TiM: Love Under the Shadows

Chapters

Return to Hell
Personal Demons
A Promise Kept
A Promise Broken
Under the Moon's Light (C)
Vindication and Absolution
To Thine own self be True

Return to Hell

Author's Note

You will find this story is slightly different than the others. Unlike the others we wrote this story in first person present tense. This was just done for this one story and when the next big one comes out it will be back to third person. As we've never written like this before, feel free to point out any errors that we may have missed.

Return to Hell

Chapter One: Return to Hell

Tartarus

“I owe you a kick in the balls, son of Tartarus.”

That voice, I know that voice, but the pain shooting through my body is causing me too much agony, so much so that I almost didn’t hear it. Every breath I take hurts, almost to the point that I question if it’s worth breathing at all.

I should be dead, I know that much. The accursed one that stole my mother from me blasted me through the chest when I had my guard down. Yet somehow I still breathe, somepony must have healed me while I was out. My own healing power seems to have failed me. I don’t know why.

As I open my eyes I see her, my mom, Nightmare Moon. She’s back. She’s standing right above me like she never left. I want more than anything for her to pick me up and hold me in her hooves like she used to all those years ago. I had given up on getting her back; I had done it for him… for my Taz. He… he’s worth losing her; he is the only thing that is.

How did I fall for somepony like him? The better question would be: How could I not? Taz... I’ve never known such a noble soul, a pony that always tries to do good. My father wants him for his own use, he will fail. Taz will find a way to overcome him. I know this like I know the color of my dark-blue coat. Taz is too good, too kind to let himself be used. I had given up on seeing my mom again for him. I may hate Luna, but I know he doesn’t. I made a decision to give her up because I knew it was what he would want.

Seeing her now, I question that decision.

“Mommy?” I ask, hoping she will hear me.

It hurt to say that much, but she’ll heal me; she’ll make it alright again. Then I can go free Taz from my father and we can be together, just the three of us; like we were in my dreams.

My mom looks down at me and I do my best to smile, something made next to impossible with the pain I’m in. She’s as beautiful as I remember. She’s a night-black alicorn with blue smoke for a mane and tail. Her armor stands out on her head and neck. Then… she does something odd, she laughs. “This is just too precious, my darling little angel,” her words make me want to smile again; It’s happening just like in my memories.

“Look how cute you are…” her face makes little kisses in the air.

I feel a tear start to fall from my eye. She’s back, I got my mommy back, the thought makes me want to smile, and somehow, I do. I will the muscles in my face to form that smile. I’m smiling at my mother.

“How droll. I feel like I could puke at the sight of you.” My mother’s words hurt far worse than Princess Luna’s attack. Why is she saying these things? I feel tears falling once more. My muzzle hurts again as the smile falls from my face. It hurts far more to frown than it does to smile. Yet, I can do nothing else. Why… why did she say that? The thought does me no good. I have no hope of trying to find the answer.

“You really let Timespire regress you? And you have the gall to be my daughter? I don’t think so. You are such a disappointment, such a waste of time. When I left you were a four hundred year old pegasus.

You were a powerhouse, easily the equal of either Timespire or Mindsink! I won’t say I was proud of you, we both know that could never be, but at least you could hold your own. Now look at you, you’re just a stupid little foal all over again. You weren’t worth the effort to rear the first time, what in the world makes you think I’d go through that again? Although, I do have to give you credit for avoiding Luna’s presence for all this time. But even then… as far I can remember from the bits in my mind, you spared her. To make matters worse, you let her spare you like a little foal. I guess you really are a nothing more than that – you’re nothing more than a little foal again, aren’t you? You should stay like this for your failure. Just look at you! Even I can’t stand it, you’re disgusting!”

This… this isn’t right. This isn’t right at all. She… why did she say that? Her words make me realize one more thing, she... she hates me.

She picks me up. It hurts… it hurts so much. The movement shifts my body around. Forcing organs and bones into positions they don’t want to be in. I cry, I cry out in pain, I cry out in agony. I’m in her hooves, she’s pressing my chest against hers, and she’s cooing at me while rubbing my back.

It’s everything I’ve wanted for the last sixty-two years and I just want it to end. I want more than anything to be anywhere else. Whatever it took for me to no longer be in her hooves. I don’t want to be in her hooves anymore, I want… I want to be in Taz’s hooves.

It’s all I want anymore.

“Oh dear daughter, you’re three times the failure. Letting yourself get regressed, letting Mindsink change your memories, and then failing to finish off Princess Luna. Don’t cry just because you're worthless and I never wanted you, cry because of what I’m going to do to you because of that fact. Cry for the knowledge that you will never again be with your little lover. Surprised? Every mother can feel that. Maybe I should kill that little colt after you? How about that? But let’s start off with you, it will be much more fun and I will finally be rid of you!”

She’s going to attack Taz; she’s going to kill him. I… I have to stop her, I hav-

She tosses me into the air. The pain hits and my face contorts from it. I must flap my wing, I try; I try with all my might to fly. My wings won’t move. I keep trying, I… I…

An energy blast hits me in the chest. It forces me up in the air. It hurts… it burns. My body becomes fire, it… it becomes pain. I cry out. It hurts… it hurts so much.

After an eternity I fall off the energy blast. I can barely open my eyes. I’m falling; I’m falling into the debris of the castle. The fall alone will kill me.

Another tear falls, this time it’s not from the physical pain.

Taz… I’m so, so sorry.

…

I’ll come back for you!

Celestia’s Palace

I wake in a cold sweat. My body feels like it’s on fire. My mind hurts, my head hurts; everything just hurts. It was that dream again, the dream that will not leave me alone, the one that I cannot remember after awaking. I check the calendar; it’s the tenth time in two weeks that I’ve had that dream.

I’ve been keeping track.

It’s getting worse. It started the night that my mom dragged me out of Tartarus almost a month ago. I feel a wet streak run down my muzzle. Wiping it with a night-black hoof, I look down to see the tear that fell from my eye.

“Nighttide,” I say.

They tell me she’s dead, they tell me she’s gone, killed by the resurrected Nightmare Moon.

They’re wrong. I know this; I feel it in my heart. I’m a blank, magic and I just cannot exist together, and yet I know what nopony else knows.

“I’ll come back for you,” I repeat the words just like I do every single day. I made her that promise, I promised her that, and I intend to keep it. I… I just don’t know how, yet.

I sat up and roll off my bed. The sheets stuck to my back come with me. My night sweats cause them to stick to my fur. I don’t care; they’ll fall off just like they have every other day. Walking forward to leave my room, I notice my reflection in the mirror.

My mane is in stark contrast to my coat. I was born with a night-black coat, but a light blue and purple mane. It’s almost comical just how ratty it is right now. Brushing just doesn’t seem worth the effort. My eyes stop me from laughing; my magenta eyes just look… old, old and tired, far older than a thirteen year-old’s eyes should look.

Despite myself, my eyes trace my reflection in the mirror down to my flank, my blank flank. To think that things like cutie marks used to matter to me, that thought did cause me to chuckle. It seems so juvenile now.

The action is refreshing in a way. I shake my head and leave the room. It’s refreshing to know that I can still find humor in things, even if it is something as stupid as that.

“Today,” I say.

I haven’t spoken to Shimmering Night since the day she drove me from Canterlot… well, not in any meaningful way anyway. We exchanges platitudes, but we never talk about the elephant in the room.

Today we will, today I’ll thrust that elephant in her muzzle and force her to deal with it, just like she did to me. I don’t give a damn if she’s up for it or not. I’ve waited long enough. “Today I’ll come back for you, Nighttide.”

It’s more of a promise to myself than to Nighttide, but I hope she hears it anyway.

My path to the infirmary takes me past the throne room. I know not to look, I know to keep my head straight and eyes forward, and yet I look anyway.

They’re on the thrones, just like I knew they would be. Rainbow is lying down upon hers. She’s still ‘The Rainbow Dash’, still my mom, still brash, still cocky, still arrogant, and yet… yet she’s changed. Her wings are gone. Those beautiful golden wings… they’re just gone and it’s my fault.

It’s all my fault.

She told me it’s not, she told me that it was Red, and that he tricked me into wearing those damn essence stones. She’s wrong, Red could do a lot, but I chose to wear them, that was my doing, a decision I must own, and this is nothing more than the consequence for that decision.

Rainbow Dash, the greatest, fastest flyer that Equestria, no… that the world had ever known had her wings clipped, by me. She can say what she wants, but the facts are the facts. It’s my fault, I accept it, I own it, and I’ll fix it.

If only I knew how.

Nopony spoke it, but we all had doubts that maybe, just maybe her wings were gone for good. She’s a pegasus; the magic that makes up her wings may not come back, even with the removal of the bracelet around her hoof. We never speak of it because there is nothing we can do about it. There is no need to invite trouble as we have more than enough as is.

Twilight looks the same as always, well, to anypony that did not grow up around her, or that did not call her wife or mom. She was born a unicorn and became an alicorn by her own self-worth. After what Rainbow lost, she can’t even bring herself to complain. Often, she’d still try to fall back to her magic, when I watch her, I can still see that. I catch small attempts by her to try and levitate a book down from a shelf or her trying to use her magic to pick up a spoon.

I know that if I see it, Rainbow definitely does. Looking at her now, I see her going down a scroll rolled out on the throne. I know she’s marking off another item for today, and then she slightly pauses, a deadpan expression on her face. She’s trying to do it again. She’s trying to roll up the scroll with her magic. It breaks my heart at times.

Rainbow saw it too.

Without a word she jumps over to Twilight’s throne and lies down next to her. I see Rainbow rest her muzzle on Twilight’s neck. Twilight flashes a warm, thankful smile for that small action. Actions always speak so much louder than words.

I know that Twilight is the only reason Rainbow hasn’t had her hoof removed. For almost a year Rainbow lived with three hooves while I was growing in my mom’s belly. I think Twilight just doesn’t want to see her like that again. Not unless she has to anyway. The sight before me, that connection, and the love I see them share, it all combines to remove any doubt I have about what I decided.

“I’ll come back for you,” I whisper under my breath and let my parents be.

The walk to the infirmary does me no good. Every step seems to bring back that very doubt. Almost as if my mind is trying to tell me to let it be; that they’re all right, and that Nighttide really is gone. I shake my head clear and keep walking. It doesn’t matter if they’re right or not, I made a promise to come back for her, and I’ll keep that promise.

Just like I was raised to do.

Twilight had an entire hospitals’ worth of equipment moved here for everypony. She told the doctors to do it and that she didn’t give a damn about any inconvenience it may cause. She wanted her family under one roof and as princess she would get it. That had actually caused Rainbow to smile. It was a rare day when mom would use her authority like that.

The first door I pass in the temporary infirmary was Vela’s. I still cannot believe what happened to Emperor Icarus while we were in Tartarus. He died saving all of my friends. I suppose, if I had to pick a way to go out that would be the one I’d pick. Empress Vela was pulled out of the cavern at around the same time we got out of Tartarus. She suffers from third degree burns over most of her body, yet she lives. She lives because Icarus gave her his spear. A spear she still clutches tightly in her grip. The hippogriff never let go of that spear, even in her coma she holds it in a death grip. No pony was dumb enough to try and remove it. Not as long as her mom had any say in it anyway.

Aurora Flash, my sister, the first mare I loved. She had an almost permanent spot next to her daughter. I’d be lying if I said I don’t still feel something for Aurora, even now. However, it’s not the same as before.

My feelings being brought to the forefront like they were, and then having them rejected, it let me move on. Aurora will always be more to me than just a sister, but I can’t say I love her anymore, not like that anyway.

While one of Aurora’s hooves was still in a cast, that wasn’t what kept her here. Her daughter did that. In truth I think there is nowhere else she’d rather be. She has plenty to do, letters arrive from Warclaw almost every day, she does what she can, but she won’t go back, not yet. Everything she has left is right here. Until she can take her daughter home, this is where she’ll stay. Sitting at her daughter’s bed doing as every mother should.

Curled up to Vela as if he was a small cat was her brother, Dayspring. The little hippogriff had not said a word since Vela’s body was dug out of the ice-cavern. I know he won’t move from that spot, not until she wakes up. The love he has for his sister is absolute.

I only know of one time that Aurora left her daughter’s side and that was when she went to see our brother, Sunshin- Dayspring Gleam. They talked for just five minutes. There was a lot of cursing coming from my sister, and when I next saw Dayspring he had a black eye. However, it had been Dayspring’s insistence that she not come back for a while.

When I asked him about it he told me that it wasn’t because of her hitting him, rather, it was because she had someone more important to be with. Sun- Day always did have everypony’s best interests in heart.

What really brought me to tears was when he met with Twilight and Rainbow. Not a word was said during the first two times they met. They simply held each other and cried. I admit that I did too. However, such silence would not last. After the third day of it the questions were finally brought forth.

To the day I die I’ll never forget his answer. He told us that he stayed away for the most basic of reason. When I first saw him I thought it was some sick game he was playing with me, I was wrong. Day stayed away because he was afraid. Grim Night used him to hurt everyone he loved, to hurt his sister, and his friends. He was awake for all of it, aware of everything. The Night revenant tortured him with the information of what he was going to do.

He had stayed away because he blamed himself for everything, but… but he wouldn’t just leave me alone, not with what he knew. As I suspected, all the strange things that happened to me, they were his work. He told us that while he couldn’t be my brother, he could still be my friend.

Rainbow dogpiled him at that; she called him a big dork while crying into his chest. To this day I’ve never seen her so emotional.

The only reason he’s still in the infirmary is that our parents won’t let him leave. Twilight wants every test verified eight times over with three different doctors. Physically he's fine; however, his magic is another story.

He exhausted himself during his battle in Tartarus with Red. I saved his life but it left him weak, drained of all his magical reserves. In Tartarus his magic couldn’t refill as it would in Equestria. The doctors say it will just take time for it to come back, how much was anypony’s guess.

Personally I think mom just wants to make sure he’s safe. After the shit he pulled he deserves it. I think he’s enjoying it anyway. For sixteen years he lived without a family, now he’s enjoying the attention, even if he does complain about it from time to time.

My cousin comes to see him almost daily. Radiant and Dayspring were the best of friends before his death. Radiant seems driven by something, something none of us can nail down. He never told any of us more than the basics of what happened in Tartarus, something about the God Eros.

Twilight had him scanned by more ponies than I can count. Not a one of them found any evidence of Mindsink tampering with his mind. Mom didn’t seem very happy with that answer and I doubt she will be happy with what anypony else has to say until she can scan him herself.

The room across from Vela was Flash’s. I glance inside to see the pegasus relaxing on his bed, bored. He has a cast on his back hoof that makes getting around a challenge for the young pegasus. The extra weight throws off his flight and after the third time he crashed into the wall the doctors told him that they’d put a cast on his wings if they caught him flying again.

If he had been close to his brother before this now they were inseparable. Blaze helped Flash with everything, well… almost everything. Every day at three p.m. Flash would tell his brother to step aside as he paid Vela a visit. I watched it one day; he’d hobble across the hallway and jump up on her bed with Dayspring and Aurora. Aurora would nod at him, but no words would pass between them. He’d stay on her bed for thirty minutes before getting up and hobbling back to his room.

Only once did somepony try to help him. Nopony has made that mistake again. He’s done it alone for three weeks straight now. Never once has he missed a day.

When the twins were told about their grandma’s death, it changed something in them. Nothing obvious, but they’re just… different. I don’t know yet if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Right now I’m going with bad. I want things to go back to the way it was before… I might as well try to move the sun with my mind.

I shake my head clear again and continue down the hallway. My destination is the room at the end, the room that used to be my parent’s bedroom. They gave over the entire hallway to this makeshift infirmary. For this room they needed the biggest space in the palace. For this held two different ponies. Well… technically four, but only two actually made use of it for it’s intended purpose.

As I walk in the first thing I see is the white sheet that split the room in two and gives them each some privacy. On the right side of the room lay Starlight. I’ve never seen her so hurt, so weak. She’s always been a natural leader, so powerful and strong. Yet even she was brought low.

What little I could see of her blue coat was burned black. She’s bandaged from hoof to head in medical wraps. Of all of them she had taken the worst of it. Most of her body is covered in third degree burns from the revenant Fire.

“Red, I will get you for this,” I vow again.

Her sister, Ana, is almost always by her side. Ana takes care of everything her sister needs. I’ve seen her on more than one occasion push the doctors out of the way when she thought that she could do it.

When she’s not with Starlight she’s with me. However; I know when she’s with me she just wants to be with her sister. Whenever I try and tell her to go back, she tells me that she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

I’m not that dumb. Even I can see the conflicting desires in her, it’s tearing her apart. She’s happy I’m back, but sad about her sister’s condition – a condition that is only getting better because of Starlight’s roommate.

It still pisses off Ana, but Shimmering Night was the other pony in this room. I look over, already knowing what I will see. Night is sitting up on the bed, she looks – for lack of a better term – weak.

Night was the one that opened up the portal allowing us to escape Tartarus. She did it by using the magic that was there, the dead magic that was there. I never knew such a thing existed, but that ignorance doesn’t change the fact that it’s killing her.

Unlike Mindsink and Timespire, she isn't in Tartarus to simply draw upon more of that power in order to keep herself healthy. Here, in Equestria, she’s feeling the full effect of using such power.

She’s able to keep herself going with the magic in Equestria. She can command it to heal her and it does for now, but it’s almost like the Tatarus magic she used is punishing her for using Equestrian magic. That punishment is made worse by the fact that she’s the only alicorn that can raise and lower the sun. Twice a day, despite her condition, she’ll switch around the celestial bodies. Around noon she’ll exhaust herself doing what she can for her daughter.

Even I can see that she is pushing herself too much. It’ll keep her weak but she won’t do anything less.

I don’t think Ataxia has left this room since they were brought here. I can’t really blame her for that one. Her wife and daughters are both in these four walls, why would she leave?

Ataxia’s concern only seemed to increase when Night started puking in the mornings. I don’t know if it’s a sign of her condition getting worse or not. I hope not.

Twilight has teams of researchers in every city of Equestria and the Griffin Empire looking for a cure for my sister’s condition. Even I knew they’ll find nothing. A God has never died before. How could anypony, griffin, or whatever know what to do when one uses their magic?

“Hey Taz,” Ataxia says as she sees me walking towards my sister’s bed.

Night looks at me, blushes, and then looks away. I already know why, she’s guilty of everything she accused me of wanting. However, she doesn’t know that I know, not yet anyway.

“Taz!” Ana’s scream alerts me that she sees me too. I turn around to look at her only to be wrapped up in a hug. The hug feels nice, but she really needs a shower. I don’t mention it; some truths are better off kept to yourself.

“Hey Ana,” I say, “I need to talk with my sister. Would you mind giving us a minute?”

She glares over my shoulder at Night. I know she’s staring daggers at her mother.

“It’s nothing bad, I just gotta ask her something, in private,” I lie. I do need to ask her in private, but it is something bad. Something Ana cannot know about.

With the obvious hesitation on her face I’m forced to double down: “Please, for me?”

I smile as that seems to win her over. Although she does glare at Night once more before hugging me again and leaving. As I turn around to face the other two in the room, the sounds of Starlight’s heart monitor to my right reminds me that there is in fact a forth; however, she hasn’t woken up since her last surgery. There’s no real risk there.

“Ataxia…” I look at her. She’s glaring at me in disbelief, already knowing what I’m going to ask. “Would you mind?” I gesture with a head nod to the door.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ataxia asks me.

“Night and I need to talk about…” I look down, letting the weight of what I want to talk about speak for me.

“About what?”

Mentally I’m hitting myself in the face with a hoof; I should'a known she wouldn’t catch on.

“It’s fine Ataxia, I… I want to talk with him, alone,” Shimmering Night says. Earning herself a disbelieving stair from her wife.

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Ataxia replies.

“I want you to,” Night counters. “For me.”

Like daughter like mother it seems. Ataxia takes one more look around before sighing and heading to the door. Sincerity always seems to speak with a weight of its own.

I watch her leave and knew that I should be smiling, but I’m not. That was the easy part; the hard part is what comes next. Sighing, I jump up on the bed and lie next to Night. My front hooves sticking out in front of me, my back underneath.

“Night I-” she cut off my words by grabbing me and wrapping me in a big hug. She’s pulling me as close to her as she possibly can while crying out on my fur.

By all rights I’m a big pony, but not even I can stand up to an alicorn’s size.

I should be insulted, I should be mad, I want to be mad. It’s not her place to cry about this; she was the one that chased me off, the one that made me consider suicide. Yet… yet, I’m not mad about it.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she sobs into my coat, crying like a school filly that just got dumped. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Or is it that I feel sorry that she’s in such pain? It’s dumb, she outed me, she blew up at me, and she chased me off making me want to kill myself, yet I feel sorry for her.

If I’m honest with myself, I’m relieved that I do, even if it makes what I’m about to do next that much harder.

“Night,” I say with in a deadpan voice. It’s all I can do to keep from breaking down with her. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Can you forgive me?” she cries as she lets me go.

A part of me regrets what I know I will say next, but the words still leave my muzzle. “You have to do something for me, before I can even consider forgiving you.”

She blinks and looks up at me. “What do you want?”

I sigh and look out of the window, not sure how I should form my demand, or my offer to forgive her in return for said demand. “You need to understand something, Night. I was about to kill myself after what you said.” I admit the truth to her; the shocked expression on her face hurts me and I’m not even looking at it.

“Things like what you said, what you did, they can’t just be forgiven, you have to earn such forgiveness,” I pause for dramatic effect before staring directly at her, “I know how you can, I want you to open a portal back to Tartarus for me.”

“You want me to do WHAT?” her eyes widen. “No, Taz. You know that Rainbow and Twilight would kill me if I did something like that. Besides, I’m not even sure if I can in my state.”

“That’s a lie and you know it. They would never hurt you and I’m pretty sure that you still have the power to open it. Maybe not for much longer, but you still have it at the moment.” I close with a smile; there was confidence in my voice.

“You can’t ask that from me, Taz. Anything, but not that, please!” she cries again, staining her coat with new tears.

“Well, you open that portal or maybe we should talk a bit about how you and Ataxia fucked Icarus and Aurora?” It hurts me in no small amount to play my trump card, but I’m too far committed, there’s no other way now.

Now she really is sputtering, her eyes widen even more. I can’t see what’s going on in her mind, but I know that she’s considering her options. And with what I just said, they’re not really good. Well, not for her anyway.

After a while, it seems that she finally reaches a decision. “Well, so you know. I’m sorry for what I said to you, I did everything I accused you of wanting to do and I even enjoyed it. I won’t try and say it was a mistake, but before I can even consider doing something like this, I need to know, why do you want to go back to Tartarus? Give me a good answer and I’ll consider it.”

Is she joking? I just threatened her and she acts like I’m simply asking her for a favor? Nonetheless, my muzzle opens to speak one word. The only word that I give a damn about right now.

“Nighttide.”

“You’re kidding me, right? Nighttide is dead! I saw Nightmare Moon kill her!”

I feel anger rising in me, burning through my insides. I stand up and stomp a hoof on the edge of the bed, feeling the frame crack under the force.

“She’s NOT dead! She lives and I have to find her!” I scream the words at her.

“Why?” she asks bluntly.

The question takes me by surprise, “Why?” I repeat back at her, confused.

“Why do you want to risk everything for that mare? She may not even be a pony; the only thing we know for sure is that she’s hundreds of years old, Taz. After everything we went through to get you back, why would you risk your life for her?”

Thinking about it for just a short time I found the answer. It was in the last place I suspected. My mind was unsure about it, but that wasn’t what speaks now, my heart does.

“Because she’s everything to me. I don’t really know why but… but I need her. Even if I’m too late, even if there is nothing to find but…” I can’t bring myself to say her body, “I have to know for sure, I have to at least look. I owe her that much, I owe it to myself.” I look up with tears in my eyes and stare at her, “Will you please open a portal for me? Please, sis?”

Silence. It carries on for several minutes before she smiles; at least it looks like a smile to me.

“I’ll do it.”

“You will?” It’s only now do I realize that I did not expect my plea to actually work.

“Yes, Taz. I’ll do it, but there’s not much time. Soon I will be too weak to open a portal.” she closes her eyes and her face scrunches up. “I guess we have around one day left before I’ll be unable to command such power safely.”

“What does that mean?” I ask her.

“I will open a small portal, then another one after exactly nineteen hours and thirty-two minutes. It should give you three hours to find whatever you can and return. Don’t waste any time there, once I’ve lost that control I can’t bring you back and Twilight won’t be able to for months!”

“Can’t you just leave the portal open?” I ask.

Night shakes her head.

“It draws upon the ambient magic all around it. It would negatively impact all of Canterlot if I open it for more than a minute at a time. I’m ashamed to say the last one destroyed Whitetail Woods. Nothing will grow there ever again.”

“What happens if I find her earlier, she’s hurt, and we have to get back immediately?”

“You better hope that you two can get through the hours then. There’s no way to send me a signal or likewise.” she hangs her head before continuing. “If you find her alive and she needs immediate help there is nothing I can do. I would suggest that you take saddlebags with some medical equipment with you. Some bandages, IV fluids, and other things.”

“What do we do about the others? I’m pretty sure that they will notice if you open a portal,” I say, my mind instantly going to Ataxia, Radiant, Ana, and Sun- Dayspring.

“You sound like you’re trying to talk me out of it,” Night has a smile on her face when she says that.

“No I-”

She cuts me off again, “Taz, I’m going to ask you this one time and one time only. You may die on this mission as not everything left Tartarus; I felt that much last month. So, you need to answer this question before I’ll open the portal,” she pauses for what I can only assume to be dramatic effect, “Is she worth it? Don’t answer quickly.”

I sat back on my haunches and close my eyes. Night’s right, I do need to answer the question, I deserve the answer and so does she. If… if the worst should happen I will die down there, if she’s going to send me off to my death, she deserves to know the truth.

With my eyes closed I can almost make out the dream. The same one that keeps haunting me, day in, and day out. It’s like a song just at the edge of your memory, something you can only notice by not noticing. Something you’re only aware of by not being aware of it.

I’ll come back for you!

The thought screams in my mind louder than a horn whistle going off right in my ear. Something I owe Blaze for by the way. My eyes snap open and I know the answer. There is no more doubt, I simply know.

“Yes,” it was at once the hardest and easiest word I’ve ever said. “She’s worth it, more than anypony else could ever understand.”

“I think I might,” Night says to nopony in particular as she glances off into the distance. I’ve seen that look on her face before, it’s the same look she normally has when she looks at Ataxia. Well… when she’s not mad at her that is. “Gather some supplies; you should be able to find everything you need in this room.”

Before I can jump off the bed she catches me in one more hug, “I’m proud of you, LBBFF.”

I hate that stupid acronym.

She lets me go and I leave the bed to fetch one of my mom’s old saddlebags from her closet. Despite myself, I’m confused as to why she would be proud of me. I’m about to risk my life on what would be considered a fool’s errand by most ponies, and yet… yet she says she’s proud of me?

I shake my head clear and keep packing. She’s right about one thing, all the supplies I could want are in this room. I quickly find everything I can think of and a few extra things just in case. Including a few bottles of water and some gross hospital food. Worst-case scenario it beat eating rocks.

I find myself with a slight spring to my step as I turn back around to face my sister. She’s sitting up in bed with a shit-eating grin on her face just watching me. I write it off, just another mystery for another day. “I should be ready,” I say.

“Almost.” Night says as she levitates a watch to me. With a quick flash of magic it’s attached to my hoof. “I’ve already set it to go off every hour. You’ll have three hours, no more, no less,” I smile, she frowns, “Taz, you need to know...“ her hesitance to say what she wants to say worries me, “It’s been over twenty-six days for us. For her it would have been four days. That’s four days without food and without water. Nopony has lasted more than three days without water.”

I look down at that. This is my final test, my last chance to back out, I know it, and she knows it.

I’ll come back for you!

My dream shouts at me again.

“Well,” I look up at her with an expression that belittles my age. “Good thing she’s not just a pony, right?”

She smiles one more time at me before turning her head to the wall, her face contorts into one of pain as her eyes start to glow white. She starts drawing upon the magic all around us to do her will. The sight of it almost causes me to panic and unleash my own ability, almost. I know that would be the most counterproductive thing I could do right now so I rein it in.

The wall she’s facing seems to implode. In a quick glance I can see it, I can see the shades of grays and darkness, the black hills that span the background. Tartarus, it’s the one place I both want to be and never want to return to.

Without so much as a goodbye, I gallop into the portal. Everything that has been said is already said, this is the time for actions, not words.

Besides, I have a promise to keep.

“I love you, LBBFF!” the shout follows me into Tartarus as the portal snaps shut behind me.

“I love you too, sis,” I say to nopony in particular as I turn to where I assume the remains of Tartarus’s Castle are located.

Before I realize that I have no clue what direction it’s in.

“Maybe I should have thought this through,” I say with a gulp.

Personal Demons

Chapter two: Personal Demons

The Nightmare

“Buck you, Timespire!” I shout at the top of my lungs.

I normally hate the rotten bastard, but this is a new low even for him. Timespire and Mindsink know that my mom is going to be set free soon, and they’re doing everything in their power to ruffle my feathers about it. I don’t even care that she’s leaving, I was nothing to her and she’s just the same to me. However, these two seem to think we care for each other or something. I think it’s the implications of their words that pisses me off worse than what is actually being said.

“I think you made little Nighttide mad, Timespire.” Mindsink says from the other side of me. I hear him, but I don’t take my eyes off Timespire. However bad Mindsink might be, Timespire is worse.

“I think you’re right, brother,” Timespire replies with an evil grin on his face. I can feel it; I can feel his eyes glaring into my soul. I stand up straight and tall, I know they’re not really equine, I might be, but I’m not one-hundred percent sure. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m bigger than them. At my full height I’m almost equal to my father’s size, almost.

Given, I’ll never have his bulk, but there’s something instinctually fearful about facing a bigger opponent. Neither of the brothers shows such fear now. I knew they wouldn’t, but it makes me feel superior anyway.

“Looks like she wants to play,” Mindsink says.

“I think you’re right,” Timespire agrees.

“Bring it,” I say back with a smile. “I kicked your flank all over the moon last time we spared, Timespire. My skills have not grown rusty.”

I smile and close my eyes. Eyes are worthless right now, they’re for seeing light. We exist in the shadows, not the light. Already I can feel my taunt working as I intended. Their objective is to simply goad me, to cause me to make a stupid move.

It’s a good plan, one I can easily co-opt for myself. Timespire comes at me seconds before Mindsink does. I can feel it, his rage, and his anger. It’s easy to tell he’s still pissed about the last time I beat him. They have a relatively good strategy, pincer attacks are a bitch to defend against.

Well… unless you happen to be Nightmare Moon’s daughter. A little factoid they keep forgetting about.

I don’t mind giving them another reminder. After all, a girl’s gotta have some fun.

At the last possible second I shift my body into smoke, laughter escapes me as they collide into each other, their bumbling forms impacting against each other with an ‘umph’.

There’s just one thing I hate about this. Both of them are technically inside of me. The thought is rather repulsive, but sacrifices must be made. After all, all victory comes at a cost. My father taught me that much.

I reform right behind Timespire and kick out with my back hooves. There’s a rather satisfying crunching noise as I feel my hooves make impact with his nuts. I laugh at his pain, I laugh at the agony he’s in. I know I can’t do any real damage, as he’ll just heal everything, but the injury to his pride will be more than enough.

“I’ll kill you!” Mindsink spits the words out as he sees what I did to his brother.

“Will you?” I hold my head up high and stare down my nose at him. Their one advantage is teamwork. Something I broke when I kicked Timespire in the balls.

“Get her,” Timespire grunts, I can still see he’s a threat, although that’s only because of his rage.

Rage has a way of backfiring and I can think of one suc-

Pain… a lot of pain. It’s shooting down my back and stomach. I look down to see a smoking hole in the ground below me. I’m bleeding, How… how did this happen? Mindsink has a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks at me. I look down my back and confirm what I already know; I was just shot in the back.

My gaze follows the rock wall behind me. I see my attacker up on a ledge. While I can’t make out her full form, I don’t need to. With the white of her fangs and her teal eyes staring at me, it could be no one else. She’s grinning at me, judging me, and laughing at me all at the same time.

“Didn’t I teach you to be wary of unexpected attacks, dear daughter? I guess you didn’t take my lesson to heart. I’m sure your uncles will be more than willing to teach it to you as many times as you need. Mindsink, Timespire, make it stick this time.”

I feel my knees buckle and I fall to the floor. I’m already healing but the damage I took is not what scares me.

“Pretty, pretty feathers.”

I look back to see Mindsink glaring at me. The look in his eye speaks of the damage he wants to cause. A shadow spear forms in the ground as he starts walking to my right wing.

“I’m going to carve my name into your flesh,” Timespire growls as he makes his way back to his hooves. That’s what scares me.

“Let me take her feathers. She won’t miss them,” Mindsink smiles evilly at me as his spear shoots up into my wing, forcing it to stay in place as he walks closer.

The pain shoots through my wing. I know he made it to hurt, I know his spear sent barbs of its own along the veins running the length of my wing, but I know not to scream, not this early. It would only encourage them at this point.

“Who say’s we both can’t have our fun at the same time, brother?” Timespire growls as he stumbles over. His own magic is already starting to go to work. I can see rocks growing and shrinking next to me. He’s forcing them to rub together. He… he wants to create a fire.

I know what he wants to do, he wants to brand me.

“No!” Nightmare Moon shouts, I see her glaring at him. “You will not brand my daughter. I’m the only one allowed to partake in such a pleasurable act!”

She smiles at me; there is a flash in her eyes that makes me audibly gulp. “Ohh... seems like she’s finally in the spirit, she finally understands fear. Let’s nurture that feeling, shall we?”

I hate them; I hate all three of them. That hatred only builds when I feel three more shadow spears impale themselves in my other wing and my front two hooves. They lift as one and crucify me against the rock wall directly behind me. I scream as Mindsink pulls out a mouthful of my feathers and uses them help start the fire.

With the help of my feathers, Timespire finally manages to create that fire. He levitates it to mom. She catches it with her magical grip and smiles as she leans in close to me. I try to look away, but she gives a lick over my cheek as the fire forms a shape in her magic.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she slams it down on my flank. The next thing I feel is pain, the next thing I smell is burnt flesh and fur.

“You’re my daughter? Disgusting, I can’t wait to leave and be rid of you,” she looks down at my flank. “But at least now you’re properly decorated.”

As I feel her twist the brand back and forth, the pain becomes blackness, my vision is gone, and my body is on fire. As my mom burns a brand of the crescent moon over my cutie mark, I’m falling, I’m falling into a never ending abyss of pain that I know I will not wake from.

I’m about to die. I welcome it, even death would be better than this fate.

I’ll come back for you!

No, I won’t give up, not yet.

Tartarus

“Ten minutes,” I say as I look at the watch upon my hoof. I cannot believe it. After a month of pining back and forth in Canterlot, being miserable, wishing more than anything that I could manage to find some way back here to find her, vowing to myself that I will return here, and then succeeding, I’ve spent the first ten minutes sitting on my flank with no clue what to do.

I felt like such a grown-up. I made a vow, I promised myself that come what may I’d come back for her. What a joke that was. I realize now that big words don’t make me a stallion. Even this, even everything I did that led me here, all of it, it’s all nothing more than words. It’s what I do now that matters. None of what I did before counts unless I actually find her.

I just don’t know how I can.

“I really should’ve thought this through,” I say to nopony in particular. I feel so dumb. I planned out every detail I could think of on how to get here, and now that I’m here I have no idea what to do.

Mom would kill me if she could see me now, for more reasons than one. The thought almost causes me to laugh, almost.

I stand up on my four hooves and sigh. Sitting around isn’t going to do me any good. I need to pick a direction and start looking. Randomly bumbling around Tartarus is a bad idea on a good day, and this is not a good day, but what choice do I have?

I look around again. In one direction there’s nothing but black hills as far as I can see. I think that’s where they used to keep the more dangerous prisoners. Everywhere else I look is simply grey.

I arbitrarily assign the direction of the black hills as north. I have no idea if that really is north, or if a north could even be said to exist in a place like this, but it’s better to have some landmark than nothing.

I refrain from patting myself on the back just yet. There’s nothing to celebrate, all I did was affix an arbitrary direction to the only landmark I can see. Woopty doo!

On the plus side, I can eliminate heading in that direction. Last month when I came to before leaving this place I didn’t exactly take the time to look around; however, I did see out the castle’s windows more than once. There were no black hills anywhere close by. I could see them, but they were far in the distance.

Thinking about those times hurts but I have to do this right now. I remember seeing them but they were always so far away. I just can’t focus though. A dark-blue pegasus keeps jumping in my thoughts.

Dammit Nighttide, why didn’t I spend more time with you when I had the chance?

I shake my head clear. Thinking about her is not what I need to do; I need to pick a direction and go. I know that the black hills were far away and that their angle wasn’t too sharp so that means I need to head south. Well, in some direction south. True my destination could be north beyond the hills, but if that’s the case she’s too far away, I’d never reach her. So I have no choice but to write that off.

Of course that still leads which southern direction to go. Do I go southeast, southwest, due south, or somewhere between them?

I place my saddlebags down and pull out a water bottle. Placing it on the ground I spin it. After all, when it comes down to chance, it’s sometimes best to let chance decide for you.

Chance hates me. My first two spins have it pointing north and northwest. The third one has it pointing northeast, and finally, on the fourth try I get one going some other direction. It wants me to go southeast.

There’s truly no reason I can think of to go in any other direction. My memories of those times are crappy at best, and besides, it’s not like I spent a long time looking out the windows. When I did see the mountains they were almost always in cursory glances that will not help me right now.

I smile when I place the bottle water back in my bag and start walking. Every time I try to think back to those times I always end up picturing Nighttide. I see her walking the hallways of Tartarus’s Castle with a sad look on her muzzle, I see her perking up when she sees me, and I see the look of heartbreak when I turn my nose up at her.

I felt so damn self-righteous then. Like I was some big stallion for making her suffer like that. What a joke. I’d give all four hooves to be able to take it back, to simply be able to talk to her again.

Shimmering Night actually asked me if she’s worth it, if she’s worth sacrificing my life for. The thought makes me laugh; it actually implies that I feel like my life might be worth hers. Right now I’d give my life for a kiss, if by spending it I could rescue her from this, I’d say I got way more than it’s worth.

I find myself closing my eyes and picturing her. I’ve known Nighttide for eight years now, for eight years we were the best of friends, she went with me on camping trips, to the fairgrounds, carnivals, and even on my first visit to the Crystal Empire. Well, the first one I can remember anyway.

I know what Red told me, I know he told me that she was under orders to do it all, and I also know it’s the truth. She was under orders to make me fall for her, and she tried, boy did she try. But… but at some point she fell for me instead. His plan was an utter failure and a complete success all at the same time.

I’ll never know what she sees in me or why she loves me, but I don’t need to know why, all I need to know is that she does. Mom once told me not to get bogged down with details, to just focus on the facts.

Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard; impressive considering she always hated egghead stuff.

Nighttide loves me and I think… no, I know that I love her too. I love her, I need her, and I want her by my side. From now until the stars turn cold.

That realization makes me smile and that smile causes me to blink my thoughts clear. I have no idea how long I’ve been walking. The landscape hasn’t really changed but it’s a bad idea to lose track of yourself when you have a time limit. I check my watch and see that I’ve been walking for about twenty minutes now. Using this pause I look around to check my bearings, just to make sure I’m not walking in a big circle thinking about her.

That’s when I notice something strange, the black hills are back and to my right, and not to my left. The bottle told me to go southeast, yet while I was thinking about her my hooves took me southwest.

I’d lose far too much time if I backtracked to go southeast now and if I just went southeast from this position I may not be able to find my way back. I shake it off; it was an arbitrary direction anyway. The bottle told me to go southeast but my hooves took me southwest. I suppose if I should put my trust in something it should be myself.

“I’m coming for you,” I say the words as I stand back up and keep walking. They’re more to motivate myself than in any hope that she’ll actually hear them.

My flank still hurts as I sit in my father’s throne room. He just finished telling us that my mom is no more, that she was taken from us by Princess Luna. A large part of me is glad, fuck that bitch.

What does surprise me is when I see the smallest tear fall from his eye.

“So what now?” Timespire asks.

My ire rises as he speaks. I want to paint the walls with his blood. Between what Mindsink, mom, and he did to me they deserve nothing less.

“Problem, daughter?” my father asks.

“No, sir,” I say as I look away. I know what he saw; I let my emotions get the best of me. My lips were pulled back and my fangs were showing. I mentally kick myself for such an open display of emotions.

They want me to lose it; they want me to do something stupid, to act without thinking. That’s how I ended up with a half healed over brand on my flank, that’s how I had all my feathers plucked out one at a time in the most painful way imaginable.

True, my feathers were back, and the scar on my flank was healing, albeit slowly because of the magic my mom used, but it was healing all the same. Still, every time I sit down upon it, every time I put pressure upon it, I was reminded about what they did.

I’m used to the treatment; it has been like this for four-hundred years now. They do something like this to me every year on the anniversary of my birth as a way to help me keep track. It’s just the way things are. The strong prey upon the weak, if I don’t like it my only option is to get stronger.

My mother’s words still ring true in my ears.

Timespire and Mindsink are both grinning at me. Together the two have violated my body in almost every way imaginable. Well, every way but one. My father drew the line at them raping me, although he says it’s only because he doesn’t want any more company.

One mistake was enough.

It’s almost enough to make me think he actually cares.

Yeah... right.

“What do we do now?” Timespire repeated his question.

“There’s nothing we can do,” I look up at that, my father is slumped back on his makeshift throne, he looks… defeated, almost lonely.

I doubt he knows what that really feels like. I do.

“So… that’s it?” Mindsink speaks up; I glance over to see him glaring at my father in disbelief. “After all that we failed?”

“Yes,” my father states his answer like it is the dumbest question on the moon.

It kind of is.

“No! I refuse to give up, I refuse to believe that after a thousand years’ planning we ju-” Mindsink’s rant was cut off by a spike shooting up through his lower jaw. I laugh at that, even a dullard like him should be able to see that my father is in no mood to put up with his shit right now.

I seriously doubt he loves my mother, but he obviously misses her. Or maybe he’s just pissed that she failed? Either way, it’s a really stupid time to get on his bad side.

“Something funny, daughter?” I look up to see him glaring at me.

“No sir,” I do my best to keep the fear out of my voice. I fail.

“Is that so? Shame, I could use a laugh right now. Why don’t you and Timespire give me that? I do believe the moon creatures are getting a little... uppity. Timespire, do something to help them expend their energy.”

My eyes grow wide at that. This is Timespire’s favorite game with me. He’s going to regress me until I’m a foal and throw me out for the moon creatures to chance. I turn and glare at him; my newly grown feathers extend out.

He can try but I’ll kick his flank in.

“Nighttide,” the voice chills me to the core. I look over to see a scowl on my father’s face. “I don’t recall giving you a choice.”

“I don’t recall giving a buck!” I shout back, glaring at Timespire.

Timespire leaps for me, he’s simply trying to get in range. Sixty three hooves, I’ve learned that one the hard way. I leap back and into the air, from each feather tip I shoot out a shadow spear, intent on ending this quickly.

If I can end this quickly he can’t regress me, no matter what my father says.

The look on his face is priceless. How I wish I had a way to capture that look and post it over my bed. I’d masturbate to it every night if I could. Never before have I unleashed this much power. I’ve been biding my time, savoring the moment so to speak.

Now… now it’s his turn to know fear.

He’s panicking as he forces his power to the forefront. He had been planning to regress me. If he kept to that he might have stopped my attack, but in his haste I can see his cutie mark starting to spin the other way.

Just as I planned; the fear in his eyes tells me what I already know. True, he can control the time of anything in his range, but you can’t defend against what you can’t respond to. At this range, with this much power poured into my attack, he doesn’t have a hope in all of Tartarus to stop it.

“Buck all four of you!” I shout out. This is my moment; this is when I show them all I’m not the weak little mare they take me for. I’m four-hundred years old; too damn old to be playing these bucking games. Their whipping mare is gone.

My tormentor will finally know the true definition of the word. He will finally understand that I’m not the weak one here, he is.

The smile on my face fades as I see every one of my spears shatter upon a shimmering red energy shield. Timespire sees it too. I can tell it’s not his doing, he doesn’t have such power. Besides, even if he did he wouldn’t be wearing the same expression on his face that I am.

We’re both shocked.

“What part of you don’t have a choice did you miss out on?”

The voice pierces my ears like a dagger. I hold my hooves over them and a cry escapes my lips. I pushed it too far with that last comment, my father decided to take matters into his own hooves.

I feel it then, my bones starting to get smaller, and the muscles in my body starting to contort as they’re forced to shrink to my new size. I should have known Timespire would use this small opening to his advantage.

It’s what I would’ve done.

He’s dragging it out, of course he would. Decades fall off my frame at a time. I’m grunting in pain as my body continues to regress. I’m trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me hurt, I fail, but I still try.

I fall to the ground, the fall hurt, but it’s nothing compared to what my body feels like it’s going through. It’s pain, unimaginable pain. I’ve gotten used to a lot over the years, but no matter how many times I experience it, pain is just not on that list.

The tears are falling freely now. I can’t take it, I can’t; I’m going to cry ou-

It stops. My body still feels like it’s on fire, but the pain stops. I open my eyes, trying to blink them clear of the tears I’ve shed. It doesn't work. Everything is covered by a haze of tears and everything… everything is simply, bigger.

“I think I’ve had enough of your attitude, dear daughter,” my father says. I was almost his size fully grown; now he’s a giant amongst giants. I’m afraid, I can’t help it, he scares me; he’s always scared me.

“Mindsink, I think I’d like a happy daughter that misses her mommy,” he says before turning back to his throne. “Afterwards, you can throw her to the garbage, Timespire. I think a few days of being their chew toy will do her wonders.”

“Don’t you remember?” I tense up as I hear his voice; it’s dry and raspy from still trying to heal. He must have gotten down from the spike at some point during all of this. “Don’t you remember just how much you loved your mommy?”

…

I’m out in the cold, alone, and scared. Where’s my mom? Where is she? She always comes and gets me when I’m out here, she just… she must not know I’m here yet. I huddle up for warmth. Looking up I can see the world in the sky. I’m on the moon’s surface; I’m all by myself.

I’ve never been out here by myself; I’m always with my mom. She… she looks out for me.

Everything’s dark. It feels so oppressive, so lonely, and so scary. My ears twitch as I hear something approach from behind me. Looking back I see a strange looking creature approach, It’s made of shadows and smoke, teeth sharp as spears.

It’s a moon native. They… they were touched by mom’s power, darkened by it. She… she normally fights them off for me. I’m too young right now, Timespire fought me and I was regressed, I can’t fight. I need… I need her.

It lunges at me, trying to sink its teeth into my flesh. I jump forward with a yelp and run. My wings are too small to fly, I gotta run, I gotta hide, I gott-

There are two more of them in front of me. I come to a halt right before I run into one.

“Mommy!” I cry out as the one behind me lunges again. I feel its teeth sink into my hind legs. It hurts, it hurts so much.

The two in front need no further invite. They lunge out and attack me. I feel one sink his teeth into my wing and rip it off. It hurts; it hurts so much, I can’t stand it.

The last one goes for my throat. He doesn’t pull, rather he just chews. I can’t think anymore, I can’t process anything but the pain as these creatures start gnawing on my body.

My mom’s not coming; she’s not going to save me. I should just give up, death would hurt less.

I’m coming for you,

The foreign thought gives me the smallest ray of hope right before I black out from pain.

“It’s a bucking miracle!” I shout the words as I gallop down the hill. Somehow, through some stupid stroke of luck, I found it. Directly in front of me are the remains of Tartarus’s Castle. The thing is in ruin. A full half of the castle has collapsed in upon itself thanks to the chasm that Radiant’s last attack caused.

I wish I had been there, from what he told us, when his mom died it released Eros, the God of Love. She granted him the power necessary to release such an attack. Looking at the destruction it caused, it must have been epic.

Of course… that doesn’t make my job any easier. I have to search through that destruction and try and find my… my love.

She’s here, I don’t know how I know, I don’t know why I know, I just know.

Beep, beep, beep.

My watch starts beeping at me. I look down at it, shocked that my first hour is already up. It took me an hour to get here, add in an hour back, and that only leaves me an hour to search.

I hate this bucking watch.

I know I can’t search a tenth of this mess in that amount of time. Heck, I can’t search a tenth of a tenth of this mess in that amount of time. However, right now, I just don’t care. I found my way into Tartarus, I found Tartarus’s Castle, and I can find Nighttide.

'Oooooooooooooooowhoo!!'

The howl in the distance freezes the blood in my veins. That’s… that’s a pack howl. I know that sound; mom taught me all about the creatures that roam the Everfree Forest. I know they’re not the same creatures from the Everfree, but many different types of creatures use that howl. It almost always means the same thing, that sound means they’re going to attack, or that they’ve found food.

It’s from too far away to be about me.

“NIghttide!” the word forces itself from my lungs, up my throat, and out my lips. I have no evidence it’s about her, I just… I just know. I know it like I know that she’s still alive. Sprinting, I take off in the direction of the noise. I don’t care if they see me, I don’t care if they attack me as one huge pack, I just care that I have to get to her before they do.

My breathing becomes labored, my chest, and my legs hurt. I push through it, I push as hard as I can, forcing myself to go the distance. As my muscles start burning it becomes that much more of a challenge.

I don’t care; I have to make it before they surround her. Just up the slope, just up the last hill, and I should be able to see her again. That’s all the motivation I need to move mountains, much less to clear a stupid hill.

I clear the hill; with one look down the other side I gasp in horror as I see that I’m too late.

Author's Note

While our nightmares may be scary, nothing is more terrifying than reality.

A Promise Kept

Chapter three: A Promise Kept

Tartarus

The sight that greets me when I reach the top of the hill feels me with sorrow and rage the likes of which I’ve never known before. There are three of them. Three large red wolves that are chowing down upon a dark-blue and red pegasus’s body. I could only just recognize her sky-blue mane due to the blood and dirt that covered it. One of them is chewing on her hind leg, another has her dismembered wing in its mouth, and the last is gnawing upon her throat.

As I take in the display, anger becomes me. When the one chewing on her hind leg starts twisting it, I scream and jump forwards. Something inside me is yelling at me that it’s suicide, but that part is but a whisper blowing into a hurricane, a hurricane that fills me with strength, rage, and blind passion.

I’ll save her or die trying.

One of them turns towards me a second before I reach him. My hoof connects with his jaw, sending him careening backwards. The action surprises the pack as well as me.

I had no idea how strong I could be.

As the one on her hind leg lets go of Nighttide and approaches me, I steal a glance at her body. For a moment, I think I can see her chest rise and fall; it’s more than enough to give me strength.

“You’ll never touch her again!” I shout before jumping forward.

I aim my next hit at the one I just put on the ground. When my hoof connects with its jaw I hear some ugly cracking, then an awful howl from him. Now I have the undivided attention of the entire pack as they start to surround me, I know what’s going on; pack mentality diverts their attention to the greatest threat. That just became me.

While the one I hit tries to nurse its lower jaw, the others approach me slowly with glares on their muzzles. I should feel fear, I should be afraid, terrified even, but there’s only anger, an anger that is empowering me with confidence and strength I never knew I had. The first one leaps at me but I see him coming, it’s easy enough to avoid his attack with a quick jump to the left. As an answer back I buck out with my hind legs just as he lands at the spot I vacated, my legs connect on his stomach and knock him over onto his side.

It amazes me how easy it is. I’m not thinking, simply reacting. In much the same way in which my body led me here, it’s almost as if it’s acting on its own.

I wonder if I could take Vela right now?

That rogue thought costs me. When I hit the second, the third has time to come closer. With a howl he reaches out and his claw and strikes my back right hoof. Pain is wavering through me, numbing some of the anger, but not enough.

Nowhere near enough.

I roll upon my side and leap up, almost as if I’m exploding into the air with the force of a party cannon going off. My head impacts his chest, winding the hound.

“Leave her alone!” I shout the words. My plan is simple; they’re only here because they think Nighttide is easy prey, that she’s an easy meal. I don’t have to kill them; I just have to make the energy of fighting for her more than she’s worth.

At the moment I’m far away from that. The one that’s still nursing his lower jaw comes closer. I can see him, but he seems to be waiting for something. I recognize it too late. They form a triangle, attacking me from three separate directions, leaving me no space to flee.

For a short time I feel panic. When they leap forward I do the first that comes into my mind. I drop down onto the ground, making myself as small as I can. The next thing I hear is an ugly sound as the hounds impact over me in a howl of pain. Still, one of them manages to cut into my already wounded leg, sending the pain deeper into my body. My body answers in reflex, bucking out and breaking something important. While the other hellhounds rise, glaring at me, the one I hit lies still on the ground.

One down, I smile at that. There are only two left, the one with the broken jaw and the last, while he’s uninjured, I can see that he’s growing cautious, they both are. My body starts to act on its own. I know against normal wolves I should be submissive, but I cannot, I have somepony I have to save.

Somepony I will save.

My body acts without thought; I stand to my full height. I push my chest forward, my head is held high. I glare at them with the look of somepony that sees their opponents only in contempt. I forget the pain in my leg, pain is temporary, simply weakness leaving the body. I charge the hound with the broken jaw, a battle cry on my lips.

The action is as unexpected as it is stupid. I know, logically, I’m these things next meal. I’m what they hunt, their food source.

Right this second I couldn’t give a buck less about logic. My heart wills me to do this; it wants me to do this. My body obeys and my brain could take a flying leap off a cliff for all I really care.

The uninjured one looks scared, good. He’s the biggest threat, but I may not have to attack him. The one with the broken jaw lunges at me. He swipes out with a claw across my muzzle. It impacts; a splash of blood stings my eye. I know from experience that it’s going to leave a nasty scar.

I don’t care; it’s not my first scar.

I slam shoulder first into the hound. We’re about equally sized, but I have the greater momentum on my side. I feel a bruise develop on my shoulder and something break.

A smile dawns upon my lips as I realize that the breaking sensation wasn’t from me. I press all four hooves back to the ground, drawing myself back to my full height. It hurts, my shoulder hurts, my hind leg hurts, and my muzzle burns. I don’t care; I don’t care in the slightest.

“Come on!” I shout at the uninjured one. It’s for show, I know that much at least. If he attacked, I may be able to fight him off, but he’d get his pound of flesh. However, I can picture things from his point of view. He’s a pack animal and his entire pack was just defeated.

As if to emphasize this point I slam a hoof down on the hound that’s lying on the ground. There’s a rather satisfying howl of pain from that hound. I’m careful, I don’t stay in range for too long, I remove my hoof before he can swipe at me.

The hound in front of me has fear on his face. I see it and smile. He just needs one more push and he’ll run. I puff out my chest as far as it will go and do the dumbest thing I’ve done today, even dumber than coming into Tartarus all by myself. I start walking towards him.

“You want an easy meal? Why don’t you try me on?” I don’t shout, there’s no need. I stay calm; I let the weight of my words speak louder than shouting ever could.

“I’ll break every bone in your body.”

That did it. The hound lets out one final cry and takes off. The one behind me sees his partner leave and starts scampering away. With one quick look at the third one I see where I had hit it. Or more precisely, I see the damage I caused. Somehow, my back hooves managed to strike it on the back of its head.

I don’t give it a second’s thought. I know I killed it, I know that much, but I just don’t care. Something… something else matters far more to me right now.

“Nighttide!” I yell as I start galloping to her.

Her dark-blue body has another color added to it: Red. Blood red.

I don’t even feel my own wounds anymore. My leg, my shoulder, my muzzle, it’s almost like somepony injected them with morphine, or like they were never hurt to begin with. I slide to a stop right next to her; she’s… she’s….

“NO!”

The shout leaves my muzzle on its own violation. I rip the saddlebags from my back, noting with some disdain that one of the hounds must have scored a lucky blow on them during our fight.

My muzzle digs into them; I pull out some gauze and do what I can for her. I… I’ve never seen this much blood, I… I don’t even know where to begin. I… I...

Did you come this far just to fail now? What about your promise?

The thought is at once mine and not mine. My hooves start working on their own volition, they start bandaging her wing, her hooves, and everywhere else she’s bleeding from. “I came back for you,” I finish my promise. “I came back for you,” I say again.

I’ve come too far to fail now. Grabbing some of the bandages and the spray that should help her avoid infections, I look over her wounds. They are countless and I’m not exactly trained in first-aid, so I have no clue where to start, or any clue which wound I should treat first.

That’s not what she needs; she needs a reason to live.

The thought is at once an anathema to me and makes all the sense in the world. It causes my hooves to stop moving, my brain to stop thinking. It’s ridiculous, stupid, and yet I cannot fault its logic. I pick her up in my hooves and hold her. Her face, I softly move a loose strand of her sky-blue mane from her face.

“I came back for you,” I sob the words as tears start falling from my eyes, they land on her muzzle. “I came back for you. Just like I promised you I would, because… because I love you, Nighttide.”

Thump, thump.

I felt it, or at least I swear I did. Placing her chest to my ear, I strain to listen.

You never realize just how noisy the world can be until you’re trying to hear something soft, something quite.

Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, and hours became days. Time is meaningless, I know I heard it, I know I felt it. I… I just can’t hear it again.

Thump, thump.

My heart skips a beat as her heart beats again.

“Please, Nighttide. I’m here as I promised. Please don’t leave me hanging now. I need you,” I whisper, gently nuzzling her. I can feel it now, the soft beat of an overworked heart. It’s pumping with more regularity now.

When I feel the touch of her breath upon my fur my smile almost splits my muzzle in half. I can feel her breathing; her chest is softly moving in and out, in and out. It’s the greatest feeling in the world.

I pull her muzzle away from my own and expect to see her eyes staring at me or at the very least her kind smile.

There’s… there’s nothing. Her eyes are shut; she’s alive, just not awake. My sister’s words come back to me; she’s been down here for four days, that’s four days without food and water. She needs fluids.

Once more I reach into my back and pull out a bag of IV fluids. I note with some dismay that one of the bags was torn open. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I see the needle at the end and cringe; I’ve never done anything like this before.

Thankfully, the instructions prove to be more than helpful and I’m done before I know it. The bag is positioned on her chest and I go back to bandaging what I did not get to already. It takes me a long time to clean, spray down, and cover all her wounds with the gauze, but fortunately the more heinous wounds are already starting to close on their own. I see that and smile, all she really needs is time.

Beep, beep, beep.

I look in shock at the watch as it marks the last hour. Considering that I needed one hour to find the place, it was time to head back or we’d miss the portal. It pisses me off; I rip the watch from my hoof and chuck it as far as I can. She needs time and time is the one thing I cannot give her.

It’s now or never.

Grunting, I pick her up and place her upon my back. She’s not the heaviest thing I’ve ever carried and it’s made easier by the fact that I do not retrieve the saddlebags, but still. She’s a fifteen year old mare, or at least her body is. It’s not an easy weight to bear.

Especially as the adrenaline leaves my body and my wounds pick now to remind me that I’m injured. My muzzle burns as the cut makes itself known, my shoulder hurts from the extra weight, and every step I take makes my back right hoof hurt that much more. I grind my teeth together as I ascend the hill.

The trail back is easy enough to follow. Whereas before I was going in an uncertain direction, this time I simply have to retrace my hoof prints. It’s slow going as the weight upon my back shifts, almost causing me to fall down. I know that if I place her down it will be that much harder to pick her back up. My best bet is to grin and bear it.

I follow my trail back, past the remains of the castle and start heading to the black mountains. It’s easier going only by the fact that I have a rough idea of where to go and a trail to follow. I start to mentally kick myself for throwing away the watch. It would be somewhat useful to know just how much time I had left, even if it would have added to my burden. There’s nothing I can do about it now, what’s done is done, or so they say anyway.

Each step is harder than the last. My body fights me every inch of the way. The pain from my back hoof grows as I take the next step, the step after that, and the step after that. I groan as I push through it. Right now it would take an act of God to get me to stop moving.

Or a badly placed rock.

My awareness of it comes after the fact. My body continues the grind forward, but my hoof hit the rock and stops. With the extra weight on my back I don’t have the slightest chance to correct.

My muzzle impacts the dirt followed soon after by the rest of my body. I start rolling down the hill as gravity asserts itself upon my frame. My shoulder stings with each and every tumble, I can feel the scar upon my muzzle rip back open and fresh blood start to pour out. My hind leg screams at me as it suffers under the fall.

However, right this second, I don’t give a damn about any of that. “Nighttide!” I scream as I see her body roll even farther than mine.

The IV bag is yanked from her form as she tumbles down the hill. I force myself back to my hooves, grunting as I try and place my weight on my back hoof. The pain lets me know I sprained it.

I push through it, forcing myself to chase after her. I leap into the air and catch her before she can get any further away from me, we’ve been apart for far, far too long. I never want to let her go again.

“I got you,” I say the words as I pull her closer to my breast. “I’ll never… never let you go again.” Tears fall freely now, staining her muzzle.

As I hold her in my hooves I start looking around. There’s… there’s nothing here, just nothing. The hoof prints I was following just stopped. I do laugh at that. Somehow, I lost the trail home, not that I had a chance in… well, Tartarus of continuing his journey, much less taking her with me.

“I’d never leave without you anyway,” I say to her form. I know I’m going to die here. There’s no way back now. I’ve lost the trail home and without that portal it'll be impossible to make it home.

Oddly, I’m okay with that. I die keeping my promise; I die knowing that I came back for her, that I found her, and that I told her how I felt. I lean down and steal the one thing I want more than anything else right now: A kiss.

Part of me, the more sappy part anyway, expects her to return it. I actually expect this to wake her up. Such things only happen in fairy tales. It was like kissing my own hoof, there was no pressure back, no feelings returned; no nothing.

Still, I enjoy it. If somepony were to ask me right now if this was worth it, if that one kiss was worth all of this, I’d say yes.

My ears twitch as I hear it, the one sound I never thought I’d ever hear again. Looking back, I see the reason why there were no more hoof prints to follow; because this is where I started the journey.

The noise of the portal opening up alerted me to that fact. Directly behind me I see a large purple oval portal open up in the world. Almost as if someone just tore this place a gigantic new one.

My grin does split my face open. Somehow, it worked; I found her and made it back in three hours.

“Taz, you’ve got seconds!” Night shouts from the other side of the portal. I see her now, her and… mom are on the other side. While Night looks like she wants to jump in the portal herself, mom looks calm about it. The only thing that could have completed her look would be if she wore her iconic pair of sunglasses.

With a herculean effort, I pull Nighttide’s body back upon my own. I smile and cry in equal measure as my body struggles under my wounds and the weight of Nighttide upon my back. I did it, my journey is done. Whatever is still wrong with her, they can fix it and me back in Canterlot.

She’s still here.

The thought is both unbidden and unwanted. I know it’s not my thought, I know that. Yet… yet I also know it’s the truth. I just… I just know. I know it with the same certainty that I knew she was still alive, still waiting on me to keep my promise.

Nighttide’s on my back, we’re about to walk through the portal together, but she’s still here. Her body is with me, but her mind is not. Her mind is still in Tartarus. If I left, if I took those next few hoof steps through the portal, I’d be leaving the part of her that counts the most. I’d be taking her body home, but I’d be leaving her here.

I just know.

The thought forces the last few tears I have to shed out of my eyes. I look up at my sister’s confused face. No doubt she wonders why I stopped walking forward. I see the slightest nod coming from mom. Ponies always underestimate her, they always assume she’s not intelligent, but I know the truth, she smarter than most, just in other ways.

“Taz, c’mon!” Shimmering Night shouts at me again. I flash her a warm smile and use my own ability to shut her portal. The last thing I see on her face is a look of horror as it closes.

The portal closes with finality to it. I hope she can forgive me for what I did. However, I made a promise and I intend to keep it. With the last of my strength I place Nighttide down upon the ground.

My body screams at me in protest but I’m not listening to it anymore. This is about something more than physical pain. This is about so much more.

“I promised you I’d come back for you, I promised you I wouldn’t leave without you, and I promised myself I’d take you from here, all of you. After all, why would I want to go back there if you’re still here?” I whisper the words into her mane as I laid down next to her and nuzzle into her mane and breath in deep of her scent. It’s a scent I can’t seem to place.

“He’s a slimy, rotten, arrogant, piece of shit!” I scream as I pace back and forth in my father’s new throne room.

“Ahh… is the little filly Nighttide mad?” Mindsink taunts me from his spot next to the throne.

“Mindsink, now is not the time!” I shout. “Please, give me a reason.”

“A reason to do what, you’re eight Nighttide, or did you forget?”

“Only because of him!”

“Timespire is acting upon orders, just as I do, and just as you do. Your father’s plan moves forward and we all have our roles to play in it.”

“Do you have any idea how wrong this is? I have to make a five year-old fall in love with me.”

“Seriously, you’re worked up over that?”

I pause in my pacing and glare at him, “Mindsink, I’ve never even felt that way before. How in the heck am I supposed to do this?”

He laughs a little at that. “I guess for beings in our position it would be somewhat difficult. Just… spend time with him, hang out with him, and get to know him. Take interest in the same things he likes.”

“So talk about a bunch of boring things that I don’t give a rat’s ass about?” I ask with another glare.

“In a way, yes. Learn to fake interest, Nighttide. Make him feel like the most important pony in the world when you’re around, simply because you always want to hear about him.”

“That doesn’t sound like love.”

“You were never ordered to fall in love with him, just to make him fall in love with you.”

I start pacing again, what he says rings of the truth, but still… “After what happened, he may not want to speak to me again.”

“No one said you didn’t have an uphill fight, Nighttide. Still, you’ve got time to make up the distance.”

“How much time?” I ask, getting to the crucible of all of this. “How long do I have to play this game with him?”

“Until he learns how to master his ability,” Mindsink says with a grin.

“That could take decades, or longer!” I shout.

“Like I said, you’ve got time.”

Fuming, I start pacing again.

“Tisk tisk, Nighttide. I’d figure you’d be happy to be out of the moon, this is the first time you’ve been down here after all. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you wanted to go back.”

Why would I want to go back there if you’re still here?

“The novelty of this place wore off six years ago, Mindsink. I’m only sticking around so I can get my mother back and get revenge on the one that stole her from me.”

“We all have our motivations for doing what we do. I find that revenge is the greatest motivator though,” he says with a smile on his face.

I growl, but say nothing.

“You really gotta start working on that, Nighttide.”

“Working on what?”

“The way you carry yourself. Up in the moon it was just the four of us; down here there is a certain… expectation for a mare, especially if you want to win over a little colt’s heart.”

“Go buck yourself, Mindsink.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

I paused and turn to him, fuming, “You wanna know what you can do with your help?”

His smile fades from his face at that. “I feel I must remind you of something, dear niece.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” I say with a condescending tone in my voice.

“You’re eight.”

Fear grips me as I take in what he means. The green pegasus spreads his wings and takes flight. I see him glaring at me, angrily, “You know dad will be mad if you kill me!” I shout.

“Who said anything about killing you?” he asks back. I feel a knot building in my stomach at that. He knows his limitations and will play to them. I see three spears shoot out from his body directly at me. Before this I could have dodged them; I could have avoided his attack. Now… now I cannot. They each impel themselves into my wings, forcing me to cry out as my body makes contact with the floor.

“Now, about this little thing known as respect, or maybe I should just send you back to the moon until you’re actually needed.”

Why would I want to go back there if you’re still here?

“Buck you in the ass, Mindsink!” I shout out in rage. It’s been years since I’ve last dueled any of them. I could normally hold my own, normally. This isn’t that though, this is a punishment for stepping out of line at the wrong time.

We both know it and he treats it that way.

“Such language, I guess I’ll just have to train my little niece better than that.” Another spear comes up, this one is not a point; it’s loose, almost like a rope.

I feel it before I hear it; It stings right across my flank with the speed only a Demigod is capable of. The crack of it fills my ears less than a second later. I was right; he cannot kill me, or hurt me in any serious way. Sadly, there are a lot of ways to hurt someone.

This was one of those ways. With my wings pinned to the floor he takes to spanking me. Each and every smack lands at a different angle across my flank. I cry out on the second one. I didn’t want to but I couldn’t stop. It hurts; it hurts worse than being branded by Timespire.

“I just want to go home!” I cry out the words.

Why would I want to go back there if you’re still here?

“But dear niece, don’t you know? Home is where your family is,” he whispers into my ear as another crack makes itself known.

It’s not his voice this time that makes me listen. There is something else, something far away, but I just can’t point it out at the moment. However, it is something familiar, something that warms me deep within my heart.

Why would I want to go back there if you’re still here?

The question echoes in my heart, in my soul. I recognize it, even over my uncle’s new punishment. It makes me smile; I smile despite the stinging in my wings and upon my flank. I know the voice of the speaker too. It’s that five year-old colt, yet different. His voice is aged, almost as if he’s been through the ringer and back

It makes me laugh; it fills me with warmth the likes of which I’ve never known. I don’t know why, but hearing that little colt say something like that, even if it’s just in my mind. I… I don’t want to go home, I want to stay here.

“I don’t want to go,” I say the phrase as another smack touches down. The realization of what those words mean causes my eyes to pop open.

I gasp at my new surroundings. The throne room is gone, Mindsink is gone. The pain is still there but not on my flank, it’s on my hoof, chest, and wing. My senses are flooded with different sights and smells. Yet, off all of them, I can only focus on one; the sense of touch.

There’s a pony nuzzling into my mane. One I know, one I could never forget in a million years.

If this is a dream, please let me never wake up.

“Taz,” I say the word as I nuzzle back. I have no idea how he got here, or for that matter, where in Tartarus we are. All that matters is that he’s holding me.

“Nighttide,” he slowly whispers my name as if it were all a dream. Tears are staining his muzzle as he gives me a gaze that warms me in my soul.

“You came back for me,” I cry, I cry harder than I’ve ever cried before, “You… you came back, you didn’t leave me here,” I’m sobbing like a newborn foal and I don’t care.

“Of course I came back for you. I promised it and I keep my promises,” he softly answers as he raises a hoof to wipe my tears away.

It’s a fool’s effort, for every tear he wipes away, three more fall. I don’t care, somehow, despite my weariness, I leap on him. I wrap him in my hooves and bury my muzzle into his mane. “I love you, Taz,” the words leave my muzzle before I can stop them. Almost as if they simply demanded to be set free.

My heart sinks when there is no reply. I can feel him breathing in and out, I can feel his heart racing in his chest, but he doesn’t say anything. I wish he’d wrap his hooves around me, I wish he’d say the words, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t do anything.

Not answering is an answer in its own right.

I pull back. I know how he feels, he told me by not telling me.

A hoof stops me from getting any further away, he grabs me on the back of my head and forces my muzzle to his, our lips connect. Stunned, I’m doing nothing for several seconds before I realize what he did. Closing my eyes, I press in, enjoying the kiss to the fullest.

It’s my first kiss.

I know what it means, I can feel it, I can feel everything he does all in that one action. It’s like his mouth is a funnel in which he pours his very being. I have no idea if I’m good or bad, if I suck or if I’m a great kisser. I only try and return the favor. I press back with all the intensity and passion I can. If I can give him a tenth of a tenth of my feelings right now, I know I’ll have returned the favor.

Far, far too soon for my liking, it stops. I open my eyes to see his magenta eyes looking directly into my own. With disappointment that such a wonderful thing had to come to an end, I pull back, only to be stopped again by his hoof.

“I love you too, Nighttide.”

It feels like my heart wants to jump out of my chest with all the force it can muster. Everything in me burns, but in a good way, it warms instead of hurts. New tears are starting to fall, but they’re tears of pure joy.

My body picks now to betray me. I collapse under the weight of my own frame; my front hooves are no longer able to hold me up. In all the excitement I never realized just how tired I was.

Taz catches me in his hooves. With the gentlest of touches, he lays me down upon the ground, my head is resting upon his lap. It’s only now that I notice the wounds upon his muzzle and hooves.

“You’re hurt,” I say weakly, trying to get up again; just to be stopped by his hoof pushing down upon my chest.

“It’s not important. Rest Nighttide, take your time,” he whispers, smiling.

He can’t fool me. It’s a sad smile, and how he spoke the last part makes it clear that something is really wrong.

“I’m scared,” I say as my eyes force themselves closed.

“What about?” he says, I hear it then, he’s in pain. His wounds are much more severe than he’s letting on. He’s trying to be strong, for me.

“That this is all a dream. That if I do fall asleep I may never wake up, or if I do that you won’t be here.”

“I’m here, Nighttide. I promise you I’ll still be here when you wake up,” he whispers, the confidence in his voice calms me down.

I force my eyes open one more time. I see him then, he’s… he’s happy. He’s holding me in his hooves, he’s lightly stroking my mane, and he’s happy. He’s happy because he’s able to hold me again. I raise my right hoof in an effort to get his attention. He notices and grabs it in his own.

He smiles before saying, “Rest, I’ll be here when you wake up. After all, where else would I rather be than right by your side?”

One more tear falls from my eye as sleep finally claims me.

Author's Note

The true test of character is often not how far we will go to achieve our goals, but what we’re willing to give up to keep our promises.

A Promise Broken

Chapter 4 A Promise Broken

Tartarus

I’m trapped in Tartarus with no food, no water, and no hope of rescue. Yet, I couldn’t be happier. I feel… I feel content for the lack of a better word. I want for nothing right now; because I have everything I want right here in my hooves. The only thing that really matters to me right this second is the mare I’m holding as she sleeps.

Nighttide kicks in her sleep. I wonder if anypony ever told her that? I greet it with a smile each time she does it; her back left leg kicks out ever so slightly once in a while.

It’s cute.

Somehow, I doubt any of her so-called family ever took the time to notice it. It makes me angry to think about. The life she must have grown-up with, I cannot even imagine such a life.

I’m keeping one of my hooves upon her chest. I just want to make sure; I just want to know that her heart won’t stop on me because I become lax in my attention. It’s stupid, but it’s all I can do right now. With my other hoof I lightly stroke her mane, doing my best to try and keep it nice. She was never one to care all that much about her looks, but I like the way she wears her mane.

My body feels like it’s on fire. My back leg hurts from the wound the hounds dealt me and the pressure of her head laying on it. My muzzle stings when the false wind hits it in just the wrong way; however, the warmth of her lying upon me more than makes up for any minor inconvenience.

Taking liberties I probably shouldn’t, I lean down and stick my muzzle into her mane. Even with the dirt, sweat, blood, and grime she... she smells sweet, fruity, and floral. Almost like… like lilacs.

How did I never notice that before?

There’s a lot I never noticed before. The slight upward angle of her muzzle, the way her chest rises and falls when she breathes, and even the little way she moves her lips in her dream. I have no idea what she’s dreaming about or even if it’s a happy dream, but I hope it is. I hope she’s not dreaming about any of her old life, I hope… I hope she’s dreaming about me.

I feel a tear fall from my muzzle at that realization. I do, I truly do hope she’s dreaming about me. It’s then the responsibility I took upon my own hooves hits me, hard. I promised I’d take her away from Red and the others, I promised I’d give her the family she deserved, I promised I’d be there for her.

I’ve never had a pet, I’ve never had any real relationships, and Luna knows I’ve never had a foal. Yet, now… now I have something that requires even more responsibility than all of those combined. Nighttide isn’t some pet for my amusement, she isn’t a foal I helped conceive, she’s a mare. She’s a grown mare that I love. She’s older than me, far, far more experienced than me, and yet… yet she’s my responsibility. Just in a different way.

It’s my responsibility to make sure she goes to bed each night and wakes up each day with a smile on her face. It’s my responsibility to make her laugh and to be there for her when she cries. It’s my responsibility to make sure that she feels love.

My brain is screaming at me, telling me that I’m too young for this, it’s saying that I cannot possibly take on this sort of responsibility at only thirteen. Yet… yet I want to. I cannot explain it, not in any rational terms, but this feels right. I look forward to it, I look forward to her face being the first thing I see when I wake up each morning, and I look forward to kissing her goodnight each and every day. I know it’s going to be hard, I know we’re going to fight, we’re going to argue, but I also know that it’ll all be worth it.

“Mom’s going to be pissed,” I say to myself, chuckling as I try to imagine explaining all of this to her. How Nighttide is my love and we will live together. Odds are good that she’ll refuse that bit on principle alone, saying that it’ll be inappropriate for her thirteen year-old colt to share a room with a mare. I don’t care, she can’t stop me anyway. Nopony can see me if I don’t want them too.

She’ll either come to accept it or she won’t. Not really my hang up one way or another.

Worst case scenario I’ll just threaten that we’ll run away together. I doubt with having lost me for three months she’ll want to risk that again. The thought makes me smile and frown in equal measure. I don’t really want to put anypony through that again; however, for her, I will.

After all, I did promise her.

The smell of lilacs continues to permeate my nostrils. I feel her slightly tilt her head again, as if to give me a better position. Concern permeates me at that moment in fear that I might have woken her up. Lifting my head I see that I’m worrying for nothing, she’s still sleeping, just like before.

Although, now she’s smiling; it’s amazing to me how that one small facial gesture on her part can cause such feelings to stir in my chest. I now know she’s dreaming about me, the only time I’ve ever seen her smile like that is when she looks at me. I also know with that smile she’ll easily get everything she could ever want from me when we’re married.

Married...

They used to tease me about it, saying we will eventually get married and have a whole bunch of foals together. I wrote it off then… now, now I… I want it. I want her to be my wife; I want a whole bunch of little foals running around the palace, driving my sisters and brother nuts. Now that the thought is in my head, it’s all I want.

How is it everypony else saw it and I didn’t?

It doesn’t matter anyway; I’m foolishly picturing a life with her even though I know I’ll die here. Still, I cannot complain, I found her, I told her how I felt, and to top it all off, I got that kiss.

It was worth it.

The false wind picks up, stinging my face and forcing me to close my eyes. I hate it; I hate it because I cannot look at her anymore. I do what I can to protect her from the wind. She’s… she’s so peaceful right now; I don’t want to take that away from her. I risk one eye just to steal another glance. Her face is contorted in pain. That makes me mad; the wind is ruining her dream.

Just like that, it stops. I have no idea how wind even works down here. I was told by Red it was a false wind, he said that wind didn’t really exist here. I have no idea what’s making it then, or why it just stopped like that. In a futile effort, I look around to see if I can locate the source of whatever is causing it.

I see it then, it’s the largest hound I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s black with blood-red stripes running down its fur. It’s easily twice the size of Red. I expect it to howl out, to signal an attack order to its pack. Yet… yet it doesn't do any of that. It just sits down upon its haunches and stares at me, almost like its crimson eyes are trying to peer directly into my soul.

I should feel fear, I should be afraid, and yet I’m not. This hound, this creature is sizing me up. He’s not a mindless beast running on instinct, if that were the case he’d already be down for an easy meal. He’s thinking, considering, waiting; for what I don’t know.

I don’t really care either.

“You can try if you want, I’ll make sure you choke on my bones first,” I don’t shout the words; rather I simply say them with conviction, as if they were fact. He can have his next meal, but it will cost him his life in the attempt.

Why?

The question surprises me, I hear it, but I cannot pinpoint its location. It comes from everywhere and nowhere all at once, almost as if it were carried on the wind. The voice itself sounds ancient, yet ignorant at the same time.

I’m not the brightest crown in the box, but I know what he meant. “Because I love her, and I’ll kill anyone that tries to hurt her, regardless of the cost.”

The hound tilts its head in confusion at that, almost as if he simply didn’t understand the concept of what I mean. However, before he can say another world, a bright flash of pink energy temporarily blinds us both.

When I blink my eyes clear, I notice two things: The first was that the hound is gone. The second is the pony that now stands before me, the pony I never thought I’d see again: My aunt.

“Princess Cadance?”

Her form is not that of a normal pony, she’s ethereal in nature, almost as if she’s made of nothing but magic energy. I do my best to keep my own power in check; as so not to accidentally disperse her.

“How many times do I have to ask ponies just to call me Cadance?” she asks with a smile.

We all did it just because it always got a chuckle out of her.

“But you’re… you’re…” I can’t bring myself to say dead.

“Yes, I am.”

“Am I?” I ask, my hoof presses down just a little harder on Nighttide’s chest.

She shakes her head, “No, dear nephew, you’re not dead, or dying for that matter.”

“How are you here then?” the question comes out of my mouth, although I’m not sure if I truly want an answer.

“What, did you think somepony could break into Tartarus in a desperate bid to find their lost love and it wouldn’t get the attention of the God of Love?” The smile on her face warms my heart.

“Eros.”

“Eros. She couldn’t come herself, so she asked me to help you along your journey.”

“But… how? Magic doesn’t affect me.”

“Indeed, that is your birthright. However, even you are not beyond the touch of love. I think the mare in your hooves is proof enough of that.” I look down at Nighttide and smile at her words. “You see, when two souls love each other, they form a bond, such as my bond with you, or your bond with your parents. However, the strongest bonds, those are the ones formed with those you care for as deeply as you do Nighttide.”

“You lead me to her using those bonds…” The realization upsets me; I thought I did it on my own.

“No, I merely guided you on the path; every step you took was of your own power, your own choosing. No pony, not even a God can command you Taz, you know that. Everything you did; every step you took, every obstacle you overcame, it was all you, and it’s always been you. Everypony gets lost now and then, we all, even the greatest of us, need a little push in the right direction. What you did here today, what you did for her; it was an act of true love. I promise you it will live on forever. Eros will accept nothing less.”

“You’re telling me I impressed a God?” I laugh.

“Yes, you did.”

I stop laughing.

An awkward silence befalls us; each time I look up I see her smiling at me, somehow that just makes things worse. “I’m sorry,” I say the words out loud as I look down once more at the mare in my hooves.

“For what?” she asks, as if she didn’t know.

“I’m sorry I got you killed. Had I just…” fresh tears fall from my eyes; I thought I was out of tears to shed.

“Taz, my death was my own choosing, how many ponies get to say that? How many get to say that they got to pick their fate? Besides, I’m with my Shining again, I couldn’t be happier.”

“But you never would have…” I sob the words. I didn’t even know I blamed myself for her death until now.

“Enough of that, the past cannot be changed, Taz. I don’t blame you for what happened, your family doesn’t blame you, as we all know you made the best decision with the information you had on hoof. That’s all any of us can ask for. So tell me, if we don’t blame you, why do you blame yourself?”

“Because…” I feel like a toddler again, I should be a stallion now. Yet even after everything I did, everything I went though, that’s the best answer I can come up with.

I have no idea what it takes to be a stallion.

“Taz, my sweet nephew, you’ve taken on a whole new burden now, haven't you?”

I know what she’s talking about, the mare in my hooves. I can’t speak right now so I simply nod.

“Are you going to carry that burden? Are you going to live up to the promises you made to yourself and to her, regardless of where that leads you?”

Her words anger me; I glare at her as I reply, “Of course.”

“So how can you carry this new burden if you won’t let go of your old ones?”

I’m dumbfounded by that, “Just like that?”

“Just like that, let it go, Taz. Forgive yourself for the sins only you blame you for, live life for the future, for keeping your promises, not for past transgressions. She deserves your very best, don't you agree?”

There’s really only one answer I can give, “You’re right. Thank you, for coming here to tell me this I mean.”

“Oh, I didn’t come here to tell you this.”

“Then… why are you here?”

“I’m here to give you a way home. Things will be happening soon Taz, things your family will need you for, things they will need you both for. You can’t be stuck in a place like this while all that’s going on.”

“Just like that, you’re going to send me home?” I ask.

“Well, no. I’m going to heal her wounds.”

“I… I don’t understand; how will that get me home?”

“Who brought you here the first time?”

“She can open a portal,” I almost shout the words, almost.

“Indeed,” Cadance replies before walking over to the two of us, I see her reach down and touch noses with Nighttide. There’s no bright flash of light, but her injuries appear fully healed as soon as their noses come apart. Her missing wing is fully regrown at that touch.

“Treat my nephew well, Nighttide.” I hear Cadance whisper to the mare.

I look down at Nighttide’s face, somehow, despite everything, she didn’t awaken. The only noticeable change I can see is that her sleep seems even more peaceful. “Umm, Cadance?” I ask, unsure if I even should bring up the question on my mind.

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if I let her sleep, she looks so peaceful right now an-” A hoof cuts me off.

“That’s fine, but just don’t dilly dally too long when she does wake up,” Cadance says with a smile.

I run my hoof through Nighttide’s sky-blue mane one more time, now that the dirt and grime are gone; it feels better than silk in my hooves. I can’t help but smile like an idiot right now. It’s all too amazing to me.

A thought crosses my mind as I feel Cadance start to walk away. “Is there… is there anything I can do for you?” I look up just in time to see her stop.

She turns her head to look back and ask, “What do you mean?”

“You’ve… you’ve done so much for me. What can I do for you? Anything you’d like to tell Radiant, or the twins? I can take a message to them.”

I hear her chuckle at that, “You always do that, don’t you? You always try and do what’s best for others. You get that from Twilight you know.”

“I guess.”

“Don’t guess, know. Now that you mention it, there are two things you can do for me. The first is to deliver a message to my son and his boys. Tell my son that it wasn’t his fault and that I don’t blame him, tell him I love him with all my heart. Oh and tell him that Firestar is proud of him. She sends her love and kisses. Please, also tell the boys that I will always be proud of them, that they should help their father, and believe in everything they do. For both of them, Flash and Blaze, the sky's the limit. We both love and miss them every day we’re apart.”

“And the second?”

“What’s going to happen will test you to your limits, Taz. Always remember what matters most. Keep your promise to her, do it for me, do it for her, and more importantly, do it for yourself.”

“Always.”

“And don’t worry; I’ll stick around to make sure he doesn’t bother you again.”

I knew she was talking about the large wolf creature from before. “What was he?”

“Someone I hope you will never meet again. Farewell dear nephew. You have found the greatest treasure there is in life, but always remember, it’s as strong as it is fragile. Protect it with all your heart and it will be your greatest shield in return.”

My eyes grow wide as I watch her energy start to dissolve in front of me. “Cadance?” There’s one more question I’d like to ask.

She looks at me one more time, her form almost insubstantial. “Yes?”

“What’s it like?” I ask, hoping she understands.

“That right there.” She gestures her muzzle down to the mare lying on me before her form is completely gone. I look down once more and see Nighttide sleeping so peacefully in my hooves. I smile as I understand what she means.

What I have now, it’s what she got after she died. Cadance gets to fall asleep next to the love of her life again.

In a way, I’m happy for her.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve brushed a hoof through her sky-blue mane. It could be hundreds of times, although more likely it’s been thousands of times. Each time still sends a slight shiver up my hoof at the touch of it. The feeling is something I just know that I’ll never get enough of.

I see her starting to stir, her mouth opens slightly wider, her front hoof starts to stretch out ever so slightly. Her heartbeat picks up just the slightest. It all tells me that this part of the journey is about done. When she wakes up, we’ll leave this place and move on to face the music.

I smile as I realize that I’m not scared. I’m really not, as long as she’s by my side it doesn’t matter to me.

Her eyelids open ever so slightly, revealing her sky-blue eyes that ever so perfectly match her mane. I look down upon them; I want my face to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up.

It is.

“Taz,” her voice is as sweet as honeysuckle. Too bad the same could not be said for her breath.

I pay it no mind.

“Hey Nighttide.”

She raises her head and our lips meet. I press back, careful not to overdo it as it would force her back down. When she parts that smile is back on her face. “I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a dream.”

“How do you know it wasn’t?” I ask.

“Because my dreams are never this nice.” The smile stays on her face, but it’s a sad smile.

“Well, we’ll just have to change that, won’t we?” I help her get up; she’s surprised when her hoof and wing don’t fight against her.

“What the?”

“Princess Cadance healed you last night; you should be back to normal now.” I start to help her remove the bandages. Part of me is surprised just how nice her coat is right now. A larger part of me is now curious, Nighttide has a dark blue coat with black spots, but I’ve never counted just how many spots she has. I kind ‘a wanna know now.

I think she senses this, as I remove the last of the bandages she presses her muzzle into my mane. I wrap a hoof around her in a comforting hug.

“Later…”

I don’t know if I head the last part, or if it was just my mind, I smile like a doofus anyway. “Think you can get us out of here?” I ask when we break apart.

She sits down on her haunches and frowns, “What? You don’t like being here with me?”

I smile, hobble over, and brush up against her. “I like being wherever you are, but I think we can pick a few better places to be, don’t you?” my tail running across her face punctuates my comment.

“You’re quite the tease, you know that?” she asks as the frown fades from her face only to be replaced with the smile I’ve grown to love.

“We need to get back, Cadance said that we shouldn’t dilly dally.”

“Well… yeah, I guess, but…” That catches my attention; I look over to see her running a hoof through the dirt.

“But what?”

“I can take us anywhere, do you want to go back to them?” she asks, “I mean, they’re not going to be happy with me. I… I don’t want to lose you, Taz. Not again, I don’t want them to take us away from each other.”

“Cadance said that I was going to be tested. She said that I should defend you and our love. I won’t run away and hide from my family. We’re going back Nighttide, I’m going to keep all my promises, and I will make sure that you will be safe and mine, forever.” I say, my voice strong and confident.

It’s her turn to brush up against me. I smell lilacs again and know that it’s the smell of her. “Is it that important that they accept us?” she asks.

“Yes, I want to give you the family you deserve, Nighttide. That means they need to accept you, I’ll make sure that they do. It’ll be alright, I promise.”

She stops walking and turns back to me with a small smile on her face. “Okay then, I’ll open a portal right to the throne room then, for you I’ll admit everything and face the music. I trust you Taz, if you say it’ll be alright, I believe it.”

I watch her turn back around and head for the nearest hill of sufficient size. With those same shadow spears that Mindsink and Timespire attacked Dayspring with, she carves out a large chunk of the hill leaving a flat surface. I stand up to hobble over to where she is, while Cadance might have healed her wounds, the same could not be said for mine. Nighttide notices this and walks over next to me.

“You’re hurt?” she asks, surprise in her voice.

“Part of the joys of being me.”

“How did Cadance get here anyway?”

“Oh, she’s dead. I think I forgot to tell you that.”

I see her mouth open and close a few times as she tries to think of what to say next. It doesn’t help. In the end she shuts her mouth and smiles with a look on her face that tells me I’ll have to explain that later.

She leads us over to the flat hill and I watch as shadows began tracking from her. They spread up to the flat of the hill, crisscrossing each other in an intricate pattern that I recognize all too well.

“You know, this is kind ‘a funny.”

“What?” she asks as we start to hobble us over to the portal.

“Isn’t this how we arrived in Tartarus?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” I hear a chuckle from her as she leads us through the portal and out of this hellhole.

The other side is the exact opposite of where we came from. We step out of the portal with my hoof around her and into the throne room of Celestia’s Palace. The sight there isn’t what I had pictured for my home coming.

Nighttide shivers and I can see why. Guards are standing before us, spears pointing in our direction. It seems as if they noticed our arrival. If they attack, I know I will not be able to protect her from the spears. I step in front of Nighttide, placing myself between her the spears, and my mother who is seemly in a rage at the sight of her.

“What in the name of Celestia is this about?” Twilight shouts, glaring at Nighttide, but I know her words are directed to me. The shock of it all seems to have overcome her desire to welcome me back, although I can still see the latter fighting for dominance in her mind.

That’s bad, it means she’s really pissed at Nighttide. However, it’s the spears I need to deal with first.

“Stand down.” I’ve never given a command before; I’ve never ordered ponies to do anything as I’ve never had a reason. However, I gave this one with all the authority I had. I can abide a lot, but not this direct threat against the mare I love.

I smile as the guards start to lower their spears. It doesn’t shock me that they listened, I am a Prince of Equestria after all.

“Spears stay up!” Twilight shouts to counteract my command and the guards just look confused now.

I look at her in disbelief, but before I can say anything, Rainbow stands up and glares at the guards. “Stand down. If you point your spears at my son again each one of you will get to know me better. I don’t need wings to protect my family.” It was no idle threat; However, it did earn her a glare from Twilight.

“What are you doing, Rainbow?” Twilight asks.

I see Rainbow eyeing all the guards as they, quite wisely, lower their spears and move out of the way. She turns to Twilight with that smile only she can pull off, “Our son went to Tartarus and back to retrieve her, don’t you think it’s at least worth hearing what she has to say?”

Twilight sighs before turning to the Captain of the Guard. “Get her to a doctor and have them look her over to make sure nothing is wrong.”

I’m relieved and hobble towards Rainbow who grips me with a crushing hug. It was a mistake, now that I’m just far enough from Nighttide, Twilight drops the other horseshoe.

“After the doctors check her over, I’ll hear what she has to say, and then the law will decide her fate.”

“Mom.” I glare at her.

“Taz, everypony is subject to the laws, even royalty.”

I shrug off Rainbow’s grip and start hobbling to Nighttide. I can feel my mom’s eyes burning through the back of my head at that. However, we’re not going to be separated again, I vow it.

She clears the distance even with all the watching eyes on her and hugs me. I breathe in deep of that scent again. “I’m going with her,” I mutter.

“What was that?” Twilight asks.

“I’m going with her,” I say the words again as we separate. Nighttide’s only reply was to smile at me.

“Taz, y-”

“It wasn’t a question,” I turn and say to mom. Never in my life have I talked to my mother like that, but right now, I just don’t care.

“It looks like he needs a doctor more than her right now anyway, Twi.” Rainbow replies as she walks over to her wife.

Twilight looks between me and Rainbow. I can literally see her head working before she groans out, “Fine! But if she’s found guilty he won’t be at her side in her cell. And that’s final!”

I’ve had enough, really enough. “And you think I’ll just live with that?!”

“I’m your mother; I only want the best for you.” I see mom’s expression change, now she’s showing worry and fear.

“You know what’s best for me?” I ask her before facing Nighttide.

I think she’s able to read it from my face. I lean in, and her lips meet me halfway. It’s not our longest or deepest kiss, but it carries on for a bit, passion flowing into it. I see my mother’s jaw hit the floor and I smile. However, before she can say anything, Rainbow speaks up.

“Taz, I saw you two through the portal. I think I can imagine the bond you two share. But please understand your mother’s position. She’s concerned about you, I’m sure that we can clear this all up soon. Go with Nighttide and let the doctors take a look at your wounds. Then, come back to me and we’ll talk about it, deal?”

I look at Nighttide and she nods, giving me a smile. I give her a last peck on her lips before turning back to my mother. “Deal.”

The guards surround us on either side, leading us out of the room and to the wing of the castle Twilight had changed to serve as a medical area. Looking at Nighttide walking at my side, I know that everything will be fine. It might take a bit, but everything will be fine.

I simply have to keep my promise, just like Cadance told me to.

They sent us here in order to check over Nighttide’s wounds, but the truth of the matter is she’s just fine; Cadance already took care of all her issues. It’s my wounds that require their attention. However, after the sixth time they try and give me some anesthesia to put me to sleep in order to stitch up my back hoof, and the sixth time I tell them I’ll buck their teeth out if they try, they quickly figure out that I’m not going under for any reason.

That being said, it still hurts like a bitch.

“Doc, can’t you be gentler?” Nighttide asks as she holds my hoof. I’m grunting through the pain, but honestly, I could take worse.

“Sorry, but this is how it’s done. If he’d just cooperate it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Just get it done,” I grunt out as the needle re-enters my skin.

“Just two more to go.”

That gives me little comfort.

Nighttide squeezes my hoof tighter as pain shoots through my hoof. It hurts, I can’t lie about that, but somehow, she makes it better. “You still sure about this, Taz?”

I smile at her, “I know when they hear the truth we’ll be able to be together. I don’t know why, but this is important to me. I want us to be together, but I want us to be together the right way. I don’t want to live my life with one eye looking behind me all the time, you know?”

“So, come what may, this is what you want?”

I squeeze her hoof back, harder. “You’re what I want, Nighttide. I made you a promise and I’ll keep it. My family will be yours, just like I am.”

“Just like I am,” she repeats back, that lovely smile on her face. I’ll never know how, but it just seems to make everything better.

“Okay, I’m done, now I’d normally subscribe bed rest, but I have a feeling you’d just ignore me anyway,” the doc says from behind me.

“You’ve got that right,” I say back. Part of me is shocked that he finished so quickly, I didn’t even feel him wrapping my leg in a bandage.

Also, when the hell did I get so snarky?

“As far as your other two injures, you’re going to have a nice scar across your muzzle, some cream should help reduce it if you apply it daily.”

“Scars are sexy,” Nighttide whispers into my ear. Yeah… the cream can take a flying leap out of the window after that. Besides, it’s not my first scar.

“Your shoulder is just bruised, keep to minimal activity and it should heal on its own.”

“So, they’re good to go?” the guard at the door asks.

“Well, no. She’s just fine, but he’s as good as I can get him right now,” the doc replies.

“Good enough. Come you two, Princess Twilight is awaiting you in the throne room.”

I grunt into the examination table, loudly. There are days when you feel like the word is simply against you, and then there are days you know it’s against you. Today is definitely one of the latter. That’s when I smell it again, lilacs. I feel her next; she’s nuzzling into my mane, lightly nibbling on my ear. “C’mon, the sooner we do this the sooner we can put it all behind us.”

It’s hard to argue with that logic. That being said, it hurts to stand up on my hooves right now. The doc shouts out once more, “You sure you don’t want me to at least numb it?!”

“I’m good!” I lie. Nighttide chuckles a little and soon wraps my front hoof around her neck. Together, we hobble back down the hallway and to the throne room. Just like on the way here, I notice that all the doors are shut and there are a few more guards than normal.

As if they’d actually be able to stop us if we tried anything. Shimming Night, maybe, assuming she’s having a good day, but that’s about it.

I hear them long before we reach the throne room. My moms are having an argument about what’s to come.

“Twilight, I know you’re trying to be protective, but there’s a limit!” Rainbow shouts.

“We don’t know her motives, Dash. This could all be some sort of trap!”

“I think you missed the kiss. Or did I miss something that you caught? Stop thinking in a box Twi, you’re way better than that and you know it. Heck, even I know it!”

“Rainbow, he’s only thirteen.”

“He’s acting more mature than any of us right now, Twi. He’s even made better decisions than any of us could claim to.”

I didn’t hear the next part, whatever mom said back must have been low. However, Rainbow’s reply was anything but.

“Twilight, on his own, he went into Tartarus, he found her, he overcame the Gods only know what, and he brought her back. He loves her, and I’m willing to bet she loves him.”

“You’d bet on that? If I were you I wouldn’t, Dash. I’m not sure this isn’t just another trick. How do we know that she won’t simply take him with her as soon as they’re both free to go?”

“If you keep that up, we’ll lose him because of our bickering!”

“He wouldn’t run away again.” I could tell there was hurt in her voice when she said that line.

“Twilight… I’m only going to say it once again. Stop thinking in a Luna damn box! I’m literally the featherbrain here against you but right now I feel way smarter than you in this situation. Let’s give it a chance. At least do it for me!”

“I trust that this will at least be an impartial hearing?” I say as we round the corner into the throne room. They both stare at me as if they were foals that just got caught red-hoofed in the cookie jar.

Twilight winces, “How much of this did you hear?”

I look at her with a deadpan expression. “Enough to tell you that I won’t leave her alone and I will fight against your decision if I have to.”

She looks taken aback by that, I don’t think she believes me though. “I promise that the law will be followed Taz, that’s all I can promise. Nighttide, step forward.”

It’s a dumb command; it assumes I’m not going to stay by her side. Together we both approach my parents on the thrones. I see Rainbow smiling at me; Twilight's doing her best to avoid my gaze.

“Nighttide, what was your role in the Red incident last month?” Part of me smiles at that, my nickname seems to have stuck. I know he hates it, but that just made it all the more pleasing.

She looks at me one more time, uncertainty written on her face. I already hate this for that alone. I hate seeing that look; I just want her to smile again. Pressing my body that much closer to hers, I rub the side of her cheek with my muzzle. “Just tell them the truth, they’ll see.”

There’s that smile I wanted to see. “Princess Twilight, Red is my father. I was part of his plans from the very beginning, even before we were freed from the moon.”

“You may want to start from the beginning then,” Twilight says.

“Very well; as you know Luna was banished to the moon almost eleven hundred years ago. Well, what nopony living new was that she wasn’t the only one banished there. The God Tartarus had three sons that he also locked into the moon. Whereas Nightmare Moon was sent by the… elements?” she asked, Twilight just nodded.

“Yes the elements, Red, Mindsink, and Timespire were locked there by a God’s full power. There were no stars that could help them escape. It was about six hundred years into her banishment when Nightmare Moon and Red had me. I’m her daughter, only in the sense that I came from her though.”

“What do you mean?” Rainbow asks.

“I didn’t remember for the longest time, not until recently actually, but I was their mistake. They would torture me every day on the anniversary of my birth just in reminder of my place to them. They taught me that cruelty was just a way of life, that it was simply to be expected, and that the strong always prey upon the weak.”

Red, I swear, even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll kill you.

“About sixty years ago the stars aligned just right for Nightmare Moon’s escape. I think my father saw that as his chance to free himself too. When she brought about eternal night it would reduce the hold that kept them there. I must say it was one of the happiest days of my life seeing her go; I was free of one of my tormentors. Of course, she failed, and that’s when…”

I squeezed her tighter at that. Unsure of what would be so bad. “That’s when what?” Twilight asks.

“Mindsink changed my memories. He made me think she was a good mom, that we were happy together. That she was somehow my savior in a life of misery. Her crimes against me became Timespire’s.”

“That’s why you?” Rainbow questions.

“Yes…” Nighttide starts crying again. “They told me if I wanted her back I had to make Taz fall in love with me. That I had to do everything they told me to. But… but it was a lie, all of it. Please, you have to understand, for me she was a light in the darkness, the only good I’ve had in four-hundred year old life! I never realized just how wonderful Taz was. Not until it was too late.”

I press her muzzle to my coat. “Is that all you need?” I’m glaring at my moms, I feel… I feel hate for them right now. I never thought in a million years I’d feel that way about them.

“There’s more,” Nighttide squeaks out.

“It’s enough.” I say back. To my surprise she pushes back against me.

“No, like you said, I need to tell them the whole truth. Princess Twilight, Princess Rainbow, I… I decided not to go along with it the Friday before Taz left. I found Dayspring Gleam and told him everything. Together we… we came up with a plan to stop them. I’m ashamed to say it failed though.”

“That happened on the Friday before he left?” Twilight asks.

“Yes.”

“Then why were you fighting with Mindsink when I next saw you?” Twilight replies with a deadpan expression.

My heart feels like it stopped at that. She’s right.

“I… I… I…”

I can feel it; I can feel Nighttide’s heart beating a mile a minute in her chest. She’s panicking now and nothing I do is calming her down.

“Why were you fighting with Mindsink?” Twilight repeats her question.

“We… we failed. Dad told me if I join him again I could still have Taz and mom…”

She did it for me. My heart pushes forwards, starting to beat faster than before.

“Is there anything else?” Twilight asks; my stomach feels like it’s fallen to the floor at that question. I already know how this is going to go. That last bit sealed it.

“No,” Nighttide replies, timidly.

I see mom rise up to her full height, Rainbow looks at her with a worried expression on her face. This is it, this is the verdict. “Nighttide, I’m Taz’s mother, and while the love you two share has been pointed out to me many times now,” I see Rainbow flash a quick grin at that. “However, I’m also a Princess of Equestria. Responsible for making sure that the laws Celestia passed down to us are carried out. You were raised in a world that most ponies couldn’t even have nightmares about, and yet, even still, you were able to see right from wrong. You knew what they wanted you to do was wrong and you fought against it. For that you’d be set free.”

I won’t let myself feel hope, not now. I know something else is coming.

“However, you then chose to go back to them, even knowing what you knew. While you may have wanted your mother back, none of the other factors had changed other than your plan failed. On that the law is clear. I’m sorry; if I start making exceptions to the law it will become worthless. I have no choice but to place you under arrest pending a full trial.”

“No!” I shout, placing myself in front of Nighttide. I promised her that everything would be alright. This is going straight into the other direction.

“Taz you don’t have a say in this.” Twilight says before turning to the guards. “Escort her to the cells, please.”

The guards in the room are unicorns. As they start approaching Nighttide, I feel anger and fear growing in me. They walk closer, horns flashing up to arrest Nighttide, but suddenly, the flash is gone. My power extends, taking in everything.

“You will not lay a hoof on her or take her into that rotten cell. If I have to fight you, I will! I killed a hound in Tartarus; you shouldn’t even be a match!” I’m surprised how confident my voice sounds. At my declaration mom’s face shows pure fear now. I can tell she’s afraid of having to order the guards to fight me.

Before I can extend the area of my power, my head is pulled away from them and soft lips are pressed against mine as my rage goes away.

“Please, Taz. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” Nighttide smiles at me; my power slowly starts dying down.

“But… but I promised?”

“You kept it,” she whispers to me.

That damn smile again, how can that one smile just sap my resistance like that? Turning to my mom, I scowl loud enough for her to jump up. “If something happens to her, I promise by the sun and the memory of Celestia as my witness, you will no longer be a mother to me.”

Rainbow looks shocked now. “Taz… don’t do anything you will regret…”

I stop her, “I won’t regret it then. Nighttide is the most important thing in my life. If I can save her by doing this, then I will. I’d die for her if I have to.” I say and turn to Nighttide, seeing tears flowing down her muzzle.

“I love you, Taz.” she whispers and I lean in, kissing her.

“I love you too, Nighttide.” I gently whisper back as our kiss ends. Then, I turn to my mother. “So?”

“No prisoner has ever been mistreated, Taz. She will be well taken care of.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” I scowl again and Twilight’s expression hardens.

Before she can reply, Rainbow puts her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Don’t make a mistake now. I think it is clear that they share a deep bond. Think about it; there were some times when Celestia stretched the rules and you know it.”

I see her pull back from Rainbow’s grasp. That action alone is shocking, “Taz, the law is very clear on visitors. Until you turn eighteen you’re not allowed to visit her alone. When Rainbow or I come with you, you can see her, but that’s it. Celestia may have bent the laws a few times, but I never have and I don’t intend to make special exceptions for family. Guards, take her away.”

“No!” I shout the words as one of the guards approach. I leap on him, anger feeding my very being. I fought a pack of hounds in Tartarus. How much different can a few lonely unicorn guards be?

Turns out, very different; whereas before I fought an instinctual animal, deadly and dangerous, for sure, but not a being with training and experience; this time I fight somepony with training. He sidesteps my leap and easily pins me to the ground, taking me away from Nighttide. She just sits down, not resisting, letting them take her away.

“I hate you,” I say to Twilight, my tone and the conviction in my eyes leave no doubt that I mean it. “I really, really hate you.”

Twilight looks like every word stabbed her with a knife, but nods to her guards as they take us away from each other, in separate directions. At that moment, a part of my heart breaks.

“This isn’t over!” I scream as they drag me from the room. “I swear to you, this isn’t over!”

Author's Note

Sometimes we can do everything right, make all the best decisions, and still lose.

Under the Moon's Light (C)

Chapter six: Under the Moon’s Light (C)

Celestia’s Palace

A rather large part of me wants to laugh, it wants to laugh that they actually call this place a cell. As if to live here was some sort of punishment or something.

I haven’t slept on it yet, but just by placing a hoof on that mattress I can tell it’s easily on my list of the top three beds I’ve ever slept on. The other two being the ones I used when I slept over with Taz.

I have my own private bathroom, a clean floor, three full meals every day, and even several books to read. I’m four hundred and sixty two years old and this is by far one of the most comfortable places I’ve ever stayed in my life.

The only thing remotely ‘cell-like’ to me is the guard posted outside the bar door. I could almost laugh about that, heck, I could almost enjoy it. There’s just one problem, one thing I cannot get over.

Taz isn’t here with me.

That knowledge does make this place a cell. In Tartarus we were together, but he wanted nothing to do with me. Here, he wants to be by my side, but can’t. I’m not sure which one is worse.

I consider, and not for the first time, of escaping. I could, and quite easily at that, but he doesn’t want me to. He wants us to be together, here.

I just want to be by his side.

I watch as the sun goes down through the windows. It’s nighttime, I thought I’d spend it with Taz. I thought we’d spend every night together from now on.

How foolish that was.

I feel anger rising in me, anger at Twilight for keeping us apart. I force it back down. I love Taz; he fought his way into Tartarus to save me. I know he will get me out of here. After all, he promised.

Jumping on the bed I see that I was right, it is comfortable, but lonely. It almost seems too big, like there is somepony missing from it. I know who that is, who’s missing.

Wow… when did this happen to me? When did he become my whole word? No wonder mom said she was disgusted with me.

I smile as I realize that I don’t care. Sure I had power before this, real power, but I hated that life; I hated everything about it. I’ve only been happy with Taz; I’ve only felt like life was worth living when he was holding me.

Between what I had and him, I’ll take him any day of the week.

Clang… slump.

My ears perk up as I hear it. Something just happened right outside of my cell. I turn my head and look in surprise as the guard is gone, just gone. Curious, I get off the bed and move to look out the door. There’s nothing there, just nothing. All I can see is an empty hallway in both directions.

Confused, I turn around to head back to my bed.

“Miss me?” Taz says as he lies on my bed.

My heart jumps into my throat and my eyes go wide at what I see. My mind wants to ask a million and one questions about how this just happened, how he ended up on my bed, but I don’t do any of that. I leap on him like a cat pouncing on a mouse.

He pulls back in surprise, too little too late. Before he’s even aware of it I’m on top of him, his body pinned on his back beneath my own.

“Nig-”

I close my eyes and trap his lips in a kiss. No more words, no more talk, not now. I don’t know how he’s here, but I don’t care. I want to feel him.

So I do. I let my hooves buckle underneath me. I’m lying on him, my stomach pressed against his, my mouth still attached to his. I’m not even touching the bed anymore, I’m only on him. It’s exactly where I want to be.

This bed just became the fourth most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on. Taz is my new number one. Several times I feel him try and break the kiss, each time I refuse to let it happen. This is what I want, this right here. Everything else is secondary to this moment.

I surprise him when my tongue pushes slightly against his lips. I can tell he wasn’t expecting that, but he opens his mouth ever so slightly regardless. It’s all the opening I need. My tongue goes on an expedition into his mouth in order to find its counterpart.

I do, I find his tongue and start to motivate it into action. He catches on quick enough and starts to run his over mine. It’s a cautious approach, but slowly I can feel him gain confidence in his actions.

Like he has anything to worry about; I’m his, mind, body, and soul.

Before long he’s pushing into my mouth. I let him, I accept him like a lover, and welcome him into my mouth. It’s amazing to me how much I love the feeling.

I slightly open my eyes to see his wide open, simply staring at me. I’m so surprised that I let him get away. He lightly bites my bottom lip as we break, causing the smallest amount of pain, pain that only serves to cause a warm sensation to start to develop in my nethers.

He releases my lip and I wish he didn’t. Now we’re staring at each other, nose to nose. “You were supposed to close your eyes,” I say as I run a hoof along his muzzle and through his mane. His new scar is there, a scar that looks like it might still hurt. He presses his muzzle against my hoof and sighs at my touch.

“If I did that I wouldn’t be able to see you, and I don’t want to miss a thing.”

At those words it feels like my heart sprouted wings of its own and started flying around my chest.

“Did she?” I ask. There’s hope in my voice that maybe he succeeded, that maybe Twilight will let us be together.

“No.”

His word kills that hope.

“Then why are you here? She said that you aren’t allowed at my side alone.”

He wraps a hoof around my head and runs it through my mane. Pushing my head down, he touches his forehead to my own. “I don’t care what she says. She can’t stop me, so she’ll have to accept it, accept us. Your punishment is mine, Nighttide. There’s nothing she can do to keep us apart. I vowed that I would be the last thing you saw before you fell asleep and the first thing you laid eyes on when you woke up. I plan on keeping that promise.”

“So… you’re just going to live in here with me?” I ask, unsure.

“No, I’m going to live wherever you are,” he says back with a small smile. “If mom keeps you here then this will be my new home, if she moves you somewhere else, then I’ll just live there.”

I push up, our noses connect, and then our lips do. It’s not a long kiss though as I have more to say.

“Taz, I don’t want this cell to be your home.”

“It’s not, your hooves are my home,” he replies as he runs a hoof along the side of my stomach.

When did he become such a smooth talker?

My chest feels like it’s on fire, my heart is bouncing around in there at a mile a minute. My wings are stiff and sticking out right behind me. I feel a wetness increasing between my legs, I know what it is and I cannot believe it. He’s barely laid a hoof on me and I’m already this hot for him.

My distraction costs me. With just a smile on his face he places a hoof on my side and rolls us over. We’re on the side of the bed now, him on top of me. We’re inches from falling off but I’m in delight.

Taz is a big stallion for his age. His mass is almost one and a half mine over. Yet I take his weight without complaint. It’s like his weight is grounding me, keeping me stable. I welcome it, I welcome everything he is.

His lips connect once more to my own and I feel my body react to the connection. I keep my back legs spread, my front hooves go around his neck, and my wings stretch to their maximum length to wrap us both in a cocoon of feathers.

Part of me knows that when he pulls back there will be a wet spot on his stomach. The heat, the touch, and him… all of him, it’s all making me hotter than I’ve ever remembered being.

That’s when I feel it; I feel something brush against my leg, something that wasn’t there before. Or more precisely, something that wasn’t out before.

I ignore it for now and open my eyes to look into his. True to his word he kept his open. I can see it though, the slight change in his gaze, he’s self-conscious about it. I giggle a little at the implications of that. He actually thinks I might be offended or something.

He seems to have forgotten that I did offer to help him with it back in Tartarus.

I surprise us both and break the connection with our lips. Moving a hoof up to his head I push him slightly to the side, letting my muzzle move close to his ear. “Taz, I want you,” I whisper into his ear.

He pulls back and looks at me, confusion is written on his face for a few seconds before I see realization dawn on him. It’s cute.

“I… I’ve never done this before,” he says, like I don’t already know.

“Me neither.”

He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me. “Taz, I was trapped on the moon with Nightmare Moon, Red, Mindsink, and Timespire for my entire life. Do you really think I’d buck one of them?”

“But you…”

He does remember.

“Just because I don’t have experience, doesn’t mean I don’t have knowledge. I knew what my father showed you and I knew that had to be rough, I wanted to help you,” I say softly.

He smiles at me; it’s a smile of somepony coming to a realization.

“Nighttide, will you be mine?”

The question makes me pause, for a second anyway.

“Always,” I say with no hesitation in my voice. I mean it; I mean it in the most literal way imaginable. I am his, whenever, wherever he wants. I truly don’t believe I have it in me to ever tell him no, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t want to tell him no.

I should be scared at that realization, but I’m not, not in the slightest. I know that whatever he asks of me, whatever we do; I know that he loves me. He will always have my best interests in his heart.

If anything I’m excited about what he might be thinking.

I cling even closer to him, enjoying his warmth. The brushing against my leg is evolving to a poking and I can feel it growing longer. As I look into his eyes he tries to look away as it’s more obvious than ever, but I force his gaze to stay on me. That seems to break the ice.

“Do you still want to help me?” he asks, smiling weirdly.

“No, Taz. I don’t want to help you. I want to make love with you,” I whisper, softly kissing his muzzle. My words remove the pretext of what we both know we’re about to do. There’s no more subtext, no more illusion. I want him; I want to know him, to feel him, to touch him, and to make love to him.

His gaze becomes a mix of confidence and nervousness, of sexual attraction and uncertainty.

“Relax,” I say as I stare into his eyes. I run a hoof across his muzzle; he pushes back against it, seeking to get more of the feeling of me against his fur.

Pushing his muzzle slightly to the side, I gently lick out with my tongue across the scar on his face. The action sends a tingle down my spine as I taste him. He carries the dust of Tartarus on his fur, the sweat of the day, and a minor hint of the dried blood from his scar. In addition, there’s another taste there, another flavor that’s all of those things and none of them. I know what it is; it’s the taste of him.

I love it, I love everything about it.

The action seems to cause the same affect in him. I can feel his member lying against my leg, it twitches slightly against my fur, there’s heat and wetness coming from it, neither of which I can deny. My body shivers at his touch, causing an illicit thrill to flow through it.

I take my left hoof and run it across the side of his body, feeling his muscles under his coat. As an earth pony, Taz has to do everything on his own power. When he goes somewhere, it’s always on his own hooves, when he carries something; it’s on his own shoulders. A lifetime of that has caused his muscles to tone nicely under his skin.

I feel it now, every ripple, and every texture of them. I had no idea he was this strong, this well built. It makes sense; he carried me from Tartarus’s Castle all the way to where we were on a hurt leg and shoulder.

He tenses a little when my hoof runs a little too close to his left shoulder. It still bothers him, still hurts. I pull back, afraid that I might have caused him pain. “Sorry,” I say.

He grins at me before saying, “Don’t be, I’ll never not want your touch.”

My chest feels like it’s going to burst open at those words. Tentatively, I return my hoof where it was; he tenses up, but doesn’t pull away. Slowly, I run it over the hurt spot and he relaxes at my touch. With a grin I add small pecks to it and I feel him finally give himself over. He is finally able to fully enjoy my touch as his muscles completely relax.

I know that you should always start slow during the first time, build everything up, and make it unforgettable. Despite what my body wants, that’s exactly my plan. I want to give Taz the best time of his life. My kisses run over his fur, softly caressing every spot they can reach. Soon Taz coos softly at my ministrations, making me grin.

He’s always been a quick learner and now is no different. I feel his hoof touch my fur. Slowly, tentatively he starts to run it up and down my stomach. Part of me wishes he could run both hooves over me; alas he needs one to keep himself up. Still, I feel it; I feel his touch upon my fur, the pressure he starts to place against me.

As I explore him, he explores me. My body reacts to his touch, enjoying the feeling of his hoof pressing against me. While I continue to plant kisses onto his coat, his hoof finds my flank and starts to slowly rub over it, causing me to coo slightly. He smiles and adds more pressure, the right amount to just the right spot.

My wings open up at that. It’s at once monumental and symbolic. I want him to see me, to know me, and to own me. I’m presenting myself to him, letting the moonlight shine on both of us. His gaze turns softly to the side, admiring my wings. He smiles at their view and I smile at him.

“Your wings are gorgeous.”

I was born with them, lived with them every day of my life. Yet when I hold one up for us both to view, I see them in a different light, and not just the moonlight. Taz likes them, he calls them gorgeous, and because of that, they become something more to me.

The heat I feel between my legs grows in intensity. Normally I’d only feel this way after rubbing myself off. Yet, with just a few touches and some kind words, he’s caused the same feeling in me.

I raise my muzzle and look up and to the left, presenting my neck to him. I want to feel his kiss upon my fur. He doesn’t need a second invitation. I feel his muzzle rub against my own as he slowly lowers it to my neck. His lips press against my fur, leaving little wet spots where they depart.

Between our body heat I feel the saliva evaporate into the air. It at once cools me and heats me up that much more, like the smallest amount of water thrown on a raging fire, a fire that is me. Some part of me wants to take him, everything, but the larger part wants this to be the best memory in his life, something to remember forever. Something he will only be able to share with me. That means I need to give this all the time it needs for it to be unforgettable.

For now that desire wins out, I don’t know how long I can hold the fire back though, I’ll do it for as long as I can though, even if it burns me. Although, I cannot lie, I want him to take me, to ravage me to an inch of my life. Just the thought of it causes my leg to rub against his member ever so slightly.

The action earns me a small groan of approval from him. I’m not able to keep it up though as he moves slightly farther down my neck. His body moves to accommodate his new position. He’s lower now, too low for me to continue rubbing against him.

As his mouth moves to my chest I can feel his kisses against my fur, I can feel him press against the joints between my hooves and body. Briefly, I wonder if he can taste me, like I tasted him. I hope so; I hope that he loves the taste of me, that to him it’s a fine aged wine that he will love to savor.

I almost laugh when I realize that he’s probably never tasted wine in his life, almost.

He’s unsure what to do. Gone is the nervousness in his actions, but he’s still ignorant of what feels good and what does not. I lead him, guiding his muzzle with slight pushes of my hoof to where I like, where my own ministrations have taught me feels the best.

Those times don’t compare to this. Touching myself will never feel the same again, it can never compare to his touch. A moan escapes my lips when he finds my left teat. I see his ears twitch when he hears it. It’s all the feedback he needs.

His tongue slowly flares out, lightly licking at my teat. My moan goes louder and he continues more eagerly, lapping on it, circling his tongue around it. After playing with it like that for a while he lets his lips close around it, lightly suckling on it.

It’s causing me to go wild.

I buck my lower body softly against him while he plays with my teat, his actions are causing my legs to open and close on their own, trying to grind against something that isn’t there, yet. Soon he even starts switching between my teats, adding new sensations. I feel them burn, longing for his touch, never wanting him to leave. But at the same time the heat and the wetness between my legs are simply becoming stronger and stronger, almost unbearable.

“Taz!” I moan out, but he never stops, he only acts more eagerly. I want him to move down and fight the heat, but he keeps his place, keeping up his work. In his overzealousness, I tense up when his teeth lightly bite down upon my teat. The feeling is at once painful and bumps up my pleasure to a whole new level.

He looks up at the noise I made, “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

I place a hoof over his muzzle. “Do that again,” I say, my body shaking with sweat pouring down my brow. I have no idea why that felt so good, but I don’t care either.

He raises an eyebrow, but soon gets back to work after I give him a look that tells him I’m very serious. His actions start to push me far more than I expect and I cry out in pleasure and a bit of pain before I can even stop it. The more I cry out, the harder he bites. I love it, the feeling of pain, and the soothing touch of his tongue, all of it. Before long he grabs one of my nipples with his teeth and pulls ever so slightly, causing me to yell his name into the sky.

“Are… are you okay?”

I blink my eyes a few times before looking down. He’s no longer lying on me; he’s standing upon his hooves, looking down at my stiff, tender nipples standing straight up. I can’t help but notice a large wet spot upon his chest. Then, he looks more down, straight to the main prize.

I want him to take it so I spread my legs more, inviting him into my wet folds. He looks unsure now, nervous even. So I rise and lock his lips in a kiss. We break after a few moments to breathe and I slowly run my right hoof across his member, which is now standing at full mast. After some quick strokes I pull back, lean back again, and spread my legs wider. It’s a clear invitation to begin the main show.

Taz surprises me, I expect him to mount me then and there, but instead he slowly lays down again, his muzzle lowering between my legs. He trails kisses around my inner thighs, making me shiver in delight. His tongue moves up and flicks a few times over my teats but he doesn’t stay at them. After teasing me a bit, he moves down my body, eying my marehood, the source of the wetness that soaked his chest. He’s cautious, after a quick sniff he leans in, giving it a hesitant lick.

It seems as if what Red showed him did help a little after all.

A moan escapes my lips at the small lick, but more follow. It seems like he likes my taste, because he hums and dives in, adding more licks that are growing ever quicker as he samples more of my taste. I simply love it, all of it.

What he lacks in skill he more than makes up for in eagerness. I couldn’t care less right now about his lack in skill. Every lick of his tongue is like a cooling wave over the fire that had been developing in my loins. Every time the rough texture of his tongue touches me it sends a jolt of lighting through my body, hitting spots in me that I never knew existed.

“Taz!” The word escapes me as he keeps busy. My sensations are flooded with the feelings of his tongue, my ears hear his slobbering over my marehood, and my eyes are glued on his head as he works between my legs. The cell smells of sweat and sex. I feel my body becoming hotter and hotter as he continues to work.

Slowly, his tongue goes deeper, and suddenly he hit the main prize. He finds an extra sensitive spot and I loudly cry out. Taz notices and stays at the place, driving me crazy with every single lick.

I feel it happening; the fire in me is building up to a crescendo that will not be denied. I feel it burning me, driving my body crazy with lust and desire. Without intending too, my flank lifts up off the bed and pushes into his muzzle as I seek to get him deeper in me.

That’s when it happens; I feel his tongue penetrate me far, far farther than before. The rough texture runs right across that spot with agonizing slowness. It pushes me over the edge. My front hooves cover my mouth in an effort to muffle my scream of pleasure. My wings lock up in a fully open position, my hind legs go stiff, and my eyes slam shut as I’m overcome with the best orgasm I’ve ever experienced in my life.

I lose myself to the pleasure, my consciousness fades as my mind is no longer able to register what’s happening around it, as its attention is only on the fire inside of me.

It rages uncontrolled; until, at last, there is nothing left to burn.

My body feels sticky and sweaty. My limbs are weak, moving them is impossible, almost as if they weigh a ton. Weakly raising my head I see Taz looking wide eyed at me, his muzzle completely covered in my juices. I have to giggle at that sight.

He moves up, slowly as to not hurt me by applying pressure to the wrong spot. “Nighttide, ar-”

I stop his question with a lick across his muzzle. There’s a fifth taste added to the smorgasbord of flavors on his face, I know it’s the taste of me. It’s exactly where it should be. “Taz, I’ve never felt better in my life.”

In his new position I feel his member lying on my stomach. The wetness it leaves at the tip only adds to the dampness of my fur. My body screams at me to finally take him, but I have a better idea. I look at him, grinning, then at his member trapped between our bodies. Confusion is on his face until I speak.

“Come up some more. I want to return the favor.”

Taz hesitates, but then he crawls up until his member pokes at my muzzle. It’s a difficult position, but I have some knowledge that it’s the best, as he’ll find out soon enough.

The smell hits me before I can even get a good look at it. It’s strong, smelling of sweat and cum. It overpowers my nostrils and becomes all I can smell. It’s the smell of him, the most intimate part of him. I know that I will forever love that smell. My brain associates it with him, with everything he is. It becomes the smell of the stallion I love.

My eyes adjust to his body being over me and the lack of light that I now have to work with. I gasp at the size of his member. I know it shouldn’t surprise me; Taz is a big stallion for his age, really big. That he’d have a member to match shouldn’t surprise me, but it does.

My mind cannot help but wonder how it will feel. I shiver in anticipation as the fire in me starts growing again, finding something new to burn.

I can tell this whole experience has done a number on him in the same way it’s done to me. The tip of his member is glistening with pre-cum. A small strand of which is falling down the head onto my chest as gravity does what it does best.

I see it land on me and shiver at the contact. I know it’s not the first time tonight, for either of us, but it’s the first one I’ve watched. With a hoof I lightly run it across my chest, rubbing it into my fur. I raise my hoof to my muzzle and sniff it.

It’s the same smell coming from his member. The same smell of him. I stick out my tongue and lick my hoof. The taste is salty, but also sweet, and pleasant. It is something I know I’ll be addicted to.

I see more starting to drip down; I want it to land on me, but that taste… I want more of that taste. I catch it on my tongue and lick up, straight across the head of his dick.

What was on my hoof doesn’t compare to this. Straight from the source, with no other flavors to get in the way, this is way, way better. I hear him moan at the slightest contact and cannot help but giggle at that. If he thought that was good, he hasn’t felt anything yet.

Reaching out a hoof I lightly take hold of his member. I can feel the heat coming off it; I can feel it twitching in anticipation and desire. Licking my lips I move my muzzle closer and closer, lightly parting my mouth and accepting the tip of him into me.

The scent in my nostrils triples in intensity; the taste grows exponentially in my mouth as my tongue plays over his head. Every swallow I take is simply more of him, more of his flavor, and I love it.

He’s moaning louder now. I can feel his body shaking above me. Yet I don’t care. I take more and more of him into my mouth, seeking to savor the fresh parts while drawing out more of his cum. However, before I can even take half of his member, he screams out my name and almost buckles on top of me.

I feel his member twitch once more before a large, concentrated amount of his cum shoots at the back of my throat. The action immediately triggers my gag reflex and I start to cough. However, his body takes no notice of that and another load hits, painting my upper jaw and my tongue white.

With no choice but to pull my head back his third load strikes me on top of my muzzle, the fourth and fifth dribble out onto my chest. I’m a bit disappointed at myself that I’m not able to take it all without problems. Wanting to get everything, I lick the rest of his cum from my face and his member, running my tongue in circles over its head. Taz buckles slowly before I take him in again, and this time he learns why it’s the best position.

As if on automatic, he slowly bucks into my muzzle, moaning loudly. I like it. No, I love it and I want more. With each hump of his hips I try and take more and more of him into my mouth. Before long I feel the tip of his head press against the back of my throat, right up to where his cum hit and caused me problems.

I can feel the need to cough again the farther in he pushes. I concentrate, doing my absolute best to push it back down, to fight against that reflex. My eyes widen as Taz moans deeply and pushes forward with almost no mercy, going straight down my throat. Still, his member is not completely in. To my surprise, I’m able to push through my gag reflex as almost three-fourths of his member is in my muzzle.

It doesn’t take him long before he pushes a last time, packing his load deep down my throat. I swallow rapidly as I take it all, glad that I’m able to. Still, I’m also a bit scared how it will feel later. As despite him going down my throat there’s still a quarter of his member that I was unable to get into my mouth. I quickly put the thought aside; I want to take everything he has, to make him mine, and to be his.

With a wet plop, I pull back as he pulls out. His member bobs up and down in front of my face and then he rolls over to his side, his body falls on the bed with a satisfied grunt coming from his muzzle.

I crawl up on him, slowly nuzzling into his neck. “I hope you don’t think that we’re done yet,” I say with a smirk as he smiles.

“I was hoping that you would say that,” he says and looks down, admiring my body once again. I can tell from his lustful glare and the lick over his lips that he loves what he sees.

It’s his turn to surprise me; he wraps a hoof around my body and pushes me even closer against him. Before I can even gasp he locks my lips around his own. He takes the lead and soon his tongue follows. I accept it like a long lost lover, wrapping my own around it. All the while his hooves circle around my flank, pushing down on my cutie mark. My body rewards him with soft coos.

While our lips never leave each other’s, and our tongues are locked in an embrace, I start to feel his hips moving in a parody of what we just did. His member is already growing again, mashed between our two bodies as he does what his body is demanding him to do purely on instinct. I can feel that he wants me, and I want him too.

Now.

Slowly, I turn and break the kiss, placing myself onto my back and opening my legs wide. It’s an invitation to him and him only, an invitation to a long life of passion, love, lust, desire, and so much more. This time he doesn’t hesitate. This time he rolls over, planting kisses onto my belly and moves up, not down. His member is slowly nearing its destination.

There is a new look on his face, one that he’s not had yet today. I smile as I recognize it; this is it, the final barrier for him. He’s asking my permission without using words, with just his eyes. I respond in kind, licking up the front of his muzzle and to the very tip of his nose.

“Go slow, at first anyway.”

It’s all the permission he needs. We’re both more than ready, I can feel the wetness dripping from me, and he’s already cum twice in my mouth, his member is soaked with my saliva and his own juices.

From my knowledge I expect it to hurt at first. I’m really surprised to feel only a soft, short sting as he enters, slowly poking between my labia. He really is a gentlecolt, going slow and easy, adding small pecks from time to time to my muzzle before pushing a bit more. I love every single millisecond of it.

My eyes grow wide as I feel the tip of his head go all the way in. It’s like a homecoming, as if it was always meant to be there. My body accepts it like a piece of me that has been missing all my life, simply waiting for this moment to be whole again.

I wrap my front hooves around his neck and bring him in for another kiss. When we break he’s smiling at me. I can tell in that one look that he feels the same. We both feel connected and complete in a way we haven't felt our entire life.

As he pushes in more, I feel my marehood open up even further. Accepting him in a way I never thought possible. Each and every inch of him feels that much better than the last; my body becomes that much more accepting of it.

My word becomes his magenta eyes and the feeling between my legs. My consciousness is lost in those eyes as my body becomes the feeling of him entering me in a way that nopony else has ever done before.

He was right, it’s so much better to keep your eyes open. Taz is going slow, slower than I thought, but I love it. He’s treating me like I’m his queen and I know that I’m everything to him just like he’s everything to me. I know that we will both cherish this night and I want to be his forever, completely.

When the tip of his member runs across that same spot his tongue found, my head snaps back, breaking the contact with his eyes. He doesn’t stop pushing forward, I’m not sure he can stop right now. I feel every vein on his member running across that spot, almost as it were designed to tease me.

“Nighttide… you’re… you’re…”

His words cause me to look back up into his eyes. I smile as I see him, truly see him. There’s sweat pouring from his brow, a grunt of effort on his muzzle. I pull myself up to where our muzzles are right next to each other.

“You can go a little faster,” I whisper the words into his ear and pull back to look him in the eyes once more.

He kisses me and during this kiss, I can feel him increase his speed ever so slightly, his member going a bit more in. As we break, I look down to see that he’s not even half in, yet he fills me out in a way that is pure bliss to my mind and body.

My hind legs wrap around his flank as he pushes farther in. My body acts on its own as my legs force him in even farther, farther than either of us was ready for. My pull makes him go in a few inches at once, causing me to whimper slightly. Taz gasps in shock and pulls back.

“Nighttide? Are you okay?” he asks, looking down in shock as to see where he hurt me.

My hind legs stiffen as I feel him trying to pull even further out. I don’t want him to; this is not like before, I want… I will have all of him, I was meant for him, he was meant for me. I want to be his. That means I need to take everything he can give.

“Keep going.” The words leave my muzzle without conscious thought.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

To answer his question I move my hips ever so slightly, forcing myself further down and him further in. His eyes widen and I take his lips into a kiss, soothing his doubt. He smiles as we break it and slowly starts to push in and out; the sound is quickly accompanied by our moans.

I try to keep myself from pulling him in; I want him to go at his own pace. Slowly, he increases his speed and depth. With every few pushes, he adds another half inch, another bit of speed. It makes me feel good, better than that even.

Looking down he is almost ninety percent in now, and I can nearly feel him pressing at my cervix. I nearly cry out at that realization since I want everything from him.

It’s then I feel him, he lightly places a hoof against my muzzle, tentatively pressing against it. I smile at that small bit as I realize a fundamental truth. My mom was wrong, she was wrong about everything. It’s only now that I realize it’s not a mark of your strength that you prey upon the weak; it’s a mark of your strength on how much you protect the weak.

Taz wants to protect me; he wants to be my shield, my savor against ponies that have Godly powers. I know he’ll succeed too, simply because he will not accept failure. By all accounts, he’s weak, he has no magic, no power, and yet, yet at the same time he’s the strongest pony I’ve ever met in my life.

In his next push I feel him press against the entrance of my womb. A quick glance down conforms what I already know, that he’s barely made any more headway.

In my life I’ve been branded, burned, had my feathers plucked out one at a time, and even been dismembered. Yet this, failing here and now, this would be too much, too painful to bear.

Looking into Taz’s eyes, I simply smile. “More.”

He looks back, worry and doubt in his eyes at my word. I know that he can feel his tip pushing against my womb; I know that he can feel the barrier. I want him to take it down.

“Nighttide, I-” I silence his words with a kiss.

My eyes never leave his; they continue to stare into his soul, pleading with him. When we pull back I’m smiling at him, a smile that tells him everything he needs to now.

He grunts in effort as he pushes harder than ever before. In the next instant I feel pain, pain unlike any other I’ve experienced that night. However, it’s not what has my attention. What has that is the other thing, the feeling of his hips fully pressed against my own, his sack pressed up to my flank.

I did it, finally, we’re one.

He holds, too concerned about the look of pain on my muzzle to risk moving, too concerned about my own wellbeing to try and continue for his own pleasure.

I owe my mother one thing. It hurt, but it’s nothing compared to what I've been through before. She taught me how to be tough, how to continue despite the pain.

With a smile on my muzzle our lips met yet again. I press forward, my tongue entering his mouth. He’s fully in me and now I’m in him. The kiss is the allowance he wants, the confidence he needs that I’m okay. With that, he pulls out and pushes back, letting me squeal into his muzzle. This time there is no pain, just endless pleasure as he fully penetrates me again and again.

He increases his speed after a while and I can feel him pant and moan into my muzzle. I know that he is close by his twitching member deep inside me and that he can’t stop. I welcome it, everything. He’s now hammering into me and I scream in pleasure as our kiss breaks.

With his last deep buck into me I scream his name. His member invades my womb, spraying his thick seed directly into the main goal. I don’t know if his seed is fertile yet and I don’t care. He finally claims me as his, filling me with his cum. I don’t care if I’m pregnant now. In fact, I kind of hope I am, I want foals with him, as many as we can make. The thought of having such a big family, his family, it makes me smile.

Spray after spray of his seed splashes into my womb, filling me with it, I feel a small amount of it leaking out besides his member, traveling out my snatch and dripping down our flanks and onto the sheets. He fills me with everything he has and I’m glad he does. I’m already addicted to the feeling and know that I’ll never get enough of it.

He collapses onto me, no longer able to stand up on his own, his endurance spent. I can still feel him inside of me, his member twitching, and his seed coating my innermost walls. With a hoof, I brush part of his mane out of his eyes and greet his face with a smile.

We’re both sweaty, out of breath, and panting from the heat. The smell of our sex and sweat feels the air. It’s our smell though, the smell we created together. Taz breathes heavily, closing his eyes while his heart slowly returns to its usual beat.

A silent squeak nearly startles me, and out if the corner of my eye I can see raped movement by the cell door. I see a small part of a prismatic mane before it leaves my vision, but I don’t care. All that counts is the stallion lying on top of me, the stallion that is giving me all of his love.

“Nighttide…” The word sounds weak as he tries to speak, “can we do this again?”

That causes me to chuckle, “Everyday, my love.” I mean it too, every day that goes by that I don’t feel his touch will forever be a day wasted in my book.

“I love you,” he says despite a yawn on his face as he closes his eyes and lays his head down upon my chest. I cannot imagine how tired he is. I know that he stayed up to watch me sleep in Tartarus. Of course he would, he’d want to protect me while I slept. He’s been up for almost a day and I know that our lovemaking drained the last of his reserves.

Chuckling, I softly brush along his mane, eying every detail of him. I don’t care that we are still lying like that. I don’t care that he’s still inside me. I care that we’re sleeping together, as one.

I lay like that for a while before I start to feel sweet slumber coming to calm me; my last gaze is of Taz.

“I love you too,” I whisper weakly, I feel myself falling asleep, heading off to wonderful dreams with the stallion I love.

I know that Princess Rainbow Dash saw us, but I have no idea how much she saw, I don’t really care either. Come what may, the stallion sleeping upon me is mine, and I’m his. As long as that never changes I can deal with any consequences. As the last vestige of consciousness is about to leave me, I wrap my wings around him and squeeze. The action earns me a slight coo from him. I smile as I hear it; it’s the last thing I hear before sleep takes me.

Author's Note

Having sex is the seeking of physical pleasure from another. Making love is the physical expression of your love for another. When you love someone, truly love them, you cannot help but want to express that love.

Vindication and Absolution

Chapter seven: Vindication and Absolution

Celestia’s Palace

My ears perk up as their approach wakes me from my sleep. There are three of them, three ponies coming down to check on me. It doesn’t surprise me when I wake up to their hoof-steps, I always did have good hearing.

The stallion on my stomach is still sleeping peacefully. I run a hoof through his mane, wondering if I should tell them to take a hike until he wakes up. I could easily stop them from waking him without having to get up myself. But no, I knew this was coming as soon as I saw that rainbow mane last night out of the corner of my eye.

I feel… empty. At some point last night he popped out of me, his member no doubt retreating back into its sheath. It left me without, like it was always meant to be there and now it’s not.

I know it’s more to do with the connection we share and now that the physical representation of that connection is gone, I… I miss it.

Breathing in through my nose I smell it, I smell us. I know the guards will be able to smell it too. I should be self-conscious about that, I’m not. It’s a badge of honor, a mark of our love. One I wear with pride.

They’re about here, I can hear them. Soon they’ll wake up Taz whether he wants to get up or not. I decide to beat them to the punch. I press my lips to his in hopes that will do it. He smiles, coos, but doesn’t wake up. With a smile I lightly run a hoof through his mane and give him the tiniest of shakes.

That doesn’t work either. I chuckle and lightly lick the tip of his muzzle with my tongue. That did it; he starts to stir at the sudden contact.

I feel bad about it; I know he was up for long time yesterday, but better that I wake him up than them. I know that’s what I would want if our situations were reversed.

Moving my muzzle to the side of his head, I lightly start to nibble on his ear until he sighs in content at my actions. When I pull back I see the smile on his face and I give him one in return.

Those magenta eyes, I could stare at them for hours.

“Hello, my love,” I say.

HIs only reply is to lock lips with me one more time. When we break apart, he looks at me with that smile again. “If I can start every day like this, I’ll consider it a blessing just to wake up,” he says as he playfully licks the tip of my nose.

Okay, two questions: Who the heck gave him the big book of cheesy lines to say, and why the hell is it working so well? Seriously, that line was so damn lame but my heart feels like it’s melting at his words.

I don’t get the chance to ask either question, as at that moment the guards arrive at the cell.

“Where’s the night guard?” the lead pony asks.

Taz looks at me with a wink before glancing over to them, “Two cells down, he’s bound and gagged.”

One of the three guards leaves, no doubt to free their companion. The lead pony does his best to pay no attention to the smell. I smile at that. The way his nose twitches, the way he holds his head, all of it; it’s easy to tell that the more he tries to ignore it the more obvious his discomfort becomes.

“You have committed serious crimes, Prince Taz,” he says in an all-too serious tone.

Seriously, can’t these guys relax for like, a minute?

“Like what?” Taz asks.

“Breaking a prisoner out of her cell.”

“Ehm, excuse me, I’m still here,” I reply in a snarky tone. He broke into my cell; he didn’t break me out of it. I’d figure that much would be obvious.

“Assaulting a member of the royal guard.”

Yeah, they got him there.

“Okay, I did do that,” he smiles. “But we needed some alone time.”

“Your actions will be reported to Princess Twilight.”

“Like I care,” he growls at them. “Go ahead and get her. She can see for herself.”

The thought kind of makes me laugh. I try to imagine Princess Twilight coming down here to see her son lying on top of the mare that took his virginity. The smell of sex permeating her nostrils as what we did becomes obvious to her.

Okay, now I’m kinda in the mood again.

“No need, Princess Twilight and Princess Rainbow require your presence.”

“I’m not going anywhere withou-”

“And Nighttide’s.”

We both look at each other at that. To say it was unexpected would be an understatement. I have no doubt that Taz knew he’d be in trouble over this, but I can’t think of a single reason why they’d want my presence as well.

He looks at me with uncertainty on his muzzle. I do my best to smile. I reach up and kiss him again. When we break he’s still looking at me, as if to ask me my opinion.

“Whatever you do, I’ll be right by your side,” I say, I mean it too. If he told me to kill all four of them and escape, I’d do it in a heartbeat, well, as long as he came with.

He smiles and kisses me once more. I welcome it. Then he starts to get up and move off me. I think the only reason my limbs did not fall asleep was the bed we slept on. It easily absorbed the extra weight. However, when he moves, my body groans in complaint.

He makes it quick, noticing my discomfort. The funny thing is I bet he thinks it was his weight on me that caused it. In reality it was his weight moving off me that caused it.

As he stands on all four hooves I make no move to get up. I turn my head to look at him. “Do we have to get up?” I ask playfully. I know we have to, I’d just prefer to lay with him for a while longer.

“Well, we can always go back to sleep.”

“That sounds nice,” I say with a smile.

“That’s not an option,” the lead guard replies.

“Nopony asked you,” Taz replies with a smirk. I can tell it pissed off the guard something fierce, but there's jack shit he can do about it.

Taz nuzzles into my neck, causing goosebumps to run down my skin. “C’mon, let’s find out what she wants,” the inflection he put on ‘she’ tells me how he feels about her right now.

When he offers me a hoof I have no choice but to take it. It’s okay; if this is what he wants me to do I’ll do it, for him.

Sadly, my body did not get the message.

I feel it then, or more precisely I feel the lack of it then. As I move my lower hooves up and off the bed the muscles that had yet to fully adjust back after last night start screaming at me. I feel sore in a way I’ve never felt before as I try to stand up.

Taz notices as I press my front hoof against my lower stomach in an attempt to force things back into place. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, you’re kinda big, Taz.” I say with a smile at the obvious discomfort that causes the guards.

“Oh, sorry,” he says with a blush.

I kiss him on the check at that. “Trust me, there’s nothing to be sorry about. We’ll just have to make sure we get plenty of practice,” I place all the emphasis I can on that last word, saying it softly enough where it causes all the right emotions in him but loud enough to embarrass the guards that much more.
One glance at them all tells me succeed on both counts. There’s a lust in his eyes. I can tell he wants to push me back on the bed and ravish me like last night, and I want him too. However, the dumb guards pick that moment to clear their throat.

“Give me the word and they’re gone,” I whisper into his ear. I can tell he’s thinking about it, from the looks of it his thoughts are a battle in his mind. Sadly, he shakes his head no.

“We’re coming,” he tells them.

“I wish,” I reply, earning myself another kiss from him.

I remember when I was in class with him they said stallions are normally the horny ones, and that mares don’t really feel like that unless they’re in heat. Yeah, total bullshit. The way I feel now I just want to drain him dry of every drop of cum he can produce.

In me, on me, I don’t really care. As long as it came from him that’s all that matters.

Alas, there’s just no time. As he walks away I follow him out of the cell and down the hall. He’s keeping one eye on the guards during our trek, as if they might actually try something or that this might all be a trap. As I walk behind him I see that my words caused more of an impact then I thought. His member is poking ever so slightly out of its sheath.

I’m kinda want to play with him now. A few well-placed blows of air, maybe a quick, nonchalant rub with my tail, or a well-timed flick of my feathers, and I bet I can have that thing swinging between his legs at full mast. Based on the size of it from last night it’ll probably be dragging along the ground by the time we got to his parents.

The thought causes me to shiver in delight. I can’t help but imagine him sitting in front of his parents as they yell at him, his cock hard as a rock, and knowing that I caused it.

I notice then that I’m blushing. I do my best to hide it, to force my head down. It doesn’t help, it just gives me a better sight of his member, and of the smell of the matted fur on my chest. I remember then, when he was standing over me a large drop of cum fell on my chest. I rubbed it into my fur.

The smell of dried cum fills my nostrils. I was told once that smell is the strongest link to memory. If I was ever in doubt of that, now I’m not. It comes back, the memory of everything we did last night, the smell of it, and even the feel of it.

“Nighttide, you coming?”

I look up, at some point I stopped walked forward and sat on my haunches. I don’t remember doing that.

I feel… I feel wet and I’m under no illusions as to why.

“Yeah… mind if I go ahead of you?” I ask. It’s odd, I didn’t care if they smelled it, but I don’t want the guards to see me, not like this. This is only for one pony.

He looks at me, confused. “Sure,” Taz says as he walks behind me. I get up and start walking forward. I can almost picture it in my mind, his eyes growing wide at the sight before him, his nostrils flaring as he catches the scent of my sex, and his member getting harder and harder.

Yeah, now I’m getting even wetter.

He doesn’t say anything, as I knew he wouldn’t. Still, there’s a devil in me that abuses even this kindness he did for me. I start to sway my hips ever so slightly, my tail bounces right and left a little more than they should; giving him a much better view of everything I want him to see, everything that is his.

I play with him for a little while longer until I hear a growl coming from behind me. “If you look at her like that one more time I’ll smash your teeth down your throat.”

Looking back I see him pinning one of the guards to the wall with a hoof, anger in his eyes. I can see that he is only seconds away from hurting him, from fulfilling his promise. Turning, I walk back and lay my wing over him. “Come on. You know that it only belongs to you. Let those small stallions dream. I have you.” I close it with a long kiss. I can feel him tensed up, at least until my tongue enters his mouth anyway. It’s not long after that until I feel him relaxing into it.

The guard against the wall gulps and starts walking forward after Taz releases him, fast. Honestly, I feel bad about what I did. I hadn’t meant to show off to others, just Taz. It didn’t even dawn on me somepony else might see. With a sigh he nuzzles my neck and we start walking together, side by side this time.

It’s funny, when I was behind him I felt self-conscious over my own wants, and when I was in front of him I couldn’t help but show off, wanting to drive him wild. However, when we walk side by side, my wing wrapped over his back, I feel… fine, happy even.

The warmth of his fur pressed against my own, the feel of his heartbeat through his skin, the count of his breath as he breathes in and out, all of it. It all relaxes me. It makes me not worry about anything else.

I don’t know if it’s having the same effect on him, I can only truly tell by his heartbeat. Near the end of our journey, even though we’re about to approach the throne room, I feel it slowing down. I know now, it is. He feels the same.

Given, I still want him to mount me and rut me like a wild animal, but it’s just not as overwhelming as it once was.

I can't wait until we get to do it again. His touch, the feel, everything, It was all amazing. The only relief I have is that it shouldn’t be too long until we can.

Well, unless this just goes really bad… I brushed that thought off, he can nullify magic and I almost defeated an alicorn. What could they really do to us?

They could hurt him…

I pause, stopping dead in my tracks. I know the thought is ridiculous. I know that his parents are not the type. I know that they’d never do anything to hurt their own son. Still… now that the thought is in my head, I cannot-not think about it.

“Nighttide!”

The shout causes me to look up. What I see startles me to no end. The three guards are pinned against the walls, shadow spears almost piercing their necks. My power’s acting of its own volition, responding to my subconscious desire to protect Taz.

I’ve never lost control like this, never. But… but I’ve never had anypony I’ve cared for either.

He extends his ability and the shadows fade away into nothing. The three guards fall to the floor, two of them grab their spears and point them at me, the third lies still, unmoving.

I have no idea if he’s dead or alive.

Taz steps out from my wing and intercepts them. “Here’s the deal, you forget about this, get your partner to the infirmary, and I’ll forget about that little stunt on the way up here.”

I see them consider their next actions carefully. With a nod one of them moves off, heading to do what he can for their fallen partner.

“Nothing like this happens again,” the last guard says.

“Deal,” Taz replies.

I wish I feel half as confident as he sounds.

“I’m here for you, and only for you,” he whispers in my ear, “Everything, I mean everything will be okay. I promise. I’ll protect you, I swear it.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” I say under my breath.

He nuzzles into my neck, leaving little kisses along my fur as he works his way up to my muzzle. When he finally gets there, he kisses me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I greet it, but I can’t put any real enthusiasm behind it. When he pulls back there’s a frown on his face. That frown only makes me feel worse.

“Hey, I survived Tartarus to find you; I think I can survive a conversation with my parents.”

That causes me to laugh a little. I know it’s stupid, I know I’m worried about nothing, I guess I just needed to hear it. My laugh causes Taz to smile; his smile causes me to smile. “You’re right,” I say.

“Trust me, I won’t get used to it,” he says with a grin.

“You’d better not,” I reply back as I nuzzle into his neck one more time.

“Let’s get this over with, I’m not done with that flank yet,” he nibbles on my ear one more time and I swoon, I never in my life thought I’d swoon at anything, I’m just not the type, yet here I am, swooning.

When he lets my ear go, he moves around to take his spot under my wing. As we start walking again I do my best to ignore the blood drops on the floor from the guard taken to the emergency room.

The closer we get to the throne room, the more nervous we both get. I can feel him start to slightly shiver at my side and my body is doing the same. I trust him, his promise; but I don’t trust his family enough to not take everything into account.

I do notice one strange thing, him being nervous gives me something else to think about, something for me to focus on, to do. I hold him tighter in my wing and press my muzzle against his fur. He stinks, just like me, but it’s our smell. It’s us.

“I’m right here,” I say. It’s amazing to me. I was freaking out, I lost control of my powers over just the thought that something might happen to him, yet, now, even though the situation is the exact same; I feel fine.

I know why, it’s because I’m focused on him; I want him to feel better, to not be worried. I can put aside my own fears, my own problems, and just focus on him.

My words seemed to help him as he stops shaking as much; he merely gives me a nervous smile and keeps walking. Together, we reach the door to the throne room and push it open with our hooves.

The sound it makes is rather ominous. I’ve rarely been in the throne room but from what I can remember it’s never squeaked like that. Looking into the room I see Twilight and Rainbow on the thrones, both of them are looking at us. However, of note is the fact that only Twilight seems surprised by how we’re standing.

Rainbow just grins at us, that alone is shocking, I know she saw us last night. I thought she’d be pissed. The way she’s looking at us now leads me to believe that I pegged her all wrong.

That thought does remind me of one thing I forgot to tell Taz.

“Taz,” I whisper in his ear.

“What?” he asks.

“You should know that Rainbow saw us last night.”

“She what?!”

“Prince Taz and Nighttide, as ordered,” the last guard states.

“What happened to the other two?” Twilight asks.

“They…” I see Taz glaring at him; “fell down the steps. Just a minor accident but I sent them to the infirmary just in case.”

I really do feel bad about that. It’s never happened to me before.

“Very well, you’re dismissed,” Twilight says.

“Princess, are you sure?” he asks, looking around.

I look around too, it’s then I notice something odd. There are only five ponies in the room. If we tried something… if I did something, nopony could hope to stop me.

As my gaze falls back on Taz, I shake the thought off. I’d never do anything like that, not again, not unless he asked me to anyway.

Twilight nods once more to the guard, he sharply saults, and then turns to leave. As the door shuts my ears fall back to my head in a minor hope to preserve what hearing I have left.

“Remind me to get that fixed,” Rainbow says as she rolls her eyes.

“That’s not important right now,” Twilight snaps at her in a surprising move before turning back to us.

I can see that she isn’t too happy about the whole situation. I doubt the way I’m holding Taz under my wing is helping things either.

“Taz, I told you that you can’t visit her in her cell, I told you that you’re not going to live down there with her.”

I can’t say I’ve ever seen – or for that matter – heard of a time when Princess Twilight Sparkle lost her temper. Seeing it now, it’s so much worse than I ever imagined it to be. But what surprises me the most is the scowl Taz lets out towards his mother.

“And who said you get a say in it?” he asks. His question causes Twilight’s jaw to drop.

I look at him, and then back at her. However, it’s what I see behind her that really has my attention. The cyan mare on the throne is actually smiling at her son’s words.

“I’m your mother!” Twilight shouts.

“Really, ‘cause you're sure as hell not acting like it,” Taz replies without missing a beat.

I can tell Twilight is flabbergasted at that. She tries to say something but Taz cuts her off.

“Here’s the facts mom,” he says as he leaves my wing. I’m sad to see him go but I know that he’s doing this to make a point.

“I cannot be targeted with magic, I cannot be affected by magic, and when I choose to be, I cannot be seen or barred from anywhere. You can sentence her to whatever you wish, and she’ll go. She won’t escape, she won’t fight back even though she could, and quite easily at that.”

He completes a lap around his mother at the end of that.

“Do you want to know why she won’t try to escape? Because wherever she is, that’s where I’ll be. You… you both taught me to keep my promises, to be a stallion of my word. Well, I promised I’d be by her side from now until the day I die. I love her mom, I want to marry her, to start a family with her, and I will. Her fate is my own; whatever you do to her, you’re sentencing me to the exact same thing.”

At the end, he returns to my side. I feel his heart pumping a mile a minute, yet his words betray none of his nervousness, none of the apprehension he no doubt feels about what he just said.

“She made a mistake, but she did it for me, so she could be with me. Who here hasn’t done something stupid when they thought they were about to lose the one they loved?”

Twilight Night and the mega-rainboom, I’ve heard about these things, but I never thought he’d actually used them against his parents like this.

I watch as Rainbow jumps down from her throne and moves over to Twilight. Rainbow sticks her muzzle next to Twilight’s ear and whispers something. It’s low, too low for even me to make out.

Twilight’s face goes through just about every emotion it can show. There’s shock, anger, fear, disbelief, sadness, happiness, sorrow, yet at the end it stops on… I don’t know…

“Nighttide, step forward,” she commands.

Her voice is monotone, devoid of any sign of life.

I start walking forward and Taz comes with, just like I knew he would.

“Just Nighttide,” Twilight says.

He looks like he’s about to argue against that until Rainbow shakes her head no. We both see it and he gives me a last, questioning glare. I nuzzle into his mane once more and nod when I pull back.

I’m not afraid. Something’s changed, something's different. I just don’t know what.

As I walk forward Twilight gestures for me to follow her to the other side of the room. Every step I take feels heavy, almost as if my body weighs a ton. Part of me knows why, every step I take takes me that much further away from Taz.

Are they going to try and do something?

Just as I’m about to turn back I see Rainbow out of the corner of my eye. She gives me a rather conspicuous wink. When I turn my head back I see that Twilight didn’t even notice. Somehow, that makes me feel better about the whole thing.

She starts as soon as we’re both far enough away as not to be overheard. “Tell me about my son.”

I’m taken aback by that. “What?” I ask.

She blinks twice before sitting back on her flank. “It’s a simple enough request, tell me about Taz.”

“I… I… I don’t know what you mean,” I say, my mind just cannot wrap itself around this request.

Twilight closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Nighttide, I’m Taz’s mother, I gave birth to him, raised him for thirteen years. That over there,” she points to her son who is busy talking to Rainbow, “That’s not the colt I raised. That’s a stallion. I want to know about him, about this new Taz. I want you to tell me everything you know about him, everything you feel about him, in your own words.”

“Everything?” I ask.

“Everything,” she answers.

I understand what she wants I just have no idea where to begin. Should I start at the beginning, when I first met him? Should I skip all that and just tell her about the time we shared in Tartarus? Should I just fill her in on everything we did last night? Should I do it all? I just… I just…

My eyes move of their own violation. When my thoughts turned to him my eyes couldn’t help but do the same. I see him, I see him looking back at me. Our eyes lock together as we simply stare at each other. A smile crosses his face that proves to be infectious. My face soon copies his goofy grin and suddenly… suddenly the weight of all of this just doesn’t seem to matter. Almost like it was just brushed off my shoulder by his smile.

I turn back to Twilight. Her request makes all the sense in the world now.

“He’s the nicest soul I’ve ever met in my life. He always has the best intentions to others. He always tries to do the greatest good for the greatest number of ponies. He’s kind, loyal, generous, fun, and honest. I love him, I love him with all my heart, and somehow, even though I don’t deserve it, he loves me back. He’s devoted to me, mind, body, and soul. As I am to him.”

There’s tears falling down my eyes but I just don’t care.

“Last night, you and he?” Twilight asks.

I nod, “It was our first time.”

Her eyes grow wide at that, but she says nothing. She’s just thinking.

Finally, it seems like she reached a decision. “Taz, Rainbow!” she calls out.

Both ponies start walking over to us as Twilight clears her throat.

“Nighttide’s crimes would see her in jail for what she did, but you’re right, Taz. We’ve all done things for the pony we love.” Rainbow walks up to Twilight and nuzzles her at that. Twilight looks both annoyed to be interrupted and grateful for the touch all at the same time.

I suspect she’s had years of practice pulling off that look.

“I see it now, I’m sorry I didn’t earlier. I do believe you two love each other, but there’s still the matter of the law, Taz. Even with the circumstances of what’s come before, I won’t bend the law for anypony. However, the punishment is still my right to decide.”

Taz walks over to me, defiance on his face at whatever punishment his mom might dish out.

“Prince Taz, I am hereby releasing Nighttide into your custody. You are now responsible for her actions. Any crimes she comments will be reflected upon you.”

His mouth falls open at that as he tries to comprehend this turn of events, “Wait… does this mean?”

Rainbow nods at him, “As long as you both keep your noses clean, you’re free to be together.”

“And you’re okay with that, us sleeping together I mean?” Taz asks. I think he just wants clarification.

Twilight answers this, I could tell Rainbow was about to reply with a ‘hell ya’, but Twilight beats her to the punch, “To answer your question, no, I’m not okay with it. However, I also know that I cannot stop you. So… if you’re going to… sleep together, there’s really no point in fighting you over it.”

Taz pounces on me, he forces me to my back and our lips lock in a kiss.

“Although, for the love of Luna, please take a shower,” Twilight says as she rolls her eyes.

“Race you to my shower?” Taz asks.

“You’re on,” I reply back. It’s not a big shower, but somehow that makes it all the more exciting.

“That’s not what I meant!” Twilight yells out behind us. It was too late though, far too late.

He almost knocks the door down as he runs out of the throne room. I follow with a smile on my face. However, as soon as I round the corner I pause as I catch the outline of a fleeing unicorn out of the corner of my eye.

One I recognized: Ana

Her message was left for me on the wind.

“This isn’t over, I’ll fight for him.”

Author's Note

The greatest treasure in life is the one you love. For with love you can achieve the impossible, you can truly live your life. However, for every two that get together, there is one that gets their heart broken.

***

Well friends, we’ve reached the end of another story. For those who were wondering, this right here is the reason why I did not get these two together in CoD. They deserved their own story, their own adventure.

As our first attempt at first person active voice we’re interested to know how we did. Were you able to follow Taz and Nighttide’s perspectives easy enough? Did you like it? Should we never do it again?

What happens next will be… interesting. For starters ScratchnTavi is running several of her own stories. Twidashforever is working on a new story, something different from TiM which is turning out great so far.

There’s a side TiM story in the works, one that occurs between A life lived and Best of Intentions. However, that may be canceled. He’s not sure yet.

The second half of CoD is planned but will not be started anytime soon. You should expect it to start around Oct-Nov time frame.

Until then you can expect more co-works between Scratch and Twi, more one-shots, and maybe a few new side stories.

Until next time,
Twidash on!
Twidashforever and ScratchnTavi

To Thine own self be True

Chapter five: To Thine own self be True

Celestia’s Palace

I’ve never understood the concept of vandalism before. It’s just the random destruction of property that serves no real purpose. It’s always seemed, at best, wasteful. Now I understand it. As my good back hoof kicks out and I send a priceless bust of Princess Celestia flying across the hallway to shatter on the wall, it finally dawns on me why some ponies vandalize things.

It feels really damn good.

Right now there’s a trail of destruction in my wake. The guards are forced to watch as I destroy everything I can get my hooves on.

The destruction could be worse, it could be a lot worse, but the pain in my back right hoof and left shoulder prevent me from putting my full strength behind my actions.

Still, I make do with what I have.

I give another kick, another object that some sculptor spent months on shatters in a million pieces. The sound of it breaking, and even the pain shooting up my leg, it all helps me think about something other than what happened in there.

It’s not working.

I know that all of this is nothing more than pointless vandalism that the unicorns can easily fix. If anything, I’m just dragging out my recovery.

I’m acting like a bucking foal and I know it.

Suddenly my wounds hurt that much more. The memories are back in force. I’ve done nothing but put them off and now they’re back with a vengeance.

I look back as I hear a pony approach. My eyes linger on the mess I made. I feel worse now; my actions are that of a damn colt throwing a temper tantrum. I slump back against the wall and await the inevitable. I know I’m in trouble; as I deserve to be. I won’t run though, I’ll face the music.

My eyes close as I hear the pony approach. I don’t really want to see who it is. I should have guessed the guards would get one of my moms. The only real question is: Which one?

“Damn, Taz. Letting off a little steam?”

I smile at that, of course it would be her. “Maybe,” I say as I open up my eyes. Rainbow is sitting right in front of me, her hoof extended in a peace offering. I take it, using it to help myself back up to all four legs.

“It’s not over,” I say as I move past her, hobbling down the hallway.

“You wouldn’t be my son if it was,” Rainbow says matter-of-factly as she presses herself to my side in order to help support some of my weight. For a moment I expect her to wrap a wing around me. Then I remember the truth, she can’t.

Yet another thing I promised I’d fix. Yet another promise I might end up breaking.

“Why?” I ask as she leaves me with the distinct impression that she’s not going away anytime soon.

“Why what?” she asks.

“Why did she do that?”

“Oh, that, right. Taz, Twi is just worried about you and all of Equestria. We went in half-cocked and got our flanks kicked, badly. She doesn’t want anything bad to happen again, much less to you.”

“It’s not Nighttide’s fault,” I say.

“Isn’t it?” Those two words earn her a death glare from me. “Hey, calm down, I’m on your side, remember? I just want you to think about it, try and see things from her perspective for a change,” she says as we continue together down the hallway.

“Her perspective can take a flying leap off a cliff for all I care,” I reply sourly. The only perspective I care about is that my mom had the mare I love arrested. What else matters?

“I know you feel that way now, but-” We stop walking when I raise a hoof right in her path, interrupting whatever she was about to say.

“No buts, mom. This is… this is something I know, something I can feel in my heart. When I was down there, when I closed the portal, Eros sent Cadance to me, she was the one that enabled us to escape. She said that what I did down there was an act of true love; one that even a God took note of. I know I’m young and you all probably think I don’t know what I’m talking about, but… but I love her mom. I know that she loves me too. I will be with her, always and forever.”

I look into my mother’s eyes as I say the next part, “I’d make ten more trips into Tartarus for her. For her I will stand up against everypony.”

There’s a long pause; she then smiles at me as she presses her muzzle against my own. “I believe you,” she says as we start walking together once more.

“Can you convince Twilight of the truth?” I ask, hopefully.

“Oh no, that’s your battle to fight,” she snickers.

“Mom!” I’m about to pout again when I hear her laughing at me.

“Don’t mom me, you love her right?”

“Of course.”

“Then fight for her, keep fighting until you win. If you want Twi to see the truth; you’re going to have to make her see it. You’ll have to make her see that she cannot separate you two. Think of it like a challenge; you know the reward if you win, so you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to go the distance.”

“I already went to Tartarus and back for her.”

“Then it would be pretty lame to call it quits now, huh?”

“Mom, please don’t use words like lame.”

“Hey, when I was your age… Oh Luna, I just said that, didn’t I?”

“Yep,” I say as she rubs a hoof through my mane.

“Listen here you little numbskull. I’m not the greatest at giving advice and in your horseshoes I’d probably be charging the prison full steam; not that I recommend doing that by the way. But we happen to be related to some of the smartest ponies I’ve ever known in my life. If you want to show Twi how you really feel, to convince her that she’s wrong, you’re going to have to be smart about it. So why don’t you ask some ponies with a little experience?”

“Like who?” I ask as I look over to her.

“Them,” she gestures down the hallway. I see then where she led me; she led me straight to the medical wing of the palace. Through each door is a different family member I can ask for help, and maybe, just maybe find some way to get Nighttide back.

“Thanks, mom,” I say with a small smile.

“I know you can do it, Taz,” Rainbow says as she turns away and starts heading back. “And don’t worry; I’ll have the hallway cleaned up before she sees.”

I lower my head and my ears press flat against my head at that.

I watch her leave and then turn around to look down the hallway. The first door on the right is my niece's room, Vela’s. I know I can find my oldest sister there as well; after all, where else would she be? Down the hall from that is Night’s room. I do need to pay her a visit and at least let her know I was successful. I’m pretty sure she already knows I’m back.

Across from Vela’s room is the twin’s, I need to deliver the message to them about what happened, what Cadance wants them to know. Between Flash and Night’s room is Dayspring’s. I’m pretty sure I can find Radiant Star there as well.

“Well, let’s see what they say.” I make up my mind to start with Aurora. So I head to the first room on my right. Raising a hoof I open the door and walk inside.

What I see shocks me; Vela is awake and actually sitting up on the bed. Aurora is lying on her left side, little Dayspring on her right.

“Taz, nice to see you,” Vela says as she flashes me a small smile.

Her voice is weak, the voice of somepony still recovering from their injuries. Who should by all rights be asleep.

“Vela, how are you doing?” I ask the dumb question. I know how she’s doing, that much is obvious, yet I think you're supposed to ask that. I have no idea why.

“She woke up yesterday.” Aurora answers my question for Vela as she places a hoof around her daughter.

Dayspring crawls off the bed and hugs me. I welcome him and wrap my own hoof around his back. “I was so worried,” the little hippogriff cries a little as he says that. “You were gone for days.”

“Days?” I ask. Then it dawns upon me, “Time moves slower in Tartarus…” My choice to let Nighttide rest down there, she was asleep for hours. Every hour there was six and a half here. I didn’t keep the watch but it could’ve easily been ten hours. That would be over three days here.

“Is Night in trouble?” I ask Aurora.

She shakes her head. “There’s not much they can do to her. She’s stuck in bed already and while she did take it hard, she was relieved more than anypony when Ana sensed the portal open up.”

“I’ll go see her next,” I say. “But what abou-” A shaking head tells me not to touch on that subject. I look again, Vela is awake, but I can see the marks of dried tears running down her face. Siros’s Vengeance is still held tightly in her claw. I doubt she’s put it down yet. Part of me wonders if she ever will.

She’s not doing well, that much is obvious.

It’s strange to see her like this, from the few times I saw her I knew she was always so damn proud, so confident, and yet… yet now I don’t see any of that. I simply see a little girl that now has to grow up without her father. I hobble over and make my way up onto the bed. I wrap a hoof around Vela and hug her for all I’m worth.

She starts crying again. I can feel her sobbing on my shoulders as I hold her. There are no words, words are meaningless right now. Only actions count now and I chose mine well.

The room is silent for several minutes. Only when I feel her body stop sobbing, either because she was out of tears, or because she was too tried to keep it up, only then do I release her. She lies back with the oddest expression on her face, she’s smiling at me.

“Did you?” she’s unable to finish the question as she’s simply too tired to do so.

I don’t need to hear the rest though, “Yes, I found her, I brought her back.” I say with a smile.

I did that, that is my accomplishment, nopony else's.

“Where is she?” Aurora asks.

I frown at that. I knew the question was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. “That’s why I’m here,” I speak the words with my head held low; “Mom had her arrested.”

“You let that stand?” Vela looked at me, surprised.

“No, the royal guard that pinned me to the ground let that stand. Those fuckers are tough.”

“Taz said a bad word,” Dayspring said. Vela simply raised her right claw in a gesture for Dayspring to crawl up and lay by her side, an invitation he did not need two of.

“You’re trying to figure out what to do next,” Aurora said, it was not a question.

Even still, I nod my head to her.

“Tell me what happened,” Aurora says. I do, I recant everything I went through down there, even my run in with Cadance. They all look at me in shock at that. It’s a fantastic tale, one I think I’ll end up repeating at least once more before this is over.

“Starlight’s going to be so happy,” Vela says as she closes her eyes. I can tell she needs to get back to sleep. Dayspring’s already passed out on her side. “She always said you two were meant to be together.”

“That’s what I’m trying for anyway.”

I look at Aurora. She seems to be concentrating on something, her brow is creased and her eyes are closed. After some time she finally speaks up, “You know you owe mom an apology.”

I sigh, “When Nighttide is once more by my side, I’ll apologize; until then my words stand.” There’s conviction in my voice. I know I speak the truth and I know she knows it as well.

Aurora smiles at me, “Should I be jealous?”

I find myself chuckling at that. I almost forgot about that, about Night outing me the way she did. It wasn’t that long ago but it feels like a lifetime since then and now.

“You’ll always be more than just a sister to me,” I say as I look her in the eye. “However, even I knew it would never happen. I’ve always known but I couldn’t deny my feelings either. You’ll forever be the first mare I ever loved but Nighttide is…”

It’s funny, even after everything I did I still cannot find the words. Love just seems… inadequate.

She opens a hoof to me and I walk over to accept, careful not to wake up Vela who fell asleep sometime during my conversation with Aurora. Aurora’s grip feels nice, although it’s not the same as when I’m with Nighttide, that just feels… different.

“Who knew my brother would find his true love this early on. Especially with his little… quirks,” Aurora winks at me when she says the last word.

“True love?” I ask.

“Cadance used to tell me, she’d always say we’re all meant for one soul out there, be they young, old, mare, stallion, griffin, or whatever, there’s somepony out there that we simply resonate with. She called that one our true love. She also said that we’d always share some connection with that soul, even if we aren’t aware of it.”

“She told me what I did was an act of true love.”

“Your heart led you to her, correct?” she asks me.

I nod; it’s more or less correct.

“Then keep listening to it, it’ll tell you what to do.”

“You know that is criminally unhelpful, right?” I ask with a deadpan expression on my face.

She smiles at me, “Most advice is; however, I think if you follow this one it’ll lead you where you want to go.”

“Thanks,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You asked,” she replies with a smile as I climb off the bed, careful not to disturb any of the sleeping ponies.

“Sis?” I say as I turn my head to look back at her before leaving the room.

“Yea?”

“Thanks, you know, for not freaking out.”

She giggles at me, “To be honest I was a little flattered, although in the end it was Ataxia that helped put things in perspective for me. Plus I’ve done my own fair share of things before I found out how you felt that might be considered taboo, so I wasn’t in any position to judge.”

“Oh, like what?” I ask. I knew about the event in the forest, but this was new information altogether.

“I’ll tell you another day,” she says with a grin as she strokes her daughter’s head. “Maybe in a few years. But let’s just say I really do love preening.”

A small groan at being kept in the dark escapes me as I walk out the door. I lightly shut it behind me, careful not to be too loud.

My next stop is down the hall and to the left. When I open the door to my parent’s former bedroom the first thing that happens is a unicorn almost bowling me over in her rush to hug me.

“Taz!” Ana shouts.

“Hey,” I say back, blushing at how hard she’s hugging me.

“Grandma said we were to stay in our rooms, that we couldn’t come out until she dealt with whatever was coming through the portal. I knew it was you though, I just knew it!” Her tears make me feel bad about what happened. Ana has shed way too many tears over me already, these are just adding to it.

I’m forced to endure it a while longer as she refuses to let me go. Her grip hurts my shoulder but compared with how much pain I’ve caused everypony I can’t really complain. With a sigh I give in, letting her have this moment. I start to look around while she’s holding me. To my surprise Starlight is up. I see her sitting up on the bed looking at me with a smile. She’s still wrapped in a few bandages, but they’re nowhere near as numerous as before.

“Hey,” Starlight says in a dry voice.

“Hey yourself,” I say back, it’s one more thing I feel guilty about; they were all injured coming to rescue me. In a way it’s my fault.

No, it’s not my fault. I remember Cadance’s words. I have a heavy burden already, no need to add to that with self-blame.

On the other side of the room I see Night and Ataxia. Both mares are lying in bed looking at me with a smile. Well, Night has a smile and a look like she wants to kick my teeth in. How it’s possible to display both of those emotions at the same time I’ll never know.

“Ana,” I say as I look down at the mare that refuses to let me go, “I need to talk with Night.”

“Last time you said that you went missing for three and a half days,” she replies with a muffled voice and an increased grip.

“Little help?” I ask Ataxia.

She just laughs at me, “After what you put her though? Forget it; you deserve it for that little stunt with the portal.”

“She told you…” I look down at that.

“Taz, everypony knows what happened. You have no idea just how worried we all were; how upset you made everypony when you didn’t take your one way back. Night almost killed herself trying to open another one. It was Twilight that stopped her. And trust me, it didn’t go down easily,” she gives Night a glare. “Twilight had to throw herself on Night in order to stop her, plus or minus a few dozen guards.”

Night looked away from me at those words. I could tell they were the truth, regardless of how much I didn’t want them to be true.

That’s the thing about the truth, it has a way of simply being true, regardless if you want it to be or not.

“Looks like I owe everypony an apology,” I say with my head hung low. “Ana, I’m sorry that I made you worry, please know that I never meant to.”

At those words she finally releases me and wipes a tear from her eye. “I accept your apology.”

I was never in doubt that she would. “Starlight, I’m sorry you were injured, I know what happened was because you all came to rescue me. I just want to say I’m sorry you got hurt, and that I’m thankful for having such great friends.”

She smiles at me, it seems to cause her pain, but even still she smile.

“Ataxia, Night, I’m not sorry for what I did in Tartarus.”

That causes both of their jaws to drop and I see Ataxia starting to glare at me. “You little, unnerving piece of…” Ataxia almost goes off on a tirade, but Night’s hoof makes her shut up.

“I’m not sorry; given a hundred do-overs I wouldn’t change a thing. I made a vow to go back and find her, and I did. I simply needed more time to get all of her. When you opened the portal I had her body but not her mind. I had to close it so I could get her mind back. I’ll never apologize for that.”

Before any of them could speak again I raise a hoof for them to stop. “I do want to thank you though, sis. I know what you did couldn’t be easy, I know it took a lot out of you, and caused you to get in trouble with mom. So let me say thanks, thanks for believing in me, for allowing me the opportunity to fulfill my promise. I’ll always be grateful for that, and… and I forgive you for what happened in the past.”

It’s funny, I’ve heard it said before that carrying around hate, that carrying around a grudge against what others have done to you can be the heaviest burden to bear, and that only by releasing that burden do we truly set ourselves free. Now… now I know it, I feel better by forgiving her.

I hope I can forgive my mom soon; I want to, I just can’t while Nighttide is locked up on her orders.

Night holds out her hooves to hug me, I hobble over and take the hug, enjoying the warmth I feel in it. She’s hot, I can tell that much. Part of me wonders, if she’s like this, just how much pain Timespire must be in. I hope tons; then again I’m sure he’s returning to Tartarus as often as he can to heal back up.

Assuming Red is letting him that is. If I had to guess I’d say he’s bucked.

“So where’s Nighttide?” Ataxia asks with her usual tact; that being none at all.

I don’t even have to turn around, I can feel Ana’s ears perk up at the mention of her name. “Mom had her arrested, that’s why I’m here.”

“Taz, I’m not going to break her out of her cell,” Night says.

“No, nothing like that. I’m pretty sure that she can escape on her own, yet she doesn’t. Or she isn’t trying to. I’m not going to let this stand though. I’ll do whatever it takes to set her free, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Why don’t you just take her and run?” Ataxia asks, earning herself a fetlock in the gut for that comment.

“I promised her a family; I want you guys to be it. If we ran, if I broke her out and we eloped, she wouldn’t have that. It would just break another promise and I won’t do that,” tears start to form in my eyes as I say those words.

“A family?” I hear the voice squeak out from behind me.

I cringe; it hurt to hear her say those two words like that. My head droops lower, my eyes shut. I can’t deny it anymore. It was pointed out to me that Ana loves me in much the same way that I loved Aurora.

Taking a deep breath I raise my head and turn around to look at her. Ana looks hurt, almost as if she’s been visibly struck by me. In a way I guess she has been. My next words may bridge that gap or break her heart, but she deserves nothing less.

“Ana, I-”

A hoof stops me, her hoof. She smiles a sad smile at me and wraps me in a hug, I can feel her breathing. “I know, Taz. I’ve always known.” She pulls back and looks at me. “I might not like it, but if it makes you happy, I will be happy. Please, let me have this though. Let me feel this at least one time.”

Her next actions shock me; she grabs my muzzle and pulls me in for a kiss. I feel the pressure she’s putting in it, I feel the love she has for me, but I’m not able to return any of it. I simply do not feel that way about her.

When she pulls back there is another tear in her eye, another tear she cries because of me. “What are you still doing here, you big dummy? Go, get her back.”

“Ana I-”

“After all, if she won your heart she must be a special pony. Now go. It’s okay”

“Ana…”

“Go!” She practically shoves me out the door. When it closes behind me I have no choice but to ignore what I hear on the other side. She breaks down sobbing. I have to ignore it or I’ll never leave. It pains me to do so, it truly does.

“Nighttide,” I say the word like it’s all I need to do, like simply saying it will cause her to teleport in front of me.

It won’t and she doesn’t, of course.

As I start to hobble back down the hallway I hear the one noise I truly didn’t expect to hear right now, laughter. It’s coming from my brother’s room. Ana may have stopped me from talking to Night, but I still need answers.

“What’s going on in here?” I ask as I push the door open. I see them then; Dayspring is sitting on his bed with Radiant. Together they’re watching Blaze perform his one-pony show for them. It’s a classic and I do hate to interrupt, but I kinda have something more important to discuss with them.

“Hey Taz!” Dayspring shouts out, Radiant just gives me a quick nod.

“Taz!” Blaze shouts out.

“Blaze would you mind getting your brother, I have something to tell you two.”

“Oh, okay,” Blaze says as he walks by me and off to the next room.

“You don’t seem too surprised to see me, Day,” I say with a smile at my brother.

“You forget Taz; I’ve been your mentor for eight years now. I knew you’d find a way out of Tartarus. Let me guess, Nighttide?”

I nod my head at that, “But not in the way you might expect. She… Cadance healed her actually.”

That got Radiant’s attention in a big way. “Mom, but…”

Again I find myself nodding, “She is, Eros sent her to me, she healed Nighttide’s wounds and that’s what let us escape. Also, Radiant, she gave me a message for you, and the twins.”

“Grandma?” I hear a voice from behind me. Turning around I see Flash hobbling inside. His movement is slowed by the cast, but it shouldn’t be too much longer until it comes off.

“Cadance said… she said it isn’t your fault, Radiant. She doesn’t blame you for any of what happened. In fact, she’s with Firestar and Shining right now. They all love you and they’re proud of you, all three of you. Flash, Blaze, she said that you should always believe in everything you do; that there’s no limit to what you two can accomplish. She also said they both miss all three of you.”

I look at Radiant before I say the next part. The last part of the message is a little embarrassing to say but I did promise. “Cadance also said that Firestar is especially proud of you and that she loves you dearly. She sends you kisses,” I blush a bit at that part.

“Was that really from…?” Flash tries to ask with tears in his eyes.

“Yes,” I say before both his brother and he hug me at the same time. Radiant soon follows the example of his sons.

“Thank you,” I hear Radiant say through my mane.

“She did so much for me; I wanted to return the favor. I know it’s not much but it was the least I can do.”

I can’t help it, I’m crying now too.

When they pull back, I actually miss it. It felt nice to be hugged like that. In a way, it reminds me of the last hug Nighttide gave me before…

My mood goes sour at that.

“So I take it mom had Nighttide arrested?” Dayspring asks.

“She what?!” Radiant shouts. His reaction somewhat surprises me, I figured he’d be on my mom’s side. Maybe I won him over by giving him the message?

“She did,” I speak the words through the final tears I shed. “I’m not going to let it stand though.”

“Oh?” Dayspring asks, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Something, dammit anything!” I shout as I kick back against the wall.

Pain, pain, oh sweet Luna, that was the wrong bucking leg to kick out with. I bite my lower lip and do my best to suck it up. I’m done crying, I’m done!

“That had to hurt,” Flash says with a sour expression on his face.

“You think?” I say through gritted teeth.

The next thing I feel is a sharp poke on my flank. Looking back I see a syringe surrounded by purple magic injecting something into me.

“Dayspring, what the hell?!”

“Relax, it won’t put you to sleep, it’ll just numb the pain. You could really use a bit of sense. I’m betting you were too hardheaded to let the docs give you anything.”

I’m not sure what was in the syringe but my leg feels better almost instantly. As he pulls it out and I rub the tender spot with a hoof. However, my leg already stops hurting. “Thanks,” I say with a slight nod.

“Now, about your issue with Nighttide,” Dayspring states.

“Yes?”

“I just have one question for you.”

“Yes, I love her, alright.”

“I already knew that.”

That takes me aback. “Then… what’s your question?”

“Why aren’t you with her now?”

He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Like the solution is simply that easy, as if to say, ‘if you want to be by her side; then go be by her side’.

“Twilight locked her up,” I say the words, not knowing what will come next.

“So? When has a locked door ever stopped you?”

My mind goes empty at that… I really cannot think of anything to say.

“So?” he restates with a bucking smile on his face.

My mind draws a blank. I can’t think of any reply to that, nothing that I cannot shoot down anyway. It can’t be that easy though, it just can’t.

Can it?

“I… I…”

I’m stumped at that, it’s not that easy, or is it? Could it be just that simple? Just go to her, stay by her side. Make my mom face the fact that she can’t separate us. Nopony can see me if I don’t want them to, nopony can stop me from going where I want.

“Taz?”

I hate him, I truly do. How can he have seen something so easy when I’ve been wracking my brain with it ever since…

“I think you broke him,” Radiant says with a laugh.

“Anypony home?” Flash says as he runs a hoof over my eyes.

I close my eyes and release a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding. I notice the sun is starting to go down by the shadows playing across the floor. With a smile on my face I look up. “Thanks, Sun-, brother.”

“Anytime,” Dayspring says as I look inward, finding my power.

To me nothing changes, to them I’m gone, I simply disappear, almost like I teleported away. Part of the fun of being me, part of me being special, and now I’m proud of it.

I know where I’m going. I’m going exactly where my heart wants me to go, and not even the Gods themselves can bucking stop me.

Author's Note

Accept what you can’t change, change what you can’t accept.