Saving Private Pinkie

by FiddlesticksThePony

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 3128

Rainbow Dash and the mane 6 go on a mission to save Pinkie Pie and reunite the elements of harmony.

After a series of unforeseen circumstances Pvt.Pinkie is lost deep within zebra territory. It is up to the rest of the elements of harmony to take on the daring task of entering deep into enemy territory in order to save their friend and ally Pinkie Pie. But as internal conflicts increase within the group will they be able to save Pvt.Pinkie and unite the elements of harmony before they destroy themselves?

Published 2012-06-16 02:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-16 02:04:02 UTC

Chapter 1

The sun shone through the rips of a large tent, illuminating its interior just enough to stir the cyan pegasus mare sleeping on her cot.

“Is it morning already?” She yawned rubbing the sand out of her eyes which was quite a chore with a pair of hooves.

Still awakening from her daze the mare observed her surroundings, the dim light barely serving as a viable light source. Half eaten rations lay scattered around the tent floor sharing room with some old magazines, several tipped over barrels of apples that still haven’t been enchanted and some half empty jugs of extra hard apple cider. Out of the heaping pile of garbage you could call a “home” laid a single framed photo in immaculate condition on a makeshift night stand. The photo contained six ponies ranging from yellow all the way to pink huddled around each other expressing the joys of being together with youth beaming from their faces. She quickly placed the photo down on its face fearful of the emotions that it may invoke in her.

With her occupation there was no time for slacking around no time for getting moody. Lives were at stake and its burden lay on her shoulders. But against her better judgment the photo followed her wherever she went like an undying grudge. Like a window to the past the photo showed better days long past, joyous moments all before the war. . .

Even with such little exposure to the accursed item memory after memory began flooding into her head slowly sapping away at her grasp on reality. Slamming both hooves into her temples the cyan mare said “STAY OUT OF MY HEAD” nearly screaming just as a lavender mare with a silver stripe embroidered into her uniform walked into the mess you could call a living quarter.

“Well it seems like you’re up and about” said the lavender pony taking a seat on one of the fallen barrels.

“Cut the horse crap, now tell me what the hay are you in doing in my living quarters Lt.Sparkle” quickly regaining her composure from the previous scene.

“Well nothing much, just informing my COMMANDING OFFICER that it’s well past noon CAPTAIN DASH. We can’t have you sleeping on your lazy flank all day with a war going on over here” Twilight Sparkle replied in a rather obnoxious tone.

“Well as you can see I'm already wide awake so there's no need for the likes of you around here!” Rainbow Dash said gesturing toward the exit

Taking a hint Twilight Sparkle made her way toward the exit and was nearly halfway out the opening before quickly turning back and saying “Oh yeah by the way communications just received a message from HQ for you, Something from your C.O, it's probably just a bunch of useless crap.” before quickly leaving. With the absence of Twilight Rainbow Dash was now left alone with the company of herself and her thoughts on the earlier encounter. While their friendship had long since deteriorated and was now merely a shell of its former self there still remained a mutual respect between the two mares that ran deeper than any grudge could hope to destroy.

“If only there was some way I could make it up to her, something to make up for everything I’ve done”. Once again Rainbow Dash felt the ghosts of her past slowly work their way into her conscious all with but one question, what if? Fearing any further interactions with her inner demons Rainbow Dash quickly took a swig of apple cider from a nearby jug emptying its contents in ten seconds flat. While the alcohol wouldn’t last forever, for the short period of time that it was in effect, Rainbow Dash was free from the torment of her memories and could think clearly for a change.

“What a great way to start the afternoon, meet one of my former best friends, new orders and now I’m having trouble seeing straight.” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself while hastily getting dressed into her uniform.

“Might as well kill some time before heading over to communications, can’t exactly comprehend orders in my current state”

Walking out of the large tent Rainbow Dash was instantly greeted by two things. The blazing afternoon sun and salutes from several ponies that just happened to be walking by. Out of respect or poor observation no pony commented on their captain’s disheveled appearance which was rather obvious due to the fact that she made no attempt what so ever to improve upon or everypony just got used to it.

Making her way through the camp in a drunken daze she was surprised to see that she had made it as far as the infirmary in one piece. Except for the occasional scream and medic galloping about, the place seemed just like any other was it not for its enormous size and the giant Red Cross painted on the canvas roof. Hoping to kill some time and perhaps raise the morale of some ponies in need Rainbow Dash stammered into the infirmary only to lock eyes with the monstrosity that now lay before her.

“What the buck happened to you?” Rainbow Dash shrieked nearly jumping out of her skin.

The monstrosity of a mare upset at the sudden outburst attempted to voice her displeasure.

“Mrrmpprh”

Unfortunately for her it was impossible to form a comprehensible word let alone a sentence without a jaw.

“Um...Roseluck did your jaw fall off again?” a gentle voice called out trying to be heard over the rest of the chaos of medics galloping about attending to their patients.

After several instances of the phrase “excuse me” and “pardon me” a yellow pegasus mare with several splotches of blood on her uniform which was embroidered with a single golden arrow emerged from the chaos.

“What a surprise to see you in the infirmary for a change Captain Dash.” greeted the yellow pegasus mare with a smile

“Did you crash doing one of your drunken stunts again?”

“Thankfully no and you can stop with the formalities Fluttershy we’ve known each other how long now” Rainbow Dash replied as she pulled her longtime friend into a quick embrace

“Pardon me Rainbow Dash but you look like you could use a good cleaning up...That is if you don’t mind”

“I’m a mess? Look at bitey over here” Rainbow Dash replied gesturing at Roseluck

“What exactly caused this anyway?”

Fluttershy shrugged as she affixed Roseluck's jaw back in place “Um...Sorry but I have no idea but I did hear she ate one of Pinkies cupcakes or something”

“Damn it Pinkie Pie that’s the second time this week! We can’t have everypony having their jaws blow off every time they bite into a cupcake.”

“I could’ve sworn that I warned her last time to color code her cupcakes so we can tell which of those delectable treats are edible; Whose smart idea was it to leave Pinkie in charge of munitions anyway?”

“It was nice meeting you here Fluttershy. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to beat some sense into Pinkie Pie” Rainbow Dash fumed as she stormed out the infirmary.

“Well that was weird.” Fluttershy said returning to tend to her patient to unfortunately break the bad news to Roseluck.

“I’m sorry to say this Roseluck, but due to the excessive injuries to your jaw it’ll take about two hours to heal.”

Once again Rainbow Dash found herself wandering, with only her thoughts keeping her company. Thinking back to her earlier encounter with Fluttershy she realized there had been an absence of any conversation pertaining to Twilight Sparkle and their falling out. Thinking even further back it seemed as if all of her friends had been avoiding the topic in general. While the “incident” wasn’t too recent surely her friends would have at least heard something and perhaps help mend her friendship with Twilight? The thought slowly dawned on her. What if her friends were fearful of losing both Twilight and Rainbow as companions by meddling in their personal affairs? But as friends wouldn’t it be natural to help out a friend in need, if they still viewed her as one.

“I need a drink” Rainbow Dash grumbled before crashing into an orange earth pony mare practicing her aim on several mannequins.

“Watch it Sally, you nearly messed up my aim there” said the mare with her aim still on the target.

“Your shots seem like their straying toward the legs more often than not. It looks like you need to work on your aim more private. You have your pride as a sniper to uphold!”

“Well shucks cap’n didn’t expect to see you around the shooting range anytime soon. Y’all can stop with the formalities to, call me Applejack just like old times”

Seemingly offended by Rainbow Dash’s comment, Applejack casually bucked three apples in quick succession with god like speed and precision right into the head of her unfortunate target. “And whose sayin’ ah was missing?”

“Sorry for ever doubting your skills Applejack. But, would you care to explain why you were only aiming for the legs earlier?”

Applejack glanced far off into the distance in an attempt to rationalize her thoughts. “Let me ask you this Rainbow Dash, does war justify murder?”

“I’m not one for philosophy Applejack, but to tell you the truth, I believe that under no circumstances is killing justified.”

“Well then, can y’all explain to me how such a heinous act is a crime in times of peace, only to be rewarded during war?

“Soooooo, how does this have anything to do with you aiming for the legs again” Rainbow Dash replied at a loss for words.

“What I’m tryin’ to say cap’n, is that I can’t handle getting any more blood on mah hooves. The folks we be fighting, they have families back home waiting fer em.”

“You’re still aiming for them Applejack. Regardless of whether you’re aiming for the legs or the head some pony is going to die. The only difference between the two is that one is quick and painless, while the other is slow and agonizing.”

“But cap’n” Applejack protested “I’m still doing mah job. While it sure as heck isn’t as effective as aiming fer the head or body, but they’re still incapacitated.”

“Applejack I’m not trying to test your morals, but let’s say they don’t get done in by blood loss; which is in itself a terrible way to bite the dust. What we're left with is some pony too injured to defend themselves left at the mercy of whoever they may be facing.”

Rainbow Dash looked Applejack dead in the eye as she spoke. “Maybe just maybe they take the hit, get patched up just to come back doing what they do best, attacking our comrades.”

“Is it not our sworn duty to serve and protect Equestria’s national interest with our lives? Are you willing to jeopardize your fellow ponies in arms over such a selfish act?”

“Of course not cap’n ah think of my fellow comrades as if they were my own flesh and blood!” Applejack exclaimed leading to an awkward moment of silence between the two.

“Rainbow Dash?” Applejack called in a nervous tone. “You mind if I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead, just so long as it has nothing to do with my “preference” in ponies”

“Ah don’t know how to say this so excuse me fer being blunt, but how have you gotten used tah taking another life?” Applejack asked as she tried her hardest to avoid Rainbow Dash’s piercing gaze.

“You never do Applejack.” Rainbow Dash replied, her expression progressively getting darker. “The burden of taking another life never goes away, not until the day we feel death’s soothing embrace.”

“There's no way to reduce the burden, but that doesn’t mean we can’t cope with It.” her tone nearly becoming a laugh. “For every life I take, for every pony I lose that’s another one, ten, hundred maybe even a thousand lives saved. It’s as simple as doing the math, and that's how I cope with the burden.”

“You ok Rainbow Dash?” Applejack replied, showing great concern for her friend and commanding officer.

“Yeah don’t worry about it, I just need to find myself a drink.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly-” Applejack began.

“Soooooo Applejack,” Rainbow Dash interrupted “you have any idea where Pinkie is?”

“As I was saying that isn’t-”

“So is that a yes or a no?”

“Damn it Rainbow Dash, stop interrupting me!” Applejack exclaimed. “And yes ah do know where she is. Now as I was sayin’ you shouldn’t be solving yer problems with-”

“Then where is she?”

“Rainbow Dash.” Applejack replied.

“Yes?” Rainbow Dash answered nonchalantly.

“All of my hate, ALL OF IT”

“Now where exactly is she?” Rainbow Dash replied, unfazed by Applejack’s comment.

“There’s no use in tryin’ to find her, ah do believe she’s off doing some last minute trainin’ with her paratrooper division fer the upcoming invasion.”

“Hopefully we won’t get too many casualties crossing the Equine channel. If lucks on our side we just might be able to steamroll our way into Canterlot and liberate the damn place. With the elements of harmony back in our possession it should be smooth sailing for the rest of the war.” Rainbow Dash replied, as she unsuccessfully tried to lighten up the mood of the current topic at hand.

“Well thanks for the “interesting” conversation and the help. I think it’s about time I find out what communications is nagging me about.”

Rainbow Dash began making her way back into camp, but not before hearing Applejack’s voice calling her from behind.

“Stay golden, Ponyboy.” Applejack called before quickly vanishing out of sight.

“What the hay is that suppose to mean?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, but Applejack was already long gone before she could finish.

Without any further distractions Rainbow Dash continued her way down the dirt road back toward camp. “Stay golden, Ponyboy” what could such a simple phrase possibly mean, and who the hay was ponyboy? Rainbow Dash continued to ponder the simple phrase only to lose her train of thought when she noticed the sky was dyed a deep crimson. Quickening her pace to nearly a full gallop Rainbow Dash easily made her way to the small tent designated for communications.

Rainbow Dash made her way into the tent, only to walk in on a unicorn mare with a coat white as snow casting spell after spell on a small purple dragon, hunched over belching a torrent of scrolls in the corner. To the untrained eye, one would believe the mare was subjecting the unfortunate baby dragon to unspeakable torment. Fortunately the pair was instead playing a crucial role in the war by ciphering and deciphering messages while maintaining communication with the rest of the military. The snow white mare upon noticing the presence of Rainbow Dash took a break from her current task at hoof to greet her longtime friend. Rainbow Dash still preoccupied by the disturbing scene before her hardly noticed the mare standing right beside her.

“I have been expecting you Rainbow Dash; a scroll with your name came in with Colonel Derpy’s seal. It is of utmost importance that you read its contents ASAP.” Rarity said, her statement falling on deaf ears.

Unfortunately for Rarity, Rainbow Dash was completely absorbed by the sheer rate and volume of parchment expelled from the tiny dragon. This fascination was only broken by several taps on the shoulder.

“Sorry for nearly missing you there Rarity, but you just never get used it, no matter how many times you’ve seen it before. There also seems to be a ton of messages as of late, you sure Spike’s going to be all right?” Rainbow Dash asked, her look of bewilderment turning to one of concern.

“There’s no need for alarm Rainbow Dash. I’m sure this is perfectly safe, right Spike?”

“Yeah Rainbow Dash, this is nothing compared to what Twilight used to put me through.”

As if on cue, Spike immediately began to spew a seemingly unending torrent of parchment into the ever increasing pile beside him. In a show of expert skill and precision, Rarity in almost no time at all magically sorted the colossal pile into neat rows separated by subject, date and time received; how Rainbow Dash noticed this at first glance I have no idea, but in an attempt to explain it, magical talking ponies.

“How the hay are you sorting them by subject without looking at a single scroll?” Rainbow Dash asked with a quizzical expression on her face.

“Care to explain how you knew exactly what I was doing without any clues, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity replied with an equally puzzled expression.

“I don’t know . . .”

“Rainbow Dash my dear. Even if I could somehow explain to you in words the events that have transpired before you, the resulting speech would become unfathomable.”

“I’m not going to even try understanding what you just said, but could I just get that stupid scroll I came here for?” Rainbow Dash growled

“No need to be impatient darling, if you wanted it sooner you merely had to ask.” Rarity replied as she levitated a scroll into the hooves of Rainbow Dash.

The simple scroll felt like lead in her hooves; just another responsibility, another chance of failure. Failure, the word echoed in her head, taunting her, haunting her every waking thought and action. Rainbow Dash could kick dragons and brush off a changeling invasion, but just the simple thought of being branded a failure made her blood run cold. One would think if you hated what you did why not quit? The thought constantly came to mind, but being the element of loyalty she found herself time after time doing what she hated most, having everypony rely on her.

“Well, aren’t you going to open it?” Rarity asked gesturing toward the scroll in Rainbow Dash’s hooves snapping her back into reality.

“Yeah I’ll open it, but sheesh give me a moment here.” Rainbow Dash replied as she undid the muffin clasp, unfurling the scroll.

Skimping through most of its contents, Rainbow Dash noticed that Twilight was partially correct. Most of the information pertained to the upcoming assault, information she already knew. Rainbow Dash was just about to put down the scroll only to have her blood run cold at the sight of her new orders.

“Something wrong Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, noticing her friend’s constant fidgeting.

“There’s nothing wrong Rarity, everything is perfectly fine;” Rainbow Dash replied, her left eye twitching uncontrollably at this point. “Only the fates of thousands of lives now lie on my shoulders.”