Reworking the Variations

by PonyEssence

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Tragedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 3868

A human, stuck in Equestria. Thank you Celestia. You could have put a little more thought into your actions.

Jesse, a young human living the human life, suddenly finds him in a new world. Luckily, past meetings with Celestia saves him his sanity as his life changed for the more… interesting things in life.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-28 23:30:02 UTC

The start of an- Oh wait, thats not an original name at all.

Two weeks. Thats how long i’ve been stuck in ponyland. Forced into a strange world and told that there was no way to reverse the spell that brought me here, I was put into a position unlike anything I would have ever thought I would have experienced. In the first of those two weeks, I stayed in a castle in a place called Canterlot.

While I was there, Celestia introduced me to a few ponies, one of which being a complete dick. The others were nice enough. After that, Celestia took me to the Gala that just so happened to be going on at the time. Of course, nobody was supposed to see me. I scared Luna and she removed her invisibility spell that she had placed on me. She forgot to put it back on and once they left and the guards decided I was a threat. That lead to me being arrested, then soon released, where a pony named Shining Armor who thought that I would make a good punching bag for his guards decided to pick me up.

After that, I was shipped of to Ponyville as Celestia assumably could no longer guarantee my security. And no, I didn’t actually hurt anyone. Infact, i’m ashamed to say that I got my ass handed to me by a pony.

In the week i’ve been in Ponyville, surprisingly little has happened. It was mostly me just laying around, doing nothing. The only event of interest was when Celestia stopped by to apologize for kicking me out of Canterlot. She left shortly after, leaving me to the grips of boredom once more.

So now, i’m here. Cooking pancakes for Twilight and Spike because I have nothing better to do with my life. Also, I felt it was right to finally repay Twilight for her hospitality. Cooking was always something I felt at home doing. In a sense, it was a way to deal with the hardships in life, something to take my mind away from what's happening around me. Perhaps thats why I didn’t notice Spike standing next to me.

“Whatchya cookin” He asked, staring straight at me. I jumped, startled by the sudden interruption. After calming down, I answered him by handed him a plate with a stack of pancakes on it as a response. He took it in his little claws, licking his maw as he shifted his gaze to greedily watch the plate come closer to his mouth. “ Oh! Pancakes!”

It took him seconds to gobble down the entire stack and hand the plate back to me. “ More please!” I took the plate, shaking my head, but put more pancakes on it despite knowing Twilight wouldn’t be happy with my fattening up her best assistant.

“ This can’t be healthy for you.” I said, handing him the plate with more fluffy goodness on it.

“ I don’t think a few pancakes will hurt me,” He responded, lifting the plate to his mouth and swallowing the stack whole. I originally assumed only he could do that due to him being reptilian, as many reptiles back home could do it. Pinkie proved that assumption wrong… He mmmd and set the plate down again. “ You should be a cook Jesse. You’re really good!”

“ Anyone can make Pancakes, Spike.” I replied. “ Besides, most of what I know, a pony wouldn’t eat.”

“ Why not?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“ You ever eat meat?” I asked. He recoiled, looking disgusted.

“ Twilight says dragons don’t eat meat and that its bad for us.”

That, caught me by surprise. Spike had sharp teeth, and I doubt those are good for eating gems.  “Predator to predator Spike, sharp teeth are for meat.”

He puffed his little chest out, trying to look intimidating. “ Twilight wouldn’t lie to me!”

I chuckled at that while I tried to formulate a response, but nothing came up. I hadn’t known Twilight long enough to know her well and I wouldn’t want to make her mad at me. Luckily, as this world seems to run on cartoon logic, Twilight came down the stairs at that very moment, saving me from giving Spike my opinion on what Twilights been telling him.

“ I smell pancakes!” She said in a sing song voice, “ and I sure hope spike didn’t eat them all.”

She hit the bottom of the stairs and made her way to the kitchen where me and Spike were talking. “ You didn’t eat them all did you?”

“ No!” He hastily responded, turning to me, “ Right Jesse? Theres still more.”

“ Not anymore there aren’t. I’m going to have to make more,” I replied, turning back to the stove to continue cooking.

A few moments passed without a sound as Twilight glared daggers at Spike. “ How much longer till more are done?” She asked.

“ Now” I responded, putting four of the cakes from the pan onto a plate and handing it to her. She gave me her thanks and went to sit at the table.

It was at that moment I heard the door open and silently click shut. I looked over to Twilight who seemed to have also heard it. She had gotten up from her chair, entering the front room to confront whomever had entered. Just a moment later, I saw a flash and was looking at the blank walls of my room. I just sighed, letting myself fall onto the bed.

Several minutes later, I appeared back in the main room of the library. Whoever had came in was gone, but Twilight was watching the door, assumably checking to see if anypony else was coming.  “ It’s clear for now,” She said, turning to face me, “ but be careful.I don’t want to get in trouble.”

I don’t know how word of me hasn’t spread already. Celestia may have told the nobles not to tell anyone since so many of them saw me dragged to the ground and cuffed, but I doubt the possibility that every one of them kept their mouths shut. Made me want to run to the door and throw it open just to spite, but that very well may be hazardous to my existence.

She started again, seeming to read my thoughts, “ Celestia will be coming to Ponyville to meet with the mayor today. Maybe I can convince her to allow you reveal yourself sooner.”

“ I would like that,” I mumbled.

“ Good. While i’m gone, you’re going to have to watch Spike. Have fun!” With that, she threw the door open and trotted away, locking it as she left. Why didn’t she do that earlier?

I turned and walked back into the kitchen where Spike still was. As soon as I entered, he reminded me of the question he had recently asked, but I was never able to give an answer to. “ What are you going to do now that you're stuck in Equestria?” He must have remembered when he suggested I became a cook.

The question stung at my heart, but I pushed the feeling away. There isn’t a reason to dwell on what can’t be fixed, after all. “ I don’t know.” I answered back, sitting down in a chair and resting my head in my arms. “ What is there that I even can do?” He shrugged his shoulders, just as unsure as I was.

“ What do you like doing?”

I looked over at him, saying, “ Are you going to give me a lecture about doing something with my life?”

“ Uh…No. But i’m sure Twilight would if you asked her!” I groaned at that. In the week i’ve been here, Twilight has given me more lectures than my college professors. Combined.

Suddenly, a knocking came from the door. Spike got up to answer it, but I stopped him by placing my hand on his shoulder.  “ Ignore it.”

He sat down and the knocking soon stopped to be replaced by the sound of the door opening. I looked at Spike, confused. “ It’s one of Twilights friends. She told them where a key would be if she was ever out.”

“ Oh. Lets got greet them then.” I stood, walking to the living room with Spike on my heels. It was Rarity and a filly I didn’t recognize, though, she did resemble Rarity in appeance. “ Didn’t know you had a daughter.” I said, looking at the filly beside her.

Rarity looked up to me, somewhat confused. “ Daughter?” She asked, as though she had never heard the word.

Right, horse terms. “ Uh… Foal, I think.” I looked down at Spike. “ Thats what parents call their kids right?”

He nodded and Rarity took a step forward, looking somewhat offended. “ I, am not a goat,” she said matter of factly. “ And she is not my foal. She is my little sister.” Rarity gently pushed her sister forward.

“ Hi! I’m SweetieBelle!” She looked slightly nervous, probably never having seen anything of my size. Seeing her stand next to Rarity, I could see that she was just over half her size. Her cutie mark was what looked like a pink treble clef with a heart at the end of its tail.

Rarity stepped forward, pushing her sister back with a back of her foreleg. “ Twilight thought it would do good to introduce you to a few foals to see how they reacted. Speaking of whom, where is Twilight.” She looked around the room to emphasize her point.

“ Apparently Celestia came to town. She went to see if Celestia would allow me a big appearance.”

“ I never heard anything about Celestia coming here.”

“ Do you have a cutie mark!” Silence reigned for a few seconds after Sweetie asked her question.

“ Humans don’t get cutie marks.” I replied. She looked disappointed at that and kicked at the ground. Just a second after word, her head popped back up and she spouted out another question.

“ How do you know what your super special talent is then?”

I had to think on that for a second. “ For us, its just finding something you would like to do for the rest of your life and sticking to it. Although, not everyone gets to do what they want and its not quite that simple.”

She gasped, along with Rarity and Spike. “ Everypony doesn’t get to do what they want! How can that be!”

I shrugged my shoulders. “ Everybody wants the jobs that pay the most. To get those jobs, we have to go through several extra years of school and most people can’t afford it.”

Rarity seemed to be shrinking in her hooves. “ You have to pay for school!” It was at this time I realized pony’s were very dramatic. Or is that just Rarity? Or are all ponies dramatic and Rarity is just the greater of two actors?

“ Not the first thirteen years, but after that, yes,” I said with a wave of my hand, “ But enough of that. Lets move onto greener fields.” Rarity corrected herself, standing to her full heights. By full heights, I mean she barely came to my waist.

“ Alright,” Rarity stated, pulling  at a collar she didn’t have. Wierd seeing a pony do that... “I’m sure Sweetie Belle here is very interested in what kinds of music you have where you come from. I myself i’m curious as to the fashion of your world.I would have asked earlier, but Twilight insisted I should wait till you had more time to adjust to your life here.”

“ Right,” I muttered wistfully, rubbing at the back of my neck. “ I can’t even name all the different kinds of music. As for fashion,” I pointed to my plain red shirt that I had been wearing for the past week. And yes, I did wash it. “ This is as fashionable as i’ll go.”

She mumbled something that sounded like, “ I can work with that,” but i’m not going to say I was completely solid on mumbles alone. “ If you would be so kind, can I take your measurements. You’ve been wearing that same… thing for the past week now.”

Knowing Rarity what little I did, I couldn’t help but ask a certain question that popped up as soon as she mentioned clothing. “ Was the entire purpose of you coming here to ask me about clothing in my world?”

For a moment, she looked insulted, but that look quickly faltered. “ No.” It was an obvious lie, but I decided not to antagonize her about it. I’ve seen magic in work, and that wasn’t something I want used against me. Especially if Rarity was anywhere near as talented as Twilight. “ If you don’t mind,” She said, looking at me like she was waiting.

I lifted my arms and she brought out a measuring tape out of her saddlebags which I had been ignorant to till that moment. She used her magic to lift my arms and position my legs for her ease and went to work. Apparently Sweetie Belle thought that was as good as any time to start asking more questions. “ Were you still in school before you came to Equestria?”

I rubbed my eyes, much to Rarities disliking. “ I was in my first year of College.”

“ What did you want to be when you grew up?” That question alone was enough to dig a small hole in my heart, knowing it was something I would never be able to do here. Rarity seemed to pick up on my short pause and shoed her little sister away.

“ Please excuse her,” She said, “ Shes young and doesn’t know any better.”

“ No damage done.”

She gave me a ‘ I know your lying’ face and said, “ Theres no need to keep such false truths to yourself. If anypony knowns how important ones destiny is, its going to be a pony.” With that, she wrapped her forehooves around my waist in a hug. “ If you ever want to talk about it with anypony, just come to me.” She released me and walked out the door, taking Sweetie Belle with her.

Before I could even take a seat, Twilight walked in, looking rather emotionless. “ Hey Twilight, “ I said. She looked up at me and down to Spike.

“ Please leave.” She said, her voice lacking just as much emotion as she looked. Spike did as she said, leaving the room to me and Twilight alone. Once he was gone she started to approach me and asked the question, “ What do you think of me?”

It caught me off guard, but the question was simple enough to answer. It took me a moment to answer, but when I did, I said,“ You’re nice. A bit anti-social and you’re clingy. Whenever Celestia is around, shes all you seem to be able to talk or think about. Thats about all i’ve got.”

She nodded her head and lifted her body to hug me. “ Thanks. I just… I, pet me.”

I jerked back, not thinking she would ask such a thing. Twilight is normally so… secluded and to herself that such a thing wouldn’t seem like her at all. But, nonetheless, I lifted my hand and started to stroke her mane.

I found her surprisingly soft and enjoyable to pet and it seemed like she was enjoying it as well. Eventually, she pulled away. “ Thanks.” She said. Then, she pulled a small necklace out of… somewhere. I don’t even know. The object had what looked like a pony’s head, somewhat like Celestia with a horn and wings sprouting from where the neck of the head met the triangular base. In the middle was a small red gem of sorts. “ I got this for you. I thought you might like it if I got you something.”

I took the necklace in my hands, allowing the chain to fall through my fingers. “ Uh… Thanks, Twilight.” I couldn’t help but let a small smile come to my face. “ Most guys don’t wear necklaces where I come from, but-”

“If you don’t like it, I can take it back!” This wasn’t anything like Twilight.

“ No. It’s fine. Nobody knows what humans wear and this’ll at least get Rarity off my back about being so ‘Style deaf’.”

“ Oh good!” She said, sounding relieved and rubbing her back around my leg as she twisted around it. “ I was starting to think you didn’t like it. Anyways, I got to get back to my errands. I picked that up for you and came straight back. Ta-ta! Oh! And don’t tell anypony about it. Also, meet me at the edge of the Everfree tonight.” With that, she ran right back out the door. That… definitely didn’t seem like Twilight.

I just shrugged my shoulders and went about my day. In all reality, I didn’t know Twilight that well. We spend only a small amount of time together as she was always out doing one thing or another. Most of what I knew was from listening to Spike, and surprisingly enough, that wasn’t much to go off of. While we were together, she would always ask questions about my world. Maybe she got me this to try and get me to open up?

Spike choose that moment to walk back in. “ What was that about?” He asked, sniffing the air.

I almost told him what had happened, but remembered Twilight had told me to keep quiet.“ Nothing important.” I replied, “ Twilight just had to drop something off.”

He rubbed his nose. “ Oh. Ok. Uh… do you smell that.” I couldn’t smell anything out of the ordinary.

“ Nope. What's it smell like?” I asked.

He sniffed at the air once again, approaching me slowly. “ Smells like a cat.” Welp. That was anticlimactic, but then again, what would I have been expecting. He hummed to himself for a second. “ If you see a cat, tell Twilight. Those things a pure evil.” Heh. He too left the room, rubbing at his nose.

For some reason, I imagined a pony using giant eye drops.

A few hours later, I was visited by a very shy, and if I will, adorable pony named Fluttershy. Twilight had yet to return, so I was left to greet her at the door once Spike had cleared me for entrance.

“Fluttershy,” I said, nodding to her as she entered my vision.

She nodded in response. “ I was wondering how you were doing,” She asked tagging a ,” If you don’t mind me asking,” at the end.

I simply shook and said, “ The best way I can say it is, slightly depressed.” This pony has come by every day to ask that same question… normally I would tell her I was fine, but I didn’t feel like lying to her today. I sat down on the couch, inviting her over with a pat on the cushion next to me. Knowing the question that was soon to come, I said, “ Changing everything you’ve ever known is… difficult. I would have completely broken down the second I stepped foot in Equestria if Celestia hadn’t visited me when I was younger.”

“ Oh you poor thing!” she cried as she wrapped her hooves around my stomach in a strangely tight hug. I let it go for a second before pushing her away when it became uncomfortable. “ Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m good.” She awkwardly rubbed her hooves together. It was plain the neither of us knew where to take the conversation. Because of that, I immediately said, “ Celestia decided I can tell everyone about me being here,” to keep it from becoming even more awkward.

“ Oh thats good! When are you going to?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“ Can you keep a secret?” I asked. She thought about it for a second before nodding her head. “ Twilight asked me to meet her at the edge of the everfree tonight. I’m guessing that has something to do with it.” Twilight didn’t actually ask me to keep that part secret, but better safe to make sure she doesn’t say anything.

“ Then we should get going. It’s dark already.” I hadn’t realized how late it was, but a glance at the window proved her correct. I could barely see outside from where I was. “ She probably wants to meet you at my cottage since its right at the edge.” If this wasn’t ponyland, I would have found that suspicious, but this was Fluttershy, the living embodiment of innocence.

She took my hand in her hooves, tugging lightly towards the door. It was dark out and every pony was presumably already back home. I would have guessed Fluttershy to be one of those ponies. Maybe she stopped by the library on her way home?

We made it in good time, nobody being out in the roads as it was late and all. It took us much longer to find Twilight. Fluttershy was at my legs the entire time, pushing against them whenever a twig snapped or something made some random sound in the distance. Turns out, when Twilight had said ‘edge of the Everfree’ she meant right on the path to go in.

Fluttershy kept on sniffing the air as if something was off while we approached. Once we were close and Twilight noticed us, Fluttershy looked up to me and said, “ I smell a cat”.

I thought back to when Spike has said the same thing. Twilight had just left the room as he walked in, but he didn’t smell anything when she first walked in. Now Fluttershy could smell one as well and looked like she would jump at the slightest hint of danger. Something became very clear to me at that moment, and it was if Ponies can talk and defy everything i’ve ever known about them, theres nothing here to say that cats can’t be the same way. And if Spike said that cats are evil, they might just be evil.

“ Maybe we should go back,” I said, slightly afraid and disturbed of what a evil, magic powered cat might be like.

She shook her head, quivering in fear. “ Its to late,” She said, “ She’s already seen us.” Fluttershy pointed towards the shape that looked like Twilight.

I looked over to that cat. She indeed was coming our way. I wanted to turn back, but something forced me to stay in place. I too started to shake.

That cat started to run towards us, losing its disguise. Her hooves quickly became paws with extended claws. New, sharp teeth replaced replaced her flat ones. Her coat started to change all at the same, going from its light purple to a sickly, near black color.

The next thing I knew was darkness alone.