleep in the middle of it,” she concluded, just as she finished brushing her teeth. “By the way, that net doohickey thing is totally sweet. You think you could get me one?”

“Do I look like Santa Claus?” Keon said dryly. “Besides, I’m stuck here.”

“Oh yeah, I guess I forgot,” Dash said dismissively, as she trotted towards the bathroom door. “And before I forget, Rarity said she wanted to talk to you in private about something.”

“Rarity?” Keon repeated.

“Yeah, white unicorn, fancy purple mane, a bit pompous. Ringing any bells?” Dash asked impatiently, waiting for some form of an answer.

“I got white-girl wasted last night,” was Keon’s completely genius retort, as he stood up. “But never mind that, where’s my boy Chris at?”

“Check the room next to this one,” Dash said, as she stretched out her wings, popping a few bones at the base of her wings. “Think I’m gonna go stretch out the old feathers for a bit. You should come watch. If you wanna see some totally awesome moves, that is,” she added, hoping to have at least one audience member to impress.

“Think I’ll take a rain check on that one,” Keon said, as he made his way to the sink to freshen himself up a bit.

“Suit yourself,” Dash said with a roll of her eyes, feeling slightly dejected as she left the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

After having finished with his own morning rituals, Keon left the bathroom and quickly found his backpack. Taking out a pair of pants, he slipped them on and threw on his olive colored hoodie, along with his headband.

Satisfied with himself, he headed for the door, but stopped as he heard Pinkie giggling in her sleep. ‘Who the hell laughs in their sleep?’ Keon wondered. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he backtracked towards Pinkie.

“Jesus, is she never not happy?” Keon muttered to Gummy, who seemed bent on following him around like a lost puppy. “Even when she’s off in dreamland, that damn smile doesn’t leave her face,” he said, as he made to scratch Pinkie behind the ears, making her grin and giggle even more. ‘Why do you ponies have to be so damn plush?’

“It must be nice be so carefree all the time,” Vinyl piped up with a loud yawn, settling her cerise colored eyes on Keon. “Pinkie Pie, I mean.”

“You know, you ponies have a bad habit of speaking up when I’m not talking to you,” Keon said, as he sat down on the bed next to Pinkie, still scratching her behind the ears absentmindedly.

“Then why say it out loud for anypony to hear?” Vinyl countered, now wiping the sleep from her eyes. “Jeez, feels like somepony bucked me in the head,” she grumbled while massaging the sore spot.

“You sure it doesn’t feel more like a human kicked you in the face?” Keon quipped.

Vinyl frowned. “You kicked me in the face?”

Keon smiled in what he thought was an innocent manner. “It was an accident. Besides, no one told you to sleep right on the side of the bed like that.”

Vinyl stood up and trotted over to her shades that were a few feet away. “There wasn’t any room left on the bed, but there was plenty of carpet right there,” she explained, as she put her shades back on. “Oh yeah, you might want to stop all the scratching, rubbing or whatever you’re doing, unless it’s your aim to get Pinkie all hot and bothered like that.”

“Wha?” Keon mumbled turning his attention back to Pinkie. Her tail was twitching frantically, while her hind legs kneaded against the sheets and a large pool of drool was forming near her mouth. The entire time a content smile was plastered on her face. “Wait, she’s actually…”

“Let’s put it this way, keep that up any longer and you’ll need to change the sheets on that bed,” Vinyl said with an amused smirk. “If you couldn’t tell by her body’s reaction, you should probably pick up a book on the matter before you make the mistake of doing something really sensual,” she warned. “I can’t be sure what would happen if you did that while she was in her estrus cycle.”

Keon was quiet for a moment as he thought about what Vinyl had just said. “Nothing would happen,” he finally managed to say. “Or are you forgetting that we’re completely…well, different?”

Vinyl raised her brow over the frame of her shades. “What’s your point?” she argued.

Keon became silent once again before he furrowed his brow at Vinyl. “My point is that something like that wouldn’t fly where I’m from, and that’s all there is too it,” he said.

“Last time I checked we aren’t where you’re from,” Vinyl shot back. “So, who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?” Vinyl persisted, taking amusement in Keon’s flustered appearance.

Keon rolled his eyes. “You know what? I’m way too hungover to deal with this shit,” he said, as he stood up and walked passed Vinyl. “Catch you later, whatever your name is,” he finished before opening the door and exiting.

After shutting the door behind himself he shook his head at seeing that Gummy was still at his feet. Kneeling down towards Gummy, he regarded him with confusion. “Look, I don’t have any food if that’s what this is all about. Besides, what does a toothless wonder like you even eat?” he tried and only got the same blank stare the alligator seemed singularly capable of giving. “Fine.” Keon sighed as he stretched out his hand, allowing Gummy to climb up his arm and drape himself over his shoulder. “I guess you’re hanging out with me today,” he said, as he stood up and stared around the hallway with a frown.

“Yeah, check the room next to this one she said,” Keon grumbled in irritation, recalling where Rainbow Dash had told him he could find Chris. Both to his left and right were doors to other rooms and there was another one directly in front of him as well.

Pointing his index finger at the door to his left he began to recite: “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger…ah, fuck it, door number one it is,” he decided, before he walked to the door directly ahead of him and knocked on it.

“Coming, coming,” a singsong voice called from the opposite side, a moment before the door opened, revealing a white unicorn.

‘Of course I’d choose the wrong door,’ Keon thought bitterly, observing the unicorn carefully. Just from her appearance alone he pegged her as a snooty little rich girl, probably a real bitch too. “Sorry, wrong room,” he offered, as he made to turn around but not before the mare stepped in front of his path.

“Nonsense, Mr. Keon, you’re just the…“ She paused, as she stared at Gummy in confusion for a brief moment before continuing. “Person I was hoping to see,” she said, as she started to nudge him towards her room. “Now, please do come in.”

Keon sighed. “I take it you must be the one Skittles called Rarity?”

Rarity looked confused. “Beg your pardon, Skittles?”

“You know, taste the rainbow?” Keon tried “It’s a joke, admittedly not a very good one.”

Rarity forced a giggle. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t understand your… quips, is it?”

“I’m getting used to my wit going over everyone’s heads here,” Keon said with a shrug. “But I doubt you wanted to hear dry jokes from me. So, what can I do for you?”

Rarity’s answer was to use her horn to nudge Keon towards her room. “Come, Darling, we can discuss it over tea,” she said, as she herded Keon into her room and shut the door.

Keon looked around the room curiously. For the most part it shared the same basic design of the room he had been given, although the color scheme was different, focusing on purples and pinks rather than the reds and browns of his own room.

“Have a seat anywhere you’d like,” Rarity offered, as she trotted over to a nearby table with a kettle sitting on it and began pouring two cups of tea.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he sat down in the chair nearest to him and waited for Rarity to finish preparing the tea.

“How do you take your tea?” Rarity inquired. “One sugar cube or two?”

“Make it six,” Keon answered. “I’m not driving.”

“Six!?” Rarity gasped.

“What can I say, I like sweet stuff?” Keon supplied with a shrug.

“I didn’t realize I was serving tea for Pinkie Pie, but if you insist,” Rarity relented, as she used her magic to drop six of the cubes into Keon’s cup and made her way over towards him.

Taking the offered cup of tea, he watched as Rarity clambered into a chair opposite him and sipped on her own tea with an unnecessary amount of poise.

“Now, first order of business,” Rarity started, setting her tea aside. “Who was it that designed your ensemble, the one you were wearing last night?”

“Are you kidding, all you want is to know who made my clothes?” Keon said, feeling that she could have asked him that in the hallway and saved them both the time. Rolling his eyes, he answered, “She was some chick named Tailor Made.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up upon hearing the name. “Oh, I just knew it had to be somepony of her grade,” she squealed. “The stitching, the fabric choice, the attention to detail…”

“Glad I could help,” Keon cut her off, as he stood up. “I’ll be on my way now.”

“Not so fast,” Rarity said, before her horn shimmered in a light blue aura, a matching one covering the chair behind Keon and causing it to push forward, hitting him behind the legs and forcing him back into the seat.

“Well, I guess I’m staying then,” Keon said with slight chagrin.

“Forgive me for having done something so unladylike like,” Rarity said, as she got up and trotted towards her night stand. “I simply had to know who designed your clothing first; however, that is not what I truly wanted to speak with you about,” she explained, as she returned with something held in her magic that Keon instantly recognized as the fortune card Zuri had given him.

“Before the maids took the clothing you sullied to be cleaned, they found the most peculiar item in one of your pockets,” Rarity explained while she held the card within her magic. “What exactly does this mean, Mr. Keon?”

Keon scratched the side of his head as he regarded Rarity for a moment. “Believe it or not Sweetheart, but that card depicts my supposed future. At least that’s what a certain zebra believes.”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “You mean to tell me that you will…Oh, I just can’t believe it!” she squealed like a filly. “How can something like this have happened? There’s just so much we have to discuss,” Keon snatched the card out of Rarity’s magic and stuffed it into his pocket, silencing the giddy mare.

“Before you get carried away, we aren’t discussing this any further. No one else was even supposed to look at the damn thing,” Keon stated. “So, keep what you saw to yourself.”

Rarity was quiet for a moment as she thought on what Keon had said. “I can see why the implications of that card may be something you don’t wish to speak of. Even so, as the gentlecolt I’m sure you are, can you answer a lady this?” Rarity pleaded. “Do you believe its fortune to be true?”

Keon looked as though he was having an internal struggle with himself and his throat suddenly felt very dry. “...I don’t believe anyone knows the future, but then again, I didn’t believe in magic or talking ponies a few days ago either,” Keon answered in a roundabout way, just as the room began to darken.

Both Rarity and Keon looked around in confusion.

“Why did it get so dark all of a sudden?” Keon said, before he stood up and made his way over towards the window to look out. “Is it supposed to rain or something?”

“I wasn’t aware of it,” Rarity answered, quickly joining Keon to peer out the window, only to have her heart skip a beat at what was currently blocking out the sun.

Keon’s eyes widened in a mixture of fear and excitement wrapped into one. “Well, I’ll be damned, are those what I think they are?”

“I don’t think those brutes can be mistaken for anything but what they are,” Rarity answered.

Meanwhile

Celestia frowned, as her chambers shook violently from the weight of something very large landing on her palace grounds. “So, they decided to show themselves after all,” she whispered, as she looked up from the heaps of paperwork and documents that needed to be filed and recorded on account of her two human visitors. Standing up, she trotted towards her balcony, using her magic to open the large glass doors, and sauntered onto the balcony to greet whoever had decided to show up at her home unannounced.

Four massive dragons stood waiting for Celestia, their immense frames casting Celestia’s balcony in shadow. Each one of them was taller than the highest spire in Canterlot.

She recognized them immediately, for these four dragons stood at the very summit of the dragon hierarchy. Although dragons were mostly nomadic, all dragons faithfully followed dragon code or dragon law written by these four dragons, known as the four elements council.

The first, a rough, old looking gray dragon, craned his neck down towards Celestia and scrutinized her with a huge, bright yellow, slitted eye before adopting a smile.

“Little Tia, it’s been a (cough) thousand years, and you (cough) don’t look like you’ve aged a day,” the dragon said, a rattling cough interrupting every few words. “If I weren’t (cough) five thousand years your (cough) senior, I’d be envious."

“Nonsense, you look wonderful for your age,” Celestia returned with a bright smile of her own. “I dare say, you don’t appear a day over three thousand.”

“You’re too (cough) kind,” the dragon said with a large, toothy grin.

“Perhaps it’s best served that I do the speaking, Draco,” a sky blue dragon cut in with a look of annoyance splayed across his scaly face. “No one wants to see an old dragon like you cough up a lung.”

Celestia furrowed her brow as she looked up towards the very irate looking sky blue dragon, Ultear, if she recalled his name correctly. He was the youngest of the four, having succeeded his master a couple of hundred years prior and gaining his position and title as dragon of the wind.

“We aren’t here to exchange pleasantries, Celestia,” Ultear continued. “We’re here to discuss… the creatures you’ve been housing.”

“If you simply wished to be a part of dealing with this matter, then why did you not answer our summons!?” Luna interrupted using her royal Canterlot voice, as she stepped onto the balcony and stood beside Celestia.

Ultear looked down his long nose at Luna, regarding her with disdain. “We are the four elements council. We answer to no one, especially ponies that may need reminding of their place in this world.”

“Are you threatening me?” Luna challenged, took a confident step forward. “Perhaps it is thou who needs to learn thy place!”

Ultear smirked as the wind began to pick up around him with enough force to tear away pieces of tile off nearby rooftops.

Looking off into the distance, Celestia could make out the citizens of Canterlot scampering about looking for shelter as debris was blown around from the violent gust Ultear was creating.

Luna glared defiantly, igniting her own horn in response. However, before Celestia could begin to defuse the situation, a clawed hand wrapped around Ultear’s throat.

“That’s enough!” Draco roared, as he slammed Ultear to the ground with enough force to shake the very foundation on which they stood. Everything unfortunate enough to be underneath Ultear’s body had simply been crushed.

Ultear glared at Draco from his pinned position.

“Listen here hatchling,” Draco hissed, losing his apparent cough. “You may be of the council of four, but never trample on what those who have come before you have built. We aren’t here to flex our might or start meaningless squabbles, is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Ultear spat through gritted teeth.

“Good, now do try and behave yourself,” Draco said before releasing his grip on Ultear’s throat, allowing the dragon to rise back to his feet and silently stew in his own anger.

“This is the problem with younger dragons,” an aquamarine dragoness with deep purple eyes commented with disdain. “He reminds me of you, Pythius, in your youth at least,” she said. “So quick to start a fight.”

“I won’t argue that, Skyla” Pythius returned. He was colored a deep ruby red with a pair of eyes possessed of a brilliant shade of gold. “I too was a proud, arrogant fool back then.”

Celestia cleared her throat in order to call attention back to herself. “Not that your presence is not warranted…”

Skyla chuckled. “Our arrival may be warranted but it’s not welcomed. But, to be fair, that’s fine, we have never quite seen eye to eye with one another after all. Even so, we will not simply stand idly by and allow you to make decisions that could potentially affect this world’s entire existence.”

“What do you plan to do?” Luna asked in a steely tone and felt as though a fight could ensue over the humans.

“Calm yourself (cough), Princess,” Draco said with a weary smile. “As I’ve said, we didn’t come here (cough) to start a fight. We’re merely here to (cough) ascertain whether or (cough) not these…humans pose any threat…”

Luna cut off Draco. “The only threat these humans pose is against our stagnant way of life. There’s much to be learned from them.”

“We’re sure there is. Alternatively, there can be much to be feared as well,” Pythius argued. “We believe you maybe too emotionally involved with them to see that, if your acting as a mother hen for these beings is any indication.”

Luna grit her teeth, while Celestia merely sighed.

“What is it you wish from us to ease your apprehension?” Celestia asked curiously.

“We only wish to meet with them,” Skyla answered. “We’ll make our own decision regarding them after such.”

“Excuse me, but what decisions do you believe you will be making?” Luna barked. “The humans arrived on our soil; they are under our jurisdiction, not yours. Regardless of what you may find, they will not suffer any form of retribution by your claws.”

“It’s true the creatures may have arrived on your land, but they are not of this world, correct?” Ultear piped in, having finally regained his composure. “That means that they are not protected by your laws, and we’ll handle them as we see fit.”

“That would have been the case, had I not taken precautions beforehoof,” Celestia countered. “The humans have already been integrated into our legal system through a new form of visa that I’ve created, put into effect immediately. Furthermore, seeing as there are only two of them, I felt it appropriate to place them under the protection of the species restoration act. I’m sure you are aware that its protection extends beyond the borders of Equestria.”

‘Damn harlot,’ Ultear thought with venom, but he was careful not to show his anger on his face. “That was very benevolent of you, oh wise Equestrian ruler,” Ultear spoke with sarcasm so thick that it was nearly palpable.

Draco chose that moment to erupt into laughter. “Lighten up hatchling,” he said as he patted Ultear on the back. “If anything, little Tia should be (cough) praised for being so swift to cover any (cough) technicalities that could infringe on her (cough) authority over the humans.”

“I did what I did in order to protect both Mr. Keon and Mr. Chris, nothing more,” Celestia explained. “This is new territory for us all; I simply aim to deal with it to the best of my abilities.”

“You’re doing quite well, and despite Ultear’s lack of tact, it was never our intent to give the impression that we are here to harm the humans if we do not like what we find,” Pythius affirmed. “As for what Skyla meant by our decision, that was in regards to dragon laws that will need to be written regarding the humans,” Pythius explained. “I’m sure you’re aware that most dragons don’t typically follow the rules set by any country, even if they take residence in said country. However, unlike your laws, they will abide by dragon law.”

“I see,” Celestia stated. “Very well, you have my permission to speak with our guest. But take heed, if I sense anything afoul, I will act swiftly and accordingly,” Celestia warned, each dragon realizing the heat on their backs from the sun had become noticeably hotter with her words.

Elsewhere

“So, what do you think that noise was?” Chris asked, as he and Twilight briskly made their way down a corridor in search of the disturbance.

“I can’t be sure, but it had to have come from outside of the castle,” Twilight said before she noticed both Keon and Rarity running past at an adjacent corridor ahead of them. “Rarity, Keon!” she shouted to catch their attention before they could round the corner.

Keon and Rarity came to a stop upon hearing their names called and spotted Twilight and Chris running to catch up with them.

“Welcome back to the world of the living,” Chris greeted his now, thankfully, sober friend. “I thought you’d be moaning over a toilet all day once you woke up,” he finished, as he noticed the alligator draped over Keon’s shoulder and gave it an odd stare.

“I’m not that much of a pansy,” Keon said with a grin. “And don’t bother asking about my new fashion accessory,” he said while jabbing a thumb at Gummy. “But anyway, I guess you two came to see the dragons too then?”

“Dragons?” Twilight echoed, “That’s what made that loud crash?”

“Yes, Twilight, and four adults no less,” Rarity answered. “I insisted to Keon that we shouldn’t go out and see them; however, despite my pleas, he’s determined to do so.”

“You actually saw them?” Chris said, shaking Keon’s shoulders in excitement. “What’d they look like, how big were they?”

“Dude, they were the biggest fucking things I ever seen,” Keon said, as he stretched his arms out to use as a piss-poor visual aid. “I just about shat myself seeing them fly in.”

“If dragons have come, it can’t be taken lightly,” Twilight cut in, looking rather perturbed. “Perhaps we should wait until either of the princesses deems it safe for you two to meet with them.”

Rarity dramatically placed a hoof to her forehead. “Thank Celestia somepony’s on my side. For a moment I thought I was actually going to have to meet those ruffians.”

“Why wouldn’t it be safe?” Chris asked. “They’re smart, right?”

Twilight looked somewhat nervous. “We may be taking your arrival here in stride, but we can’t say the same for everypony else,” she said. “It’s entirely possible that those dragons out there would rather you not be here and wish to do you harm.”

“Twilight, Darling, surely you don’t believe it could be something that extreme,” Rarity reasoned.

“I don’t know,” Twilight admitted. “It’s really rare for dragons to get involved in any pony related matters. And you mentioned there were four of them, right?” Rarity simply nodded her head. “That means it’s more than likely the four elements council that arrived here.”

“Four elements council?” Keon echoed. “So, who the hell are they?”

“They are exceptionally powerful dragons and, as their name suggests, each represents one of the four elements. In essence these four are the overseers of all dragons,” Twilight explained. “Together, they’re responsible for writing dragon law, or what some dragons call dragon code. It’s essentially a set of rules that dragons will follow without fail.”

“I guess it can’t be helped then?” Chris said, just as a sphere of blue magic appeared before them and popped, revealing Luna.

“Princess Luna?” Twilight started. “What’s going on? Why are there dragons here? Have they come to cause trouble?”

“Calm yourself, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna tried to pacify the anxious mare. “Neither my sister nor I believe they are here to cause any trouble, for they merely wish to have an audience with our guest,” Luna explained as she turned her attention to Chris and Keon, both of them beaming like kids on a field trip. “Is it safe to assume that neither of you object to this meeting?”

“Of course they don’t object,” Rarity answered. “For whatever reason they were more than adamant about meeting them…” Rarity was suddenly cut off by a bright camera flash.

“Got it!” a tan pony wearing a fedora with a press sign stuck in it shouted with a triumphant grin.

Luna glared at him, prompting the pony to turn on his hooves and flee with his tail tucked between his legs. “I thought the guards would have cleared out all of the journalist by now,” she muttered.

“You have better have gotten my good side!” Rarity called after him.

“Did I miss something?” Keon asked with an expression blank enough to rival Gummy’s, as he watched the pony disappear around the corner.

“The cat's out of the bag,” Chris answered. “It’s known all over that there’s a couple of aliens staying in this castle now,” he finished before stretching out his hand towards Twilight.

Twilight stared at his hand awkwardly before she realized what he wanted. “Oh,…right,” she said, as she made to retrieve the newspaper from her saddlebag and floated it to Chris.

Chris grabbed the paper and handed it off to Keon. “Have a look for yourself.”

Keon stared at the headline of the top story on the front page, the picture being of him standing at the podium when he’d given his speech of sorts to kick off the party. ‘Breaking News: Interdimensional Species arrives in Equestria!’ he read in his mind. ‘Last evening Princess Celestia made it public knowledge of the interdimensional species known as homo sapiens, or simply put human, discovered on the palace grounds of Canterlot. Anonymous sources tell us that humans are an omnivorous species of exceptional intellect, originating from a world void of any magic. Although their world is known to lack magic, their technology is said to be vastly superior to that of our own. As of now, there are currently two humans under Princess Celestia's and Princess Luna’s care, both confirmed as male. The means of which these beings have come to our world is still unclear, and if more humans are on the way remains to be seen. Stay tuned for further details as they emer¬…’ Keon trailed off from the article as he took note of another column labeled “Humans bring new dance” beneath it.

“Man, I must have been drunk out of my mind last night,” Keon noted, as he stared at the picture of him and Pinkie before erupting into laughter. “I can’t believe I taught you ponies how to grind, I’m a pioneer, baby!”

Chris snatched the paper from Keon, rolled it up and popped him upside the head with it. “For once in your life try to be a little serious, I mean, did you even read the front column?”

“Yeah, I did, and why are you so pissy? So, I taught some of the locals how to dance, big deal, it’s nothing to bitch about,” Keon complained as he massaged the top of his head. “Oh, and I may have gotten high with Pinkie, but that’s it for stupid stuff I’ve done, unless you count Spike getting into my porn stash.”

Chris could only shake his head for a response.

“Gentlemen, time waits for no pony,” Luna interrupted.

“Sorry, lead the way,” Chris said, as he, Keon, Twilight and Rarity made to follow after her.

Author's Note

What's up everyone, sorry for the late update, things just didn't go according to plan. Well anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I've got some pretty fun things planned for later on. As always sound off in the comments and I'll catch you with the next update.

Chapter 14: Celestia's Proposal

Chapter 14: Celestia's Proposal

Celestia’s Proposal

“So…” Chris muttered to Keon as Luna led them, Twilight and Rarity up another set of stairs towards their destination. “Smoking and porn are the worst of it, huh? Nothing else you need to come clean about?”

Keon rolled his eyes at the question. “That’s everything questionable I’ve done, at least I think, so relax. I can almost promise you that Celestia won’t order us to be hanged. Doubt they’d have the stomach for something like that anyway.”

“Thanks that sounds really reassuring,” Chris said sarcastically.

Keon patted Chris on the shoulder. “Anything to ease your mind buddy. So, what about you? Had any misadventures of your own since we’ve gotten to this place?” Keon asked.

“Misadventures?” Chris echoed. “You know, I was almost killed by a pack of timberwolves hardly a few hours in. How’s that for a misadventure?”

“Wolves?” Keon repeated. “That would have been a pretty lame way to go. All the way to a new world just to get done in by something that we’ve got in our own backyard.”

“Not exactly, these things weren’t anything like the wolves from our neck of the woods,” Chris said matter-of-factly. “Get this, these things were made out of loose twigs and foliage, pieced together into the shape of a wolf.”

Keon arched a brow. “Whadya know, their names left little to the imagination, pretty much like everything else here in this wonderful world of Oz. But still, moving, flesh eating twigs doesn’t make much sense, not that anything here does.”

“It didn’t make much sense to me either,” Chris admitted. “What’s even weirder is that the loose foliage is controlled by a type of magically enriched cordyceps fungus that grows in the Everfree forest.”

“Cordyceps fungus?” Rarity said with a look of disgust on her face. “That sounds absolutely revolting. It’s nothing contagious, I hope.”

Keon scratched his head in thought. “Cordyceps fungus, huh? I thought that stuff was considered an endoparasite.”

Twilight’s ears perked up in scholarly interest. “Endoparasite?”

“Fungus can grow on pretty much anything and anywhere, endoparasitic fungi is the type of fungus that thrives by living inside an animal, ultimately killing it,” Chris explained. “In the case of cordyceps fungus, it infects insects and arthropods, taking over its nervous system…”

“As a means to spread their spores, by dictating where the insect goes?” Twilight ventured a guess, although confident in her assumption.

“I swear, that one is as sharp as a tack,” Keon said as he gave Twilight a congratulatory pat on the head, much to her annoyance. “But even if this magical version of fungus can play puppeteer to some branches and leaves, that doesn’t explain why it tried to kill you. I mean, it sounds like it has a less aggressive nature than what we know of, if it uses lifeless twigs for a host.”

“I thought the same. Problem is, there’s limited information on them, since it seems that the folk around here don’t care much for the Everfree forest and what lives in it. But if I had to wager a guess, I’d assume that it has to do with the unstable magic in the Everfree that it’s grown under that makes its nature so violent,” Chris reasoned. “Geez, look at me,” Chris mused. “I’ve been here five minutes and I’m already talking about magic like I have a damn clue.”

“You believe the natural magic in the Everfree forest has a malicious nature?” Twilight asked curiously.

“I would not be surprised in the slightest,” Rarity commented. “That dreadful forest has always given me unbearable chills.”

Chris shrugged at Twilight’s question. “All I know for certain is that I got a really unsettling feeling when I entered that forest. It felt kind of like being a lone Bear’s fan stuck in an elevator full of cheeseheads. If that’s what malicious magic feels like, then I guess, yes.”

“What?” Twilight repeated, not having understood the point Chris was trying to make.

“Stuck in a cramped place full of people that hate you,” Keon clarified.

Meanwhile, Luna carefully listened in on the conversation and thought to herself that Chris’s assessment of the magic infecting the Everfree forest had been spot on. She was fairly certain that the nightmare that had consumed her had been a byproduct of that very forest, a culmination of malice and hatred spawned from the magic of the Everfree. That dark magic had preyed on her jealously and bitterness, ultimately giving birth to what she had become a thousand years ago. In hindsight, taking residence in Discord's former ruling roost in the Everfree was admittedly one of her and Celestia’s less than brilliant ideas.

“Everfree… why does it sound like I’ve heard that name before?” Keon said while he rubbed his chin in thought.

“That’s because it’s one of the seven anomalies I’ve told you about,” Twilight cut back in.

“Oh yeah, and that reminds me, we might actually have a way out of this place,” Keon said to Chris.

“I know, I’ve already been brought up to speed on our situation,” Chris replied. “And I’ve done a bit of digging around, and all I can say is, we’ve got our work cut out for us, in more ways than one,” he added while he gave Luna a determined stare from behind.

Luna picked up on the undertone in Chris’s final words and was quickly able to guess that he had learned of Celestia’s actions. And by the feel of his eyes on her back, she knew he wasn’t happy about it. She merely sighed to herself, it hadn’t been her call after all and Celestia would have to be the one to pacify the situation.

“Thank God one of us is a book worm,” Keon said as he picked at his fingernails. “So, what exactly did you find out?”

“That there’s a good chance we’ll die,” Chris deadpanned.

“Bummer, dying is pretty low on my list of priorities,” Keon quipped.

“I know as much, I can still remember all the things you were shouting about back in that cave,” Chris said with a sly smirk. “I mean, jeez dude you’re twenty three and still haven’t…”

Keon quickly clasped his hand around Chris’s mouth. “Finish that sentence in front of them and I swear I will kick your ass up and down this hallway,” he whispered into Chris’s ear, his embarrassment clear on his features.

“Wow,” Twilight said, evidently surprised. “I’ve never seen Keon get flustered so quickly, he’s normally so aloof.”

“Don’t let his 'too cool for school' attitude fool you; he’s actually a really sensitive guy, if you know how to push his buttons,” Chris said, as he pinched Keon on the cheek. “Isn’t that right, Mr. caring and sensitive?”

Keon slapped Chris’s hand away from his face. “Yeah, I’m a real bundle of sensitivity and joy,” he stated dryly.

Luna looked over her shoulder as she chuckled. “You two have a very odd chemistry, it makes me curious to how exactly you became friends.”

“How we became friends isn’t the real question, how come we remain friends is, but even I don’t have an answer to that,” Keon said.

Chris rolled his eyes at Keon’s jest. “My sister always said we were like two sides of the same coin, even though I think yin and yang would be a better idiom for our relationship.”

“Yin and yang?” Luna repeated with a raised brow.

“It’s an ideal in Chinese culture that opposite forces are interconnected and interdependent upon one another,” Chris explained. “Life and death, male and female, fire and water. As a matter of fact, you and your sister make for a pretty good example of it.”

“Because we represent night and day respectively?” Luna reasoned.

Chris nodded. “That about sums it up.”

“So, in essence you two complete each other, like a shawl completes a sundress!” Rarity squealed in delight.

Chris and Keon looked at one another, then back at Rarity.

“We were thinking among the lines of something a little less homo,” Keon said. “Besides, can we get off this subject? How we became friends is a pretty dry tale to begin with.”

“If it’s all the same, I’d still like to hear it,” Twilight countered. “It would benefit my research to have a more personal point of view on how humans go about forming friendships.”

“I’m interested as well, but the story will have to wait,” Luna stated, as they came to a stop in front of a large set of doors with a generously sized golden sun emblem etched on them. “These are my sister’s chambers,” Luna explained. “The four elements council await for our arrival on the balcony.”

“I couldn’t help but notice we walked up a lot of stairs, are these guys really that tall?” Chris asked.

“In a moment you will see that for yourself,” Luna answered as she used her magic to open up the doors to Celestia’s room and stepped inside, followed by Twilight, Rarity, Chris and finally Keon.

As they walked through Celestia’s room, Chris and Rarity took in the décor with interest, while Twilight and Keon showed little interest. Twilight because she had visited Celestia’s room on many occasions and Keon simply didn't care because he thought it was too similar to Luna’s to give a damn.

Rarity frowned as she observed the dark purples and blues the room was mostly composed of. “Heavens, I expected Princess Celestia’s room to be a bit more… bright. These dreary colors don’t suit her majesty at all,” Rarity complained and turned her nose up in disapproval. “I’m sure if I was given the time, I could spruce up this room to meet the standards of fabulosity.”

“You’re an interior designer now?” Chris joked with a small laugh. “I thought you were about dress making.”

“My talent in making all things fabulous extends far beyond creating dresses,” Rarity said. “I’m sure I could make even you look dashing,” Rarity claimed, as she fluttered her eyelashes coyly.

The smirk left Chris's face as it slackened and slowly grew blank.

“You’re saying I don’t look good as is?” Chris's eyes drifted from Rarity's own to rest in front of her hooves as his head lowered slightly. “Strangely enough, that kind of hurts my feelings.” His voice grew quiet and his speech slowed gradually as he spoke, his shoulders slumping and his feet shuffling slightly.

In the blink of an eye, Chris shot Keon a glance out of the corner of his eye and quirked the corner of his mouth for a moment before resuming the act. Keon's perpetual grin widened marginally.

Rarity's mouth gaped open and closed a few times before she closed it and walked up to Chris.

“Chris...” she said, before placing a hoof on his thigh, prompting him to look her in the eye.

“Darling, I didn't mean to offend you,” she offered in conciliation, “I only meant to say that I could help further accent your, um... hairless look.”

“Yeah, thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” Chris replied.

Keon couldn’t help but chuckle. “Don’t take it so hard, Casanova. If the furless look isn’t doing you any favors in the eyes of the locals, what the hell does that say about me?”

“Good point, you were already hard on the eyes without being thought of as a shaved monkey,” Chris said as he and Keon shared a laugh, while Rarity and Twilight could only look between one another in confusion.

“Even though I’ve spent time with the both of you, I still don’t understand how humans find amusement in seemingly tearing each other down,” Twilight stated.

“That’s just the way friendships between guys works,” Chris said with a shrug. “It’s not like we really mean what we say, it’s just in good fun, yah know?”

“No, Sweetie, we don’t,” Rarity protested. “Insulting another for amusement just sounds like bullying to me.”

“I guess it might?” Keon said, as he snagged an apple from a bowl of fruit on a counter as they passed by and offered it to Gummy, who practically inhaled it. “Well I’ll be damned, he eats apples.”

“Ahem,” Luna interrupted. “Perhaps we should cease the chatter,” she said, as she came to a stop in front of the balcony doors. “Let’s at least try and have you two make a good first impression.”

“Anything we should directly avoid doing?” Chris asked.

“Know that dragons are a very proud race, so just try and be respectful,” Luna advised, “and be warned, there’s one out there with a particularly nasty attitude. You’re better off not even speaking with that one.”

Chris turned to Keon and gave him a stern stare. “You hear that? I'd rather we not get burned alive, so no bullshit from you when we get out there, alright?”

“Of course, mommy-dearest, Keon will be a good boy,” Keon said in a high pitched squeal, trying his best impersonation of a five year old. “Stop acting so damn paranoid, would you? I know what I’m doing.”

“Let’s hope so,” Chris responded before turning back to Luna. “We’re ready when you are.”

Luna nodded as her magic shrouded the balcony doors in a blue aura and flung them open.

Draco, Ultear, Pythius, and Skyla watched carefully as Luna lead the two humans to Celestia’s side, accompanied by two other ponies.

“Holy shit,” Keon muttered with a whistle, as he subconsciously positioned himself closer to Celestia. “You know these guys are a lot bigger when you see them up close and a helluva lot scarier looking too.”

“Didn’t you meet Twilight’s assistant Spike?” Chris whispered back. “So, what were you expecting?”

“I take it you haven’t seen Spike,” Keon argued. “He’s cutesy, like something out of that Dragon Tales cartoon. These guys look like they should be guarding the gates of hell.”

“Don’t worry: I assure you that all is safe,” Celestia said to the pair with a bright smile before turning her attention back to the dragons. “Our guests Mr. Keon and Mr. Chris are here, you may speak of what you wish.”

Draco sniffed the air for a moment, before he craned his head down to get a better look at the humans. Keon teetered on his feet and inched closer to Celestia, while Chris held his ground.

“I can smell the fear on this one,” Draco noted in the same rattling cough as he had been, his yellow eyes now trained on Keon.

Keon looked down at his pants, then leaned towards Rarity. “He’s lying, I haven’t shat myself just yet,” he whispered.

Rarity scrunched her nose in disgust and backed away a pace. “Please don’t speak so undignified in front of a lady, it’s so… indecorous.”

After a moment of scrutinizing Keon, Draco turned his attention to Chris. Draco hummed as he scratched his chin thoughtfully. “For a creature of such small stature you stand without fear, in difference to your companion. Why is that?” Draco suddenly asked.

“You’re not wild animals,” Chris answered calmly. “I know that if push came to shove you can be reasoned with. So, what exactly is there to fear from you?”

“He’s a cheeky one,” Ultear remarked with a large grin. “I like that.”

Meanwhile, Draco had become silent for a moment, as he regarded Chris before suddenly shoving his massive face in front of Chris and letting out a deafening roar that shook the entire balcony.

Chris covered his ears, in an attempt to dilute the sound, but otherwise held firm in his position.

“Get away from that brute, Chris!” Rarity shouted in a panic, “He’s going to eat you alive!”

“Why’d you have to go and piss him off like that!?” Keon yelled along with Rarity, who was cowering behind Celestia’s hind leg with him.

“What is the meaning of this!?” Luna shouted in her Canterlot voice with enough volume to pierce through Draco’s own impressive output.

“It’s alright, Luna,” Celestia assured her just as Draco ceased his roaring and slowly backed off.

Luna grit her teeth but opted to not press the issue. Instead she decided to wait and see how things would unfold.

“I’m impressed,” Ultear remarked. “That roar should have sent him running for Celestia’s legs, like that one over there,” he said, as he jabbed a clawed finger towards Keon, who promptly flipped him off, not that the dragon understood the gesture.

“Just a test of your mettle,” Draco said with a look of approval, covering his mouth as he coughed. “You humans have more spine than I would have thought. Why such confidence? Had I been serious, do you believe you could have bested me?”

“Could I have bested you? Not a chance in hell,” Chris acknowledged. “So, if you’re asking me why I didn’t run, I’ll tell you my decision wasn’t based on bravery or confidence,” Chris explained. “When faced with a predator that’s stronger and faster than yourself, standing your ground is always the best option. Predators chase and prey runs. If you don’t want to be prey, then there’s really only one option.” ‘Even though that’s easier said than done, I bolted the moment I could when some timberwolves thought they’d have their way with me, but he doesn’t need to know that,’ Chris mused.

Draco was quiet as he processed what Chris had said.”You know, hatchling, I’m starting to like your kind already,” he concluded as he turned towards Skyla and nodded. Skyla stepped forward and craned her long neck down towards Chris.

“What I ask of you is simple: I’d like to know a bit more about you humans,” she started.

“That’s fine, what do you want to know?” Chris returned, as he rubbed his still ringing ears.

Skyla shook her head. “Words are not necessary, just step forward child. I will see what needs to be seen with my own eyes.”

“No,” Chris said bluntly. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but if you want my cooperation, you’ll need to be a little less cryptic about your intentions.”

“Brave, yet cautious,” Skyla said with what she assumed was a disarming smile; however, the lineup of sharp teeth lessened the effect. “Allow me to explain. You see, I wish to read your spirit and see what’s truly hidden in you as a species.”

“Read my spirit?” Chris repeated. “Why do you need to go through such lengths, when I’m willing to tell you whatever it is you need to know?”

“The word of one or even two of you humans wouldn’t give a fair opinion of what we wish to know,” Pythius explained. “One’s spirit is connected to all of the ancestors that have come before them. As such, generations worth of unbiased knowledge of your kind’s nature is buried within your spirit.”

Chris looked between Celestia and Luna, who both wore stoic expressions. Clearly they were leaving the decision in his hands and wouldn’t intervene.

Twilight on the other hand had an opinion to voice. “I’m afraid that even if they agree to this, there’s a good chance that your methods won’t work.”

“And why’s that?” Skyla asked, fixing her large purple eyes on Twilight.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Well, I’m assuming that you intend to use some form of magic to read Chris’s spirit, correct?”

Skyla merely nodded, so Twilight continued.

“For some reason these two have bodies that actively reject magic,” Twilight explained. “It’s not absolute resistance, and I’m still not sure how it affects non pony magic.”

“If it’s resistance, then it simply needs overpowering,” Skyla said dismissively before turning her attention back to Chris. “What will it be child?”

Chris regarded Skyla for a moment and looked for any sign of deceit before he finally relented. “Fine, just so long as you’re not probing my mind, then I’m okay with it,” he said, as he walked to the edge of the balcony. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just try and relax,” Skyla said, as she slowly moved her large claw towards Chris and placed one long finger on his chest.

A short distance away Keon watched with bated breath as he finally found the courage to remove himself from Celestia’s leg.

“Is this really alright?” Keon asked Celestia quietly. “She isn’t going to try and mind rape him is she? I don’t want to have to break my foot off in some dragon’s ass.”

“You needn’t worry,” Celestia answered, as they watched Chris fall into a trance like state. “Skyla is quite proficient in reading one’s spirit; in fact, she is one of only several beings I know that is capable of such a feat.”

Meanwhile, Chris felt himself losing touch with the world around him. Heavy was the only word he could use to describe the way he felt, as though he was trudging through a pool of molasses.

“I see, so this is what the little purple pony mare had been speaking of,” Skyla muttered, as her magic was easily able to overwhelm what little resistance Chris’s body was able to muster against it. “A useful little parlor trick against lesser magic. Futile against my own, however,” Skyla concluded just as she finally found what she had been searching for and her eyes widened in shock.

“What’s wrong?” Pythius asked after having noticed that Skyla had reeled back slightly and a slight sweat had accumulated above her brow.

Skyla continued to stare down at Chris as she slowly answered. “These creatures, no, these humans are like nothing I’ve ever encountered. As a species they are completely shrouded in gray. They hold a spirit that fiercely strives for more and can never truly be satiated. The result being that their potential to grow, create or destroy has no limits. Both a blessing and a curse, for no matter how much they achieve, they will never reach equilibrium, for their fight for something greater is never ending. In essence they are like the wolf that cries for the moon. It is a sad destiny that they have been burdened with.”

“Unlike the wolf, we’ve reached the moon,” Keon managed to squeak out.

Skyla’s eyes darted to Keon, and he pulled back nervously. “You’ve proven my point child. The moon is always in sight, but never within the wolf’s reach, but you humans ignored that facet of life. Grasping something unattainable was merely a milestone to your kind, now you aim for the stars themselves.”

“A foolish ambition,” Ultear commented.

“Perhaps so,” Skyla said, as she removed her claw from Chris’s chest, and he slowly started to come to. “Although a young species, they deserve our utmost respect for their tenacity alone. These humans have been molded by hardship from the likes of which this world would be hard pressed to comprehend.” Just as she finished, Chris collapsed to one knee but Keon was there to catch him.

“How you feeling, buddy?” Keon asked while throwing Chris’s arm over his shoulder to support him. Twilight and Rarity quickly galloped over to join them at their side.

Chris rubbed his temples and waited for his vision to come into focus. “Just a little dizzy, what even happened?”

“You don’t remember any of that?” Twilight asked.

“When she touched me with her claw, everything just sorta went hazy on me,” Chris said, as Keon helped him to a standing position. “Oh yeah, it’s nice to see you finally grew a pair: You’re not hiding behind Celestia anymore,” he added with a light elbow to Keon’s gut.

Keon raised his brow. “Hey, fuck you man. It’s your fault we’re even here, so if one of us was going to be a martyr it’s your ass, comprende?” he finished, before having noticed the dragons had moved a few paces back and were silently conversing with one another.

“What do you suppose that lot is so secretly discoursing about?” Rarity inquired, with a look of unease on her face. “Have they even considered that such behavior is downright rude?”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not too fond of dragons?” Chris asked.

“I will make no efforts to hide my distaste for a group of ruffians,” Rarity said, letting her opinion be known. “Now if they were more like my Spikey-wikey…”

“Spikey-wikey?” Keon interrupted. “Hang on, white coat, pretty mane, blue eyes. So, you’re little miss perfect pony the little dude was going on about.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up. “That’s right, you’ve had the chance to meet Spike, isn’t he just adorable?”

“Adorable, only when he’s not piss-drunk,” Keon deadpanned

“Drunk?” Rarity echoed. “Surely you’re not suggesting my little Spikey-wikey had been drinking?”

“It’s a long story,” Luna interrupted. “One we do not have the luxury of reciting just yet,” she concluded, as Draco stepped forward to address them once more.

“Celestia,” he started his tone a great deal more serious than it had been, “I wish for you to know we haven't come to this decision easily.”

Neither Celestia nor Luna liked Draco’s demeanor, and their toned muscles were already twitching under their coats in anticipation, both of them ready to spring into action if the situation warranted such.

“Look, I know it was cool and all how you didn’t run earlier but if this guy makes a move, best believe I’m taking off,” Keon whispered to Chris. “You see that dragons face? He means business, he’s not even coughing anymore.”

Chris didn't acknowledge what Keon had said, but he continued to watch in apprehension.

“With a heavy heart I say that each breath these humans draw brings this world closer to its destruction and decisive action must be taken!” he bellowed, as he drew back his arm in preparation to strike them down, but was quickly stuck by two blinding flashes of focused magic, courtesy of Celestia and Luna.

Pythius swiftly moved out of the way as Draco’s massive frame was sent tumbling past him and across the court yard, tearing the ground violently in his wake.

“Twilight!” Celestia shouted. “Get them to safety at once!”

“I’m on it!” Twilight called back, as she prepared to try and teleport Chris, Keon, Rarity, Gummy and herself but stopped at the sudden sound of laughter.

Laughter, not just any laughter, but completely unbridled, gut busting laughter filled the area.

Draco was literally pounding the ground as he laughed, each consecutive bang shaking the castle grounds.

“Do you find this situation amusing!?” Luna shouted in her amplified voice. Turning her attention to the remaining three dragons, she noticed that they were laughing as well. “Have we missed a joke!?”

“Of course it was a joke! Oh, the looks on your faces was just too much!” Draco chortled, nearly out of breath.

Celestia narrowed her brow, clearly not amused, as Draco removed himself from the ground and made his way back towards the balcony.

“This isn’t my idea of a joke,” Celestia said coldly, as Draco caught his breath. “We could have seriously hurt you, what were you thinking?”

Draco looked down at the two still smoking singe marks on his chest. “I’m more than impressed that you managed to damage even my scales, not an easy task. Then again, you two are much stronger when fighting together. Even so, you’d be hard pressed to seriously hurt me without attacking with the intent to kill.”

“As pertains to the humans,” Pythius cut in, “we’ve come to the decision to remain out of your affairs. Skyla holds their species in high regard and is adamant that dragons shall show them the proper respect as a formidable force, and so it shall be written.”

“Even though by simply looking at them, I find it hard to believe, but I have faith in Skyla’s word,” Ultear added, although his tone begged to differ.

‘Just what is going on?’ Rarity thought to herself. ‘Dragons have little respect for any creature that isn’t one of their kind, what could she have uncovered from Chris to believe that humans are a formidable force?’ she wondered, as she stared at both Chris and Keon skeptically.

“Wait, so they aren’t going to kill us?” Keon asked releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“I guess they were only having some fun,” Chris reasoned, as he placed his hand on his chest to gauge his heartbeat. “It wasn’t funny, but they sure know how to get the ole ticker pumping... and holy shit, that alligator is biting you on the head!”

“Yeah, he likes to do that, or maybe the dragons spooked him too,” Keon said in a casual tone before he got to work on prying the gnawing gator off of his head. “He’s toothless though, and has some pretty weak jaw pressure to boot, so don’t worry about it.”

Chris just looked confused, as he watched Keon wrestle Gummy free of his head. “So, what’s next?” Keon asked no one in particular after finally wrenching Gummy off. “Is this the part we hold hands and sing kumbaya in light of coming to an understanding?”

“Our business here is completed,” Pythius said, having answered Keon’s smart aleck remark. “We trust in your judgment, Celestia, don’t let us regret our actions,” he finished, as he stretched out his massive wings and, with a few mighty flaps, pushed himself off the ground and rose into the air.

Chris, Keon, Twilight and Rarity were unceremoniously knocked to their rears by the force of wind Pythius wings created, as he ascended higher into the air.

Ultear wore a smug grin, as he followed after Pythius, clearly amused by how easily the humans had been knocked from their feet. “Undoubtedly, you’re a formidable force,” he muttered sarcastically.

Before Skyla made to follow after Pythius and Ultear, she turned her attention to Celestia and Luna. “I know what it is you intend to do,” Skyla stated as she prepared to take off herself. “I’d be lying to say I’m not surprised that you would willingly disrupt what you’ve built for your subjects. Just take heed in your decisions, and remember that the human species aren’t to be trifled with,” she concluded, as she pushed off the ground with her rear legs, springing high into the air before stretching her wings and taking flight.

“I guess this is farewell then,” Draco started. “It’s a pity we only get to see each other on such rare occasions.”

“Then don’t be a stranger and visit when you get the urge,” Celestia offered. “You’re a dear friend Draco, and you’re always welcome in our kingdom, just so long as you don’t play any more tricks on us. At least none that may see you hurt.”

“I make no such promise, little Tia,” Draco said before flaring his wings and preparing to take flight.

“Wait, before you go,” Chris interrupted, as he got to his feet and rushed over to the balcony. “There’s a favor I’d like to ask of you.”

The dragon looked down over his snout at Chris, curious about the human’s request. “What is it, young one?”

Chris rubbed the back of his head bashfully. “If you don’t mind, could we maybe, yah know, take some pictures with you?”

Draco looked taken aback by the question and simply stared at Chris in silence for a brief moment, then at Keon who wore an anxious yet willing expression before finally bursting into laughter. “A picture he says? No creature wants anything to do with dragons, let alone take pictures with us. You humans are very odd indeed!”

“Dragons are mythical creatures in their world, legends even,” Luna explained. “You can understand why they would wish to preserve the memory.”

Draco scratched his scaly chin thoughtfully. “That’s strange, I can’t say we have anything about you in our legends; however, I was never well read in dragon lore. I’d have to search the archives in the library in the ancient dragon’s keep to be certain. Although, such a thing makes me curious as to why we are only myth in your native world. What do your legends say happened to the dragons of your land?”

“Supposedly we hunted them to extinction,” Keon answered bluntly, eliciting a joint gasp from Twilight and Rarity, while Draco, Celestia, and Luna’s face’s remained neutral on the matter.

“So, dragons and humans were at odds with one another?” Draco asked curiously.

“Well, there are numerous legends surrounding them,” Chris said. “Admittedly, in most lore dragons are usually depicted as malevolent and fierce enemies of man, especially in European folklore. Even so, there are cultures that viewed them as deities and worshiped them for their power and majesty. But like Luna said,” Chris continued, “you guys are just legends, and there’s no documented evidence or fossils to prove that dragons ever existed. It’s highly unlikely we humans were ever actually dragon slayers, like they say in the old folktales.”

“Unlikely? It’s not even a possibility that a person could have taken down something like him with a claymore and shield combo,” Keon added. “I wouldn’t come knocking at his cave with anything less than a convoy of tanks.”

“Interesting, I’ll see to it myself that this information is filed away into our archives,” Draco said, as he lowered his face down to the balcony. “Now as for those photos…”

Chris beamed. “Keon, where’s your camera?”

“It’s a no go bro, I left it back in my room,” Keon said, with an innocent shrug. “It’s not like I thought I’d need it just walking around the castle.”

“If you can wait a moment, I can have your camera here in a jiffy,” Twilight offered, looking at Draco as if asking for his consent.

“I’m not so testy that I can’t spare a minute,” Draco said with a wave of his claw.

Twilight nodded, as her horn became shrouded in a field of purple magic before she disappeared with a bright flash of purple light.

A brief moment later Twilight returned in the same manner as she had left in, only now Keon’s camera hung from its strap around her neck. “I’ve got it,” She said, as she cantered up to Keon who nodded as he took the camera from her.

“So, this is what the young one’s are playing with these days. Whatever happened to a stone plate and chisel? ” Draco commented, as he watched Keon fiddle with the black contraption in his hands.

“Stone plate and chisel, we ain’t the Flintstones, old timer,” Keon said, as he finished adjusting his camera to the proper settings and handing the camera off to Rarity. “Here, sweetheart, point the camera and press this button.”

Rarity clumsily gripped the camera she found being shoved into her hooves. “You want me to take the photos?”

“Well, I’m not missing this,” Keon said as he ran up next to Chris who was standing in front of Draco.

Rarity frowned at Keon as she held the camera up to her eyes, before taking notice of the LCD for the first time. “My word, what a beautiful device,” she chimed, quickly becoming enamored with the camera. “Oh my,” she said, as the camera brought Chris, Keon and Draco into focus without her having to do anything.

“If you’d rather not, I could do it you know?” Twilight offered.

“No, no, darling, I’m more than capable,” Rarity said, as she began to take photo after photo, apparently finding the photo shot immensely enjoyable with the high grade camera.

All the while, Chris and Keon grinned like proper idiots while striking different poses as Rarity took the pictures. Draco soon found himself chuckling and joining in on the fun by striking his own poses to mimic the humans.

“You know no one is going to believe this is real, right?” Keon said once they had taken their fill of pictures with Draco. “Even with pictures,” he added.

Chris shrugged in indifference. “So long as we know it’s real, that’s all that matters, right?”

“I bet those people that live where straitjackets are dress code said the same thing,” Keon said as he placed his camera strap around his neck.

“Good point,” Chris said, as he turned around to face Draco. “Thanks for humoring our silly request. I know it might have been a bit embarrassing for you.”

“Embarrassing?” Draco chuckled. “Admittedly, dragons are a proud race, but we aren’t above having a little fun, even an old curmudgeon like myself. But don’t go spreading that around, we have an image to uphold after all.”

“Will do,” Chris said with a simple nod.

“Meeting you two has been a pleasant surprise,” Draco said, as he looked towards the sky and stretched out his wings and, giving them a few great flaps, lifted himself off the ground. “I wish for you a safe journey,” he finished, as he ascended higher into the air and took off in the direction the other dragons had gone.

Chris and Keon watched in silence as Draco slowly disappeared from view.

Celestia chose that moment to speak. “I suppose that went as well as I could have hoped for.”

Chris slowly turned to face Celestia and simply stared at her for a moment before asking. “Do you mind if we have a word?”

“A word?” Celestia repeated. “But of course, you can always speak freely with us…”

Chris cut her off. “No, just you and the two humans. This matter is rather private.”

Celestia looked towards Luna, who merely nodded. “I see,” Celestia responded, as she turned her attention to Twilight and Rarity. “We were scheduled to have lunch with the ambassadors shortly, why don’t you girls gather your friends and head down to the banquet hall to wait for us?”

Keon quirked his brow. “What’s with the serious mood change all of a sudden?” he asked Chris in a hushed tone.

“We just have a little business to take care of, that’s all,” Chris answered.

Twilight looked between Chris and Celestia, knowing full well what Chris wished to discuss. Letting lose a small sigh, she turned on her hooves. “As you wish, Princess,” she said, as she made to follow Luna, who had already begun walking away without a word.

“What’s this all about?” Rarity whispered, as she fell in stride with Twilight.

“I’m pretty sure Chris intends to ask Princess Celestia to grant them permission to enter the Valley of the Changing Seasons.”

Rarity gasped. “Why in Equestria would they wish to go there of all places, when we have much finer and… hospitable travel destinations?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’ll explain when we gather the girls; I don’t want to do it more than once.”

After Twilight, Rarity and Luna had disappeared from the balcony, Celestia turned to face Chris and Keon with a much more business like expression on her face.

“First of all, I feel we have to thank you, for what you just did,” Chris started out. “Had those dragons been serious in their threat, it’s nice to know you had our backs, I’d thank your sister too, but we kind of just asked her to leave.”

“Thanks aren’t necessary: It is our obligation as your host to see to it that no harm befalls you,” Celestia stated. “But thanking me isn’t what this is about, so am I to assume this is a matter pertaining to the Valley of the Changing Seasons?” Celestia asked, having figured as much.

Chris nodded. “Twilight seemed to be under the impression that you wouldn’t let us go there easily. Why would she think that?”

“My student knows me well,” Celestia said with a proud smile. “Before I explain, I will say this, you are not prisoners here, you are my honored guest,” Celestia said. “Although, in light of preventing a political debacle, I wish to keep a watchful eye over the pair of you. Even so, I’m a lenient mare and if you ever decide you wish to leave my kingdom, I will not stand in your way. However, as long as you are within my kingdom, I will not permit you to behave in a self-destructive manner. It is my duty to protect my subjects from harm, even if that harm is from themselves.”

“With all due respect, we aren’t exactly your subjects, are we?” Chris countered.

“That may be true. Even so, you two are a special case, for you have been issued visa’s that grant you the full rights and privileges of Equestrian citizens,” Celestia explained. “Essentially, you are now my honorary subjects.”

“If we have full rights and privileges as you say, why would you stop us from going where you know we have to and take away our only shot of getting home?” Chris continued, while Keon simply watched the proceedings in silence.

“This goes back to self-destructive behavior,” Celestia reasoned. “Neither of you realize just how unforgiving our world can be. The Valley of the Changing Seasons is the birth place of Discord himself. It is by no means a place that should be unwisely ventured,” Celestia stated. “Besides, rights and privileges always come with a price and that is rules that have to be followed in order to receive those rights. Of the seven anomalies, three of them are restricted areas and can only be entered legally on two conditions.”

Keon rolled his eyes as he said, “Let me guess, the Valley of the Changing Seasons just so happened to land in one of those restricted slots?”

“What are the conditions?” Chris asked bluntly.

Celestia looked between Chris and Keon, as she explained. “You must first be granted permission to enter said area by your native country's overseeing governing body. In your case, that would be me and my sister, for your visas were made specifically for Equestria. Secondly, you must be given a permit from the leader or leaders of which ever country that restricted area is located in. That means General Emerald Talon of the griffon republic would have to give you his consent.”

Chris and Keon looked between one another before Keon spoke.

“Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you and Luna grant us permission to go, what are the odds of this tight-ass general letting us dally around in his backyard?”

Celestia took a moment to think on the matter before speaking. “As I’ve said, I am lenient, perhaps to a fault. However, General Emerald Talon will not allow such valuable sources of knowledge such as yourselves to potentially forfeit your lives. Assuming my sister and I grant you such permission to begin with,” Celestia added.

“It doesn’t seem like he has much interest in little old us,” Keon reasoned. “I mean, he couldn’t even be bothered to show up here himself.”

“It is not safe to assume, my little human,” Celestia said with a smile. “General Emerald Talon had been away on a political undertaking of his own before I called this emergency summit. Even so, he made sure to send his sister, Captain Starly, in his stead. Furthermore, the news of you two has reached his ears, and he’s already extended an invitation for you to meet with him in the Griffin Republic's capital city, Volare.”

“That’s convenient. What are the odds that the guy we need to see sent us a personal invitation to meet him?” Chris pondered aloud.

“The odds are in fact quite good,” Celestia answered. “General Emerald Talon was only one of many to send invitations to you this morning. Soon gifts will follow and anything that could potentially win them your favor.”

“Win our favor? Why? Aliens or not, we’re just two random dudes,” Keon asked, keeping the happy thoughts of receiving gifts to himself. “We don’t have anything of value.”

“Nothing of value?” Chris echoed. “Dude, your netbook alone may as well be a goldmine here.”

Celestia nodded her agreement. “It is not just what potential advancements in technology you bring, but you have many ideas from your world that can be shared and learned from as well. Many will seek your favor in order to grasp that wealth for themselves. I’m sure that you now have a better understanding of why General Emerald Talon will more than likely deny your request.”

“And there’s nothing you can do?” Keon questioned. “You raise the sun, aren’t you like a goddess or something?”

Celestia giggled slightly. “I’m no goddess, thank the heavens. Raising the sun and moon had been done for centuries by unicorns before either I or my sister came to be and discovered our respective talents in doing so,” she explained. “Trust me, I have enough to oversee just being a princess, the title of goddess is something I’m rather happy to live without.”

Chris was silent, as he processed this new wave of information, before looking up at Celestia with understanding in his eyes. “…Celestia I’m… sorry,” he muttered. “This must all be a political nightmare for you. The entire world is looking at you, judging whatever decision you make in regards to us. I can’t even fathom the weight of it.”

“You needn’t be sorry,” Celestia assured Chris. “One does not live as long as I have without having learned to bear the pressure of being scrutinized by others. At least you understand the position I’m in and what I have to consider before each and every decision I make.”

“We understand,” Chris said, as he held his head low. “We won’t hold it against you if you don’t let us go.”

“We won’t?” Keon asked while looking at Chris in confusion.

“Yeah, we won’t,” Chris replied tightly. “Celestia and Luna put their necks out there for us earlier with those dragons. So much could have gone wrong in that scenario, and all just to keep you and me safe. We can at least heed whatever decisions they make and follow their rules, right?”

“I would think twice before you to try to play me for a fool,” Celestia warned, as she used her hoof to lift Chris’s chin towards her face to look him in the eye. “If you’re going to lie to me, I’d prefer you look me in the eye when doing so.”

Chris face faltered for a brief second, but enough for Celestia to notice it. “What do you mean lie to you?” he asked calmly.

“I do accept that your gratitude is genuine, but if your request is denied, will you truly abide to the decision?” Celestia asked. “I don’t believe Skyla would have praised humans for their tenacity if you were willing to give up so easily. I’m certain you’ll try to enter the Valley of the Changing Season with or without authorization, am I wrong?”

Chris sighed. “No, you’re not wrong,” he acknowledged. “Now that you caught me red handed, what will you do?”

“I’ll ask you this, how would you accomplish such a goal without the resources, finances and knowledge? I’m sure you thought all of this through, did you not?” Celestia asked, looking somewhat amused.

Although Celestia’s tone hadn’t been condescending, Chris couldn’t help but feel like he was being patronized. However, Celestia was right. He pondered. What did he really have to work with? He quickly realized that they had nothing.

Keon shrugged, as he said, “Face it, my man, we ain’t got jack-shit.” Much to Chris’s chagrin.

“I wouldn’t say you’re without anything,” Celestia reasoned. “You have me and my sister after all.”

“What do you mean?” Chris asked a bit skeptically.

Celestia regarded Chris and Keon for a moment nodding her head in thought. “If you would take this venture without receiving our consent, then it would be more advantageous to help you succeed in your endeavor rather than not,” Celestia explained. “In helping you achieve your goal, I believe both our parties have much to benefit.”

“We’re listening,” was all Chris said.

“Simply put, we wish to establish open relations with your world,” Celestia said. Both Chris's and Keon’s eyes widened at her words. “Obviously, this cannot be done without procuring an EON beforehoof, which is where our goals coincide. It’s all in theory, but Luna believes by your description that EONs open a gateway that could potentially be sustained after opening.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that,” Keon said, being the first to recover from Celestia’s revelation. “Luna I can understand, but no offense Princess, you seem way too old school to welcome something like this.”

Celestia quirked her brow. “A wise pony once said, progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. My little ponies have become complacent in their stagnation, for I have not the courage to usher in change. But now that my sister has returned, I’m ready to make that step with her by my side.”

“This is one helluva way to start, don’t you think?” Chris finally spoke, looking at Celestia with an unreadable expression. “You should know before making this choice that our world isn’t a warm glass of milk and cookies, and if you’re not willing to accept the good with the bad, then you may as well forget this idea here and now.”

“So, you are against the meeting of our worlds?” Celestia asked curiously.

“No, not at all. I just think that you’re making an uninformed decision,” Chris responded. “There’s just so much you have to consider, especially when your way of ruling has been a monarchy for over a thousand years. Have any of your subjects ever questioned your rule? That could change, when they realize there are a multitude of ways things can be done. After a few decades this world could look like something you’ve never imagined it could, be it good or bad. But then again, I’m just projecting human traits onto ponies because how similar we are.”

“Are you afraid that our world will lose its identity from human influence?”

“Who knows, but I do hear that more than a few ponies have taking a liking to grinding,” was Chris’s answer.

“I’m aware of the potential implications,” Celestia assured Chris. “I don’t intend to simply open the flood gates, as it were. All will be a slow trickle that will be heavily monitored. Don’t forget, a gate that can be opened can also be closed. Even so, I’d feel more confident in doing so if I know I have your support.”

“I don’t think I’m in a position to make a call this paramount, your Highness,” Chris answered.

“If not you, then who? I haven’t many humans to consult on the matter,” Celestia reasoned, as she turned to Keon. “What say you, Mr. Keon?”

“Well, I’m game, magic, dragons, and public nudity,” Keon answered without pause. “There’s just too much ridiculous shit here to say no.”

“Keon, we’re only ambassadors through circumstance, we don’t know what the hell we’re doing. Can you so readily make a choice for billions of people like this?” Chris asked with a stern expression.

“Haven’t you ever heard of seizing the moment?” Keon countered, with a huge grin. “Look, I’m not even going to pretend I know what’s best for people, because I don’t. All I know is we’ve got a chance to cement ourselves in history. Helping bridge two worlds, we’ll be more famous than Santa Claus and the Easter bunny combined. How can you say no to that? Besides, you want to get home, don’t you? We need their help, and you know it.”

Chris was quiet, as he mulled over what Keon had said. Admittedly, he knew he wasn’t as selfless as he was acting. And the thought of being named along with the greatest in history sounded more than enticing. Chris sighed, as he finally relented his stand on the matter. “If this is what you want for your world, then it’s your call,” he said to Celestia. “As for support, let’s just say you scratch our back and we’ll scratch yours and leave it at that.”

Celestia nodded her approval. “As a part of our arrangement, all funding you need will be provided. Furthermore, if Emerald Talon declines your request, I will see to it that you are provided a way into the Valley of the Changing Seasons,” Celestia then stuck out her right forehoof. “This is how humans seal a deal, is it not?”

Chris nodded, as he grabbed Celestia’s hoof with his hand and shook it firmly. “Whatever happened to rules?”

“Some rules were meant to be broken,” Celestia said with a coy smirk. “Now, in regards to your team.”

“Team?” Chris repeated.

Celestia smiled. “You didn’t believe I would allow you two to go alone, did you?”

Author's Note

Man that was one late update but it's finally done. In some news AZD will be turning one year old on the fifteenth so yay for that and if you've been here from the first chapter give yourself a pat on the back. 100,000+ words and it's now sitting at 1400 favorites, and over 950 up votes! I can't say I ever expected to write a story that would be this well received so thanks a bunch to everyone that supports this.

Anyway readers of DS expect a new chapter next week, it's done and is currently being edited. Well until the next chapter have a good one.