Discord and the Room

by Caffeinated Pinkie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 1370

Discord may be the god of chaos but somethings are too chaotic to him. Oh my old friend, organized chaos.

Discord is the god of chaos. But one day, he finds a room. A room filled with levels of chaos never before seen by the likes of him. To many people this jumbled up, junk filled room is nothing, but to Discord, it is pure evil. And Discord doesn't like evil anymore.

Published 2015-04-28 04:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-28 04:40:01 UTC

Oh Celestia Why...

Discord

Oh dear Celestia's translucent eyebrows... Where do I even began? This is just terrible. Evil. Horror. So much horror. I think my eyes are on fire. Yep there they are, on the ground. Who could do such a thing? I just... can't. Who dropped the acid on my face?.

Rainbow Dash

"Uh, Discord? Why are you running in circles?" I stare at Discord. And for that matter, why are his eyes on the ground? Something is definitely up. "Discord, stop!" I zoom in front of Discord, causing him to fall over with a crash. "What gives?"

Discord

Does she not see the dark forces of destruction strewn across the floor in the form of books, quills, papers, and toys? I gasp for breath trying to make sense of it all.

"What gives?" I start sarcastically. "Oh my, if only I could remember." I make a show of tapping my chin with a talon. Pulling out a magnifying glass, a pipe, and a hat, I began searching for clues. "Well, Watson, it appears that we are surrounded by a giant mess!" Rainbow Dash stares at me blankly as if her mind melted from the sight. My mind certainly melted. I'll have to remember to mop that up later.

"What?" Really? Wow.

"SIGH!" I shout through a megaphone. Ooh, I like that glare. I'll have to remember that with my photographic memory. I pull a camera from my head and take a picture, grinning wildly.

Rainbow Dash

"This is too much. Even for you." I start to walk out of the room in contempt.

"Oh, but whatever do you mean?" Discord asks diving in front of my face. His eyes are wide and filled to the brim with tears. I just sigh and continue my daring escape. Sometimes, I just can't stand that guy.

Discord

I watch sullenly as the prismatic tail disappears around the corner. I turn around to look at the mess when I'm unexpectedly greeted by a familiar cotton candy mane.

"Does somepony need a frown turned upside down?" Pinkie Pie turns her head completely upside down. She bounces out of the boxes strewn across the floor and the sound of a trumpet plays out of nowhere.

"Oh, but why yes I do," I whimper, turning my puppy dog eyes towards the pink mare.

Pinkie whips around to look at me. "In that case, I've got the BEST thing ever for you!" A grin unavoidably spreads across my face. One does not simply stay sad with Pinkie's antics. "I'M GONNA THROW YOU A PAAAAARRTAY!"

Unfortunately, desperate times call for desperate measures. "My apologies, Pinkie, but I must decline." I hear a balloon pop and Pinkie's mane visibly deflates. "I'm sorry, but this room is just in such disarray. I could never leave it hanging above my head like this." A picture of the distraught vicinities hangs above my head.

Her mane pops back up to its normal puffiness, "I bet I can help you with that!" A ding sounds just as she finishes her sentence. "YAY! That was my oven!" Pinkie Pie reaches into a cabinet and pulls out some steaming hot cookies. How she did that I have no clue, but I have learned not to question Pinkie's own form of chaos.

"Let there be cookies!" She squeals. All the sweets are subsequently tossed into her esophagus as she literally inhales them. That was when I remember I am still in the presence of the room in its infinite terror.

She must have noticed my eyes turn to pinpricks and my coat ghastly white because she quickly stops smiling. Or maybe it was the sight of my jaw actually falling off of my mouth. Ooooh, we should totally superficially tell GHOST STORIES! Ooooooh... Pinkie, please leave my thoughts. Ok... She grumbles to herself. Or is she mind grumbl— You know what? Nevermind.

"You know, we should totally get this room super duper tidy super clean!" Now that appeals to my tastes. A wide grin appears as I get excited. Finally, someone sees the problem laying in front of us. With a hurricane of motion (no really, she made a hurricane by moving so fast) the room is quickly cleaned. At least I assume it is. As the dust settles, I see no difference from before, except that the picture of me and Fluttershy is now at a right angle.

"So now can we party?!" Pinkie stands in place slowly vibrating. I face-paw, a nice solid sounding slap accentuating the action. I guess I'll be doing this on my own now. I quickly set to work.

—

In the past 59 minutes, I have successfully completed two things. One, the room is completely clean and ordered. Well, sort of. Ah, organized chaos, my old friend. The other miracle I managed is getting Pinkie Pie to doze off in the corner. Somehow, she was so bored from all the cleaning, she actually fell asleep. I didn't realize that was possible.

With Pinkie Pie snoring the roof off in the corner, I decide to go for a walk. That's when I realize the unfortunate truth that I had been inside all day. In an attempt to recover my sanity, I equip an umbrella hat as well as head, arm, and leg bands while I do a light knee-up jog along the streets.

—

Twilight Sparkle

A loud knocking on the door draws my attention away from the book I'm reading. I mark my place and timidly set An Advanced Guide to the Parallels Between Chemistry and Calculus down on the table. I guess I'll have to do my joy reading once I answer this.

"Yes?" I ask, sounding slightly more annoyed than I meant to be. Although I guess the visitor did interrupt one of my favorite books. Said visitor, whom I identify as a water-soaked Discord, falls to my hooves with a smack and looks up with a pleading look in his eyes. I glance outside for a moment to confirm it wasn't raining.

"Oh, please don't throw me back out to those—" Discord leans closer to me in what I assume to be dramatic effect, "—monsters." With a bewildered look on my face, I gaze outside to see nothing but ordinary ponies going about their businesses.

"Are you okay, Discord?" The draconequus simply shakes his head feebly in response.

—

After Discord drank some tea he seemed to relax. I'm still confused about Discord's actions earlier and I'm certainly going to question him.

He cuts me off before I can speak. "I am so deeply sorry about the rude— erm... introduction earlier." He turns to look out the window before continuing. "I've just had such a stressful day. First it was the mayor's office, then it was Fluttershy's and..." Discord just keeps his gaze steady and sighs deeply. "I just have not been able to find a single neat location, well until I came here. And thank Celestia for that."

I'm about to open my mouth to respond when Rainbow Dash comes crashing through my window, throwing shards of glass everywhere, books flying to the floor. A look towards Discord's limp body causes me to smirk in satisfaction.

"Sorry."

Author's Note

Do you ever start writing a story, then get stuck on trying to continue the narration smoothly? Or run out of ideas? Ya. I do. I probably started writing and erased the story like 4 times at least. Discord isn't really all that hard to write about actually. But then I added in Pinkie Pie. Sigh. I did not dare go into her perspective. I'm sure she would have noticed and started writing her own fanfic that destroys the internet. Oh I wouldn't do that. Pfft. Wait, I don't think I've seen you before on FimFiction.net! I totally need to throw you a party and have cake and balloons and fudge and pudding and friends and light and music and...

[6/19/2015] Went ahead and fixed some errors and improved the wording a few times throughout the story.

[8/25/2017] I fixed A LOT of grammar mistakes. I also changed a fair amount of sentences and words to just generally work far better.