Claire: The Love Doctor

by Averse Whale

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 5249

Love problems abound for the next generation of ponies! Fortunately, Claire's here to set things straight. Paging Doctor Clarity! Your patients are ready!

Crystal Clarity, daughter of Rarity and Spike, is known as "The Love Doctor" within her circle of friends. She can solve most any problem, so long as it's within the context of a relationship.

Today, she'll a get a bit more than she bargained for when every one of her friends comes to her store asking for advice. Can she rise above "The Doctor" she is and become "The Savior" we need? You know, "Of Love"?

Something I'm going to be doing for fun between other stories. I'm experimenting with the format a bit to see what works best, so it might change a bit from chapter to chapter. All credit for the characters goes to Kilala97.

Published 2015-05-19 05:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-30 00:09:19 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a slow day in Hearthfire Jewelry. Though business had been booming for the past few days, this particular day was progressing slower than a snail on a treadmill. Claire welcomed the change. Sure, she loved the exposure and respect her finely crafted jewels were rightfully receiving, but on a hot summer's day such as this, it's better to just kick back and relax. Kick back, and re--

"CLAAIIRE!"

The store's entrance busted open as her close friend, Cotton Candy, came flying towards her at a ballistic speed.

"CLAAIIRE!" she shouted again, before soaring over the counter and crashing headlong into Claire. The two impacted and rebounded off the back wall. When Claire looked up from her new position on the floor, she found the light blue pony with seemingly edible pink and white hair standing over her.

"Sorry," apologized Candy, offering Claire a hoof up. "I tried telling mom I could walk, but she insisted I take the party cannon."

Clarity accepted the hoof and gracefully rose to her feet. The back of the store was now in some disarray, but with Candy around, disarray never lasts for long.

"I actually really need to talk to you about something," said Candy, all the while using her tape-measure to exactly realign the jewelry. "It's, well, it's about this colt I think I like..."

A magic aura surrounded the jewelry before suddenly floating them into their correct positions.

"You've come to the right place," Claire said, summoning Rarity's old fainting chair. "Tell me all about it, darling."

Candy, after closely double checking and readjusting some of their placements, rushed over and hopped into the chair for another one of their occasional, impromptu therapy sessions. Claire levitated her stool from behind the counter and seated herself beside Candy.

"Okay, so, there's this guy," Candy started, twiddling her hooves together. "And we've been friends for like, a super long time."

"T's already taken, Candy," Claire reminded her. Turquoise Blitz, Claire's green, half dragon brother, was a surprisingly desirable pony-dragon, sought after by blind blondes and rebellious royalty alike. Surprisingly, between the two, the blind blonde won out.

"No, no... I mean-- Wait. How'd you know I liked T?"

"Darling, please. Don't underestimate my sixth sense for romance. Now, a colt friend whom you've known a long while?"

Candy nodded her head, her face now blushed light-red. She placed one of her hoofs over her head to mask it.

"Yeah, a colt I've known for pretty much my whole life. We've been close for forever, best friends even! I always kinda liked him, but he had eyes for some-pony else, and they were such a good match, I didn't think I should interfere."

Candy stared up at the ceiling, lost in deep thought.

"But now..." Claire urged in her passive manner.

"But now," continued Candy. "After repeatedly breaking up and getting back together, I think he's starting to branch out. I see him and this other pony together sometimes, but I don't think he's really into it."

"So, you see this as an opportunity to catch Prism's attention," Claire inferred, tapping the bottom of her chin with her clawed hoof.

"Yeah! This could be my only chance to--" Candy stopped mid-sentence and stared at Claire with a puzzled look. "How do you do that?"

Claire gave her a confident chuckle.

"Sixth sense, darling," she repeated. "And as for your colt problem, everything should work out fine. Prism isn't totally dense, at least not when it comes to mares. Drop a few hints for him. He'll catch on."

To this, Candy leaped from the chair and wrapped Claire in a vice grip of a hug.

"Oh, thank you-thank you-thank you!" shouted Candy, shaking Claire left and right with each repetition. "Best pony-dragon-friend ever!"

With that, she shot out the door, returning only for a short second to stabilize a flower pot she left wobbling in her wake. Claire sighed with relief. Helping her friends was always a pleasure, something she inherited from her mother, but it could be quite draining at times, especially depending on the pony. With Candy's problem solved, she could finally relax and enjoy her simple workday.

"Hey-ya, Claire!" sounded a familiar, raw-country accent.

Del had trotted in while she was trying to rest her eyes. She didn't mind though.

"Del! What a pleasure to see you!" greeted Claire. "Do you require help putting together your latest masterpiece? If that's the case, you must let me contribute as more than just a back-up stove."

Del was an artist, and his cuisine, his masterpieces. He could transform any material into a delectable treat. Unfortunately, he could not transform a broken oven into a working one. Such was the case last Summer, during a cook-off between himself and a Canterlot chef. In the middle of the cook-off, the old Apple family stove-oven gave out on Del, and Claire had to debase herself as an oven/stove for the sake of her friend.

"Sure," began Del in a sarcastic tone. "So long as you don't go about punching anymore judges, I think I could make room for ya."

Claire smiled, recalling the memory. Any judge that would dare to give my friend a seven after embarrassing myself like that should know what's coming to them, she thought. Full disclosure though, the other two judges gave him tens. Del approached the counter.

"I do need help, but it's got nothin' to do with cooking."

"Oh, don't tell me," Claire interrupted. She scanned his face mercilessly with her intense, draconic eyes. She narrowed them, seemingly pinpointing an exact spot on his face like a detective who just discovered the final clue. Del remained comfortably still as she did this. He feared very little in Equestria, and of those things he feared dragons were not among them. Bats, though? Now those he found terrifying. Claire returned to her gentle gaze and proceeded to give her diagnosis.

"Mare problems, darling?" she questioned. Del nodded his head. The red fainting chair returned to the room, sweeping beneath Del's hooves and landing him back-first on the center of its fine padding. Claire assumed a therapist-like posture.

"Now, dear, what seems to be the problem?" she inquired. "A problem of love observed from a distance for many years, perhaps? If so, I have a solution all cooked up and ready to go for you."

"No, nothing like that," Del rejected. "Also, cooked up?"

Claire smiled wryly.

"Slip of the tongue, dear," she said. "Did not intend to make you 'Applalled'."

Del just stared back at her, an actual 'appalled' look on his face. Clarity cleared her throat awkwardly.

"I apologize," she conceded. "Please, continue."

"Well, it's about these two mares I like, but I'm stuck between; Amber Lily and Creme de la Creme," explained Del. "I met Creme first, thanks to you, catering for her father's dinner few years back. Sweetest, prettiest pony I'd ever met. The way she talked to me; she didn't seem to care where I was from, Canterlot or Ponyville! Then Annie introduced us to Amber and her little family a while back. She came right up to me and called me 'muscular', as well as... a few, other things. I never seen a pony be so forward..."

"These two are quite the opposites," Claire pointed out. "On the one hand, Creme. Descendent of a wealthy family and raised in Canterlot's high society. On the other, Amber. Raised in an orphanage and more inclined to 'forward' behavior, such as flirting and partying. Quite different indeed. I must commend you, Golden, for your diversity in tastes."

Del ignored the probably intentional pun and rested his hooves behind his head.

"I wouldn't say they're complete opposites," Del expanded. "They're alike in almost every way that matters to me. They're both kind, gentle, breathtakingly intelligent and fun as heck to be around. To be honest, I'm sorta surprised either of them would consider settlin' for a guy like me."

One of Claire's cheaper jewels floated out of its box and smacked Del across the head. He winced, more from the surprise than the pain.

"Don't underestimate yourself, Golden Delicious!" Her tone emulated that of Rarity's whenever she scolded Claire. "Self confidence is invaluable in starting any relationship! If you cannot respect yourself, no-pony will respect you in turn. Carry yourself with pride, Del, and you will be worthy of either of their affections."

"Right," said Del, taken somewhat aback. "Respect myself. Got it. But I'm still not sure who I should be respectin' myself for."

Claire placed a single claw against her chin.

"Amber or Creme..." she mused aloud. "Hm... Amber certainly shares your views about family, having adopted two of her fellow orphans. But Creme has a genuine fascination with rural farm-life, which balances your fascination with Canterlot's high society. Although, Red June is dating Valiant Heart, which is similar to your dynamic with Creme. However, by that same token, Amber and Valiant are both Crystal ponies, so either relationship is at least somewhat redundant. Maybe--"

When she looked back down, she realized she'd been talking to an empty chair.

"Sorry, but I'm gonna get goin'," he cried from the door. "If I wanted to talk about matching ponies up like that, I'd just ask Api. Thanks for everythin' else though!"

He exited, leaving behind a fuming Claire. She checked the clock hanging behind her. Only one O'clock. After letting out a defeated sigh, she descended from her seat and laid herself down on the fainting chair. The day was proving more taxing than a usual workday. She placed one of her hoof-claws over her head and closed her eyes. The sun's warm glow shone through the glass windows, affording her some comfort on this tiring day. As she felt her muscles slowly relax, the warmth suddenly vanished and in its place stood a cold shadow. Claire lifted herself up and looked to the door.

"Uh... I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" questioned Whirlwind, now walking into the store. Claire let out a silent sigh.

"No," she responded with a grin. "Not at all. How can I help you?"

Chapter 2

"This is a little embarrassing for me," Whirlwind began, kicking back nonchalantly in the fainting chair. Claire stared jealously down at her from atop the stool, awaiting the moment she could return to that velvety goodness. "But, I really need to talk about it with somepony, and it's not something I really know how to fix myself, and Prism is always talking you up as 'The Love Doctor', so I figured--"

"You figured I could help you sort-out your relationship issues," Claire quickly finished, in as polite a tone she could manage.

"Yeah! But not with Prism; at least, not with Prism specifically..."

At this, Claire felt some relief. Thank Celestia, she internalized. Candy and Whirlwind both chasing after the same stallion? I don't think I could handle any love rivalries right now.

"In actuality," Whirlwind continued. "It's with Hothead and Prism. They've both got kind-of a thing for me and I'm not sure what to do about it."

Claire rammed the flat of her hoof-claw into her forehead. The slap jostled Whirlwind from her laid back position.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Oh, me? I'm fine! There was a... mosquito, on my hoof you see. But it's gone now. Nothing to be worried about. I'm fine. Totally, and completely, fine..."

With a polite smile, and a slight twitch of her lower eyelid, she quelled the fire burning in her stomach and steeled herself for the next few minutes.

"So," Claire said, rediscovering her grace. "Both Hothead and Prism Bolt desire your affections, and I'm assuming you require my assistance in ascertaining between the two, am I correct?"

"Sort-of," responded Whirlwind, kicking back again. "The thing is, I've already decided on Prism Bolt."

Claire tightly gripped her right hoof. It was all she could do to prevent a second face-palm.

"But, I'm dating Hothead right now. Of course, the only reason I'm dating him is to bug Prism, but I thought we were both on the same page about it. I mean, Prism and him are always butting heads, so I figured he'd just want to mess with him too. But now, I think he really likes me, and on top of that Prism is hanging around with some other pegasus now. Jet Stream, I think he calls her."

Claire nodded observantly. Jet Stream, alias of the failed dragon-lover, Princess Nidra, would occasionally visit Ponyville alongside Claire's boyfriend, Prince Illusion. After Turquoise Blitz finally picked up on Anthea's feelings for him and began legitimately dating her, Nidra confided in Claire her desire to move on. Prism, she guessed, was the answer for her.

"Putting Jet Stream and Prism Bolt aside for a moment," Claire began, attempting to juggle Nidra's, Candy's, and Whirlwind's interests all at once. "Have you any feelings for Hothead? Prism and he are alike in many ways. Perhaps there is some underlying potential you've yet to realize."

"Eh, I don't know. I like him as a friend but--he's just too much of a kid. He's sweet, don't get me wrong, and it's adorable how red his face gets whenever I fluff his mane, but I just... Don't find him as attractive as I find Prism Bolt. Maybe if he toned the attitude down a bit and stopped flaring up over every little thing. Otherwise, he's just too childish for me."

Claire made a mental note to herself; Should I be unlucky enough for Hothead to come in here, write him an extra dose prescription for maturity. Then, after a little consideration, a second; And if Prism comes in here I'm going to sock him one square in the jaw! Returning to the topic at hand, she quickly searched her mind for other viable bachelors.

"Hm... Have you considered... Prism's younger brother?" she asked.

"What?" asked a deadpan Whirlwind. "Icy Storm? He literally is a kid. Like, five years younger than I am!"

"Yes," Claire said. "And only slightly older than my father was when he first met my mother."

Whirlwind cringed, afraid she'd hit a sore point. When she glanced back at Claire, however, she seemed as calm and demure as always.

"Age does not necessarily denote maturity," continued Claire. "Hothead is evidence enough of that. However, neither does it equate to immaturity. Young though he may be, Icy Storm carries more maturity in him than either Prism or Hothead, possibly combined."

"That's... actually kind-of true," said Whirlwind, staring up at the ceiling. "But I don't want any pony accusing me of robbing the stable, least of all Prism! I mean... maybe in a few years or something, I might consider... asking him out..."

"Good!" Clarity declared, standing up from her stool. "Problem solved. Happy to have assisted you!"

She levitated the chair out from beneath Whirlwind and planted her head against Whirlwind's back, pushing her toward the exit.

"Wait!" cried Whirlwind, attempting, and failing, to hold her ground. "What am I supposed to do in the mean-time?! What about Hothead?! Should I break up with him? And what about Jet Stream, or--"

Claire launched her out the door with a final, massive push and quickly shut it in front of her before locking the latch. Her stomach felt like a volcano about to boil over. Quickly turning around and darting to the door beyond the counter, she entered her crafting room and ducked her head down to the opening of the nearest furnace. With a deep bellow, she roared out a blue torrent of flames, heating the steel furnace to a vibrant red. As it grew brighter and brighter, Claire felt her rage dwindle, as well as her magic. Her two horns ceased illuminating their blue light, with the fire from her mouth shortly following suite. She looked down at the ground for a few seconds, lightly clawing at it all the while.

"Whirlwind and Prism," muttered Claire, now clawing with a bit more fervor. "I daresay they're perfect for each other, the way they drive me insane..."

With a final sigh, she returned to the front room of the store. She looked at the entrance, still securely locked. The store technically didn't close for another few hours, but, unless ponies actually started paying for her love-counseling, she saw no reason to stay open. Besides, she thought, laying down on the fainting chair. I believe I am due at least a little break.

She shut her eyes and began drifting into a calm state of solace. In this state, she could feel what seemed like a dozen, soft feathers brushing up against her, and some-pony's muzzle nuzzling against her neck.

"Lulu," smiled Claire, rubbing her lower jaw lovingly along the pony's mane. "Trying to surprise me again? I'm fine with that, for today. In fact, I think I'll take the rest of the evening off. Then, we can spend the rest of the day together. Just the two of--"

Her chin bumped against what felt like a unicorn horn. She pulled her head back and looked down to find an elegant, white, blue maned mare with a showy feather cape wrapped around her.

"Er... Lulu?" questioned Claire. "That's some sort of... new disguise, isn't it?"

"Fool!" shouted the unicorn mare, still snuggling her head against Claire's shoulder. "Dove the Extraordinary has no need of disguises!"

The white unicorn removed her head from Claire and looked up at her with aching purple eyes.

"She does, however," Dove continued, now in a more sincere tone. "Need a little help, s'il vous plait."

Claire's face flushed a deep red.

"D-Dove?" said Claire, finally recognizing her. She checked the door, which remained securely locked. She considered asking Dove how she managed her entrance, but realized such a question was futile. A great magician never reveals her secrets.

"Oui, c'est moi!" shouted Dove, from about two feet closer than Claire was comfortable with. "Dove the Extraordinary! Here! To ask you something, if she may..."

Claire gulped. To her back, the sloping backrest. To her front, a sad-looking pony with no sense of personal space. Trapped, she concluded.

"You see," continued Dove. "Upon arriving in Ponyville for my latest show, I noticed something. A certain aura, wafting through the air, enrapturing every-pony in passionate, romantic desire. Couples, bundled up in each others' hooves! Sharing romantic gestures! Exchanging gifts and eating delectable treats together! No pony was spared from the effect. Including moi..."

Dove shot Claire another pleading look.

"What I want to know is..." Dove began, eyes watering. "Why don't I have a special some-pony? Why doesn't some-pony approach me? Why must Dove the Extraordinary suffer on a romantic day such as this?"

She buried her face into Claire's torso and began her dramatic weeping. Claire grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back.

"First and foremost," said Claire, craning her head down. "Let me say that I share your sympathies completely, darling. Second, a special some-pony isn't something which forms out of thin air. Awaiting a prince's rescue is all well and good, but actively searching for him yourself is the much faster, more efficient option. Try putting your own hoof forward; I'm certain most any colt will reciprocate your affections. Perhaps not to the same, extreme degree as you, but to the best of their abilities."

"Hm..." Dove pondered, raising a hoof beneath her chin. "Then whom should I approach? I'm familiar with only a few ponies here, and of them all I'm uncertain any are worthy. I only desire ponies of class! Ponies of nobility! Ponies fit to be crowned as royalty!"

Claire noticed a wave of jealousy overcome Dove's face. Prince Illusion fit all those descriptions, at least some of the time. However, Dove quickly shook the jealousy away and returned her begging eyes to Claire. Claire thought for a moment about other ponies 'worthy' of those descriptions.

"Well," Claire began. "Of the royalty currently residing in Ponyville, there are Princess Starburst and Prince Valiant Heart. The latter, I believe, is visiting with his parents at Princess Twilight's castle. Though, Prince Valiant is already in a--"

"That's it!" yelled Dove, grabbing Claire's cheeks and looking directly into her eyes. "Why had I not seen it before? A royal pony with such a grand set of wings is more than worthy of my affections!"

"Yes, but darling, I'm afraid Prince Valiant already has a special some-pony," Claire clarified. Dove shook her head.

"That's fine," replied Dove, rolling off the chair. "Besides, he's not the one I'm interested in."

Dove made her way to the door and deftly undid the lock.

"Forgive me, but this is where I must take my sortie," Dove declared from the door. "Dove the Extraordinary must find her soon-to-be special some-pony a gift with which to demonstrate her love! Merci beaucoup, et au revoir!"

She opened the door and made to exit, but found her path blocked by Princess Starburst, hoof still raised mid door-knock.

"Starburst!" Dove shouted, quickly hugging her before kissing her on both sides of her face. "Pardon moi, but if you wouldn't mind, perhaps we could schedule a Prench lesson for later today? Just the two of us?"

"Erm, alright," replied Starburst, still somewhat surprised. "But, isn't it always just the two of us?"

"Indeed!" Dove trotted out the door and past Starburst. "Now then, Dove the Extraordinary, is off!"

With that, a puff of smoke exploded at her hooves. As it cleared, the silhouette of the elegant white unicorn vanished, nowhere to be seen (unless you looked behind the bush on the opposite side of the street). Starburst awkwardly entered the store.

"Um..." she started, trying to find the words. "Claire, I have something I need to talk to you about. There's a stallion I'm interested in, and I'm not sure how I should go about pursuing him."

Claire groaned into the small pillow beside her.

"Fine," Claire agreed, rolling back over to face Starburst. "But you get the stool. I'm keeping the chair."

Chapter 3

No sound emanated from inside Hearthfire Jewelry. Laying atop Rarity's old fainting chair, Crystal Clarity rested her eyes as she awaited her friend's inquiries. Starburst, seated on Claire's stool, motioned to speak, hesitated, then continued glancing about in search of a question. Claire welcomed this change. The zaniness of Candy, the sarcastic wit of Del, the brash attitude of Whirlwind and the disquieting intimacy of Dove had all joined forces to exhaust her on this peaceful day. However, Starburst's shy reluctance for discussing the romantic afforded her ample time to unwind.

"I--" Starburst almost started before quickly shutting her mouth. "I..."

She hurriedly glanced about at the various objects in the room.

"I--I really like the new jewelry!" she finally shouted. "It's, er... really... beautiful."

"Why, thank you dear," replied Claire, head resting comfortably on a red pillow. "Such fine jewels are often difficult to come across. So, when I discover one to my liking, I ensure it receives the utmost care and attention." She lifted her head up slightly and turned her gaze to Starburst. "Are there any jewels to your liking? Perhaps something refined and classy, or coarse and strong, or maybe something completely opposed to those merits?"

Starburst's strained look lightened into a more relaxed appearance. "I actually have found one to my liking," she replied, happy with the new angle. "Refined and strong, and loyal--as in, I feel like I'd never lose it, and, in some way, that it'd never lose me." Bright pink illuminated her face as she finished.

"Ah," Claire said, sporting her elegant smile. "A truly fine jewel. But, with a jewel this infallibly magnificent in your possession, why the need to consult a jewelry expert?"

"Because... It's..." Starburst started, the strain returning to her face, eyes narrowing as she searched for the right words. "A jewel that I want to buy, but not one I personally own yet. By duty, it's sworn to all the princesses. So, in that sense, I know I'll never lose it, but I'd like it to remain by my side for reasons besides duty and honor."

"Loyalty is the lifeblood of romance," Claire responded, tapping a single claw against her chin. "This certainly explains why Fletcher is such a charmer, even if he doesn't realize it himself."

Starburst flushed deep red. "H-How did you--"

"Darling, please," Claire quickly interjected. "It doesn't take a sixth sense to see your attraction to him. It's not dissimilar to your personal attraction to the hardworking and diligent Del, or your physical attraction to the muscular, green-eyed Prism."

"I'm not attracted to Prism!" Starburst blurted out, nearly losing her balance on the stool.

"Not in terms of personality, but physicality," stated Claire. "However, the two are closely intertwined. After all, a sound mind dwells within a healthy body and, in turn, a sound mind maintains a healthy body. Even Prism knows this, which is why he occasionally exerts himself in spite of his laziness. Good body image isn't simply a matter of genetics; rather, it's a mix of healthy lifestyle and positive self-esteem."

Starburst's expression shifted from strained to painfully unamused.

"I get it. I'm short." Straightening her back, Starburst flared her magnificent wings out, casting a wide shadow over Claire. "Get to the point. Now."

A bead of sweat dripped down Claire's forehead and onto the soft linen below. Intimidation is certainly an unorthodox talent compared to most, but effective nevertheless.

"My point being," Claire continued, attempting to regain her cool demeanor. "Overexertion in the name of proving yourself may yield unintended consequences. Just as excessive physical labor leads to frequent fainting spells, focusing all your effort into pursuing a goal without making time for friends leads to strained relationships. Fletcher likely shares your sentiments, but is uncertain of whether or not your time spent training with him is fueled by romantic interests or professional aspirations."

Starburst retracted her wings, and the heavy atmosphere lifted.

"So," said Starburst, relaxing from her straightened posture. "What do you recommend?"

Claire wiped the remaining sweat from her forehead. "My recommendation is quite simple, really. Spend time with him outside of guard training. Invite him to Ponyville more often. I'm certain Del would love to see him again. And, quite frankly, we'd all love to spend more time with you as well, rather than the unconscious heap Del keeps finding beneath his apple trees."

Starburst nodded to herself. "I could invite him down to Ponyville during his next leave... Though, I know his sister will want to see him... But I bet she wants to see Ponyville as well, so if I forward a letter to her..."

Emerging from her internal world, Starburst held her head confidently high. "I know what I have to do," she announced, her expression exceedingly serious. She pivoted her head towards Claire.

"Claire, thank you," she added. Then, with a smile, "I'm sorry I neglect you guys so much, and I'm sorry I worry you. No guarantees on backing off the training, but the next get-together Candy plans, I'm there."

Claire returned her smile. "I look forward to it, darling."

Starburst dismounted her stool and, after giving Claire a brief hug, exited Hearthfire Jewelry. The next few hours progressed uneventfully. Claire remained in the store, watching the puffy clouds pass as the bright blue sky slowly tinted to an assortment of pinks and reds. She rested her head on the counter, welcoming the end of the day.

A knock sounded from the door, jostling her to alertness. A plain, dark grey colt now entered the store, three pieces of coal representing his cutie-mark, a playful grin extended across his face.

"Excuse me, Miss," he addressed in a jocular tone. "May I trouble you for a bit of love counsel? I have this girlfriend, a purple-dragon-pony, who is the most beautiful that-thing-I-just-said in all Equestria! Problem is, she's stuck sitting behind a counter, working all day long, when we could be out having fun together."

With a snap of his hoof, the fainting chair materialized before him. "I guess that's what I get for dating such a generous pony," he said, laying back in the chair. "Always helping others, when she should be helping herself--and her boyfriend too! In fact, next time I see her, I'll--"

He choked in surprise as Claire landed on top of him, the impact removing his disguise.

"Next time you see her..." Claire started, looking deep into the spring yellow eyes of Prince Illusion. "You'll what?"

"Next time I see her..." Illusion continued, leaning up. "I'll give her a wet, sloppy kiss!"

He darted his head forward into Claire's and embraced her in a kiss so wet and sloppy the slurping noises could be heard from out the store. Claire pulled back, laughing.

"Well, in that case," she said, wiping her mouth. "The only advice I can give you, is to prepare yourself!"

She planted her mouth over Illusion's ear and began nibbling at it. Illusion fell back in the chair.

"Oh! The horror!" he cried, followed by fit of giggling.

The two continued exchanging blows like this until the moon arose over the horizon. Illusion lay next to Claire on the fainting chair, already asleep and letting out a calming rhythm of snores. Claire watched him in appreciative silence. The love doctor, huh? she remarked internally. Illusion let out a content snore, and snuggled a bit closer to her. Yeah, I suppose I know a thing or two.

With a light kiss to his cheek, she closed her eyes and drifted into a deep slumber. Within her dreamscape, she found herself standing in a beautiful green park, with all her friends sitting ahead of her atop a long, patterned blanket.

"Claire!" exclaimed Anthea, resting herself beneath Turquoise's wing. "You're here!"

"About time too!" added Prism Bolt, Cotton Candy chewing a sandwich at his side.

"Should probably get yourself some grub 'fore Candy steals it all," synchronized two Golden Deliciouses, Amber Lily resting against one and Creme de la Creme with the other. She found another Turquoise as well, Nidra mingling with him intimately.

Whirlwind and Icy Storm sat lazily upon a cloud floating overhead, discussing the latest exploits of the Wonderbolts and new air acrobatics to try. Dove and Fletcher both rested their heads on opposite shoulders of Starburst, who seemed content in spite of the weight. Illusion materialized above the basket, quickly opening it and pulling out one of Del's famous apple pies.

"Come on, beautiful," he called, cutting out a slice. "I've got a piece with your name on it. Literally!"

He turned the slice over to reveal her name embroidered in delicious cherry glaze. She smiled, and began making her way to the picnic. Everyone was there: Lulu, Annie, Turqoise, Starburst, Candy, Prism, Del, Nidra, Princess Luna--

She halted, finally noticing the Princess of the night standing just beyond the picnic blanket, looking down at her daughter affectionately nuzzling the green hybrid. She raised her gaze up to Claire.

"I'm sorry to impose like this," she began, walking around her friends. "But I require your assistance. You see, it's my daughter. I worry she may be troubled... romantically."

Claire collapsed on the grass, letting out a muffled groan. She shut her eyes for a few moments, then, with some effort, reopened them.

"It's no problem, Princess," she said graciously, rising to her feet. "No problem at all. Please, continue..."