Dirty Talk

by Damocles23

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 1571

A dialogue only clopfic between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie is not asleep. She's horny. Luckily, she's got a sexy pegasus fillyfriend by her side and quite willing to experiment. More or less.

This is a clopfic that only contains dialogue, written as an experiment. The objective was to find out what could be conveyed only trough dialogue and characters and what should be conveyed trough them.

Warning: contains futa, because why not?

Cover art by peachykat.

Published 2015-04-29 15:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-29 15:40:02 UTC

The Only Chapter

“Psssht, Dashie! Are you asleep?”

“Well, not anymore I’m not…I was having such an awesome dream...”

“Well, me too. Then I dreamed an alarm clock was yelling ‘Wake up!’ and can’t you say no to an alarm clock! He always wakes you up and never asks anything in return.”

“Yes, you can. Hit snooze.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that! I guess it got me before I could think of that. But it would have been so rude!”

“And now it is too late. Woe is us.”

“Gesundheit. What was you were dreaming? About the Wonderbolts?”

“Nah. Am I that predictable?”

“But cute.”

“Me and Scoots were attending a pie eating contest…Guess your place is good to dream about pie.”

“Apple pies or Cherry Pies?”

“Dunno. They were good at least. And plenty of them.”

“Were you two winning?”

“Well no, I wasn’t, but Scoots surely was!”

“Oh, she’s so cool! I bet her belly was all swollen up as she stuffed all those pies in her mouth like nothing, even if she’s so small and cute. I bet you were left behind, panting and covered in cream like she kept going and going, even while eating several times her weight!”

“That was...Pretty spot on. Down to the last detail. How did you guess?”

“Oh, I read the script.”

“What?!”

“What?”

…

“So...Now that you are awake, wanna have some sex?”

“Wha-What?!”

“S-E-X, Dashie. Since we are both awake and together I want to have sex with you. You know, that thing two ponies do when they are in love, horny or very bored and I’m all three at once?”

“Well, uh...I know what sex is! There’s no need to tell me that.”

“Sure, you doooo!”

“Why are you winking like that?”

“Because duh! You know a lot about that!”

“It’s just so sudden…I mean, I barely know where I am. What time is it, even?”

“Oh, you are a prude now? It wasn’t sudden when you got dressed as Captain Equestria and pounced on me like...Like…”

“A mare in heat?”

“Exactly! You really knew what you were doing. You could write books about doing it! You could hold a press conference!”

“Well, uh...I’m not getting out of this one, right?”

“Nope! Not at all!”

“Alright, uh...How about we start slow? Give me some time to warm up my lovemaking muscles.”

“Oh, you want to go the romancing way, right? I love it! Talk romantic to me, Dashie! Be the sweetest little pony that you can be. Then maybe...Maaaaaybe...I’ll reward you with sex.”

“So, uh...You have a nice...You’re pretty?”

…

…

“That’s it? I’ve heard more romantic things from my granny! And she wrote the little cards you find in chocolate! Cheesy, but still better than that! I heard more romantic things from Mrs. Cake!”

“It’s 2 A.M! Nopony is romantic at 2 A.M!”

“Again, you seemed pretty romantic last night when I used that shield for—”

“Oh, now I remember. That was fun!”

“And it was so late in the night!”

“Can I try again? Maybe with something better?”

“Of course! I always expect the best from you!”

“Alright, Pinkie...I didn’t want to tell you yet, but it’s time for you to know the truth. You have a fantastic butt.”

“...”

“Uh…”

“I do?! You really think this?”

“Y-Yes. It’s the butt I’ve always dreamed of. The butt dreams are made of. So puffy and round and perfect and it waves in the most adorable way when you walk. It’s so soft and yet so firm and I love it so much.”

“Oh, that’s so adorable! What else do you like about me?”

“Your flanks. I love to smack those flanks, hold onto them while I’m tapping that butt hard and fast, just the way you like it!”

“Oh, always the butt with you, teheehee! Yours is good, too! Small but adorable. And quite bouncy as well.”

“I know what I like.”

“You deserve a prize for being so cute! Your second favorite kind of kiss!”

…

“Whoah, Pinks...Is that...Chocolate?”

“How did you guess?”

“I know the taste well.”

“I was hungry and couldn’t sleep and I had a bowl ready downstairs. But do you know what would be sweeter?”

“Uhhh...Me?”

“You’re a smarty pants and that’s so hot!”

“Gaaahhh…My belly...Tickles…Oh, wait...Don’t tell me...?”

“And ya haven’t seen anyphoong yeeeh!”

“Oh, yes...Right there. Whoah, already there?! Down there? That was the first kind?!”

“Why shoulf I waait?! It’s juf fo yummy!”

“Oh, yeah...Hitting the right spots...OH, THAT ONE, TOO?! That’s a good spot!”

“Tashtes foo goood! Woik...Frawberry!”

“Oh, yeah! I can feel you down there. It goes round and round and...Whoah! Don’t squeeze my thighs!”

“Forry!”

“Ah, that’s okay, especially if you go on like that...Whoa! Whoaaa! Whoooaa! Damn if it tickles!”

“An’ ya haven’t feen anything yeet!”

“I can’t...Caaaan’t believe I’m saying this but could you stop talking while eating me out?”

“Okay!”

“It tickles waaay too much and...Oh, I’m so close! Naaah! Oh, ffuck...I’m on the brink...Do me dirty like that! I’m so close...Naaaaahhh!”

…

“Was it...Was it good for you, Dashie?! Mmmh...Now that’s one tasty Rainbow.”

“Woah...I feel more eaten out than that cake.”

“It must have been strawberry pie. I just know!”

“Huh? Why?”

“In your dream. It has to taste like you!“

“I...Won’t question the logic of that. Wait: There’s one thing!”

“What? What is it?”

“Does that mean Scootaloo tasted me as well?”

“Ew. Just ewwww...What an awful image...”

“Ah! Gotcha!”

“Now, let’s get down to more serious business! Now let’s see...Maybe it’s not there but it was last time I checked...It’s so dark in here...I hope Gummy didn’t find it and eaten it!”

“What? Are you looking for something?”

“Here. I found it! Drink this!”

“I don’t usually drink stuff I don’t recognize. Why is there’s a male symbol on the bottle?”

“Just try it.”

“I have a real bad feeling about this. Where did you get that?”

“Pretty pleeeease?”

“Uhm…”

“With sugar on top?”

“I…”

“Do you trust me?”

“Oh, of course I do! But seriously, if I turn into a stallion I’ll be preeetty angry. Bottoms up!”

“Hehe…Just how much angry? The fun kind of angry or the party pooping kind of angry?”

“What? What does that ‘Hehe’ even mean? Why are you asking that?”

“It means look down and don't be angry…Well, a reasonable amount of angry at least.”

Pop.

“Uhhh...Pinkie?”

“Yeah?”

“You know that I love you, right?”

“You do? Oh, I love you, too!”

“Yeah...Why do I have a cock, right now?”

“Magic! Beautiful, beautiful magic!”

“That I guessed. I mean, where did you get that...Whoah!”

“Oh, is it sensitive, right? What if I just do this?”

“Don’t...Don’t tease with your hooves. Y-You still haven’t answered the question…”

“Some thing just have to stay secret...Now let me taste your lollipop…”

“Secret? You know it’s bad enough that I still don’t know what—Holy crap! Your mouth is so friggin’ good! So awesome!”

“Mmmmffmgghgghggmmmmh!”

“Hahaha! This time no weird stuff from your mouth! Damn, I feel so close already...”

“Bwooo youu looaf!”

“Now take it all! Ngggh—!”

“Umm...This one tastes like cream! Holy crap, you really had a lot in you!”

“I...I guess. Still wondering the how and why...”

“What if I turn around, lift my tail and I beg you to do me dirty until the sun rises?”

“Well, the hows and whys are overrated, then.”

“I know you would saaaWhoooaaaa! You so hard! Why you still so hard?”

“Because you wanted a long and hard cock and you got it!”

“Ouch! You are big. Like, so big I feel you down in my tummy!”

“Does it...Unf...Does it hurt?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Your mane smells so good...”

“Don’t chew it!”

“I’m not trying to hurt you…I just want to—”

“No, I mean, I think there’s a gum in there! What if you swallow it—”

“Graaargh! Ptooou!”

“Told you.”

“Why would you keep a gum on the back of your neck?”

“It was still good until a very sexy and well endowed pegasus ruined it.”

“You are so tight and wet, like a...Like a…Oh, Celestia, that sound!”

“Like a water balloon?”

“This makes no sense! You make no sense!”

“That’s why you are mounting me like a Zebra in heat?”

“You...Wha’? How do you know a Zebra?”

“Does it matter when you are tapping this ass? Boy, it looks like a drum concert back there!”

“Nope! It’s so squishy and soft and I’m flaring so hard…I mean, look at that! It slurps in and out, so good...”

“You want to come? Then come all the way, Dashie! Fill up my pussy with your hot, hot cum! Shoot your wad inside me, empty all of it!”

“Oh, such a dirty, dirty place! You’re a dirty little filly!”

“Mmmh, fuck me harder, Dashie!”

“Oh, I’m so close.”

“You better not hold back, Dashie! My pie is all wet and it needs filling! Cream filling from your Rainbow road!”

“Here it comes! Whoooargghh!”

“Oh, it’s so thick and it’s a lot! My favouritaaarghh!”

…

…

“That was...That was...Badass! I’m so...I’m spent!”

“To-tal-ly…I’m so full of yummy jelly! Look! It kinda looks like you knocked me up! Just look at my belly!”

“Boy, we talk a lot during sex! Have you noticed?”

“I didn’t see you complaining…”

“Actually, I did. I complained a lot about it!”

“Wanna try it in my butt now, you stud?”

“And I stopped complaining instantly.”