hi, i'm a god. nice to meet you.

by thatguy45

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 621

so a dude is turned into god. typical.

arco and mel. two average guys who decided to go to a con.

they get sucked into a portal.

now, arco is a god like being who's every action can influence the universe on a fundamental level, and mel has become a demonic creature who has the entirety of hell and heaven in his hat(literally).

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-05 03:27:18 UTC

well that happened.

"i am so fucking ready for this." i was so happy, i was literally jumping up and down in my seat.

"arco. calm your nonexistent tits. you can have a fit at the con." mel, the awesome bastard that he was, had gotten two tickets to a local convention, despite it being sold out for at least a month. unfortunately, neither of us had had time to put together any costumes. so we were going as ourselves, and hope not to attract much negative attention.

the con was, as usual, great. but, as usual, arco could feel himself start to drift away from the more populated booths. he eventually found his way to an almost empty booth, except for one thing: a slot machine. a one-armed bandit, to be precise.

"five bucks to use it." said the small man behind the counter, never looking up from his weird looking book. "it gives you super powers."

arco raised his eyebrow, but for some reason that seemed oddly compelling. he shrugged, and put a five in the slot on the side. taking in a breath, he pulled the arm.

never fall asleep on a raft. that's the advice for the day. don't ever. i slowly clambered back onto the raft, and shivered.

"fuck. i will never do that again." 'yes i will.' "well i'll try not to." i shook my wings, and got off most of the water.

"um, excuse me?" i craned my neck up, and i saw a grey pegasus with a couple of bubbles for a cutie mark looking down at me.

"yes?"

she pulled something out of her bag that i didn't notice earlier. "here." she dropped it down to me. "have a nice day!" i waved as she left, and wondered for a second, 'how did she find me all the way out here?'

i shrugged off that line of thinking. i stopped trying to understand ponies centuries ago. the letter was a simple scroll, with a celestial seal. i slashed the wax with a claw, and read the contents.

blah blah blah, princess luna is free, blah blah blah, discord, blah blah blah... my eyes widened. "shit."

Celestia was having a harrowing day. Cerberus had left tartarus, and her student was working herself ragged trying to stop some sort of disaster that her future self warned her about. she didn't know if those things were connected, but she decided that she would need a bit of extra help.

so, within moments of sending two letters, one summoning her protege, Twilight Sparkle, to Canterlot, and the other sent to Mel, she evacuated the entire city, guards and all.

"p-Princess, is this all really necessary?" a quick glance over showed her twilight sparkle, the element of magic and her personal student.

"yes, twilight. if he feels threatened, he might attack."

"who would attack?"

"the most fearsome beast in all of equestria. he nearly killed me and my sister, and almost destroyed tartarus. he also has killed over 500 dragons, and personally eradicated the northern tribe of changelings, all 6000 of them, in one night."

twilight gulped. "if he's done all that, what makes you think that he'll show up?"

she smiled down at her young student. "because, twilight, the problem that may have arisen will affect both us and him."

Twilight opend her mouth to speak, but a furious roar unlike anything she had ever heard overtook what ever it was she was about to say. looking up, she was not greeted by the sun, but a massive bird, larger than any natural creature should be, blocking it.

"princess? is that...?"

she nodded. "yes. that is the being I summoned to canterlot.