My Girlfriend is a Rock

I looked through the field of rocks. So many rocks! From the largest boulders to the smallest pebbles, and every size and shape in between. There was a large black rock, blacker than obsidian and smoother than limestone. A small white pebble that was in the shape of Florida. A little smooth gray rock-

I picked the rock up. "Is this him?"

Maud turned, and trotted over. She gazed upon the object, scrutinizing every detail.

"No." Came the reply. I did my best not to let out a sigh.

I was never very good at Camouflage.