Agents of discord

by MuseofDarkness

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Crossover, Discord, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3186

Discord Cartman now has a good life ahead of him with his family but when Tirek escapes it's all downhill from there

Discord is truly attempting to redeem his past crimes both as Discord and Eric Cartman but Tirek escapes from Tartarus and frames Discord for the death of Cadace and Shining Armor causing Luna to go on a warpath . Now Discord must stand against good and evil . To do so he starts an organization dedicated to chaos . The agents of Discord

Published 2015-05-05 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-07 03:58:41 UTC

The rising

The rising

For years now after Discord told his origin story and adopted Scootaloo things were finally beginning to return to normal in ponyville after the incidents involving Tirek and Starlight Glimmer. Nopony thought normalcy wouid ever come again after all, normal was not at all normal for Equstria. However everypony seemed much happier now that Discord was more open and friendly then before . Finally after his horrid past the spirt of chaos would get a happy ending .
To bad it was just the calm before the storm

Tirek had finally done it he'd escaped from Tartarus . It wasn't at all easy he had to break his chains using the strongest magic he had Ava like which was extremely had to get. He had to outfit Cerberus which was the easiest part of the plan due to the creature not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. He was able to reach the gates of Tartarus but he still didn't have enough magic to break free on his own . He would need outside help fortunately for him he'd been communicating with an unknown outside ally via dreams. So that dark magic allowed him to escape . He would crush those who imprisoned him but first he would need more power.

Tirek spent the few days sucking the magic out of any living screature he encounter making sure to stay hidden in the shadows . Then when he was finally at a suffant power leval he made his way to the crystal empire . He made short work of the guards that tried to stop him. Candace and Shining Armor were more of challage but they soon fell to his majority increased power and this time he'd make sure they never rose again.

Days later in ponyvillie

Discord was dreaming of being a superhero. His good dream didn't last though it began to fall apart as ponies in his dream world began to wither and die.. Then he heard a loud knocking noise and somepony calling out his name. He awoke with a scream. Then he realized the noise had been somepony knocking the door and calling his name from outside . He crept out of bed passed Rainbow Dash then past Scootaloo's room where she'd been holding a sleepover and past the couch where Lightening Dust who was staying with them until she found a job slept. He opened the door and found Luna and a battalion of royal guards.

" Oh hello Luna what con I do you for?"

Discord said trying to be polite even though he was annoyed at being woken up. Luna glared daggers at him and shouted in a voice that would shatter hundreds of mirrors..

" Discord you and all who are now associated with you are under arrest for murder, genocide and treason as ordered by myself , Celestia and Twilight !!"

Discord backed up in fear

" What makes you think I would do that ?! I'm reformed and I have a family now!"

Discord's voice shook with surprise and fury . Luna laughed without humor.

" The crystal empire is in ruins and has the damage and magical energy only chaos magic can inflict. Not only that but we found the following hoof prints at the crime scene. Yours , your daughter and her friends , Rainbow Dash , Pinkie Pie , Trixie Lulamoon , Spike the dragon , and Lightening Dust. You are all under arrest tomorrow we will let you get your sleep toying her but in the mourning you'll be staring a new life. One inside a dungeon fir all eternity. Discord begged and pleaded tried to explain that he must've been framed but the decision was final . Discord had to act fast he quickly gathered up all the inhabitants of the chaotic cloud home including Scootaloo's friends. He used his magic to teleport all of accused individuals. Most of them were not ecstatic about being sent there in their sleep.

"What is the meaning of this Discord the great and powerful Trixie needs her beauty to sleep to be the most powerful unicorn in
" Yeah what's the big idea dweeb!? I'm to tired to hang out right now !"

Spike was the only member of the group that was even remotely grateful at first. That was because he was in procees if being arrested when he was teleported there.
" where are we going mr Discord ?"

Sweetie Belle asks tiredly. Discord gave the. filly a sad smile
" a new home " .

The group plus Scamp the Timberwolf pup headed for the everfree forest. Discord hid them in fort surrounded by plunder vines. Ok now that we're all safe can somepony tell me what the bucking Tartarus is going on here?! " Rainbow Dash screamed in anger abd frith.
Discord explained what he'd been told. This made the entire group outraged that they wouid be accused of such a crime. Spike was able to calm the group down .
" Guys I think I may no who framed us . A couple of days ago Twilight was sent to investigate the problem at the crystal empire I tagged along. I noticed that the bodies of every sighs dead pony were limp and dry almost like their souls had been stolen. "

Discord knew immediately who was behind this
" Of coarse that traitor asshole Tirek! He's escaped !"

Discord spat the name out in disgust.

." He wants revenge upon us for imprisoning him !"

Spike looked at Discord , Dash and Pinkie who had equal amounts of fear on their faces they shivered in fear remembering when Tirek had stripped all of Equstria of its life force. It certainly didn't help the the princesses were after them either. They were usally kind and generous rulers but when they were this angry there's no telling what cruel , twisted things they would do. Discord made a decision. He decided that if both good and evil were going to hunt them he wouid fight them both he'd played for both teams his entire life he saw no reason he couldn't do it again. From that day forward they became known as the agents of discord. Dedicated to destroying the tyranny that had consumed the world through anti heroism and chaos.

Over time their organization grew. Every living creature that bad a grudge against the princess or feared Tirek joined The bulk of of army donated of monsters from the everfree forest , diamond dogs, Griffins , dragons and changelings. However there were ponies who were now fugitives who joined including film and flam , Suri Polomare and prince Blueblood who found refuge in the group. Soon enough Discord realized they wouid need a headquarters far away from Equstria for a army this large . That's when Discord had a wonderfully awful idea . He had the perfect location fir a chaotic organization such as this one .

" So we're really gonna see your hometown dad ?"

Scootaloo asked. Her eyes shined with wonders about seeing her adopted father's childhood first hoof.
" Of coarse it's the most chaotic place i now! Don't worry we should get there with some easy time spells."

Discord smirked at the thought of taking over the town that warned him beyond repair and get his revenge on Tirek , Celestia and Luna at the same time. This was going to be fun. Bloody and Insane but lots and lots of fun.
He looks at a picture of Kyle that he's held onto his entire life.

" Your gonna get yours Kyle ! Prepare for the wrath of Discord !"

A new home.

A new home.

It took quite a long time to reach the time when the town of South Park still existed but they finally managed to do it. Luckily they reached it during the daytime so everyone inside it would be awake. Discord snapped his fingers and have all his friends human bodies .

" This feels really weird.."

Lightening Dust commented as she struggled to walk on two legs. Discord sighed at them as he changed inti his old body. It felt odd being back in his original shape like he was wearing cloths he hadn't tried on in years.

" You'll get used to it. Now come one we've got important business to attend to!"'.
They ran as fast as they could into town. They didn't say hello to anyone they simply ran until Discord found Kylie's house. He'd remembered where it was after thousands of years. He rapidly knocked the door several times waiting impatiently for someone to answer it. Soon enough Kyle got the door and had rather annoyed look on his face when he saw Cartman standing at the door.

" What do you want Fatass? And who are these guys behind you?"

Kyie snapped he wasn't in the mood for one of Cartman's crazy ideas. The fat boy/ chaos spirt heaved a heavy sigh and frantically looked around.

" Listen j- I mean Kyie . I know this is going to sound crazy but we have to talk to you about something.. It's literally a matter of life and death. " p

Kyle raised his eyebrow and face palmed with a sigh.

" Let me guess there a new console out and you wanna start a war over it or something.."

Cartman glared at his Jewish rival in utter disbelief and fury.

" No Kyie I'm sayijg the a actual real matter of life and death. As in the entjrebunivesevwill grow frail and die if we don't save it!"
Kylie's eyes widen in fear and he sighed again. Although thjs time it was out of appceptace rather then annoyance.

" Ok come inside and tell me what's going on Cartman."

Cartman and the others sat Kyie down. Making sure he was home alone and began explains what had happened over the last couple thousand years.... When the story was finally fished. Kylie's eyre were the size of saucers and he was shaking his head in exasperation.

" So you're telling me you're really Cartman from the future where ponies are the.major species and yiu were imprusoned in stone for a thousand years?

Kyie scratches his head he isn't quite sure what to make of the whole situation. Cartman gowns and sighs.

" Yes I no it's hard to understand or believe but it's the truth."
He shanks his chubby fingers revealing his Discord form. Kyoe gasps as the huge spirt that was his friend , enemy and rival towers over him like a giant snake creature.

" but how couid this happen?! It dosn't make any sense once or ever!"

Discord snarled upon hearing the word sense come out of Kylie's mouth. That cursed word coming to mock him yet again.

" Kyie things not making sense is part of the reason why I became what I am today! I realized a long time ago that nothung in the word or any word for that master makes sense! It's all just pure chaos and disharmony! Think about you idiot when was the last time anything something we did or something that happens to us ever make any sense?! You died before the war between ponies and humans started but .. When I killed starswirl the bearded's wife. He cursed me and tye energy ofbtyevcurde combined with my alrrady chaotic energy quickly turged me into Discord. What I'm trying to say is.. You and Stan go around trying to pretend like thugs make sense of have order in this works but they don't. It's all a lie!"

Kyie thiught rather hard about and strangely the thinking Cartman / Discird was using had a missive amount of logic behind it. Things that happened in their insane lices made almksost knkw sense at all. Perhaps Cartman was right and it was all just random chaos Kyie wouid continue to search for the hidden order throughout pythons adventure though.

" Ok Cartman so why are you coming to us for help?"

Discord shook his head in defeat.

" A short while ago I was falsely accused of murder and genocide of an entire empire. Those goddesses I warned you of before Celestia and Luna are coming for me and my friends. It need to hide us somewhere safe and since thus is the most chaotic and crazy place I've ever known I chose to stay here."

Kyoe smirked smugly and chucked.

" Well considering its you we're talking about here I wouldn't be surspted if you did it."

That was it. When Kyie said that something inside Discord snapped. He used his magic to lift kyiebup , slam his body against a nearby wall and began to choke him.
" Take that back you damm Jew! You're part of the reason I became thus damm minster! You made me loose my sanity! Do you see the thing you've created Kyi?! It's ugly isn't it! Right it's hideous! And it's all your fault! "

Just as he was about to finish fully suffocating Kyie Scootaloo cried out to him.

" Dad please stop! It's ok your not a monster ! You're a great dad and., I'm proud of you.!"
She runs up and Hugh's him tightly. This causes him to drop Kyie , look at her smiling hugely and hugs her back. Kyie Starr's fir a few minutes. He's totally stunned by Cartman's behavior toward Scootaloo. He actually wasn't aware that Cartman couid love somebody other then himsekf. Thjs whole scene really moved him.

" Ok I'm really sorry Cartman even you don't deserve the shit you've been through. If your wiling to put this behind us I'll reluctantly to help you."'
Discord looked up at his old rival with a serious gleam in his eyes.
" Thank you Kyle. Now this isn't the only thing we have to woory about. Thers also a ancient evil rising as we speak. One that I once helped when he tricked me into betraying my friends he told me he had something more powerful then friendship. Like the fool I was I believed him. To stop him and the princceses from destroying all chaotic forces I started a team of agents. The agents of Didcord dedicated to anti heroism!"
Kyie smiled slightly he couldn't deny that the things Cartman managed to pull off sometimes we're really amazing in both good and horrible ways. Discord saw his admiration and smirked.

" Yes yes I know I'm awesome. But let me make one thing perfectly clear Kyie I've made sure you and my other former friehds don't betray me or the tam. How you ask? Well your almost literally a puppet on a string right now. Thers not much you can do that I don't allow you to do first!

He called with sadistc glee . Kyie sighed and lokked annoyed once again. At least he he knew he was still dealing with Eric Theodore Cartman. . The team raced off to gayer their other friends including Cartman's former self. It took forever to explain the whole thug to them and they had various reactions to the huge news. Stan only had oneb thing to say.
" ok .. What the fuck?"

Kenny was really cool with it . He smiled as they explained what was going on.

" Well it's not the craziest thing we've ever been thrown into. Plus the God of chaos role fits Cartman really well. "
He smiled and considered the idea of his former best friend controling chaos itself. It was a scary yet hilariius thought. Buttes said nothing he simply stared at Discord like a fan girl stared at new pop sensation star. Discord was actually afraid he was going to get raped that night. Cartman's reaction was this.

" Ha I always told you guys if be cooler than you guys in the future.. Oh wait I already am!"
He and Discord shared a laugh as Stan , Kyie and Kenny all shot glares at them. Tyat silenced them quickly. Discord got an idea p as quickly as the laugher ended.

" Wait I've got a job for my former self to do!"

He snapped hs talons and turfed Cartman into living doll version of himself. Then he gave Cartman to Scootaloo. Who hugged him.

" Hey what the hell is going on?!"

Cartman snapped glaring at his future self in confusion. Discord smirked as he responded.
" Your new job Eric is to keep my little girl and her five friends company while we fight thjs terrible 3 way war."

Cartman grumbled sourly to himsef as his friefds minus Butters snickered at his dismaying situation . Butters , the cmc , Diamknd a Tiara all giggled and poked at him. He tried to bite them on the fingers but was unable to do so.
" your so cure now Eric!"'
But yes giggled as he poked at his cheeks.

" Yeah I really likebyoyr mane - I mean hair!"
Sweetie Belle chimes in poking his still pudgy stomach.

" I've got to admit this really cool."
Diamond Tira agrees with a grin . Silver Spoon simply nodded rapidly. Cartman grande. Thisfwasvtertibbe irony. A guy who lied dolls was now turned into one and knew how they felt.

" Wel.. Thers a big sunrise."

He mutters under his breath sarcastically.. As his tormentors continued to poke and or laugh at him the combined team rushed to spread the word to evryone. Most of the kids and teenagers backed Discord and the agents coming to powe Especially after he showed them chocolate rain clouds. They felt with chaos they wouid be free to do whatever theybwahtedvwith no restructures . They certain,t didn't want the univese obliterated by Tirek either. The adapts resented the chance more and thought back in small numbers. Their efforts were in vain howler . When the the chaos army , the kids and teenagers along with adult supporters of Discord led by Randy Marsh fought them off. After the battles were one. Discord and the teams plunged the town into pure, reality altering chaos. The monsers infested the streets. Which were now soap. Houses floated upside down abd rain of all kinds came down. The sun and moon constantly switched places in the sky and kids were free to roam. The ponies of the team started new lives in this chaos town. Becoming Fa,it's and powerful. Certain racist things also trabforyed the place which Kyie compared to Discord about shortly after. Cartman was starting to like his new job. He didn't mind seeing Scootaloo hold him when the moon was out. It sortie made him.. Happy. Shortly after the new world had been established it wouid be disturbed.
Twilight cme crashing into town and attacked Discord.

" Discord I've come to avenge my family!"
She shrieked at him. Discord narrowed his eye he wouid reason with er later now it was time for he and his army to fight.
To be continued.