Everfree Incident

by Celestial Nyx Nova

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 4630

Trust me when I say that you can and will screw up and It will be on your head. Going Into the Everfree forest not only Is dangerous, It's also very stupid and manipulating If you don't know what you're doing. So look and know this: don't copy me.

This Is canon to Rising Hope 2: The Harmony Of Equestria

After returning home to their loved ones and family after being wrongly accused and being Incarcerated by the backstabber Azure Light, Frank's first thought was to track down the scum and make her pay, but he goes about It differently and ends up In more trouble than he can get out of.

An Idea I wanted to try out so I don't expect any hype from this.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-09 04:36:06 UTC

You Can Leave Or Live With It!

Curses Can Resurface And Be Immersive

Frank's Pov:

Now In hindsight, this could be worse, but I actually thought Azure could be In there, but we came back out with less than we started with. How In Hell's name did this happen?

Day 1:

After enjoying my little date with Lavender, which by the way I would think yours truly Is a player. Yea, I was born with the gift of gab, so-

''Hey, get your head out of the gutter, rookie.'' Valiant Barrier broke my train of thought. Bastard.

''Yea, what Is It?''

''We're about to set off for your little 'Idea' and since you're the one who came up with this: figured you make want to take point.''

Damn, hate when he gets under my skin like that. Readjusting my new gear, courtesy of Iron over here, I looked to the Everfree forest and smirked.

''She's gotta be In there.''

''And how do you know that? The Zebra, Renoir questioned my skills.

''I know because I have a set of particular skills. Skills I have acquired over a long period of time. Skills that make me-

''Enough, already: we're burning daylight and I want to get this over with.'' The unicorn huffed.

Fine, beside I have better stories to tell when we get In there. Hoisting  my bag of supplies on my shoulder, we proceeded Into the charred underbrush of the forest, Ponyville slowing fading away as the path In front of us got darker and more ominous, but that bothered me not In the least. What does however Is how quickly the scenery changes and the overall mood shifts. The sound of grasshopper chirping and wild animals howling around us did nothing for me really. Coming out In a clearing, we surveyed the area: wide and circular with a surrounding treeline that gave a view of a cave uptop a small ridge.

Settling for that, I deemed that to be the first place to check as any for a snake. Putting on my gun gauntlets, or Shock-charge, i slowly made my way over to the cave, taking light steps on the damp ground to cushion my footsteps. Holding up the stop signal with one hand, I cleared my thoughts and fired a flash round, the projectile leaving my chamber with a blam and going down the hold further than I thought until It hit rock and flashed brightly, revealing nothing?

Hopping on a ledge to get a better look, I put my hands on my hips and pouted.

''Perfectly good waste of a-''Ahh!'' A large screech filled my ears. Peering down, a rather large mass flew up and scared the shit out of me, making my fall on my rump. A swarm of dark colored, almost grim looking bats with rather large fangs flew around us.

''I hate bats!'' Spike scurried around In fear.

''Get them off me!'' Iron yelled.

Groaning, I steadied myself and reloaded to more appropriate ammo. Thrusting my fist upwards, another shell discharged from the barrel and struck one In the stomach that flopped on my lap, the blood getting on my jeans. Voicing my disgust, I quickly got up and began laying down some fire, Intent on killing as many of these pests as I could. Being swarmed from all directions, I shot some down while Valiant and Flashing settled on stunning or electrocuting them, Zareran  and Gizmo using their claws to slash while Spike and Kanaranx settled on roasting with their fire. Going at this for a few minutes, we failed to see the damn things fly off with our food. And to make matters worse, somehow It began to downpour on us, the rain water quickly dampening my clothes and sticking to me. And to top It all off, we seem to have guests who obviously have no manners.

A snarl emanated from the throat of a Manticore as the rest slowly circled around us, cutting off our escape route. Seeing no other way out than to force our way, we only have one choice at this point.

''Okay, so far not 1 hour In and we already have hostility In the air.''

''I knew this was a bad Idea, I knew I shouldn't have listened to you.'' Valiant sighed.

''Yea, love you too buttercup: now stop whining and start fighting.'' I focused as the heel of my foot contacted with the jaw of the overgrown cat as It got pushed back and looked at me with rage as It charged forward and swiped at me, a narrow call as the claw grazed my knee guards and gave me a quick startle as I slid back. Rushing forward and releasing a shell, the Impact carved a hole through a stinger to which It spewed out some green fluid and the beast gave way and tumbled to the ground. Grabbing some mud, I hurled It at another that tried to leap but slid across and met the business end of Battering's hooves as It was dazed and a bullet was drilled through his skull. With Spike and Kanaranx working In tandem with their fire, Valiant and Flashing using magic, and Iron, Renoir and Battering resorting to bucking, we seemed to be holding our own.

Prepping myself for another attack, my hands caught the Incoming stinger and struggled for a moment before until I got some leverage to jump over and snap It In half, a roar of protest sounded as the remaining flocked upon us, Intent on bodily harm when a massive tree fell down, separating us we were provided enough time to escape. Going the opposite direction, the pitter patter of the rain hitting against the leaves of the tree as we left our assailants In the dust. We ran for a few minutes until the roars began to die down and we had a chance to relax and make sense of what happened. Making sure everyone was present, I spotted a dense grove of trees to settle down.

''Okay, so...that...happened.'' My heart was racing. Shooting me a dirty look at me, Valiant might have wanted to kill me but Instead decided on keeping a eye out as Kanaranx proclaimed: ''That was fun! Who wants to do It again?'' He offered.

Chirp-Chirp...

''...''

''Or we could do something else, that's fine too.'' The dragon leaned against a tree. Time to asses our situation: I've planned a mission to try and track down Azure, the backstabbing unicorn In possibly the most dangerous place I know In Equestria. Our food was stolen by bats and were ambushed by a group of manticores, and now....I've lead the guys with me and are lost. At least we have each other. Now I need to figure out what to do next, but I don't know what!  Jamir always made leading so easy and seemed to have things locked down, and what have I done? Nothing, just like everything else: I could never help, only give words of encouragement as a voice In his head and now that I have my own body, I can't even take two steps without making someone either pity or belittle me. Since nobody'll be here to hold my hand and turn this around, the task falls to me. If this plan fails then we'll take It from there. Getting up, my whole body shook with uncertainty and yet I gave this a whirl.

''Alright guys, check this out: we have no food, no sense of direction, and most of all: we don't have a lot of gear so the stuff we have now.'' -, I gestured to our gear.  -''will have to get us to survive until we get out of here.''

The looks on their faces told me how they thought I was bullshitting, and they could be right, but would rather take a slight doubt than nothing else. My first order of business would be to secure some food. Seeing as our light provisions were pillaged by fruit bats and not knowing how long we could be In here plays a major role In hunger. My only option would be to make a meal out of those already dead manticores, but that might have problems of skinning and cooking, not to mention-No wait! That's kinda of Irrelevant:I'd have to get the damn thing first and then I can worry about those small details. With that In mind, Kanaranx and I set off back to the site of our little skirmish. Walking back, the sloshing of the mud slowed us down and the rain obstructed my eyes as the dark leaved trees and the fog of the forest floor got thicker.

''Damn, I can't see where my feet Is-Whoa!'' I tripped, my clothes getting covered. Wiping dirt out of my eyes, my hands felt around for what I tripped over until I felt something furry and wet. Bringing a finger to my lips, the smell was bitter and stinging. A claw helping me up, we came across a fallen corpse and Kanaranx and me hefted It up, the limp body beginning to filter out a odorous, putrid smell that I held my breath for the remainder of the trip.

5 minutes later:

''Ohh, now I get It!'' Kanaranx slapped a claw to his face ''It was meant to not be In there so you'd feel ticked! Yay-Yay! what do I win?''

Groaning, I have just realized that I have to have the worst person to conversate with. You thought Peter Griffon and Homer Simpson was bad? This guy Is a true character: every other word out his mouth Is either nonsense or and/or stealing my job AND! very shitty too, might I add. Bringing  the corpse here was the 'somewhat' easy part, now comes to the part of skinning It. But then even that would be hard.

And how they feel about this? Me, I can eat meat just fine, no problem, however the Idea of eating another creature may not be assuring to the rest of them.

''Look guys, I understand that your species are herbivores and for that I know how you must feel. But would you rather starve or just suck up your pride and do this.''

''Can't we get some fruit or something?'' Battering grimaced.

''No.'' I deadpanned. '' This Is the Everfree: nothing safe could possibly grow here so what's your choice?''

...

Just like I thought.

Taking a look at the dead animal, my first thought was to get rid of the fur. Figuring the only ones with means to actually cook this thing by standard means, Spike and Kanaranx can take care of that. Breathing a little fire on their claws, they each took a side and separated the Innermost layer of fur and wings from the skin, revealing a large mass of hair. flipping It over, we broke off the stinger and was left with skin. Making a Incision down the middle, I took hold of the leathery and pulled back to feast upon a plethora of different organs, the heart still beating though albeit faint while the lingering smell of something akin to rotten eggs and cough syrup had me gagging. Based on what Fluttershy told about animal anatomy: the safe parts would be the heart, liver, kidney, and In some cases...I want to say the spleen.

''Ugh, goodness, a lot of things I've done that I'm not proud of, but this? This'll top It.'' Valiant shook his head.

With him losing confidence In doing this, he must have no backbone at this kind of thing as everyone else looked on with disgust. The question Is who will be the first to try this? Basically with nobody volunteering, once again It falls to me.

''Hey Spike, can you spark me a fire?''

''Mmm-hmm!'' The dragon spewed out a stream of fire In the other direction at a steady pace as I chose to try the liver. Reaching with my bare hand, the texture of the gray colored organ was slimy and gooey. Feeling some liquid Inside, I took a huge breath and rushed my hand forward and yanked It out, severing It from the arteries holding, squeezing to a similar character from MKX. Finding a stick and piercing It through, the heat began to roast and bring a stream trail to life as I wondered what It could taste like when I pulled away to observe the current state and let It cool down.

''Here goes nothing.'' I opened my teeth and chomped down.

''Well, how Is It?'' Flashing wondered.

''To be honest It doesn't taste all that bad. I can't really give It a comparison, but mildly bitter and chewy.'' I shrugged. Passing It around, they each took a look and copied me until It got to Valiant who looked absolutely mortified. Sighing, he hesitantly took a bite and swallowed. Watching was a tad hard to watch as I could almost feel his discomfort at taking this step. It may be Interesting to hear his opinion and yet I don't.

''This tastes...decent.'' He groaned.

Finding that to be a acceptable response, he passed It around to everypony else and took a bite. With that being taken care of, the next thing to do would be-

Squish, Crunch!

Turning to the source, Kanaranx got In the jist a little too well as the Manticore's skull was removed and skull was crushed open as the pink, mushy bits of the brain was shovelled Into his maw.

''Mmmph, mmmph,mmm!'' He mumbled.

Massaging my temples, the next thing I did was take a seat on a log and say: ''Same here, same here.'' Next order of business: find our way out by sunrise, I would not stay here and longer than Is needed to.

Eh, I tried.

Really?

''There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.”

Unknown.

Day 2:

The glow of the night sky was shown ever now and then, revealing certain phases of the moon at a time. Following the previous turn of events: namely exploring this forest with no sense of direction and no outward assistance. The rain Initially poured, turning the once soft dirt Into mud and the runoff tripping on the leaves of the trees. Walking through exhausted with the taste of Manticore organs on his breath, Frank sighed. He was tired, covered In filth, and most of all: lost. Again, while he acted reckless and cocky, he once was a voice ever wandering depths of Jamir's mind. How? How was leading a team any different than just telling people what to do. The result of his actions led to so many things, certainly more than can be handled ate away to the back of his mind. ''Why did I have to play the hero only to have It backfire? The least I can do Is to stand and watch someone else do It.'' His mind was In the gutter right now. Valiant, Renoir, Flashing, Zareran, Spike, Kanaranx, Battering, and Iron all looked to tire to care, remains of dried blood on the former and latter's claws while everpony was soaked to the bone.

''We're lost.'' Valiant simply said.

Throwing him a look of mild anger, he stopped and agreed. ''Yea, so what If we're lost? Do you think you can do any better?'' The human laid his hands to his hips. ''I do. Unlike you, I can get us out of here In 5 minutes tops.'' He boasted. Now that brought a frown and raised eyebrow to Frank's face. Finding his answer to be less than ture, might as well see the worth of his word.

''Fine, you take the lead, 5 minutes.''

Moving to the front, the sound of his booming voice got the group up, the almost nonexistent Diamond Dog barely making a noise as nobody taking notice to his open eyes and stiff ears, looking In every other direction. ''Alright! We follow my pace and warmth of the rising sun will be upon us before you know It.''

With that In mind, Valiant turned around and trotted forward, the group following after. The night sky In Equestria was truly a sight to behold, however the gloomy surroundings of the dark-leaved trees and curious blue colored flowers were unappealing and provided little In the form of comfort. His expertise so far proved go as far as a sloth. If one thing could be deduced: This Is a maze. And the possible best thing was unknown to them until moving past some fallen trees and came across a old, deserted castle In the distance, connected by a rickety bridge.

''Where are we?'' The Earth pony smith asked.

''It looks like a castle.'' Valiant replied.

''I wonder If this'll be Important somehow?'' Was the Initial group's thought. ''Nah.''

Turning back, Frank spoke up: ''Time's up, I go back to leading, something you have no skill for.'' He scoffed.

That comment made Valiant whinney and do a double take as he grinded his teeth together.

''What?! Look here, you bucking rookie: I will have you know my worth was proved when I volunteered In the Great Equestria War! 12 years I put my heart, soul, and tears Into every second I was there and I am damn proud of It! I lead and fought alongside some of the best and greatest ponies In battle: Fiery Hart, Graceful Wind, Colonel Purpledart, Commander Cloudchaser and even fought side by side with Princess Celestia herself so don't you even try and slander my name, tactics, or principles you ape.'' He growled.

Standing his ground, Frank hissed and retorted: ''So?! From day 1, you've been a complete ass to me! Whatever you went through I can't pretend to understand, but you can leave your bullshit military stories In the past! And here I thought there was something wrong when It was you!'' He pointed a finger at the unicorn.

The air was quiet, nopony spoke as the standoff with the unicorn and human seemed to last for ages until the latter turned and said: ''Fuck you, Valiant Barrier, fuck you. Spike, Gizmo, Iron, and Kanaranx you coming?'' He asked. They seemed hesitant at first, but nonetheless came to his side.

The unicorn played his hand by saying: ''Let's see who gets out first.''

...

Frank proceeded to put the middle finger and walk the opposite direction, his group following suit.

''And good riddance!...''

A short while passed since the human stormed off, the Diamond dog, two dragons, and Earth pony walking behind him. Rage, disappointment, doubt and  most of all: confusion flooded Frank's mind so quickly that It reached Its zenith In a matter of seconds. This all proved pointless coupling the fact of the fight between the Royal guard and him. Words were exchanged, facts debunked, pretty much all things said out of pent up anger from their Incarceration which could be understood. Getting drugged, a vendetta made against them by the warden( who currently Is In holding and awaiting trial) could be sympathized with. Not a lot can be discussed.

Traversing through a path In front of them, unbeknownst to them was a surprise In arm's reach.

Looking back and forth, Frank slowed down. ''Do these flowers look weird to you?''

Gasping, the small green drake suddenly jumped on top of the nearest thing which just happened to be the back of Frank.

''Oi, what's your malfunction?'' He questioned, almost losing his balance.

''Poison Joke, Poison joke!'' He yelled over and over.

''Moison yolk?'' Kanaranx asked In confusion

''No, Poison joke! It's a flower that plays jokes on you!'' Spike scurried up to his head now.

Scratching what little of his head that he could, the human bent over and looked at the flower: small with curved petals.

Holding It by the stalk, a slight crunching sound was heard as the leaves was put In his mouth. Mmm! Tastes like mint. Perhaps this could be used for tea leaves. Swallowing, he simply said: ''Nothing, you sure about this 'playing jokes' on us?'' He let a laugh out. What seemed Invisible, yet lingering was the faint question of what this mystery flower Is really good for. Taking a handful and munching on a few leaves, everyone else moved forward through the small grove, Intent on braving the hellhole known as the Everfree.

With Valiant's group:

Now Valiant was a lot of things: a retired, yet somewhat active royal guard, born leader, serious: all these things were accurate to a degree, though one thing Is bright as day: His group fared no better walking the gloom forest. Growling In frustration, the griffon craned his head to assure If they have already passed that slanted rock for the 5th time. Not wanting to tell what could be obvious. The hearts and minds of the surrounding group were In the lowest of places. Normally when people argue, things tend to arise that often are not meant or said the wrong way. This was not that time. Be It his attitude, a test or out of sport, Valiant treated Frank differently. Perhaps because he reminded him of his lost love? Or something else all together?

''Sometimes...I wish I could start over.'' He sighed, looking down at his wet coat. Whatever good that would do, It was not presented at that time. The current status could be In more applicable conditions. Yet anything that can go wrong will, according to a certain law. Hearing a howl that unfazed nobody, a small section of trees were made to look or resemble some type of entrance preceding the audible, but unintelligent chants.

''Kula wa, Shintu-re Moti Vas Malia Shai...

As to the matter of talking? No avail was made, no step taken, nothing. By now the rain was a sprintz, something that was welcomed from the heavy downpour. Trudging underneath the deep leaved trees, the sun's grace crept upon them like a thief In the night, without notice. The affects of the poison joke began to kick In and produce false Images In the human's psyche. Scratching his head, the slight groaning, wobbling gait In his step did not go unnoticed by Spike...and what Is exactly Is Gizmo staring at? Moving up to his ear, the drake whispered: ''Are you okay?'' Spike's voice sounded distorted, slowed down almost. Resisting the urge to buckle down and void the contents of his stomach and die, he still gave a shaken answer. ''I-I'm fine.'' He sneezed. Rather odd of how from a few minutes ago he was fine. It seemed like his Inability to fully stand, let alone walk was going to be a major handicap for the time being.

Stopping to see his current state, Iron assisted Frank In taking small steps forward, but all was put to a halt when a bush near them began to rustle. Turning to the noise, a chicken's head peered out. Being the 'kind' soul he Is, the jet black dragon attempted to pet the foul bird that jumped away to reveal the bottom portion to have the body of a snake. His field of vision blurring, a distorted cry of panic was amplified through his ear canal and thrummed In his bones with the Intensity of a subwoofer. His arms felt numb, mind clouded and a throbbing headache forming.

''Oh just shut up.'' He groaned. Leaning on Iron for support, Frank brought his right arm up and checked his ammo clip. ''Damn. Only one left, this'll have to count.'' Struggling to keep himself awake long enough, the barrel of Shock-Charge rocketed a shell to the Intended target with a squishing noise that blew the head clean off, a portion of the beak hanging off as the body collapsed In sync with Frank's body as It gave out. Getting up, Spike desperately tried to wake up his friend but would answered with silence. Hearing distant hoofsteps, everyone tensed as It could be Azure. Weapons at the ready, the figure came through a hidden section of tree and looked surprised to see visitors.

Some Time later:

The void of darkness/sleep, or whatever else came to an abrupt halt as Frank's body chose to wake up forcefully, a stream of yellow throw up spewing from his mouth and Into a waste can. Groaning as his arm felt something wooden, the surrounding area looked completely foreign to him. Vials of different colored liquid was strewn about on shelves, old looking artifacts placed about, Spike next to a cauldron, huh? Wiping any traces of barf from the facial area, Frank's  body still had not adjusted, so everything was a bit of a blur. Getting up and steadying his balance, he moved over to Spike who had no Idea that the human had awakened as he stirred some liquid around. Nodding, he jumped down from the stool only to somehow bounce off his chest and Into the pot which the contents spilled out on the floor. Seeing his obstacle to be friendly, Spike wasted no time giving him the hardest hug possible to his leg saying: ''You're okay!''

...

Not really a good word to use, but what does It matter? He Is a baby dragon.

Letting out a yawn and turning his eyes to the pot, Frank only had one question: ''Where In fuck's sake are we?'' At that time, the door opened to reveal Zecora? And everyone else? How far in were they? A bout of light headaches plagued him at the moment, but paid It no mind. Moving over to the Zebra shaman, she smiled and said: It appears my pot has fell over, Frank, my friend: are you well and eyes not In a stir?'' She asked. Nodding, he looked over to everyone else, one In particular portraying a different emotion than before.

''Yea, I'm fine; sorry about your pot.'' He gestured to which Zecora held a hoof up and shook her head.

''As friends, things were said that were not completely true. I think the time to make up Is now don't you?''

Looking away from each other, they slowly approached each other and mumbled.

''Speak up!'' Flashing scolded.

''I-I no. Apologies for what I said back there: my emotions got the better of me and I took It out on you. You are a bit of a asshole, but I think I can look past that. Plus I'd do the same: I was with you.'' The human chuckled. Clearing his throat, Valiant spoke up next.

''Same here. I didn't mean to snap like that: you just get 'pushed' for so long, the first sight of somepony bad mouthing me kinda gets me In the zone. You're still somewhat of a rookie, but I can look past that so we can compromise.''

Shaking their hand and hoof together, Valiant and Frank kinda learned something about one another and had a special friendship: the kind where you could think two people who has nothing In common could get along, you'd think they're brothers. This was something they had, however small. After a small explanation of what we came here to do and Zecora telling me what she knows about the poison joke, she led the group outside where she discovered them which was a small distance away, past a small treeline, over a rock, and here we are: the same spot they ended up at the start. At that point, the human and unicorn guard both thought If Irony was a person or pony In this case: It ought to be laughing Its ass or flank off right about now. Which brings us to here.

After that 2 day long trek, they come back out with less than they started with. Oh well.