Good day to you. I am Northwind. And this is the story of a place beyond the Crystal Empire, a place I thought was my destiny, a place I call Magnetic North. Even when I was a young colt, I wanted to travel, and when I got my cutie mark for monitoring and predicting snow fall -admittedly it is more suited for a pegasus- well, I decided then and there that I wanted to go North.
My story, and the story of the two other ponies I dragged into my quest, however, does not begin anywhere remotely near the Crystal Empire. In fact, it begins in Canterlot, the jewel of Equestria, on a bright and cheerful Sunday afternoon. Now, I don't think I need to tell you that I'm a bit of a charming stallion, you likely already guessed simply from how eloquent I am, and on this day in particular I decided to try my luck at taking a noble mare out for a night. All was going swell, I had entered a noble high tea without a hitch and had caught the ear of a beautiful mare, ready to deliver a simply smashing compliment when, much to my retrospective dismay, I appeared to have lost her, and uttered something completely unfounded into the ear of our newly returned Princess Luna.
"Your mane, I cannot look upon it, for it shimmers and shines with all the beauty of the night sky," I stated my eyes, which a mere second ago were tightly sealed, slowly opening, "And yet I cannot bear not to, for it is a sight worth risking my eyes for," I finished with flair, at which point it was followed by a hastily whispered, "Aww, bloody hell, I'm fer the chop now." I had just flirted with Celestia's own sister.
"Would you care to repeat what it was that you just said to me!?" bellowed the deafening Canterlot Royal Voice. I looked up, half expecting to meet an ax midswing as I did so, straight into the face of our princess. Her face was red, although whether that was rage or embarrassment, I'll never get to find out, because my immediate reaction to a bad situation is to be charming. And in this instance, that was a very, very bad response.
"I was simply blinded by your royal elegance, my Princess," I crooned as soothingly as possible, although considering my suave facade was now fractured beyond all repair, it was likely sandpaper pouring forth from my lips straight into the face of royalty. However, I breathed a small sigh of relief as her face slowly returned to a normal shade of blue. Although, what happened afterwards was certainly enough to throw me and everyone else at the little social gathering.
With a deep and meaningful breath, Luna proudly said, "Very well then young stallion, I shall ask my sister if she would permit you to court me." The reaction was exactly as expected, every noble pony at the bloody event essentially toppled over, and I think my gaping maw gave the impression I was in shock. Suffice to say I was, quite deeply so.
Under normal circumstances, I would have outright been rejected, and moved on. It was a rarity that anyone said yes to me, and when they did, our relationships rarely lasted, which didn't really matter, as there were no negative repercussions. However this was a very special pony, not just any pony however, she was royalty, hurting her would likely mean instant execution. All of my thoughts turned to escape, I had to flee, to run. Anything was better than risking my neck, even if it meant dating a beautiful princess. I turned and ran, which was probably a bad idea anyway.
I ran out into the streets of Canterlot, only to hear the beating of somewhat larger and more attractive than usual wings bearing down on me. I didn't stop, and for a full minute I was sure I was about to die, especially when a blinding white light appeared before me. With a wrathful tone to her voice, the bloody Princess of the Sun bellowed, "Who are you to believe you can toy with Luna's feelings!" I stopped, along with my heart. It's not every day you are confronted by the full fury of the sun. "Well?" I gulped, and attempted to compose myself as best I could.
"My Princess, I..." I trailed off, wondering what I should say. I still wanted to travel north, to explore beyond the known borders of Equestria, I couldn't do that while courting Luna, and even then, there was no guarantee courting her wouldn't result in my death. Then it hit me like a piano dropped by an incompetent mailmare. That was my way out, and my way to live my dream. "I cannae court Luna until I feel I have proved mysel' worthy o' her," I said, my suave, refined Canterlot voice all but forgotten in favor of my natural accent, "and I will not feel worthy until I've explored beyond the Northern borders of Equestria herself."
The Princess smiled what would have been a knowing smile, if I hadn't just lied through my teeth, and calmly said, "Very well young stallion, I shall consider allowing you to court my sister," her voice rose, as if to make a spectacle, "but only after you return to me with proof you have explored beyond the limits of Equestrias Northernmost border." Had the situation been anything but this, I'd be overjoyed at getting to travel North, but now I had a quest alongside this journey, and an unfortunate duty to fulfill it. If I'd known then what I do now, I'd have quite happily prepared myself for the arduous task of courting the Princess of the Moon. After all, risking my head daily is a much better way to live than some of the other options out there.
