The ray’s of Celestia’s golden sun overcast the fringes of the Everfree with gold in the early morning. The eerie half-dawn cleared rapidly as the sky gained more color, changing from the dark and foreboding trees into monoliths of bright green rainbows that caught the light and came to glisten with dew. Few birds had awoken, but those who had filled the sky with their sleepy song.
The light from the sunrise had always been Fluttershy’s alarm clock. The sunlight from her east-facing window slowly threw itself over her bedroom rugs, lazily making its way up her bedposts until it fell upon the yellow pegasus’ sleeping form. The sunlight was Fluttershy’s coffee, rousing her with a gentle smile and silent yawn. She fluffed her wings to shake the stiffness and gazed out the window to look over her well-groomed garden, shocked and awed with the serene beauty that gripped it in the early morning.
With another soft yawn, Fluttershy cast off her cocooning blankets and folded them neatly at the end of her bed, simply waiting for her to come back to it. Smiling softly, she turned towards where Angel Bunny’s slept in his own bed.
“Good morning Ang-” Her eyes fell upon an empty bed. “Oh no! Angel? Angel!” Panick gripped her heart as she searched, but just as soon as she prepared to search the world for her missing companion, a stray thought clicked into place.
That’s right, she thought to herself, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom took him for a weekend sleepover party . . . The self-made reminder eased her own racing heart as she yawned once more before walking out of her cozy bedroom. She made her way slowly to the kitchen to make herself a bowl of wheat cereal.
Let’s see . . . Fluttershy thought as the cereal poured into the bowl. What was I supposed to do today . . . The pegasus knew she was supposed to get something done though she could not, for the life of her, remember what it was. Maybe it was a . . . at . . . attic! Her slow mind worked out the sleep-fueled amnesia. I’m supposed to clean out the attic for the fundraiser on Monday. The fundraiser had coincided quite conveniently with the annual butterfly migration, promising that a great horde would pass through Fluttershy's yard the day of the fundraiser.
Fluttershy thought of the attic above her, dark and dusty and dormant. She could not remember the last time she cleaned out her attic, making her think that she had actually never been cleaned. This both dismayed her and excited her, as she herself had forgotten some of the treasures she stashed up there. Most of the time she simply deposited what it was she wished to store and promptly sealed it once more. There were innumerable items and most of it was probably unusable and broken items she had wished to store since she found this cottage 15 years ago, empty of all but a family of mice living in the walls. (Fluttershy guessed that the ever-expanding Everfree had pushed its last tenants away.)
Cleaning out the attic was a daunting task. It was big, not very well-lit, and there so much dust it would be as if Fluttershy had a cold and spring allergies in the same day. Piles upon piles of old boxes and crates were crowded against the walls, all needing to be looked through and examined for anything of value. It was a task that was sure to take all day. Maybe even longer.
When Fluttershy finished her sweet bowl of cereal, she deftly washed her dishes and placed them back in the cabinets. She was eager to tackle the attic head-on, for the more she had to sell the more money would be made for her to help animals. Without bits, Fluttershy could give nothing but love to the animals that came seeking her help.
Fluttershy made her way down the hallway quickly, looking up at the cut-out square in her wooden ceiling. A smile graced her face as she fluttered her wings and flew towards it, hovering as she gripped the cord and pulled downwards. The excitement gripped the pegasus as the stairs tumbled down until they rested in her hallway. A shower of dust assaulted her, giving her the appearance of wearing a blanket over her back. Fluttershy stumbled back quickly, not expecting the torrent. She fell backwards and landed on her bottom with a soft thump as a feeling came over her.
“Aah . . .” She began, bringing a hoof in front of her face. “AaaaAAh!” She increased in volume. “AAAAAAAH!” It was a shout. “choo.” The anti-climactic end caused the pegasus to rub her muzzle, sniffle, and whisper a soft “oh my”. She knew that the worst was yet to come.
Looking up into the darkness, Fluttershy rubbed her nose once more before ascending the stairs. A foreboding sense invaded her, making her feel as if she needed to run away and close the hatch, as if a monster were waiting to gobble her up in the attic. She consoled herself as she took another step. That’s silly, she thought with a self-deprecating tone, Monsters don’t exist! And even if they did, what would one be doing in my attic?
Fluttershy pulled herself into the room and looked around, absorbing the challenge that lay before her. Light streaming in through the windows revealed dust simply suspended in the air. It also revealed the maze of boxes, chests, crates, buckets, and old pieces of furniture that made up the minefield game of find-what’s-worth-selling. The transversable sea surrounded her, demanding to be sorted.
What have I gotten myself into? Fluttershy whimpered inwardly. The feeling of anxious work that comes from a long day to look forward to began to pervade. Fluttershy could barely move in any direction without bumping into a box.
But so the pegasus began her task, her burden being to sift through the hidden treasures of the castaway stashes, long hidden from mind and view. Many of the items were of no importance and were placed in a pile waiting to be carried away by the trash wagon ponies. Yet as she sorted, she came upon much more in-demand objects. The pieces of furniture, for one, were only in the attic because lack of space in her home demanded them to be moved. Fluttershy unearthed two antique dressers, a vanity with a dusty mirror, an entire dining-room set of table and eight chairs, and at least three bookshelves filled to the brim with tomes, reference books, paperbacks, and leather-back novels. Fluttershy examined the books and found, with delight, that she could probably ask Twilight if she’d just buy all of them for the Golden Oak Library. The proceeds would be enough to provide care for her animals for a month.
Even more objects began to unearth themselves as the minutes drifted into hours. Old Christmas and birthday gifts (she’d have to be careful about who saw what to avoid any hurt feelings) and, as she began to move near the walls of the attic, chests filled with dresses from her fillyhood and teenage years that would be sure to catch the eyes of a filly somewhere. She’d have to ask Rarity for a clothes rack to hang them on though.
Well into the evening, Fluttershy had finally made her way so that she could touch the corners of the room. Piles upon piles of sorted items had been formed all around her, the organized chaos evidence of a job well done. The sun was going down, the trees seen in the windows slowly becoming darker as Celestia’s sun prepared to set. Fluttershy was squinting as she sorted through a box containing many facets of her childhood. Hairbows, an old dress, and quite a few nostalgic fillyhood follies and trinkets made themselves to be sorted into piles.
“Sunny Skies!” Fluttershy smiled in joy at the old doll held in her hooves. The once-golden fabric had a grey sheen of dust to it, the kind that could not be avoided as new items aged to old ones. Fluttershy hugged her dollie close to her chest, thinking of the perfect place to place it within her home. She had no intentions of selling something so close to her.
Fluttershy dove back into the box, excited about what she would pull from it next. Her hoof gripped a hard-bound book as thick as a dictionary. Curious, she pried it up.
"My Diary.” She whispered curiously as she brushed the dust off of the cover. The meek pegasus’s mind rushed to remember it, and was surprised at how little she could. She remembered Sunny Skies and the dollhouse she’d made out of cardboard for her with much clarity, but the diary . . . Fluttershy gazed curiously at it, examining childhood memories. The diary had always been there, it seemed. It overshadowed memories, always sitting on a shelf or pushed under her bed. She remembered carrying it with her sometimes, but never writing in it. Fluttershy was unsure why the diary had been kept. When she’d moved to Ponyville, if something wasn’t really special to her, she’d left it in Cloudesdale. She couldn’t remember the diary being of any significance. However, Fluttershy did feel . . . somehow betrayed by the book’s presence, like she’d meant to be rid of it long ago.
Whether curiosity or an unvoiced order told her to open the diary, Fluttershy didn’t know. The diary simply . . . called her. Demanded for its writer to read, and to know. Fluttershy placed the book onto her back and took a look around the attic.
“I’ve done a lot of work today. I think I’m finished for now.” She announced to nopony in particular as she turned and exited the room, not bothering to push the hatch back closed if she was going to reattempt to finish tomorrow. She deserved a break.
Making her way into the kitchen once more, Fluttershy made herself a delicious supper of carrot stew. All while she ate, the diary’s audacious title stared her down. “My Diary.” She whispered, testing the words to see if they would trigger something, a memory of sorts. Nothing came.
With a soft sigh, Fluttershy left the dishes where they lay and gripped the diary in one hoof as she flew to her bedroom. She landed with a ‘Poomf’ and the blankets unwraveled and covered her up to her neck. The diary landed on her pillow, perfectly square with the pegasus. Luna’s moon was now high in the night sky, accompanied by a tapestry of expertly arranged stars. There was not enough light to read by, so Fluttershy reached over impatiently and clicked her lamp on, bathing the room in a soft and warm yellow glow.
The anticipation was suffocating as the yellow pegasus took a long, deep breath to calm her racing heart. She reached out a hoof and pushed the cover open to the first page. When the words came into focus, she began to read.
Author's Note
Redone almost completely, hopefully a little longer and easier to put together. Tell me what you think and where I can improve! I really appreciate any comments, as it motivates me to write the next chapter.
Any proofreaders willing to help out, please message or comment and I will respond.
Thank you for reading.
Fluttershy smiled as she began to read her old handwriting.
Dear Diary,
Today was my birthday! Im so excited because my Grandma Sunrise Surprise gave me this diary! Its got little pink lace on the cover and . . . well you know because you ARE the diary. Heehee Silly me.
Fluttershy scrunched up her nose as she looked down. She remembered this birthday. It was her seventh if she remembered right.
I’m kind of sad because my Daddy Spring Seer didnt come home from work today even though it was my birthday but he hasnt been home all week anyway so I guess its ok. He must of forgotten. I forgive him though because he is always so busy. Mama always asks me ‘have you seen your dad lately’ and I always tell her ‘no, mama’ because thats what my daddy tells me to say when she asks. It makes me crawl in my skin but I dont know which one to listen to.
Today was a good day though because I got this diary even though I didnt get anything else. Grandma Sunrise always tells me that its not the gift but the thought that counts. I dont know what to think about that though because if theres no gift how can there be thought? Anyways the reason it was a good day was because I saw a butterfly! When Grandma Sunrise took me back home all I did was run around the house because it was all I could do to keep myself in check. Butterflies rarely come up to where I live and Ive only seen pictures of them because Ive never been to the ground before. Mama once promised she would take me but then she went to sleep for a long time and when she woke up she couldnt remember what she said.
Fluttershy didn’t remember most of the things she had read, but now that she was reading them, she was aware at just how much she’d been neglected as a filly. Her mother was always sipping cider and passing out when she drank too much and her sister had learned to fly long before and came home only to sleep before leaving to live with her various coltfriends. To an innocent soul, the behavior was odd but soon became the norm. All of these oddities were slowly flowing back to her, but had yet to snap into place.
Golden Glory my sister had her coltfriend over and since mama wasnt awake to stop her she locked me out of the house. When I went to go in I heard them laughing for a long time before I got bored and walked around my yard until I saw something weird in the window box. It was the butterfly and it was so beautiful I almost cried when I think I disturbed it and it flew away. But since my wings arent grown I couldnt chase it.
Fluttershy DID remember this. Somehow, among the forgotten memories, a fog cleared as her imagination combined with her memory to remake the scene. She felt euphoric as she remembered seeing the butterfly on her birthday spent outside.
~~*~~
Fluttershy set the diary down on the hard-packed clouds, a soft ‘huuh’ emanating from the filly as her face turned towards the window box. The day-on, day-off cared for daffodils spread their wide yellow petals towards her, orange insides seeming like gallons upon gallons of sweet nectar for the butterfly sitting on them to drink. Fluttershy walked towards it, gazing in wonder at its yellow wings spiderwebbed with yellow and orange. Its wings gracefully, slowly opened and closed as it stuck its long, sticky tongue into the depths of the flowers. Fluttershy didn’t know what came over her as she lifted up a hoof and waved hello.
“Hello mister butterfly! Or is it misses? Oh well, I’m Fluttershy.” She babbled softly, reaching out a tender but hesitating hoof to touch the butterfly. “What are you doing this high up? You’re pink and yellow, like me! Did you come here on purpose?” The pegasus continued on, hoof inching slowly towards the insect. “If I would’ve known you would come here then I would’ve cleaned up the window boxes some more!” Her hoof almost made contact with the butterfly before it seemed to have caught onto her and took flight.
“Wow!” She said as she took a few steps back, tripping over her new diary as she said so. Fluttershy didn’t care, as the butterfly’s soundless, graceful, elegant, fluent wings captivated her in a way nothing else in this world had.
As the butterfly flapped its wings, it darted around to nowhere in particular, but seemed to be edging itself towards the boundaries of Fluttershy’s heart. Crestfallen yet hopeful, Fluttershy began to beg the butterfly. “No No No! Please don’t leave! I- I have some fruit inside! Do you like fruit? Please come back!” But the butterfly had flown away. Fluttershy remembered feverishly flapping her wings as she paced along the edge of her yard, but not lifting more than an inch off the ground before gravity pulled her down. Soon the butterfly was now so far away its colors could no longer be seen by the yellow filly’s eyes.
Downcast, sorrowful, and inconsolable, Fluttershy did not cry a tear. Instead, she got up, picked up her diary, and walked towards the front door. Instead of knocking, she began to kick the door over and over again, the hollow bangs giving way to yelling and shouting of a certain tenant inside.
Mama said bad words as she fumbled with the locks and said even worse words when she flung open the door. Grumbling to herself, she stomped away towards the kitchen and Fluttershy heard the distinct sound of a cork pop.
Closing the door softly, Fluttershy sighed and walked towards her room, the butterfly sighting long forgotten from her mind. She opened her brand new diary and ran off to go steal a pen from Daddy’s unused home office, but once she had all supplies she began to write of the day’s events.
I have school tomorrow, She wrote, And I hope that someone comes to take me. A lot of times I dont go to school because no one comes to take me. I also hope that Mister Butterfly will come back to visit me again.
Goodnight Diary.
~~*~~
Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy pushed the emotions she felt after reminiscing under a mental rug. Like dogs abandoned, they howled and clawed at her to give them attention. She consoled them by promising to come back.
Another deep breath later, Fluttershy dared her hooves to turn the page and her eyes to read the words. Once she looked upon the page and bit her lip in anxious hesitation, she took yet another deep breath and began to read.
Author's Note
Once more, I apologize for the pacing and the dry writing. I will fix it soon, promise, but if you have any suggestions or find any grammatical errors (besides Fluttershy's writing. She gets to make mistakes. She's seven.), leave a comment and I will answer.
