Dan’s epic adventure in the land of equestria!

by Wizard_of_Love

Rating: mature
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Sex, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human
Length: 2564

Danny Sexbang, known for his works on NSP and Game Grumps, is learning wizardry. One day, he finds a spell that takes him to the magical land of Equestria. He banged a lot, like damn.

Danny Sexbang, known for his works on NSP and Game Grumps, is learning wizardry. One day, he finds a spell that takes him to the magical land of Equestria, where adventures will be abound. Also, lots of sexual content will happen. He already conquered Earth and the Universe, so interdimensional travel is the next step.
This fic contains the 3 great C's: Comedy, Crossover, Clop. So, yeah, that is something.

Published 2015-04-28 08:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-28 08:50:04 UTC

Get magic, get down (with an unicorn)

Lyra Heartstrings is a mint-coated unicorn with a strange love for humans. Creatures that allegedly don’t exist. It was her sunday of, so she went into the dangerous Everfree Forest to see if she can find any evidence of human activity.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Danny Sexbang, half of “Ninja Sex Party” and master in the arts of love finished training his freaking awesome magic powers and learned how to teleport himself to a magical land. Unbeknownst to him this would take him straight to Equestria, land of ponies. More specifically, in the very same Everfree Forest.

“This doesn’t seem that magical. This doesn’t seem magical at all! OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?” he exclaimed when he saw a manticore, a lion-scorpion-bat creature. “This is AWESOME, but it’s not what I imagined when I found this spell!”

Suddenly, a green ray of magic came from behind him and hit the manticore in the stomach, making it run away. Dan turned back to say “Thank You”, but stopped midsentence, mouth agape when he saw what saved him was the beautiful mint unicorn.

“Oh my god, you’re a beautiful unicorn!” “Oh my Celestia, you’re a beautiful human!” They both said at the same time. “I mean. uuuhh... Just...” They said, again, at the same time. Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Hey uh... Thanks for saving me from that thing. I’m Danny. Danny Sexbang. What’s yours?”

“I’m Lyra Heartstrings. I can’t believe you’re real! a real human right in front of me! can I touch you?”

“Oh yes baby. You don’t even have to ask. But I can’t believe you either, unicorns are mythological where I came from.”

“Humans are that here too. But I always believed they existed and they do! Where are you from?” She said while touching his hands.

“I think I’m from another dimension, actually. I used a spell to get here. I’m a freaking ninja wizard-”

“You’re a human wizard? that’s even more incredible than I thought! an all powerful wizard?”

“Oh no, I’m just an apprentice. Even though I’m the only one in my world, or something.”

Lyra suddenly hugged him.

“So warm...”

“OK, this is getting a little weird. I should be going now...” Dan said, even though he didn’t know how to come back.

“NO! Wait. Would you come with me please?”

“yeah, bab- I mean, alright, I’ll go”

Dan followed Lyra and they went back to her house. They were getting weird looks and Lyra said she “Told them so”. She couldn’t be happier.

“I want you to meet a good friend of mine.” Lyra said while unlocking the door. A white-ish coated pony with candy-like mane was sitting in the couch inside.

“Oh hey Lyra. How was your- Wait. Is that-?”

“Yes! He is an actual, living, breathing human! I told you they were real! Ahem. Danny, this is Bonbon, my roommate.”

“Nice to meet you miss Bonbon.”

“uh... N-nice to meet you too. Lyra, where did you find him?”

“He was on the Everfree. He said he’s from another dimension or something like that. Oh, and I saved him from a Manticore.”

“Yeah, she’s awesome!” Dan exclaimed, very happily.

“So, can he stay here with us for a while?” Lyra asked, putting her puppy eyes to the max.

“Yes, he can, I guess. For a few days.”

And so Dan made himself home at the two generous ponies house. But there was the question of where he was going to sleep. Dan tried to convince Lyra that he could stay in the couch

“Don’t mind it, the couch is just fine.”

“No, no you’re our guest. You can have my bed.”

“I can’t let you sleep in the couch after all you did to me. I don’t mind sleeping in the couch.”

“Why don’t you two just sleep together?” Bonbon said, annoyed at the situation.

they mumbled something like “Well, I guess, I mean, we’re just friends and uuuhh...” over each other.

“Yeah, fine by me.” Danny resolved.

“I guess.” Lyra was blushing a little, almost unnoticeable.

“I... was just joking, but fine. at least you’ll shut up for now.” Bonbon went back to her bedroom.

Later that night, the two of them were in the bed together, not knowing each other was still wide awake.

“Hey, Lyra. I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a little worried because I actually don’t know how to come back.”

“Don’t worry, Celestia will help you go back when you want to.”

“Who is Celestia?”

“She’s our leader, the princess. She’s the most powerful among us and she controls the sun.”

“WOW really!? she controls the sun? that’s totally awesome! But I think I’ll stay for a little while, I mean, what harm is there in it? Hey, wanna go down and watch some TV?”

“Yes, let’s go.”

They went downstairs and while Lyra turned on the TV, Danny went to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“Oh my god, you have donuts here. That’s freaking awesome!”

“You love donuts too? I love them a lot! come here, I think there’s a documentary about Celestia in the Discovery.”

“Sure, that would be cool.”

Lyra lifted the controller with magic and started zapping through the channels. Some infomercials, Late night 80s action movies, stuff that isn’t allowed before midnight, some stupid adult cartoons aaaaand there it is. Dan glossed over the fact that it was exactly like the Discovery channel back on Earth and they sat there.

Dan looked at Lyra for a second while the documentary was talking about Celestia's earlier years. He couldn’t help but notice she was a very beautiful creature, what with being magical and all. He then put his arms around her shoulders, classic move. She blushed and rested her head on his chest while they watched the story of the Elements of Harmony. they snuggled a little when Danny decided to do a wild move.

“Hey, would it be crazy if I told you I always wanted to kiss a unicorn?” It’s true. He never thought too much about it, but suddenly he couldn’t let that thought get off his mind.

“What if I told you I always wanted to kiss a human.” OH SHIII it’s happeni- I mean, Lyra answered, to Dan’s surprise.

“Would you mind if I got my wish granted?” No more words were said. Lyra already sealed her lips with Danny’s in a passionate kiss that lasted some seconds, Tongues exploring each other and all that. Holy shit, I did not expect to narrate such a story. I mean, uuh... they were going wild with making out, and after a while, things got a little crazier.

“Dan, I want to explore more of the human body.” Lyra said, making Dan’s heart skip a beat.

“Do... Do you really mean what I think you mean?”

“Yes. I do. Take of your blue... what is that, anyway?”

“It’s called a kimono.” He quickly, unwrapped it, revealing his giant, erect shaft “It’s out and I’m ready, baby.”

“Oh my... that’s so different from a stallion!” She said, putting a hoof on it, feeling along the shaft.

“Yeah, that actually feels very good.” Dan said, surprised that hooves aren’t that bad for the job (the hand job). But only that won’t do. He needed more, he wanted more. He wanted to fully pleasure this mare, make she feels the mutual love that must be the carnal relation.

He brushed her mane with his hands, which made her blush and give a coy smile. Then he slowly shifted her head closer to his schlong, and Dan couldn’t expect what happened next: she saw what was going on, and rushed with her mouth open to lick it. Lick some more. Lick the balls. And then, she slowly made her way down his cane with her mouth. Then back up, and down a few times. This was making Danny go crazy, her mouth just felt so warm and passionate. Just as he was getting closer to the edge, he told her to stop.

“Why? D-did I do something wrong?”

“No, you are going too good, actually. But, don’t you want some more before I nut?”

“Obviously, yes.”

“Then turn around.” She did, and she lifted her tail, showing Dan her winking pussy, her anus, and her delightful tits. He was amazed by that display. He went straight for the prize, started with a few licks, tasting her sweet juices. Then, he dug his face deeper into her like it was a bagel. A delicious pussy bagel. He hit her sweet spot, making Lyra almost scream, just holding it in because she didn’t want to wake Bonbon up.

“I think you’re ready for the next step.”

“YE- yes. I need it. put it in, I feel like I’m burning inside”

Without hesitation, Danny inserted his 7 and 3/4 cock slowly inside her, making sure to keep a steady rhythm. Her warmth made it almost impossible to hold himself back, but it didn’t matter because he knew she was about to cum too. After timing it perfectly, they came together, her twitching pussy only squeezing him for more. It felt like minutes their orgasms, and they quickly fell asleep, spooning in a couch, somehow.

~The next Day~
“And that concludes our 9 hours full documentary of the life of Celestia. Good morning.”

“I guess you just decided to both ditch the bed and watch that long documentary, huh?”

Dan suddenly woke up surprised yelling “OH GOD!” and fell out of the couch. “Is that documentary seriously still on? Who would watch this shit?”

“Nobody really. Forgot it was that long.” Lyra woke up.

“So I woke up last night to get a donut and found you two in the couch. I saw and heard everything.”

“Oh boy that’s awkward. Look, I’m sorry I took all your donuts, but they were really good and-”

“That’s not the point, Dan! Lyra, you just jumped on him like-”

“Hey now, ms. Bonbon. I gave the idea, she just wanted it too.”

“It’s heat season and she already had an obsession with humans. You were just lucky.”

“No, I like him also because he is a cute and funny guy and he have some magic on him.” Lyra retorted.

“Well then, maybe you should take him to Celestia to check that magic if it’s so ‘powerful’.”

“I will. Surely something must have happened after he arrived. So... let’s get going Dan. See you later bons.”

“Finally a little moment alone...” thought Bonbon as she rushed upstairs to relieve some heat by herself.

They took the train to Canterlot and nothing much happened in the way. A little chit-chat, Dan told her about his band Ninja Sex Party, him playing video games for the internet and they did a quickie in the bathroom. Oh, you don’t want to her that, it’s just a uncomfortable and quicker version of last night. Anyway, they arrive at the glorious city of Canterlot.

“I just realized this city’s name sounds like a pun on Camelot and I feel stupid for not noticing before.”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. So, that’s a beautiful castle.” Dan stopped to admire the Canterlot castle, home of the princesses of this land.

They entered the castle, escorted by some of the guards to the throne room.

“Your highness-” Dan started, kneeling in front of her.

“No need for that, you can just call me Celestia.”

“Well, then.” He cleared his throat. “Celestia, my name is Daniel Sexbang and I’m here to ask of you if there’s a way for me to come back to my home world.”

“Yes Danny. I do believe you’re from Earth, right? It’s the only place I know that has humans.”

“That’s correct, am I in another dimension?”

“Yes. Our land, Equestria, is just close to Earth in the parallel dimensions. That’s why you came there so easy. I can help you. Luna!” She called her sister, Luna, who was close to the throne room.

“Yes, Tia?”

“Could you bring me that amulet, in the magically locked drawer. You know the one.”

“Yes, we’ll be back in just a second.” Luna teleported out of the room. After a few seconds of silence, Dan spoke again.

“So, was that your sister?”

“Yes, my beloved sister, Luna. She controls the Moon, while I control the Sun.”

“That’s so awesome!” Then Luna came back with the amulet.

“There it is sister. So who is this... human, is that it?”

“Yes, I’m a human, and my name is Daniel Sexbang. And, I must say, you two are very gorgeous princesses” He bowed once again.

“No need to flatter us, sir Daniel. Now, if you excuse us, we must go back to our quarters.” Luna said while walking to her room, and Dan caught a glimpse of a wink that was not from her eyes. So, it really is heat season.

“So... What is this amulet anyway?” Dan inquired after Luna left.

“It will help you go back and forth between the dimensions, that’s basically it.”

“Cool. So, just a thing before I go. Hey, Lyra.”

“Yes, Danny?” She replied, a little bit of sadness in her eyes.

“I have to go home now, but I’ll be back when I have some time. And I’ll visit you.” He then hugged her tightly and she reciprocated.

“Just don’t take too long. Well... Goodbye Dan.” He doesn’t reply. He just french her for a moment (not a medieval moment, just a small instant).

And in just a second, Celestia gave him the amulet, he put it in his neck, grabbed it, focused and away he was in a quick blue flash.

Dan feels like he just woke up and his cellphone was ringing..

“Hellooo baby.”

“Hey Dan it’s me Arin.”

“Oh hey Arin. How are you doing? Can you believe I had the craziest dream where I banged a unicorn?”

“That’s weird and crazy and all, but I’ve been trying to reach you last day and you didn’t answer, dude.”

“Huh. Weird. Maybe that wasn’t a dream.”

“Yeah, well, man, I need your help with something. Do you want to be a part of the Game Grumps?”

“But I’m already in Steam Train, am I not?”

“I mean, THE Game Grumps, our show. Jon left to work on JonTron and I thought if you’d like to be my partner.”

“Yes, I would love to! that’s gonna be awesome! Tell Jon I send him the best of luck with his show.”

“Yeah, yeah I will... Whelp, welcome aboard, Dan! Get your ass here to record the first episodes, bye.”

“Laters.” He turned the phone off. “Alright, made out with a unicorn AND got to work on Game Grumps? Best day ever! Though Arin sounded kinda worried about something, I dunno” Dan then went to take his tittle as the not-so-grump. He would never forget his experience as a wizard, and he still has this amulet to come back. And he will come back!

Author's Note

So that was the first chapter of this crazy story! If you had a good time... like comment and subscribe. I already have something planned for the next chapter, but if you want to suggest somepony else to get down with danny (who doesn't want that, right?) leave a comment.