The Last Night.

Darkness.

Darkness was the only thing I’ve seen for what seemed an eternity. Darkness was my only companion and friend. Then the darkness began slowly withdrawing, I tried desperately to hold onto it, but it was like trying to hold water in a open hand, and the darkness slipped away. As I woke, I became aware of a burning sensation between my legs where my virginity had been cruelly and mercilessly taken away from me. The sound of a key turning in my cell’s lock made me whimper and hide in the shadows of my corner as best I could, and a stallion dressed in dark clothes, wearing a hood to hide his face, stepped into my cell. And I knew I was waking to another nightmare.

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As consciousness returned to Rainbow, the smell of cooking pancakes slowly drifted into her senses, and sunlight stung her eyes. Rainbow went to cover her eyes from the harsh light, but stopped when she saw her bandaged covered wrists.

“What the hay?” Rainbow muttered, gazing in confusion at her wrists. Her mind was plagued with more confusion as she realized she wasn’t in her cloud house, but on a couch in Twilight’s library, and wearing a pair of Twilight’s pajamas. She tried to piece together what happened last night that could have led up to these circumstances, but all she got was a blur of hazy nightmarish images. Then it dawned on her. “It happened again,” Rainbow whispered to herself.

“Oh you’re awake.”

Rainbow looked up at Twilight whose eyes were blood shot, and had tear stains running down the fur on her face. The Alicorn placed a plate of delicious looking pancakes on the coffee table, and stepped back. “What happened last night?” Rainbow asked picking up one of the pancakes.

Twilight frowned at her. “You don’t remember?”

“No. The only thing I remember is blacking out when I was making myself a snack. Than I woke up here.”

Twilight sat down next to Rainbow, worry, concern, and regret etched into her face. “Rainbow, last night you came here bleeding profusely from several deep cuts on your wrist. If you had been a minute later, you could have died. I’m not going to pretend what you’re going through, and I know it’s none of my business, but I need to understand why you did this to yourself...”

“You’re right,” Rainbow said placing her half eaten pancake down. “You don’t know what I’m going through, and it is none of your business.”

Twilight hesitated and placed a comforting hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I just want you to know I’m here for you, and I’m always going to be here for...” Twilight’s voice broke and for a moment she looked like she was about to cry. Twilight took a deep breath composing herself. “I want you to stay here with me for the next couple of days.”

Rainbow frowned, and pulled Twilight’s hand away from her. “Why?”

“Rainbow, you attempted suicide last night, and you’ve been cutting yourself for a while now. I also saw the whip marks covering your body, and the diaper you were wearing.”

Rainbow blushed and looked away from Twilight. “Sometimes I can’t control my bladder.”

“You’re incontinent?”

“Kinda. It only happens sometimes, and it only affects my bladder.”

Twilight looked thoughtful. “How long have you been like this?”

Rainbow snarled angrily at Twilight. “I’m not going to have a therapy session with you. And I’m not going to be staying here with you. I’m fine...”

“You’re not ‘fine’ Rainbow! Have you seen yourself. You’re the complete opposite of fine. You need help.”

“Leave me alone Twilight!” Before Twilight could say anything else, Rainbow ran out the door and shot off into the air.

Fresh tears slid down Twilight face and she hugged herself tightly. “I was just trying to be a good friend,” Twilight whispered to the empty where Rainbow had just been. Twilight wiped her eyes and stood on shaky legs. Rainbow may not want her help, but she needed it. With that thought in mind, Twilight flared her wings, and flew out the door after her friend.

                                -------------------------

“Stupid Twilight,” Rainbow muttered, landing on a cloud. “I don’t need help.” But even as she said those words a worm of doubt crawled into her mind, as she stared at her bandaged covered wrists. A part of her wanted to talk to somepony about what was happening to her, but the most part of her didn’t want to burden her friends with her problems, these were her scars and hers alone.

“RAINBOW!”

Rainbow turned around just as Twilight landed on her cloud. “I told you I don’t want to talk about it, Twilight!”

“Well I’m not going to sit idly by while you hurt yourself like this, for Celestia’s sake Rainbow, you almost killed yourself last night. If hadn’t of helped...”

Rainbow snarled and pushed Twilight away, and she almost fell of the cloud. “I WISHED YOU HADN’T! WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST LET ME DIE!” Twilight flinched as though she had been physically hit and fresh tears slid down her face. Rainbow groaned and bent over grabbing her head. “I’m... sorry Twi. I... -GAH!- I don’t know what came over me.”

Twilight hesitantly moved closer to her friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Rainbow, you need to let me help you, okay?”

Rainbow shook her head. “You can’t help me Twi. You saw the scars, I’m too fucked up.”

                               -------------------------------------------

“So how long have you been self-harming?” Twilight asked. It taken a lot of pleading and persuasion, but Twilight had finally managed to convince Rainbow to come back to the library with her and have at least one talk, and see where things went from there.

“Around three months now.” Twilight made a small noise and Rainbow noticed the Alicorn’s eyes were glistening with tears. “You okay Twi?”

Twilight wiped her eyes. “I’ll be fine Rainbow. Let’s continue. What caused you to start harming yourself?”

Rainbow frowned thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. I just woke up one morning bleeding from several cuts on my arms. I had no memory of doing that to myself, I just remember the feeling of how good it felt, like I was finally happy.”

Twilight frowned and read over what she had written down. “What did you mean when you said you had no memory of harming yourself.”

“Exactly that. It was like I had a huge blank space in my mind.”

“And what about the whipping scars.”

Rainbow hesitated. “I don’t remember what happened with that either. But it happened several days before the first time I cut myself.”

“What about you incontinence, when did that start?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Around the same time.”

Twilight wrote down a few more notes and bit her lip thoughtfully. “So all this started around three months ago, the whip marks, the cutting, and your incontinence. And for some reason you’re also having memory blanks in relation to these problems.” Twilight stared thoughtfully at her notes, it was like the answer she was looking for was hiding in plain sight but she just couldn’t see it. “Rainbow if it’s okay with you, I’d like to continue these sessions more regularly. And I still believe you should stay with me, at least for a couple of days.”

“Fuck that!” Rainbow said angrily, “I’m not...”

“Rainbow Dash! This is your life we’re talking about here. If these blackouts and memory loss are the reason for your self-harming, than you’re in serious danger of hurting yourself even more, or you could even hurt somepony else without even realizing it.”

“I don’t... fuck!” Rainbow said, placing a hand over her crotch and running to the bathroom, with a few drops of liquid leaking between her fingers.

“Oh Rainbow,” Twilight sighed, levitating a washcloth across the floor. “I just want to help you. Why is that so hard for you to see?” The Alicorn followed the trail of yellow liquid to the bathroom where Rainbow slammed the door on her.

“Just leave me alone Twilight!”

“Do you need any help, Rainbow?”

“NO!”

“Could I get you another diaper?”

Rainbow was silent for a moment. “I have some in my room, in a box under my bed.”

“I’ll be back in a moment.” Twilight’s horn glowed and she disappeared in a flash of violet light, and reappeared in Rainbow’s cloud house. The smell of metal hung heavily in the air, and Twilight paled at the thick crimson trail of blood leading from the kitchen to the front door. Holding a hand over her mouth and nose to block out the scent of blood, Twilight walked into Rainbow’s room where she grabbed the box of diapers from under the bed, and a new set of Rainbow’s clothes from the wardrobe.

“Rainbow, I’m back!” Twilight called out once she teleported back into the library. “I’ve got your diapers, and a new set of clothes.” The door to the bathroom opened and Rainbow walked out with a towel wrapped around her chest. Twilight’s mouth went dry, and a tear slid down her face, as she openly stared at the scars covering Rainbow’s body.

“Mind if I have a shower?” Rainbow asked, not caring about Twilight’s reaction to the damage done to her body.

“S-sure. Just try not to wet the bandages.” Without even a thankyou Rainbow grabbed the items from Twilight’s hands, and disappeared back into the bathroom. Twilight was about to walk away when Rainbow’s voice stopped her.

“Hey Twi, could you come in here for a sec?” Twilight hesitated a moment before walking into the bathroom where Rainbow was sitting on the toilet lid still dressed in her towel.

“What’s the matter Rainbow?” Rainbow closed her eyes and looked away from Twilight.

“I just wanted to apologize. I know you’re just trying to help me, and I’ve been treating you pretty awful. It’s just... some part of me doesn’t your help, and I get really annoyed and angry whenever you offer it. And that’s something a friend shouldn’t do.” Rainbow finally looked Twilight in the eyes. “So I’m sorry.”

Twilight smiled and pulled Rainbow into a hug. “Whatever you’re going through Rainbow, I promise I’m going to do my best to be there for you, and help you through this.”

Rainbow returned the hug. “Thanks Twi. But please be patient with me and try not to get too upset. And whatever you do, don’t tell anypony else about this. Promise.”

“I promise I won’t tell anypony else, Rainbow. But please think about wat I said about moving in with me, there’s still some chance of you blacking out and not just hurting yourself, but somepony else.”

Rainbow hesitated, than nodded. “I’ll think about it.”