The Bloodmoon Chronicles

by Dropbear

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 19559

A seemingly invincible pony falls in love with a displaced, unstable, solider who is far from receptive to her advances. Oh, and she's red and black, too.

Nightblade Bloodmoon:

Half-alicorn, half-zebra, half-changeling. One-hundred percent awesome and irresistible.

Nigel M Chalmers:

Does not want anything to do with her.

Follow Nigel on his quest as he attempts to shake off Nightblade, while also navigating around a foreign world.

Join Nightblade as she attempts to woo him, aided by her mysterious powers of infallibility.

Wonder just how Twilight Sparkle will deal with not one, but two unknown creatures as they cause unintentional havoc upon a peaceful Equestria.

Laugh on as I sink to a brand new low as an author.

What more could you want?

(Twilight appears in the second chapter, as I saw the word count and just had to keep it.)

Published 2015-05-02 13:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-30 05:13:00 UTC

One of These Things is Not Like The Other

“I’m telling you, she’s the best pony ever! I worked on her for weeks, getting her backstory all right and everything!”

“I don’t know man, she looks kind of… well, terrible.”

“Hey, don’t you dare call Nightblade Bloodmoon terrible!”

“…That’s it Josh, I give up.”

In the middle of a dark forest, beside a solid stone pillar toppled over onto its side, a shape rose up from the murky gloom. A pair of eyes, one green and one blood-red with cat-like pupils, opened and blinked. The owner glanced around her surroundings with complete confusion. A black hoof touched a puffy red-and-black mane, coming away with a tiny trickle of blood.

Wincing, the figure got to its own four hooves and looked down at where it had been laying.

“That’s… odd.”

She felt strange talking, almost like it was her first time. But it couldn’t be, after all she had memories of doing it before. Granted they were fuzzy, but they were there.

Beneath her hooves was a large scorch mark, three times the size of her. Sniffing, she could smell brimstone and sulphur, finding it not unpleasant. Her eyes caught a flash of white, and she tilted her head while leaning down to look at it.

It was a perfectly rectangular piece of paper, lines of black words written on it. Examining it closer, she found the gloom no issue as she suddenly understood what the words said.

“Name: Nightblade Bloodmoon.”

‘Huh, guess that must be my name,’ she figured, reading on.

“Half-Alicorn, half-zebra, half-changeling mare. Two-thousand years old but doesn’t age, super-awesome, super-strong, faster than even Sonic (and we know he’s the fastest), everypony loves her and finds her amazing, long-lost sister of…”

Nightblade could feel herself changing while she was reading, her body feeling different. She felt stronger, faster, more beautiful, more… unique. Slowly the doubt and confusion at the situation changed, her face gaining a smile. Looking back down at the paper, she shrugged and began to trot away.

“I don’t need any paper to tell me how great I am,” Nightblade chortled to herself as she headed into the dark forest. “I already know that I’m awesome.”

“You have the right to beg for your life, before we shoot you. You have the right to plead to whatever deity you worship, before we shoot you. You have the right to lament ever being filthy pirates in my subsector, before we shoot you. You have the right…”

Khewzis tightened his grip on the silver weapon he had looted from the storage of the Lambian research vessel, watching from behind the upturned table as the external hatch was steadily being cut through from the other side while the muffled threats continued. His three long fingers were just able to fit around the trigger designed for a stubby set of two, his Captain unfortunately having shot the entire crew and staff of scientists who had been the previous owners. A shame, he was certain that one of them would have at least of been able to remove the pesky trigger guard.

The blue line swiftly cutting through the door neared the end of the heavy-duty lock, the strange white metal not able to withstand whatever device was being used. Looking to his left, Khewzis saw that the other fifteen members of the pirate crew were ready with their own weapons. They only had the standard laser weapons of their homeworld, he managing to be the only one to find an alien gun on the ship.

“That alien toy of yours better work,” his captain, Huzart the Black called out from behind a crate. “If not, I’ll sell you on the slave market.”
Contrary to his name, Huzart was not actually black. Like all Tremions he had marvellous green feathers and a red beak, but the colour was more accurate in describing his twin hearts. When they had taken over the ship back in the last system, the crew had been swiftly put to the laser gun despite their easy surrender.

‘Could have used them as shields,’ Khewzis thought sourly. ‘Those fat little furballs aren’t good for much else.’

Any further thoughts regarding the previous crew were forgotten when the lock on the door fizzled, the clamps releasing. Bracing himself, Khewzis peered over the table with his looted gun at the ready. With any luck, it would be able to splatter whatever law-enforcement was awaiting on the other side.

“Ready, boys!” Captain Huzart yelled while waving his energy cutlass. “Nobody takes ships from the Lime-Flyer gang!”

Khewzis ducked behind his cover when a solid boom filled the narrow corridor, the circular hatch door flying off its hinge and bouncing off a wall. The solid hunk of metal came to rest on the floor, and he peeked up again to see what foe they faced.

Out of the billowing cloud of smoke advanced a bipedal black form, blue eyes piercing through the smog. It was a little shorter than a standard Tremion, even in its armour, and Khewzis was easily able to identify the alien.

‘Humans,’ he realised, frowning while more of them stormed the corridor with more care than their apparent leader. The grey-armoured ones with large, rectangular energy shields he could identify as regular space-borne human troops, but the one in black was a different matter. For one, instead of the practised entry being performed by the regular troops, the unknown merely walked out like he was invincible.
“Shoot them!” the Captain ordered with a fierce squawk.

Lasers shot out from the defended positions, Khewzis waiting to see if they worked. Unfortunately the red beams dissipated when they hit the large shields sheltering the main party of boarders, and seemed to merely scorch the armour of the creature in charge. In turn, return fire flashed out, blue energy bolts striking cover and the surrounding area. He was largely ignored, not having fired at all yet. That was soon to change, Khewzis leaning out to take aim at the laughing leader.

“Yo Ho Ho!” the black-armoured human chortled over the din, its large side arm blasting a hole through a crate and the chest of a pirate. “And a bottle of-“

Khewzis fired.

His gun glowed a brilliant pink, sparkles showing up briefly in his vision and a loud twinkling sound filling his ears. A wave of energy shot out of the squat barrel and smacked the insane alien leader in the chest plate, Khewzis wondering what would come next.

Instead of an explosion, the beam blasting out of the human, or even worse the shot just bouncing off, his mysterious weapon’s shot seemed to completely obliterate the biped. One second the creature was mocking them in their own language, the next it was gone. There was a slight cessation in the weapons fire, both sides equally confused to what had just happened.

”Good shot Khewzis!” the Captain cried out, both sides shooting again. “Get another of them!”

He would have been happy to comply, but unfortunately the humans had other ideas. All of the human soldiers stopped shooting once again and took cover behind their shields, two small cylinders flying out over them and heading towards the line of barricades.

‘Well, at least I got one,’ Khewzis mused, before the grenades exploded mid-air to shred him and his fellow pirates apart with thousands of metal balls.

“-Rum!”

The human in black armour finished his sentence a split-second before slamming down helmet-first into an empty wooden cart, his bulk shattering it into splinters. Naturally, teleporting into existence horizontally and then falling two metres onto his face was a bit of a surprise. Taking a moment to regain his composure, he stood up from the wreckage and retrieved his side-arm from beside him.

Due to his method of arrival and the sudden lack of pirates and laser-fire, he figured that examining his surrounds was the best bet. Looking out through his helmet’s visor, Nigel M Chalmers was greeted with a sight he didn’t expect.

“Okay then, not on a pirate ship anymore.”

He appeared to be standing in the middle of a market place, a horde of brightly coloured equines staring at him with mouths agape. Okay, it was less of a horde and more around the number of eighteen, but the pastel coloured ponies still unnerved him. Still, he had pirates to slay, so he raised a hand and waved at the creatures.

“Greetings, I come in peace. Take me to your-“ he stopped himself, unable to follow through with the line. “Spaceport.”

There was no reply, so Nigel sent a command through his helmet’s computer to find the information on the race he was speaking with. While it searched through the lengthy collection of the United Imperium of Planets databank, he tried to get a better idea of the locals from observation.

The males and females were easily identifiable, the difference in body shape and muzzle length making it easy. The majority of them were naked save for some straw hats and the occasional apron, but that didn’t rattle him considering there were many species who either didn’t have normally-visible genitals or didn’t care if others saw them.

After all, one of his best friends constantly bragged about his retractable reptilian reproductive rod as if it somehow made up for his measly height.

On the topic of height, Nigel judged that the horses were averaging around his armoured thighs, with a few of the larger males reaching his stomach. They were all a variety of colours that he could only describe as ‘happy’, mostly rich earthy tones such as reds, greens and chocolate browns. In addition to the vibrant manes and coats, they possessed extremely wide eyes and child-like tattoos on their flanks.

‘So,’ he thought to himself while slowly lowering his hand. ‘They’re either extremely poisonous or have no natural enemies.’

“No match found.”

“Okay then,” he muttered to himself at the computer’s notification. “Search network, authentication code three-seven-nine-one.”
“No connection to external databanks. No local signals.”

‘Wonderful.’ He looked around again, this time focusing on the buildings. They were nice but primitive, mainly built out of painted wood and stone with glass windows. ‘Out of a galaxy where you bump into space-faring races every five minutes, and into the backwaters.’

“Hey,” he tried once again, hoping that by a longshot the horses spoke English. “You guys don’t happen to have a star-map of the local area?”
No response.

“A tourist brochure?”

Silence.

“… space-phone?”

Still nothing, Nigel trying a different tactic.

“Achung? Konichiwa? G’day Mate?”

Despite his moderate understanding of each of the main language groups for the UIP, all was for naught. Nigel was about to fire-off a barrage of greetings from his suit’s database, but then finally it happened.

One of the horses spoke.

Well, the large grey stallion didn’t really speak, it was more of a… nay. Still, this prompted more nays from the others, except these ones were hushed. The alternating lengths of the alien speech, the buildings, and their simple attire led him to believe that they were intelligent. Either that or there was a rogue animal collector with serious mental issues.

Setting his computer to decipher the language, he tried to keep the locals talking to help it along. “Okay, well, I guess we can all work with this. I just need you guys to keep on making horsy sounds so let’s hear some more questions.”

The grey stallion tilted his head to the side and made to speak again, but it wasn’t a nay that Nigel heard. No, instead he received a loud whinny right from behind him.

Slowly turning around with the intent of not startling the horses, Chalmers came face to face with a very pissed off mare. The yellow pony was pointing to his feet and naying angrily at him, short green mane bouncing erratically as she fixed him with a glare from narrowed green eyes. Looking down, Nigel saw the splinters and two wheels, wincing under his helmet before looking back up. “I take it that you own this wagon… or used to?”

His words seemed to only make her angrier, but thankfully she backed off and retreated to a stall.

“I’ll pay for it!” he called out to her, hoping to smooth it over. “I mean, I don’t exactly have sugar-cubes on me, but I’ve got some-“

His offer was cut short when the first tomato splattered his helmet with red juice, his suit optics briefly sizzling to clear his vison of the fluid.

“Hey, ma’am, there’s no need for that!” A second tomato striking his chest only highlighted the fact that there had been a serious breakdown of communications, Nigel dodging a third. As the forth and five flew towards him despite three other horses naying at the mare in what he suspected was an attempt to get her to stop, he began to get a little pissed off.

His day had been wonderful up until the present; he’d even gotten to help the navy marines from the outpost he’d been stationed on board a passing pirate ship. Hell, he’d blasted a bird-pirate away to space Davy Jones. Then, he’d ended up in the boonies and now his armour was covered with tomato guts, courtesy of the angry horse who still wasn’t letting up.

“I said stop, you crazy horse!” Fed up with the assault, Nigel raised his handgun towards the pony and took aim. Despite being irked enough to kill her, he was lucky enough to have a brief flash of clarity. Aiming instead for the tomatoes the horse was using for ammunition, he fired a single shot.

A hypersonic round shot from the large barrel and plunged into the midst of tomatoes, the volatile chemicals in its core causing it to explode a split second later.

The ponies panicked at the loud gunshot, the mare who had been attacking diving to the ground after being coated with tomato chunks. Still annoyed at having his armour soiled, Nigel’s eye twitched at the uproar of panicked horse noises. Raising his gun so the barrel was pointing up into the air, he shouted at them all. “Hey, she bloody started it!”

Not thinking clearly, Nigel fired a second shot.

The panic only increased.

“Wow, I’m drop-dead gorgeous.”

Nightblade Bloodmoon grinned at her reflection in the clear lake, the perfect image of a mare looking back at her. Her red and black speckled horn, sharp fangs, luminous red and green eyes, and striped coat were amazing. Turning to her left, she unfurled a large bat wing and examined the black membrane. ‘Awesome.’ Spreading the other one, she delighted in the large wingspan and the pointed claws on the points.
She also caught sight of another object of interest, a picture sitting on the side of a plump-but-not-too-plump flank. It was a pony skull and crossbones, Nightblade wondering what it meant. ‘My… cutie mark,’ she recalled, tilting her head before smiling. ‘It looks cool, so that must be my special talent: coolness.’

Checking her short tail, just long enough to hide her other notable features from view, she gave the black and red strands a swish.

“So sexy,” she giggled, before her ultra-sensitive bat-ears picked up a loud noise to her left. It was a bang, followed by another one a moment later. Getting the feeling that she was supposed to go see what the noise was, Nightblade ambled off through the forest without a care in the world.

No bush scratched her coat, and no branch waylaid her as she made her way towards the edge. She hadn’t even seen any animals or monsters save from some harmless birds in the trees. Making it to a gap in the forest where the sun was shining through, she peered out as another bang rang out.

“Wow,” she murmured, looking out across the neat fields of grass and flowers towards the small town in the distance. “I’m so lucky that there’s a town right there, and a nice one at that.” Whistling to herself, she left the forest and trotted merrily on her way. Her stomach growled, Nightblade thinking to herself.

‘I sure hope they have lots of yummy food, I’m starving!’ It was then that she stopped whistling, head lowering.

“But… I don’t have any money.” Her good mood crushed, Nightblade’s pace slowed and she sighed. “I’ll have to do some work if I want to eat, it’s either that or yucky grass.” Her forehoof struck out at a clump of the before-mentioned vegetation, turning out to be a bad move. The impact unbalanced her, tripping her over and sending her tumbling down the hill head-over-hooves.

Luckily she landed in a soft bed of flowers, Nightblade breathing out a sigh of relief when she realised she was unharmed. However, there was a strange feeling under her stomach, and when she stood up her eyes widened.

“Wait, is this-?” Effortlessly, she used her magic to lift up the black saddlebag, popping the clasp and peering inside. A black hoof opened the sack that was the sole objet inside, revealing a glittering pile of golden coins. “Money!” Nightblade announced with glee, before closing the saddlebag and placing it onto her back. “Now I can buy all of the food I want!”

Trotting and whistling again, a very pleased Nightblade reached the town without even breaking a sweat. Nopony greeted her, causing her to tilt her head and advance down the only cobbled path. “Hello?” she called out, glancing around her. “Do you ponies sell quadruple-choc cupcakes?” Apart from a few terrified eyes peering out of windows, she got no response. Frowning, Midnight rounded the corner and found herself in a market place.

Stalls and carts piled with fruit and vegetables were abandoned, a group of five ponies huddled down on the ground with their forelegs over their heads. They were whimpering fearfully, pitchforks and hoes abandoned beside them while a guttural grunting barked out. Looking towards the source of the noise, Nightblade’s eyes widened with awe at the sight.

It was an intimidating two-legged creature, covered with metal that was as black as her stripes with spots of red all over it. It was so tall, nearly as high as the top of the signs above the stalls. The strange speech sounded male, and Nightblade’s mind instantly identified it as such. He was waving some kind of object around while yelling, but it was his chest that she was drawn to.

For on the left breast was a small picture of a white skull with a third eye in the forehead.

She glanced at her own cutie mark and back towards the creature’s, her heart fluttering madly.

“We’re meant to be together,” she murmured, a wide smile growing on her face. Then, she did a happy little bounce. She’d managed to find someone else who was red and black, and he was obviously angry, dangerous, and a different species that seemed to have no interest in making friends.

For some reason, it made a tingle shoot down her spine.

She had to have him.

“But no, tomatoes weren’t enough, were they? Then, you had to go and get pitchforks and farming equipment like I’m some kind of Frankenstein’s monster! I broke a god-damn wagon, and I’m bloody sorry about that, but you stupid horses won’t even stop whimpering so my arse of a computer can translate your stupid horse language!”

Continuing to rage, Nigel moved the barrel of his gun from one pony to the next. Each time the barrel passed over the stallions, they’d close their eyes and flinch back. Needless to say, Chalmers was quickly running out of patience.

“Come on, you… you… peasants! Nay some more! Speak! Hell, even begging for your lives could help!” He was only met with more whimpering, his finger tightening around the trigger. “I swear, if I don’t get some coherent speech in three seconds, I’m going to off you all and drag out another bunch of sorry saps!”

Starting with a brown stallion on the left, he pointed his gun towards the head. “One. Two. Th-“

“Nay!”

Just as he was about to make a very bloody encouragement, a red and black blur smacked into his side and tossed him onto the ground. Realising he was now on his back facing up, Nigel tried to sit up and positively dismember whatever had attacked him.

Unfortunately, he was pinned down with two forelegs firmly placed on his armoured shoulders. Looking up at his assailant, he stared at the small creature that had somehow managed to knock him off his feet despite him wearing armour that could take a rocket to the chest. To say that the rapidly naying abomination above him was a surprise didn’t really cut it.

Frozen with confusion, Nigel couldn’t look away as the monster continued to stare deeply into his optics while blathering on merrily. An attempt to raise the gun towards it was for naught, the single hoof somehow keeping his entire power-armoured arm from budging. His legs were likewise useless, the thing that he suspected was some kind of mare standing on them as well.

“You fucking what?” he questioned, recovering enough from his shock to address the attacker. Behind her, he could see the five ponies he had been on the verge of shooting rise up. Judging from the looks of utter confusion on their faces while they stared at the monster, he figured that it wasn’t exactly the norm for them either.

“Get off me!” he commanded, straining his limbs to escape. “I’ll skin you for a rug!” In return the mare giggled before restarting her nays, a smile plastered over her face. She had a set of sharp fangs, but it wasn’t her teeth or sharp horn that had him worried. No, his concern was saved for the look of what he could only guess was adoration in the mismatched eyes.

He desperately hoped that he was wrong.

“Look, uh, Miss,” he began, anger dropping from his tone. “I can’t really understand you, but I promise that if you let me go then I’ll leave town. Also, I certainly won’t just shoot you dead if you do. Okay?” The thing nodded before naying again, evidently having no idea what he had said as she leaned down and nuzzled the side of his helmet. That was the last straw, Nigel thrashing again.

“That’s it, you think that this is a joke!? I’ll gut you and send your-“

He was interrupted by another happy nay, Nigel preparing to unleash a tide of insults at the merry maniac.

“Translation complete.”

“-and then we’ll get married, have a wonderful honeymoon with lots of secret adult stuff, have a cuddly-wuddly baby, then have another…”
To be honest, he was stumped.

“The hell did I miss?” Nigel grunted, the mare standing on him gasping.

“You can talk!”

“Obviously,” he snarled back. “Even if I really shouldn’t be able to, considering the translator had squat to work with.” He narrowed his eyes, even if she couldn’t see them. “Now kindly get off me.”

The mare smiled sheepishly before leaping off to the side. “Oh, sorry,” she chuckled, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof and failing to notice Nigel aim his gun towards her. “I don’t really know my own strength, so I guess I have to be careful now that you’re my coltfriend.”
He paused. “I’m your what?”

“My coltfriend,” she repeated. “You know, my special somepony, my lovely lover, my ultra-special super-dooper cuddle-cutie.” She tilted her head. “You did say so, after all.”

Nigel actually threw up a little inside of his mouth. Swallowing the bile, he raised his left hand and counted off on his fingers.

“No I’m not. No. Hell no. I’d rather shoot myself.” All ‘coltfriend’ variations accounted for, he pointed at her. “Besides, my suit only started translating then, so there’s no way I could have agreed to that. I don’t even know your name.”

The pony puffed out her chest proudly, spreading her batwings out wide. “Nightblade Bloodmoon, most amazing pony in the whole of the world!”

Nigel nearly vomited again. Forcing it down, he turned his head to look at the brown stallion from before. The pony was staring at Nightblade with his mouth agape, but he looked at Nigel when he noticed the attention.

“Psst, is she… normal?”

The stallion shook his head, Nigel able to understand why he couldn’t find the words to reply. To be honest, even with all of the stuff he’d seen this still ranked among the highest on the ‘mind-fuckery’ scale.

“Oh honey,” Nightblade cooed softly. “Of course I’m not normal, I’m your very special marefriend.”

“Special is definably the word I’d use,” he muttered back, Nightblade too busy fixing him with a love-struck gaze to reply. It freaked him out, only the fact that he didn’t know what else she was capable of stopping him from putting a round through her skull. “Look, Nightblade,” he sighed. “I know you think I said I’d be your ‘coltfriend’, and I’m… flattered that you really seem keen, but I don’t think it will work out.”
Nightblade’s smile faltered. “But… you said you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your days with me.”

“No,” he said with the upmost conviction. “I would rather be placed alive in a vat of battery acid for the rest of eternity.” He waited for her to break down into tears and leave him alone, but the pony-abomination instead raised a hoof and smiled again.

“I get it,” she nodded wisely. “Your ‘translator’ is broken.”

“Actually,” the brown stallion finally found his voice. “I think he’s made it clear that he’s-“

“In love with me!” Nightblade cheered with a flutter of her wings, before looking back at Nigel. “Don’t worry my love, I understand fully. You can’t help what you’re saying, you’re still learning.”

Nigel’s eye twitched. “I’m still getting pretty sick of this shit,” he corrected. “What don’t you understand about ‘I would rather suffer extreme agony than date you’?”

“Oh no, it’s not me that doesn’t understand. You’re just saying the wrong things.” She sat down on her rump, her tail swishing. “That’s what I love about you, you’re so assertive and confident even when you’re wrong.”

“You’ve known me for less than ten minutes!”

Nightblade’s eyes fluttered as she sighed dreamily. “Best ten minutes of my life. I can only imagine how great it’ll be a hundred years from now.”

He’d had enough. Standing up, Nigel holstered his gun and looked down at the horse-monster that had attempted to claim him as a lover.
For whatever damn reason.

“Nope.”

Turning around, he started to walk down the cobbled road, leaving a stunned Nightblade behind.

She didn’t know what had gone wrong. For some reason, her coltfriend was leaving the town without so much as a goodbye. Had she been too direct and rash?

‘Of course not,’ Nightblade shook her head. ‘I’m perfect after all.’

It must have been something wrong with…

With…

“Whoops,” she huffed. “That’s it, I forgot to ask his name. Wow, no wonder he’s acting a bit strange.” She glanced around, only a single pony remaining. It was a brown-coated stallion with a tan mane, the same one who had tried to talk before. He was staring at her strangely. “What?”

“What… what are you?” He questioned, taking a slow step back. “That thing was terrifying, but you… you’re just confusing.”

‘Confusing?’

“I’m not confusing,” Nightblade retorted. “I’m a half-alicorn, half-zebra, half-changeling. How much simpler do you want it?”
The stallion blinked. “That doesn’t even add up.”

“Yeah, well…” she struggled for something to say. “You are the one who doesn’t add up, I am. I’m awesome you know, I’m smart, I’m pretty. You’re…” she looked him over, rolling her eyes at his colour scheme. “So boring and plain, not like my sweetheart.” She licked her fangs at the memory of her lover, the stallion’s eyes widening at her long tongue and sharp teeth.

He took another step back, smiling awkwardly at her while retreating. “Well, ah, good luck with that. I’m just going to… to get back to the farm. Bye!”

Nightblade tilted her head when he broke into a full gallop, the pony disappearing around the side of a store. Then, she remembered her rapidly disappearing coltfriend, and she broke into a hurried trot down the road he had left.

“Sweetie! I’m sorry I didn’t ask your name, wait up!”

Galloping, her hooves propelled her along the road at a breakneck pace. Searching ahead of her, she saw her target walking ahead of her. His back was towards her, Nightblade worried that she had hurt his feelings.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask you your name and that makes me a bad marefriend!”

‘Actually, I’m a great marefriend, you’re just feeling funny.’

“Bugger off, leave me alone you crazy thing!”

Closing the distance, Nightblade skidded to a halt in front of him and turned around so she was trotting backwards. Looking up to him, she tried to peer into the glowing blue eyes that were staring straight ahead. “I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.” She got no response. “What’s your name?”

“Nigel,” the biped growled.

“See, that wasn’t hard!”

Her encouragement caused him to stop, Nigel finally looking down at her. Figuring they were taking a break, Nightblade sat down on her rump and waved up at him.

Nigel in return moved his hand towards his side, a part of the metal sliding back. He then pulled out the L-shaped object he had been holding at the market, Nightblade staring into the black hole in the middle of it. “Oh, what’s that?”

“One chance,” Nigel muttered, the object moving closer. “This is your one chance. Leave, now, and I won’t have to shoot you. Normally I’d already have done this, but I believe I need some time to figure out my situation.” He took a step towards her, Nightblade wondering what he was doing. “Go on, leave.”

“But I can’t,” she explained, smiling at him. “Don’t you understand? We’re coltfriend and marefriend now.”

Nigel sighed, before shrugging his shoulders. “Fine, your choice. No-one can say that I didn’t warn you.” With that, his finger moved on the device, pulling the small thing underneath it. Nightblade tilted her head at his words.

“Huh?” she questioned while he looked down at the thing in his hand. “What do you mean by that?”

“The hell is wrong with this?” Nigel ignored her, pointing the object towards a tree by the side of the road. Nightblade winced and folded her ears down at the loud bang, the tree gaining a smoking hole through its trunk. Before she could ask what had happened, Nigel turned the loud thing back on her and once again tried to use it.

Nothing happened.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he groaned, Nightblade looking back up to see him place a hand over his head. “Please tell me that this isn’t happening.”

She could tell that he wasn’t happy, despite the unmoving face of his. Moving closer, she did the one thing she thought could solve the problem, hoping to get her one-of-a-kind coltfriend back to his cheery self.

Moving closer, she embraced him around the legs, nuzzling his metal thighs to calm him. “There, there. It’ll all be okay. I’m here for you.” Moving her head away to look back up at him, she gave him a warm smile. “See? There’s no need to storm off like before. I’m so proud of you for staying this time.” Hugging him again, she failed to notice his hands clenching into fists.

“Actually,” he replied slowly. “I’m currently trying my hardest to kick you, but for some reason my armour has decided that now is the perfect time to lock up.” Nightblade felt the tiniest tremor in the legs she was hugging, but she paid it no mind. “Let go, now.”

Releasing him, she got to her hooves and beamed. “Ready to go again?” She only got a stare in response. “Where are we going, by the way?”
Nigel didn’t tell her, instead he started to walk along the road in silence. Sighing and rolling her eyes, Nightblade followed along steadily.

‘The things I do for him,’ she thought to herself, hooves clacking on the cobbled path while they both headed towards the east.

She was still following him, following him without rest. He didn’t know what was wrong with her, but he was one-hundred percent certain that she was insane.

“Of course, out of all of the planets to be marooned on, I manage to find one with an obsessive stalker. One that’s apparently immune to anything I try.” He glanced back after his muttering, not surprised to find his tormenter trailing along behind. She wasn’t even puffing, an oddity considering that the sun was about to sink below the horizon and they hadn’t stopped at all.

There were of course other concerns. He’d tried to stab her, but his knife had constantly slipped from his grip before impact. Shooting her had no effect, his gun either jamming only to shoot as normal once he’d pointed it elsewhere, or the trigger not moving at all. He’d even shot a tranquilizer dart into her, but rather than knock her out it had seemingly filled her with energy. He half-suspected that she was some kind of prank his bosses were pulling on him, but even they weren’t that cruel.

“Hey, it’s getting late,” the thing commented from behind him. “We should find somewhere to stop for the night.”

“Tired?” he grumbled, not even bothering to throw in an insult.

“Nope!” she answered. “But you’ve been going pretty slow for the last few hours, so I bet you are.”

Resisting the urge to turn around and smack here, guessing that his hand would fall off or some other nonsense happening, Nigel instead veered off the road towards the fields of grass beside it. Spotting a knoll breaking up the flat landscape, he made his way over towards it without looking back.

It wasn’t a large hill, but it was big enough to hide him from the view from the road. Not bothering with a fire or anything else, he sat down with his back against the mound just as the sun suddenly dropped down and the moon came up. ‘Huh, that’s pretty damn odd.’
Unfortunately he had no time to ponder the cosmic oddity, the abomination sitting down beside him but thankfully not touching him.

“I’m hungry.”

“Then eat some grass.”

“No! Grass is icky!”

Closing his eyes for a few moments, Nigel opened them gain before turning towards her. She looked up at him hopefully, forelegs between her splayed out hind ones. “I don’t have anything for you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?”

His eye twitched. “Yes, yes I am sure.”

“Maybe you should check just in case?”

“I swear to god! Okay then, let’s check to see whether I have any pony feed on me!” He opened up the internal sidearm holsters on each side of his torso armour. “No food in here!” The small thigh compartments were next, only revealing medical supplies. “Zilch!” Next was the chest storage area, Nigel making an exaggerated check. “Nothin…”

“What? Did you find something?” Nightblade’s tail swished.

“Yeah,” Nigel muttered, passing her the oddly-placed and strangely fresh plastic-wrapped sandwich. Nightblade took it from him and eagerly unwrapped it, devouring the food with satisfied munches.

“Mmm, peanut butter and jelly, my favourite!”

“Well, wasn’t that lucky,” Nigel mumbled, not focusing on her annoying sounds at all. No, what interested him were the cylinders and rectangular blocks packed into the storage, the high explosives almost like a gift from the gods.

‘Soon,’ he thought to himself, closing the compartment and leaning back. He didn’t even brush Nightblade off when she placed a batwing around his shoulders. ‘Soon…’

Something was off.

Nightblade sleepily opened her eyes, still able to taste peanut butter in her mouth as she sat up and yawned. It was still night, a full moon shining down from above, and as she looked around she realised that she couldn’t see any trace of Nigel.

“Honey?” she called out, before noticing a weight around her neck. Moving her hooves up to touch it, she stared at the black rectangle after pulling it away from the rope. “Huh?” With it still in her hooves, Nightblade realised that there were more rectangles and cylinders under her legs and lying around her. “Gifts?” she wondered with a growing smile, raising the rectangle to her face in order to get a better look.

“As I walk through the valley of death, I fear no evil.”

Nigel stood in the bushes by the road, zoomed optics focusing on the pony licking the rectangle of plastic explosives in what seemed to be some kind of taste test.

“For I have strapped plastic explosives around the greatest evil in that valley.”

His finger mimed flipping the cap off a detonator, no need for one as the explosives were linked to his suit’s computer. Meanwhile, Nightblade was holding the block up to her ear.

“And I now throw it into the cleansing light.”

With his last line, he smiled and sent the detonation order.

The night sky glowed bright, a massive explosion sucking the surrounding air in before consuming the entire hill and field with a raging inferno. A fireball shot up from the centre, dirt and ash raining down while thick smoke filled the air. The massive boom would have deafened him if it wasn’t for his armour, pebbles that had previously been boulders pelting against the metal and bouncing off.

The heat alone scorched the leaves from nearby trees, blackening the once green ground.

Nigel basked in the warm aftermath, laughing to himself with his fists in the air. “Finally, victory!” Almost hopping from foot to foot, he gazed back out to the freshly made crater and felt a shiver of ecstasy shoot up his spine at sheer size of it. Nothing could have survived the blast, Nigel having used all of his high-explosives to ensure Nightblade’s removal from existence.

Feeling the need to gloat further, he strolled up to the lip of the crater while dancing around the flickering spot fires. It was over, sweet release from his torment arriving to save him none too soon.

Stopping at the edge and looking down, he almost fell into the crater thanks to the shock.

At the bottom for the twenty-metre deep hole, Nightblade was sitting on a patch of grass holding her left foreleg. A small gash about three inches long was visible in the fur, slowly leaking a small amount of blood. Noticing him, she looked up with a sniffle.

“Nigel, I’ve got a cut on my leg. It’s bleeding!”

Some Help is Needed

Boom

Twilight Sparkle shot up in her bed, wincing at the bright light that was coming in from her castle window. After blinking the spots away she checked her bedside clock, the time only ten-past-one in the morning.

With a grimace, she turned back to the window as the glow faded and the town below started to panic. It had happened in one of the far off fields, but it still was a concern thanks to prior incidents.

“Great,” Twilight grumbled, swinging her legs out from her comfortable bed. “Either the crusaders went on another camping trip, or some kind of monster is on the loose.”
Hooves hitting the floor, she took a second to prepare herself for the pandemonium that her fellow towns-ponies would bring.

“Either way, I get the feeling that this is going to turn out terribly.”

“Ow, owey-ow-ow. Ow.”

Nigel tried to ignore Nightblade’s complaints, the smoking crater left behind while he continued to walk down the trail with his fists clenched. It didn’t help that the annoyance in question was flying right beside his head, holding her foreleg out in front of his helmet to show him the small cut.

“Ow.” Nightblade uttered again. “Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow-“

“I get it!” he growled, throwing his arms up in the air. “It hurts, but it’s not my problem!”

She fixed him with a pleading stare. “Don’t you have a bandage, or a band-aid?” she whimpered, wincing when another drop of blood leaked out of the already-healing wound. “It’s still hurting, so badly as well. I can’t even walk, it hurts so much.”

“For something I can’t kill, you sure bitch a lot over a small cut,” he muttered under his breath, before glancing down to the compartment in his armour that held his medical supplies. “I don’t have any bandages or band-aids,” he lied to her with a shrug. “I guess you’ll have to just tough it out.”

“But it hurts!”

Rolling his eyes, he returned to his tactic of ignoring her and just walking down the path without comment. She still followed, although at least she was keeping her foreleg to herself.

Nigel’s pace increased when he spotted possible salvation, a town visible in the distance despite the late hour of night. It was much larger than the one they had left during the day, a few lights on here and there but otherwise it seemed like most of the inhabitants were asleep.

He didn’t care if it was just another village of ponies, there was a chance that he could lose Nightblade within it and make good his escape.

Nightblade was too caught up in her injury to notice where they were headed, Nigel getting the perfect plan on how to ditch the irritating equine-abomination.

“Look… Nightblade,” he struggled out while pointing to the town with a finger. “A town.” She looked up at his words. “How about we take you to the doctor and they can look at that cut for you?”

“Really?” she asked with a tinge of excitement. “You’ll take me to the doctor? Will you hold my hoof when we get ther-“

“Don’t push your luck,” he grumbled, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Okay, maybe after then.”

‘Oh, there will be no ‘after’ once I ditch you,’ thought Nigel with a smile.

“Maybe,” he lied.

It worked, Nightblade’s whining replaced by a hummed tune that was only slightly less annoying. She still continued to fly next to him, but they’d made fast progress and were already at the edge of the town.

Nigel ignored the lines of thatch-roofed houses, a big red cross near the centre of the town catching his eye. Making a bee-line towards the symbol of a place of healing, the navigation of the town was easy given the wide roads. Nightblade continued to follow him all the way towards the building that hosted the cross, Nigel stopping in front of it with his hopes rising.

It actually looked fairly modern, with twin sliding glass doors and artificial lights. He could just make out a reception desk inside, but there was no-one to be seen around. It wasn’t just the chance to ditch Nightblade that improved his mood, however.

‘Maybe that last town was just the boonies,’ he hoped while walking towards the entrance of the hospital. ‘These guys might know a little more.’

The doors opened for them with a gentle hiss, Nigel heading straight for the reception desk. He went to ring the small silver bell that was placed upon the counter, but paused when he noticed the pony.

What he assumed was a mare was sleeping softly in her chair, her white coat and pink mane curiously fitting for her profession. A small white cap with the same red cross sat upon her head, and what seemed like a home decoration magazine was nearly falling out of her limp forehooves.

“Wow…” Nigel turned his head to see Nightblade peering up at a light. “So weird…” Gritting his teeth, he took a chance and reached out to grab her around the torso. “Hey!”
Not bothering to explain, he first attempted to use his armour-enhanced strength to crush Nightblade’s ribcage.

‘That’s what I expected,’ he lamented silently, upon finding his hands unwilling to follow his orders. Going for plan b, he forced Nightblade to sit on the top of the reception desk. The impact of the ample rump caused the small bell to topple over and jingle, Nightblade actually going quiet at the surprise action.

“Huz-uh?”

The white mare awoke with a start, blinking her pink eyes open and looking around. Deciding that his presence wasn’t needed and eager to make his escape, Nigel pointed towards Nightblade.

“Help her.”

With that, he let go of Nightblade and ran for the doors, his unwanted complain too shocked to move.

Unfortunately he was going too fast for the doors, the glass barriers only managing to open a crack before he outright collided with them.
Glass shattered as he rammed through, both mares behind him wincing and folding back their ears.

His armoured boots cracked the cobblestone and made a loud racket, the sound echoing through the early-morning air along with his victorious laughter.

He had done it.

He had escaped the abomination.

‘Now all I have to do is find a good spot to hide and wait it out.’

Nightblade tilted her head, trying to puzzle out why Nigel had left in such a rush. The two magic doors were currently making squeaking sounds while they tried to close, however that wasn’t going to happen when most of the glass and the frame was lying shattered on the floor. The cool night air blew in, ruffling her mane slightly.

‘Maybe he’s getting me breakfast?’ she wondered. A hopeful smile grew, and she nodded to herself. ‘Yep, that’s it! Wow, I’ve got such a wonderful coltfriend!’
Her tail swished while she imagined all of the tasty food that Nigel would return with.

“Wh- what just happened?”

Turning back to the front, Nightblade smiled down at the new pony. “Oh, my coltfriend just dropped me off to get some treatment, and he’s just left to get me breakfast.”
“Coltfriend? Breakfast?” A stare was given towards the mess that had been made. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yep!” she replied, before waving a hoof in dismissal. “He’s always doing stuff like that, he loves me that much.”

The disbelieving stare was directed towards her, the pony hesitating before speaking again. “Uh, okay then. I’m Nurse Redheart, and you are…?”

“Many things,” Nightblade began to list. “Cool, beautiful, awesome, amazing-“

“I meant your name.”

“Oh, it’s Nightblade. Nightblade Bloodmoon.”

Nurse Redheart winced and flinched, but then made an attempt to smile. “What a… lovely name.” She gave her a look over, a visible shudder going through Redheart.

‘Must be the cold.’

“You said that you needed treatment?”

Nodding her head, Nightblade held out her foreleg. She’d actually forgotten about the main reason for coming the hospital, and admittedly her pain may have been a little exaggerated for attention.

The cut itself was already crusted over with the beginnings of a scab, but still the nurse sighed and left her chair. “Please follow me into the doctor’s office. He isn’t in but I can dress that wound for you.”

Smiling in thanks and flapping her wings to fly down from the desk, Nightblade failed to notice the nurse first flinch at her fangs and then at her bat-wings. Taking care to keep her weight off of her injured leg, she followed Redheart towards a small wooden door to the left. Trotting in once the door was opened for her, she looked around the large office.

There was a bed with white sheets in one corner, a cluttered desk opposite that, and the wall was covered with many different posters of pony anatomy. Making her way to the low bed, she eagerly searched all of the surrounding pictures. There was earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, and even a diagram of a bat-pony, but none that remotely matched her. Wondering why they had missed such a wonderful example of the equine race, Nightblade sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for the nurse.

“Here we go,” Redheart spoke, turning around from an open cabinet on the wall and trotting over with a small first-aid box. She placed it on the one free spot on the doctor’s desk and opened the clasps before withdrawing a small brown bottle. Nightblade watched her flip up the top cap warily, the nurse’s apologetic smile setting her on edge. “Now, this is going to sting a bit but will get rid of any germs.”

“O-okay,” Nightblade hesitated, before holding out her foreleg.

She wished that Nigel didn’t have to leave to get her breakfast.

“Keep still.”

“Ah!”

She had to fight the urge to snatch her foreleg back, snapping her eyes shut when the liquid hit the cut.

Only to open them again when she realised that there was no pain at all.

“There,” the nurse continued, putting the bottle back on the bench before fetching a roll of white bandage. Nightblade frowned at the bright and neither-red-nor-black material, but figured that requesting a darker and grittier dressing would be more trouble than it was worth. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No,” she agreed, flexing her leg. It was still smarting a bit, but she was sure that it would be better soon. At the current time, she had other matters to attend to. Bloodmoon left her seat and regained her hoofing, her eyes glancing towards her saddlebag. “How much?”

The nurse seemed taken aback. “How much? Healthcare is free in Equestria, you don’t need to pay a single bit.” Redheart tilted her head. “Everyone should know this, and even the yaks have the same model.”

“Well I didn’t know,” she huffed. Heading towards the door, Nightblade paused a looked back. “Thank you, anyway.”

“It’s my job,” Nurse Redheart returned with a nod. “Just don’t come back too soon. We don’t really like having repeat customers.”

Nightblade furrowed her brows and tried to figure out if she had just been insulted, but quickly dismissed the thought and gave the nurse a smile.
“Oh, okay. Thank you again!”

With that, she trotted out of the room and left Redheart to pack away the bandage roll. Her hooves made funny crunching noises when they stepped on the glass that had been the main doors, and she continued out into the early morning night air.

“Ah,” she sighed with content, revelling in the wonderful darkness.

‘Wait, I can’t leave just yet. Nigel won’t be able to find me if I walk off, he’s not really very smart, after all. I better wait for him.’

She looked around and spied a plain wooden bench just ahead, and with no other alternatives she made her way over towards it. Her rump was soon plopped down into it, and her forelegs placed between her outstretched hind ones to support her sitting up.

With a smile on her face and a hummed tune on her lips, Bloodmoon settled down to await the return of her amazing and loyal coltfriend.

‘What could have possibly caused such… such…’

Twilight stood and stared at the massive crater that had been rent in the field. Around her were a few scattered groups of townsponies, consisting of the more curious and brave. There were hushed whispers and fearful muttering, the sudden and violent appearance of the crater made that much more terrifying by the absence of all knowledge of what could have caused it.

Twilight was quickly running scenarios over in her head, but even with her vast wealth of experience and intellect she was unable to come up with a useful explanation. Her horn glowed and the crater was bathed in a soft purple light, her eyes scrunching in concentration while the crowd went quiet.

‘There was a huge amount of force… in a single area no bigger than a rug… and there’s also…’

Her eyes shot open wide and the glow died out, her jaw dropping at what she had found.

Or rather, what she hadn’t found.

“No magic?” she squeaked, the crowd remaining silent while they listened in. “How is that even possible? There has to be something!”

Her horn began to glow again, but she was interrupted.

“Princess?” Twilight whirled around, Ponyville’s dentist standing behind her. Minuette glanced back at the rest of the gathered ponies, before refacing her with a gulp. “What’s happened, are we in danger?”

Twilight tried hard to form a reassuring smile, but she had never been one for subtly. “Ah… everything is fine, everypony. Still, can you please all return to town and stay there until I sort this out.”

“Is it another… monster?” a mare she recognised as Roseluck questioned with a gulp.

‘I’m not sure, but given this town’s history…’

“At the moment, no.” Her answer prompted the ponies to relax somewhat, and so Twilight continued. “I suspect it may have been some kind of meteorite that broke up when it landed, or some kind of magical accident. Don’t worry, I promise you all that I’ll find out for sure what happened. Trust me, everypony.”

Evidently it was enough to waylay most of the crowd’s fears, and Twilight sighed with relief once they all turned and trotted back off towards town with murmurs still circling wildly. With the area relatively peaceful, she refocused on the crater and once again prepared to examine it magically.

Her horn lit up and she scanned it, eyes once again narrowing in frustration.

“Nothing.”

Another scan.

“Nothing!”

Once more.

“There has to be something here!”

She finally stopped, a glare on her face while she glowered at the problematic crater. ‘Maybe I just need a quick break, and try again in a few minutes.’

Twilight was not going to allow the puzzle to best her, and so she sat down on the grass to wait with her thoughts.

‘Why in this field? There’s nothing around except Ponyville and the Everfree. ‘

“Woah…”

She looked up, a hovering Rainbow Dash very visible despite the darkness of the morning. Rainbow was fully focused on the crater, before the eyes turned to her.
“Twi, did-“

“It wasn’t me, I’m trying to figure out what caused it.”

“I hope it’s not another monster,” Rainbow yawned while she landed down next to her. “It’s bad enough that the bang woke me up, but if we have to fight something this early…”

“I haven’t seen anything, let alone a monster,” Twilight reassured, but glanced around anyway. “In fact I can’t even tell what made this crater. I’m actually considering that it might really have been some sort of meteorite.”

“A meat-e-what?”

Twilight resisted the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. “A met-e-or-ite, it’s when a rock from space falls to the ground.” Glancing back at the crater, she shrugged to herself. “It’s starting to seem like the most logical idea, given there’s no trace of a monster and no magic at all. What else could have possibly caused this?”

Rainbow shrugged with a yawn. “Dunno. Anyway, if there’s going to be no monster or nothing and it was just a space-rock, then I’m sure a nerd like you are okay to look after it.” She flapped her wings and took flight, hoof rising to her mouth for another yawn. “I’m going to go back to sleep. Later Twi.”

Twilight waved a hoof in response, knowing that Rainbow was pretty much right with her assessment. “Bye, see you later today.” With her friend departed, she glanced back at the crater and bit her lip in thought.

‘I have some books back in the castle about space,’ she recalled. A slight feeling of pride welled up when she recalled that many had been written by the Royal Astrologer, her father. ‘This isn’t the first meteorite to fall in Equestria, if it’s a meteorite, so reading up on it can never hurt.’

With that thought and a nod, she flapped her own wings and soon lifted off to soar back towards town.

It was an easy trip, and in no time she was angling for her bedroom window. Still not quite as confident (some would say reckless) as Rainbow Dash, Twilight took great care to slow her pace before entering her royal abode.

After all, it wouldn’t look good as the newest Princess to miss the window and end up sliding down the outer wall with a few less teeth.

Hooves landing on the soft rug that covered the stone floor, her horn lit up and set alight to the many candles that dotted the walls and desks. The warm glow of candlelight chased away the darkness, Twilight immediately making her way over to the massive bookshelf that rested against the wall opposite her bed.

“Let’s see, Astrology…”

She briefly considered waking Spike to lend her some help, but dismissed the thought. Lucky enough to now have his own room, the young drake would be irritable enough when awoken in the morning.

Besides, Twilight soon caught sight of the blue cover that she had been searching for, her magical grip pulling it out from its brethren.

‘Amazing Astrology: Asteroids, Meteoroids, and Meteorites. Second Edition.’

Smiling at the golden title, she flipped it open and turned around to trot to her desk by the window.

“Here we are. Meteorites are usually found in the northern craters during the- ah!”

The book flew from her grip and thumped down upon the bed as she tripped. With the grace of a lumbering diamond dog, Twilight came crashing down to have a very intimate conversation with the rug.

“Blak!” she spat out a hair, and shook her head to clear her mind. Without getting up, she looked behind her to figure out what had caused the latest embarrassment.
He heart froze at the sight of the two black things that were sticking out from under her bed, evidently covered in hard metal if her throbbing hind leg was anything to go off. They both ended with a vertical bit sticking up, the shiny surface eerily reminding her of black changeling carapace. She definitely didn’t recall them being there when she had gone to investigate the crater, Spike was in Canterlot visiting Celestia, and considering the circumstances…

“H-hey…” she scrambled to her hooves and retreated to the bookshelf. “Whatever you are, come out now.” There was no response save for a muffled grunting, Twilight standing her ground and charging her horn with a spell. “I’m warning you! Come out from the bed with your hooves or tentacles in the air, I have a grapefruit-transfiguration spell and I’m not afraid to use it!”

She stared at the two metal limbs, her bed shaking slightly as whatever was concealed beneath it shifted.

“Bugger off!” a harsh male voice hissed at her. “Stop making so much noise, or she’ll find me!”

It was admittedly a reply that stumped her.

“Who will find you?” Twilight found herself asking before she reconsidered her priorities. “Actually, never mind that, please remove yourself from under my bed.” There was no response, her eyes narrowing. “Now.”

“Alright, alright.”

She took another step back and continued to charge her horn while the creature moved out from his hiding place. Twilight repressed a shudder when it stood up, the rather huge and armoured biped quite intimidating while towering above her.

Still, it wasn’t the first horror she had faced, and so she stood her ground and refused to show how nervous she was.

“No sudden moves,” she warned with a pointed glance towards her horn.

“Like what you can do can possibly be any worse than what this accursed place has already thrown at me,” the monster replied with a cross of his arms. The grating voice was accompanied by the glare of pupil-less glowing-blue eyes. “What do you want?”

“I want you to get out of my castle.”

“No, it’s the safest place here.”

Twilight gave him a pointed look-over. “What could something like you possibly be scared of in Ponyville?” Her horn’s glow died out, the monster evidently not looking for a confrontation. “In fact, most of the ponies would be terrified of you.” She went back over her sentence. “No offence, of course.”

“You don’t get it. Even the very insinuation that I’d ever be afraid of small horses is absurd.” He must of noticed her frown. “No offence, of course.” He raised a very minotaur-like hand in the air and waved it around. “No, you just don’t get the utter abomination that awaits me outside. Something like that shouldn’t exist, it just shouldn’t. I doubt you can even comprehend the horror that lurks, a foul beast that your tiny horse-mind couldn’t even process without shutting down in fear.”

Resisting the urge to point out that he was the one who had been hiding under a bed, she pushed the irritation at the insults to the back of her mind and instead focused on getting the facts. Despite the unusual situation she had found herself involved in, all of this talk of a monstrous abomination from such a harsh creature was certainly a matter of concern.

“Okay, hold on for just a second,” she replied with a hoof raised up. “As a Princess of Equestria I will help you with your… problem, just a few conditions.” Her gaze was focused to get her point plainly across. “First, stop with the insults. In Ponyville we try to be nice to each other. If you want help then you have to behave like anypony else. Secondly, we are not ‘horses’, we are ‘ponies’. The way you say ‘horses’ sounds very much like a… bad word.”

“I-“

“Thirdly,” she cut him off. “You will listen to what me and my friends say so you don’t go and cause a panic in the town, do you understand? The last thing that we need is for a big, rude biped to be running around harassing everyone.” Her glare narrowed. “And no more breaking into ponies’ houses, either. Got that?”

It was admittedly a tad more harsh then she’d like to think she normally was, but Twilight had learnt during the last year that sometimes you have to be firm with some ponies. However, unfortunately it seemed to have backfired.

“Who said I needed help?” he scoffed, unblinking eyes never leaving her. Twilight continued to stare him down.

“The fact that you hid under my bed says so.” He didn’t say anything, so she pressed on. “If what you say is true about there being a dangerous creature after you, then that means that Ponyville is in danger as well. I might even have to ask the others for help in case we need the Elements of Harmony.”

There was a snort. “Elements of what-now?”

“Harmony,” Twilight repeated, failing to pick up on the mocking tone. “Surely you have heard of them? They’re only the most powerful magical artefacts in Equestria, possibly in the whole world. If anything can defeat an evil monster, it will be them.”

She waited for him to say something else, the monster still staring at her.

“Magical artefacts,” he muttered, his arms uncrossing. “You threatened me with a spell before as well, didn’t you?”

Twilight relaxed her glare. “I did, but only because I wasn’t sure of your intentions and-“

“I don’t care about that,” he cut her off. “You have magic, yes?”

“I do, I am an alicorn after all,” she nodded, although silently she wondered just what manner of creature didn’t know what an alicorn or the Elements were. She kept the thought to herself however, watching while the creature appeared to think to himself as well.

The biped glanced down to the numerous objects at his side before sighing and visibly slumping.

“Fine, I’ll accept your help and I’ll try not to scare your entire town to death. But, I expect that you’ll be able to actually do something to that… thing. I’m not being nice for no reason, you know.”

“That works for me.” Realising that she had forgotten something, Twilight relaxed and smiled up at him for the first time. “I’m sorry, but I got a little caught up before. I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal student. Also, I am one of the four Equestrian Princesses, but I’d prefer it if you just called me Twilight.”

“Nigel,” he returned with notably less enthusiasm. “Nigel M Chalmers. Unfortunately, not a Princess of anything.”

Twilight smiled at the joke, while going over the rather… unthreatening name in her mind. After all, she expected something along the lines of ‘Bloodthirst Kill-all the Destroyer’ going off his appearance.

‘Silly,’ she shook her head. ‘Of course no pony would have a name as bad as that one.’

Glancing to the clock and noting the still-early hour, she shrugged and tilted her head. “It would probably be best that we at least wait until sunrise before waking the others. Do you want some tea or coffee? My assistant Spike is away visiting Canterlot, but I am capable of boiling water without him.” Twilight smiled hopefully. “We should save the details about this monster until we meet with the others, but you can still tell me about yourself.”

She couldn’t tell how the idea had gone over thanks to the unreadable blank face, Twilight then wondering whether ‘Nigel’ could even consume tea given his apparent lack of a visible mouth.

“Tea?” was the reply, with far less venom than before. “Talk about… myself?” His voice actually seemed to brighten at the end. “Fine, I will accept your offer of hospitality. But don’t forget that eliminating that monster should be your first priority.”

“Of course,” Twilight reassured, gesturing towards the door as she mulled over his words in her head.

‘Eliminating? That doesn’t sound too good…’

“And lastly, this here is Rainbow Dash.”

Nigel stared out through his optics at the fifth new horse that he was faced with, a half-drunken cup of tea in front of him. The admittedly half-decent beverage was possibly the reason why he didn’t immediately question the eye-rapingly garish colour scheme she had, possibly combined with the hope that the equines would be able to defeat Bloodmoon for him.

He glanced down at the wooden stool he was sitting on, the soft purple glow around it apparently a ‘reinforcement’ spell that was keeping the furniture from snapping under his bulk.

Chalmers looked back up just in time to be met with a pair of magenta eyes trying to stare right into his optics, the inquisitive owner barely a hair’s breadth away.
“Hey Twi,” ‘Rainbow’ asked while neglecting to back up. “Are you sure we should be helping this ‘Chalmers’ guy?” She squinted at him. “He’s kind of weird. Like… ‘something that we’d fight’ weird.”

“Now Rainbow Dash, let’s not insult Twilight’s guest.”

Turning his head away from the flying cyan horse, Nigel saw that the speaker was the white unicorn at the opposite end of the table. He recalled her name as ‘Rarity’, and she uneasily reminded him of the posh wives of planetary governors and the like.

“While he does seem quite… impressive of stature, if Twilight is confident that he is a friend, then that is enough reassurance for me.” She flicked her curled mane with a hoof. “And besides, Commander Nigel M Chalmers sounds very refined.”

“Sheesh Rares, at this rate you’ll be trying to make him free clothes and all,” orange horse ‘Applejack’ drawled with a roll of her eyes.

“I was just attempting to show some hospitality, Applejack. Really, am I to be the only one with any manners here?”

Nigel had had enough of the bickering. The only other horses left was the one sitting quietly sipping her own tea, Fluttershy, and the very suspicious ‘Pinkie Pie’ who was sitting in her seat impatiently with a wide grin.

“Can we just stop this talking?” he interjected. “I hardly think that this little session is really going to get us anywhere.” Nigel thought for a second, before turning his head to face Rarity. “Although I do appreciate the recognition about my refinement, thank you.”

“My, how polite,” she murmured in response. “Once we solve this little matter of a monster, you should visit my boutique. No offense to Twilight, but I have the finest tea leaves imported specially from the zebra isles. Surely one such as you would appreciate some of the finer things that life has to offer.”

Unseen by them, he raised an eyebrow under his helmet at her words.

‘Where is this going?’

“I must admit,” he leaned forwards slightly. “I do have some rather… exotic tastes.”

Unfortunately for him, she didn’t get it.

“Exotic? Oh no,” she dismissed after some confusion. “I get my Zebrican tea from a supplier in Canterlot, it is the latest trend after all. Really, it’s quite common place.”

“That wasn’t what I was…” he sighed, being met with six clueless looks. “Forget it.”

‘Guess I can’t even distract myself with some flirting, wonderful. Curse them and their naiveté.’

“Uh, okay?” Twilight glanced to the others before refocusing on him. “Anyway, aren’t you the one who wants to stop the talking?”

“Well yeah, but I hardly see you lot doing anything of use.”

“Um, excuse me…” Everyone turned to look at the pony that had spoken, Fluttershy tapping her forehooves together. “But do we actually know what sort of monster is threatening the town? I mean, is it a changeling?”

“A dragon?” Applejack asked.

“Two dragons?” Rainbow said with a tilt of her head, earning a sideways glance from Applejack.

“Oh! Oh! Or, maybe it’s a changeling riding a dragon!”

Silence reigned briefly while everyone stared at Pinkie, Nigel leaning back at her wide grin and manic glint in the eyes.

“Uh, no…” he answered. Sighing, he placed his hands on the table and exhaled. “What I’m about to tell you may chill you right to the bone. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He took another deep breath, the ponies all leaning in with wide eyes. Twilight even had a notepad and quill out to take notes.

“I first met the monster in this small farming town. I was having some… difficulty with the locals and as such was negotiating an agreement. Then, this thing takes me by surprise and tackles me to the ground!”

“Tackles you?” It was Rainbow that spoke, the pegasus flying up and hovering around him. “You? What, is this thing the size of a house or something?”

“Ah… not quite.” He decided for the sake of his ego to skip the rest of the details of that little encounter, and instead moved on. “Anyway, this thing is as black as night, with stripes the colour of fresh blood.”

“Sounds like a real meanie,” Pinkie breathed with a frown.

“It is,” Nigel nodded. “No matter what you throw at it, this thing just won’t die!” His fists clenched at the memories while the ponies gave each other concerned looks. “You shoot it and it doesn’t die! You stab it and it doesn’t die! You try and kick it to death and it doesn’t even flinch because your legs don’t even move!”

“Um,” Fluttershy began. “Are you sure that we should be trying… to kill it?”

Nigel didn’t even hear her. “It just doesn’t die! I even blew it up when it wasn’t expecting anything and it still… didn’t… die!”

“Blew it up?”

He turned towards Twilight, ready to educate the unicorn on the sheer inability to be killed that their quarry possessed, but he paused at her pale face.

“You said that you tried to blow this monster up. Was it you that left that massive crater in the fields outside of town?”

The others, save for Rainbow, looked around at each other with confusion. “Uh, what’s this about a crater?” Applejack asked.

Nigel tossed up between lying and telling Sparkle the truth. From the looks of it the equines had already discovered his handiwork, and given what he had learnt about them they probably wouldn’t be too pleased about him running around blowing holes in their planet. On the other hand, what were they going to do about it? He needed to see if Twilight’s magic would work at destroying or at least weakening Bloodmoon, but apart from that they were of little concern.

“Yep,” he confirmed with a nod. “Surrounded it with enough high-explosives to level a city block, but nada.” Nigel ignored the concerned looks that they were all sharing, and he didn’t know if it was in regards to the news of the Abomination’s toughness or if the explanation of his own actions was sitting ill with the six. “That’s why I need you lot to have a go at it, maybe with your pony magic will stop her reign of terror.”

“I’m sure that we’re all as concerned as you are about this creature,” Rarity reassured, before leaning in. “But, did I mishear you or did you refer to it as a ‘she’?”

Placing his armoured hands on the table, Nigel stood up.

“Come on, I better go and show you it so you can better understand.

‘Maybe he’s lost in the town. He’s not that… well, bright after all. At least not when compared to me.’

Bloodmoon bit her bottom lip and continued to swing her hindlegs out in front of her while she sat on the bench. Hours had passed since she had last seen her wonder lover, and townsponies were emerging from their houses and going about their early morning business.

She failed to pick up on the worried stares they all gave her when they passed, her mind solely focused on her current troubles.

‘No, I’m sure he can’t be too lost. It’s a pretty small town after all.’

Nightblade glanced down when her stomach growled, a frown crossing her face while she rubbed it with her forehooves.

“Don’t worry tummy, I’m sure Nigel-wigel will be back real soon with some yummy food.” She glanced up and around the busy square. “He must be close, I can feel it.”

“There it is. Be careful to be quiet, who knows what god-forsaken senses it possesses.”

Twilight stared at what Chalmers was pointing at, the human’s voice a whisper while they all crouched behind a pile of barrels.

She couldn’t believe it.

“Uh, you know that’s just a pony, right?”

Rainbow summed up their thoughts pretty well, Twilight narrowing her eyes and scrutinising the seemingly-harmless mare sitting on a lone bench.

“I’m telling the truth!” Nigel hissed. “She’s a blight upon existence, you haven’t met her!”

“This is so stupid.” Twilight looked up as Rainbow took flight with the grumble. “I was woken up early for this?” She lazily started to fly towards the mare in question, Nigel freezing in his place.

“Wait, come back!”

It was no use, Rainbow easily reaching the object of his woes and landing down upon the street to talk to her. Twilight watched with baited breath in case Nigel was right and there was some hidden horror, but she relaxed after a few moments when it was evident that Rainbow and the unknown pony were just conversing.

“You know, I don’t really see the problem here,” Twilight said to him, neglecting to whisper. “She does seem to just be an ordinary pony.”

“She’s not ordinary at all,” Nigel growled back. “It’s impossible to harm her, I even tried to shoot her right in the head and the bloody gun jammed.”

“About that, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” It was about time to bring it up. “Could you maybe not, well… try to blow anypony up anymore? It’s not really something we do around here, you know.”

His response was pretty much what she expected.

“You don’t want me to blow up ponies?” He leaned in over her. “Then you’d better stop doubting me, and get to magicing that thing-“

“Hey, check her out Twi!”

From around the barrels came Rainbow, a look of wild amazement in her eyes. Twilight followed the gesturing hoof towards a fang-filled smile.

‘Oh sweet Celestia…’

Fangs.

Bat-wings.

Mis-matched eye colours.

A long and jagged horn that would put Queen Chrysalis to shame.

‘Is Nigel right?’ Twilight wondered with her previous relaxation upon the discovery that the monster was a pony well and truly faded. ‘Something like this has to be evil, just look at it!’

Rainbow Dash however was far from concerned. “This is Nightblade Bloodmoon, can you believe that? I mean, a name like that-“

‘Is like something out of a nightmare.’

“-is so amazingly awesome!” Circling Bloodmoon, Rainbow pointed features as she talked. “I bet she’s real good at flying as well, with wings this big. Hey Bloodmoon, want to race and see how you do against the fastest flyer in Equestria?”

“At least Rainbow seems to have made a friend,” Twilight muttered with a glance back to the others. Judging from the hesitant looks the rest of her friends, even Pinkie, were giving each other they too had doubts about Bloodmoon.

‘Gah, I feel dirty just thinking that name,’ she winced. Glancing towards Nigel, she made to ask for his input before she noticed the way that he had gone stock still. Turning back to Bloodmoon, she took a step back at the monstrous smile that was directed at the human.

“Nigey-Wigey!”

In a feat that Twilight knew was physically impossible for a pony, Bloodmoon seemed to spring from her spot and fly without using her wings. With a solid thump, she landed right up against Nigel with her forehooves over his shoulders and her hind legs around his waist.

“Cursed thing!” Chalmers yelled, however he seemed unable to move or push her off.

“Oh, I missed you too Sweetie.”

‘Huh,’ Twilight realised while they all watched Bloodmoon lovingly nuzzle the livid human. ‘Suddenly things make a whole lot more sense…’

Science and Races

Twilight sat and watched while a muffin was devoured, and brown crumbs flew all over the table that they were sitting at. Mr Cake, who had at first been petrified of the large, sulking biped that had reluctantly entered the store, was now instead opened-mouthed at the utter devastation of Sugercube Corner’s entire breakfast selection.

‘She certainly has the appetite of a monster,’ Twilight silently thought while her own plain banana muffin sat on her plate ignored. Bloodmoon finished the current treat before a frosting-slathered bat-wing reached out to snatch a hapless lemon-frosted cupcake from the huge plate of baked goods that sat on the middle of the table.

Nigel was sitting silently next to Bloodmoon with no breakfast save for a splodge of pink frosting on his helmet, courtesy of the red and black abomination.

“Wow, this food is great!” Bloodmoon’s observation was followed up by another cupcake disappearing into her gob. Twilight’s stomach churned when another set of crumbs flew from the new alicorn’s mouth, and with a sideways glance she looked at Rarity.

True to form, the most refined out of her friends was watching the spectacle with a sour look on her face. Rarity’s own plate sat untouched, and despite that it was still gathering a decent amount of crumbs. Pinkie, who looked to be the only one besides Bloodmoon who was actually enjoying the breakfast, was happily chomping away while sitting next to the new alicorn. Her food intake was almost on par as well, but thankfully the party pony had far better table manners.

“Hey, leave some for the rest of us.” A cyan hoof reached out to snag a blueberry muffin, Rainbow Dash leaning back in her seat and glancing around. “Well, for me anyway. Guess no one is hungry.”

“I wonder why,” Applejack replied with a frown, a golden brown crumb flying off to land in her hat.

“I suddenly feel the urge to feed my animals,” mumbled Fluttershy while she too neglected to sample any of the baked goods.

“More for us then,” Pinkie shrugged before she reached for another muffin with a grin. Her smile was quickly turned on Bloodmoon, her tail wagging behind her like a dog. “Who could have eventhought that Bloomy was a meany-mean, she bought us all brunch!” The smile dropped, Pinkie resting her head on a hoof with a look up to the roof. “Or is it lunchfast…?”

Twilight sighed under her breath, almost wishing that she could just leave and go back to bed. It wasn’t an option; unfortunately, as it was her duty as a Princess to ensure that the two newcomers didn’t cause any more trouble.

‘He’s strange,’ she thought while glancing at the brooding human. ‘But he did cause that crater and apparently tried to repeatedly kill … Bloodmoon.’ She repressed a shudder. ‘He flat-out doesn’t look friendly, and he’s been incredibly rude and demanding this entire time.’ Her frown increased. ‘I’m going to guess that if we don’t fix things between them, he might not exactly react well.’

Her focus turned onto the red and black alicorn, Bloodmoon swallowing a massive gulp of food before licking her lips. ‘She’s just downright creepy,’ Twilight thought with a wince at the fangs that reminded her too much of a changeling. ‘Just what is she? Princess Celestia never mentioned an alicorn quite like her, and the only other creature that even comes close is… is…’

Twilight felt a spark of anger flare up.

‘Queen Chrysalis.’

“So, Nightblade,” she began with a steady voice but an internal wince.

‘By Celestia, I’ve seen pictures of zebra spiked warclubs that are less edgier than that name.’

“What sort of, well, creature are you?”

The question earned everypony’s attention, even Nigel looking up from his sulking. It was only her that really seemed distrustful of Nightblade at the moment, however. While Twilight was pretty certain that even Queen Chrysalis wouldn’t stoop so low as to disguise herself as such a... an eyesore, she couldn’t rule out that it was possibly a form of super-changeling minion.

“An awesome one!”

The reply was met with a deadpan stare, Twilight sighing again. “No, I mean what species. For example, I’m an alicorn and that’s a type of pony.”

“Oh.” Bloodmoon bit her lip and concentrated, before looking up a few seconds later. “Ah, I know! I’m an alicorn like you, but a little cooler. You know, like an ‘alicorn plus’.” She bit her lip again while nodding to herself. “I also think I’m parts of other things as well, but I’m not too sure.” The smile returned. “But hey, at least I know I’m an alicorn plus, right?”

‘I… I don’t even…’

“You’re certainly something alright,” Nigel muttered under his breath.

It proved to be a mistake on his part.

“Oh, Nigey.”

Twilight ignored Bloodmoon’s enthusiastic hugging and nuzzling of the human, her mind instead set on other matters. She looked up at the striped alicorn with narrowed eyes, the creature’s dodging of her question sending alarm bells off in her head.

“I actually have a favour to ask,” Twilight continued after her moment of pause, Bloodmoon looking at her. “Since I’ve never had the chance to meet a…. an ‘alicorn plus’ before, I was wondering if I could do a small amount of tests with your help.”

“Tests?”

“Ah, Twi?” Applejack whispered from the side. “Are you sure you want to do that? Remember when you did the same with Pinkie Pie?”

Twilight leaned back, her voice lowering to a hush. “I do remember, but I have to know.” She focused back on Bloodmoon, a false smile filling her face. “Yes, tests. Nothing harmful of course, I just want to measure…” she thought for a moment. “Your awesomeness levels. You know, how strong you are and things like that.”

Bloodmoon, letting go of the stock-still Nigel, actually straightened in her seat and puffed out her chest with a grin on her face. “Well, if it’s an awesomeness test then you can count me in!”

“Heh, if it’s an awesomeness test then you’ll have to race me afterwards,” Rainbow Dash stated with a cocky grin. “Everypony knows that I’m the most awesome flyer in Ponyville.”

Bloodmoon flashed her fangs in a smile. “You’re on!”

“Splendid,” Nigel said while standing up, his voice surprisingly chipper. “Ms Sparkle, I’ll leave Bloodmoon in your capable… hooves, and I’ll go and get a few things sorted.” He made for the door. “You know, human things and stuff.” He only paused to give what she could only assume was a smirk underneath his helmet.

“Good luck with the tests.”

‘Yeah, sure.’

“Bye Lovey-Bun,” Bloodmoon called out after him while waving a hoof. “I’ll see you after I help out Twilight with the tests!”

There was no reply from the human, Nigel swiftly exiting and no doubt scurrying off to hide underneath some unsuspecting pony’s bed again.

‘I can worry about him later,’ Twilight thought to herself, her eyes settling on the still-smiling Bloodmoon. ‘Right now, I’ve got bigger issues at hoof…’

Bloodmoon fidgeted on the spot, her wings giving the occasional flap while her tail flicked to and fro. She sighed, one ear unconsciously flicking with irritation at the wire that was taped to it, before she began to slowly tap a forehoof on the metal podium that she was standing on. Boxy machines beeped and hummed all around her, with the occasional arc of electricity jumping from one metal coil to the other.

“Just a few more moments,” Twilight apologised from behind a row of blinking consoles. “Since I became a Princess and moved into this much nicer lab, there’s just a few new things that I have to figure out.”

“That’s okay,” Bloodmoon replied. “I can wait.”

Well, not really. To be honest she was regretting accepting to help the Princess with her tests, even if it was to measure her awesomeness levels. Even the promised race against Rainbow Dash felt a little hollow now. It meant that she was spending yet more time away from Nigel, and while she was certain that the relationship was rock-solid, she couldn’t help but get the feeling that their lengthy absences from each other was really having a strain on Nigel’s happiness.

‘I’ll have to think of a way to make it up to him,’ she mused, before a sly smile crossed her face and a blush filled her cheeks. ‘Maybe I could pick something up from that clothes store that Rarity owns…’

“All right, everything’s ready!”

Bloodmoon was broken out of her thoughts at Twilight’s voice, and she looked over towards her. The Princess was wearing a white lab coat and, more concerning, a large pair of reflective goggles. Before she had time to query the attire, however, Twilight continued on.

“So, I’ve placed numerous wires around your body to measure everything,” Twilight explained with a gesture of a hoof. Midnight gave herself a quick once-over, confirming that there were indeed many small wires attached to her with white tape. “They record your body’s magical energy and send it to my readout right here,” Twilight tapped a rectangular metal cub with a slot on the front. “Just follow what I say, and we’ll be over and done with this in a few minutes.”

Bloodmoon perked up at the short time estimate. “Okay!”

“Great, now first we’ll do a simple strength test.”

A magenta-coloured magical glow levitated a machine over to the podium. She examined it after it had been set down. First was a mass of wires leading back to the row of beeping consoles coming out of the back. Second, there was nothing else save for a raised peddle in the shape of a hoof.

“Go ahead.” Bloodmoon looked back towards Twilight, the Princess nodding while levitating a clipboard. “Just step on it with a hoof.”

“Okay.”

Bloodmoon did as asked, and she looked up when a whirring sound started up from where Twilight was standing. The Princess was frowning down at a roll of parchment that was spewing out from her machine, but from where she was Bloodmoon couldn’t see what was on it.

“I’m not getting a reading,” Twilight explained. “Push down as hard as you can.”

“I already am.”

“You can’t be, give it some more effort.”

Gritting her teeth, Bloodmoon stepped down with all of her might. She glared down the machine at her hoof, before she blinked her eyes in surprise.

“I… uh…”

“I’m still not getting anything,” Twilight replied.

“No, I mean…” Bloodmoon looked back at the jumbled mass of metal and wires, the strength test machine all but annihilated. “I think I broke it…”

“Impossible,” Twilight began while she looked over. “That machine managed to take one of Applejack’s… oh my.” Slowly trotting out, Twilight seemed unable to cease staring at the mangled wreak. “How is that possible?” she muttered to herself. “It didn’t even get a chance to produce a reading…”

Bloodmoon smiled. “Sorry, guess my own awesomeness was just too much for it.”

Twilight gave her a long stare.

‘She’s probably jealous.’

“Well,” the Princess continued with a sigh. “I suppose that we can move onto the magical testing. This time, please try not to break anything.”

“I can only promise to try. After all, I am pretty aws-“

“Yes, I know.”

Twilight’s interruption was followed by the crumbled strength tester being whisked away in a magical field. Watching Twilight trot back to her row of consoles, Bloodmoon wondered what she was going to have to do this time.

“Okay,” Twilight said with clipboard levitating once more. “Let’s start off simple. Do you see that apple on the table in front of you?”

Bloodmoon looked towards the lone apple sitting upon the metal table. “Yes, I see it.”

“Good. Could you please use your magic to lift up the apple.”

The request gave her pause. Bloodmoon couldn’t remember, but she was pretty certain that she hadn’t actually used magic before. ‘I have a horn though,’ she thought while scrunching up her face in concentration. ‘So I should be easily able to lift just one single apple.’

All of her focus went into moving the apple, her tongue poking out while her horn began to tingle.

“That’s good,” she heard Twilight say. Bloodmoon opened her eyes wide with excitement, the lone apple floating steadily in front of her face. She was quite pleased to note that her magical aura was not yucky pink like Twilight’s, but was instead a cool combination of black and red energy. “The readings are quite normal as well.”

“You sound surprised,” Bloodmoon muttered, her heart sinking at the revelation that her magical strength was only normal.

“More relieved,” Twilight murmured back, but Bloodmoon wasn’t paying much attention. “Okay, can you now please return the apple to the table.”

Bloodmoon’s ears pricked up. Her muscles tensed. Her horn began to glow with energy.

‘No!’ she thought to herself with a grit of her teeth. ‘I won’t be beaten by this apple! I refuse to be…’ she shuddered. ‘A normal.’

“Uh, hang on, I’m getting some odd readings,” she heard Twilight speak up with a hint of worry. “Bloodmoon?”

She wasn’t listening, her eyes fixed right on the floating apple. She wasn’t going to give up, she wasn’t going to be beaten!

“I will put the apple back on the table!” she found herself yelling over the sound of cracking magic. “And it will be completely awesome!"

“Oh Sweet Celestia!”

Bloodmoon only saw sheets of metal lower from gaps in the ceiling for a split second, before her vison was overtaken with a flash of black and red energy.

“What, where am I?”

Kyle Notinsertington looked around the dark forest that he found himself standing in. He winced at the slivers of sunlight that filtered through the gaps in the heavy tree cover, and tried to make sense of his situation.

‘Wait, there were no parks anywhere near the convention centre,’ he thought to himself. ‘The last thing I remember is that creepy dude in that costume store.’
The reminder caused him to look down at the golden belt buckle he had purchased for his costume, but he stopped short upon noticing that his rather shitty costume…

Suddenly looked a whole lot more real.

Kyle rushed over towards a nearby puddle, the water offering a clear reflection of his new form.

“My god…”

Gone was Kyle Notinsertington, and in his place was Hero Muchiangsti from the hit anime show Fuan O Daite Iru Ma Oku No Wakai Jūdai No Wakamono-tachi wa, Haruka Ni Aku to Tatakaimasu, which when translated in Gaijin was ‘Many Young Teens Fight Much Evil While Brooding Angst’.

Kyle, or rather Hero, took in every detail about his new body. His stark white hair, his red eyes, pale ash skin, abnormally tall and lean figure, bellowing red coat, and skin-tight black bodysuit were all exactly the same as the show. His shoes and oversized belt were adorned with excess belt buckles all varying in size and make, and his spiky hair was covered in the magical golden glitter that granted Hero his amazing powers.

It was the item that rested by his side, however, that drew the most attention. Carefully, Kyle picked up the glittering weapon known by all as the ‘Daemon Reaper’, and felt it rest in his hands as if it belonged in them.

Constructed from a mixture of daemon blood and angel tears, the deep red weapon was a thing of horrific beauty. With a katana on one end and a massive scythe on the other, as well as a magical battery of dark runes along the haft, it was a weapon that had ended the lives of many powerful daemon lords as well as countless neglectful step-fathers.

It was light as a feather, yet perfectly balanced. Tilting his head and clenching his free hand into a fist, Kyle looked upon the closest tree and wondered if everything else was like the show.

A deluge of darkness and pain, manifested into a writhing mass of destructive dark matter, shot from his fist and collided with the hapless tree’s bark. The innocent flora was unable to cope with the sheer angst and edge that penetrated its once sturdy bark, and in a flash of negative energy it collapsed upon itself until it had disappeared from existence.

Kyle stared at the space that had once held the tree, before his pointy teeth and perfect lips curled into a wide grin.

“Yes!” he said with a fist pump, his dull life finally given meaning. “Oh my god! Does this mean…?”

With only a thought he began to levitate off the ground, dark energy swirling around him to form a protective barrier.

‘I can fly, control dark energy, am immortal, can see into the nightmares of others, can summon demons to do my bidding, can move the steller bodies at a whim, can survive without food and drink, my semen is capable of taming any animal or beast that it comes (hehe, ‘cums’) into contact with, I can change and create matter, can summon every deadly plague and illness known to man…’

He set down upon the ground again, his grin having grown wider all the while.

“In short, I’m now a god. Now, what to do…” he looked around the forest again, and then shrugged. “I might as well start by taking over the world, or wherever I am.” His eyes lit up again. “Oh man, I might actually get laid as well! Fucking sweet!”

With a newfound spring in his step, Kyle began to walk in a random direction that just felt… right. He didn’t pay any mind to the trails of demon blood that his footsteps left behind, and instead focused on humming a merry tune that the real Hero Muchiangsti wouldn’t ever let past his lips.

One thing that didn’t escape his attention, however, was the steadily growing rumbling beneath his feet.

He quickly stopped and, with supernatural speed, whipped out Deamon Reaper while going into a fighting stance.

“A daemon Lord?” he said to himself while glancing around in preparation to fight. “A foul servant of Hell? Monster? Beast?”

He was ready to completely trash whatever aimed to duel him, but as the rumblings grew stronger he frowned. His super-sensitive demon-senses weren’t picking anything up, save for a few birds that were quickly taking flight.

“Then what…?”

Looking around, he spotted something strange. It was a hole in the ground, but what caught his eye was the rim of metal that clued him into the fact that it wasn’t natural. Approaching closer, Kyle realised that it was the source of the rumbling. In what could only be the brightest move in the history of everything, he stooped down low and stuck his head over it to get a better look.

It seemed to be a simple iron pipe, the opening large enough to fit through if he wanted to. A metal grate covered the top, presumably so people would fall all the way down into the blackness below.

“What’s this?” Kyle caught sight of some text lining the inside of the rumbling pipe, his god-like powers of deduction allowing him to decipher the alien language. “’Warning: Magical Overflow Exhaust’?”

Despite his super-quick reflexes and speed, Kyle was caught completely unawares by the sudden torrent of magical energy that surged upwards and out of the pipe…

And right into his god-like face.

His brain was able to register that he was being propelled through the air in the energy expulsion, his vison surrounded by the colours of red and black. Able to feel himself somehow disintegrate bit-by-bit, he was able to come up with at least a small snippet before he perished.

‘Cruel Maiden who invites me into the arms of oblivion, how I unwittingly entered your tragic embrace.’

Or, at least that’s what Hero Muchiangsti would have come up with as a final goodbye to the audience. Kyle, being the teenager that he was, wasn’t quite as proficient with his words during his final thoughts.

‘The Fuck? This shit completely blows…’

As the Everfree wind carried away the remnants of the few remaining particles of Kyle Notinsertington, a sole golden belt-buckle fell down into the forest dirt with a soft thunk.

Not even the slowly returning birds paid it any attention.

Bloodmoon opened her eyes, her horn still feeling all tingly. Looking around she gazed in awe at the destruction that surrounded her.

The shutters that had blocked the centre area off from the observation platform had been completely destroyed, a few scraps of iron scattered around the room. The stone walls all bore numerous scorch marks upon their surfaces, and the machines that had dotted the room were now nothing more than piles of scrap metal. A large metal pipe in the floor, or at least what had been a pipe, was now nothing but rapidly cooling metal slag.

“Wha… wha…?”

She glanced towards the sound of the weakly-uttered questions, and spotted a dull magenta magic bubble that soon slowly faded away. With coughs and splutters while she tried to get to her hooves, Twilight Sparkle made to repeat herself. “What happened?”

Bloodmoon, however, declined to answer her question right away. Instead, she was focused at grinning at the lone table that had miraculously survived whatever had happened in the test area.

“I did it!” she exclaimed with a wide grin, pointing her hoof towards the slightly-charred apple that sat upon the table’s surface. “I did it! See, I can do basic magic!” With a bounce in her step, she looked back towards Twilight. “Can we do another test? That was fun!”

There was no reply from the lab-coated Princess, Bloodmoon waiting patiently for an answer. Still grinning, she couldn’t help but notice that Twilight was acting a bit… off.

‘Maybe she’s just too stunned by the awesome way I perfectly handled that apple?’ she thought to herself with no small amount of pride. ‘Wait until Nigel hears this, I bet he’d be thrilled to learn about how flawlessly his marefriend is at passing tests!’

“I… uh…”

Tilting her head at Twilight’s mumbling, Bloodmoon furrowed her brow. “Are you sure you’re alright? I mean, is there more tests that we can do?”

“Yes… I mean… no… I need to…” Twilight shook her head, her slightly-smoking mane frizzing out. “I think I need to write a letter to Princess Celestia about all this. Why don’t you go and, ah…” Twilight’s eyes widened. “I know, why don’t you go and have that race with Rainbow Dash? I’ll let you know how… well, you did after I clean up this mess. Okay?”

Bloodmoon’s initial disappointment upon hearing that there were no further tests for her to pass with flying colours was quickly lifted when she was reminded of the race challenge. Smiling widely, her bat wings gave a small flap with joy.

“O-kay! I’m going to go and snag a win to impress Nigel!” Whistling to herself, she turned and trotted towards the stone stairs leading up to the ground floor with a small bounce in her trots. Pausing when she was halfway up, she looked back towards the silent Princess who was still staring around at the wrecked laboratory. “Thank you for the tests, Miss Princess Twilight, now I know that I’m not just awesome, but scientifically awesome!”

With that, she resumed her trotting with a wide grin, Bloodmoon completely missing Twilight’s mumbled reply.

“Awesome… is not quite the word that I would use…”

All was black, save for the faint blue lines of text that scrawled out across a helmet visor.

“All right,” Nigel muttered to himself while he went over the information. “Three months of air, and two months of hydrates and nutrients. Well, three if I really want to push it, but surely it won’t be that long.” He nodded to himself as much as his position could allow, a smile on his face. “She’ll never find me here, all I have to do is just wait it out and I’ll be home free.”

He went quiet and instead decided to focus on his thoughts, while he settled into what was going to be his new hiding place for the next few months.

Above ground in a certain florist’s back garden, a single rose bush shook every-so-slightly in a patch of freshly-disturbed dirt.

“Are you sure that you’re ready? After-all, you’re about to go up against the fastest flyer in Equestria!”

Bloodmoon paused her wing stretches to playfully stick her tongue out at her competitor. Rainbow Dash was leaning from side-to-side a few lengths away to her left, a cocky grin on her face.

A grin Bloodmoon intended to quickly wipe off.

“Soon to be second fastest,” she teased, giving a test flap to prove her point. Her smile widened when she noticed Rainbow focus on the extended wings, the leathery appendages almost twice as large in span compared to the fluffy cyan feathers.

“Yeah, well big wings aren’t everything,” Dash huffed. “I’ve taken on and beaten griffons that were even larger than that.” She smiled again. “So, are you ready to race? Or are you just all boast and nothing else?”

“Not just boast, but you’re gonna be toast!” Bloodmoon’s smile dropped slightly, and she looked around the large and grassy field that they were both standing in. “Still, I was kind of hoping that Nigel was going to see me race…”

“Oh, uh…” she looked back at Rainbow Dash, the pegasus quickly following up after looking a tad uncomfortable. “I’d just forget about him and focus on racing. He’s probably just in town somewhere, or having boring tea with Rarity.” The mischievous grin returned. “Besides, why are you so eager to lose in front of him, anyway?”

The reminder of the competition pulled her mind away from her missing coltfriend, and Bloodmoon refocused forwards with a nod of her head.
“I’m ready. I hope you’re ready to get the medal for second place.”

“We’ll see,” Rainbow Dash snickered, before looking around. “Pinkie?”

Bloodmoon jolted when a short and sharp blast from a high-pitched whistle pierced the air, Rainbow Dash almost jumping into the air herself.

From behind, trotting through the middle of them while wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, Pinkie Pie emerged with the offending whistle between her lips.

“Racers, listen up!” Giving the whistle another blow, Pinkie pointed a hoof out towards a line on the ground that was constructed out of streamers. “No flying until you reach that line, which is fifty body-lengths away. Then, using all of the wing-power you have, you will launch off into the skies!”

The hoof was then turned towards a floating house on the horizon, just over the town of Ponyville. “Then you will fly to Dashie’s house, do a loop, and return here as fast as you can. The first pony over the line is the winner, and also the most super-fastest flying-pony in the whole of Equestria!” Bouncing out of the way to the left, Pinkie prepared her whistle. “So, on your marks!”

Rainbow Dash crouched, legs ready. Bloodmoon glanced over and mirrored the posture, eyes settled firmly on the line.

“Get set!”

Bloodmoon’s wings gave a small flap, already limbered up. Her mouth curled into a slight smile when she noticed her competitor sneak a jealous glance.

“Go! Have fun!” Pinkie yelled while somehow simultaneously blowing the whistle.

Bloodmoon started galloping as fast as she could go, her eyes still set solidly on the line that marked the end of the hoof section. Her focus was quickly broken, however, when a multi-coloured blur zoomed past with a speed she couldn’t hope to match.

‘I… huff… didn’t expect running to be so… gasp, difficult,’ Bloodmoon thought to herself as her rotund physic proved to be less than idea for the athletic contest. Rainbow Dash was far ahead, and Bloodmoon could only watch as the pegasus reached the line and spread her wings wide.

“Ha, see you when I get back, slowpoke!” Rainbow yelled back with a grin as she took flight. Zooming up into the air, she quickly made a beeline towards her floating cloud-house.

Gritting her teeth, Bloodmoon willed herself to go faster despite her fatigue. Straining her body to the limit, she finally reached the line and was able to use her wings. The leathery appendages unfurled and gave a mighty flap, which combined with her speed created a sudden entry into the air. Stumbling at first, Bloodmoon focused straight ahead and concentrated on catching her distant opponent.

Flapping like mad, her larger wingspan proved to be most useful as she steadily caught up with Rainbow Dash. Their different fitness levels were readily apparent, however, Rainbow Dash flying along almost effortlessly while every grain of Bloodmoon’s being was being dedicated to just catching her.

They both reached the cloud-house at the same time, Rainbow Dash pulling off a perfectly tight turn while Bloodmoon swung out wide and lost a lot of ground. Almost all seemed lost, before Rainbow pulled an unexpected move and slowed down to Bloodmoon’s lessened pace.

“You look like you’re having some difficulty keeping up,” Rainbow teased with a smirk. “Starting to regret challenging the Fastest Flyer in Equestria?”
Bloodmoon narrowed her eyes while struggling out a reply. “I… I’m going to b-beat you!” With that, she pushed herself harder and pulled ahead.

But only temporarily.

“Looks like I’m going to have to make it more clear!” Rainbow Dash shouted while increasing her own speed. “Prepare for the Sonic Rainboom!”

Bloodmoon watched while Rainbow Dash sped up even more, a crackling energy appearing around her. Soaring through the skies, Rainbow Dash practically disappeared when a loud boom rang out and a burst of rainbow colour obscured her from view.

“No!” Bloodmoon shouted to herself, her wings entering an almost desperate speed of flaps.

She didn’t even notice the red and black arcs of energy form around her outstretched forehooves before it was too late.

“Do, dobie-do-do-dee, oh what a feeling to finally feel this free. What a joy it is to currently be me and feel this…”

Nigel stopped singing to himself when he felt the dirt above him move, and with great strain he managed to move his helmet back and up so he was staring towards the surface.

He flinched only slightly when a silver gardening trowel pierced the soil and collided against his helmet with a thunk. Upon opening his eyes, he found himself staring out towards a shocked pair of wide green eyes.

“Now,” he began slowly after activating his helmet speakers. “I know what this looks like, but let’s both act with a nice and quiet degree of calmness about this whole situation…”

“And the racers are neck and neck, hoof to hoof, tail to tail, wing to wing!”

Pinkie Pie continued to announce the progress of the race to the empty field, her tail wagging as she sat and observed the pair in the sky.

“Round the house they go, and a very good turn for Dashie! Bloodmoon is a little slower but still isn’t out of it yet! Go Dashie! Go Bloodmoon!”

She jumped to her hooves as the racers began their final stretch, party poppers at the ready for the winner (and even some for the loser as well).

“And Bloodmoon’s pulling ahead… oh, look! It’s the Sonic Rainboom!”

The tell-tale rainbow streak was hard to miss, even from where she was standing. Rainbow Dash pulled ahead with tremendous speed, Pinkie jumping for joy as the winner approached. A small part of her mind questioned whether Dash could land safely at the finish line at the speed she was going, but it was overturned by the pure excitement of the competition.

“With the Sonic Rainboom, it looks like that Rainbow Dash will retain her title of Fastest- but wait, what’s this!?”

Pinkie’s grin grew wider when, with a booming crack, a red-and-black glow burst out from Bloodmoon. The midday sky seemed to darken slightly, and with a wizz and a bang the glow turned into a blazing trail of energy that completely overshadowed the rainbow that Dash was leaving behind.

A thunderous roar passed overhead as, in a gigantic upset, Bloodmoon passed Rainbow Dash at more than twice the speed!

Pinkie Pie barely caught the newcomer zip over the finish line first, but a split second later and the party poppers and whistles were already going off.

“Yay!” Pinkie cheered up as both of the oppositely coloured streaks died out. “We have a winner, and new champion!” She looked up towards her friend, Rainbow Dash hovering up in the air with her mouth hanging open wide enough to catch a dragon. “Sorry Dashie, but that was amaza-rific!”

Bloodmoon slowly flew down towards Pinkie, swaying from side-to-side as her erratic path brought her closer and closer to the ground. Pinkie winced when the new Fastest Flyer in Equestria ploughed into the grassy field side first, before she quickly bounded over with her happiness dampened with concern.

“Oh no, are you all right?”

“Wha… What happened?” Bloodmoon mumbled out with a spluttering of dirt, before she made to get up. “All I remember is going really, really fast.” She got to her hooves and dusted herself off.

“You won!” Pinkie announced after quickly giving her a glance over to ensure that she wasn’t hurt. “You beat Dashie in the race!”

Bloodmoon slowly grinned. “I did?”

“Wha… How… I don’t… huh!?”

Both of them looked up to find that Rainbow Dash had lowered towards them. Her lower jaw was still hanging low, Pinkie Pie stifling a laugh at how funny her friend looked.

“See, I told you,” Bloodmoon teased while sticking out her tongue at the defeated pegasus. “I’m more than just boast, and now you’re the one that’s toast!”

“Toast? Yummy!” Pinkie added with a happy bounce. “Speaking of toast, there’s one other thing! For coming in first, and for coming in second, you both win a yummy lunch at Sugercube Corner!”

“Yay!” Bloodmoon cheered before beginning to prance around with joy. “I get to be fastest and have lunch! Will there be muffins?”

Pinkie nodded with a grin. “Of course, when isn’t there muffins? That’d be silly!” She looked back up at Rainbow Dash. “Come on Dashie, you may have lost, but at least you can be second fastest!”

“I… how… why… what?”

“Dashie may just need a quick break to recover,” Pinkie advised Bloodmoon with a sagely nod. “She’ll catch up to us for sure.” She pointed a hoof towards Ponyville. “Now let’s go and have lunch, all this refereeing has made me starving!”

“I’m not going to refuse,” Bloodmoon giggled. “But first, I have to find Nigel and let him know that I won!”

Right as she said that, a faint shouting rose up from the direction of Ponyville. Both pricked their ears up, Rainbow Dash still too busy staring at Bloodmoon with a gobsmacked expression.

“Help, Monster! There’s a monster in my garden!”

Pinkie shook her head with a small giggle, before trotting off back towards town.

“Come on then,” she called back to Bloodmoon. “It sounds like Roseluck has already found him!”

“Ma’am, please stop trying to scratch my helmet!”

“Ah! Ahhh! Ahhhhhh!”

“Please, if you-“

“AH!”

“-Just let me explain...”

“Get out, get out! Ah! Monster!”

“Okay, that’s it! Holy shit, calm the fuck down you tiny horse!”

Nigel continued to fume when the small spade came down again and collided with his helmet’s visor. The metal trowel merely scuffed the surface of the metal faceplate, but it still ran the risk of hitting one of the microscopic cameras that provided him with vision.

He would have reached out and physically restrained the light-yellow mare that was currently fighting back tears as her reddish-purple mane swayed from side to side with every trowel thrust, but unfortunately his choice to bury himself feet-first in the garden was proving to not be the smartest of moves. With his helmet being the first thing the frantic pony had dug up, he was stuck staring at her as she continuously flipped out.

“Ah!” Thunk. “Ahh!” Thunk. “Ahhhh!” Thunk.

‘A thousand curses upon this fucked-up planet!’ Nigel thought with his irritation quickly rising. ‘I swear, as soon as I get away from here I’m going to have the fucking navy blast it into tiny pieces!’ The thought of complete devastation actually reminded him of his original aim of the garden concealment. ‘Well, at least this hysterical pony wasn’t Nightplague Shitmoon, give thanks for that.’

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the ceasing of the trowel attack. Nor did he pick up on the muffled conversation that was occurring above him.

No, the thing that clued Nigel into his mistake of thanking his lucky stars too early was the large fang-filled grin that took up most of his vision.

“Nigey!” Bloodmoon greeted with a kiss on his helmet. “That’s not how you get me some roses, silly!”

“I wasn’t-“

“I do appreciate the thought though. It makes me so happy that I have such a caring coltfriend that loves me so much! Now I’ll help you get out, we’re going to have lunch to celebrate me become the Fastest Flyer in Equestria!”

Nigel stared at her from his spot in the garden.

“Somehow, someway, someday, I will finally kill you and be rid of you for good.”

All that happened was another happy smile.

“Aw, sometimes you just say the sweetest things!”

“I do feel pity for them, Applejack. Such a trouble-filled relationship.”

Applejack turned her head away from the bizarre sceptical playing out in Roseluck’s garden and glanced over. “Why Rarity, I just couldn’t tell.”

Rarity harrumphed and flicked her mane with a hoof. “Well, pardon me for voicing my observation then.”

It looked as if Applejack was going to retort, but a frantic trotting drew their attention. Glancing behind them, Rarity spotted a frazziled Twilight hurrying up to them with a roll of loose parchment trailing from an open saddlebag.

“Girls, we need to go to Canterlot, now!” Twilight huffed out. “I need to urgently talk with Princess Celestia, and we need to bring along Bloodmoon!”

“Everything alright Twi?” Applejack questioned, but Rarity was focused on Bloodmoon and Chalmers once more.

‘That gives me an idea,’ she thought to herself as Twilight explained whatever was bothering her to Applejack. She watched while Bloodmoon attempted to pull Nigel out of the ground by his helmet, the human making the attempt as difficult as possible.

‘I’m sure that all of these issues could be resolved by a simple train trip up to the Crystal Empire and a certain Princess of Love…’

With a smile on her face, Rarity began to trot off without letting Twilight finish.

“I’ll grab the tickets, leave it to me!”

“Are you sure Rarity?” Twilight inquired after her. "Normally you prefer more notice."

“Oh, yes dear,” Rarity smiled to herself. “I’m quite sure.”