Twinkies

by Regidar

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy
Length: 2510

Pinkie pries Twilight away from the blissful arms of sleep in order to solve a delectable disaster.

Twilight is awoken one morning by Pinkie Pie, who brings urgent news of a disaster. Knowing Pinkie Pie, Twilight assumes that it's nothing horribly serious, but knows better than to ignore Pinkie when she says something's up.

However, not everything is as it is let on by the boisterous party pony.

For Zaid ValRoa.

Published 2015-05-01 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-01 00:50:02 UTC

What's Love, Is Love

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes shot open. She shot up straight as a board in bed, her blanket billowing off her like an errant sail in the wind. Hopping to her hooves, she half-sprinted, half-glided to the window, and flung it open.

“Pinkie, what is it?” Twilight yelled groggily down at her friend, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “The sun’s barely up! What are you doing?”

“There’s an emergency at Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie screamed, wrapping long, pink curl on either side of her face in her hooves and tugging on them histrionically. Twilight’s tired eyes widened.

“I’ll be right there!” Twilight called back down to Pinkie.

“Hurry!” Pinkie disappeared in a blur of pink in the direction of Sugarcube corner.

Twilight sighed, patting down her mane, messy from sleep, and hoped up to the window. Despite having been in possession of her wings for quite some time, there was that brief moment of hesitation before every jump-and-flight. It took quite a bit of courage that was always required to be mustered before taking such a leap; the ground always seemed so far below. A life of living earth-bound had conditioned Twilight to fear such jump, despite her logical mind reassuring her that she knew how to fly just fine, could easily teleport away if she needed to, and if worse came to worse, she would merely land in some shrubbery below. Still, her stomach always tied in knots, her breathing became shallow, and her brow sweaty as she perched on the ledge, heart in her throat, trying her best to dredge up the guts to make that final leap—

“AAAH!” Twilight shrieked as a gentle breeze caught her wings, sending her off balance and tumbling off her ledge, flailing through the air. Her mind racing a mile a minute with all sorts of horrible thoughts and scenarios, Twilight babbled and bellowed as she twisted through the air, trying to steady herself and wings.

Right before she was about to slam headlong into the bushes that grew alongside her crystal castle, Twilight’s wings flattened out. Grunting, Twilight arced her back downward, lifting her head, and pulled up out of the disastrous dive she had been flung into.

Panting and gasping, and crying a little, Twilight soared across the early Ponyville morning just as Celestia’s sun broke over the horizon, showering the entire town with golden rays.

“I did it...” she muttered to herself, her mane being buffeted all around her by the whistling wind. “I did it! Haha! I DID IT I DID I—”

Twilight slammed with an unceremonious fwump! into Sugarcube corner, shaking the building down to its foundations, and fluttered to the ground like a like a leaf, if that leaf had been purple, alicorn-shaped, and weighed 150 pounds. Crawling from the underbrush, Twilight dragged herself through the open door of Sugarcube corner, bright silver flecks shooting across her vision.

“Oh goody!” Pinkie leapt from behind the counter, and crouched down in front of Twilight’s battered body. “You’re here! You can help me fix the SUPER-DUPER URGENT DISASTER!”

“I-I can’t feel my tongue...” Twilight whimpered.

Pinkie gasped in horror. “Oh NO! Your tongue is a REALLY important part of solving this emergency!”

“Guh...” Twilight’s crossed eyes slowly drifted back into place. “Wait... what?”

“Quick!” A pink hoof unhinged Twilight’s jaw, and another shoved a long, green vegetable into Twilight’s open gullet.

Twilight hacked on the object, and it popped up from her throat and into her tongue. Pinkie pushed her jaw up, which sent the object sliding forward slightly, crushing it between Twilight’s colliding sets of teeth. Her wings fluttered slightly in confusion from Pinkie’s handling, while bits of the vegetable settled into her numb mouth muscle. Pinkie continued to manually work Twilight’s jaw for her, an expression set in grim determination plastered on her face.

“HOLY FIERY NIPPLES OF CELESTIA!” Twilight screamed, her wings shooting straight out, purple feathers flying away from them as they did so. She fell back, clawing at her mouth, which was surely melting. Her tongue burned like the inside of a furnace. She spat out the remnants of the pepper, her eyes streaming torrents of tears down her cheeks. Bolting outside, smashing into a few tables along the way as her frenzied state did not lend to coordination, Twilight dropped to the ground and rammed her tongue into the earth, scraping dirt and gravel along it in an effort to quell the fire.

“Horray! Your tongue still works!” Pinkie piped cheerfully from inside. Twilight glared up from the dirt, mud running down her chin.

“A bit too much?” Pinkie said, her brows turning up in concern.

Twilight spat out an earthworm.

After getting Twilight a few cups of water, and a handbaskets’ worth of napkins, Pinkie sat down in the booth across from her. “I’m REEEEEAL sorry, Twilight! It’s just imperative that your tongue is in working order for this emergency to be solved!” Pinkie smiled goofily. “Hehe! You see what I did? I used ‘imperative’ in a sentence! I learned that from you!”

Twilight chugged her eleventh glass of water, and wiped down her chin and mouth with a napkin. “What are you insinuating, Pinkie? Why do I need my tongue for this emergency?”

“Becaaaaaause...” Pinkie jumped up on the booth, and sprung backwards across the room into the kitchen. Twilight gawked as she watched her fly across the room with little effort, having barely bent her knees as all.

“Oops! Forgot you!” Long, pink worm-like appendages stretched across the room and wrapped around Twilight like a hungry snake getting ready to crush the life out of its prey so that it could be consumed. Twilight yelped as she was yanked across the room, and deposited safely next to Pinkie in the kitchen. Before Twilight could so much as get a glimpse of the room, however, two pink hooves covered her eyes.

“No peaking! Anyway, where was I?” Pinkie tapped her chin in thought. “Oh yeah! Becaaaaaaaause...”

The hooves came down, and so did Twilight’s jaw. Mounds and mounds of yellow, tube-shaped pastries with cream leaking out of either end were piled all around the kitchen, reminiscent of the rock candy surplus back when Pinkie Pie had been preparing for Maud.

“As you can see, this is a HUGE problem!” Pinkie said, gesturing wildly to the hordes of confections. “I was up all night making twinkies and I accidentally went a little overboard!”

“What’s the problem with that?” Twilight asked. “I mean... this is a bit excessive, but everypony loves your twinkies! You’ll sell out of them by the end of the week, no doubt!”

“What’s the PROBLEM?” Pinkie shrieked, dragging her cheeks down in tortured agony. “The problem is that the Cakes’ said they’d be SUPER mad if I made a huge mess like this again! We gotta destroy the evidence, Twilight!”

Twilight looked around at the piles and piles of twinkies. “Oh well... I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love them too. I could eat a few of these with you...”

Pinkie squealed and clapped her hooves together. “Yay! You take that pile over there!” Twilight looked in the direction of Pinkie’s hoof, and paled at the mountain of pastry.

“Guh...” Twilight moaned, flopping on her side, her engorged belly groaning in tadum. “I don’t ever want to see another twinkie as long as I live...”

“Come on, Twilight!” Pinkie said, shoveling six twinkies into her mouth at once. “Yoo cahn doh igh!”

“I think I’m going to pop if I even look at another one!” Twilight closed her eyes and grimaced, clutching her stomach. Pinkie trotted over to her, and leaned down, nuzzling her cream-coated cheek.

“Okey-dokey!” Pinkie curled up next to Twilight, rubbing her hoof along her belly. “You can take a break!” She leaned over, and held a twinkie in her hoof. “Buuut... you don’t know what you’re missiiiing...”

Twilight cracked one eye, and saw Pinkie running the twinkie under her nose like it was a fine bouquet of roses. “Mmm... it sure smells good, Twilight!”

“Pinkie,” Twilight grunted, her mouth watering reflexively while her stuffed belly screamed out in protest. “Pinkie, please.”

Pinkie opened her mouth, and her long, pink tongue snaked out, gently caressing the end of the Twinkie. “Igh goog, Twigligh...”

“Pinkie.”

Pinkie swirled her tongue around the tip of the twinking, taking it in her mouth and suckling, her eyes falling to a half-lid. Twilight blushed slightly as Pinkie opened her mouth fully, and chomped down hard on the twinkie, spraying both her face and Twilight’s with cream.

Twilight clutched her stomach, groaning as the tantalizing cream dripped down her muzzle.

“Whoops! Better clean that up!” Pinkie dropped down next to Twilight, and began lapping at her face like Winona at a water bowl, her tongue clinging to the cream and scooping it into her mouth.

Twilight couldn't help but break out into a smile and giggle tiredly, swatting at Pinkie with her hoof each time her tongue came against her face. “Gah! Pinkie! Heh! S-Stop!”

“Nuh uh! Not until you’re clean!” Pinkie’s tongue slapped wetly against the bridge of Twilight’s muzzle, taking the last bit of cream, and she smiled, patting down the bits of fur that had been rubbed the wrong way by her tongue. “There you go! I’ll go get you some milk to help settle your tummy!”

“Pinkie...” Twilight said, looking around, moaning as she twisted into her back. “Why did you have me come here all alone?”

Pinkie froze in her tracks.

Twilight’s brow furrowed. “If you needed all of these twinkies eaten at the cost of the Cakes’ getting angry at you, why didn’t you bring in all of the girls? We would have made much more progress that way...”

Pinkie began to sweat. “U-Uh... let me go get you that milk, Twilight!”

Just as she scurried away, Twilight grabbed Pinkie’s tail in her telekinetic grasp. “What’s going on, Pinkie?”

Pinkie sighed, and slumped her upper body against the floor, her backlegs, hindquarters, and tail still raised high by the grasp of magic. “I-I just wanted some time alone with you for once, Twilight...”

Twilight’s expression turned up in confusion, and she gently lowered the rest of Pinkie Pie against the floor. “Huh?”

Pinkie flipped around, and hugged one of Twilight's forelegs, her large eyes watering. “It’s just... we’ve been special someponies for almost a MONTH and we haven’t done anything alone together! Lots of ponies are fun all together, but s-sometimes I just wanna have a part of two, you know? Just m-me and y-you! I-I thought that maybe you didn’t...”

Pinkie trailed off, and looked down at the floor, her face contorted in a grimace as her eyes began to water. A rush of purple, and Pinkie felt herself being drawn into a tight embrace; a warm body pressed against her front, and downy, feathery wings encased her back.

“Oh, no, Pinkie...” Twilight said, her voice barely above a whisper. “No... I still want to be with you, of course I do! I love you a lot! I-It’s just...” Pinkie looked up, her nose nearly booping into Twilight’s and she could see that her cheeks were redder than they’d ever been before. “I’m new to this too. I only ever dated anypony else once, and he was some stallion from Canterlot back when I was still in school. I only bothered going with him out of desperation... we were barely together for more than a week!”

Pinkie’s lip stopped trembling, and a hoof wiped away the tears from her large, blue eyes.

“And I figured, after you asked me, that I should read up on tips and such so that I could make this work better... I didn’t want to rush anything.” Twilight looked away from Pinkie, biting her lip. “I didn’t mean to neglect you Pinkie, I’m sorry...”

Twilight turned to look back at her, but was knocked flat on her back, pink lips pressed against her. Her eyes widened, but soon fell slack, letting her body go limp as Pinkie nestled on top of her, embracing her and kissing her with fierce fervor. Her wings pressed against Pinkie’s back, rubbing it gently as her back leg twitched with pleasure.

Pinkie broke the kiss, nuzzling Twilight's cheek. “It’s okay, Twilight! I forgive you!”

“Guh.”

“Eee! You always say the smartest, cutest things!”

“Guh?”

Pinkie giggled, and rolled off of Twilight, letting her sit up with some effort. “You think you can handle one more twinkie?”

Twilight gagged, shuddering. “I’m sorry, Pinkie, but I don’t think I was kidding earlier when I said I never wanted to see another one again.”

“Aw, come on!” Pinkie pouted, her bottom lip jutting out and her eyes growing huge and shimmering. “I made it special for us...”

“Alright, alright,” Twilight said, smiling and rolling her eyes. “I’ll try it. But if I pop, you gotta clean up the mess AND tell my parents.”

Pinkie giggled and sprung off towards the back of the kitchen. “Deal!”

A moment later, she returned, a glass of milk balanced in her mop of curls. “Here! You do deserve a bit of milk for eating ALL those twinkies!”

Twilight levitated the glass off of Pinkie’s head, and downed half of it in two gulps. “O-Oh jeez, you were right, that really hit the spot...”

“Goody!” Pinkie held up a small, twinkie shaped lump concealed with a cloth. “Pull on the napkin!”

Twilight set the glass down, and with a spark of her horn, gently tugged of the napkin. It fell away, and with a little burst of confetti, revealed the special twinkie Pinkie had baked. It was lavender, with a single stripe of dark indigo running along it.

“Oh wow, Pinkie...” Twilight covered her mouth with a hoof. “It’s beautiful!”

“Take a bite!” Pinkie squealed, vibrating slightly in place. Twilight leaned forward and took a tentative bite of the twinkie, closing her eyes and swallowing it with the aid of a gulp of milk. She opened them again, and gasped slightly.

The cream inside was pink, matching the color of Pinkie’s coat. Pinkie smiled brightly, her eyes shining, and Twilight honestly couldn’t tell if it were just how happy she was or because a ray of light from the kitchen window had just fallen on her.

“It’s a Twinkie twinkie!” Pinkie exclaimed. “It’s a portmanshoe of our names!”

Twilight blinked. “A what?”

“You know! When you combine two words together!”

Twilight giggled. “Pinkie, I think you mean a ‘portmanteau’.”

“That’s what I said! A portmanshoe!”

“Portmanteau.”

“Portabletooth!”

“Portmanteau!”

“Porkmansoon!”

Twilight sighed, and slumped against Pinkie Pie. Pinkie draped herself over Twilight’s shoulders, and nuzzled her neck gently. Twilight leaned against her, planting a small kiss on her nose.

“I love you, Pinkie. I really do...”

“I love you too, Twilight!”

“I’m gonna make sure I spend more time with you. I promise.”

Pinkie wrapped Twilight into a tight hug. “Yay! Does that mean we get to do it now?”

“PINKIE!”

Pinkie giggled and hugged Twilight tighter.