Kronk's New Groove (Sexual Adventure)

by friedlambo

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 965

Kronk wanders off without Yzma!

Tired of living with Yzma, Kronk wanders off into the wild. However, something rather… unexpected happens at the bottom of a particular hole…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-30 07:54:06 UTC

Chapter 1

Kronk started skipping threw the forest, naked, looking for small squirrels. Yzma had given him the day off after he tried jerking off in her food. He thought it would have been a nice edition to fuck her soup, but she had other plans.

Suddenly, Kronk fucking stops in the middle of his tracks and looks down at the forest floor. Underneath the leaves, a pair of eyes suddenly pop out of nowhere. Kronk is taken back as a dark figure leaps out from the ground.

“It’s YOU!” Kronk yelled.

“I’m friedlambo and I’m going to fuck you.”

Kronk immediately tackles the nude lambo and tries to suck him off. Lambo thrusts his thumbs into Kronk’s eyeholes making him yell out in pain. The two grappled each other and wrestled for what seemed to be about 15 minutes. Kronk finally threw lambo at a tree, fucking breaking his back in 912 different places.

“Who assassinated JFK?!” Kronk interrogated lambo.

“I-uhhhUUHhhUHHUhuhUHHUh”

Kronk took a few steps forward with the intentions of finishing the job, only to hear a noise behind him. He fucking turns around while jumping to come face to face with Yzma. Kronk looks down to see hundreds of rarity’s coupons for free blowjobs scattered around his feet.

“Yzma?” he sheeply asked.

“Pull the lever Kronk.” Was all that she said as she pulled a lever that was attached to a nearby tree.

Kronk immediately fell into a hole at the speed of 412 miles per hour falling into the earth. The hole was small at first causing him to scrap his back against the wall causing his spinal cord to show. He passed out from the pure pleasure of it, only to wake up 25 minutes later still falling.

At first Kronk was concerned about his demise, then he got really bored. He decided to start jacking off while falling because hey when will this opportunity ever cum again right. Like a goat being sprung around at 95 rotations a second, he was on the brink of an orgasm. As he felt the pressure becoming uncontrollable, a rush of blue came to him.

Then he came.

After his 15 seconds of bliss, he soon realized that he was falling from the…sky? He was plummeting at the rate of a boner catching the site of Squidward Tentacles hairy, shit encrusted clarinet.

Kronk soon saw the ground rushing at him until he fell face forward on the concrete side walk….with his dick.

Kronk stood up with no apparent injuries and a calm look on his face. That was until he looked around. Freakishly hideous small horses were fucking everywhere, which soon made Kronk very displeased. He ran up to a nearby house to call his good friend Bill O’ Reilly to complain about the incident.

He rammed his fist gently on the door several times as he started to uncomfortably doing squats while he waited. As the door begun to creek, he shot up on drugs then shot up and shit himself.

Miraculously and wettingly, the door opens to reveal a rather small and petite purple pony. Before Kronk could speak, she had already begun to.

“Why hello there, mister human! You must be lost, am I right?”

Kronk just stares at her, and Twilight could feel his eyes sinking deep within her soul.

Spike, hearing the small commotion from upstairs, quickly ran down top the front door to see what was going on.

What he saw, however, was doomed to forever be a disturbing image in his mind. He was so mustard.

“Holy fucking SHIT, fuck YES!!!” Twilight screamed as Kronk thrusted his squirrel-loving cock into her petite purple pony pussy.

“T-Twilight! What... what are you doing!?” Spike asked as he continued to watch the absolutely brutal plowing. He wanted in.

TruMoo

Unrated.

“O-Oh man, this feels soooo much better than Yzma and all of her times new roman.” said Kronk as he came so much into Twilight, that gallons of fresh, white cum fucking erupted from her mouth, smearing the floor and walls with Kronk's new-millennium cum.

Suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, Kronk grabbed Twilight by her hips, picked her up, and threw her out of the window so fucking hard, that the glass wasn't what broke; SHE was what broke. Twilight's body exploded into a gory and bloody fucking mess, leaving the entire library completely drenched and gorged in her sweet, ruby-red blood. Spike had seen enough.

“You-you BASTARD! I-I LOVED HER!!”

From here on out, it was more than just over for Kronk. The sheer amount of pain that followed was beyond anything he had ever known. Spike, raising his right arm into the air, seemed to bring Kronk off of the ground, making him levitate in the air. Suddenly, all under Spike's control, Kronk's blood began to travel through his veins at 20x the normal speed, causing vast amounts of veins to gush and burst within his body. He threw up a total of 55 gallons in the course of just 22 seconds, and he shat out his own heart.

He was going through absolute hell.

Kronk exploded, and Spike ran up to Twilight and came inside her glistening pussy. He wanted to do that since he was so good at making good grades in cheese grater.

Kindergarten.

“Spike, I-I don't know what to say. You saved me!”

Unfortunately, the purple pony had spoken too soon, for just behind her, as if nothing had ever happened, stood Kronk, and he was as healthy as ever.

“Oh boy... okay, um, well, let's see here, uh... OH! I know! How about I-!”

Spike kissed him on his right nipple. This caused it to swell up to an enormous size. It kept growing until it exploded. Cum in my ass.