When I Awoke

by re- Yamsmos

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Romance, Sad
Length: 1646

Noteworthy wakes up, and discovers the truth about his life.

Noteworthy wakes up, and discovers the truth about his life.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-22 02:55:22 UTC

I Was Mistaken

Noteworthy was a stallion.

A stallion, an Earth Pony.

A musician, a gentlecolt.

He was some of these things, to both himself and to the other ponies around him.

Long ago, he was, and for the longest time he thought he would remain these things for the rest of his life. Long ago, he thought he had found his happiness, and long ago he thought he had finally achieved it.

Noteworthy woke up that Hearth’s Warming Day alone, with nothing but his dusty, dirty room and the light chill of December’s winds against his face. For a brief second, he took all of it in. All of the gray walls, and all of the cabinets and dressers and boxes and miscellaneous items that he himself bore no real care for. He took in his bedroom and everything in it for a very brief moment in his life, and finally, he realized what had happened.

Noteworthy had had a dream. The events of the past week, all of it just part of a dream.

He at first denied it incredibly, hoping, wishing, praying the powers that were that maybe she was just out. Maybe she was just out and about buying food that he didn’t have or buying drinks that he didn’t drink or buying presents that he didn’t expect. Maybe maybe maybe. Oh please oh please oh please maybe.

Please please please please please oh please.

There had to be something. There always was. He got up swiftly, knowing full well that he couldn’t just leave her waiting if she was probably in the kitchen. Yeah that was it. She was cooking him breakfast, something that he hadn’t had in months, something she knew he hadn’t had in months. She was making him food, and she was happy to do so. Yes that was it.

Giving a smile, he shook his head.

There was no way it was a dream. No way. It was too realistic to be a dream.

There was no way that it was a dream, no way that after months and months of shutting himself in and denying food and drinks and sleep and neglecting himself he had decided to finally end it and he hadn’t been interrupted by a Canterlot official and he hadn’t been given an invitation to the Hearth’s Warming Eve concert and he hadn’t had it signed by the mare herself and he hadn’t cleaned up his house and he hadn’t left to get on the train and he hadn’t made it to Canterlot and he hadn’t made it to the concert in time and he hadn’t sat in his seat and he hadn’t found her absent and he hadn’t left the concert disappointed and he hadn’t gotten back home and he hadn’t sat down for hours in silence and he hadn’t gotten up and he hadn’t reached for his rope and his chair in the closet and he hadn’t been interrupted yet again and he finally, finally hadn’t opened his door and found the mare of his dreams at his door and he sure as hell hadn’t been given a hug and he hadn’t finally found his happiness. There’s no way that after all of that, he had just had a dream and he hadn’t found his Sunshine. There was no way.

There was no way, so with a smile and a suddenly happy attitude, Noteworthy opened his bedroom door and raised a hoof to the side of his mouth, calling for her.

“Octavia! Are you down there?”

Nothing.

Nothing, not even the dust mites, answered him.

He lowered the hoof and frowned slightly. Okay okay, maybe she was just out and about like he had thought. Maybe she was just buying food and things. Yeah, yeah that was it. Okay. We’re okay.

Noteworthy walked down his steps, wondering just where she had gone. With the blanket-like snow and the cold winter wind, there weren’t too many stores open today. It being Hearth’s Warming Day even further diminished any stores being available. This worried him, but he shook his head and smiled.

Tavi was always resourceful. She knew what she was doing. That’s one thing he liked about her; no matter what, Tavi would find something in the end.

So with that, Noteworthy continued smiling as he descended his staircase.

There had been many amazing things that had happened the night prior, and one of them was that, in a frightful attempt to cover up his antics, he had cleaned his house up from top to bottom, for the sole purpose of making sure Octavia didn’t realize what he had become prior. Reaching the bottom of the stair, he expected to find this state of his house’s being.

Looking out toward his living room, he stared. Bottles lay on the floor, in piles of shards if not still intact. Papers and assorted items were spread throughout the house, as if the room had been the epicenter of an earthquake that had later been torn apart by a horrible tornado. The wall of art to his right and further down the corridor was completely barren, the nails that had held the frames up still standing. As for the actual paintings, he only needed to look at the floor to discover what had happened to them.

Or, well, what was left.

Noteworthy blinked.

He shook his head.

Okay, maybe his memory was a little fuzzy. There wasn’t too much time anyway after Octavia had shown up. Yeah yeah, okay, he hadn’t cleaned up his house. He was just so happy to see her that he had imagined it. Now that he thought about it, he realized just how impossible it would have been to tidy it all up in what little time he had. It was simply not possible.

It was like a dream–

No. No shut up shut up. He was okay. It wasn’t a dream.

So he had just imagined his clean house. Well, he was sure that Octavia wouldn’t mind. In fact, now that he thought about it, he remembered that she had believed he was just drinking to celebrate the holiday. Just some simple, innocent indulging of alcohol before a wonderful time of the year.

He couldn’t deny what he had been through, but he couldn’t just let her know either.

So, he remembered that he simply smiled, for that was all he seemed to have been capable of in her presence.

She wasn’t here–

Ha ha ha. Stop Noteworthy you’re okay.

He coughed into a hoof. Okay so she was just buying food somewhere from somepony in this cold weather.

He froze. Oh no what if she was cold? Sure, he remembered that she was wearing a scarf when she had arrived, but was that enough for her? Oh no oh no. He ran to the coat rack, looking for something to give to her. Looking at it, he stopped in his tracks.

He hummed. Her scarf was gone.

Noteworthy guessed she had taken her coat with her as well, though he didn’t remember her wearing one the night prior.

It was a–

Okay! She was okay. She was warm, she was safe, and she was buying food for him, food she knew he hadn’t had. Then suddenly, he flattened his ears against the sides of his head. He felt immediately guilty. It wasn’t right to just send his mare off to fetch food, and even then it wasn’t right to not go with her. It was even worse that he hadn’t given her money so she wouldn’t have to use her own. He was sure that he had made a sizable sum from working for Roseluck. Besides, he had gone there endlessly.

He never missed a day.

Still, he had to do something. He had to make up for it somehow. Turning to his left, he found the front door, the one thing protecting him from the cold wind outside. How cold was it anyway? Surely it wasn’t too bad; Octavia was known to not be very good in the cold, but she could handle herself in slightly chilly temperatures just fine. Even then, she had brought a scarf and a coat.

How cold was it?

With a curious look, he reached for the door knob, stopping as he felt its exterior. Bringing the hoof back, he watched as large amounts of dust clung to his fur. Blinking, he shook his head and wiped it away on his side.

It was a–

Reaching for the knob again, Noteworthy sucked in a deep breath and pulled with all his weight.

And finally, Noteworthy flung his front door open and gazed at the pure white town, blanketed, covered, and shrouded by the thick, white snow. The town that he had lived in for all his life answered back in a loud, high-pitched wisp of wind flying by, no other sounds reaching his ears.

Ponyville.

Ponyville was its name.

Glaring out at Ponyville, Ponyville glared back.

Ponyville.

The residence of Noteworthy, and the other ponies around him.

He stood like this for what seemed like hours, staring at the white abyss as if it were the only thing he could stare at. And, seeing as how he didn’t have much else to do, it might as well should have been. Golden irises scanned, desperately, for something, anything to tell her where she had gone.

Yeah, she was out and about, buying food and drinks. He just wanted to know she was okay, and not getting into any trouble.

Okay yeah she was fine.

She was fine.

He was fine, too.

No matter what he was fine.

Noteworthy gave a long sigh, took one last glance out the door, and shut it quietly. Thinking, he looked to his right and simply flicked the light switch on. It was the least he could do.