The Flim Flam Brothers' Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams

by HintCore

First published May 20th, 2012 07:14

When Ponyville's ponies get their hands on the Flm Flam Brothers' latest creation-a book-all Tartarus breaks loose as colts begin making moves everywhere. Will Twilight be able to stop the madness, or have Flim and Flam finally won?

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My first story. Please don't devour me alive.
...please...

Chapters

The Delivery
The Run-In
The Meeting

The Delivery
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The Flim Flam Brothers' Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams

The Delivery

If you are going to have the slightest hope of impressing that very special somepony of yours, you’ll first have to get to know her. For example, try and casually and accidentally bump into her one day. Then proceed to help her up and introduce yourself. From there, try and randomly meet here around town over a period of time until a friendship has been struck.

It was a beautiful morning in Ponyville. The grass was green, the sky was blue, and ponies were peacefully trotting and flying about. Well, most of them, anyways. “LOOK OUT BELOW!” yelled the cross-eyed, yellow-maned mailmare known as Derpy Hooves, who was quickly plummeting out of the sky towards the Ponyville library. Twilight Sparkle quickly rushed out to see what the commotion was, only to be met with Derpy Hooves and the package she was carrying ramming right into her. “I’m sorry, Twilight Sparkle,” said Derpy, “I just don’t know what went wrong!” “It’s okay, Derpy,” said Twilight, in an oddly cheerful manner for a pony who had just been run over by the mailmare. “We all make mistakes.”
“Aw, thanks Twilight Sparkle,” said Derpy, smiling, and then proceeding to fly away. Twilight smiled back, and then quickly magicked the package inside and shut the door. She untied the strings hastily, and opened her long awaited delivery. Her delivery of, unsurprisingly, books. She looked through the box like a foal would look through their gifts of Hearth’s Warming Morning. She read off the titles to herself as she went through the box: Advanced Magical Techniques: Level 3 by Starswirl the Bearded, Daring Do and the Draconequus’ Fury, The Flim Flam Brothers’ Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams, Pa-

“Wait a moment,” thought Twilight, moving back to the previous book and actually examining it some. She then realized that this wasn’t a book that she’d ordered, and she most certainly wasn’t going to keep it, why, she didn’t even want it. So she magicked the door open, threw the book outside, and continued going through her box of books. However, the book didn’t stay there for long. About 15 minutes later, Thunderlane the Pegasus spotted the book lying there, and, although he wasn’t much of a reader, decided to pick it up and put it in his saddlebag. And that’s when the chaos began.

The Run-In
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The Flim Flam Brothers' Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams

The Run-In

Next, try and see if you can bump into her at a social gathering, such as a party or a dance. Please note, you are not to invite the mare if your dreams to a social gathering just yet. Also, do not make it seem like you are following her around. Contrary to popular belief, mares do not like being stalked by colts. As a matter of fact, nopony likes being followed around everywhere. In other words, try and make the run in seem coincidental.

Twilight Sparkle was out shopping in ponyville. After writing various notes on the books that had arrive earlier that week, making multiple lists, and trying her hand at writing something of her own, she'd run out of ink. So, she was off to the Quill and Sofa shop, which also happens to sell ink. And then somepony ran directly into her. It was a yellow unicorn who went by the name of Comet Tail.

"Oh, sorry, Twilight," he said, directly after he bumped into her. "I was just excited because I'm off to a book club." "Really?" replied Twilight, "What book are you reading there? Is it Journey to the Center of Equestria? Or, is it something more modern, like A Brief History of Time by the Princess herself?"
Comet was obviously not prepared for such an inquiry, as he took a quite noticeable pause, and started moving from foot to foot nervously. "Um, we're readi-," he began, only to cut himself off and then start pacing. After a minute or so, Comet then turned around and ran away, yelling things such as, "I'm not a good liar," and, "The book Thunderlane lent me didn't say anything about other books!" The last thing Comet said made Twilight a little curious, so she proceeded to go find Rainbow Dash. They were going to pay Thunderlane a visit.

The Meeting
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The Flim Flam Brothers' Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams

The Meeting

Next, it is suggested that you leave her anonymous notes and gifts. Although it seems that this will not accomplish anything at the moment, later on, as you relationship progresses, you can reveal that you were the one giving her those lovely gifts. It also helps if you give her the aforementioned gifts when she is angry or sad, as they will brighten up her day. However, you should make sure that your special somepony is not in a prison or other building with tight security. It will not impress her if you get arrested for breaking and entering.

Twilight was on her way to Rainbiw Dash's house. Along the way, four other colts had "accidentally" bumped into her, and said things that were reminiscent of what Comet had said, that they were on their way to dinner and if she'd want to join them or that they were going to the bookstore and if she wanted a specific book and so on. She'd dismissed them all in ways similar to how she got rid of Comet.
On her way to Dash's, she passed by the library, and saw something horribly amiss. There was a huge banner hanging over the door, which read "Gentleponys' Literary Club Reunion Held Here." the sign banner baffled Twilight, she'd never been approached about a book club holding a meeting in the library that day. So, Twilgiht went right inside, and, lo and behold, she found Thunderlane and many other colts holding-or levitating, in some ponies' cases-books.
Thunderlane had been reading from the book before Twilight burst in, but immediately stopped and stood up to greet her. "Hello, Twilight," he said, smiling guiltily and hurriedly kicking the book behind him. "We're holding a book club meeting here. I assumed you'd be okay with it, with your love of bo-," he began, before Twilight interrupted. "Look, Thundelane. I've had five ponies run into me and then try and invite me somewhere, and when they left, they also said that the advice from the book that YOU," here, she pointed an accusatory hoof at Thunderlane, " had given them. So what is this oh-so-famous book that a ton of you colts are reading now?"
"Well, Twilight," began Thunderlane, "you should know. I mean, for all intents and purposes, you gave me this book." And before Twilight could even ask what he meant, Thundelane turned around and showed Twilight the copy of The Flim Flam Brothers' Guide to Wooing the Mare of Your Dreams.