Pinkies Torment

The floor is hard and cold.  The ceiling is boring, except for the streamers and balloons.  They're moving slowly in the breeze coming in from the window.  Red.  Yellow.  Green.  Blue.  Purple.  What's the reason there are so many colors in the world but only a few colors of balloons and streamers?

Why are ponies all different colors.  Mom and dad. My sisters and cousins.  All grey.  Me and Granny are the only pink ones.  Why are we so different?  Granny and I were the happy ones in the family.  Almost like it was our lot in life to make others happy while the selfishness of our cutie marks doomed us to never have true happiness ourselves.

"I am sooo happy you're happy" I say all the time to everypony.  Am I really happy making others happy?  Why don't others throw parties for me?  Why don't they give me gifts?  I just want to know if I could have a different lot in life.  I got my cutie mark making my family happy, not making myself happy.

I'm gonna get up this time.  I mean it.  I have a full day of party planning to do and thankfully no parties to hold.

I rolled to my stomach and sighed as I looked at the floor I was laying on.  It was a nice floor.  Simple and with a single purpose.  Just like a pony.  Every pony.  Standing up I stretched and felt my back crack.  I don't like that feeling.  It always makes me think I've hurt myself and won't be able to work anymore.  So much to do and everything has to be done.  I'd better look into the mirror again.

"Ah, there she is.  The pink mare everypony loves but nopony truly knows.  The truth behind the lie.  Blue eyes.  Long flowing mane."

With a sigh I shook my head and put on my best smile.  I thought of the rainbow that gave me my first smile.  The light and warmth of the sun that had come out as the rainbow passed over.  The moment it happened.  Time for my sister to take over.

Pinkie? are you ready to start another day?

Oh, yeah!  Pinkamena, you're not so bad ya know.  I'm here for you if you want to talk.  I have great ears and I listen to everything!

No, I'm okay.  Do we have to do this.  Can't we just tell our secret to the ponies and be free?  Be open as we are?  Stop hiding?

Pinkamena, you know we can't do that.  They'd hurt us, you know how they feel about our kind.  Let's switch and just go about our day.  I'll be in charge and then you can take a reeealy relaxing nap!  You can rest and everything will be okay.

Just like always, Pinkie.  You have all the fun and I'm here.  Trapped.

I tap my head as I look into the mirror and end our internal diatribe.  With a deep breath I release my mind to her and she pushes me back into the recesses of my own mind to take control of my body and world.  It hurts when she does it.  She's so excited to be in charge these days.

"There she IS.  That's the Pinkie Pie everyone knows!  Look at those curlys in your mane!  Oh yeah.  Ready for the day?  You know it!"

I'm Pinkie Pie.  It's a pleasure to meet you.  I'm the mare everypony knows and loves.  I feel their love and it fills me in a way they'll never understand.  I jump and test my body like I do a dozen times everyday.  How high can I jump?    How long can I hold my breath?  Everything is in order.  Once I'm outside how fast can I run?  Time to PARTAY!  I open the door and close it softly and skip down the stairs.

"Hi Mrs. Cake!  Can I make some cupcakes and sample them out this morning?  I have it on good authority there'll be a BIG gathering in front of city hall this afternoon."

"Oh, Pinkie.  I love your enthusiasm but, not today.  Carrot is going to go there himself and we're near the end of the month.  Can't afford samples right now," she tells me.  I say it's okay and run out the door.  Looking around there are too many ponies for me to test my speed and I know it's there.  In this body I can move as fast as some can blink if not faster.  None of them can know I can teleport, but it makes life so much easier and it makes them happier.

Pinkie, is everything okay?  You feel a little sad about the cupcakes.

No, I'm super-dee-dooper.  I just wanted an excuse to see the ponies at city hall.  I'll visit the travelers before I do anything else.

With a skip in my step I head for the inn.  It's almost check out time and there are usually a few ponies here laid over since the train doesn't run after 10 and this is a stop on their trip.  I see a couple of mares and a stallion with a colt in tow leaving the inn.  Time to go to work!  I jump into a bush and teleport into one of their luggage and wiggle so they notice it.  I feel them lower the bag and hear them unzipping it. Here I go.  Limber those lips Pinkie.

"HELLO AND WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!" I shout at the stallion.  He stumbles back and gasps.  Another successful greeting.  "I'm Pinkie Pie and I'm here to welcome you to Ponyville and if you're leaving right away stop by the Cakes bakery to get some sweets to take with you, or you can go to the deli and grab a sandwich to fill your belly for your trip!  I'll see you later."  I pull the luggage closed and teleport back into the bush and jump out.  No pony saw me and if they did, I'm Pinkie.  I do 'odd things' all the time.

I missed breakfast this morning so I think an apple or two are needed.  Knowing my friend Applejack she'll be walking into town about now.  I hop back into the bush and teleport into her cart.  I was close.  She's leaving the farm.  Mmm.  Fresh apples.  She won't notice two missing so I grab them and Teleport to my safe place on the roof of a house that no pony can see up to and few Pegasus look at.  The chimney is a great place to appear next to.  Shade in the summer, warm in the winter.

I eat the apples and they are so juicy.  I lick my muzzle and take a deep breath.  I guess I should spy on my friends to see what they're up to.  Twilight first.  She'll be nose deep in a book and her dragon will be doing some menial task.  I'll go to her room under her bed.  I appear under her bed and look around.  Pages flipping.  Typical.  I crawl to the edge of the floor to peek on her.  She has a book in front of her using her fancy magic to levitate it.  Why can't unicorn just touch a book like every other creature?

I teleport behind her and pull a balloon from the pocket of space behind me and hold it behind her.  "Twilight!  What're ya doing?"  I shout and laugh inside as she jumps, dropping the book.

"Pinkie, how'd you get in here?!"  If I had a bit for every time I was asked that I could... hmm.  What would I do with them all?  Buy a new party cannon?  Maybe streamers?  I can only fit so much into a dimentional pocket and my mane and tail hair are so big, where'd I keep-  "Pinkie? Hello?  I asked what do you want?  I'm in the middle of reading this book the princess sent me on artifacts of-"

Why does she talk so much about things no pony knows or cares about?

I don't know Pinkamena, I just smile until she's done then make an excuse to leave.  I think she likes to have an ear sometimes.

I think she's a boring twit that doesn't care about others' thoughts, opinions or boredom

Shh, she's almost done.

I smile and agree blindly.  I hope she didn't ask something I have to make an excuse for.  She looks at me like I should answer her.  I'm just going to say something happy and fun then go somewhere else.  I love her energy but she's so boring.  "Okay, I've gotta party on the other side of town to get to, I'll see you later for a picnic on the hill, okay?"  She nods and smiles.  Dodged another spear on that one.  I skip out the door and close it behind me.  Where am I going to go?

It's such a boring day.  I guess I'll invite the others to a picnic and buy some cupcakes for it.

Picnic time.  I bought the cupcakes.  Eight of them.  I love cupcakes and don't gain weight so I think a little extra energy is in order.  There they are!  Oh how I love to see them.  The only ones I can be myself around.  Well, mostly.

"Heya guys!  It's super dooper to see you all made it!  It's so boring today!  I've been trying to find something to do but every ponies busy!  How've you all been?"  I ask hoping any of them will jump at the chance to talk to me.  Instead they're already talking, they smile at me but I have to wait to talk.  I think it's okay to watch the sky for a while.  I lay down and look at a cloud.  Same as always.  I imagine the clouds moving themselves and changing shapes into other things.  So relaxing.  I drift off to sleep.

Time for this lie to end.  I feel Pinkies control slip as she sleeps and I take control slowly, cautiously.  She's more dangerous then she seems.  I open my eyes and see the sky.  It's nice to be outside in my body again.  It's been so long, I think I've forgotten what the grass feels like.  I slowly sit up and crawl to my friends.  When they see me they look puzzled.

"Pinkie?  What happened to your mane and tail?  They're all, flat." Rainbow says.  I shush them and motion for them to come closer.

"My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie and Pinkie is holding me hostage."

They chuckle and look at me like I'm joking.  The feeling in my heart aches as they do that but Fluttershy believes me.  She looks at me with concern so she's the one I focus on.

"When I was a filly, I saw Rainbow Dashes sonic rainboom and it filled me with joy.  At the same time a creature was about to attack me and eat me.  It fused with me and our bodies merged.  She felt the joy inside me and fed off it like a changeling."

When I say changeling they all begin to listen.  I knew that would be the word to get their attention.

"Are you a changeling, Pinkie?" Fluttershy whispers to me.

"No," I whisper back, fear is gripping me.  How long until she wakes up and wrestles me for control?  "I'm not and she isn't either.  She's something that consumes other creatures and absorbs their abilities.  Her power of jumping was destroyed when the rainboom pushed her into me."

"What was your ability that she wanted?"  Twilight asks.  Always the scientist she focuses on facts.  That's what I need.

"I can run at almost sonic speeds without getting tired.  That's a huge ability for any creature to have.  I did it once when I was grounded for trying to hurt my mother while I was a filly.  I ran to Saddle Arabia before I got thirsty.  I spent two days there before I ran home.  Four hours both ways.  The creature was just done snacking on a changeling when it saw me run away."  They're listening to me now.  I feel so much better trusting them with this.  "If you're going to kill me, make it fast.  Please, I'm so tired.  I can't keep living a life trapped in the back of my own mind."

"Wait, so the Pinkie we know is actually-" I shush Rarity.  I can't have Pinkie wake up yet.  "So, your body is a host to a monster?"

I nod and they gasp.  I feel her stirring.  "I have to go, she's waking up.  Please, don't tell her what I told you.  Your lives are in danger if you do.  I pray you'll help me or kill me."  They look very worried as I crawl back to where she went to sleep and I close my eyes and slide back behind her in my mind.  I take one last breath of the nature around me.  A moment later she is in control again.

"Oh, boy that was a great nap!  I can't believe I was a snoozy Suzie.  I didn't snore did I?  Why're you looking at me like that?  Do I have drool on me?"  I giggle as I wipe my mouth just in case.  They're still staring at me.  I wonder what's wrong.

"Pinkie?" Applejack asks me.

"Yeah?  What's up AJ?  Did I do something?"  Applejack looks worried and over to Rainbow Dash.

"No, you were talking weird in your sleep and it was weird.  Something about eating rocks for breakfast and crunching them."

What?  I don't think I'd say that.  Maybe I did.  Sleep is a weird thing in and of itself.  "Oh, I used to eat rock candy after breakfast when I was a filly," I lie.  They look like they bought it.  Those smiles, such foolish creatures.  I must have concerned them, I sense the worry in them.  But, over rocks?  I wonder why that would be an issue.

Getting up I grab my box of cupcakes and share them with my friends.  Cupcakes always make them happy.  I eat two myself and burp.  Oh yeah, I know what a delight it is to enjoy a cupcake.  We talk for a while and they giggle at my jokes.  I like having friends like them.  My old life was never about friends, only survival.  Its thanks to Pinkamena that I have them.  I owe my life to her.  Collecting my box I bid them farewell and skip back to town where I see the Cutie Mark Crusaders walking through town.

Again they think their cutie marks will not only show up because they try something but that they'll all be identical.  Even for fillies they're stupid.  "Hi girls!  Any luck with your cutie marks?"  They look sad when I ask them that.  Good.  Stop trying to rush nature.  "It's okay, keep trying and I'll throw you the best Cutesinera you've ever known.  It'll blow the others I've done out of the water!"

Their joy is delectable.  If I was a changeling I'd fill up on their joy.  But, I'm mortal now and need real food.  I bid them farewell and skip back to the bakery.  I guess I can rest until something happens.  This is one of those days where I can sleep until tomorrow and nothing will happen.  Passing the Cakes I nod and go to my room.  I lay on the bed and count the various party stuff in my room.  Our room.  I feel myself drifting off to sleep when Pinkamena asks to be in control.

Can I have my body back to take a shower?  I haven't felt water on my body in so long and I think it's deserved.

I don't see the harm in that.

I relinquish control and feel relaxed as I have a break from a whole body.  She can't use my abilities except her running so I'm not worried.  I watch as she walks to the mirror to look at herself.  She always does the same thing.  Smiles then laments her existence.  Okay, now she's going to the shower.  I think I'm a kind enough creature.  She's so lucky to have me.  Awe, she chuckles as the water hits her body.  Looking up she lets the water fill her mouth then gargles the water and spits it out.

I spit the water out to clean my mouth from the lies she's told from it.  So many lies.  So much pain.  I look around the room for anything sharp but there isn't anything.  I sigh in defeat and return to grab a scrubber and begin to clean my coat.  This feels nice.  I miss the feeling of cleaning myself.  Maybe I can drink the soap.  No, vomit once and have a stomach ache.  Then I won't be allowed to have control for weeks, maybe longer.

Wait.  The mirror.  I see it.

Can I look at myself in the mirror, Pinkie?  I want to know what I look like while I'm washing.

That seems fair.  I enjoy seeing myself often in many ways too. It should be a great sight for you.

I walk from the shower to the mirror and hop up to the counter and wipe the steam from the mirror and see myself.  Her smile isn't here.  I like seeing the real me.  I rub my cheeks and then punch the mirror shattering it.

What are you DOING? she shouts at me.

I can't look at myself right now.  I'm sorry.

I shut my eyes and grab for any piece of mirror I can.

Then don't break the damn mirror, just close your eyes.  Now open them and wash yourself then get back to the room.  I'm going to be in control for a couple days to teach you a lesson.

Feeling a large piece of glass I slit my wrists and begin to stab myself in the stomach and chest.  The chance at freedom stops me from crying out in pain.  I open my eyes and show her what I'm doing as I laugh out loud.  "I win.  I have my freedom now."  She grabs my mind and tugs at it trying to get control.  I hold on with all I have and cut myself on the foreleg all the way down the side and scream as the pain and her mental pull takes over.  She collapses to her knees as she begins to gasp for air and from the pain.

Blood is pouring from my wounds and it sounds like a stabbed a lung.  I see her cough blood and I laugh at from inside my prison.  I don't have anything to say.  I just wait for the darkness to take hold of me finally.  As she falls to the floor screaming her last I see her eyes close.  Freedom.  Finally I'm free.

To be continued