Bananas and Moon Cheese

by Sheddershy Magiclite

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random
Length: 1465

Luna and Celestia have just about the wackiest adventures you'll ever hear of.

Luna and Celestia sure have some pretty weird adventures. Giant bananas, Doritos, Mountain Dew, and moon cheese included. These two are the wackiest ponies you'll ever meet.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-15 16:30:02 UTC

Chapter 2- Moonswiss

This was it.

Luna was fed up, she had endured enough of this injustice already.

This was the moment, the very second to make her night continue endlessly, and to put an end, a halt, to the terrible plague of bananas.

"CELESTIA!" Luna honked, or rather barked, at her sister, who was residing in the corner of the room, with fluffed frosting and yellow and chocolate marbled cake smeared all over her face, dripping down her chin in a pink, sticky mess.  She was also eating bananas, two of which were stuck up near the gums of her teeth. She looked like a drunken walrus. (She probably secretly was)

"HONK?!?!" The zoned-out pony blinked at her, alarmed, eyes stretch wide.

"THIS DISHONOR AND SHAME OF THE MOON, THE NIGHT, AND ITS TITLE SHALL NOT BE RUINED FOREVER."

The pearl-coated alicorn stared at her furious, enraged cerulean sister.

She jumped atop on the ceiling, and shuffled up to Luna. She slowly moved her face closer to Luna, stopping only when their cheeks brushed. She extended a hoof, poking her sister's face with the cold metal of her shiny golden boot.

Celestia leaned in closer. "HONK."

Luna frowned, agitated.

"This is no time for foal's games, sister! You have been acting as the role of a tyrant!"

The odd, banana-obsessed, cake-loving mare blinked.

"This banana fetish of yours has to stop!"

Celestia's eyes widened even more.

"HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKKKKKK!!!!!!!!"

Luna's eyes narrowed dangerously, and she frowned even more maliciously.

The room went dark. Everything muted. Two white eyes and a eerie smile glowed at the end of a room.

"It's all ogre now," Luna sneered in an eerie voice.

A creepy, spine-tingling violin tune started playing.

The room and everything went completely opaque and silent again.

Then Luna exploded.

Celestia set off an alarm.

"HONK HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHOHOHOHONKA HOOOOONNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!"

Air horns went off, exploding everywhere, and Doritos and Mountain Dew rained down from the fresh cracks of the ceiling.

"This is my swamp!!!!!"

Luna's coat had turned black as midnight, and her mane was much larger, and moved like water on wax paper. She was much taller now, almost topping over Celestia. Her eyes were narrowed, and bat-like, and her teeth were sharp, as if they had been on a grindstone. She had light turquoise armor all over.

"OSTRITCH," Celestia bellowed, shaking the room.

"HUEHUEHUEHUEUHEHUEHUEUHEHUEUHEHUEHUEHUEHUEUHEUHEUHUEEEEEE!!!" Luna echoed her battle cry to the sky loudly.

Hard, light yellow cheese exploded everywhere, and moonswiss blocks now rained down from the sky, replacing the chips and soda.

Then, in that moment, Celestia knew what to do. She really didn't want to do this, but she had to.

The alicorn pulled out a large solid gold banana out from her left ear.

Luna, currently Nightmare Moon, charged onward.

Celestia grit her teeth and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

The black mare galloped now, only a few meters away.

Celestia, in the last moment, peeled the banana and slipped it under Nightmare Moon's rushed hooves.

Nightmare Moon tripped, and skidded to an instant halt a few inches away from her sister. The world froze.

Celestia grinned, happily, now. She pulled her sister closer, and leaned in close. Even upon waving a banana near her face, the stunned mare didn't react.

Celestia promptly shoved it directly into her mouth and stood back.

The mess around the castle cleaned itself up in a flash and a poof.

Nightmare Moon exploded.

Near where her feet were lay a sad and shameful filly.

Celestia leaned in, and picked up the reformed Luna.

They looked at each others eyes, Luna smiled sheepishly, and Celestia grinned.

They both hugged each other and and smirked they opened their mouths to speak.

And if you were there, what you would have heard outside of the castle gates would be two loud HONKS in symphony.

"HONK!" "HONK!"

Chapter 3- Lunar Breakout

Celestia and Luna were sitting on their entertainment room couch, eating cheesy popcorn and bananas.

There wasn't much on the television that day that was interesting.

They sat in silence, doing nothing but pressing the buttons on the remote, fiddling with the channel numbers.

Suddenly, a loud CRASH! Resounded near the back room.

"What was that?!" Luna stared at her sister, who was unflinching, paying attention to absolutely nothing, as usual.

Celestia weirdly turned her head upside down. She merely honked.

Luna rolled her eyes, and walked out the room to investigate.

"HOLY MOTHER OF KERMIT!!!"

Luna's jaw gaped.

The crescent moon was lying, tattered and slightly burnt, in her backroom.

It shifted, clicking quickly, and exploded. Moonswiss was everywhere.

"What the-" Luna was cut off.

A lime green figure shifted in the corner of her vision.

"I think this is yours, but that's none of my business."

Kermit looked at Luna with his usual expressionless stare.

He pulled a glass of iced tea from behind his back, and sipped it casually.

"What?"

Luna just stared. "Who are you?!"

Kermit looked unimpressed. "I'd suppose since you exclaimed, 'holy mother of Kermit' that  you'd know who I am."

Luna shut her jaw with a snap. "Kermit? But your'e not r-"

"I am, in fact, very much real."

"But how- Why...What?"

Kermit turned to her again.

"Now, listen, little Luna. I was flying through space and noticed that my little dimension I created here was missing its pretty little moon. I looked around to the castle here, and thought about you sister. She's always attempting some stupid act, is she not? So, I peeked into the fridge, and what do you know? The moon in the cheese bin."

Luna looked back, and up to Kermit again, unsure of what to say.

"Well a nice 'Thank you' would do."

Luna stared at him, paused, and breathed out a mangled, "Thanks."

Kermit made a scrunchy face, sipped his tea, and broke through the glass window.

Luna gazed at the smoke trail he was leaving behind.

Celestia looked around behind Luna.

Luna looked back.

Celestia spoke quietly. "I'd ask what this was about, but that's none of my business."

Luna opened her mouth to speak, her eyes widening.

"Honk!"

Chapter 1- Luna and the Giant Space Banana

I blasted through the air to the moon, sailing through the depths of the seemingly endless star-dazzled night sky.

I landed with a hard thump.

My sister had sent me here. The darn troll.

She loved cake too much, and she wouldn't share. Not with anyone. Not even with her sister.

She worshiped bananas too often. She was like a goose, she honked.

She is, as you can probably tell, a little messed up.

I looked at my surroundings.

Not much. Silver rock everywhere.

Then, a midst the gray, I see a sudden bright flash of canary yellow.

It's a banana.

It dances around me, loudly shaking its maracas.

There is no sound in space.

But when white chocolate macadamia cookies created the world, they made sound on the moon and sun, and on the rest of the solar system's planets.

I took at deep breath. There was air here too, of course.

I could smell the yellow of the banana.

I looked at it more closely. I could hear the shape of it.

It was browning a bit, as I could taste.

I bit it. It wasn't so bad.

The banana was not alive. It never was.

It could dance because of Celestia. Celestia gave all bananas brown, yellow, blue, and green alike, the magic of the conga.

She dances with bananas on Saturdays.

She worships them on Sundays.

She eats them on Mondays.

She turns all toy cars into bananas and makes little children play traffic accident with them on Tuesdays.

She throws them at pedestrians on Wednesdays.

She wears a banana suit on Thursdays.

She rides into town on an ostrich screaming, "Molly is free," on Fridays.

On Banana, the day Celestia created for national banana worship, she makes it rain bananas for 24 hours.

When she is not doing any of these, she is worshiping cake.

I sigh.

Maybe I if I hadn't been so harsh on her, she would have invited me to one of her clubs next Tuesday.

The banana I had been chewing turns into Celestia.

Her horn is chipped.

She revives it, and turns to me.

She pulls and ice cream cone out of her left ear. She licks it and honks at me.

I grin happily.

We ride back home together in a multi-colored flash, thanks to her magic. I'm holding for dear life, gripping her flowing tail tightly.

We then proceed to fall down into a giant mountain of bananas.

Landing with a thump, we both guffaw at the hilarious sight.

Oh. I forgot. It's Banana.